How to maintain composure and not spoil your nerves. Self-control is the art of controlling oneself in a tense environment.

Self-control, in essence, is a person’s internal ability to be calm, regardless of external circumstances. In other words, this is the ability to maintain sober judgment and not give in to emotions in stressful situations. The habit of maintaining self-control is most often instilled from an early age.

Endurance and self-control

Endurance and self-control go hand in hand, and the second directly depends on the first. Self-control is characterized by unshakable self-control, both in the face of long-term stimuli (be it monotonous and monotonous work or prolonged pain) and short-term ones. It is this aspect of self-control that can be called endurance. For a person who has this quality, there is no problem of controlling his speech, his body movements or emotional manifestations. Consistency is characteristic not only as a passive quality, i.e. the ability to overcome the influence of external factors, but also as an active one, namely the ability to restrain some of one’s impulses in order to achieve one’s specific goal.

Self-control is an important part of such a thing as self-control. It is also complemented by such characteristics as courage and determination.

Self-control in particular and self-control in general are one of the most important pillars of leadership. For a true leader, it is important not only to restrain external emotional impulses, but also to generally maintain a “cool mind” in any situation, not to react to provocations and always find a point of peace within oneself, even while being in the core of a raging hurricane of events.

The concept of self-control is inextricably linked with such things as self-control and self-regulation. The factor of having such a quality is also influenced by the ratio of intelligence and affect.

The Art of Self-Control

Being in close proximity to the ability to find tact in communication between people, as well as with patience and even tolerance as such, the art of self-control allows a person to perform certain actions in accordance with a volitional and rational decision, and not succumbing to the emotional and sensual component. This is the path not only to self-control, but also to achieving those leadership qualities that can captivate other people. This state allows you to overcome doubts at the everyday level, restrain your impulses when necessary and combat all manifestations of fear in emergency situations. The art of self-control is expressed in the ability to make firm and balanced decisions, thanks to which a truly strong-willed human nature is revealed.

There are several embodiments of self-control. First of all, it's patience. It allows you to restrain the destructive attempts of any inconvenience and obstacles. Next, abstinence, as the ability to give up harmful habits and cultivate useful behavioral standards. Inner calm also plays an important role in self-control. And of course self-discipline.

How to Maintain Composure

For many people, especially those who are overly emotional, self-control is an extremely difficult skill to implement. Some are unable to control themselves without disrupting the functioning of their nervous system.

The cause of emotional outbursts is most often the influence of hormones. However, despite all the similarities in physiological structure, one person does not even face the question of how to maintain self-control, since for him this happens naturally and naturally. For another individual, this is an unbearable burden, which is associated with the need to use all his willpower.

First of all, there is an educational and social factor here. In some families or even communities, self-control is cultivated in a person from a very early age. For others, emotional outbursts are considered the norm and do not go beyond social prohibitions. If we take two people from different cultural environments, we will see a big difference between their behavioral reactions to a particular event, especially when it comes to stressful situations.

In addition to sociocultural influence, a very important factor is the physiological state of a person, as well as the number of psychological factors of influence and their quality that he will need to overcome. So, for example, an individual who has not slept for several days, has eaten little and is in an emotional confrontation with another person will find it very difficult to maintain complete self-control.

Despite the fact that these qualities have a positive effect on the ability to hide your real feelings and control your behavior, they also have a number of negative aspects. It is so widely known that sensual torment driven inside, which does not receive proper implementation, gradually wears out the nervous system.

Thus, an important factor in self-control is the ability not only to restrain the influx of negative emotions, but also to find ways to sublimate such states, which can be implemented in a variety of ways: be it extreme sports, computer games, or even sex.

So, the main factor in self-control is not the suppression of your emotions as such, but control over their implementation. The individual needs to look for forms of sublimation of internal experiences accepted in his social environment. Do not break dishes in the event of aggression, but find the realization of your hidden anger in order to pose head-on questions that would normally be difficult to resolve. In other words, divert the energy of the conflict towards its resolution, rather than confrontation with the person who brought it.

There are times when this cannot be done. Then active rest comes to the rescue. Particularly swimming, running or contact sports. Oriental practices such as yoga, tai chi or meditation can also be very useful.

Thus, self-discipline plays an important role in the implementation of self-control, since it is this quality that allows one to divert the accumulated negative energy of conflict from its implementation, which contradicts the norms of the surrounding society.

How to develop self-control

So how do you develop self-control? There are three main methods:

1. Ignoring. In this case, the source of irritation is simply ignored.
2. Postponement. This method is quite popular and consists in the fact that you need to insert some pause between fixing the stimulus and reacting to it. For example, count to ten.
3. Switching. Everything here is also quite simple. It is necessary to simply instantly switch your attention from the area of ​​irritation to another area.

The ability to find some point of peace for your consciousness can also be called extremely useful. Rest is necessary not only for our body, but our consciousness also needs it no less. To do this, an imaginary place is created into which a person can go from a state of relaxation, and which will help him cope with psychological fatigue.

In any situation, maintain inner calm and make reasonable, informed decisions even in difficult circumstances. A popular synonym for this concept is restraint. It is generally accepted that it is also a personality quality, a special character trait that indicates a person’s ability to control himself, which is valued in modern society, but is not characteristic of everyone.

Quality formation

Self-control is a character trait that you can instill in yourself. But not without difficulty. To form it, a person must be distinguished by courage, determination and endurance. Without the ability to control your movements and behavior, nothing will happen. People who are characterized by self-control are not only those individuals who are able to control themselves and their own speech. In addition to everything, they manage to refrain from unconscious actions, control their desires, achieve their goals and give up something when necessary.

Such people successfully suppress emotions such as anger, fear, pain, fatigue. They are not prone to impulsive actions. They manage to maintain composure even in the most ambiguous situations. Which is undoubtedly difficult, given the pace and dynamism of life in modern society.

The art of self-control

This is often what psychologists call the quality in question. However, it is quite possible to call such a property as self-control art. The meaning of the word has been mentioned above, but this is only a short definition of it. The art of self-control implies a person’s ability to act rationally. But people are social creatures. And in most cases, our actions are more emotional than rational. The ability to listen to the mind, and not to the heart, can well be considered an art, or even a talent.

Such people are patient - they endure inconveniences and difficulties. They manage to abstain from harmful (often very desirable) things in favor of useful ones. They are calm, balanced, calm. They also have a “core”. Even at the moment of the most tempting temptations and severe trials of life, they remain faithful and devoted to what is valuable to them.

In addition, self-control makes it possible to rule not only over oneself, but also over other people. A rational person who sees the world through the prism of self-confidence and calm is usually listened to.

Self-control

Everything described above can be understood by every person interested in the question “Self-control - what is it?” But some people have this quality, while others do not.

This is because it manifests itself at moments of emotional peak tension, which are accompanied by complex chemical processes in the body, as well as a kind of “response” of the brain and endocrine system to stress. Take, for example, an ordinary family quarrel. For some, it develops into a real scandal with breaking dishes, slapping and swearing. For others, everything is resolved in a few minutes with a calm conversation. It's just that some people are more balanced and less impressionable. Therefore, they are able to cope with stressful situations without any special shocks to the nervous system.

Individual characteristics

It is difficult to overestimate such a quality as self-control. Its meaning is important, since it is this character trait that can help a person make his existence easier in modern society.

But an individual’s ability to control himself depends on individual behavioral stereotypes, which include social and cultural attitudes instilled in a person from early childhood. We all regularly notice that something that is categorically unacceptable for some people is considered the norm for others. And therefore, it is not surprising that in identical situations individuals react differently.

Matter of habit

People develop immunity to everything. And stressful situations are no exception. A simple example can be given. If a person works with people for a long time and actively, then he is not surprised by their different behavior, emotional outbursts, different reactions to something. He was used to this, and he just didn’t see anything. And if at some point in everyday life he happens to encounter an aggressive, evil person, then most likely he will only brush him off, saying a couple of appropriate words, and forget about what happened.

But an individual who is accustomed to peace and tranquility in interpersonal relationships will behave differently in a similar situation. It is unlikely that it will happen without worries, a heightened, excited tone and subsequent reflections on what happened. And there are thousands of similar examples.

Well, based on everything mentioned above, we can draw a conclusion. Self-control is not just a character trait. This is an indicator of the social and emotional maturity of an individual, the presence of which greatly facilitates a person’s life in society.

When applying for a job, you can often encounter such a selection criterion as “stress resistance.” Its synonyms include the presence of self-control, the ability to show restraint in a tense situation. Why does a person need such qualities? In fact, problems and stressful situations arise not only in the work sphere, but also in other areas of life. And the art of self-control needs to be learned by everyone who wants to develop and live happily.

In simple words, the online magazine site calls it the ability to control one’s own experiences and emotions at the moment when pressure is applied to a person. This situation is often faced by people who have jobs that involve communicating with clients, as well as public figures. Criticism, dissatisfaction, anger - all this provokes people to start conflicts. And often a person needs to forget about what he can manifest, since it is not included in his list of work responsibilities.

If we take the sphere of interpersonal relationships, then the ability to withstand a stressful situation also plays a big role. For example, a man finds out about his wife’s infidelity, so to speak, catching everyone in the act. In order not to commit a criminal act, when you want to beat or even kill traitors, a man must pull himself together.

A person periodically encounters situations that instantly throw him off track. Emotions begin to boil over. However, quite often emotions prevent a person from making decisions that would help him solve a problem. Moreover, in order not to fall on his face, to show willpower and endurance, a person has to restrain his emotions, while others can show them and commit irreparable acts.

Emotions interfere with calm and constructive communication. This is why self-control is required, which in some fields and circles is considered an important quality. What it is and how to develop it, we will consider further.

What is self-control?

Self-control is the ability of a person to remain calm in any difficult situation. In this way, self-control is developed, you are not born with it. Its development can be done at any age. Although the easiest way to become a stress-resistant person is to cultivate this quality from childhood.

Self-control is the ability to pull yourself together, as well as:

1. Control your own and others' emotions.
2. Make informed decisions.
3. React quickly and adequately assess the situation.
4. Stay calm and confident.
5. Maintain stability despite the pressure that is placed on the person.

Self-control can be compared to the strength of a tree that sways, but continues to stand in its place, despite the force of the wind that is exerted on it. The wind uproots weak trees and carries them wherever it is convenient for them. And strong, strong trees continue to stand in place, despite the fact that they are shaken very strongly.

A person, if he has self-control, can also hesitate, worry, and experience negative emotions and impulses inside. However, he remembers at the most critical moment that he has a goal. And to achieve it, you need to take specific actions and solve problems, and not aggravate the situation.

It can be said that one of the ways to develop self-control is to set goals. Moreover, this goal should be very important and meaningful for a person. At the most difficult moment, a person is asked to remember what goal he is striving for. And this will allow him to moderate his ardor in order to find the right words and perform exactly those actions that are needed in his situation.

Endurance and self-control

Although self-control and restraint are synonymous, they still have different meanings:

• Endurance is a person’s ability to insist on one’s own and overcome any external pressure.
• Self-control is the quality by which a person is able to restrain his emotions in a stressful situation.

Both qualities develop in a person at any age, which also depends on the person’s desire to achieve his goal. Both qualities help an individual become a successful person because they allow him to demonstrate:

1. The ability to control your actions, that is, not to act impulsively. This means that a person commits those actions that will lead him to the desired result, and he will never be ashamed of them.
2. The ability to control your speech, which in the modern world is becoming one of the ways to achieve success. A person can convince, insist, persuade others who may be emotional.
3. Ability to remain calm. Moreover, with self-control, a person’s mood does not deteriorate just because someone yelled at him or called him names. He knows how to be cool-headed to temporary circumstances.
4. The ability to agree or refuse. A person decides for himself what he needs and what he should refuse. It is not the emotions of fear that dictate him to run away and refuse, it is not the feeling of guilt that prompts him to perform certain actions, but the person himself decides what to agree with and what to refuse.
5. The ability to be patient and resilient. It often takes a long time to achieve a goal. Often you have to do work that you don't like. All this does not cause moral labor for a person who understands why he “got into bondage” and is gradually moving towards it.
6. The ability to endure adversity and hardship. And without them, not a single process occurs. A person cannot avoid difficulties when he is deprived of something or encounters troubles.

Self-control depends on the intellectual development of a person who knows how to set priorities, remembers his desires, and also constantly trains his skills to restrain emotions when they interfere with achieving what he wants.

The Art of Self-Control

Why does a person need self-control? This art should be learned only because man is a social being who is constantly in contact with other people. Self-control is maintaining inner calm in a situation where a person is being pressured, attacked or insulted by other people. And such situations happen quite a lot in everyone’s life.

A successful person is one who is able not to react to the attacks of others, but to continue to feel calm and act in accordance with his desires. Quite often, those around you are in a bad mood, overly self-confident, consider others entitled, demand something, give unnecessary advice, limit personal freedom and interfere in a person’s personal affairs. In other words, those around you can be called the “enemies” of your life, in which you are always in a good mood, act the way you want, and live in accordance with your desires. People around you are constantly trying to tell you how to live and what to think.

If we take the sphere of work, then people working with clients are often faced with a misunderstanding of the essence of the company’s work, dissatisfaction with the quality of services or goods. Thus, self-control is remaining calm in a moment of conflict with another person. Here you can:

1. Listening to someone else's opinion and finding a constructive solution, which requires endurance.
2. Insist on your own, without hearing someone else’s opinion, which does not require self-control. However, often in this case the conflict remains, continues for a long time and leaves each party to their own opinion.

Self-control is an art that is expressed in the following forms:

• Patience - calmly enduring all adversity and difficulties.
• Equanimity.
• Self-discipline.
• Calm is an inner feeling of peace.
• Abstinence is the ability to refuse harmful things.
• Perseverance is maintaining one’s position despite emerging obstacles and difficulties, temptations and weaknesses.

How to maintain composure?

To maintain composure, you need several factors that contribute to this:

1. Be rested. It is difficult for a person to maintain composure if he is tired, irritated or worried.
2. Be healthy. Often, diseases physically deplete the body, which is why a person also becomes psychologically weak.
3. Be able to let go of negativity. Negative emotions arise in a situation that forces a person to maintain self-control. If you cannot respond to the offender in such a way as to achieve the goal and throw out the negativity, then you need to find other ways to relieve negative emotions when the situation no longer exists.

To maintain self-control, a person needs to begin to focus on the situation that is happening to him, and not on the emotions that arise in him. Self-control is lost when a person concentrates on his own outrage. He then begins to behave in such a way that the interlocutor understands that he should not be communicated or treated that way. However, this tactic leads to the fact that the interlocutor also begins to stand his ground: “Don’t tell me how to communicate!”

Self-control is concentration on the problem. We push emotions aside, let them rage, and you concentrate on the motives of your opponent’s behavior, your goal that you want to achieve, the desires of both parties, ways to get out of the situation in such a way as to help yourself and not offend your opponent.

In other words, ask yourself in a stressful situation the question: “Why do I need this?”:

1. Why do you need to worry?
2. Why do you need to argue with a person?
3. What will your actions, whatever you decide to do, lead to?
4. Why would you waste time and energy arguing? Etc.

How to develop self-control?

Self-control needs to be developed; you are not born with it. And several exercises will help with this:

• Ignore external stimuli. Imagine that there is transparent glass between you and the outside world. You are not in danger. All noises, screams and indignation are very hard to hear. Through the glass nothing touches or touches you. Now it's up to you to decide what to pay attention to.
• Relax. When a quarrel or conflict develops, try to concentrate on calming down and relaxing. You're really not in any danger (unless a brick falls on you or you drown). This means that you should concentrate on your own calm while conflicts are occurring around you.
• Take your time before you react. Play the so-called idiot when you react late to the fact that threats, negative emotions, etc. are sent to you. You have been insulted, but you look at the person blankly, do not react. Allow yourself to think about how you should respond to what is said.

How to ultimately maintain composure?

In a stressful situation, remember that your actions will lead to certain results. What do you want to achieve in the end when you complete all the actions? Do what suits your desires. At the same time, accept your feelings that are raging within you. Accepting does not mean manifesting. Understand that you are angry, resentful, or hateful. There is nothing wrong. Allow your emotions to be present in order to maintain composure, which will facilitate taking the actions you need.

Endurance and self-control are integral components of success in any field of activity. If a person does not know how to manage his emotions, it will be difficult for him to achieve significant results in life. Self-control is such a characteristic personality feature that allows him to overcome obstacles and obstacles on the way to his own goal. If people learned to trust themselves more, they would be more willing to make plans and look to the future with more confidence. This article reveals the essence of self-control, allows you to see what it consists of and how it should be developed.

Definition of the concept

Self-control is a personal trait that develops as a result of fruitful work on oneself. No one is born so strong and rational as to be able to immediately overcome their own emotions. However, this can and should be learned.

Self-control is, to some extent, a condition for seeing one’s own prospects. Anyone who is so insecure that he cannot identify individual values ​​and dreams is incapable of managing his emotional state.

Ability to be honest

Why is sincerity so important here? Oddly enough, it matters how open a person can be both to himself and to the people around him. The most important thing is to learn not to deceive yourself, not to try to make excuses in some difficult situations. Anyone who is honest with himself has great endurance and a sound mind. Sincerity is also good for developing self-control. After all, if we are aware of everything that happens to us, then it becomes much easier to work with our feelings and develop strengths. In this case, self-control is as important as the ability to admit your own mistakes.

Responsible approach

A sense of reliability is as important for the development of personality as knowledge of the rules of etiquette and behavior in a certain situation. Responsibility is precisely formed from the inner vision that everything will be fine. Few, unfortunately, are able to feel such strength within themselves. When a person takes responsibility for everything that happens to him, then in case of failure he does not look for those to blame, does not try to shift his tasks that require solutions to someone else.

Responsibility implies a conscious intention to take active steps to achieve a specific result. Self-control helps a person cope with anxiety, pull himself together, and overcome some fears and doubts. Most people, at the right moment, take their will into their fist and act, despite any difficulties.

Strength of character

Great success is achieved not by those who are very lucky, but by those who are patient and persistent. The ability to act through defeat and anxiety takes a lot of work. Self-control in psychology is the cultivation of appropriate character qualities necessary for self-realization. The ability to be persistent and purposeful is born from within and comes to a person at the right time. That is, when he feels the need to show firmness and control the situation.

Losing self-control is always very unpleasant and fraught with many consequences. First of all, the person loses contact with himself, the ability to control his own emotions. You need to work on your character every day to achieve specific results. Try not to run away from problems that arise, but to solve them. In order to simplify your task, you can break one large difficulty into several small components.

Desire to overcome difficulties

Unfortunately, not every person has such a need. Some of us, finding ourselves in a difficult or unfamiliar situation, get lost and don’t know what to do. Instead of taking a decisive step, the person suddenly begins to take a set of chaotic, unrelated actions. This behavior is called avoidance of reality, when the problem remains unresolved for quite a long time. Many people choose this line of behavior, preferring escape from difficulties to a constructive approach. Of course, it turns out to be much easier to go with the flow than to set real goals and try to solve them.

The desire to overcome difficulties is dictated by the maturity of the individual, the maturation of his motivational sphere. When a person clearly knows why he needs this or that achievement, as a rule, unnecessary questions do not arise. In a state of readiness comes strength for action. Such a concept as “self-control” necessarily correlates with the intention to go to the end, to be true to one’s desires.

Flexibility of mind

In life, external conditions often change. And this is completely natural. While we are tuning into one wave, the situation can change dramatically. Most people in this case get lost, they lose strength and motivation for action, some openly give up their positions. Only capable of going through significant obstacles and not regretting the choice made. Self-control helps you not to stop halfway, but to complete the job you started. How to grow it in yourself? You need to work very hard, be prepared for the fact that it will be painful and difficult. You should also not perceive a specific situation as unchangeable. Understand that every problem can be solved.

You need to learn to accept current events as life lessons and treat them positively. Don't beat yourself up over mistakes you've made in the past, there's no point in that. Look ahead in order to find a significant goal in the future that you would like to get closer to.

Deliberate action

Everyone knows that the right decisions are made not in the heat of the moment, not under the influence of strong emotions, but with a cool head. Don't rush into concluding an important deal. It is necessary to use your judgment as much as possible and carefully analyze the available details. Be fair to yourself, try to adequately assess your own prospects. To do this, think: what prevents you from feeling more calm and purposeful in some cases?

Self-control is when, instead of taking a bunch of unnecessary actions, you choose and take only one, but one that will be useful both to yourself and to those around you. People actually quickly get used to the fact that someone sacrifices their time or values ​​for their benefit, but are not always ready to do the same in return.

Self confidence

Whatever business a person undertakes, he always needs to feel additional strength within himself to carry out his intention. Otherwise, he will abandon what he has planned at the stage of building an intention. Insecure people often doubt their abilities and are critical of their own thoughts and ideas. They need help, someone stronger to lead them, to make them believe that every achievement does not come by itself, but is the result of systematic action.

Losing self-control means losing your sense of confidence that a difficult situation will resolve favorably. Without faith in your own prospects, it is impossible to live fully and interact harmoniously with others.

Thus, self-control serves as a defensive reaction of the individual, allowing her to independently realize which decision will be beneficial and useful for her.

“He who knows how to control his anger is superior to the more powerful, and he who controls his mind is stronger than he who captures the city.”

Solomon

Why is self-control important?

The sign of a truly strong person is the ability to control his emotions and passions. Strength of spirit and the ability to control oneself in difficult moments also have a direct impact on the physical state - any disruptions in emotional balance affect health, if not immediately, then over time.

The nature of man, like that of any living creature, is based on the instincts to satisfy needs.

However, unlike animals, which consume exactly as much as is required to meet their needs, humans can consume significantly more than the norm, which leads to unpleasant consequences. It is painful sensations that signal that changes should be made to your lifestyle.

In order to successfully cope with one's emotions and learn self-control, a person must awaken his consciousness. The development of will and intellect is the first step on the path of self-control.

The main emotions that prevent a person from living a full life:

1. Fear

Fear is the main cause of negative feelings such as jealousy, anger, disappointment and doubt.

2. Sensuality

Excessive adherence to this instinct encourages a person to constantly search for new pleasures, which often leads to problems with excess weight, addiction to alcohol, drugs or promiscuous sexual contacts.

3. Sexual attraction

Like sensuality, a person must be able to consciously use his sexual desire.

4. Vanity

There are three types of vanity - physical, mental and spiritual, which are characterized by a sense of personal superiority. Vanity is a character defect that also prevents the formation of a full-fledged personality.

How to learn to control yourself?

There are several methods of control and self-control, as well as developing self-control skills:

1. Remove the emotional aspect from your judgment.
You should not say anything out loud until you are able to consciously make a decision without strong emotions affecting your mind.

2. Avoid excessive impulsiveness and spontaneity in actions during emotional experiences.

3. A stable habit is formed as a result of methodical repetition of the same actions.

This means that a person is able to independently develop useful habits, including self-control in difficult situations.

4. A person’s instincts and desires are not the whole of him, but only his physical component.

However, there is also an intelligent part that is significantly superior to physiology. This means that a person can cope with any emotional state if at this moment he uses his mind and intellect.

5. Uncontrollable anxiety is the result of lack or neglect of development.

This also means that any event, action or person can have power over you. Only by realizing this is a person able to see his mistakes and correct them.