Probably each of us has at least once thought about the question “how to stop being angry?” Stressful situations are far from uncommon nowadays; we have become unbalanced and quickly “explode”. To stop being angry is to be on the path to peace and happiness. But how to do that?
At the moment you are calm, it’s time to think about what good is your rage or anger bringing you? Nothing but negative emotions. At such moments, not only you yourself suffer, but also the people around you, and your aggression can cause resentment, pain and even hatred from others.
Negative emotions, if they are not splashed out, tend to accumulate in us, subsequently causing serious illnesses and disorders of the nervous system.
How to stop being angry?
Learn to spot anger in a timely manner
This will help you control yourself and the situation. It is easier to cool down at the beginning than in the middle of a conflict.
Try mindful breathing
As soon as you feel that emotions are covering you, take deep breaths and exhales and count to 10.
Affirmations will help
In moments of anger, just repeat to yourself “I wish myself well, so I don’t want to be angry, I just don’t need it. I am calm and peaceful. I want to live in harmony." Take a deep breath in through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth, and drink water.
Do some exercise or cleaning
No matter how funny it sounds, run around the yard or do exercises, clean your room. By switching your attention from emotions to the body, you will quickly cope with anger. It is likely that you will also have time to do something useful.
Box the pillow
Yes, sometimes you just need to let off some steam. And if you don’t have a punching bag in your house, a pillow will do. By the way, in Japan there is even an office with a dummy of the boss that you can box.
Write or draw
If you are overwhelmed by emotions, try putting them on a piece of paper in the form of a drawing or description.
Have a blast
Turn on your favorite music and start having a blast: sing, dance, jump, in general, do whatever your heart desires. The mood will definitely be lifted.
Take a shower
Take a shower, preferably a contrast one. Imagine that water washes away all the negativity, all the bad emotions and accumulated grievances from you. Water cleanses your body and soul.
If you stop being angry, forgive those you were angry at and forgive yourself for not holding back. And be sure to praise yourself for coping with negative emotions on your own.
If someone's behavior makes you angry, there can be two reasons - either the person is really doing something annoying (in most cases, this is true), or the person is doing something completely everyday, but even their breathing makes you thunder and lightning. Whether it's the former or the latter, it's better to find a way to deal with your emotions.
Steps
Part 1
Stop getting angry at others- Stop expecting too much. There is no need to lose faith in humanity, but accept the fact that not everyone around you has ideal manners, speech, and upbringing. You will begin to appreciate people more if you stop waiting for them to finally surprise you with their abilities. Adequate assessment of others is the main key to success.
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Ask yourself why you need this.“What do I get out of being angry?” Most likely, not so much. Perhaps you feel superior to other people. But do you really want to boost your self-esteem this way? Your self-perception will become much more stable if it is based on what you do, rather than on how others behave.
Don't be afraid to remain indifferent. When someone annoys us, these emotions are usually so strong that it is almost impossible to suppress them. It's in these moments that we say things we shouldn't say or do things we later regret. Our reaction almost always only makes the situation worse. Take a deep breath, calm down, and decide whether this situation deserves your attention at all.
- Of course, if your coworker just made an aggressively sexist speech, it makes sense to say something like, “Steve, I think comparing women to cows is a bad idea.” But if this colleague played you with the same trick for the tenth time, your irritation will only please him.
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Watch your body language. If you frown, your interlocutor will regard this as hostility, and will also begin to subconsciously reflect unfriendliness. This can unintentionally damage your relationships with people. Try to maintain a calm appearance without showing your irritation.
Think positively. If you suspect that someone is deliberately trying to piss you off, think about whether this person simply does not realize that his behavior hurts you? Most people don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable, and they don't know that their behavior is causing negative emotions. Most likely, they don't even notice you. Remember that you think of yourself much more than others think of you, and the same principle applies to everyone around you.
Don't get angry over little things. A child behaves restlessly on an airplane, a colleague talks loudly on the phone, a lady from the delivery service asks the same question twice - all these are trifles that are not worth a damn. They have no meaning in the grand scheme of things. You can greatly improve the quality of your life if you focus on the things that really matter—family, friends, health, adventure, and long-term goals.
- Accept what you cannot change. You can change yourself, your air freshener and your home decor style. You can't change other people. Don't waste your energy.
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Don't try to please everyone. No matter who you are or what you do, you will never be able to win over absolutely everyone around you. Some people will treat you indifferently or negatively, and trying to influence this is monkey business. The desire to please everyone around you is selfish and does not honor you.
- It doesn't matter how good you are, there will still be someone who doesn't like you. Whether it's because of race, religion, nationality, gender, sexual orientation or social class, they will hate you and do anything to disrupt the smooth flow of your life. Most people never manage to overcome prejudices, but even if they do, it takes a lot of time.
- Prove the haters wrong by ignoring them. The best thing you can do in this situation is to ignore them and go about your business. Prove that you are a good person by not shouting it in people's faces, but by simply continuing to live your life. For those who do not come to their senses over time, nothing will save them.
Part 2
Overcome your own irritability-
Find out what's bothering you. Do you explode over little things, like someone breathing loudly, or is it something really annoying, like your brother deliberately banging his toys even though you've already asked him three times not to? If little things make you angry, most likely the reason for the dissatisfaction is subconscious and lies either in the attitude towards the person or in the attitude towards yourself.
Remember that irritable people irritate those around them. Look at yourself in anger from the outside. Do you look like the epitome of grace that everyone would love to be friends with? Or a sour bore from whom they try to stay away? Most likely, by getting annoyed with someone, you yourself become an equally unpleasant person. You don’t want to turn into someone who annoys you, do you?
Follow the advice you give to other people. If you can't figure out what exactly irritates you about a person, think about what advice you would like to give him. For example, if he made an inappropriate joke about your friend, you might want to say "respect people's feelings." But instead of taking your advice to others, try applying it to yourself. Yes, to your place! Are you sure that you respect the feelings of others? Maybe you just didn’t understand the joke, and your friend didn’t find it offensive? Sometimes what irritates us in other people is precisely what we cannot fix in ourselves.
The reason for irritability may lie in you personally, and not in others. Very often we begin to rage in situations that remind us of our own shortcomings. People do not want to believe that they are imperfect and try to protect themselves from any associations on this topic. Ask yourself: Are you angry because the other person reflects personality traits that you don't like about yourself?
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- Positive thinking will help you cope with irritability.
- People on the Internet can be just as annoying as they are in real life. Don't take online communication to heart and approach everything with humor. After all, you don't even know what most of these people look like.
- The more annoying people are to you, the more likely it is that the problem lies with you and not with them.
- If a specific person, such as a sibling, is annoying you, simply leave the room and calm down.
Warnings
- Sometimes you just need to look at the situation from the outside to understand that everything is not so bad. If the problem is really serious, try meditation. Talk to a close friend or a psychologist if something is starting to drive you literally crazy. Do not accept your own aggressive reaction as the norm. In conflict situations, this is exactly what your opponents expect from you, because empty aggression makes you look like a fool and can lead to additional problems.
- Think about what kind of behavior seems irritable to you. If you make mountains out of mountains, people may dislike you for being picky and grouchy.
- Remember that you can influence other people and “infect” them with your ill will towards a particular person, and this often develops into bullying from society. You should not point out to others the shortcomings of other people.
Take a breath. Deep breathing, which engages the diaphragm, can actually help cope with an influx of feelings. Count slowly to ten. Imagine that you are on the seashore, hear the sound of waves and the cry of seagulls in the distance. Let this serenity consume you. Think of something that calms you down—a loved one, a career achievement, a beloved pet.
Let go of your ideas about what people “should” and “shouldn’t” do. Very often we perceive others as images, and as a result we are disappointed when they do not act as we expected. Generally accepted standards of decency are, of course, good, but if you expect ideal behavior from everyone, you can ruin your nerves. To prevent this from happening, try following the following point:
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Anger is a basic human emotion along with fear, joy, and interest. Modern social frameworks give a negative connotation to anger, thereby asserting that being angry is bad. Indeed, an angry person causes rejection, anxiety and a desire to move away to a safe distance. However, you cannot escape from nature.
Psychology does not divide emotions and feelings into good and bad, but accepts them as an integral part of the manifestation of personality. We experience anger not because we are bad, but simply because we are human and it is natural for us to experience it.
Like any emotion, anger is a reaction to environmental influences. For example, someone stepped on our feet in public transport and we got angry. Or they stained a beautiful dress on the way to a date. Or something else.
Therefore, it is quite normal to experience the emotion of anger. Then why is society so insistent that it is unacceptable to be angry? The point is that anger is one thing, but the manifestation of anger is another. Emotion itself is a given of nature, it is a mechanism of our defense, its manifestation is the result of human social adaptation. The demonstration of anger directly depends on the cultural level of the individual, internal personal boundaries, experience and beliefs. What is important is not the suppression of anger, which is fraught with mental disorders, but its expression in a socially acceptable form.
You will need:
Determine the cause of anger
In order to learn to adequately respond to negative factors from the outside, you need to determine exactly what reasons cause anger in us.
You can get angry just once at something or someone, but anger can also be a typical and constant accompaniment of some aspects of our lives.
For example, every time you get angry with your husband for his sloppiness or for the disobedience of the children. If the reason for your constant anger is obvious to you, then think about how to eliminate it. 
Perhaps you should agree with your husband about order in the house, and establish clear and unquestioning rules with your children that the whole family will follow? And whoever is guilty will face a pre-agreed punishment?
Keep an "anger diary"
If determining the cause of your anger is problematic, then writing in a diary can make the task easier for you. Keep a diary of anger and every time you experience it, make notes in the form of answers to the questions:
- “What event preceded the appearance of anger?”
- “What do I really want to get out of this person/situation?”
- “How do I want to show my anger?”
Train your awareness in this matter for about a month, watch yourself. And after some time, the true reasons for anger will become clear and you can work on them according to Tip 1.
Be angry right
By doing physical exercise or work, you can reduce your anger to an acceptable level. , for example, you can react to an emotion very well.
The following exercises will help you relieve anger.
Exercise No. 1.
We sit on a chair/armchair/sofa without leaning our elbows, keeping our back straight. We focus all our attention on the emotion that is absorbing us at this moment in time - anger. We try not only to define an emotion, but also to mentally describe its qualities: color, shape, location, smell, etc. Then we strain ALL the muscles of the body as much as possible and release the emotion by energetically knocking our feet on the floor. You need to kick your feet until you get tired. You can add voice accompaniment in the form of shouting or swearing, after making sure that you are alone in the room. Repeat 3-5 times until you feel physical fatigue, with which the emotion goes away.
Exercise No. 2.
Required tools:
- Paper;
- Colored watercolor;
- Brush;
- Water.
Focus your attention on the stressful situation, on what made you uncomfortable.
Now pick up a brush and start painting. Use a lot of water and colors that best reflect your inner state at the moment. During the process, you can cry, scream, growl, make different sounds, etc. This is fine. You may end up with a plot drawing, or an abstraction.
The goal is not for you to like the drawing, for you to draw all the details, etc., but to draw until your condition changes. You will feel these changes yourself.
Naturally, if you are depicting indignation, then you should not expect a feeling of euphoria at once. We felt changes inside ourselves and finished drawing. The next day they started again. And we do this until we feel a state in which we are comfortable, while keeping the image of the original feeling or situation in our minds. 
You can also paint with watercolors on a wet sheet of paper. This is required when you need to cry, but you can’t. Such “wet drawing” can be effective in this matter.
Seek help from a psychologist
It’s great to engage in self-analysis, look for the causes of anger and ways to respond to it, but not everyone can do it. Therefore, it is worth seeking help from, thanks to whom you will not only determine the real cause of anger, but also come up with an acceptable form of response.
smile more
“Like attracts like” is a phrase you often hear. And it is true. When a person is filled with negativity, then the outside world will respond to him in the same way. Your inner anger will begin to attract “evidence and confirmation” of the world’s anger. For example, you have been unfairly slandered, you are angry. Your heart is filled with anger and it seems that everyone around you is gossiping and slandering. And the first person who asks how you are will fall under the comb of gossips and backbiters. Even undeservedly. 
Every day a person is haunted by a huge number of irritating factors that become causes of stress and nervous breakdowns. The whole body suffers from this, and especially the nervous system. It shouldn’t be this way, because it leads to various diseases and simply poisons your life.
In order to eliminate stress from your life, you need to learn how to how to stop being irritated. To find peace, become balanced and not react to provoking stimuli, you can use some simple recommendations that will help you behave correctly in certain situations.
Tip 1.
If suddenly you find yourself in a situation where immediate intervention is required from you, and such that you feel the need to say something harsh to your interlocutor, make some kind of emotional gesture, or simply slam the door, this means that in anger arises in you. Having noticed its beginning, you must give yourself the command to stop and suppress it. To do this as quickly as possible, just give yourself a short break. You can try simply starting to count down the numbers slowly, clearly saying each of them in your mind. This technique will allow you to stop the emerging anger in the bud. Once your pause is over, you will no longer want to continue. Instead, you will experience relief and be able to move any dialogue into a constructive direction.
Tip 2.
In some situations, your conversation partner begins to yell at you, provoking a similar reaction. Don't fall for this trick. Be and retreat. Don't show him your irritation. Otherwise, you may appear stubborn. If this is still acceptable in childhood, then at your current age it is definitely not. Try to understand that what your partner tells you is only his personal opinion, and starting to quarrel with him just because this opinion does not suit you is stupid. In the event that your decision in this situation must be made and voiced, try to push it back to a later time. This will allow you to gain time to make a decision and evaluate all its positive and negative aspects.
Tip 3.
Try to protect yourself from difficult thoughts. Believe me, every person has them, it’s just that some people cope with them more successfully, others less so. Learn to distract your attention from problems. Before you make any important decision, rest and relax; after your strength and nerves are restored, it will be much easier to make the right decision.
Tip 4.
Don't chase success in everything. Set one goal for yourself and do everything to achieve it. Only after you are completely satisfied with the result, move on to the next task.
Tip 5.
Listen to the opinions of people close to you. Appreciate them. Many experts argue that loneliness and the inability to share one’s problems with loved ones are the main factors causing stress. Try starting to discuss what's bothering you with close friends, and your irritability will decrease significantly.
Become less demanding of others. Do not forget that all people have the right to their own point of view and do not like when something is imposed on them.
Tip 6.
Another answer to the question of how to stop being irritated, can be relaxations that can be carried out both at home and by contacting specialists in special centers.
Good luck to you, my dear readers!
Hello, dear friends!
It happens that the behavior of others causes enormous irritation. There are two explanations for this phenomenon. The first one says that people really do do some stupid things and provoke you, but the other reason is more dangerous.
Its essence concerns a complex anger towards the whole world, and specifically towards this person because he is breathing. In these two cases, you need to learn to develop a sound value judgment and, of course, train the ability to control your own emotions. How to not get annoyed with people and feel free and independent?
For today’s material, I have prepared several effective techniques that effectively help pacify the evil lightning that is trying to break out! The desire to glare, caustically respond to compromising behavior and dissatisfaction expressed personally is nothing more than your personal protest. There are two stages of getting out of the current impasse of a negative attitude towards the world:
- stop being angry with people;
- stop being angry with yourself.
1. Shouldn't
Very often people misunderstand the word “should”. They create a powerful image of a person, and when it falls out of him, this triggers a further mechanism of destruction.
If you do not let go of your idea of what duties a person can perform or does not perform, then life will become easier for you, first of all. Disappointment from expectations is what overwhelms a person who obsessively believed in an invented hero.
Naturally, there are socially defined standards of decency. But this does not mean that everyone around us should behave perfectly or the way we would like.
And if, every time the picture does not coincide with the idea in our head, we throw a tantrum or fall into despair, then the chance of developing neurosis or simply spoiling our nerves will increase.
What to do? First, stop expecting too much. Especially from loved ones. Give an adequate assessment of those around you, accepting them as they are. Secondly, you need to let go of the desire to control the situation, remarks and behavior of individuals.
2. How about a heart-to-heart talk?
I think nothing useful. Otherwise you wouldn't be reading this article. It is also possible that by expressing such feelings, you feel your own superiority.
This happens to people whose self-esteem is at a critical level of decline. By criticizing what is happening or actions, the process of throwing out negativity from the depths of experiences occurs faster and they feel relief.
But is it really necessary to increase self-esteem in this way? Your well-being and sense of self will improve greatly if you focus on what YOU are doing, not what other people are doing.
3. Don't stand on the sidelines!
Pessimism, negative emotions and irritability form an explosive tandem. Constant fixation on painful moments forces a person to find a reason to scandalize.
The reason for this is the suppression of emotions for too long and the fear of expressing them due to condemnation. But before rushing from one extreme to the other, it is worth understanding the principle of interaction with the emerging desire to participate in conflict situations.
At the moment of nervous overstrain, restraining oneself is not an easy task. When someone annoys us, similar traits are similarly echoed in ourselves!
At such moments, we can say a lot of nasty things, gloat excessively, pour out sarcasm and take on the defensive pose of a Scorpio. But then we always regret.
How to help yourself? Take a deep breath. Try to reassure yourself that you are in a safe place and people are not intentionally trying to hurt you.
If a colleague at work allows himself an unnecessary remark, do not remain silent. Express your opinion in a reserved and cold manner, as if you were a disinterested observer.
If a colleague plays you this way all the time, and you always give the same reaction - anger and throwing lightning, then it’s worth re-reading point number 2 again.
4. Don't try to please everyone
It’s worth understanding one simple truth - you don’t need to try to win over all people without exception.
Understand that no matter what you do or what you do, there will always be people ready to judge you. And at the same time, there will be those who, regardless of what is happening, will always be on your side of the barricades.
The desire to please everyone is selfish and does not decorate you as a person. Prove that you are a good person not by shouting nasty things in your face, but by living a full, happy life despite the whispers behind your back.
This way, you will spare a couple of nerve cells in your brain and begin to follow your own unique path without turning into the person you promised you would never become.
5. Observation
I will advise you to use the “observer” technique in order to see the result of irritability with your own eyes. Look at yourself in anger from the outside as an example of people you may meet on the street.
Do they, at the moment of grumbling with saliva, look like the embodiment of something kind, bright and welcoming? I think no. Do they look like unstable people you want to stay away from? Probably yes.
By getting annoyed with someone, you gradually turn into that person who causes disgust. Do you really want this?
6. Let go of the grudge
When all attempts to appear perfect for other people fail, we experience animal horror. Rejection of oneself makes one feel resentment towards “bad” relatives. They show you your own inferiority and weaknesses.
Forming a grudge and carrying it carefully under your heart is very dangerous. The harm to health caused by it is colossal! These may be problems with the psyche, stomach and immune system.
More and more specialists and doctors are confident that oncological diseases arise precisely because of deep, spiritual problems. Irritability, as a product of low self-esteem and erroneous judgments, can infect you not only with negative attitudes, but also simply destroy a couple of years of your life.
Relying on the mistakes of other people, seeing the world in gray tones and imperfection will not bring anything good and joyful to your consciousness. So why do you need to continue down the path of self-destruction? Start changing now! Positive thinking helps you cope with explosiveness here and now! If you feel dissatisfaction growing, try to leave the room or simply smile. Test in practice how smiling and proper breathing will make you calmer.
Friends, this is the point.
See you on the blog, bye-bye!