How to understand yourself and your thoughts: advice from a psychologist. Confused, lost in my thoughts

Often negative thoughts and feelings prevent us from enjoying the good things in life. Gradually, we begin to think about bad things more and more often, and immersing ourselves in negative thoughts becomes a habit that is difficult to eradicate. In order to overcome this habit (as well as any other), you need to change your way of thinking.

When we're stressed about something, the last thing we want is for negative thoughts to add to our stress, so it's important to learn how to cope with the endless stream of thoughts. In this article we will talk about how to rid yourself of unnecessary worries.

Steps

Change your way of thinking

Think about today. When you are tormented by anxious thoughts, what do you think about most often at that moment? You are probably reliving past events (even if it happened a week ago) or thinking about what will happen in the future. In order to stop worrying, you need to remember about the present moment, about today. If you shift your attention from what has already happened or will be, to what is happening now, it will become easier for you to stop perceiving everything too negatively. But, as often happens, this is not so easy to do. In order to learn to live in the present, you must first learn to concentrate on what is happening to you literally at this very moment.

• There is one simple technique: look at a peaceful image (photo, painting). This will allow your head to rest and let go of all the bad thoughts, and this only happens naturally - that is, when you are not deliberately trying to get rid of thoughts and are not waiting for you to finally succeed. This is a very simple but effective way to calm down and relax.
• If that doesn't work, try distracting your mind by counting from 100 to 7, or pick a color and find all the objects in the room that color. This way you can get rid of the chaos in your head, and then you can focus on the present moment again.

1. Don't isolate yourself. One of the consequences of focusing on bad thoughts is often an ever-increasing distance between you and the world around you. If you decide to come out of your shell and reconnect with the world, you will have less time and energy for bad thoughts. Don't scold yourself for negative thoughts or emotions - this will only make things worse. You may have often thought about how much you disliked someone, and then felt guilty about such thoughts or angry with yourself because of it. Because of this perception, cause-and-effect relationships and incorrect attitudes are strengthened in the head, which over time become extremely difficult to get rid of. Below are some simple ways to switch from your inner world to your outer world.

   Develop self-confidence. Self-doubt in all its diversity of manifestations often becomes the main cause of difficult thoughts and strong experiences. This feeling constantly haunts you: no matter what you do, it is with you everywhere. For example, when talking with a friend, you are constantly worried about how you look, what impression you make, instead of just talking. It is necessary to develop self-confidence, and then it will be easier for you to live a full life and not torment yourself with destructive thoughts.

   • Try to do something exciting regularly - this will make you feel confident in your abilities. For example, if you are good at baking pies, enjoy the entire baking process: enjoy kneading the dough, enjoy the aroma that fills your home.
   • When you manage to develop the ability to live joyfully in the present moment, remember this feeling and reproduce it as often as possible. Remember that the only thing keeping you from feeling present is your perception, so stop tormenting yourself with self-criticism.

   Understand how the mind works

   1. Examine your attitude towards negative thoughts or feelings. Because bad thoughts often arise simply out of habit, they can come as soon as you stop taking care of yourself. Promise yourself not to dwell on these thoughts, because you need to learn not only to let them go, but also to prevent new ones from appearing.

      Watch yourself. Identify how thoughts or feelings manage to control you. Thoughts have two components - topic (what you think about) and process (how you think).

      • Consciousness does not always need a topic - in cases of its absence, thoughts simply jump from one to another. Consciousness uses such thoughts in order to protect itself from something, or in order to calm and distract from something else - for example, from physical pain, from fear. In other words, when a defense mechanism is triggered, often the mind is simply trying to latch onto something to give you something to think about.
      • Thoughts that have a specific topic have a completely different character. Perhaps you are angry, worried about something, or thinking about some problem. Such thoughts are often repeated and always revolve around the same thing.
      • The difficulty is that the mind cannot be constantly absorbed in a topic or process. In order to correct the situation, it is worth remembering that thoughts alone will not help the matter. Often we don't want to let go of thoughts and feelings because we want to better understand the situation: for example, if we are angry, we think about all the circumstances of the situation, all the participants, all the actions, and so on.
      • Often our desire to think about something is either simply think turns out to be stronger than the desire to let go of thoughts, which significantly complicates the whole situation. The desire to think only for the sake of the process of “thinking” can lead to self-destruction, while this struggle with oneself is another way to escape from the situation that initially caused the thoughts. It is necessary to overcome the desire to constantly think about something and learn to let go of thoughts, and after some time the desire to let go of thoughts in all cases will be stronger than the desire to scroll something in your head without stopping.
      • Another problem is that we tend to think of thoughts as part of our personality. A person is not ready to admit that he can cause himself pain and suffering. There is a generally accepted opinion according to which it is believed that all feelings concerning oneself are valuable. Some feelings lead to negative experiences, others do not. Therefore, it is always necessary to take a closer look at thoughts and feelings in order to understand which ones should be left and which ones should be released.

   2. Try some experiments.

      • Try your best not to think about a polar bear or something incredible - for example, a crimson flamingo with a cup of coffee. This is a fairly old experiment, but it reveals the essence of human thinking very well. When we try to refrain from thinking about the bear, we suppress both the thought of it and the idea that we need to suppress something. If you deliberately try not to think about the bear, the thought of it will not go away.
      • Imagine that you are holding a pencil in your hands. Think about the fact that you want to leave him. In order to throw a pencil, you need to hold it. While you are thinking about giving it up, you are holding on to it. Logically speaking, the pencil cannot be thrown as long as you hold it. The harder you want to throw, the more forcefully you hold it.

   3. Stop fighting your thoughts with force. When we try to overcome some thoughts or feelings, we try to gather more strength to strike, but because of this we cling to these thoughts even more tightly. The more effort, the greater the load on the consciousness, which responds to all these attempts with stress.

      • Instead of trying to force your thoughts away, you need to loosen your grip. The pencil can fall out of your hands on its own, just as thoughts can go away on their own. It may take time: if you tried to forcefully eradicate some thoughts, the consciousness could remember your attempts, as well as its response.
      • When we go through our thoughts in an attempt to understand them or try to get rid of them, we do not move because the thoughts simply have nowhere to go. Once we stop obsessing over the situation, we let them go.

   Learn something new

   1. Learn to cope with your thoughts. If a thought or feeling keeps coming back to you over and over again, there are many ways to stop it from consuming you.

      • There's probably a movie you've watched many times, or a book you've re-read. You always know what will happen next, so you are not so interested in watching the movie or reading that book again. Or maybe you've done something so many times that you don't want to do it again because you know how bored you'll be. Try to transfer this experience to a situation with thoughts: as soon as you lose interest in thinking about the same thing, the thought will go away on its own.

   2. Don't try to run away from negative thoughts and emotions. Are you tired of the exhausting thoughts that are always with you, but have you really tried to deal with them? Sometimes a person tries to pretend that something does not exist, instead of accepting it. If you deal with negative thoughts or emotions this way, they can stay with you forever. Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel, and then let go of unnecessary emotions. If your mind imposes thoughts and emotions on you, it can cause you to judge yourself. There are many manipulative mechanisms hidden in our minds, and many of them we are not even aware of. Consciousness manipulates us because it strives to control us through addictions to a variety of things and strong desires. By and large, we are driven by our addictions.

      • Remember that your happiness is in your hands, that feelings and emotions should not determine how you manage your life. If you allow worries about the past or future and obsessive desires to control you, you will never be able to live a fulfilling life.
      • Control your thoughts yourself. Turn them inside out, change them - in the end, you will understand that you have power over your thoughts, and not they have power over you. Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones is a temporary measure, but it can also be extremely useful at the right time. It will be easier for you to let go of thoughts if you feel that you are in control.
      • If your thoughts revolve around a problem that you have yet to resolve, try your best to come up with ways out of the problematic situation. Do everything in your power, even if the situation seems completely hopeless.
      • If your thoughts and feelings are related to a sad event (such as the death of a relative or a breakup), allow yourself to feel the sadness. Look at photos of the person you miss, think about the good things you experienced together, and cry if it makes you feel better - all of this is human. It can also be helpful to write about your feelings in a journal.

   Remember the good

   1. Know how to remind yourself of the good. If you're stressed, tired from work, or just feeling down, bad thoughts may return. In order to prevent them from completely consuming you, use special methods of dealing with unwanted thoughts that will not allow them to take root.

      Practice visualization. This method will be especially useful for those who are very busy and who do not have enough time to relax. It is necessary to imagine in detail some pleasant place: it can be a memory of a place where you felt good, or a fictitious place.

   2. Think about your achievements. The world gives us many opportunities to enjoy life: you can help others, get things done, achieve certain goals, or simply get out into nature with your family or have dinner with friends. Thinking about pleasant things develops self-confidence and makes us more receptive to good things.

      • Be grateful for what you have. For example, write down three things for which you are grateful to the universe. This way you can quickly “put things in order” in your head and get rid of the flow of thoughts.

   3. Take care of yourself. Feeling unwell will prevent you from fully enjoying life and remaining optimistic. When a person takes care of his body and takes care of his mental state, negative thoughts and emotions simply have nothing to cling to.

      • Get enough sleep. Lack of sleep reduces vitality and does not contribute to a good mood, so try to sleep at least 7-8 hours a day.
      • Eat well. A balanced diet will ensure your brain gets all the elements it needs. Include enough fruits and vegetables in your diet.
      • Play sports. Regular physical activity will help you not only stay fit, but also fight stress. Both will contribute to better well-being and allow you to free yourself from difficult thoughts.
      • Limit your alcohol intake and don't take drugs. Alcohol is a depressant, and even small amounts can throw you off your emotional balance. This also applies to most drugs. Limit your intake and your mental state will improve.
      • Seek help if you feel the need. Taking care of your mental health is just as important as paying attention to your physical health. If you find it difficult to cope with the thoughts that torment you on your own, seek help from a specialist: a psychologist, a social worker, a priest - and they will help you return to your normal life.
   • Remember that feelings and thoughts are like the weather: bad weather gives way to a sunny day. You are the sky, and feelings and thoughts are rain, clouds and snow.
   • The more often you perform the exercises described above, the easier it will be for you to find a common language with yourself.
   • Understanding the thinking process helps to effectively combat negative thoughts. A simple exercise will help you with this: sit down, relax, and observe your feelings and reactions. Imagine that you are a scientist who needs to study how humans work.
   • Everyone likes positive emotions and joyful feelings, but they also pass, and we cannot constantly keep them in our heads in the hope that there will be no other, less pleasant ones. However, you can remember these feelings when you need to calm down and stop thinking about bad things.
   • See a psychologist if your constant stream of thoughts is interfering with your daily life.
   • Close your eyes, “look” at the thought and tell it to stop. Keep doing this until the thought goes away.

   Warnings

   • Attempts to forcefully get rid of some sensations or emotions will cause a defensive reaction in the body.
   • If necessary, consult a specialist. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
   • It is impossible to completely protect oneself from shocks, since a person changes and reacts to external impulses. It is not in our power to force the body to work differently.

It turns out that there are a number of methods that will help block the appearance of bad thoughts or cope with them if they have already come. Most of these methods are proposed by American psychologist Daniel Wegner, who has devoted decades of her life to the problem.

1. Switch

Don't try not to think about the white monkey - think about the black one. Or better yet, about the purple flamingo. Try to switch your consciousness to some other subject that you also really like to think about, but which also has positive connotations. Give yourself a few “continued” thoughts that raise more and more new questions and the need for answers to them - which means they draw you into a completely different stream of thinking. Is it true that Brad Pitt has silicone muscles? I read about this somewhere. But if this is so, then how does he use them? After all, silicone is not capable of contracting like real muscles - or is there some way to make it do this? And there is also a conspiracy theory according to which our Earth is really flat, and only a cabal of evil scientists has been convincing us of its spherical shape for several centuries. Wait, what about satellite images and recordings from space? And they are falsified by the same scientists. What about the poles? There is only one pole - the North Pole, it is in the center of the flat, disk-like Earth, and along the edges of the disk are glaciers, which scientists pass off as Antarctica. And so on - soon the seething stream of this nonsense will take you in a completely new direction*.

* S. Hayes “Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life: The New Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.” New Harbinger Publications, 2005.

2. Avoid stress

Some people believe that a strong impression will help them cope with obsessive thoughts - for example, a scandal with neighbors or a naked run through a winter city at night. However, research shows that the more shock you give to your emotions, the weaker it is in the face of the “alien invasion” of uninvited thoughts. On the contrary, try to calm down and rest - the more strength you have and the better your brain is, the better your chances of repelling the attack*.

* D. Wegner “Setting free the bears: escape from thought suppression.” American Psychologist, 2011.

3. Put aside bad thoughts

Agree with the obsessive thought - you will definitely pay attention to it, but only later. Include “half an hour for painful thoughts” in your daily schedule - but not before bed, but, for example, in the middle of the working day. By thinking during your lunch break about what's weighing you down, you can quickly take your mind off your problems and get back to work. Sooner or later, the subconscious will get used to the fact that obsessive thoughts have their own time with strictly defined limits, and will stop bothering you at other times. Now you can think about how to eliminate annoying thoughts at this time* D

4. Focus on the obsession

Once upon a time, a patient came to the great physician Abu Ali ibn Sina who complained that his eyelid was twitching. Ibn Sina prescribed him an extremely dubious remedy: every hour to begin deliberately blinking his obstinate eyelid. The patient grinned, but promised to strictly follow the instructions. A few days later he came to thank the doctor. Like the remedy prescribed by Ibn Sina, this method works on the principle of “by contradiction”: when an obsessive thought comes to you, try to force yourself to think about it from all sides, turn it this way and that, make yourself afraid that it will escape you , - and you will soon feel that her grip is weakening and she herself would be glad to run away from you *.

* D. Wegner “Setting free the bears: escape from thought suppression.” American Psychologist, 2011.

5. Recognize the inevitability of a bad thought.

Another method, partly similar to the previous one, is to replace the fear of the appearance of an unkillable thought with complete indifference to it. Learn to think about it as something external: for example, if it is the thought that your loved one has abandoned you, get used to the idea that this thought has nothing to do with him (or her), but exists on its own: here Now I’ll go to bed, and my Number One Thought will come to me again. Accustom yourself to the fact that this thought does not develop and does not tell you anything new - it simply comes and goes, like twelve o’clock at night or winter come and go. And very soon you will feel that she is really leaving*.

* H. Russ “The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living: A Guide to ACT.” Random House, 2007.

6. Meditate

Meditation is a great way to organize your mind, making your thoughts controllable. Practice it daily, trying to achieve a state of complete absence of thoughts. It's not easy, but if you learn how to do it, you can induce this state at will, including it at the time of day when you are most susceptible to bad thoughts, or in the situation when you become most vulnerable to them. If a bad thought does not receive positive reinforcement in the form of your willingness to devote your brain resources to it, it begins to weaken - and soon fades away*.

* D. Orman “Stop Negative Thinking: How To Stop Worrying, Relieve Stress, and Become a Happy Person Again.” TRO Productions, 2003.

7. Think about your goals

How is a bad thought different from gas? Gas, as we know from a physics textbook, occupies the entire available volume, and a bad thought is not yet provided... It teaches us to concentrate on it, forgetting that there is so much good in the world that it is much more pleasant to think about. Obsessive thoughts are especially popular with people who have neither a major lifelong goal nor an interesting hobby. Take yourself out of a state of sad thoughts by thinking about the path to success, about what will bring you satisfaction. If you make an effort, you will gradually be able to train yourself to have positive dreams*.

* D. Wegner “Setting free the bears: escape from thought suppression.” American Psychologist, 2011.

Fortiter ac firmiter.
"Strong and strong."

Nikias walked along the corridors, rushing to tell his lady the good news as soon as possible. He finally finished Gray's treatment and now could not meet with the sorcerer. At least alone in empty chambers... Brrr! How disgusting it was to come to him every day! Damian could not restrain himself at all, unceremoniously invading his personal space, mocking him. And every time with such a smile.

The magician took a deep breath and exhaled with a significant amount of relief. Will you really no longer have to endure his selfish antics? Caitlin, his mistress, promised to find out the motives for this madness, but so far she has learned nothing. The always serious and aloof sorcerer had changed suspiciously in the last couple of weeks. But no one could understand the nature of these changes.

Meanwhile, Damian became more persistent and sophisticated. He was no longer limited to light, pseudo-random touches of Nikias's hands and face. And he almost kissed him for the last time when Nikias helped change the bandage.

And what about Nikias himself? Yes, he was closer than ever to hysterics! Man... no, not like that. Man! A man tried to seduce him! Yes, this is unnatural! It can’t be like that, it shouldn’t be like that! Nature, and God himself, created people of different sexes, and Gray introduced dissonance into the original idea of ​​the Creator.

Each time he acted more and more assertively and did not disdain to use magic for his base, perverted purposes. Even Nikias, like many people, could not resist him, could not shield himself from his crushing power. Every day I had to resist fiercely, and it became more and more difficult.

Nikias! - they called out to him. The magician turned around, his pupils involuntarily dilated. - I need to tell you something.

I am really busy! - Nikias tried to run away, but the nimble sorcerer managed to catch him by the hand.

You’ll have to stop,” he pulled Nikias, and the magician found himself almost pressed against the wall. Damian approached him and bared his teeth carnivorously. Hunter over prey, no less. Yes, that’s exactly how Nikias’s every day went for almost a week now.

Stop! You have already gone beyond all acceptable limits! - the magician exclaimed, pulling his hand away.

“I didn’t even start,” the sorcerer slowly leaned towards him. Nikias deftly ducked, almost imperceptibly jumped out from under his hand and carefully backed away.

Isn’t now the best time to visit Mrs. Caitlin? - he suggested fearfully, looking into his dark eyes sparkling with displeasure.

“And I’ll come in someday,” the sorcerer grumbled, unhooking himself from the wall. -Are you going to run away from me forever?

“As long as possible,” the magician answered evasively, retreating.

And you're not interested at all? - Damian looked up at him, smiling slightly mockingly. But for some reason, it was this look of his that made Nikias, who was used to being in charge, feel especially uncomfortable.

This is unnatural! - the magician repeated the words he had already spoken once. - You are acting contrary to the laws of nature.

The sorcerer only chuckled contemptuously, placing his hand on his side.

“I don’t see anything wrong with my desires,” he objected. - Pleasure is not divided by gender. It simply is.

Nikias exhaled tiredly. This was not the first time he had heard these speeches, but until now he could not understand their meaning. How can someone be attracted to someone of the same gender? After all, the differences were what attracted and caught the eye. Men are similar to each other, just like women. But they are radically different from each other. They differ in body, thoughts, and the very manifestations of feelings! And understanding the nature of these mysterious creatures was what made one want them.

And of course, primitive instincts immediately woke up, as soon as one allowed only a fleeting thought about the ancient act of prolonging life.

Please, Damian,” Nikias begged once again. - Stop it, please.

But how interesting it is to watch your thoughts at such moments,” the sorcerer was amused. -You don't think at all like you say.

Of course, because I’m afraid of you,” the magician nodded in agreement. Arguing with someone who can kill with a snap of his fingers without even thinking about it is really dangerous. And Nikias understood perfectly well that it was useless to compete in strength with Gray.

“That’s only half the truth,” Damian said pointedly, raising an eyebrow. Nikias tried to come up with any excuse just to escape from the sorcerer, who had so suddenly decided to deepen their already not very warm relationship.

“And I’m also worried,” the magician squinted his eyes suspiciously. - But you yourself don’t let me see anything. I hid all my thoughts behind a shield, it’s hard for me to understand you.

So ask,” he approached again and extended his open palm. - Yes, I didn’t just get bored in the palace of your beloved Master Rein.

Nikias did not know where to escape from the horror mixed with curiosity. Any slightest manifestation of tenderness on the part of this man evoked primal fear, which made me want to hide in the farthest corner. In any other situation, Nikias would not have tolerated such treatment of his person. And if polite requests ceased to work, he would calmly use the power given to him and clearly explain the consequences of such vile actions. It's just Gray...

Do you want to hit me? - Damian asked insinuatingly. Nikias recoiled, not noticing his rapid approach. The sorcerer peered interestedly into the green of his eyes, imposingly positioned himself at an inadmissible distance.

Sometimes such thoughts come to mind,” the magician answered cautiously, backing away as far as possible from him until he again bumped into the wall. Damian bared his teeth again, as if he was already anticipating an interesting game. It became scary until my knees trembled. Nikias had rarely felt such unaccountable terror. Usually he was so worried when his mistress, who was also his beloved woman, was on the verge of death.

“Don’t be so scared of me,” the sorcerer said affectionately, resting his hand on the wall near his head. - I don’t bite at all.

He carefully, so as not to inadvertently scare him away, approached his face, peering piercingly into his suddenly widened eyes. His frightened and uncertain look was something new and untried for the sorcerer, experienced in a wide variety of emotions. When your views differ from the generally accepted ones, it becomes a very interesting activity to find a like-minded person. At all times there have been people like him: not dividing humanity into women and men. And even if there were very few of them. Finding them is no less exciting than later receiving a reward for your efforts.

Nikias seemed numb from his burning gaze. The whole world stopped, every movement of the sorcerer seemed so slow and viscous. All extraneous sounds disappeared, he heard only his heartbeat, which echoed in his ears as a deafening roar. Now was the very moment when it was necessary to run without looking back, despite the fear. But why does he so desperately resist this desire and simply look into those almost black eyes?

This is so much better,” a quiet, seductive whisper fanned his cheek with hot breath. “Magic... it’s just magic... so why?” Nikias tried his best to pull himself together, instilling this simple truth into his own consciousness. Only it, as if in mockery, ignored every word, dissolving in the depths of those enchanting eyes.

Enough games! - Nikias squeezed out of himself through force. The piercing gaze softened, became almost affectionate, caring.

“I told you,” Damian caught his hand, intertwining his fingers, “no games.” I am serious.

Nikias twitched, already preparing to extricate himself from this strange captivity, but a hot, sharp tongue, so unusually tenderly licking his earlobe, forced him to instinctively shudder. Panic grew in my chest, squeezing my desperately beating heart with tenacious claws. It’s strange... it wasn’t disgusting and disgusting like before. And even the always aggressive Gray wasn’t so scary now.

Damian... - Nikias called with a breath. The sorcerer smiled sweetly, pulling away slightly, and immediately came across the hungry gaze of usually frightened emerald eyes.

“Stop thinking,” he said in an instructive tone, decisively pulling him along with him.

Nikias still tried to resist. He was well aware of the seducer’s dirty intentions, but he never took a single step back. He only obediently followed in the suggested direction. My head was ready to explode from overwhelming thoughts. To his great amazement, the magician felt Gray's mood, every fleeting feeling. Of course, he still hid his plans, but these emotions... yes, they overwhelmed him.

Damian led him into chambers, he had no idea which ones. They were still in the guest wing of the palace, so it can be assumed that they were intended specifically for guests. This means, due to certain circumstances, they were completely empty. The sorcerer did not even want to look around the room - if he broke eye contact, the now compliant victim might wake up and run away.

With some sixth sense, Nikias realized the mistake he was making and his own helplessness in front of him. But that amazing range of feelings, which Damian was unable to hide, was simply mesmerizing. Pride and self-satisfaction prevailed, of course, but in complete contrast, a strange joy was also discernible, mixed with excited fear. And also... a little bit of happiness. The same happiness that a small child experiences when he sees his dad and mom. Pure, bright... so unusual for this dark man.

Tell me, do you still think that my actions are wrong? - the sorcerer whispered insinuatingly, carefully drawing the magician to him. He did not let go of his hand, squeezing his palm more and more tightly. Nikias shrugged his shoulders, turning over the words in his head, but never finding the right one. I wanted madly to know the reasons for that mysterious feeling that flickered so fleetingly in the dark eyes.

“I don’t understand,” Nikias answered quite sincerely. He smiled affectionately, his hand trembling almost imperceptibly. Now the magician felt anxiety and anticipation emanating from him in waves. Worried?

That’s how it should be,” the palm slowly slid over the chest and stopped at the collar, unfastening the small buttons. It was clear that he was very uncomfortable doing this with one hand, but Damian stubbornly did not let go of their intertwined fingers. Where does he have so much tenderness in him? Or is it just excitement? Fears that your hard-won prize will run away?

What is this? - Nikias couldn’t resist asking. And again that gentle smile, as if he was already tired of explaining.

There is no need to talk about it, you yourself know the answer,” the sorcerer opened his unbuttoned shirt with such difficulty and slowly approached, taking it off his shoulders.

Nikias unconsciously leaned forward. The mind resisted every movement, shouted curses, helpfully telling him how disgusted he should be from such bodily contacts. But he doesn’t turn back... contrary to common sense, he was actually drawn to this man. To this man!

The magician carefully raised his hand, brought it closer to his face, and cautiously traced the outline of his lower lip with his thumb. Listening to his own feelings, he continued to study his face. He outlined the prominent cheekbones with his fingers and ran along the bridge of the nose. The sorcerer winced almost imperceptibly, his intertwined fingers began to tremble again. Nikias didn’t immediately understand his reaction, but then he remembered. After all, Gray couldn’t stand other people’s touches, but he steadfastly endured these bullying, never once looking away.

Damian was a little lost in the sensations. The usual panic rose in my chest as soon as someone else’s fingers fluttered across my face. Even if the touches were pleasant, his face and stomach were his weak points, and touching his hands always awakened an ancient phobia. He endured only out of the greatest necessity. If he pulled away now, Nikias would run away, his heels sparkling. And this cannot be allowed.

Frankly amazed at the sorcerer's determination, the magician no longer began to test his strength, carefully descending on his neck. Judging by his gaze that instantly lost tension and calmed emotions, he guessed that he could touch here. Although he was a little jarred by each timid movement of his fingers, compared to those feelings, Damian was now quite calm. Nikias smiled for the first time, finally learning something about him that even Caitlin didn't know. And why did this make him so happy? No idea.

Do you want me to tell you something else? - the sorcerer suggested, clearly reading his last random thought. - If you promise to remain silent about it.

“I want,” Nikias nodded fervently, eagerly listening to every word, catching the movements of clearly defined lips.

“I like your hands much better than hers,” Damian whispered quietly, moving closer to his face. “And I also like your innocent thoughts.” I like to absorb my own feelings through the prism of your perception. You are the first one who can read minds, just like me. And this exchange is so intoxicating, do you feel how captivated I am by you?

Nikias swallowed convulsively, inhaling this cloying aroma. It smelled like pear and a little grape, but it was more tart, like musk. This was his inimitable and unique trail of aromas, which not everyone is destined to experience. I couldn’t wait to find out if the taste of his lips was the same or different?

The magician felt how the sorcerer internally laughed at his desires, and at the first second he scowled with insult. But after a moment there was no trace of anger left. Lips carelessly touched his own in a sensual kiss. There was no passion in him, just as there was no caution. Absolutely like a master, the tongue invaded his mouth, meeting almost no resistance.

Damian was pleasantly surprised when someone else's lips pliantly opened, allowing him to dominate this kiss. The thoughts that he was now reading in the magician’s head were difficult to characterize unambiguously. He tried in vain to bring himself back to consciousness, reminding him that these feelings were unreal, that these were only the consequences of magic. But at the same time, the sorcerer saw how he did not believe himself, how he strived to learn more in order to finally put his mind in order. The stupid ideals of inert public opinion were firmly ingrained in his head, forcing him to feel shame for his own actions.

“How much do you think,” Damian swore playfully again, burning with a sweet whisper. His hot lips moved to your ear, gently licking and biting. Nikias exhaled sharply, his palm unconsciously moved along his neck to the back of his head, and his fingers got tangled in his charcoal hair. Not to say it was unpleasant, but still panic stirred in his chest again, forcing the sorcerer to swallow, calming his psyche.

Now Nikias didn’t understand anything at all. The mind insisted that all this was wrong and disgusting, and meanwhile the body responded to every movement with a pulling languor somewhere in the lower abdomen. Nothing special happened in the meantime, just rapid breathing over his ear, and a hand leisurely ridding him of his shirt that was getting in the way. The sorcerer was experiencing the same contradictory feelings at that second, either worrying mixed with excitement, or falling into the stupor from a panic attack that had already been seen by the magician.

And now you’re acting strange,” Nikias remarked quietly, dropping his hand from the back of his head to his shoulder. - Are you okay?

“A little… confused,” the sorcerer answered for some reason in a trembling voice. But I still had to unclench my palm in order to finally take off my rather boring shirt.

You are not sure? - the magician was amazed. For a long time he was no longer aware of his actions, pulling up the clothing typical of sorcerers: a light black robe. - I don’t remember meeting you in such a state.

It happened a couple of times,” the sorcerer helped Nikias take off his clothes and threw them aside. The dark eyes flashed contentedly. - Is it so strange for you to see me like this?

It’s more strange this way,” Nikias carefully looked at him with an interested look, noting with regret that the male body did not repel him at all. However, it was not attractive.

How dispassionate,” the sorcerer noticed, briskly unbuttoned his pants and slowly took them off. Nikias seemed to sober up for a second, but when he encountered a penetrating gaze, the usual foggy haze returned. - No, today I won’t let you run away like that.

The magician did not answer, touching his broad chest with curiosity. Mmm, whatever you say, the touches are more compelling than just looking at his body. The sorcerer did not react in any way to this light touch. Although, why not? His breathing became unsteady, and craving clearly came to the fore in his emotions. What did he want more? Nikias stepped over the scattered clothes and forced the sorcerer to press against him, carefully kissing the corner of his lips. Stupid dope, so intoxicating that you can’t escape.

Damian smiled predatorily, even forgetting why he needed all this. However, in any case, the trap has slammed shut, and now you can allow yourself to enjoy the process. Moreover, he himself experienced a great variety of emotions of different strengths and colors. And he saw each one in the magician’s thoughts and felt it again in himself. Oh, how indescribable it is!

Nikias completely forgot in his arms and intoxication. It was extremely strange to feel this way in his arms. But the magician no longer wanted to run away from his own desires. Now he understood the sorcerer’s words a little better; it was impossible to feel something like that with a woman. It's embarrassing, but somehow especially pleasant.

He did not immediately realize that the sorcerer again touched the pit behind his ear with his lips, biting. Thousands of sparks flashed through the body, and my vision swam. It was difficult to discern anything in the veil, only the feeling of someone else's body. Belatedly, he also felt a slight pressure forcing him to retreat back. And until he collided with the bed, falling onto it in surprise, he did not understand at all what they had managed to approach.

Hovering over him, the sorcerer gently pushed him on the shoulder, causing Nikias to fall on his back. He himself didn’t stop for a moment, crawling on top and settling comfortably on his hips. The obvious excitement of both was clearly felt with every careless movement. Damian never left his thoughts, absorbing every cautious desire and every flickering emotion. And Nikias thought very loudly.

Stop trying to comprehend all this,” the sorcerer reprimanded him once again, unusually deftly tearing off both their underwear – the last obstacle that could stop them.

This is too much... - a new kiss did not allow him to finish. God, how different it was from the previous one! No more tenderness, no... just hot thirst! Yes, it was thirst, as if he had been waiting for several centuries. It was so profoundly exciting that my consciousness literally drowned in this pressure.

"More!" This one word was spinning in his head, making him forget about embarrassment and his own prejudices! "More!" Get it without reserve, regardless of the price offered. "More!" And he sees these thoughts, these desires, and fulfills each of them with humility. "More! Please think about it again!” Dirty lust mixed with the bright excitement in Gray's feelings, and now Nikias was a little afraid of him. But along with fear, he himself became infected with this lust, already confidently exploring his broad back with his hands, going down to his buttocks.

And Damian himself went crazy, greedily biting into those long-pliable lips. There is no need to be gentle or caring anymore. Gray is a fierce lover and even a little selfish. And after I achieved my goal, I no longer wanted to delay and deprive myself of all the pleasure. I spread his thighs with my knee, gently stroking the inside, covering his chest with random kisses. He had done this hundreds of times with hundreds of people, but now for some reason he hesitated. The excitement returned, although it was interrupted by wild desire.

Slowly he raised his head and touched his lips with his index finger. Nikias was breathing so quickly that he seemed about to suffocate or lose consciousness. His eyes burning with madness, however, as well as the same chaotic thoughts, made it clear that he would not think about anything else, and did not want to. The sorcerer gently pressed - a silent request to open his mouth.

Nikias was so immersed in these multifaceted feelings that he had already voluntarily abandoned any arguments of reason. He sucked the fingers in his mouth greedily, noting with pleasure Gray’s half-closed gaze and indescribable excitement. His lips were so temptingly parted, again there was a desire to dig into them, like into a bottle of excellent alcohol.

Damian laughed quietly at these thoughts, so different from those he had seen all these days. I even wanted to help, to make an usually painful process as pleasant as possible. Pulling it out of his mouth, he slowly lowered his hand and inserted one finger, peering intently into the dramatically changed face.

Oh! How painful! Nikias seemed to only now understand what exactly they wanted to do to him, and fidgeted restlessly. The sorcerer kissed him tenderly again, as if lulling him to sleep. My initiative immediately decreased, but not enough to completely relax. Gray saw how he wanted to run away, he almost decided to do it, but his hands just didn’t want to let go of his strong shoulders. The sorcerer caught his palm again and intertwined his fingers: don’t be afraid, they say, I’m here.

Quiet... relax... - he whispered languidly, with a slight hoarseness, into your ear, slightly licking it. - I'll try to be gentle.

Nikias considered several answers, but still remained silent, and the sorcerer just as carefully inserted a second finger, and after a few painful moments, a third. Damian had been the first many times, but he had never tried to share this pain before. He allowed other people's thoughts to flow through his consciousness, almost physically feeling the same as his partner. It was so new to him and at the same time painfully tempting.

There was no point in waiting any longer, and Damian pulled out his fingers, replacing them with what he was supposed to have. Nikias jerked in fear, the hand in his palm clenched convulsively. The sorcerer was in no hurry, acted as carefully as he could, but still, through his thoughts, he felt how painfully painful he was now. Gentle stroking of the buttocks and thighs was a little distracting, but quickly lost in the general flow of acute pain.

“I will share this pain with you,” the sorcerer whispered, waiting until he could begin. - Relax. Trust me.

Nikias clenched his teeth, holding back the screams that were bursting out. Tears involuntarily flowed from his eyes, and he closed his eyes, hiding this shameful weakness. However, there was no need to mention shame. The magician himself would not have dared to describe the entire chaotic cycle of feelings that he was now experiencing. But most importantly, it was incredibly painful and treacherously embarrassing.

All this time, Damian did not close his mind, fully feeling the whole palette of emotions. And when I finally received the mental green light, I tried my first timid movements. Nikias was shaking mercilessly, the first painful sob and groan broke the reigning silence. A gentle kiss and a few more careful movements, proven over the years, and moans were gradually filled with lust. And after a couple of dozen rough thrusts, they began to accumulate depraved lust.

Sex... how many facets does this seemingly simple activity have? With a fierce rhythm and a hoarse roar in your ear came a pleasure unique in its nature. Nikias understood that the sorcerer was no longer trying to keep himself in check, and very eloquent emotions indicated that it was not in vain that he waited inside him for so long until he got used to it. He accumulated excitement and was able to raise it to such a height that Nikias himself became infected with these feelings, despite the echoes of pain.

Hoarse moans... hot bodies... the cloying smell of perverted pleasure... All this was more mind-blowing than a couple of bottles of excellent booze. Damian did not close, greedily absorbing his every mental cry. Nikias did not allow himself to moan so openly, burying his lips in his shoulder. But in someone else’s head, for each of his rough pushes, the sorcerer received a stunning response in the form of sweet trembling and excited screams.

He lowered his hand to the groin area, squeezing, stroking with his palm. Low growling moans still reached his ears, and the sorcerer echoed them with the same depraved hum. Tension covered the entire body, spreading from bottom to top, filling every cell. The rhythm broke, accelerated to the impossible, until it suddenly froze, reaching that point of no return, when every thought scattered with a small explosion, allowing the body to plunge into a sweet trance.

Damian woke up first. Breathing had not yet been restored, and the body did not obey well. But the sorcerer hurried to get up and put on his usual clothes, simultaneously collecting his partner’s things from the floor. He was still lying there, not even moving. Gray looked at him with interest for a while, and then carefully covered him with a blanket, folded his clothes on the edge of the bed and left the guest quarters.

Something inside clicked as soon as he closed the door, but the sorcerer did not pay attention to it. He went much further than he should have in such a situation, but curiosity overpowered reason. Nikias’s thought suddenly came to mind. It took him a long time to figure out why he felt happiness in Gray’s eyes. Damian thought about it. Really, why? None of the magician’s guesses, of course, came close to the truth, but still... however, the sorcerer discarded this thought too. He had more important things to do than think about his own emotions. Perhaps he'll think about it later?

The article talks about how to understand yourself and achieve your desired goals.

There are moments in every person’s life when he seems to stand at a fork in the road and doesn’t know which way to move. Sometimes these moments of crisis are directly caused by a difficult situation, dissatisfaction with work, or personal life. Sometimes they have no obvious cause and appear as if out of thin air. One way or another, it interferes with your life and brings anxiety. How to understand yourself and your thoughts: advice from a psychologist.

In order to understand oneself, a person needs specifics. Just sit down and analyze. Better with a piece of paper and a pen. Ask yourself specific questions and try to give specific answers. Try to formulate in clear words the problem that worries you. If you succeed, you are halfway to success.

Having realized that you are not happy with the current state of affairs, make a plan to get out of this crisis. Learn to better organize the events of your life, plan your steps and time. You don’t want to get bogged down in endless “musts” without moving, do you? Realize the uniqueness of every moment in life, learn to make the most of it. Live here and now. How to understand yourself and your thoughts: advice from a psychologist will answer this question.

• For starters, you can rejoice. If you are prone to self-examination, it means that you think, you exist! A huge number of “human units” live like zombies or robots, mechanically doing the same things day after day, and do not even ask such questions.
• You understand that if you don’t go anywhere, you won’t come anywhere. Therefore, separate the wheat from the chaff, the significant from the unimportant, and act. If you are not satisfied with the salary, ask for an increase; if you want a promotion, attend courses to improve your skills, get additional education. If it doesn’t work out, change your job.
• Family problems? Talk, find out, explain. Tell directly what your partner doesn’t like or offends you about, this will raise your self-esteem and reduce the reason for dissatisfaction with yourself. After all, often the reason for our tossing is precisely the confidence that something is wrong with us, ripened claims against ourselves.
• If you realize that life circumstances are such that they cannot be moved from a dead point yet, learn to accept this and be patient. Calm down. Remember the age-old wisdom about the necessity: to change what you can change, to accept what you cannot change, and the ability to distinguish one from the other.
• Take a philosophical look at your life. Realize that life is cyclical, and after a black stripe a white one will certainly come. Think about life, about the people you know who you want to emulate. Remember that they also had difficult moments, but they coped with it and are now satisfied with life, happy, successful.
• Sometimes your problems are partly imaginary. You just need to distract yourself a little by going to a theater performance, or meeting old friends over a cup of coffee in a pleasant place, and finally getting a good night's sleep. Perhaps in a couple of days you will look at your life from a different angle, without the former tragedy.
• Are turmoil in your soul and depressive notes returning to you? Do not hesitate to visit a psychologist, although it is not very common for our mentality to share problems with a stranger. You need to understand that this is a doctor, a person who has studied for many years to help people solve their personal problems. With his advice, a psychologist will help you understand yourself and your thoughts. And – the joy of life and peace of mind will definitely return.

The human brain is not a generator of thoughts, but only their receiver and transmitter...

We - people - are like walking “transceivers” that are located inside the information field. Our brain is not a generator of thoughts, but rather a receiver and transmitter at the same time. It's like a cellular network, where we are like walking cell phones operating on the same band. Just a question? Who is the owner, who is the operator of this network of thought forms...

We hear from everywhere that a person is the master of his thoughts and lives according to them, but where is the guarantee that these are his thoughts. If we are careful, we will see that our thoughts are tuned from the outside.

For example, by reading this material, you are automatically retuned. And after you read it, your thoughts will flow in a different direction than before. Here is another example of a hidden reconfiguration of our mind: we are walking, thinking, say, about something “of our own,” and then bang... a store window... and that... aam... Or the radio... Or the TV... And our thoughts instantly flowed in the direction created by the owners of the source of information. It follows that the external environment also changes its meaning on our flow of thoughts. This means that thoughts are changeable and impermanent, because they, in general, are not ours, but common, even when we think about purely personal things.

It happens that we can stubbornly think about the same thing for a long time - it gets stuck in cycles due to a strong desire or problem, until the consciousness gets tired of one frequency of thoughts, and automatically or with the help of a headache, switches to another.

Thoughts are a product of human attention. Attention is the focusing of consciousness on a certain frequency.

The weak point of attention is submission to both the internal intention of a person and the external vibration of space. An ordinary person lives by external influence. He completely “floats” in the frequency broth of the matrix and his thoughts are the thoughts of the matrix.

Attention has several levels, but what is below is also above. In our world, attention is subordinated to the mind, ego and body, and all of this, in turn, is subordinated to the matrix. Hence, our attention is mechanical and seems chaotic. But when we leave the body and find ourselves in another reality, our attention will leave the influence of the three-dimensional matrix and become autonomous - we will consciously manage our attention, which many call meditation. But this is not entirely correct, real meditation is generally an exit to a meaningless state, but this can happen if consciousness has reached a certain level.

We think that by refocusing our attention, we can change our program or our destiny. There are many examples when a person radically changes his life. But it is not so. Space, a program or a matrix cannot allow all its mechanisms, including people, to function on their own, so there is a plan where everything is interconnected. When a person is born, he has a certain range of free will within which he can move, choosing his future.

For example, a person can be poor, of average income, but never rich, owning factories and ships. And when we move within this permitted range, we get the feeling that we choose our own destiny. But if you look closely, we wish and think according to the “corridor” that was provided to us. We think - well... I wanted this... and I got it. But we got exactly as much as we wanted and thought about it. The catch is that desires and thoughts come to us strictly within our range of freedom of choice. It seems to us that we wanted this, when in fact fate’s program wanted it.

But there is a catch. And these desires are the mechanism through which the matrix manipulates a person’s attention, and therefore his thoughts. Using human-charged thought forms, a reality is created that is beneficial to behind-the-scenes managers. Further - more: it is worth looping the energy flows or thoughts of people into one network and that's it - billions will think and act within strictly defined boundaries. As soon as the “operator” throws a packet of thoughts into the general network, it immediately scatters fractally through millions of people or transceivers. Currently, the means of mass media are widely used for this, which simplifies the life of the “gray cardinals” in the matrix program itself.

By programming desire in people, thought forms are formed. A person, in principle, cannot live without desire, since in him this mechanism is the driving force. We can say that our desires are the foundation of experience.

Thoughts that arise from desire create our reality. Hence, desires play the most important role for a person, and the thoughts that embody them are hidden in the subconscious. These are thoughts that we are not aware of, we do not attach importance to them, since they have long been the background in our consciousness. Therefore, far-fetched visualization will lead nowhere. Those thought forms that have long been sitting deep in the consciousness will come true. They are what shape our reality.

For example, an amateur visualizes the great ascension in meditation, sending his thoughts to the Creator, when in fact he has dissatisfaction with himself in his subcortex... he wants the same thing as millions of people - ordinary human happiness. So what will work? First or second?

But for some reason, many lovers of sublime thought forms forget that with their noisy urge they drive even deeper hidden desires, and therefore real thoughts that embody desires. So it turns out that thoughts, even the most sublime ones, remain beyond the reach of the body. While thoughts take attention away from the body, meanwhile the body remains unattended, subject to strong external influences. We think that we are unusual because we think “on the scale of the universe,” but in fact, in everyday life we ​​act exactly the same as billions of people. After all, reality is what we feel and experience with our body and senses.

We are encouraged by all sorts of advanced topics, that the body is not important, but the spirit is important, that we need to think about the spirit. Personally, I’m interested in how you can think about something you have no idea about. It turns out that we are simply abstracting ourselves, shifting our attention to the unknown. And at this time, our energy is being used, first of all, by those who so stubbornly promote the hoax. It’s as if I, “soul,” were riding in a car, “body,” and for me at that moment it was not the ride and the car that were important, but only the “spirit,” translated as “route,” then most likely I would quickly found himself on the side of the road in a broken car.

While our thoughts are artificially occupied with something other than ourselves, our consciousnesses are squeezed out by manipulating our bodies. We came into this world and put on bodies in order to consciously receive the necessary lessons, according to the intention of the higher self. But we are used by blocking the channel from the higher self to our body, in order to then use the energy of the soul. By taking away our awareness, the matrix feeds it into a reality that is alien to us. And when we lose contact with our highest source, we fall asleep, turning into biorobots who desire and think only about what the matrix needs, and this is unconsciousness.

When we want something strongly, such as to become spiritual, enlightened, we must first figure out what or who wants it in us. Maybe this is the ego speaking in us or... At this moment, most likely we are in the mind, in imaginary worlds and myths. When we imagine something, our attention automatically shifts from the level of the body to the level of the mind.

We can dream and think for years, but all this will be just an abstraction until we understand ourselves, learn to read the necessary vibrations, distinguish ours from others, make decisions, take responsibility and act. There are many smart people who talk about the beauty of human thought, philosophize about harmony and prosperity, but in reality they cannot even clean their apartment and wash the dishes, improve their health and body, or organize their lives. And all because they are trapped in the mind. Their attention is completely captured by conclusions, and meanwhile the body vegetates unattended, creating problems.

When we shift our attention to the level of the body, listen to it, we automatically come out of the influence of the mind, but not the mind, and begin to live in the “now,” because the body has no past and future, but only “here and now.” This does not mean that we are becoming dumber, on the contrary, our consciousness is freed from the eternal chatter of the mind, with its virtual reality, and we begin to be rational beings. Reason is not mind, but a much higher substance. The mind is tied to the matrix and is its spy, while the mind is connected to the supermind. It is only because of the chatty mind in everyday life that we cannot listen to it, be on its frequency and live wisely.

When the mind does not bother us and does not drag us into daydreaming, or does not get stuck on one thing, for example, only on family, everyday life, work, children, survival, car, problem, illness, then we can perceive our world spherically and soberly, and not dissolve in mythical realities like Shambhala or “standard normal human happiness.” Otherwise, why are we here in bodies? They would float in the air and create any illusions.

Our body is an instrument for the formation of consciousness. And the more we are with our attention in the now, and the body most easily collects our attention through sensations, the easier it is for us to get out of the everyday chatter of society into a state where we are one with the world.

In order to break out of the common thought form, you need to disconnect from the common network of billions of people. This process is called non-doing. Just don’t confuse this concept with a lax attitude towards life. This means not allowing the matrix to use our mind as one of the translators in the general network of “everyday” thought forms. To do this, you need to stop thinking like everyone else, stopping the endless stream of thoughts that rape our consciousness.

Of course, we cannot completely isolate ourselves from the thoughts of society, but this is impossible. But we can block the flow of unconscious thoughts to save our energy resources. After all, we know that everyday uncontrollable thoughts take away our energy. And vice versa, if we are not carried away by the thought forms of the matrix, then our attention is attuned to the highest source, from where we receive fuel for a conscious life. We disconnect from the matrix network and connect to a higher source, changing the information field.

A program is a closed circuit where energy moves according to a given contour. Therefore, we constantly repeat ourselves, and our life runs according to this chain. To change, you need to interrupt the usual flow of time. And to do this you must first want to. But our desires are again trapped by common desires. If we are sincere, we can track down our true desires, and not those that someone else needs.

All these are, of course, words. But how can you actually get out of the influence of the matrix, at least in your thoughts? It's simple and difficult at the same time. Simply because you need to turn off or stop everything, not pay attention - just observe the flow of habitual thoughts, not get attached to them, let them “float” on the periphery of our consciousness. But at the same time it is difficult, since the mind clings to the slightest movement of thoughts in space. And as soon as the mind gets hooked, the grinding of “bones” begins. But never make the mistake of slowing down or trying to calm your thoughts by force of will; this will only multiply them exponentially.

Thoughts, concepts, experiences of the past, illusions and plans for the future - all this is for the mind, like a bone for a dog...

But most importantly, in order to shift consciousness, you need free energy. That’s why it’s better to throw out everything from life that drains us. And while we are trapped by desires, it is not so simple. Our entire spiritual practice again depends on fate. If there is such a possibility in our range of free choice, then we can do it.

A person cannot, swimming in philistine frequencies, achieve pure consciousness. Pure consciousness is when the mind creates thought forms according to the inner intention of the being. There is no access for any mental rubbish from the outside. Pure consciousness draws thoughts from the supermind, and not from the information waste swamp of society or the matrix.

Try to come up with something new while living in the midst of human thoughts. Don’t grind like a mill, everything is the same and for the same reason, and so on every day. But as soon as you stop the endless chatter in your head, your mind clears and brightens. And so, when our mind becomes completely bright and transparent, then the same bright and sublime thoughts will certainly flow to us. Because like attracts like.

We cannot jump over ourselves and over programs, but we can sabotage unnecessary mental processes, stop living in other people's thoughts, then we will have free up space in our minds and we will feel awareness. This means that our higher self has a place to put insights so that we can manifest them in our own individual way. And this is a reasonable life, and not a miserable existence in the chattering mind of opinions...