Reading stories in English is one of the main methods of learning the language. Working with stories in English helps to expand vocabulary and grammatical literacy.
How can reading stories in English help?
The main principle in working with stories in English is systematicity. Only systematic work can guarantee the expected result.
Methodology for working with stories:
- The selected story needs to be read fluently for the first time: try to understand the general idea of what you read, do not try to understand every word;
- while reading a story in English for the second time pay attention to structures and use of grammar;
- interesting phrases from history can be written out in a separate notebook in order to be able to return to them in the future.
Constant work with stories will help improve.
English short stories for beginners
For beginners, stories in English with a simple plot and simple grammatical structures are suitable. These can be comic stories, simple plots and stories about animals, children, and travel.
A story in English about a boy who learned to see
This story uses And, it is understandable for speakers of levels A1-A2.
| In the railway carriage, one boy was laughing all the time, when he was looking at the window.
The man sitting in from of him was getting angry. He was very tired and he wanted to sleep. But the boy was laughing all the time and prevented him. The man could not stand it and said: - Mister, could you tell something to your son. Calm him down. The father didn’t say a word. Then the man said again: — I think, your son needs a doctor! His behavior is awful! - We have just been there. – smiled a father. The man surprised. Father continued: — My son started to see the world around him! His vision has been restored today. |
In a train carriage, one boy was constantly laughing as he looked out the window. The man who was sitting opposite began to get angry. He was tired and wanted to sleep. But the boy laughed and disturbed him. The man could not stand it and said: - Mister, could you calm your son down? The father remained silent. The boy continued to laugh. Then the man said again: “I think your son needs to be shown to a doctor.” - We were just there. – Father answered. The man was surprised. The boy's behavior made him very angry! Dad continued: — My son saw the world for the first time! His vision was restored. |
A story in English about a girl and a violin
This story is suitable to be read in context studying in English.
| One girl always wanted to learn how to play the violin. She was listening to music, watching concerts and was sitting sadly at the window.
Her family was very poor. They couldn't buy a violin for their daughters. But the girl tried not to be sad. She was happy when she heard the sound of a favorite musical instrument. She continued dreaming. Once she was walking on the street when she saw a homeless man, who was playing the violin. She has a few dollars with herself. She was so sorry for this man so she decided to give him her money. - Thank you, kind girl. – said the man. – What can I do for you? |
One girl always wanted to learn to play the violin. She listened to music, watched concerts and was sad by the window. Her family was very poor. They couldn't buy a violin for their daughter. But the girl was not sad. She was happy when she heard the sound of her favorite instrument and continued to dream. One day she was walking down the street and saw a homeless man playing the violin. She had a few dollars with her. She felt so sorry for the poor man that she gave him all her money. - Thank you, kind girl. – the man smiled. - What can I do for you? Blushing, she silently walked home. The next morning she found a violin near the door. There was a note next to her: "Kindness is always rewarded." |
Story in English about the nightingale and the rose
To consolidate knowledge about the simple and continuous past tense In English, this story is suitable with a simple plot and simple basic vocabulary.
| There was a rose in the garden. She was very sad and often cried. Other flowers had people who loved them. They were presented all the time. But rose wasn't. She had thorns.
Once the Nightingale sat near rose. He started to sing a beautiful song. She was looking at the rose and his song was perfect. The rose revived. She understood that somebody needs her. The bird was always sitting near here and singing its song. Once he flew up very close and the rose was frightened: - Fly away! – Cried she, – you can be pricked! - I'm not afraid. – said the nightingale. – You are very beautiful and I’m not afraid to be pricked. She heard such good words for the first time. She was pleased. And she understood that there is always somebody who will not be afraid of you. |
A beautiful rose grew in the garden. She was sad and cried often. Other flowers found owners - people picked them and gave them to each other. But no one touched the rose. It had sharp thorns. One day a nightingale sat on a nearby bush. He began to sing beautifully. He looked at the rose and sang a beautiful song. Rose came to life. She realized that someone needed her. The bird constantly sat nearby and sang songs. One day he flew close and the rose got scared: - Fly away! - she said. - You can inject yourself! - I'm not afraid. - The nightingale answered. – you are very beautiful and I’m not afraid to prick myself. It was the first time Rose had heard such words. She was pleased. And she realized that in this world there will always be someone who is not afraid to approach you. |
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A story in English about happiness
In this story, which can be written out and practiced in different contexts in English.
| The little bird decided to learn what happiness is. She asked the wind, sun, sky, and water. But all of them answered differently.
The wind said that happiness is freedom. The sky said that happiness is silence. The water said that happiness is the speed. The bird was frustrated. She thought that she got confused. Then she decided to ask the wise Owl. Owl answered: - Happiness is when you are happy. You are happy when you fly and sing. The bird was pleased. It was true! She was always happy when she was flying and singing! She understood that every creature has their own happiness. |
The little bird decided to find out what happiness is. She asked the wind, the sun, the sky and the water. But they all answered differently. The wind said that happiness is freedom. Heaven said that happiness is silence. And the water said that happiness is speed. The bird was confused. She thought she was confused. Then she decided to ask the wise owl. And the owl answered: — Happiness is what makes you happy. And you are happy when you want to sing and fly. The bird was happy. It was true! She was happy when she flew. She realized that everyone determines their own happiness. |
Story in English about friendship
There are many uses in this story. in singular and plural. It is suitable for practicing this grammatical structure, and the adjectives used in the story will help expand your vocabulary.
| In the big forest lived a fox and a hare. They were unusual. The fox and the hare were friends. Everyone was surprised because foxes and hears cannot be friends! But those animals were unusual.
They helped each other, they gave advises to each other in different situations. The fox is always protected the hare, and the hare made the fox laugh. Once a big bear said: — You mustn’t be friends with the hare! It's not right! - But why? – asked the fox. — Read the fairytales! This kind of friendship doesn’t exist! The fox thought about it. And then answered: — Not everything in the fairytale is true. Real life is more complicated and we can choose who we want to be friends with. |
In one large forest lived a fox and a hare. They were unusual. The hare and the fox were friends. Everyone was surprised at this, because a fox and a hare are never friends, but these animals were special! They helped each other, advised each other on what to do in different situations. The fox protected the hare, and the hare made the fox laugh. One day A big bear said to the fox: -You shouldn't be friends with him! It is not right! - but why? – The fox was surprised. - Read fairy tales! There is nowhere where the fox and the hare are friends. Lisa thought about it. And then she answered: — Not everything that fairy tales write is true. Real life much more complicated and we ourselves can choose who to be and who to be friends with. |
A story in English about a living forest
| Once a boy was walking in the forest. He broke branches, frightened animals, chopped the grass.
In the evening, when he went to bed, someone knocked at the window. He looked out and saw a tree. “You did very badly!” The boy heard the words. He was frightened. - Who is it? — He asked. - Never mind. I am a part of nature. And you are too. What did you do is bad. - You're not alive! The tree lowered its branches and sadly replied: - That's what you think. But I'm alive. And the grass is alive. And the animals feel pain. The boy pondered. He felt ashamed. — Forgive me, tree. - Not answered. But the tree was silent. The next day the boy went to the forest and behaved quietly. He realized that the forest is alive. |
Some boys were walking in the forest. He broke branches, scared animals and crushed grass. In the evening, when he was going to bed, someone knocked on the window. He looked out and saw a tree. -You did very badly! – the boy heard the words. He was scared. - Who is this? - he asked. - Doesn't matter. I am part of nature. And you too. What you did is bad. - You're not alive! The tree lowered its branches and sadly answered: - That's what you think. But I'm alive. And the grass is alive. And animals feel pain. The boy thought about it. He felt ashamed. - Forgive me, tree. - He answered. But the tree remained silent. The next day the boy went into the forest and behaved quietly. He realized that the forest was alive. |
A story in English about mother's love
| The boy tore his jacket and was crying for a long time. He thought that his mother would stop loving him. This jacket was presented to him for his birthday.
He was sitting on the steps and crying. He was ashamed and sad. He didn't want to go home. Evening came. And the boy did not want to go home. — Son, we’ve been looking for you! What are you doing here? - Mom came to him. He began to cry again. And then mother noticed that the jacket was torn. The boy noticed this and said: - Sorry! Mom, I'm sorry! I'm not on purpose! I know that you will stop loving me! - Stop. Said mother and smiled. - Why do you think so? - She's so expensive. — Whispered the boy. Mom once again smiled and tenderly replied: — You are the most expensive. Nothing can kill my love. |
The boy tore his jacket and cried for a very long time. He thought that his mother would stop loving him. This jacket was given to him for his birthday. He sat on the steps and cried. He was ashamed and sad. He didn't want to go home. Evening came. But the boy still didn’t want to go home. - Son, we were looking for you! What are you doing here? - Mom approached him. He started crying again. And then my mother noticed that the jacket was torn. The boy noticed this and began to say: - Sorry! Mom, I'm sorry! I didn't do it on purpose! I know that you will stop loving me! - Stop. - Mom said and smiled. - Why do you think so? - She's so dear. - The boy whispered. Mom smiled again and gently answered: - You are the most precious thing. Nothing can kill my love. |
Scary stories in English with translation
Story in English about the black room
| The black-black company had a black-and-black table. In the black-black desk was a black-black box. In this box was a black folder. And in the black folder there were some black sheets of paper. There were written some gory story. Everyone who read this story began to see terrible dreams. Nobody knew who wrote this story. The man who kept this story was very lonely. He wrote it for a very long time and every time someone insulted him, he threw a folder in his bag with this story. Loneliness sometimes makes people very angry. |
In a black-black company there was a black-black table. In the black-black table there was a black-black box. There was a black folder in this box. And in a black folder on black sheets of paper a terrible story was written. Everyone who read this story began to have terrible dreams. Nobody knew who wrote this story. The man who kept this story was very lonely. He wrote it for a very long time and every time someone offended him, he threw a folder with this story into his bag. Loneliness sometimes makes people very angry. |
A story in English about a ghost and a castle
This story in English uses many different grammatical structures, which are studied at levels B1-B2. Those learning English at A2 level can also read it if they want to learn more complex words and phrases.
| In the castle lived a ghost. The castle stood empty for a long time and the ghost was sad. But one day the family moved there.
And the ghost came to life. It began to walk the corridors, frighten new tenants and scared to howl in the middle of the night. The family was very frightened. One day she woke up a little girl, and she cried out loud. Dad decided to do something with this ghost. They tried to catch him, summoned the priest, and the ghost hunters. But nothing helped. And the family left this castle. Ghosts stayed alone again. Nobody found out about his loneliness. For thousands of years of emptiness in the castle, it has forgotten how to talk with people and is only able to frighten them. |
There was a ghost in one castle. The castle stood empty for a long time and the ghost was sad. But one day a family moved there. And the ghost came to life, began to walk along the corridors, scare the new residents and howl terribly in the middle of the night. The family was very scared. One day a ghost woke up a little girl and she screamed loudly. Dad decided to do something about this ghost. They tried to catch him, called the priest, and ghost hunters. But nothing helped. And the family left this castle. The ghost itself remained again. I never knew about his loneliness. Over thousands of years of emptiness in the castle, the ghost forgot how to talk to people and only knew how to scare them. |
Story in English about Halloween
| Jessica never believed in spirits. She was always skeptical about any holidays and beliefs.
It was Halloween. All around bought suits, prepared strange dishes and decorated their homes. Only Jessica sat sadly by the window. She was dreaming about a miracle! Suddenly, something knocked at her window. Jessica wonced: she lived on the 9th floor. The knock repeated. The girl opened the window and looked out - the fresh air flew into the room, but there was no one there. Jessica closed the window. Suddenly she felt something behind her. She froze and turned slowly: big green eyes were looking at her. The girl cried out loud and suddenly… woke up. It turned out that she dozed off at the window and she dreamed it. |
Jessica never believed in spirits. She was always skeptical about any holidays or beliefs. It's Halloween. Everyone around was buying costumes, cooking strange dishes and decorating their homes. Only Jessica sat sadly near the window. She wanted a miracle so much! Suddenly something knocked on her window. Jessica shuddered: she lived on the 9th floor. The knock was repeated. The girl opened the window and looked out - fresh air flew into the room, but there was no one there. Jessica closed the window. And suddenly she felt something standing behind her. She froze and slowly turned around: big green eyes were looking at her. The girl screamed loudly and suddenly... woke up. It turned out that she dozed off by the window and dreamed about it. |
A story in English about two men
| Two men were driving in the car on the road. They were returning from their parents.
Suddenly a fox ran to the road. The driver was frightened and stopped the car. The men got out of the car and looked around - there was a dark forest around, a howl of a wolf could be heard. Suddenly something big appeared from the bushes, a roar was heard. One man was frightened and quickly returned to the car. — Get in the car! — Not shouted. But his brother froze and did not move from his place. - Faster! — Cried the driver. He was very scared, he pressed the gas and the car drove off. In the rear view, he saw how something black and big dragged his brother into the forest. |
Two men were driving along the road in a car. They were returning from their parents. Suddenly a fox ran out onto the road. The driver got scared and stopped the car. The men got out of the car and looked around - there was a dark forest around, they could hear the howling of a wolf. Suddenly something large appeared from the bushes and a roar was heard. One man got scared and quickly returned to the car. - Get in the car! - he shouted. But his brother froze and did not move. - Faster! – the driver shouted. He was very scared, he pressed the gas and the car drove off. Through the rearview window, he saw something black and large drag his brother into the forest. |
Story in English: “The Angry Dog and the Boy”
| The family gave the boy a dog.
The child was happy and very fond of his pet, played with him. But the dog was dull - she did not like to play with the ball, toys. When it grew up, the boy saw that the dog was getting very angry. And one day he began to be afraid of it. The dog began to growl at him. In one day it bites him. But the parents did not see this and did not believe the boy when he told about it. - It is just bored with you - Said, my mother. — You grew up and don’t want to play with it. Answered my father. The boy was scared. One night he woke up because someone was breathing on him. He opened his eyes and saw a dog sitting on his stomach and looking into his eyes. He saw its big teeth. The boy screamed and ran to his parents. The next day the dog disappeared. Parents did not believe the boy, and the boy all his life expected that the dog will return one day. |
The family gave the boy a dog. The child was happy and loved his pet very much and played with him. But the dog was sad - she did not like to play with a ball or toys. When she grew up, the boy saw that the dog was becoming very angry. And one day he began to be afraid of her. The dog started growling at him. One day she bit him. But the parents did not see this and did not believe the boy when he talked about it. - You're just tired of her. - Mom said. “You’ve grown up and don’t want to play with her.” - Dad answered. The boy was scared. One night he woke up to the sound of someone breathing on him. He opened his eyes and saw a dog sitting on his stomach and looking into his eyes. Her big teeth were visible. The boy screamed and ran to his parents. The next day the dog disappeared. The parents never believed the boy, and the boy spent his entire life waiting for the dog to return. |
Story in English: “The Girl on the Road”
| The driver was driving along the road and suddenly stopped. In the middle of the road, there was a girl in white.
He went out, but the figure disappeared. Every time he returned from work, he saw this figure. But she quickly disappeared. The driver decided to look for something. He found some information. The girl had been killed on this road, and the killer has not yet been punished. Since then, the girl frightens the drivers. The man became frightened and he began to go round this road. But he never stopped thinking about a girl in a white dress. |
The driver was driving along the road and suddenly stopped. A girl in white stood in the middle of the road. He left, but the figure disappeared. Every time he returned from work, he saw this figure. But she quickly disappeared. The driver decided to look for something. He found information that a girl was killed on this road, and the killer has not yet been punished. Since then, the girl has been scaring drivers. The man became scared and began to drive around this road. But he never stopped thinking about the girl in the white dress. |
Story in English: “The Monster and the Cellar”
| Alice was afraid of going to the basement. Mom often asked her to go down there and get some things.
But the girl knew that there was a monster in the basement. She saw his terrible eyes and big teeth. But she was afraid to tell anyone about it. So she wrote about it in her diary. Once the mother asked Alice to bring the book from the cellar. The girl went down there, she trembled and was very afraid. Since then, no one saw the girl. All the people were looking for a girl in the forests, fields, meadows. Once the mother found Alice’s diary. She cried loudly, ran out of the house and began to cry. After that, she poured a house on kerosene and set fire to it. |
Alice was afraid to go to the basement. Mom often asked her to go down there and get some things. But the girl knew that a monster lived in the basement. She saw his scary eyes and big teeth. But she was afraid to tell anyone about it. So she wrote about it in her diary. One day Mom asked Alice to bring a book from the basement. The girl went down there, she was trembling and very afraid. Since then, no one has seen the girl. Everyone was looking for the girl in the forests, fields, meadows. One day my mother found Alice's diary. She screamed loudly, ran out of the house and started crying. After that, she doused the house with kerosene and set it on fire. |
Funny stories in English with translation
A story in English about a cat who was afraid of mice
| In one house a mouse started to live. The hosts decided to get a cat to catch this mouse.
The cat was named Timothy. But this cat was very shy. He was afraid of the mouse and hid behind the refrigerator. — Catch the mouse, please. — asked the landlady at home. Everyone realized that he was timid. Once he was lying under the table and was afraid. Suddenly he saw a mouse. She came to him curiously and asked: - Why don’t you catch me? The cat cried and answered: — I’m afraid of you, mouse. The mouse laughed and answered: — I can’t live with you in the same house! I want to run and hide. And you lie here and cry. And the mouse has gone. Everyone thought that Timothy had caught it. |
There was a mouse in one house. The owners decided to get a cat so that he could catch this mouse. The cat was named Timothy. But this cat was very shy. He was afraid of mice and hid behind the refrigerator. - Catch the mouse, please. - The lady of the house asked. Everyone realized that he was shy. One day he was lying under the table and was afraid. Suddenly he saw a mouse. She approached him curiously and asked: - Why don’t you catch me? The cat cried and answered: - I'm afraid of you, mouse. The mouse laughed and answered: - I can’t live in the same house with you! I want to run and hide. And you lie here and cry. And the mouse left. Everyone thought Timothy had caught her. |
Story in English: “Why is the kangaroo called that?”
| One large expedition arrived in Australia. There they saw a big animal with a bag on its stomach.
Nearby stood a tribe. Researchers asked them: - Tell me, natives, who is this? What a wondrous animal with a bag on his stomach? People answered: — Ken gu ru. The freight forwarders did not know the language of the tribe, and they thought it was the name of the animal. - Kangaroo, a kangaroo. - the researchers nodded. Since then, an animal with a bag is called a kangaroo. But only now we know that the tribe answered: “We do not know.” |
One big expedition arrived in Australia. There they saw a large animal with a bag on its stomach. There was a tribe nearby. The researchers asked them: - Tell me, indigenous people, who are they? What is this wonderful animal with a pouch on its belly? People replied: - Ken gu ru. The forwarders did not know the language of the tribe, and they thought it was the name of the animal. - Kangaroo, kangaroo. – the researchers nodded. Since then, the animal with a pouch has been called a kangaroo. But only now do we know that the tribe responded, “We don’t know.” |
Story in English: "In the Dark"
| Many years ago, two friends, Joe and Peter arrived in a small hotel. They asked for a room.
They were given keys and a candle. While they were going there, the candle went out. They groped for the door and went into the room. They were undressed and went to bed, but they did not see that it was one big bed. Joe said: — Peter, there’s someone in my bed. Peter replied: — Joe, in mine, too. — I can feel his legs. “Let’s push him,” Joe suggested. They began to shove each other and both fell into bed. The men got angry and said: — We need to go to the owner and complain to him! |
Many years ago, two friends Joe and Peter arrived at a small hotel. They asked for a number. They were given keys and a candle. While they were walking there, the candle went out. They groped their way to the door and entered the room. They undressed and went to bed, but they did not see that it was one large bed. Joe said: - Peter, there is someone in my bed. Peter replied: - Joe, in mine too. I can feel his legs. “Let's push him,” Joe suggested. They started pushing each other and both fell into bed. The men got angry and said: - You need to go to the owner and complain to him! |
Story in English: “Are you angry?”
A short story with elements of a joke:
| One day a famous man was traveling to France by an old train. He was going to a small village. He went to sleep very late. He asked the conductor to wake him up when they got to the town.
He woke up in the morning. The train was already near Paris. The man was very angry. He ran up to the conductor and cried: - Why didn’t you do it? I am very angry with you! The conductor looked at him for a moment and then said: — You may be angry, but not so angry as the other man whom I put off’ the train instead of you at night |
One day a man was traveling by train. He was on his way to a small town. It was late when he went to bed. He asked the conductor to wake him up when he needed to stop. He woke up early already near Paris. The man got angry. He ran up to the conductor and shouted: - How could you? - he said to the conductor, - I’m very angry! The conductor looked at him and said. -You are very angry. But the American, whom I woke up instead of you and dropped off the train, is even angrier. |
Story in English: “In a Small Town”
| One little girl was crying all day. She was really sad.
Mother came to her and asked: — Darling, why are you crying so long? What happened? Are you hurt? “No,” said the girl. — Maybe you have your toys broken? - So tell me, why? The girl looked at her mother’s eyes and said: — Because my brother has holidays, and I don’t. - But why? – Mother was surprised. — Because I don’t go to school! – Cried the girl. |
One little girl cried all day. She was very sad. Mom came up to her and asked: - Darling, why are you crying? What's happened? Did someone offend you? “No,” the girl answered. - Maybe your toys are broken? - So tell me why? The girl looked into her mother’s eyes and said: — Because my brother has a vacation, but I don’t. - But why? - Mom was surprised. - Because I don't go to school yet! - The girl burst into tears. |
History in English: “The Great Doctor and the Great Writer”
A funny story about the response of a great doctor to the actions of a great writer:
| One big artist's dog broke its leg. He decided to call the doctor. But he didn’t want to ask for help an ordinary vet. So he called the best doctor in the world.
“Doctor,” he said, “it is very important for me.” Help my dog. The doctor said nothing but did his job. Later he called this artist. “Dear artist,” he said. – I called you to ask for your help. Paint my door, please. This is very important for me. |
The great artist's dog broke his leg. He decided to call a doctor. But he didn't want an ordinary veterinarian, so he called the best doctor in the world. - Doctor, this is important to me. Help my dog. The doctor remained silent, but did his job. Later the doctor called the artist. “Dear artist,” he said, smiling, “I called you to paint my door.” It's important for me! Can you do it? |
Story in English: “The Policeman and the Thief”
A short story similar to the joke about a thief and a policeman:
| Young policeman was asked to get the thief to the prison. While they were walking to that place, the thief said:
— I need to go to the shop to buy some food. The policeman was waiting for him for 30 minutes. After he realized that he was fooled. After some time the thief was caught again. Young policeman was asked to do the same job. Walking through the shop thief said: — I need to go to the shop, wait for me. - No! – Cried policeman. – You won’t do the same again. Now I will go to the shop and you will wait for me. |
A young policeman was asked to escort a thief to prison. On the way the thief said: - I have to go to the store and buy food, wait for me here. The policeman waited for half an hour. Then I went into the store and realized that the thief had run away. Soon the thief was caught again. And the young policeman was again asked to do the job. Passing by the store, the thief said again: — I’ll go to the store, and you wait for me. The policeman replied: - No way! I've already been caught once. Now I'll go to the store, and you wait for me here. |
Conclusion
While learning English, you can use stories on various topics with translation into Russian as additional source lexical and grammatical material.
Many years ago two friends, Joe and Tom, came to a small town. It was very dark when they came to a little inn. They asked for a room with two beds. The owner of the inn showed them a room and gave them a candle because there was no lamp in the room.
When they were going to the room the candle fell out of Joe's hand. It became very dark. They found the door of the room and went in.
They took off their clothes and went to bed. The bed was very big and by mistake1 they got into the same bed: Tom from one side and Joe from the other.
After a few minutes Joe said, "You know, Tom, there"s a man in my bed. Here are his feet near my face."
"Yes, Joe, there"s a man in my bed too. His feet are near my face too. What shall we do?"
"Let's push them off our beds."
And they began to push each other. After some time the two men fell on the floor.
"Joe!" cried Tom. "My man is stronger than I. He has pushed me down to the floor."
"I"m on the floor too," answered Joe. "I think we must go to the owner of the inn and tell him about it."
Are You Angry, Sir?
One day Mark Twain was traveling in France by train. He was going to a small town near Paris. It was very late at night when he went to sleep. He asked the conductor to wake him up when they got to the town, and went to sleep.
It was early morning when he woke up. The train was already near Paris. Mark Twain was very angry. He ran up to the conductor and cried, "I asked you to wake me up! Why didn"t you do it? I am very angry with you!"
The conductor looked at him for a moment and then said, "You may be angry, sir, but not so angry as the American whom I put off" the train instead of you."
In a Small Town
Toscanini was a great musician. He lived in America. One day he came to a very little town. He was walking along the street when he saw a piece of paper in one of the windows. He read:
"Mrs. Smith. Music Lessons. Two Dollars a Lesson"
Then Toscanini heard the music. Somebody was playing Tchaikovsky.
"Mrs Smith is playing," he thought, "she isn't a very good musician." She doesn't play Tchaikovsky well. I must show her how to play it."
He went up to the door of the house and rank. The music stopped and soon a woman opened the door.
"Are you Mrs Smith?" asked Toscanini. "My name is Toscanini and I want to show you how to play Tchaikovsky."
Mrs Smith was very glad to meet the great musician. She asked him to come in. Toscanini played Tchaikovsky for her and went away.
A year later Toscanini visited the same town again. When he went up to the house where he had played Tchaikovsky the year before he again saw a piece of paper. Now it read:
"Mrs. Smith (Toscanini's pupil). Music Lessons. Four Dollars a Lesson"
A Great Painter and a Great Doctor
Joseph Turner was a great English painter. He had a dog which he loved very much. One day he was playing with his dog. The dog fell and broke his leg. Turner sent for a doctor. But he did not want to send for a vet.1 He sent for the best doctor in London.
When the doctor came Turner said, "Doctor, I"m glad you have come. My dog has broken a leg. I know that you are too great for this work, but please, do it. It"s so important to me."
The doctor was angry but he did not show it.
Next day the doctor asked Turner to come to his house. "The doctor wants to see me about my dog," Turner thought.
When Turner got to the doctor"s house the doctor said, "Mr Turner, I"m glad to see you. I want to. ask you to paint my door. I know that you are too great for this work, but please, do it. It"s so important to me."
The Policeman and the Thief
In a small town a man stole1 some money from a house. The police began to look for the thief. Soon they found him and brought him to the police station.
There was a new policeman at the police station and they wanted to give him some work.
"Take this thief to the city," said one of the policemen. "You must go there by train."
The policeman and the thief went to the station. On their way to the station they came to the shop where the bread was sold
"We have no food and we must eat something in the train," said th° thief. "It"s a long way to the city and it"ll take us a long time to get there. I"ll go into the shop and buy some bread. Then you and I can eat in the train. Wait for me here."
The policeman was glad to have some food in the train. "Be quick," he said to the thief, "we don"t have much time."
The thief went into the shop and the policeman waited in the street for a long time. At last he went into the shop.
"Where is the man who came in here to buy some bread?" asked the policeman
"Oh, he went out the back door," said the owner of the shop.
The policeman ran out but he could not see the thief. So he went to the police station and told the others about it. They were very angry with him. All the police of the town began to look for the thief again and soon they found him. They brought him back to the police station and called the same policeman.
"Now," said one of them, "take him to the city and do not lose him again."
The policeman and the thief went to the station and came up to the same shop.
"Wait here," said the thief. "I want to go into the shop and buy some bread there."
"Oh, no," said the policeman, "you did that once and ran away. Now I"ll go into the shop and you"ll wait for me here."
Not a Robber
A young man who lived in the suburbs" of a big English city was going home from the railway station. It was a dark night and there was nobody in the street. Suddenly he heard somebody walking behind him. The faster he went, the faster the man ran after him. At last he decided to turn into a small street to see what the man would do.2 After a few minutes he looked back and saw that the man was still running after him.
"He wants to rob me," the young man thought. He saw a high garden wall and jumped over it. The other man jumped over the wall too. Now the young man was sure that the man behind him was a robber. But he could not understand why the robber was not in a hurry2 to attack him.
The young man did not know what to do. Then he turned round and said, "What do you want? Why are you following me?"
"Do you always go home in this way? Or are you taking some exercise today?" answered the man. "I"m going to Mr White, but I don"t know where he lives. A man at the railway station told me to follow you, because I could find his house very easily as Mr White lives next door to you. Will you go home or will you do some more gymnastics?"
The Mouse and the Corn
Many, many years ago there lived a king who said that anyone who could tell a story for two years would get1 a piece of land.
First one man tried but his story lasted only two weeks. Another man finished his story after five days. A third man began his story like this:
"Once a farmer planted some corn. When the corn grew the farmer gathered it and put it into a shed. Then the mouse came into the shed and began to eat the corn."
The man went on, "The mouse took a grain of corn, the mouse took a grain of corn, the mouse took a grain of corn..."
The King interrupted the story, "Well, what was after this?"
"I can"t tell you," answered the man, "because the mouse hasn"t finished eating the corn yet."
"All right," said the king, "you will get a piece of land."
For Those Who Like to Travel
One day a Paris newspaper gave an advertisement3 about a very cheap4 and pleasant way of travel - for 25 centimes.5 Many people believed it and sent the money.
A few days later each of them got a letter. The letter read: "Sir, rest in bed and remember that the Earth turns. Paris stands at the 49th parallel. At the 49th parallel you travel more than 25,000 kilometers a, day. You may look out of the window and watch the beautiful sky "
A Clever Fisherman
A fisherman brought a very large fish to a rich man"s house. The rich man asked the fisherman to name his price for the fish. "I don"t want money," was the answer. "One hundred lashes on my back is the price of my fish. I won't take one lash less!"
The rich man was surprised and said, "Well, this fisherman is very strange, but we must have the fish. So let the price be paid."
After fifty lashes the fisherman cried, "Stop! Stop! I have a partner in my business and he must get his part, too." "Where can I find him?" asked the rich man.
"He"s your own servant. He didn"t want to let me come into your house till I promised to give him half of the price of the fish."
Two Brothers
Once there were two brothers, Peter and Bernard. Both of them liked to ride horses. One day they both went to buy a horse. Bernard bought a horse and Peter bought a horse, too.
"Oh, dear!" said Bernard. "How are we going to tell our horses apart? How shall I know which is my horse and which is your horse?"
"It isn't difficult," said Peter, "you cut the tail of your horse shorter than that of mine."
So Bernard cut the tail of his horse and now they could see which horse was his. But then the tail of Bernard's horse grew and the brothers began to think again.
"I know!" said Bernard. "You cut the mane of your horse very short and so we"ll see which horse is yours."
But soon the mane of his horse grew.
"Do you know what we must do?" asked Peter. "We must see whose horse is longer. Perhaps, one is longer than the other."
And at last they found that the black horse was three centimeters longer than the white horse.
Quick Thinking
One night a hotel caught fire1 and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes.
Two men were standing near the hotel and looking at the fire. "Before I came out," said one of them, "I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money there. People don"t think about money when they are in panic. When paper money gets into a fire, the fire burns it. So I took all the paper money that I could find. No one will be poorer because I took it."
"You don"t know me," said the other man, "and you don"t know what I am."
"And where do you work?"
"I'm a policeman."
"Oh!" cried the first man. He thought quickly and then he said, "And do you know what I am?"
"No," said the policeman.
"I"m a writer. I "m always telling stories about things that never took place."
We at Lingvistov often say that our task is to learn English in an interesting way. When you are captivated by the process itself and you see its meaning, then you will undoubtedly learn English quickly and painlessly. Therefore, we decided to diversify everyday life, filled with grammar and boring educational texts, and offer a selection of jokes in English! Funny stories in English will help you develop your language skills, expand your vocabulary and simply improve your mood.
Woops Sorry About That
Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong.
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
Bad Date Joke
“Hi Sarah, listen I just have a minute. I’m about to get picked up for a blind date, can you call me in a half hour just in case it’s going bad? Yes? Ok great! We'll speak.” Raquel gave herself a quick spray of perfume, checked herself out one more time in the mirror, and headed outside to wait for the guy. Sure enough after twenty minutes Raquel was discreetly checking her watch. After ten more long minutes her phone finally buzzed. Raquel listened for a few seconds, grimly pursed her lips, and turned to her date, “I feel terrible, but my Grandmother is terribly sick, and I must go home now.” “No problem!” Said her date with a big grin, “in a few more minutes my dog was going to get run over!”
The child and his mother
A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”
The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!”
The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmother has only gray hairs on her head.”
Homework
PUPIL – “Would you punish me for something I didn’t do?”
TEACHER – “Of course not.”
PUPIL – “Good, because I haven`t done my homework.”
* * *
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother"s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog.
* * *
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
* * *
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.
Math, Physics, & Philosophy
Dean, to the physics department. "Why do I always have to give you guys so much money, for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff. Why couldn't you be like the math department - all they need is money for pencils, paper and waste-paper baskets. Or even better, like the philosophy department. All they need are pencils and paper."
Mental Patient
John and David were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day, while they were walking, they passed the hospital swimming pool and John suddenly dove into the deep end. He sank to the bottom and stayed there. David promptly jumped in and saved him, swimming to the bottom of the pool and pulling John out. The medical director came to know of David's heroic act. He immediately ordered that David be discharged from the hospital as he now considered him to be OK. The doctor said, "David, we have good news and bad news for you! The good news is that we are going to discharge you because you have regained your sanity. Since you were able to jump in and save another patient, you must be mentally stable. The bad news is that the patient that you saved hung himself in the bathroom and died after all." David replied, "Doctor, John didn't hang himself. I hung him there to dry."
News Stand
A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, "Read all about it. Fifty people swindled! Fifty people swindled!" Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper, and checked the front page. What he saw yesterday"s paper. The man said, "Hey, this is an old paper, where"s the story about the big swindle?" The newsboy ignored him and went on calling out, “Read all about it. Fifty-one people swindled!”
School Question
Mother: "Why are you home from school so early?"
Doctor: Could you pay for an operation if I thought that it was necessary?
Patient: Would you think the operation was necessary if I couldn't pay for it?
Teacher: Tom, your homework, in which you wrote about a cat, is very much like your brother's story. How is that?
Tom: Nothing strange about that, we have only one cat at home.
Little Girl: Mother, my cat can talk.
Little Girl: I ask her what is two minus two and she says nothing.
Mother: What are you jumping up and down for, Paul?
Paul: I took my medicine and forgot to shake the bottle.
Hello! Is that Ted Wells?
Yes. Who is speaking?
Who? I don't hear.
I say Sam: Sid, Ada, Mary. Do you hear?
Yes, I do. But which of you three is speaking now?
Mother: You are seven today. Happy birthday to you, Tommy.
Tommy: Thank you, Mummy.
Mother: Do you like to have a cake with seven candles on it for your birthday par-ty?
Tommy: I think I better have seven cakes and one candle, Mummy.
Tourist: Excuse me, but does this bus stop at Tenth Street?
Passenger: Yes. Watch me and get of one station before I do.
Tourist: Thank you.
Are you still looking for your dog, Bill?
Why don't you put an advertisement in the paper?
What's the use! The dog can't read.
The waitress brought the soup to everyone in the dining-room of a small hotel. Mr. Smith got the last plate, and the waitress remained for a moment beside his table; she was looking out of the window.
“It looks like rain,” she said.
“Yes,” said Mr. Smith (he had tasted the soup), “and it tastes like rain too.”
Mr. Gray was on holiday by the sea. He was staying in a small hotel but it was not about good hotel. The meals were very small. One day he sat down to dinner. His plate looked wet. He held it up to the waiter and said, “This plate is wet. Please bring me another.” “That's your soup, sir,” replied the waiter.
At last the visitor had to say something about food.
“I don't like this pie, Mrs. Fiddles,” he said. “Oh, don't you?” said the angry landlady. “I was making pies before you were born.” “Perhaps this is one of them.”
“I"m doing very well in my driving lessons,” Betty said. “Yesterday I went 50 miles per hour. Tomorrow I"m going to try to open my eyes when I pass another car.”
The policeman stopped a woman driver for going too fast.
“When I saw you coming round that corner, I said to myself, “At least 45” the officer told her.
“Well,” was the answer. “I always look older in this hat.”
“Why were you driving too fast, madam?” the policeman asked.
“My breaks aren't very good,” she answered, “and I was hurrying home before I had an accident
A gentleman was sitting quietly in a first-class compartment. Two ladies got in. One of them saw that the window was open, and she shut it
before sitting down.
“Open it again,” said the second lady. “I"ll die of suffocation if there is no fresh air.”
“I won’t open it,” said the first lady. “I”ll die of cold if the window is open.”
A quarrel started, and it continued until the gentleman-spoke:
“Let"s have the window shut until this lady has died of suffocation, and then we can have it open until this lady has died of cold. After that it will be nice and quiet in here again.”
The young doctor had just finished his train-ing. He didn't know what the patient's illness was.
“Have you had this before?” he asked.
“Yes, doctor.”
“Oh! Well! You"ve got it again.”
John Smith couldn't sleep, so his doctor gave him some sleeping pills. He took a pill that night.
He felt well when he woke up, and he went to work cheerfully.
“I slept very well last night,” he told his boss.
“That's good,” his boss said. “But where were you yesterday?”
“My boyfriend is wonderful,” said Helen. “He is rather nice, I must say,” said Kate. “He tells everyone that he is going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world,” said Helen.
“I am so sorry,” said Kate. “Perhaps he will change his mind and marry you after all.”
When a girl shows a ring and says that she is going to be married, it is usual to ask: “Who"s the lucky man?” It"s a silly question because everyone knows that the lucky man is her fa-ther.
“I love you so much! Do you think you could live on my salary?”
“Of course I could. But what would you live on?”
Mr. Brown finished his breakfast. Then he asked the waiter to bring the manager of the hotel.
"Yes, sir, what can I do for you?" said the manager when he arrived.
"You must have a very clean kitchen here," said Mr. Brown.
“That is very kind of you to say so, sir,” said the manager. “But what makes you think we have a very clean kitchen?”
"Well," replied Mr. Brown, "everything tastes of soap."
"What"s the meaning of this fly in my
"I don't know, sir. I "m a waiter, not a fortune teller."
A man was just finishing his lunch in a restaurant. The waitress asked if he would like coffee.
"Yes, please," he replied.
The waitress went away but came back quickly and asked, "With cream or with-out, sir?"
"Without cream," he replied.
Then, after a much longer wait, the waitress returned. "I'm very sorry," she said. "There is no more cream." Will you have it without milk?"
Little Tommy liked to ask questions. One day he asked his father one more question. His father did not know the answer. "Don"t ask me so many ques-tions," he said. "You have already asked me nearly a hundred questions today. I didn't ask my father half as many ques-tions."
"Well, Daddy, perhaps you would know more of the answers to my questions if you had asked more," said Tommy.
Mr. and Mrs. White had a very good table in their dining-room. It was made of the best wood. WhenMr. and Mrs. Brown visited the Whites, little Tommy White was hammering nail after nail into the costly table.
"Isn't that a rather expensive game?" Mr. Brown asked.
"Oh, no," Mr. White answered. "I get the nails at the shop on the corner. They are really quite cheap."
Billy didn't ask for a cake. He reached past the lady visitor and took one.
"Billy!" said his mother sharply. "Haven't you got a tongue?"
"Yes, Mum," Billy replied. "But it won't reach as far as the cakes."
How Many Were There?
The police in a big city were looking for a robber. One day they caught him and took him to prison. But while they were taking photo-graphs of him - from the front, from the left, from the right, with a hat, without a hat - he suddenly attacked the policeman and ran away.
Then a week later the telephone rank in the police-station, and somebody said, “You’re looking-ing for Bill Cross, aren’t you?”
“Well, he left here for Waterbridge an hour ago.”
Waterbridge was a small town 100 miles from the city. The city police immediately sent four different photographs of the robber to the police in Waterbridge. Less than twelve hours later they got a telephone call from the police in Waterbridge. “We have caught three of the men,” they said happily, “and we hope to catch the fourth this evening.”
The Sea on Strike
Many years ago, a London theater performed a play with a terrible storm at sea in one of the scenes. The waves were made by some boys who jumped up and down under a large piece of green cloth. Each boy received a shilling a night for his work.
The play was very popular and the hall was usually full. But the director of the theater wanted to make still more money from the performances, and he decided to lower the boys" pay from a shilling to sixpence. This made the boys angry, and they decided to go on strike for a shilling a night.
During the next performance, when the storm began, there was enough loud noise on the stage, but the sea was absolutely calm, not one wave could be seen. The theater director immediately ran behind the stage, raised a corner of the green cloth and shouted, “Waves! Waves! Why aren't you making waves?!” One of the boys sitting under the cloth asked him, “Do you want sixpenny waves or shilling waves?”
“All right, all right!” the director said. “I"ll give you a shilling, only give me the waves!”
Tremendous waves immediately began to appear on the sea, and everyone agreed that they had never seen a better storm in the theater.
An Anecdote About Mark Twain
One of Mark Twain's hobbies was fish-ing, and he used to go fishing even in the closed season when fishing was not al-lowed. Like many fishermen, he some-times invented stories about the number of fish he caught.
One day during the closed season, Mark Twain sat fishing under a little bridge. A man crossing the bridge saw him fishing there. The man stood watching Mark Twain fishing, and then he asked, “Have you caught many fish?”
“Not yet,” Mark Twain answered. “I"ve just begun. But yesterday I caught thirty big fish here.”
“That's very interesting,” the man said. “Do you know who I am?”
“No,” Mark Twain said. “I don"t think I ever saw you before."
“I"m the fishing inspector for this dis-trict," the man said.
“And do you know who I am?” Mark Twain asked quickly.
“No, of course not,” said the inspector.
“I am the biggest liar on the Mississip-pi,” Mark Twain told him.
Tea Leaves
There was a time when drinking tea was almost unknown in European countries; many people had never even heard of tea. This anecdote is about an old woman and her son, who lived at that time.
The woman's son was a sailor, and every time he returned from a far-away country, he brought his mother a gift. Naturally, he tried to bring something unusual that she could show to her friends.
Once, the young man came back from India with a box of tea for his mother. She didn't know anything about tea, but she liked the smell, and invited all her friends to come and taste it. When her son came into the room, he saw cakes and fruit and sweets on the table, and a big plate filled with tea-leaves. His mother and her friends were sitting round the table, eating the leaves with butter and salt. Though they all smiled, it was clear that they didn't enjoy eating the leaves.
“Where is tea, Mother?” the sailor asked.
His mother pointed to the plate in the middle of the table.
“No, no, that is only the leaves of the tea,” the sailor said. “Where is the water?”
“The water!” his mother said. “I threw the water away, of course! out of the set!” He smiled to himself, lit his pipe and began reading his favorite book
Some vocabulary for telling stories in English.
Hello everyone! Have you ever tried to tell a story in English? I'm betting yes! When you are just talking with your friend, for example, of course you want to tell him about what happened to you and what is new in your life. This is quite natural and we do it every time we talk to people.
In this article I would like to tell you a little story, just make something up for you. And then we'll look together at some interesting points and phrases that I'll use.
History in English.
So here's the story:
« Other day I went to the cinema. I had plenty of time till the next train home. So I made up my mind to watch that new movie by Quentin Tarantino which was called “Django Unchained”. To be honest, I’m not a big fan of westerns, but I'm crazy about all the Tarantino's movies! So I just couldn’t miss it! What's more, I had so much free time that I could watch even two movies!
When I came to the cinema it turned out they didn’t have the tickets for “Django Unchained”. I was really upset. But it was not a surprise, because the cinema was so crowded and it was the premiere, so all the tickets had been bought away very quickly. So the only thing I could do was just to seat and wait for my train. I went to the nearest fast foodand had a bite there.
For some reason I decided to come back to the cinema and ask them one more time about tickets for “Django Unchained”. Believe it or not, but they said that they really had the last ticket! The point was somebody had just returned his ticket, because he couldn’t watch the movie in that time. I was so glad! So that day I managed to watch "Django Unchained"! The movie was great, I liked that! After it finished I came back to the Railway Station and went home!
I was lucky that day for sure!»
“The other day I went to the cinema. I had plenty of time before the next train home. So I decided to watch a new movie from Quentin Tarantino called Django Unchained. To be honest, I'm not a big fan of Westerns, but I'm crazy about Tarantino's films! So I just couldn't miss it! Moreover, I had so much time that I could even watch two films.
When I got to the theater, they didn't have any tickets for Django Unchained. I was really upset. But this was not surprising, because the cinema was filled with people, and it was the premiere, so all the tickets were sold out very quickly. So the only thing I could do was just sit and wait for my train. I went to the nearest fast food and had a snack.
For some reason, I decided to go back to the theater and ask them about tickets again. Believe it or not, they actually had one ticket! The thing is, someone just got their ticket back because they couldn't go to that show! I was very glad! So I got to watch Django Unchained that day! The movie is great, I liked it! After it ended, I returned to the station and went home!
Without a doubt, I was lucky that day!”
Colloquial phrases from the text.
Despite the fact that the meaning of the highlighted phrases is already clear from the translation, I will still give a few more examples with them below:
The first phrase - "other day". It means "very recently, one or two days ago, the other day." For example:
Other day I passed the exam.
(The other day I passed the exam)
Other day I went to the bank.
(I recently went to the bank)
"Plenty of time". It means "to have a lot of time." And not only time. For example:
I had plenty of time to do that.
(I had plenty of time)
I had plenty of opportunities.
(I had a lot of opportunities)
I have plenty of books.
(I have a lot of books)
"I made up my mind". It means "I have decided."
to make up smb mind - decide, make a decision.
I made up my mind to go to University.
(I decided to go to university)
I made up my mind to stay home.
(I decided to stay home)
« To be honest." The phrase means "To tell the truth, to be honest." For example:
To be honest, I don’t like you.
(Honestly, I don't like you)
To be honest, I don’t know where to go.
(Honestly, I don't know where to go)
« I’m crazy about.”
“To be crazy about something” means to be crazy about something, to really adore it.
I'm crazy about English.
(I'm crazy about English)
« What's more? The phrase means "moreover, there is more":
What’s more, I like swimming!
(Moreover, I love swimming!)
What’s more, he is our friend!
(Moreover, he is our friend!)
"I t turned out." A cool phrase that means “It turned out...”:
It turned out, we are lazy.
(It turned out that we are lazy)
It turned out, he was wrong.
(It turned out he was wrong)
« "had a bite."
“To have a bite” means “to have a bite.” A simple and good phrase:
Yesterday I had a bite at the cafe.
(Yesterday I had a snack in a cafe)
Let's have a bite!
(Let's have a snack!)
« For some reason." It means "for some reason, for some reason." For example:
For some reason, I've done it.
(For some reason, I did it)
For some reason, I didn’t ask him about it.
(For some reason I didn't ask him about this)
For some reason, I don’t like this song.
(For some reason I don't like this song)
« Believe it or not" — believe it or not.
Believe it or not, but I know what I saw!
(Believe it or not, I know what I saw!)" The point is..." — the thing is...
The point is I like you!
(The point is that I like you!)
The point is you should learn English hard!
(The point is that you should study English hard)
“I managed to...” A cool phrase that means “I succeeded, I succeeded”:
I managed to visit that museum.
(I was able to visit that museum)
I managed to buy the best seats.
(I managed to buy the best seats)
"For sure"- undoubtedly:
I like this game for sure.
(No doubt I like this game)
For sure I'll be there.
(I'll definitely be there)
That's it, friends. I hope that you will use these phrases in your own and develop your English.
Carry on and take care of yourself!
» How to tell a story?