Modern people spend a significant part of their free time at work, so factors such as pleasure from work and the material benefits that come from this work are of great importance. In addition, the team that surrounds you plays a huge role, because the company of friendly people contributes to the high-quality performance of job duties. You don’t need to look far for an example, because in almost any office the work process with graphs, numbers and balances is accompanied by tea drinking and gossip.
The downside of such an atmosphere is conflicts that arise due to gossip, after which employees quit or go on the defensive. In the female team, such shortcomings are reflected most strongly, so recommendations from psychologists have been developed specifically for them to help them continue to work in them.
To survive and move up the career ladder, you need to remember to tune in to the result. If you care about work productivity, self-improvement and professional development, then concentrate on this, and not on surviving in the snake tangle in which you find yourself.
Behavior strategy
First of all, think about your behavior strategy, but since in a female team you won’t be able to please everyone at once, think first of all about your own comfort. It is worth preparing in advance for the fact that you will have to take part in gossip, ask questions and answer questions from others, because your employees are interested in many things, both related to you and abstract. A thoughtful position will help to avoid mistakes, because even those that are not related to work will be judged and criticized.
Also, you shouldn’t talk too much about your personal life, and the more successful it is, the more personal achievements you have, the less you should talk about it, especially to less successful colleagues. It is also worth remembering that all colleagues should be given approximately equal attention and no one should be singled out.
It’s better not to attract attention to yourself by dressing brightly and actively speaking out; you also shouldn’t express your opinion too much, it’s better to stay within the golden mean. If you look bright or, conversely, gray, you can equally well cause negativity, because envy and condemnation are equally unpleasant. When you just joined a new team, listen more and talk less, do not rush to show your individuality.
Gossip and redistribution of power
Women's groups are characterized by a passion for drinking tea together, mainly due to the fact that after this new gossip may appear. Therefore, newcomers should behave very carefully at this time so as not to become a victim of gossip. Do not forget that the main gossips are often the most friendly colleagues at first glance, they show their affection to new employees, and then discuss them behind their backs. Therefore, even with well-wishers, you should not talk too much about yourself or your views on management, salary, or talk about your ambitions.
Often, a women's team is divided into components, each of which can try to include a new girl in its ranks. In such a situation, it is better not to give in to persuasion and not make hasty decisions. It would be ideal to maintain neutrality and not participate in the redistribution of power.
When starting to work in a women's team, it is worth remembering that you came there to work, and not to build relationships with colleagues. Therefore, it is worth focusing your attention on work, because it is knowledge and experience that will help you get promoted, not friends and gossip.
You should treat everyone with respect and address your colleagues by their first and patronymic names. You should not get close to your colleagues, that is, it is better for men not to have affairs at work, of course, perhaps it is there that you will find your destiny, you should always remain attentive and selective, and women should not expect to find a best friend, because female friendship in such a team will most likely be one-sided and short-lived.
If you have become a victim of gossip, it is better to remain indifferent, show that you are indifferent to gossip about you, and show intelligence and good manners.
Remember that the best strategy is to be calm, confident and indifferent.
It’s good when something that generates income becomes something you love. Helps you provide for yourself and realize your own ambitions. But sometimes a situation arises when you don’t want to go to work, it doesn’t bring you any pleasure, and every working day becomes hard labor. The reason may be the wrong choice of specialization, or the atmosphere that develops in the workplace over time.
What does the work atmosphere depend on?
- The formation of the right “weather” at work is influenced by the personality of the manager and his manner of relationships with subordinates;
- The gender of the team also shapes the atmosphere in it. The women's team is based on constant emotional interaction, with an admixture of gossip and intrigue of various scales. Willingness to interact in a female team is valued most of all;
- The male team is characterized by competition and determination. The main thing here is the manifestation of professional qualities and competence in matters of both a professional and life nature;
- When the team is mixed, it is difficult to separate the aspect of interaction. The personal qualities of team members play a big role. Each is a wheel of the mechanism, which means it has a direct influence on it.
A leader must have purposefulness, perseverance, but most importantly, the ability to build relationships with subordinates, without singling out individual people. This disrupts interpersonal relationships, for example, when bullying occurs against an employee who is “in special favor” with his superiors.
When problems arise
Problems in a business team arise due to disruptions in the interaction between the component parts. Troubles arise both when a new person appears and between people who have been working together for a long time.
The reasons for the disruption of interpersonal relationships are envy, complexes, the desire to assert oneself, and insidious intentions, such as moving up the career ladder at the expense of “advanced” colleagues.
A situation often occurs when a recently hired person becomes an outcast. Here it is important to determine who is emitting aggression: the team, not wanting to accept a new person, or he himself, due to a lack of desire to join in.
Sometimes the boss himself begins to “eat” an unwanted employee, for example, if he had some kind of relationship with him or because of fears that he will “get him on.”
The reasons that relationships don’t work out include hiring “through acquaintances,” friendly relations with superiors, the desire to change the work of the object, or criticism of an existing way of life.
Regardless of what conflicts arise, they negatively affect the work process, creating a painful, tense atmosphere in which people are only busy fighting among themselves.
How to join a new team
The measure to overcome conflict situations is their prevention. After all, no one wants to become an object of bullying or an outcast in a new workplace. So make every effort at the beginning of “introduction” into the new workforce.
- Start building formal and informal connections from day one. Observe new colleagues individually and as a whole, forming an impression and drawing conclusions. Notice smiles and superficial glances, so you can figure out who is friendly and who is not;
- Bring something for tea if there is a tradition of drinking tea together. Follow standard measures to ensure a good impression of you;
- Stop talking about meeting the company’s management; it’s better to share the joy of getting a job that you like;
- Don't stand apart, be smiling and friendly. Choose a colleague who is also positive towards you, and then slowly learn the common traditions and foundations of the work group;
- Don't ask about individuals. Rather than using someone else’s subjective opinion, it is better to form your own over time;
- Don't praise yourself, your experience and education. There will be someone who wants to show you your place, which will become a direct reason for a conflict to arise.
People work at work, and interpersonal relationships arise as a consequence of professional interaction. So don't rush things. Be positive and professional, don't talk about your personal life, at least at first, until you figure out who to trust, and also show good communication skills. Then you will join the team smoothly but reliably.
When thinking about how to improve relationships with colleagues, follow moderation, do not fawn and do not be too intrusive. The main thing for you is to do your job. But you shouldn’t isolate yourself from new colleagues either. There should be moderation in everything.
How to survive in a women's team?
So, your team at work consists mainly of women. Is it good or bad? Neither one nor the other. The women's team has its own characteristics that must be taken into account. And knowing them will help you “survive” in the workplace.The main feature of the ladies' group is that women have a greater need for verbal communication than men. It is not for nothing that in most cases girls begin to speak earlier than boys. Women need communication - and communication is not virtual, but live.
Conversations
This leads to the first factor that needs to be taken into account - they always say here. About work and bosses, about children and problems with husbands, about shopping and hairstyles... And that’s good. You always have the opportunity to discuss pressing issues: from a quarrel with your husband to the best store to buy new shoes. But this feature also has a downside.
Firstly, the workflow suffers. Especially if you have recently been working in a company and are not yet accustomed to planning your working time taking into account the obligatory conversations and tea parties.
Secondly, conversations here often become common property - and therefore it is very easy to ruin relationships with colleagues or superiors by once participating in their discussion. And in such conditions, you can easily become the hero of gossip - it is enough to tell a little about your personal life.
Who are we fighting against?
It is also common for women sense of community- being with someone is more comfortable for them than being alone. Therefore, certain interest groups are often formed in the workplace. This is a normal situation if interests are not related to work. But if one group, for example, supports the boss and enjoys his favor, and the second does not, conflict cannot be avoided. The usual difference of opinions that manifests itself during a conversation about trifles can also aggravate relations between groups.
Follow the rules!
In a women's team, rules always apply. The problem is that these rules are usually not spelled out in the regulations. There is an unspoken daily routine, there is an informal leader, and it is worth observing some verbal obligations that apply within the team - for example, an agreement on mutual replacement in case of illness, on donating money for employees’ birthdays, on joint celebration of holidays, etc. Refusing to comply with these unspoken rules is the easiest way to cause hostility from the team.
Correction for emotions
Firstly, pay close attention to the work being performed - then ill-wishers will not have the opportunity to find fault with you or “sit on you”.
Secondly, try not to splash out your emotions - calmness and politeness have a better chance of support. In addition, if there is no reaction, attacks on you may die out on their own.
It’s interesting that a conflict can be resolved by... a man. It has been noticed that if a representative of the stronger sex appears in a women's team, the ladies change their behavior - they become softer, more accommodating, and begin to pay more attention to appearance, while the struggle for power fades into the background.
Maybe this is the ideal way to combat the negative characteristics of a female team - invite a man...
— Relationships in society: types, pros and cons
— Five types of team management
— Attitudes in teams. Pros and cons of friendship
— The importance of communication connections
— How to improve relationships in a team
- Conclusion
Five Types of Team Management
The type of company management is often divided into five components, where the boss does not interfere in the management of the team, does a lot himself and does not delegate his functions.
He aims to keep his position and nothing else. It is not surprising that the team does not like him, because he does not feel any concern for himself. In this case, production often suffers, because the manager simply physically cannot know everything, and since he does not resort to the help of others, he is practically marking time.
The second type of leadership is practically familiarity. In such a company, the manager takes care of everyone, sets a comfortable pace of work, but he is also not particularly concerned about the results, because caring about people sometimes involuntarily dampens them, and they sit on their necks. Favorites may also appear, which also leads to a decrease in results, since there is less demand for them.
A manager who sets tasks but is not interested in the human factor is also not very good in companies, since people simply work in them to their limits. The task may be assigned to an employee who does not have sufficient competence to deal with it.
Also, not everyone can withstand such a command style, since orders are usually not discussed, and dissenters face dismissal.
If a leader has a golden mean in leadership and psychological approach, then he achieves excellent results from the team, since he does not demand the impossible, but also does not give up in solving problems. This is convenient in those structures where the team is small and of different ages.
Not everyone is able to unite people with different interests and personalities into one team, but especially gifted and charismatic individuals succeed in this. Naturally, such a leader must himself be a model of dedication and competence so that employees follow him.
The manager gives the employee self-confidence, allows him to gain more managerial functions, and develops him into a professional. Trust on the part of the manager and the reduction of supervision allows the formation of additional management personnel of the company who can independently cope with any of the company’s tasks.
Attitudes in teams. Pros and cons of friendship
Positive aspects of friendly relations in the work team:
1. Favorable atmosphere.
In many companies, management agrees to spend a lot of money on spending time together among employees in order to create warm relationships in the team, making it a single whole with high work efficiency.
Friends brighten up gloomy work days and bring positivity into them.
2. Help.
Rarely in the entire team is there a person who is ready to selflessly spend his time and energy to help you deal with the work that you simply do not have time to do.
But a close friend at work will definitely help you out in difficult times.
3. Awareness.
A person who stays alone in a team often suffers from a lack of information and communication.
So, having a friend at work, you will be aware of everything.
4. Warn of danger.
When something is wrong and clouds are gathering over you, who will be the first to inform you of the danger if not your like-minded person?
This way you can thoroughly prepare for the upcoming conversation, think through everything, how to react to an attack, and in some cases develop a strategy of action.
5. Reliable cover.
Friends will always cover you when, say, you need to leave early.
For example, in the event of an absence, a friend will say that you are away resolving issues with an important client.
Disadvantages of friendly relations in a team:
1) Ambiguous attitude of management towards friendship.
Most managers have ambivalent assessments of friendly relations in the team.
Management likes it when everything is quiet in the office - there is no gossip, but they also treat the friendship of employees with extreme caution.
When colleagues are friends with each other, they easily cover for each other, while hiding valuable information from management.
From time to time, management is forced to express their dissatisfaction by changing employees' offices.
2) Quarrels and low work efficiency.
Even the most inseparable friends are known to have arguments.
Then the desire to go to work completely disappears along with the mood, the person cannot work calmly at the sight of his “friend”.
3)Endless conversations.
Having a friend at work, you will waste most of your time just talking.
This cannot be overlooked if the amount of wages depends on the amount of work done.
3) Secrets.
If you have an argument with your friend, who has heard all your responses about the leadership and knows your opinion about them, then you can be sure that telling your secret will not be the slightest difficulty for him.
The importance of communication connections
The nature of communication between group members is of great importance for the formation of a favorable psychological environment and successful work activity. Sustainable communication connections allow employees to dynamically exchange information and mutually enrich themselves with the necessary information.
The psychology of relationships in a team in the field of communication has a decisive influence on the formation of value-motivational orientations and social attitudes of workers, their mood and activity.
According to research, up to 35% of the total amount of information received through the media, advertisements and posters is first mediated by individual members of society, and then transmitted by them further through personal contacts.
Based on the information received, experts believe that the psychology of relationships at work, the level of team control, its general condition and effectiveness depend on the skillful use and correct distribution of information flows in the group.
Psychologists recommend that managers organize additional breaks during the working day for 5-10 minutes. This will contribute to the formation of informal relationships among people. Such temporary losses will pay off handsomely by increasing team cohesion.
In addition, according to professionals, the psychology of relationships at work develops better if employees have a high level of compatibility, based on an optimal combination of motivation, type of behavior, ethical standards and values.
Experts also note negative interactions between people prone to dominance; they start real battles in the workplace for the position of leader. For hot-tempered workers, the psychology of intergroup relations advises choosing a calm partner.
And at the same time, all members of the team, without exception, must have the ability to tolerate, be critical of themselves, and be able to establish communication connections.
How to improve relationships in a team
A person spends only the first two or three years of his life separately from an organized group. And when the time comes to leave the house and go to our own kind, we begin to learn the basics of relationships in a team.
— Once you find yourself in a new team, try to establish relationships with your immediate management.
It is precisely this that is the buffer between you and the higher-ranking authorities, which, in case of urgent need, will be a defense, a person who will get a bonus or arrange a small scolding in order to prevent the righteous anger of the authorities themselves.
— if you hold a higher position, respect your subordinates and instill in them a sense of self-confidence, because with a strong team you can always achieve better results.
- if you have an extremely negative attitude towards the team, and you can’t not only understand it, but also find at least a couple of like-minded people, then it’s better to find another job.
— Be patient and you will be able to improve relationships in the team if you are honest with your colleagues.
Smile and joke - and this will definitely be appreciated in the team, but everything must be in moderation without vulgar jokes and constant cackling, the main thing is not to go too far.
- You can’t teach your boss.
If you want to object to your boss, do it in the correct form. Or maybe it’s better to remain silent altogether. But this is true if the leader is inadequate. If we are talking about adequate leadership, then he will correctly perceive even such an insubordinate remark.
— Respect your elders and listen to them.
If, behind the constant nagging, you still manage to recognize sincerity and a good attitude towards you, then be polite and listen carefully to the older generation, sometimes their advice is expensive.
Conclusion
Whether to make friends with colleagues or not, everyone decides for themselves. But whatever you decide, you need to strive for harmonious relationships in the team. Then, if necessary, your colleagues will always come to your aid and understand your situation.
Relationships in a team depend on many factors, such as:
- education of people,
— age categories
- universal human values.
A well-mannered person will always be able to establish relationships with colleagues. He knows where to remain silent and where to answer, and also does not forget about his responsibilities, without mixing his personal life with work.
The material was prepared by Dilyara specifically for the site
How to improve relationships in a women's team, how to improve relationships in a men's team, how to improve relationships in a mixed team. How to communicate well with a female leader.
PSYCHOLOGY OF WORK IN A TEAM
Whatever our position, profession and experience, we usually work in a team. And those who work from home communicate in one way or another with the employer, largely depend on him, and sometimes on other colleagues, even if they do not know them personally. The role of these relationships is extremely important. They affect both career growth and the psychological comfort of the work process, and ultimately whether you will continue to work in this company or whether you need to urgently look for a new place.
The team with which your profession or occasion has connected you can be anything - large or small, homogeneous in certain parameters or heterogeneous. But in any case, it consists of women and men. Sometimes this is an all-female or all-male team, each of which has unique characteristics and oh, how difficult it is to work in. And mixed teams (which are still the majority) still consist of small groups of women and men. Having figured out their characteristics, it will be easier for you to model your own behavior pattern.
From birth, boys are different from girls in many ways. Boys are more active, scream more often and explore the world around them more willingly.
You may ask, what does a golden childhood have to do with career growth? The most direct. After all, children's games are a model of the same work. Boys' games always contain conflict and competition. They learn to fight and deal with opponents. And most importantly: boys usually play by pre-agreed rules. They try to follow the letter of the rules, but they certainly argue fiercely about their essence with each other.
Girls most often play games without rules, such as mother-daughter games. The main thing here is not winning, but maintaining good relationships. So conflicts rarely happen, and little ones simply don’t have the skills to get out of difficult situations. And in groups of girls, there is usually no rigid hierarchy typical of most boy groups.
When boys and girls are together, the boys usually take over. The same thing happens in the service - women invariably find themselves in secondary roles.
Due to established traditions, women in society have long been brought up in the spirit of subordination and self-awareness as the weaker sex, from childhood learning to focus on values such as hard work and submission to the will of a man. Passivity and avoidance of conflict can be considered a feature of the Russian mentality. In modern conditions, women also strive to avoid direct confrontation and, unlike men, show more restraint and tact.
It must be recognized that the world of business is created and run by men. Men approach work with the same attitude with which they go to sports competitions. Games, sports, and business are governed by unwritten rules that are familiar to most men, but, unfortunately, almost never mastered by women. Therefore, if you want to get men to listen to your opinions and consider you as an equal partner, there are a few key points you need to understand.
But first, let's consider the opposite situation, when at work you are surrounded by colleagues exclusively of the same sex.
Women's team. Problems and difficulties of working in a women's team
In the ladies' reserves, against the backdrop of friendly tea parties, endless conversations on “burning” topics far from production needs, poisonous shoots of gossip and intrigue usually grow. And if the situation in the women’s team is favorable, real battles of character and ambition flare up. Therefore, if fate has brought you into a purely Viennese company and you intend to succeed in your career and maintain peace of mind, the first thing you should do is take a closer look at the main figures who determine the course of the game.
Let's start with the head of the company, because management personnel, and especially female managers, decide everything.
Tyrant. If the head of a women's team is an eccentric person with a hysterical character, especially cruel games without rules are started there. She makes decisions about appointments, bonuses and other benefits, guided solely by her momentary mood. She is distinguished by her quarrelsome disposition and insane vanity. She uses her power over defenseless employees and asserts herself by humiliating her subordinates. She loves compliments, always strives for increased attention and does not tolerate anyone other than her being in the center of events. She likes to present banalities as some kind of revelation and is terribly surprised if someone thinks differently. The main thing is to study its weak points and not touch them under any circumstances. Try to compliment her new hairstyle, new shoes and complexion. You can bring your plans to life only by convincing her that she planned everything, and you are only voicing her brilliant ideas. Under no circumstances should you show her your dissatisfaction. True, from time to time you can whine and complain in order to get a salary increase. This will give her another reason to assert herself and feel like a benefactor.
Commissioner. A zealous boss is, as a rule, an outspoken feminist who knows the business and rules the women's team with an iron fist. She does not tolerate outside interference, she is categorical and very tough, especially with those who in any way deviate from her demands. Fines and reprimands are her favorite methods of management. A rare type of boss who attaches almost no importance to relationships. So waiting for her to be lenient about her absence from work due to a relative’s illness is a waste of time. She is a real workaholic, working day and night at work, which for her is the meaning of life. Try to pretend that work is everything to you. Demonstrate excellent health, absence of domestic and family problems, devotion to the company and faith in the strategic line pursued by your superiors. You can consult with her, but under no circumstances argue with her. Show initiative, but don’t force anything on her. She values professionalism and primarily encourages good specialists. Therefore, improve your competence, attend different courses and use any opportunity to demonstrate your skills. Then peace with your boss, a career and, by the way, patronage from her are guaranteed.
Darling. The principle of its leadership is complete non-interference in the affairs of the company. She, perhaps rightly, believes that vigorous activity will not help the matter, it can only ruin everything. Subordinates are wise, they themselves know everything. And if they don’t know, they can be safely fired. It is under her that the struggle for power and income, the rivalry of “groups” for informal leadership, actively unfolds. There is complete chaos in business and relationships, because in the women's team there is no one to resolve conflicts or control the observance of discipline - everything is decided by circumstances and rivals actively laying claim to power.
Under no circumstances should you press on such a boss, pestering her with requests. All responsibility lies entirely with you, and it’s up to you to decide. In principle, you don’t have to do anything special at all, except to constantly pretend to be vigorously active. At least the psychological climate will not suffer from this. In the best case, you will quickly get promoted (if you are not too active), in the worst case, she will get promoted. The main thing is not to become a victim of the intrigues weaving around in a women's team. Therefore, at all costs, refrain from participating in conspiracies and other actions inspired by particularly active employees.
Secretary. Very important person. It largely determines how deeply the infection of intrigue can strike a team. If the secretary is a young, self-confident girl who makes five spelling mistakes in one line and repeats on the phone: “They’re calling you...”, it’s not so difficult to navigate. She does not have enough education, intelligence, or ingenuity for sophisticated cunning and intrigue. Communicating with her requires a lot of patience and courage. Try not to show irritation even in response to outright nonsense, the streams of which fall on you from time to time. Otherwise, she may be offended, and then you will have to deal with management, since this “funny girl” is most likely the daughter or granddaughter of one of the presidents of the company.
If the secretary is a bright representative of the tribe of Soviet-style personnel workers, a kind of evil fury who copes with her duties excellently, then it is better to stay away from her altogether. As a rule, she considers it her duty to collect incriminating evidence on all employees. Suspicious and distrustful, she can see crime even in the expression of your face, regardless of whether you are serious or smiling. You should treat her with perfect politeness and call her by her first name and patronymic, while maintaining a distance - better than three or four meters.
The most dangerous type of secretary is the sympathetic gossip, who has a natural tendency to weave secret networks. She is friendly, caring, always asks about family and personal problems and tries to establish a tone of trust. But be careful! Your frankness the next day may well result, if not in dismissal, then in a significant deterioration in relations with your colleagues. And all the details of your personal life - with some distortions, of course - will become the property of the entire female team. Be friendly with her, but only talk about neutral topics. No information about yourself or anyone else.
Any company is sure to have its own “bad guys”, “bugs” and “grumblers”. They can hold positions from director to accountant and even cleaner. There is no need to be afraid of them (after all, that’s all they are counting on), quarreling with them is harmful, at least for health, and convincing them is useless. Be as neutral as possible with them, talk less, do more. It’s better to repeat 20 times in a calm and friendly tone: “This needs to be signed” or “This needs to be done for further work” than to indulge in explanations and debates. And another weapon is modesty and shyness. As a rule, they have no arguments against this.
One of the main topics discussed in the women's group is appearance and clothing. It is extremely important to maintain the right tone here. You should not attract undue attention to yourself with expensive clothes and accessories. The office is not a place for a fashion show. But you shouldn’t go to the other extreme either. Therefore, it is better to donate your worn-out suit, tights with snags and jeans with stretched knees to the benefit of the poor.
A favorite plot and at the same time a reason for a woman’s envy is love affairs. If everything is going well for you on this front, stories about happy moments in the arms of a partner can cause an unpredictable reaction among colleagues who are deprived of male attention. Therefore, you should not present your colleagues with the details of your dizzying romance with Superman or pictures of family happiness with a caring and devoted husband. Try to spare the feelings of those who are not as lucky in life as you.
A very dangerous, but quite common theme in women’s groups is “whose side are you on” and “who are we friends against?” If they are trying to provoke or confuse you, or force you into a role that you do not want to play, clarify the details and circumstances. Those who are forewarned are forearmed. And most importantly, stay away from any intrigues.
The appearance of a man in a women's group is also dangerous - this can become a serious cause for contention. Although sometimes the presence of individual representatives of the stronger sex only benefits ladies who are bored in their close and stuffy community. If, for example, a man is gallant and attentive, while keeping his distance and not showing preference to anyone, he will perfectly refresh the work atmosphere. But this is an almost unreal character.
A man who finds himself in a “flower garden” either tries to stay away, sadly hoping for a fellow soldier to appear, or, wittingly or unwittingly, begins to behave like a ladies’ man. Feeling his full demand, he flirts alternately with all capable ladies. If he is unmarried and outwardly attractive, serious passions flare up around him.
The employee who single-handedly captured his attention has a hard time. They begin to ostracize her, an unimaginable number of “blunders” are found in her work, and the manager may well fire her due to incompetence. Therefore, make it a rule that such men do not exist for you.
But even if you dare to have an affair at work, surrounded by “ardent well-wishers,” be prepared to courageously endure numerous naggings and attacks. After all, envy and jealousy are extremely difficult to hide and contain. And these feelings are the most fertile environment for the development of intrigue and squabbles. Therefore, even if you were “chosen” to play the role of your beloved girl in front of your own female team, move the main scenes behind the scenes. It’s nice, of course, to wipe their noses with them all, but peace and tranquility within the walls of the office where you spend most of your life are worth a lot.
Men's team. How to work successfully in a male team
If all your life you have dreamed of being the only rose among the thistles and counting on every minute attention, care and support, then in vain. Typically, working in a male company is comparable to military operations, overcoming an obstacle course or climbing a tall mountain. Get ready for the fact that in addition to your main responsibilities, you will have one more concern - survival in a tough and harsh environment, with its own rules, pace and specific relationships.
It should be taken into account that men in the service, especially when there are many of them, are not at all the same as men after work. For some reason, women are accustomed to believing that a real man is necessarily a gallant knight who must take care of the lady in every possible way, knowing that she is a weak creature, and protect her from all the troubles and misfortunes that await her in the service. The reality will most likely be different. Having decided to join the men's team as a full-fledged employee, a specialist, in the eyes of your male colleagues you cease to be a weak creature, you become, like everyone else, a team player who will be subject to the same strict requirements as everyone else. These are the conditions of the game you are about to play.
You will not be forgiven for your mistakes and failures just because you are a woman. At work, you are the same employee, specialist, professional, like all those who work with you. A woman who does not understand and accept this simple situation will lose. To prevent this from happening, try to understand the psychology of working in a male team.
First of all, this is a tough competition in which the weak are not spared. By demanding special treatment, you risk receiving an irritable, rude reaction from your colleagues. Don't provoke them to do this. The optimal course of action is to show your professional abilities, become a colleague and a strong player. The ability to demonstrate your success and take special poses is an important gaming skill. Would you say that this behavior is similar to bragging and dishonesty? But for men this is a completely normal communication style. They love to show off.
Therefore, when you are just applying for a job in a men’s team, at the interview do not under any circumstances say that your goals and interests are good relationships in the team, corporate events, etc. Only work, profit, results!
Don't expect your colleagues to appreciate your talents and competence. It is up to you to convince them of your skill. Demonstrate your competence and act confidently. Before you say “I can’t do this,” think about your achievements. After all, you have coped with a variety of things so many times! If, in response to a new proposal or assignment, you do not ask confusedly: “How is this done?”, but cheerfully report: “No problem!” — you have a chance to quickly gain a reputation as an energetic and promising employee.
Don't expose yourself! If you want to appear competent, mention your mistakes less often. To do this, you don’t have to lie or dodge, you just shouldn’t demonstrate your mistakes in public. By the way, you will have to forget about the habit of apologizing with or without reason. This is not very polite, but... men consider excessive apologies as “advertising their mistakes.”
Working women often have to make a choice between home and career. Men, as a rule, do not like to overwork, but they do not suffer from it as much as women. This is understandable, because caring wives are waiting for them at home with a hot dinner and clean, ironed shirts. Waiting for you at home is a stove and an iron, hungry children and a husband who, without you, cannot even butter a sandwich for themselves. To make a career in a company where working hours are not set, you will have to work long hours. This means you will have to choose between work and home responsibilities. In such a situation, men usually reduce their time at home, and women - their working time. If you are not satisfied with these rules of the game, look for another job.
Another difficulty is that women often do not know how to maintain contacts with business partners or clients. How do you feel about inviting a bore from a subsidiary company to the tennis court just because he is in charge of signing a contract? What do you think about dinner with the “right people”? The prospect of such a drink is quite a severe test. In general, it is much more difficult for women than for men to withstand communication with unsympathetic people. But if your company tends to spend extra effort to attract clients, you will have to come to terms with it. Or create a niche for yourself that no one but you can fill.
What style of clothing to choose for working in a men's team?
It is better to choose the style of work clothes business, no extravagant outfits, expensive or provocative jewelry. If your outfit can really attract everyone's attention when you first appear at work, it still won't last forever, even if you start changing dresses several times during the working day. Men are passionate about work, they will not pay attention to such trifles, gradually adapting to the variety of your outfits. Therefore, there should be no pretentious, extravagant and exclusive dresses at work. A lady in a long evening dress or, conversely, an ultra-short skirt looks quite strange against the background of men in business suits. Try to change your wardrobe so that your outfit necessarily includes some separate elements of men's clothing - a jacket, trousers, a vest. A business style appropriate for the office and being like men in small things will serve you well. For example, a tie in the consciousness and even the subconscious of a man is a phallic symbol. And if you're not ready to wear a man's tie, a neckerchief is its equivalent, a symbol of your business equality.
In an effort to establish herself in a male team, a woman can sometimes believe that she will be able to achieve her goal using typically feminine means. She flirts a little, rolls her eyes, and all her colleagues will certainly rush to court her and, perhaps, offer her hand and heart. This probably happens, but much more often it turns out quite the opposite.
Don't think that men don't have gray matter between their ears. Already on the first day of your enlistment, they discussed all your merits. But showing signs of attention at work from men, especially if it is more than one person, should be considered by an intelligent woman as a provocation or a test. Men are cautious by nature. If there is something to notice, they have already noticed it. Now they are studying. Therefore, to begin with, it is worth paying more attention not to searching for admirers, but to acquiring knowledge in your specialty. Even the most malicious colleagues always respect professionals in their field, regardless of whether they are women or men. So you will still have a chance to achieve admiration.
Now learn to be friends with men. Take your time to accept signs of attention. Get into the work. Don't be afraid of men: it annoys them. Men at work are aimed at achieving a set goal, task, so they are much more concerned about what a lady is like as a specialist, how useful she will be in her work.
If they start openly flirting with you, calling you by diminutive names, “baby”, “baby”, do not even think about making a scandal, this will only encourage your familiar colleague. It is better to express condescending surprise. It’s better for him to look like an ill-mannered child than for you to look like an offended girl.
The same applies to some humiliating assignments. For example, when you are the only woman among male colleagues and you are the one who is certainly asked to make tea or make coffee. Of course, they show you “who’s boss.”
Alas, a sharp refusal is usually ineffective. It's better to take control of the situation. For example, offer coffee yourself before you are asked to bring it.
Then it will look like just a courtesy from you.
So give up coquetry, flirting, and prohibited tricks. God forbid you flirt with the boss! You will automatically become everyone's enemy. So much has been written about office romances that it is pointless to exaggerate this topic; one should only add that if the situation in the team becomes tense, then most often the woman is fired.
There is another extreme to which ladies go when trying to win a worthy place in a male team. For some reason, they believe that they will achieve career growth if they immediately forget that they are women and quickly turn into tough, masculine businesswomen. Such women strive to adopt the style and demeanor, toughness in communication from their male colleagues. They even change in appearance: short hair, men's suits, strong cigarettes, men's style of communication. However, despite all the efforts, the lady will still not be able to completely fit in in a purely male team.
No matter how strange it may sound, men feel falsehood subconsciously. They understand that this behavior is largely feigned, unnatural, and not typical for a woman, so they will avoid her. Meanwhile, trying to become a man in a skirt takes a huge amount of energy. Retribution comes later in the form of early aging, frayed nerves, and loneliness. Therefore, this path is unproductive. Don't forget that you are still a woman. This means that he is softer, more tolerant, and more equal in communication than a man. With your charm you are able to withstand the tough world of male aggressiveness.
But no matter how hard you try, you shouldn’t expect to easily find a common language with male colleagues, much less make loyal friends at work. Work is not the place to look for friends. For men, their work is a place where they can assert themselves and realize themselves as specialists and professionals. This is a territory of competition, sometimes fierce, for the opportunity to move up the career ladder. Therefore, at work, relationships are formed rather at the level of correct professional interaction between all team members, but do not become sincerely friendly. One can hardly speak of such an alliance as a true friendship. You should not expect that as soon as you sincerely tell your colleague about all your problems in a conversation and begin to sympathetically ask about his affairs, he will immediately become your devoted friend. Men don't strive for friendship at work. They are especially frightened by the emotional expression of feelings that is characteristic of women. Men try not to show their emotions so clearly.
If a lady constantly and very vigorously demonstrates her joy or sadness, the male part of the team will simply consider her hysterical, and therefore, learn to control your emotions, do not confuse your interlocutor with your own problems with your family, health, or children. The man will perceive your revelation as a request for help.
For the same reasons, forget about despondency and complaints. Male colleagues get angry when they see us whining and complaining about life. After all, it is on such an occasion that you can meet your beloved friend, into whose vest it is so sweet to cry.
Don’t try to get into a man’s soul yourself. Men, as a rule, do not like excessive attention to their own personal lives; they also do not like constant discussion of the behavior and personal qualities of their work colleagues.
Don't get carried away with this. But a man will definitely appreciate your ability to lend a shoulder, tactfully and silently.
Hide your emotions, even when faced with outright rudeness from one of your colleagues. Many women believe that if they raise their voices or simply yell at them, they cannot remain silent. The offender should respond in kind or simply burst into tears, trying to make him feel remorse. This will probably cause the expected reaction in someone, but it may turn out that neither scream nor tears will stop your enemy. It’s just that once again everyone around you will be convinced of your weakness, that you cannot be considered as a full-fledged player in the men’s team.
Do not under any circumstances show your opponent that he has got you, even if this is really the case. No one should ever see you cry! It is very important in such a situation to maintain composure and not allow yourself to be drawn into a meaningless scandal.
Restrain yourself, answer in an emphatically correct tone. This will cool down your opponent's aggressiveness. Speak quietly, this will force your offender to turn down the volume. Take pauses between phrases, this will give you time to think and feel your state at the moment. In any controversial situation, a person who controls his emotions looks more dignified. Sometimes rudeness is a provocation, a desire to “show your place.” Often tough-looking men cannot withstand pressure or do not know how to take a blow. The advantage of being a woman is that you are not expected to be courageous or resilient.
Psychologists have noticed one feature of female psychology: if men quickly move away after a big conversation, forgetting about the quarrel, then women, on the contrary, are able to mentally return to an unpleasant episode again and again, replaying it in their heads and continuing to be angry. This is a dead end path. Resentment only wastes nerve cells. Don’t accumulate anger, don’t be vindictive - this primarily harms you.
Surely you are familiar with the expression: “Listen to a woman and do the opposite.” It is clear that only a man could come up with this, so draw your own conclusions, especially if you are trying to get along in a male team. The conclusion is simple: men are extremely sensitive to all advice coming from women. They just don't like them. Men perceive your advice as criticism, as a statement of their professional failure. By the way, for most men there is only one woman who has the right to dictate to them - their mother.
Advice is especially annoying when someone very generously shares it with everyone. Hence such an extremely hostile attitude towards an unsolicited adviser. In order not to be counted among such people, try not to criticize anyone, not to advise anyone, and if you express your opinion, then only when you are asked to do so. No matter what they say, people don’t like criticism, no matter who it comes from. On the contrary, a friendly assessment, praise, or compliment is significant psychological support for any representative of the stronger sex. Having received it from you, he will soon seek advice himself.
There are so many problems and difficulties that await a woman in a male team that a strong conviction may arise: a woman simply cannot exist normally in this male world. It's not like that at all. Your colleagues hope that you will strengthen their team with your knowledge and skills, that you
you will be proactive and persistent in achieving common goals, you will not overly annoy them with your complexes and, of course, you will recognize their genius.
Mixed team
This is the most common option. But the pitfalls here may be the following: men will begin to show attention to you, especially if you are new, because of the boring atmosphere and for the sake of variety, and women will sharpen their teeth on you for this. Therefore, it is better not to flirt with men, not to rush into proposals, and not to quarrel with women and build “bridges of love and friendship.” But after the female half likes you and gets comfortable in general, you can behave the way you like, now no one is forcing you to be a taciturn nun who shies away from male society. It’s just that if you don’t immediately make wide eyes and a sweet smile in response to any man’s compliment and dine with everyone in turn, both men and women will respect you equally.