Funny and ridiculous stories about online dating

Virtual dating is like Russian roulette. Sometimes it shoots an amorous arrow into the heart, sometimes... into some other places that were not at all prepared for such turns!

Wasteful spending

I received a letter from a friend, described as a physicist-lyricist, candidate of sciences. He offered to meet immediately. I worked at the center and asked him to come to the Griboyedov Canal. A friend arrives in worn out sneakers and with a tattered backpack, five minutes before he is homeless. And he immediately asks: “To you or to me?” I say, somehow it’s too early right away... Having clarified that there will be no sex right now, he changes his face and angrily says: “I shouldn’t have bought the token!”, turns around and leaves...

The zodiac doesn't tell

Agreed to meet. In the morning everything was still in force, he called and promised to come over, but closer to the appointed hour he called again - and announced that he had calculated the horoscope and found that this day was undesirable for meetings with women of my sign. I think I got away with it. But after that he did not disappear! He called several more times, said that he had drawn up some plans and read out the forecasts to me... I was surprised that they did not come true.

Collecting power

One of them, after some period of correspondence, told me that by communicating on the site, he collects sexual energy, which he then turns into brilliant works of art. At the same time, he insistently called for nature. Either he loves bushes, or he was just planning to paint landscapes.

creative valentine

He seemed to be a normal boy, he wrote competently, spoke beautifully, looked good in the photos... In short, we agreed to meet on Valentine's Day. So he gave me a Valentine’s card, which was attached to bottles of some wine! As a result, I ran home under the balconies, got into the mud and ruined my new suede boots.

Pointed question

One friend from a dating site, coming on a date, immediately asked what was needed for intimacy. I’ll remember verbatim in a minute... “What needs to be done to make you want it right away?” I fell. Well, obviously not what you just did :)

I love to eat

I registered on the first dating site in my life. I had to write something about myself in English. I was completely unfamiliar with the Internet at that time. I asked my daughter to write about me. "What exactly?" - I answer: “The truth.” Well, she wrote, I didn’t check, the letters came out like a bunch. Everyone is so strange: they write that they cook very well, that they have a housekeeper at home... I think that’s all. Then I was smart enough to translate my profile. And it says: I’m lazy, I love to eat and have a comfortable life. The little girl got hit in the head for that. And she told me: “Mommy, just look how many people want to feed you!”

Genius loci

My friend, a good, pretty girl, after graduating from university, went to her small town in the Pskov region. We registered it on “loveplanet”. They wrote the whole truth, included a real photo, indicated the city and all that. In a couple of months, only one married man wrote to her; he happens to be in this city on business trips... Just for fun, we changed the place of residence in the questionnaire. Posted by Finland, Tampere. The photo was left the same. And then off we go! They inundated her with compliments and suggestions, writing from all over the territory of the former USSR. As a result, she successfully married... to a work colleague.

Instead of a photo

I’m sitting at work, I have nothing to do, I’m quietly texting on ICQ. Someone new is knocking. Let's start communicating. I decided to find out more about my interlocutor - and I found out that he was a colleague. And he didn't even guess. At work he was uncommunicative and gloomy, but here he comes out saying, Mom, don’t worry. At the end of the working day he writes: “You are such an interesting conversationalist, I want to see what you look like. Throw your photo". And I told him: “Why throw it off... Turn your head to the right!” He turns his head, and I wave my hand to him, like the Secretary General from the Mausoleum...

Special signs

At the first meeting after correspondence, we agreed to meet the girl at the shopping center. I call her: they say, I’ve arrived, a black Peugeot 207, I’m waiting. She gets out, walks past my car... And elegantly gets into a silver Nissan! And he has a license plate with the numbers 207... He ran to rescue him from captivity. The man in the Nissan was completely speechless and didn’t utter a word.

Phantom Vladimir

We correspond, call each other and in the process decide that it is simply vital to meet. At the same time, we are added to Odnoklassniki and so on... And a day later, Vladimir is removed from all social pages and blacklisted the number! I bought myself a new dress, but he disappeared... What kind of terrible thing did I have to say? I’m still thinking... Well, the dress suits me perfectly!

Attraction of poor students

I’m sitting on the site upset, my mood is at zero, then a message comes: “Hello! Tell me, how can I get to know you better in order to verify the similarity of our magnetic poles?” I’m so angry, and also some kind of show-off with my poles... I write: “I can immediately say: they are DIFFERENT!” All irritated, I turn off the laptop, and then it dawns on me: different poles ATTRACT! I turn back on, and then we simultaneously write: “Oh, damn it, different people attract.” We've been together ever since. Sometimes it’s useful to forget school physics...

Oops that's not for you

I have a hectic correspondence with MCH, and at the same time I share with my friend. And we’ve known each other since kindergarten, and we’re used to discussing guys... Mmm, let’s just say, very straightforwardly and with humor. And by chance a message for a friend in the appropriate style is sent to this MCH. Poor fellow! Somehow he didn’t appreciate my revelations and disappeared from the radar instantly.

My fish

The first and last time I agreed to meet after correspondence. The appointed time was up, I was frozen - he was gone... After 15 minutes, I turned around and left. He calls: “Where are you, where are you going?” Me: “Where have you been?” He: “Oh, I was late, I was releasing a fish from a jar into the Don. She spent the winter with me...” Curtain.

Entertaining ornithology

All evening this miracle fed me some sayings on the topic of male viability. The most memorable thing: he compared men - attention! - with roosters. “A man, like a rooster, must show his worth” and something further about rooster tails and posture... In general, the entertaining ornithological excursion lasted two hours, during which only he spoke. On the way, he complimented me, saying that I had a very interesting jaw. There should be a facepalm here. I headed to the elevator...

What's wrong with his face?

Everything was going fine, and then at some point he said in the correspondence: “You know, women look at my face and decide not to get involved with me...” I got scared. I thought of something for myself right away. And so timidly I wonder what’s wrong with his face. Preparing for some sad story... And he replies: “Well, I’m handsome!”

I counted and shed a tear

We met, a handsome guy, all so packed, generous - cafes, restaurants. And then two months later he said: you know, I figured it out and calculated it - our relationship is costing me too much, I decided to take out a mortgage, excuse me.

Away for a surprise

I went to my first date in heels. And he told me so mysteriously, with a sparkle in his eyes: “I have prepared a surprise for you, you just need to walk a little.” Well, for the sake of a surprise, you can take a walk. As a result, we walked for almost an hour and a half to some shabby little shop. He sat me on a bench to wait, came out, said: “Close your eyes,” and put Rafaelka in my mouth. I ate it, waiting to see where the surprise is. But it turned out that it was him. Because once in a correspondence I mentioned that I had never eaten these candies. So, in principle, I don’t like sweets! And he decided to overwhelm me with the breadth of his soul. And we walked so far because his friend worked there; out of pity, she periodically lent him food.

Product replacement

In correspondence he was simply sweet and witty, but at a meeting he froze and mumbled. In the end, he admitted that it was not he who wrote, but his girlfriend, a lesbian...

The normal ones ran away

We agreed at 18.00 in a cafe. I was 10 minutes late, and at 18.05 I received a message: “You showed disrespect for me by being late. Normal women come early and wait for me!” And about a month later he wrote that he was “ready to give me another chance.” Apparently, the stern dude never came across any “normal” ones...

Let's talk about the concepts

I’m coming on a date... And there’s a real gopnik with a bottle of beer and two plastic cups! Gentleman, damn it. I don’t know what came over me, but... I looked at him - and we crushed his beer on the bench for sunflower seeds and talked about life. It didn't come down to love, of course. But when you’re bored, you have someone to drink beer with in a sports bar!

Sweetened the pill

One guy in a nice car drove me around the city for half an evening and told me something tediously about his life. I could see that he didn’t like me, but he stubbornly refused to say goodbye to me. When this miracle happened, as a farewell, he directly thrust a jar of honey into my hands. He said it was from his apiary. What was it?

Birch romance

A friend came to the meeting. The guy picked a twig from a birch tree, handed it to her and said: Congratulations on the spring holiday! Then he offered to take a ride... on a regular bus.

Will you be Lenka?

We corresponded normally, and when we met, the first thing he did was take an appraising look at my figure and say: “Lenka’s butt is like Lenka’s, only Lenka is a little taller.” Afterwards he suggested we meet, and really wondered why I didn’t want to. Lenka, as he said, for some reason didn’t want him either...

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Did you fall and get splashed with water? The cat peed in your shoes, did you buy expired milk? Don't be upset and don't consider yourself the loser of the decade, because history knows more ridiculous cases of bad luck.

1. JK Rowling Rejected


12 publishers rejected the Harry Potter manuscript before Bloomsbury finally agreed to publish the immortal tale of the boy who lived. This magic happened thanks to the advice of the eight-year-old daughter of the publishing house manager, Alice. The books were eventually translated into 60 languages, and Rowling earned about $1 billion.

2. Discarded Bitcoin Securities Folder


James Howell bought 7,500 bitcoins in 2009, when their value was almost zero. By 2013, one Bitcoin was worth £613. Howells' securities are therefore worth £4.5 million. The only problem was that Howells left his data driver in a drawer and forgot about it, and then threw it away with unnecessary papers. After realizing the terrible thing, he tried to find the driver, but was told that it was already in a general dump and could be anywhere.

3. Missed Google purchase for $1 million


Google owners Larry Page and Sergey Brin entered into negotiations with Excite founder George Bell in 1999 because they wanted to sell the search engine for $1 million. Bell was willing to pay no more than $750,000. Well, today Google is valued at $365 billion. Oops.

4. Hitler's botched assassination


In 1914, British soldier Henry Tandy, who had the most medals among the rank and file during World War I, walked past an unarmed and wounded Adolf Hitler lying in a ditch, but decided not to finish him off.

5. Selling 610,000 shares instead of one


In 2005, a Japanese stock exchange employee valued his company at £190 million after a trading error in which he sold 610,000 shares at 1 yen (50 pence) instead of selling one share for 610,000 yen, as he ordered. The exchange rejected the company's requests to cancel the sale, so the company was forced to buy back its own shares.

6. Angry Genghis Khan


The first great khan of the Mongol Empire, Genghis Khan, tried to establish diplomatic and trade ties with Ala ad-Din Muhammad, the Shah of the neighboring State of the Kharezmshahs (the territory of modern Iraq and Iran) in the 13th century. However, after all of Genghis Khan's proposals were rejected and the Mongol diplomat was beheaded, Genghis Khan reacted violently to this form of refusal and sent 200,000 warriors to destroy the state.

7. Job denial to Brian Acton and Jan Koum


Facebook rejected programmers Brian Acton and Jan Koum when they were interviewed in 2009. A few years later, Facebook bought their WhatsApp project pf $19 billion from the rejected programmers.

8. Ordering trains that are too wide


French State Railways spent $16 billion on a new set of trains. Unfortunately, the trains were too wide for the more than 1,300 platforms at stations across the country. Fixing the problem costs another $50 million. It's almost like buying a car and not checking whether it fits in your garage.

9. Contract with Brian Poole and The Tremeloes


In 1962, the Decca recording studio was looking for new bands and new artists to sign to the label. They auditioned two bands at their London studios and signed Brian Poole and The Tremeloes. Do you know which group they turned down? The Liverpool quartet who would later become famous as The Beatles.

10. Error in company name


The British government was sued for $9 million in damages after a bureaucratic error resulted in an extra letter being written in the company's name and the company was mistakenly liquidated. More than 250 people were left without jobs when Taylor and Son was mistaken for Taylor and Sons, which went bankrupt in 2009.

Menes, founder of the First Dynasty of Ancient Egypt, who lived approximately in the 31st century BC. According to legend, he died while hunting hippos. At that time it was one of the favorite entertainments of the pharaohs. The enraged hippopotamus attacked the ruler, dragged him into the water and inflicted serious injuries. Menes died from his injuries.

Dracon, ancient Greek legislator of the 7th century BC. According to legend, in the Aegina theater, according to tradition, he, as a respected person, was thrown with hats and capes, after which he suffocated under their weight.

Perilaus, ancient Greek sculptor of the mid-6th century BC. According to Diodorus Siculus, he proposed to the cruel tyrant Agrigentus Phalaris an invention “for the execution of his compatriots” - a copper bull in which the condemned person was roasted alive. Perilaus became the first victim of his creation. When he asked for payment for the work, Phalarids ordered him to be roasted in a bull.

Arrichion from Phigalia, ancient Greek athlete. During the pankration competition in the finals of the Olympic Games in 564 BC, he twisted his big toe while trying to escape the strangling grip of his opponent. He gave up due to severe pain. However, Arrachion had already suffocated by this time. He was posthumously recognized as the winner of the fight, and his body was crowned with a wreath to the applause of the audience.

Cambyses II, Persian king from the Achaemenid dynasty. In 522 BC, having learned of the rebellion in Babylon, he began to gather the remaining loyal troops. According to Herodotus, when the king mounted his horse, the tip of the sword sheath fell off and the blade cut his thigh. The wound became infected and three weeks later Cambyses II died of gangrene. According to Ctesias of Knidos, the cause of the injury was different - the Persian king, for fun, was whittling a branch with a knife and unsuccessfully injured his hamstring.

Aeschylus, ancient Greek playwright. He died in 456 BC in the Sicilian city of Gela. According to the legend retold by Valery Maxim and Pliny the Elder, Aeschylus died when an eagle dropped a turtle on his head, mistaking the playwright’s bald head for a stone, or a stone, mistaking the bald head for an egg.

Philetus of Kos, ancient Greek scientist and poet. Died around 285 BC. At the end of his life, he was completely absorbed in the study of the paradox of the liar of the Megarian school of philosophy. The scientist became so carried away by this that he died from malnutrition and insomnia.

Qin Shi Huang, Chinese Emperor. He died on September 10, 210 BC in his palace in Shaqiu. The cause of death was the elixir of immortality pills containing mercury, which the emperor took in the hope of gaining eternal life.

Chrysippus of Sol, ancient Greek Stoic philosopher. The exact date of death is unknown. Presumably 208/204 BC. According to one version, he died from uncontrollable laughter while watching a drunken donkey eating figs.

Flavius ​​Zeno, Byzantine emperor. Died on April 9, 491. According to the official version, the cause of death was an epileptic seizure. According to a later hypothesis, Zeno, being heavily intoxicated, was passed off as a dead man and buried alive. When he woke up and began to scream, the soldiers involved in the burial reported this to his wife, Empress Ariadne. However, she deliberately did not rush to open the coffin and Zeno managed to suffocate.

Amalasuntha, Queen of the Ostrogoths. She was deposed by her cousin Theodahad and exiled to the island of Martana on Lake Bolsena. In the spring of 535, with the knowledge of the new ruler, the relatives of the three Goths who had previously been executed by order of the queen decided to take revenge on her. They lit a bathhouse, invited Amalasunta and locked him there. The queen died from the hot steam.

Constans II, Byzantine Emperor. Died on September 15, 668 at his residence in Syracuse. When the emperor was soaping his hair while bathing, one of the courtiers hit him on the head with a gang and then disappeared. The stunned Constant II slid into the water and choked.

Li Bo, Chinese poet of the Tang Dynasty. Died in 762. Being very drunk, he rode a boat on the Yangtze River at night. Seeing the reflection of the moon in the water, Li Bo tried to catch it and drowned.

Basil I of Macedon, Byzantine emperor. According to one version, a deer picked him up with an antler while hunting and, hooking him in his belt, dragged him through the forest for a long time until one of the bodyguards caught up with the basileus and cut the belt with a sword. Having come to his senses, the emperor ordered the execution of the warrior, suspecting him of attempting to murder. He himself received fatal bruises during this accident. Vasily I died a few days later, on August 29, 886.

Sigurd Eysteinsson, second Earl of Orkney. Died around 892. Having won a battle with the Scottish leader Mael Brigte, he cut off the head of the enemy leader and tied it to his saddle. The trophy was loosely secured. On the way back, the head swung from side to side and Brigte's teeth severely scratched Eysteinsson's leg. The wound became infected, from which the earl died a few days later.

Oleg the Prophet, Grand Duke of Kyiv. According to the textbook story from The Tale of Bygone Years, the Magi predicted his death from his beloved horse. The prince, deciding to change his future, stopped riding it. In 912, Oleg learned that his horse had died and came to look at the bones. At that moment, a poisonous snake crawled out of the horse’s skull and bit the prince. Soon Oleg died.

John XII, Pope. The last pontiff of the period of pornocracy. Liutprand of Cremona wrote that the pope constantly indulged in debauchery and turned the Lateran Palace into a brothel. He came into conflict with the ruler of the Holy Roman Empire, Otto I, and was deposed by him, but then regained his power. John XII died on May 14, 964. According to one version, he died from a stroke during sexual intercourse with a married woman, according to another, he received a fatal blow to the head from her jealous husband, who found dad in his marital bed.

Edmund II Ironside, English king. Died November 30, 1016. According to the historian Henry of Huntingdon, the king went to the restroom at night and, when he sat down over the latrine, one of the courtiers, hiding in the cesspool, stabbed him twice in the anus with a dagger and ran away. Edmund II died from his wounds. According to Gaimar, the murder weapon was a bolt from a crossbow, which was installed in the cesspool and was triggered when the monarch sat down on the seat.

Béla I, Hungarian king. When he was on his estate Dömös, the throne collapsed under him and the monarch was crushed under a massive canopy. Bela, in serious condition, was pulled out from under the ruins and transported to the western borders of Hungary. Here, near the Kinisha stream, he died on September 11, 1063.

William I the Conqueror, King of England. By the end of his life, he had become very fat and without outside help the king could not put on his shoes or climb into the saddle. At this time, Franco-Norman rivalry intensified. The troops of King Philip I ravaged the County of Evreux. In addition, the French monarch publicly joked about the weight of William I, saying that the English king would soon give birth. He responded by undertaking a punitive campaign, besieging and burning Mant. When William I was riding through the ruins of the city, his horse accidentally stepped on burning coals, overturned in pain and fell along with its rider. When it fell, the horn of the saddle injured the king's stomach. The wound festered and inflammation began. After suffering from severe pain for several weeks, William I died of peritonitis on September 9, 1087 in the monastery of Saint-Gervais near Rouen. The courtiers and servants threw the still warm corpse of the monarch from his deathbed, and then took out all the valuables in the cell. During the funeral, it turned out that the king's body did not fit in the grave. Attempts to fit him in resulted in the deceased’s stomach bursting, splashing those present at the burial with blood and pus. Even incense could not drown out the strong stench.

Philip the Young, King of France. When he and a group of comrades were riding along the Seine through a Parisian market, his horse tripped over a black pig that had jumped out of a pile of excrement and fell forward, throwing the monarch out of the saddle over his head. A day later, on October 13, 1131, Philip the Young died from numerous fractures.

Henry I Beauclerc, English king. After a successful hunt, he decided, against the advice of his doctor, to eat a plate of lampreys, which he loved very much. The seafood caused poisoning, the king fell ill and died on December 1, 1135.

Adrian IV, Pope. In the last months of his life, he suffered greatly from purulent tonsillitis, which led to inflammation in the mouth and throat. On September 1, 1159, the pope took a sip of wine from a glass into which a fly fell. Adrian IV choked. A foreign body combined with pus tightly blocked his throat. A few minutes later the pontiff suffocated.

Frederick I Barbarossa, Holy Roman Emperor. On June 10, 1190, during the Third Crusade, he died while crossing the mountain river Selif. The emperor, dressed in heavy armor and chain mail, fell from his horse into the water, was caught by a stormy current and choked before his warriors came to his aid.

Henry II of Champagne, Count of Champagne and King of Jerusalem. On September 10, 1197, while in his palace in Acre, he leaned against the window bars, which, unable to bear his weight, fell through. Henry II lost his balance and fell to the ground. His servant, trying to save the king, fell out with him and collapsed on top of his master. Henry II died instantly. The servant died a few days later from his injuries. There is an opinion that the king could have survived if another person had not landed on top.

John XXI, Pope. He was engaged in medical research. Some of his medical writings were popular in medieval Europe. For his scientific work, he added a new room to the papal palace in Viterbo. One day, while he was in this building, the roof collapsed. Dad was pulled out from under the ruins in serious condition. A few days later, on May 20, 1277, John XXI died.

Humphrey VIII de Bohun, 4th Earl of Hereford, 3rd Earl of Essex and High Constable of England. Being in opposition to King Edward II, he joined the action of the feudal nobility, which was called the “rebellion of dissenters.” On March 16, 1322, rebel troops met with the government army near the town of Boroughbridge in Yorkshire. During the battle, Humphrey VIII led a rebel attack on a wooden bridge over the River Ur. At first the offensive was successful. However, then a royal soldier hiding under the bridge hit the count with a spear through a gap in the boards. The weapon entered the body through the anus, causing fatal injuries. Humphrey VIII's cries of agony were so loud that they unnerved the rebel army, forcing them to retreat.

Edward II, English king. Under pressure from parliament, he abdicated the throne in favor of his son. The former monarch was imprisoned at Berkeley Castle in Gloucestershire. Edward II died in custody on September 21, 1327. According to one of the most common versions, the jailers stuck a red-hot poker into his anus, after which the king died from painful shock and damage to internal organs. However, there is an opinion that this plot is an invention of the contemporaries of Edward II, who pursued the goal of discrediting the deposed monarch in connection with his possible homosexuality.

Charles II the Evil, King of Navarre. At the end of his life he became very ill and weakened to such an extent that he could not move. The doctor recommended wrapping him from head to toe in linen cloth soaked in brandy. On January 1, 1387, when the king's maid was doing this procedure, she noticed a thread sticking out. Instead of cutting it with scissors, she used a candle. The fire instantly ignited the alcohol-soaked fabric and Charles II burned alive.

Martin I, King of Aragon, Valencia, Sardinia, Corsica and Sicily, Count of Barcelona. On May 31, 1410, at dinner, after a hearty meal, the monarch asked his jester where he had been. He replied: “I was in a vineyard, there was a deer hanging from a tree by its tail, as if he had been punished for stealing figs.” Martin I was so amused by this joke that he died of asphyxia caused by uncontrollable laughter.

Vasily II the Dark, Grand Duke of Moscow. At the end of his life he suffered from the “dry disease” - tuberculosis. The Grand Duke ordered to treat himself in the usual way at that time: to light tinder several times on different parts of the body. But this did not help, the patient became even worse. Gangrene developed in places of numerous burns and on March 27, 1462, Vasily II died.

George Plantagenet, 1st Duke of Clarence. Accused of plotting against King Edward IV, he was executed in the Tower on February 18, 1478. According to legend, George Plantagenet chose to die by drowning in a barrel of sweet wine - malvasia. But it is possible that this legend is based on a joke, since the Duke was a big drinker of alcohol.

Charles VIII, King of France. Died on April 7, 1498 in Amboise. Entering a door that was too low, he hit his head on the ceiling, suffered a concussion and fell into a coma. A few hours later the king was gone.

Alexander VI Borgia, Pope. He was one of the darkest figures in the history of the Vatican. Died 18 August 1503. According to one version, the pope accidentally drank poisoned wine, which his son Cesare prepared to kill Cardinal Corneto. According to another opinion, the cause of the death of Alexander VI was an apple soaked in poison. He prepared it, wanting to eliminate his son, but mistakenly ate it himself.

Dmitry Ivanovich, Russian prince, first son of Ivan IV the Terrible. At the age of 8 months, his parents took him on a pilgrimage to the Kirillo-Belozersky Monastery. On the way back, on June 4, 1553, the prince died. According to one version, when Ivan IV with his wife and son, accompanied by relatives and servants, was descending the gangplank from the plow on the Sheksna River, the boards turned over. The entire royal family fell into the water. The adults got wet, and the child choked. According to another version, while sailing along the Sheksna, Ivan IV, while in a plow, asked Tsarina Anastasia, who was traveling in a neighboring boat, to hand over her son to him. When she held out the child, she did not hold it. Dmitry fell into the water and drowned. There is also an assumption that both of these hypotheses are fiction, and the prince simply died on the road from illness.

Humayun, padishah of the Mughal Empire from the Baburid dynasty. He was interested in astrology and astronomy. One day, as he was leaving the palace library with a stack of books, the adhan sounded. The devout padishah tried to kneel, but got entangled in the hem of his clothes, slipped on the marble stairs and rolled down. Three days later, on January 27, 1556, Humayun died from a traumatic brain injury.

Pietro Aretino, Italian writer of the Renaissance. On October 21, 1556, during a feast in Venice, he heard an obscene joke from one of the guests. Aretino laughed so hard that he fell from his chair and smashed his skull to death.

Henry II, King of France. In honor of the conclusion of the Peace of Cateau-Cambresia and the celebration of his daughter’s wedding, he organized a three-day knightly tournament, in which he himself took part. Defeated in a duel with the Earl of Montgomery, Henry II demanded revenge from him. He refused at the sight of the heated king. But the monarch insisted on a new fight. When the opponents came together, the visor of the royal helmet moved. At the same time, Montgomery's spear broke on the armor of Henry II. A piece of it flew off and pierced the king's face, entering his right eye and exiting through his ear. Losing consciousness, Henry II asked that no one accuse the count of premeditated murder. The best French doctors could not help the king. On July 10, 1559, he died from his wound.

Hans Steininger, Stadthauptman of the Austrian city of Braunau am Inn. He had a beard one and a half meters long. Steininger died on September 28, 1567. During a fire in the city, he hurriedly stepped on his beard, tripped, fell down the stairs and broke his neck.

Christopher Marlowe, English playwright. On May 30, 1593, in a London tavern, he argued with two drinking companions over the bill. In the drunken fight that ensued, one of them stabbed the writer in the eye with a dagger. According to another version, Marlowe’s death was not accidental, and his killers were agents of the queen.

Edward Kelly, English alchemist. For unsuccessful experiments with gold production, he was imprisoned in Prague by order of Emperor Rudolf II. According to the traditional version, he tried to escape from the tower using a rope, but fell and died from his injuries on November 25, 1597.

Tycho Brahe, Danish astronomer and astrologer. According to legend, while at dinner with Peter Vok in the Rožemberk Palace in Prague, he, following etiquette, did not leave the table on time due to minor needs. As a result, inflammation of the bladder occurred, from which the scientist died on October 24, 1601. Other causes of his death have also been cited as mercury poisoning, kidney failure and complications of chronic gonorrhea.

Francis Bacon, English philosopher. One day his carriage ran over a chicken on the street. Seeing this, Bacon decided to experiment with freezing the dead bird. He filled it with fresh snow to test the extent to which the cold slowed down the rotting process. After working in the cold for a long time, the scientist caught a cold, fell ill, and died on April 9, 1626. Before his death, in a letter to one of his friends, he happily reported that his experience was a success.

Jean-Baptiste Lully, French composer. While conducting his work Te Deum on the occasion of the recovery of King Louis XIV, the musician injured his leg with the tip of a trampoline cane, which was used to beat time at that time. The wound developed into an abscess and turned into gangrene. On March 22, 1687, Lully died.

Julien Aufret de La Mettrie, French physician and philosopher - materialist of the Enlightenment. He died on November 11, 1751 in Berlin. According to the official version, La Mettrie ate a large amount of truffle pate at a dinner with the French ambassador Tyrconnel, which caused severe indigestion and caused death. There are also versions that the philosopher was poisoned by his enemies or died of acute appendicitis.

Adolf Fredrik, King of Sweden. On February 12, 1771, he ate a lunch consisting of lobster, caviar, sauerkraut, smoked herring, squash soup, wheat burgers, warm milk and champagne. After this, the king died of indigestion.

Frantisek Kotzvara, Czech violist and composer. On September 2, 1791, while in London, he picked up a prostitute and had sex with her using erotic self-strangulation. During intercourse, Kotzvara died of asphyxia.

John Kendrick, US Navy Captain. The ship Lady Washington, under his command, fought against the natives on the island of Oahu in the Hawaiian archipelago. They were supported by another American ship, the Jackal, commanded by William Brown. On December 12, 1794, after the victory over the Hawaiians, both ships saluted each other with volleys of guns. But the Jackal's guns turned out to be loaded with live shells. A volley of grapeshot fired at the Lady Washington killed Hendrick and several members of his crew. The captain was buried on the sandy shore of Oahu under palm trees.

Governor Morris, American statesman, one of the Founding Fathers of the United States. At the end of his life he suffered greatly from urinary retention. The doctors' efforts did not help. In desperation, Morris took a sharp piece of whalebone from his wife's corset and shoved it into her urethra like a bougie. As a result, he damaged the inside of the urethra. The wound became infected, necrosis occurred, and Morris died on November 6, 1816.

William Huskisson, British parliamentarian. On September 15, 1830, during the opening of the Liverpool-Manchester railway, he, wanting to talk to the Duke of Wellington, went to the carriage in which he was located. The politician did not notice the train approaching along the neighboring tracks and fell under the wheels of the train. Huskisson's leg was badly crushed. He was taken to Eccles Hospital where he died four hours later. Huskisson became the first person to die under the wheels of a train.

David Douglas, Scottish biologist and botanist. He died on July 12, 1834 while traveling to the Hawaiian Islands. Douglas fell into a pit trap along with a bull chasing him, which then trampled the scientist.

William Harrison, 9th President of the United States. He caught a cold during his two-hour inaugural address, standing in the cold wind without a coat or hat. Three weeks later, the president caught a cold again during a walk. The disease progressed to pneumonia and pleurisy. To treat the president, doctors used opium, castor oil and snake venom. But Harrison got even worse. Hepatitis developed and blood poisoning began. On April 4, 1841, he died after serving as president for exactly a month.

Zachary Taylor, 12th President of the United States. During the Independence Day celebrations, he, suffering from the heat, drank several glasses of cold milk and also ate a lot of ice cream and fresh fruits. The president suffered from indigestion and a few days later, on July 9, 1850, Taylor died. According to another version, the cause of death was an intestinal infection.

Clement Vallandigham, American lawyer and politician. In his latest case, he defended a man who was accused of murder following an altercation in a hotel bar. On June 17, 1871, while speaking in court, Vallandigham tried to clearly show how the victim accidentally killed himself when he tried to pull a pistol from his trouser pocket. The weapon demonstrated by the lawyer turned out to be loaded. During the experiment, he accidentally shot himself in the stomach and soon died of peritonitis. His client was acquitted and released from custody.

Alan Pinkerton, American detective and intelligence officer. While walking, he slipped on the sidewalk and bit his tongue. The wound became infected, gangrene developed, and Pinkerton died on July 1, 1884.

Felix Faure, President of France. On February 16, 1899, he died of a stroke in his office. According to rumors, death occurred at the moment when the courtesan and adventurer Marguerite Stenel was giving a blowjob to the president. According to another version, Faure was poisoned.

Jack Daniel, American businessman, creator of Tennessee whiskey Jack Daniel's. One day, he couldn't open the safe in his office and kicked it in a rage, breaking his finger. Untimely medical intervention led to blood poisoning. Sepsis set in and on October 10, 1911, the businessman died. Modern biographers of Jack Daniel's story about the safe are refuted.

Franz Reichelt, Austrian tailor and inventor. On February 4, 1912, he decided to test his new development - a “cloak-parachute”, jumping with it from the lower span of the Eiffel Tower in Paris at an altitude of 60 meters. The experiment was unsuccessful, the parachute did not open and Reichelt died.

François Faber, Luxembourg cyclist and winner of the Tour de France. Killed on the Western Front on May 9, 1915. According to one version, Faber received a telegram informing him that his wife had given birth to a daughter. Out of joy, he leaned out of the trench and was killed by a German sniper.

Alexander I, King of Greece. One day he was walking with his shepherd dog in Tata Park. Alexander I decided to visit the royal gardener, the German Sturm. He had two trained monkeys living with him. They attacked the dog. The king tried to separate the animals and was bitten by one of the monkeys. The monarch developed sepsis and died on October 25, 1920.

Bobby Leach, the first man to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel. During a lecture tour in New Zealand, he injured his leg when he slipped on an orange peel. Blood poisoning occurred and gangrene began. The leg was amputated. But despite this, Leach died two months later, on April 26, 1926.

Isadora Duncan, American dancer. She died in Nice on September 14, 1927. She got into the car, wearing her favorite long red scarf around her neck. Duncan shouted to those seeing her off: “Farewell, I’m going to glory!” When the car started moving, the scarf got wrapped around the wheel axle and broke her neck. Death occurred almost instantly.

Alexander Bogdanov, Russian doctor and revolutionary. Conducted experiments on rejuvenation through blood transfusions. I decided to conduct one of the experiments on myself. Bogdanov performed an exchange transfusion of blood from a student suffering from malaria and tuberculosis. After this, the scientist’s health deteriorated sharply. On April 7, 1928 he died. The student survived and made a full recovery. According to modern research, the cause of Bogdanov’s death was Rh factor incompatibility.

Sherwood Anderson, American writer. He went with his wife Eleanor on a charity trip to South America, funded by the US State Department. On the eve of the trip, during a farewell party, the writer accidentally swallowed a piece of toothpick. On the ship he developed peritonitis. The patient was taken ashore and sent to a hospital in the Panama Canal Zone. Anderson died here on March 8, 1941.

Vladimir Smirnov, Soviet rapierist. At the World Fencing Championships held in Rome, he entered into a duel with Matthias Behr from Germany. During the fight, his opponent's rapier broke. A piece of debris pierced Smirnov's mask and caused a brain injury through his eye. The rapier operator spent about a week in an induced coma and died on July 27, 1982.

Tennessee Williams, American playwright. He died on February 25, 1983, in a suite at the Elise Hotel in New York. Death occurred from suffocation. It occurred as a result of the cap from a bottle of eye drops used by Williams getting into the respiratory tract. Alcohol and barbiturate abuse could also have played a negative role in the playwright’s death.

Sani Abacha, Nigerian dictator. He died in Abuja on June 8, 1998. According to one version, Abacha spent the night in the company of several Indian prostitutes and died at their hands. One of the girls brought him a glass of orange juice that contained poison. According to another assumption, the dictator died of a heart attack caused by an overdose of Viagra, which he took in large quantities before a sexual orgy.

Humans tend to make mistakes. But you have to pay for mistakes, this is a known fact. But sometimes the price to pay for stupid mistakes is too high.

All of you have probably heard about how Isadora Duncan died. Yeah, her death was really ridiculous. But imagine that you could literally die of laughter or die from an overdose of carrot juice.

Carrot juice is a very tasty and healthy drink...if consumed in moderation. 48-year-old Basil Brown from England in 1974 drank about 50 liters of carrot juice over 10 days - 10,000 times the recommended amount of vitamin A. This ultimately led to liver failure, and as a result, death. Brown probably decided that there should be a lot of good things.

Have you ever found yourself laughing so hard that you literally burst out laughing or died? Alex Mitchell died of laughter in 1975 at the age of 50. Mitchell had heart problems and died of a heart attack while watching his favorite TV series, The Goodies.

In 2009, Sergei Tuganov (28 years old) decided to demonstrate his “masculine prowess” in a very unusual way, by swallowing an entire package of Viagra. A man bet two girls $4,300 that he could last a 12-hour sex marathon with both of them. Apparently, Tuganov was so hungry for male glory that he could not afford to lose - he actually won the bet, but immediately after the end of this 12-hour orgy he died of a heart attack.

This year, Davon Staples from Maine, while celebrating Fourth of July with friends and under the influence of alcohol, decided to launch fireworks directly from his own head. Staples died that same day. The brother of the deceased says that “it was a stupid incident. Davon wasn't the type to do anything stupid. He was one of those people who pretends to do something stupid to make people laugh." Unfortunately, his last joke turned out to be unfunny...

Texas resident Tommy Woodward ignored not only the danger signs, but also the warnings of his friends. Woodward was warned not to swim in the pond where the huge alligator was located. However, he not only jumped into the water, but also began shouting curses at the alligator. The animal, apparently, did not find this prank funny - Woodward’s torn body was discovered several hours later.

Here is another example of death in the name of “masculinity.” In 1995, farmer Christoph Azninsky was drinking with his friends. The men then stripped naked and began to play various games to show who was the bravest. It all started with throwing frozen turnips, but then someone discovered a chainsaw. One of the friends grabbed her and, shouting that he would show who the real man was, cut off his foot. Then Christoph Azninsky decided to outdo the brave man, and, taking the saw from his friend, cut off his own head. “It was fun,” one of his friends said later. “When he was younger, he liked to wear his sister’s underwear.”

Isadora Duncan was a world-famous dancer who led a bohemian life and was free-spirited. On September 14, 1927, Duncan, while in France, decided to take a ride with her friend in a convertible. The dancer was wearing her favorite silk scarf, which ultimately became the cause of her tragic death. The scarf wrapped around Duncan's neck dangled from the outside of the car and hit the rear wheel axle. The woman was thrown from the car to the side of the road and died instantly from suffocation and a broken neck.

Julien Offray de La Mettrie was a famous physician and philosopher of the 16th century. La Mettrie successfully treated the French ambassador in Prussia, and he wanted to thank the doctor by organizing a huge holiday in his honor. He soon died from indigestion due to overeating at this dinner. La Mettrie was distinguished by his ability to eat a lot and wanted to show that this was not at all harmful to health.

At the beginning of the 20th century, French tailor Franz Reichelt came up with a parachute that could be worn as clothing. In 1912, after many attempts to obtain permission from the French government to conduct testing, he was finally able to try his new invention. Reichelt jumped from the Eiffel Tower, wearing a parachute suit, to his death.

California resident Jose Luis Ochoa (35 years old) was not only a fan of illegal cockfights, but also an active organizer. In 2011, during a match, a rooster stabbed a man in the leg with a knife usually tied to the bird's leg. Ochoa was taken to the hospital only two hours after the incident, but it was already too late - the organizer of the cockfights died shortly after arrival.

In 1993, Toronto lawyer Harry Hoy, 38, wanted to prove to a group of students that the glass in his 24th floor office was “unbreakable.” He accelerated and hit the glass - it really didn’t break, but simply fell out of the window frame, and Hoy flew down to his death.