How to resolve a conflict situation with mutual benefit? How to resolve conflict: effective methods and practical recommendations.

Because of misunderstanding. Another common cause of family quarrels is the inconsistency of the “biological clocks” of individual family members. Owls and larks do not always get along together. However, no matter how serious the quarrels, the growing conflict can always be resolved through concessions, compromises and constructive solutions to family problems. Follow a number of rules and in most cases you can avoid it in your family.

Never give in to proving anything or showing your selfishness. Stupid stubbornness is also extremely undesirable, even rather unacceptable. In addition, do not raise the tone of your voice during a quarrel, because shouting can only ignite a scandal, but not extinguish it. And don’t let your emotions out, stay calm.

Do not involve others in your quarrel, be it friends or even relatives. The conflict between spouses is only their business, so you risk ruining your relationship with your significant other by asking for help “from the outside.”

It is strictly contraindicated to sort out your relationship in front of your eyes. After all, they may develop the wrong model of behavior with adults, including you. This can cause emotional trauma.

Never remember old ones, and don’t invent problems out of thin air. This will only complicate your relationship and add fuel to the fire of your conflict.

Just sit down and talk with your partner. Discuss, both express your vision of the problem and possible ways to solve it. This way you can unite and resolve the conflict together.

And two more short but important pieces of advice: sometimes it’s worth first listening to the spouse who considers himself disadvantaged. And never lose your sense of humor. Remember that sarcasm has never seriously hurt anyone.

Video on the topic

Helpful advice

What to do if you cannot resolve the conflict on your own? Contact a family psychologist. If you think that going to a psychoanalyst is a waste of money and time, call the helpline hotline.

Disagreements between family members can result in conflict if they are not identified and resolved in time. If a domestic dispute has already arisen, choose the right strategy of behavior so as not to aggravate it, but to resolve it.

Instructions

Accept your family members for who they are. Then you will have practically no complaints against them. Some conflicts between husband and wife flare up because one of them wants to make their spouse an ideal. But you linked your destiny with an ordinary person. So try to accept all the shortcomings of your loved ones.

Try to find a compromise in a family dispute. If you are constantly annoyed by some household factor, find a way to make the existence of your family members next to each other as comfortable as possible. Accept that everyone is different and has different habits.

Resolve a conflict with your husband or wife that has arisen in the intimate sphere of your family life through a frank conversation. Tell your loved one about everything that confuses or worries you. Honesty in this matter will help you resolve conflict and improve your sexual relationship.

Plan your family budget to resolve financial conflicts. Sometimes it happens that one family member has his own opinion on how money should be managed, while another sees the list of necessary expenses differently. Until you determine which expenses are a priority for your family, conflict may arise again and again.

Rely on strong arguments, arranged in a logical sequence, when expressing your point of view in a conflict situation. Speak calmly, control your emotions. Do not use hurtful words or direct insults under any circumstances. Remember, you are talking to dear, close people.

Know how to listen to the opinion of another family member. Otherwise, it will be difficult for you to understand his point of view and find a compromise solution. People who are fixated only on their own interests find it difficult to avoid conflict situations.

Do not have a negative attitude towards family conflicts. Such situations help your family members get to know each other better and make life together more comfortable. If you begin to work correctly with disagreements in the family, the result will always be constructive.

Video on the topic

Children often have conflicts among themselves, especially in large families. But only parents can help establish contact between them. The best way to solve this situation is to switch children into play activities during an argument.

Parents are often faced with a situation where children's conflicts arise, be it problems between children of the same family or friends. In any case, you have to look for options to quickly resolve the quarrel.

Rules of conduct for adults

Sometimes it is better to refrain from interfering in a quarrel between children, as they need to learn to cope with such situations on their own. But if the development of a conflict threatens the occurrence of mental or physical injuries in a child, then an adult cannot remain on the sidelines.

This usually happens when the forces of the disputants are not equal. Parents need to reassure their children and advise them to solve the problem peacefully. Never immediately take the side of one of those quarreling, even if you are sure that he is right. First of all, you should listen to both sides, because you can miss something, otherwise one will be confident in permissiveness, the second - in the injustice of adults.

We must try not to imitate investigative actions and judicial proceedings by blaming and punishing. Let both children be responsible, just try to tell them the right way out of the situation. If everything is turned into a joke, the conflict can be resolved.

When asking children about the causes of the conflict, focus on them describing each other's words and actions without insults. If a quarrel has arisen between brothers or sisters, it is necessary to resolve the situation so that no one is offended by you or thinks that you do not love them. Emphasize that you care about them and that their conflicts upset you very much. Even if punishment is inevitable, tell your child that this does not bring you pleasure, but he must understand that he cannot do this.

Game tasks to resolve conflict situations

Often, conflict resolution is best framed as a game. For example, you can call children to the “carpet of peace” and allow them to throw out their negativity towards each other. You can also invite children to express their emotional state using gestures or “name-calling” from the plant world, and you can even ask them to talk about the quarrel from the opponent’s point of view, narrating on his behalf.

Another option is to give the opportunity to describe your indignation on paper as emotionally and angrily as possible, using all your imagination. When children try to complain, interrupting each other, set them the condition that you will listen to them if they stage a play, ballet or concert on this topic.

So it’s not the conflicts themselves that are scary (although, naturally, we would like to avoid a significant part of them - those that flare up, essentially, over an insignificant issue, dragging behind them a chain of previous grievances and misunderstandings). Much worse is our inability to “correctly manage” the opportunities presented by this and get out of a conflict situation at least without losses - and possibly with gains.

How do psychologists look at conflict, who, as usual, have broken it down into its components and systematized the most likely scenarios for the development of events?

Conflict is an interaction between people (let's assume for simplicity that there are only two participants). The participants in the conflict are called the initiator and the respondent, and it must be taken into account that during the dispute the interlocutors can repeatedly change roles. They also highlight the situation (the conditions in which everything happens), the subject of the dispute and the state of the participants. If the importance of the object (because of what, in fact) and states (“see what I’m doing?”) is undoubted, then the significance of the situation may not always be realized. But, for example, the need for further joint activity can both complicate (if the issue is so fundamental that no one is able to concede) and simplify the resolution of the dispute (the awareness of the need to constructively resolve the situation in order to interact normally further, if this is still inevitable).

Highlight five possible options for unconstructive actions in a conflict situation: avoiding conflict, smoothing out conflict, finding a compromise, confrontation, coercion.

1. Avoiding resolving the contradiction, from a collision, transfer to another topic - that is, avoidance of solving the problem. In fact, this is simply postponing the conflict - perhaps over time everything will settle down on its own, or there will be an opportunity to weigh everything, etc. In reality, in most cases, the participants simply receive a delay, after which they still have to face the problem face to face.

2. Smoothing out the conflict- one of the parties may outwardly agree with the claims, while internally remaining fully or partially convinced that they are right. With this action we simply try to reassure the partner, in fact, as in the first case, transferring the resolution of the issue to the future. The downside to this approach is that we seem to let our partner know that we agree with him, but after some time he may discover that this is not the case.

3. Compromise— finding a solution acceptable to both parties. On the one hand, this approach involves a more or less open discussion of the problem and relieves tension, on the other hand, it often follows the principle of “neither ours nor yours,” leaving the participants still dissatisfied with the solution.

4. Confrontation involves a clash in which participants insist on their own, without taking into account the position of the other. It may follow the accumulation of a sufficient number of claims by one of the parties (perhaps small, but already in a fair amount). There comes a time when the “cup overflows” and the initiator makes serious claims, often without expecting to receive an acceptable answer. But even in this situation, you can find a positive side - confrontation can open up partners, give them the opportunity to look at each other (and themselves) in a new way.

5. Coercion- behavior considered most unfavorable. This refers to the direct imposition on another of the option for resolving the situation that suits the initiator. The positive side is the ability to quickly resolve the dispute (if, of course, there is a real opportunity to “do it my way”), the negative side is everything else. Naturally, it is precisely this behavior that hurts the “weaker” party the most, and the initiator should always take into account the possibility that next time the current defendant may try to take revenge.

6. Cooperation- unlike compromise, it does not involve mutual concessions (as if both are at a relative disadvantage), but joint activity and development.

And a little about the behavior of representatives of various personality types in a conflict situation.

Personalities cognitive type are more likely to have a withdrawal reaction. In a conflict situation, they tend to explain, listen, and build mental patterns to justify their own point of view. “Thinkers” turn out to be the most sensitive to contradictions affecting the value sphere, or to conflict situations in close relationships.

Communicative type He is usually not inclined to prolong conflicts, because for him communication plays a paramount role. “Interlocutors” are often ready to smooth out the conflict or seek a compromise according to the principle “a bad peace is better than a good quarrel.” However, in a dispute, the “interlocutors” are very sensitive to how others assess their emotional sphere and communication abilities.

Individuals practical type, naturally, tend to take a more active position in the dispute. Perhaps the “practitioner” is more inclined than others to coerce, but also to cooperate (not compromise). Representatives of the practical type are receptive to assessments of their professional success, their activities, etc.

And in conclusion - about the so-called “I-message”. “I-message” is a great way to convey some information to your interlocutor, to communicate your own feelings experienced in a given situation. So we say: “When you..., I feel... because... I would like...”. In place of the ellipsis, we substitute the relevant significant information.

The first part of the “I-message” informs about the reason (a certain factor in the partner’s behavior), the second about your emotional reaction to this factor, the third explains why exactly this is so, and the fourth expresses the speaker’s wishes regarding the partner’s behavior.

I hope this information will help you resolve conflict situations constructively.

The content of the article:

Conflict is a situation of confrontation that can arise either between two people or between groups of individuals. This is one of the side effects of communication between different personalities with different views, characters, goals and worldviews. It cannot be eradicated, but it can be avoided or minimized. To do this, you need to know the nature of conflicts and the basic methods of preventing them.

The concept of conflict and its types

There are many definitions that describe the concept of conflict. But at the same time, everyone shows the main essence of this phenomenon - confrontation, contradiction, confrontation between people, expressed out loud.

This is a complex dynamic process, which gets its name from the Latin “conflictus”, which means collision. It can be based on subjective or objective “inconsistencies”. More often it has an open character and is accompanied by emotions with a “minus” sign, but it allows you to consider the issue from all sides and hear the opposite point of view.

In the process of formation, a conflict situation has several successive stages of development:

Subject stage. This is the stage of the emergence of a conflict, when the subject of divergence of views is discovered.
Conflict interaction. At this stage, the discovered subject of conflict is expressed openly. The confrontation is developing.
Conflict resolution. There can be two options for the ending: complete repayment of the conflict, when the situation is resolved, or partial, when it only subsides or is postponed until later.

The modern classification of conflicts is based on many factors: the number of participants in a conflict situation, its manifestation, consequences, forms of confrontation, etc. Therefore, the number of types of such confrontation is very large. Here are some of the most popular classifications of conflict situations.

Main types of conflicts:

According to the social consequences. According to their outcome, confrontations can be successful or failed, destructive or constructive, constructive or destructive.
By levels of parties to the conflict. Depending on who acts as the warring parties, conflicts are distinguished between individuals or groups of people, between associations, government entities and cultures.
By source of occurrence. The following topics can lead to confrontation between the parties: discrepancy between values, identification, interests.
According to the form of confrontation. Confrontation can manifest itself openly, aggressively or peacefully.
By scale. Depending on how many participants the conflict situation involves, it can be local (local) and limited to a few people or a team, as well as regional, when entire regions come into conflict. Also, the conflict can grow to interstate and global proportions.
In relation to the participants’ attitude to the conflict situation itself. Considering that the parties to the conflict themselves may have different attitudes towards the misunderstanding that has arisen, the confrontation can be genuine, accidental, hidden or false, objective or subjective.
By tactics. The manifestation of confrontation can occur in different forms: in the form of debates and debates, in the form of a game, or more harshly - in the form of active physical influence (fight, military action).

Causes of conflicts

Human existence is multifaceted, and therefore the reasons for the emergence of confrontation can affect a variety of spheres of human activity. A conflict can be based on purely emotional hostility, non-acceptance of certain forms of behavior or certain situations, etc. Let us dwell on the most significant factors that shape conflict situations.

Common causes of conflicts:

Goals. Misunderstanding or rejection of the desired result, when people see the outcome of their activities (actions, decisions, behavior) differently, often leads to confrontation.
Views. Often a conflict arises between parties who differ in their vision of ways to solve a certain situation (problem).
Feelings. A conflict situation can also be of a purely personal nature, when its participants simply cannot agree on the level of emotions and feelings towards each other.

If we consider these causal factors from the perspective of areas of human activity, they will look like this:

Causes of social conflicts. Social confrontation is a necessary condition for the development of society. It can be based on several positions: social inequality, heterogeneity of culture and customs, differences in values and ideology. Many social confrontations are based on economic factors and the degree of distribution of power. Within a family, the reasons for conflicts can be different views on life, raising children, intimate relationships, jealousy, financial and domestic problems, bad habits and addictions.
Causes of conflicts within an organization. Being forced to be within a heterogeneous team within the same organization inevitably leads to confrontations. The spark for the flare-up of a conflict in this case can be the struggle for leadership, unsatisfactory working conditions, differences in interests, understanding of the labor process and subordination, distribution of material benefits and incentives.
Causes of interethnic conflicts. The desire to improve the economic situation or boundaries of influence, living conditions, restoration of lost rights or geographical boundaries can cause hostility between states or subjects of different nationalities. Historical, religious and confessional differences, political games and the numerical superiority of one nation over another provide no less reasons for interethnic hatred.

Understanding the cause of a conflict situation gives a great advantage to those who want to manage it. The most effective way to avoid conflict is based precisely on knowledge of its nature.

How to Avoid Conflict

Most people who become participants in a confrontation try to justify their behavior by circumstances, emotional background, provocative behavior of the interlocutor, etc. They don't even realize that there are ways to avoid conflict - in any situation.

There are several general tips that will help nip a conflict at the root, regardless of what its cause is and how many participants there are:

Keep your emotions under control. The best way to prevent or constructively end a conflict situation is to turn off emotions and your Ego. It is a “sober head” that will help to conduct a dialogue in such a way that you will not later regret what was said or done.
Don't beat yourself up. Learn to live in the moment, without running your thoughts and fantasies into the future - do not invent what does not exist and what has not yet happened. It often happens that we deceive ourselves, building in our heads unimaginable variations in the development of events, on which we then base our claims. Although it turns out that they all turned out to be far-fetched.
Be attentive to your interlocutor. If you have a reason to discuss a problem, give advice or find out something, choose the right time to talk - when the interlocutor is in the mood for dialogue. If he is out of sorts, tired, upset or angry, you have every chance of turning communication into a conflict situation.
Don't remember the past. Make it a rule not to “link” past misdeeds and mistakes of your interlocutor to today’s problem. Such tactics will only worsen the confrontation. This is a very effective way to avoid conflicts with loved ones.
Do not accumulate grievances and problems within yourself. Unresolved controversial issues, unexpressed experiences and grievances tend to accumulate and splash out in a fountain of negative emotions. Naturally, conflicts cannot be avoided during such outbursts.
Stay calm and polite. To ensure that a conflict situation is quickly resolved or does not arise at all, watch your speech. Don’t be hysterical, speak in a calm tone, without insults, ridicule or mockery.

How to avoid conflicts with your boss

A large part of our lives is spent at work, so the potential for misunderstandings in this area of life is great. Moreover, they can arise on several levels - with colleagues or with a higher-ranking employee or boss.

The main rules on how to avoid conflicts at work with your boss:

The boss is always right. Remember this main principle of any leadership. And even if it is very difficult to comply with it, in any case your opposition should be thoughtful, tactful and adequate.
Calm, just calm. If you have fallen under the hot hand of your boss or consider the claims made against you to be unfounded, restrain yourself from a violent response. Wait until the “aggressor” calms down, and only then find out all the points you don’t understand.
Stop gossip. Make it a rule not to discuss management with your colleagues. Even outside of work and in informal settings. There is no guarantee that your words will not reach the ears of the object of discussion.
Right Relationships. Avoid frivolity and ingratiation when communicating with management. Only professionalism in communication and behavior will help you avoid confrontation with both management and colleagues.

How to avoid conflicts with colleagues

Basic ways to avoid conflicts with work colleagues:

Keep your distance. Not only will your work relationship provide you with the most effective work environment, but it will also not make you the target or victim of gossip.
Be impartial. If you are drawn into a conflict, do not choose sides and remain neutral. You don’t know how it will end and what consequences it will leave behind. Be calm and reasonable even when you are one of the parties to a conflict situation. Even if the cause of the conflict is personal “intolerance.”
Follow the one-on-one principle. Try to seek resolution to any misunderstandings and disagreements alone with your interlocutor, outside the group.
Respect the experience of others. If you are uncomfortable with comments or attempts to interfere in your work by more experienced employees, do not hesitate to calmly find out the reason for this attitude towards yourself. If you are truly “sinful”, accept help and improve.

How to avoid conflicts with friends

Life shows that moments of misunderstanding and disagreement can arise even between the best friends. Given the same life, there are never too many good friends, so you shouldn’t risk them and enter into confrontation with them.

Avoid conflicts. If you see that your friend is aggressive and a conflict situation is inevitable, physically move away from the confrontation. You can remember about urgent matters, an unresolved problem, an iron not turned off - anything that will give you a reason to stop communicating with a friend at the moment of his “inadequacy”.
Pause. Try not to react to comments and barbs immediately, especially if they are petty and insignificant. Use the classic method of counting to 10. And then you will see how to answer and whether it is worth answering at all.
Set your priorities. If a conflict is inevitable, think about what is more important to you - maintaining friendly relations or proving your point of view. In this case, you can blindly agree with the instigator or try to jointly find an amicable solution to the problem that has arisen.

How to avoid conflicts with parents

The conflict between fathers and children is an eternal problem of relationships, the relevance of which will exist as long as its participants themselves. Parental love, combined with life experience, does not always find a common language with youth and the desire for independence.

Basic principles on how to avoid conflicts with loved ones:

Don't be afraid to admit your mistakes. Try to approach the causes of conflicts impartially and correct when necessary.
Don't give in to your feelings. Leave without response provocations and intentions to throw you off balance. Often emotions prevent you from seeing the root of the problem and the correct way to solve it.
Be tactful and forgiving. Politeness, a calm tone and the ability to listen without interrupting are the best ways to show the importance of good relationships with loved ones. Make allowances for your relatives’ age, emotional background, and health status. Everyone experiences mood swings and poor health.
Prevent conflicts. Do not accumulate resentment and misunderstandings so that they do not create the basis for confrontation.

How to avoid conflicts with children

No less reasons for misunderstanding and conflict may arise with your own children. This makes it much more difficult to maintain a productive parent-child bond.

The main rules on how to avoid conflicts with children:

Look to the root of the problem. Very often, children use conflict situations to attract attention. And parents - first of all. Learn to first see the cause of the confrontation that has arisen and only then choose the path to resolve it.
Criticize correctly. It is unpleasant for a child, like any adult, to hear criticism addressed to him. Therefore, try to make comments to your child correctly: firstly, essentially, and secondly, with continuation, that is, explaining how he can improve and become better.
Explain your refusals. If you don't intend to satisfy your child's every desire, learn to argue for it. Ignoring will only worsen the problem, since the child perceives such an attitude towards himself as indifference.
Communicate with children more often. It is confidential communication that makes it possible to find out everything that your child breathes - his fears, desires, moods, dreams. And, accordingly, avoid conflict situations.

How to avoid conflicts with your loved one

If relationships with parents and children are blood relationships, then relationships with your other half have a slightly different perspective. This perspective provides a lot of reasons for conflicts to arise. And if you don’t find the best way to avoid conflicts in the family, this family may either not exist or not exist.

Basic ways to avoid conflicts with your partner:

Respect your other half. Remember that your soulmate is a person who has his own tastes, habits, interests and preferences. In the end, this is the kind of person you fell in love with.
Be sincere and honest. The best cement for strengthening relationships is sincerity and openness. At the same time, do not forget that it is dishonest to demand from your partner what you cannot do or do not possess yourself.
Listen to yourself. Before you start a conflict or get offended, look inside yourself. Perhaps you are talking about emotions, fatigue or ordinary hunger. And keep in mind that your other half may be driven by the same reasons.
Be more kind. It is well known that a kind word is also pleasant for a cat. Therefore, notice more good things in your partner, praise and motivate.

Important! Remember that happy people simply do not have time and reason to sort things out with someone and gossip.

How to avoid conflicts - watch the video:

In the modern world, conflicts have fertile ground for development, but this does not mean that this state of affairs should be accepted as the norm. Peaceful communication and mutual understanding make life more beautiful and fruitful. Therefore, it is worth fighting to reduce all confrontations to a minimum.

Unfortunately, interpersonal conflicts are an inevitable part of our lives. However, is it really “unfortunate”? After all, what is conflict? Conflict of interests, points of view, etc. And a world without conflicts would most likely mean the sameness and impersonality of the people inhabiting it - however, they could hardly be called people.

So it’s not the conflicts themselves that are scary (although, naturally, we would like to avoid a significant part of them - those that flare up, essentially, over an insignificant issue, dragging behind them a chain of previous grievances and misunderstandings). Much worse is our inability to “correctly manage” the opportunities presented by this and get out of conflict situation at least without losses - and possibly with gains.

How do psychologists look at conflict, who, as usual, have broken it down into its components and systematized the most likely scenarios for the development of events?

They also highlight the situation (the conditions in which everything happens), the subject of the dispute and the state of the participants. If the importance of the object (because of what, in fact) and states (“see what I’m doing?”) is undoubted, then the significance of the situation may not always be realized.

But, for example, the need for further joint activities can both complicate (if the issue is so fundamental that no one is able to concede) and simplify the resolution of the dispute (awareness of the need to constructively resolve the situation in order for normal interact further, if this is still unavoidable).

Highlight five possible options for unconstructive actions in a conflict situation: avoiding conflict, smoothing out conflict, finding a compromise, confrontation, coercion.

1. Avoiding resolving the contradiction, from a collision, transfer to another topic - that is, avoidance of solving the problem. In fact, this is simply postponing the conflict - perhaps over time everything will settle down on its own, or there will be an opportunity to weigh everything, etc. In reality, in most cases, participants simply receive a reprieve, after which they still have to face the problem face to face.

3. Compromise- finding a solution acceptable to both parties. On the one hand, this approach involves a more or less open discussion of the problem and relieves tension, on the other hand, it often follows the principle of “neither ours nor yours,” leaving the participants still dissatisfied with the solution.

6. Cooperation- unlike compromise, it does not involve mutual concessions (as if both are at a relative disadvantage), but joint activity and development.

And a little about behavior conflict situation representatives of various personality types.

And in conclusion - about the so-called “I-message”. “I-message” is a great way to convey some information to your interlocutor, to communicate about your own feelings experienced in a given situation. So we say: “When you..., I feel... because... I would like....” In place of the ellipsis, we substitute the relevant significant information.

In every human relationship there are disagreements from time to time. Conflict situations occur at work, in the family, and in relationships between lovers. Many people experience them quite painfully. And completely in vain. You need to learn to treat such situations correctly and know how to competently resolve the conflict.

Psychologists advise treating things positively as an opportunity to clarify and even modify relationships.

Learning to resolve conflicts

If a conflict arises, you should definitely let your partner blow off steam: try to listen to all his complaints calmly and patiently, without interrupting or commenting. In this case, internal tension will decrease for both you and your opponent.

After the emotions have been spilled out, you can offer to substantiate the claims. At the same time, it is necessary to monitor the situation so that the opposite side of the conflict does not again switch from a constructive discussion of problems to an emotional one. If this happens, you need to tactfully guide the debater to intellectual conclusions.

You can dampen your partner’s negative emotions by giving him a sincere compliment or by reminding him of something good and pleasant from a common past.

A respectful attitude towards your opponent is a prerequisite for how to resolve a conflict correctly. It will impress even an extremely angry person. If in such a situation you insult your partner and get personal, you will definitely not be able to resolve the conflict.

What to do if your opponent couldn’t restrain himself and started shouting? Don't get caught up in scolding in return!

If you feel guilty about the conflict, do not be afraid to apologize. Remember that only smart people can do this.

Some methods of behavior in a conflict situation

There are several proven techniques on how to resolve conflict.

Reception No. 1. Try to imagine yourself as a commentator observing a quarrel. Look at the conflict from the outside, and first of all, at yourself.

Mentally fence yourself off with an impenetrable cap or body armor - you will immediately feel that the barbs and unpleasant words of your opponent seem to break against the barrier you have set up, and no longer hurt so sharply.

Having seen from the position of a commentator what qualities you lack in a conflict, endow yourself with them in your imagination and continue the argument as if you have them.

If you do this regularly, the missing qualities will actually appear.

Reception No. 2. How to resolve conflict between disputants? This very simple technique often helps not only relieve tension, but also avoid confrontation altogether. You just need to step away or move further away from the enemy. The closer the conflicting parties are physically, the stronger the intensity of passions.

Reception No. 3. Surprise your opponent at the moment of conflict with a non-standard phrase or joke. This is simply a wonderful way to resolve conflict. It’s difficult to quarrel with a person who is in the mood to joke!

Reception No. 4. If it is absolutely clear that the interlocutor is deliberately provoking a conflict, insulting and simply not giving a chance to answer, in such a situation it is better to leave, saying that you do not want to continue the conversation in this tone. It is better to postpone it “to tomorrow”.

Taking a time out will help you calm down and give you a break to find the right words. And the person who provoked the quarrel will lose his confidence during this time.

What should not be allowed during a conflict

Good self-control is the key to success

You need to learn to restrain your emotions and in case of conflict with partners or clients, the following are strictly prohibited:

irritable tone and swearing;
a clear demonstration of one's own superiority;
criticism of the opponent;
searching for negative intentions in his actions;
abdication of responsibility, blaming the partner for everything;
ignoring the interests of the opponent;
exaggeration of one's role in the common cause;
pressure on sore spots.

The best way to get out of a conflict is to avoid it.

Psychologists advise treating conflict as a positive factor. If at the very beginning of building a relationship, having noticed conflicting issues, you do not hush them up, you can nip serious quarrels in the bud.

We must try to “put out the fire” even before it flares up. Therefore, the best way to resolve a conflict is not to bring it to a head. After all, life already has a lot of difficulties, and nerve cells will still come in handy.

Often the cause of confrontation is the accumulation of unspoken negativity. A person is irritated by something in the behavior of a colleague or is simply enraged by some habit of his loved one, but he does not know how to say about it so as not to spoil the relationship. Therefore, he endures and remains silent. The effect is exactly the opposite. Accumulated irritation sooner or later spills out in an uncontrollable form, which can lead to a serious conflict. Therefore, it is very important not to bring it to the “boiling point”, but to calmly and tactfully express your complaints as soon as they arise.

When not to avoid conflict

But there are times when it’s not worth it, because it’s the one that will help solve the problem. You can consciously enter into conflict if:

you need to defuse the situation by clarifying the painful issue with a loved one;
there is a need to break off the relationship;
to give in to your opponent means for you to betray your ideals.

But you need to remember that when intentionally going into conflict, you need to sort things out intelligently.

Memo “How to competently resolve a conflict”

To get out of a conflict situation as quickly as possible and with the least losses, we suggest the following sequence of actions.

1. First of all, the existence of a conflict must be recognized. We cannot allow a situation where people feel opposition and act according to their chosen tactics, but do not talk about it openly. It will not be possible to resolve such a conflict without joint discussion between the parties.

2. Having recognized the conflict, it is necessary to agree on negotiations. They can be either face to face or with the participation of a mediator who suits both parties.

3. Determine what exactly constitutes the subject of confrontation. As practice shows, the parties to a conflict often see the essence of the problem differently. Therefore, it is necessary to find common ground in understanding the dispute. Already at this stage it is important to determine whether a rapprochement of positions is possible.

4. Develop several solutions, taking into account all possible consequences.

5. After considering all the options, settle on the one that suits both parties. Record the decision in writing.

6. Implement the solution. If this is not done immediately, the conflict will only deepen, and repeated negotiations will be much more difficult.

We hope that our advice will help you, if not avoid conflicts, then get out of them with dignity.