In general, I myself have never been a pessimist, and I tried to see only the good in everything. But I don’t deny that I have had moments of pessimism, and what kind of ones!
It’s a pity that I didn’t come across this article at that time. The article is very simple and the advice is not complicated. But they can certainly help. Read it too if you are prone to pessimism.
At the very beginning of the article, it is explained how pessimism is harmful to our health. And in the end, it also lays out point by point how you can fight pessimism.
Of course, all people are different, so choose a method or two that suits you. And enjoy it for your health. Moreover, pessimism directly shortens life, and you didn’t even know?
And a little more for those who have panic attacks. After all, the site is dedicated to panic. The description of the functioning of the organs of a pessimist is very similar to what happens in the body during a panic attack.
This means that the methods of struggle described at the end of the article are quite suitable for fighting or preventing panic attacks. Look at them carefully and try them!
When there are only gloomy thoughts in your head and you always expect the worst, your body is stressed, tense, and does not know rest. It's like over-throttle in a car: it's good at the start, but it ruins the engine when you abuse it.
Researchers unanimously say: pessimists usually have higher blood pressure, higher cholesterol levels in the blood, and have heart pain more often. A negative outlook on life hits you hard inside. These organs suffer from your pessimism:
1. Liver
To prepare for the upcoming challenge (“fight or flight”), the liver begins to process stored glycine into glucose (fuel for the entire body). Completely useless work if there is actually nowhere to run and no one to hit.
2. Kidneys and intestines
The vessels through which blood flows to the internal organs contract, causing urine production and digestion to slow down. Again: this is only good if you really need to fight or flee.
3. Amygdala
The amygdala, or amygdala, is the processor in your brain that processes emotions. It is she who detects an unpleasant event and sounds the alarm - triggers the “fight or flight” mechanism, the only possible response of the nervous system to a stressful situation.
4. Spinal cord
The alarm literally shoots through the spinal cord, spreading through the nervous system and putting all your internal organs on high alert for anything bad that might happen.
5. Respiratory system
The respiratory muscles (thanks to their work, inhalations and exhalations are made) become more elastic. The airways expand, breathing quickens - in response to the body's request for additional oxygen.
6. Heart
The heart rate quickens, the blood pressure rises. Pro-inflammatory cytokines - molecules that provoke atherosclerosis - enter the bloodstream.
7. Adrenal glands
When the stress caused by a pessimistic mood is at its height, the adrenal glands produce adrenaline, cortisol and other hormones that spur the heart to work at increased speed.
But optimists, according to researchers, can be found more often in the gym, their diet is usually healthier, and they smoke less often. Think about it carefully and read on.
Light at the end
“Imagine optimism as another muscle in your body,” Dr. Jeffrey Huffman, head of the department of psychocardiology at Massachusetts General Hospital, instructs all pessimists. “If you train it regularly, it grows and gets stronger.” At least once a week, upgrade your worldview with the help of a mental workout like this.
1. Think about the past
Remember past achievements or just events that pleasantly tickled your pride. “This way you will remember that your abilities lead to positive consequences for you,” says Dr. Huffman.
2. Savor the present
Before you go to bed, think of three good things that happened to you during the day. "This is a great way to get the optimistic genie out of the jar, even if you're generally weighed down by negative emotions," recommends Huffman.
3. Imagine the future
Imagine what your life should ideally look like in five years. The more details you come up with, the better. And then focus on what is achievable. Are you sure you can’t handle the new Touareg? To hell with it, take a used one!
Every person has different difficulties in life: big and small. But some go through all the hardships, do not give up and move on in life, while others, even with minor difficulties, lose self-confidence. According to many experts, the reaction to how a person treats his failures shows whether he is an optimist or a pessimist.
For example, a person is looking for a job, goes for an interview and is rejected. What thoughts does he have at this time? Perhaps he thinks that the problem is only about him, that no one needs such an employee, that the situation is hopeless and he will never get a job. It’s even worse if he sees everything in a gloomy light and says that he is good for nothing and is not needed by anyone. In both cases there is obvious pessimism. How to deal with it?
There are two steps. The first and most important step in the fight against pessimism is the ability to recognize negative thoughts, and the second is to fight them. If negative thoughts appear, then look at this situation from a different point of view. Perhaps you were rejected because the employer simply needed someone with different qualifications.
If, under the influence of pessimistic thoughts, you tend to exaggerate what happened, then turn to specific facts. Remember other aspects of your life where you are more successful: in family life, in relationships with friends, in the ability to do something with your own hands, etc. After all, if they refused to hire you, this does not mean that you are not capable no matter what. Stop your tendency to dramatize events. Don't let negative thoughts and emotions rule your life. Remember, things are not what you think you are, and you are capable of more.
There are other ways to combat pessimism - this is positive thinking and determination. According to the researchers, a narrow understanding of the word “hope” implies confidence that a person can achieve a goal. Therefore, focusing on your personal hopes develops positive thinking and determination.
How can we believe that we will achieve our goal in the future? To do this, you need to learn how to set these goals for yourself and achieve them. Due to the daily routine and hustle and bustle, a person often loses sight of what he really wants from life and what is most important to him. It is necessary to set clear priorities.
When priorities are set, then it becomes easier to outline the main goals in different areas of your life. But first you need to set easily achievable goals. If you immediately set a big goal that is difficult to achieve and will take a lot of time, it will have a depressing effect and lead to “capitulation.” It is better to divide a large goal into smaller ones and achieve them one by one in a short time.
Once you have identified your main goals, achieving them requires desire and determination. To strengthen your resolve, reflect on the importance of your goals and the results of achieving them. Of course, obstacles will arise, but you need to treat them not as dead ends, but as peaks that you can conquer.
Also outline practical ways for yourself to achieve these goals. It is recommended to find several such methods at once - if one does not suit, try the second, third, etc.
In addition, learn to replace one goal with another. After all, if you fail to achieve a goal, this can lead to despondency, and by replacing it with a more realistic one, you will have hope again.
So, to combat pessimism, develop positive thinking and determination!
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Our life is structured in such a way that everything in it is constantly changing - events and circumstances, feelings and emotions, people in our environment... There is not a single condition that has not undergone any changes over a long period of time. And if even the landscape outside our window is subject to the seasons, then what can we say about our inner world, which sometimes weakens under the influence of life’s “storms”?
I am often asked the question: “Olga, have you always been an optimist in life or have you learned this over the years? Share how to overcome pessimism and a negative attitude."
I, like many of you, grew up in a Soviet family. My dad's parents lived next to us, and we saw each other every day. I remember, as now, that I constantly heard from my grandfather about how bad, hopeless and gloomy everything in this life is and how everyone around, except himself, is to blame for everything. To be honest, this started to amuse me over time. I stopped taking all his negativity seriously and just listened to another story. On the other side was my grandmother, who always found positive moments even in the most difficult circumstances, never despaired, and somehow lived with my grandfather all her life. Apparently, she simply developed immunity. Looking at these two polarities since childhood, I came to a conclusion about life and my attitude towards it, which is very clearly expressed in the quote by George Thomas: “He who thinks negatively sees difficulty in every opportunity. He who thinks positively sees every difficulty as an opportunity.”
Each of us has a choice.
Every second we make a choice about who to be in a given period of time - an optimist or a pessimist. First thoughts come, then emotions, and only then the corresponding reactions, and from this life turns towards us either to face us, or... you know what :-)
Each of us independently makes a decision - to learn to manage these processes or to let everything take its course, continuing to blame people, circumstances and be angry with life.
The good news is that any person, feeling the emergence of negative notes in his mood and worldview, is able to prevent unpleasant consequences by performing a number of certain actions. Today I share them with you - they have repeatedly helped not only me, all my family and friends, but also thousands of people around the world. Remember them, and if passivity and pessimism set in, you will know how to act...
1. Start meditating or doing yoga.
Scientists from the University of Wisconsin have found that meditation increases the activity of the cerebral cortex, which is responsible for feelings of joy and happiness. Meditation makes the mind calm and stable, allows you to quickly get out of a stressful state, enjoy life and not waste precious time on “poisoned”, negative thoughts, feelings and emotions. Just as you cleanse your home, keep it comfortable and fill it with a positive atmosphere, with the help of meditation you cleanse the temple of your soul and fill it with new bright energy. You can start with daily 10-minute meditations and further improve your skill.
Yoga is also considered one of the best remedies for depression. By practicing yoga, a person learns to realize himself, his true nature, re-recognizes his own body and becomes closer to himself. Yoga develops intuition, gives peace of mind and, most importantly, awareness. Everything you do takes on a new meaning, only you yourself become the master of your destiny and gain inner strength that can work miracles and change your life for the better.
2. Remember that no one is perfect and compare yourself to yourself, not others.
Have you ever compared yourself to friends or colleagues? Some people have a better car, some have a more beautiful apartment, others have excellent students, and a slimmer figure... And there are more and more such reasons for disappointment in one’s own success and importance. But where do such thoughts lead?
Analyze your thoughts, do not even allow yourself to mentally compare yourself with others. Your actions depend on your thoughts, and your life depends on your actions. Be proud of yourself. Think: what things have you done and what have you achieved in this or that area? Write a list of things that make you proud of yourself. Describe your talents, your advantages, your victories. Re-read the list in moments of doubt and loss of strength and try to add to it every day.
Compare yourself only with yourself - yourself today with yourself yesterday. Think about what you have achieved, what you have been able to change in yourself, how much progress you have made towards your goal or dream.
3. Start helping others, even in small ways.
By giving good, we receive good . The good you have done and the help you have given to people will come back to you at the right moment. It is no coincidence that by helping others, we help ourselves first of all. If you have an urge to help other people, then boldly go for it. Let your intention to help be spontaneous and absolutely sincere. Remember that nothing in this world passes without a trace. Today you helped, and tomorrow they will help you.
4. Reconsider your environment because your environment = your reality.
Our environment includes absolutely everything: the information we receive, our home, food, nature, favorite things, relationships with finances and even with ourselves... But first of all, those with whom we communicate. Make sure that there are as many people around you as possible who share your desire for success, have a positive outlook on life, tell you where to go, push you to achieve big goals, share experiences and give support. And although it can be difficult to review and change your usual environment, this is a necessary step to achieve internal and external harmony. For every negative relative (whom you did not choose), let you have two positive friends. You will very soon notice how his negativity will become simply neutral for you.
5. Do something pleasant and unplanned for yourself.
Buy a bouquet of flowers and decorate your home, inhale the aroma and smile. Or give yourself a body care product that you've been wanting for a long time, but thought you couldn't afford. Or that same dress in the window that you pass by every day, sighing. If you are tired and run around, treat yourself to idleness. Do something you've been wanting to do for a long time, but have been putting off due to lack of time. Sing to your soul and in your soul. Go to the theater, take a walk in the park, start sewing, drawing, re-read the classics, watch your favorite movie... Pamper yourself! Allow yourself small joys, fill your life with them, and then there will be more emotions, good mood and satisfaction in it. And remember: if you don’t pamper yourself, then no one will pamper you!
6. Do not assume the outcome of events in advance.
The future attracts some, but scares others, especially when there is not enough information about it. And it is precisely in such moments of uncertainty that we begin to groundlessly assume the worst. Our consciousness is structured in such a way that, in conditions of lack of information, many, instead of searching for it, begin to complete reality, and, as a rule, in gloomy tones. Why is this happening? It's all about increased sensitivity, touchiness and various fears, which are the reasons for this self-intimidation.
But did you know that 90% of the time, the things people worry about will never happen? Try to learn to control your subconscious, which loves to scare us so much. Give him positive attitudes: “Everything will be fine”, “We will win!”, and not the other way around. Try to learn to enjoy life by treating everything as a game.
7. Consciously change your “cinema.”
Learn to play out unpleasant life situations in a positive way. If something did not turn out during the day the way you would like, then you can replay the scenario of the past day. If you are in a negative mood, have a few very positive “pictures” in stock for this case, pull these “pictures” out of your subconscious and, while falling asleep, enjoy them.
What will help you change your “cinema” faster? Favorite music, friendly conversation? Do it right now and establish it as your lifestyle. Thus, with the help of your thoughts you will program your future.
Remember - it’s not for nothing that despondency is considered one of the greatest sins, because it slowly but surely, day after day, deprives you of your inner strength and energy. Learn to transform this state, and you will always be fully prepared, even if everything in your life does not go as you would like. Find like-minded people who will always support you, take advice from world experts who share with you proven life strategies that help in such situations, but most importantly, never doubt yourself. You are unique and inimitable and you have all the necessary resources to achieve everything you dream of. Therefore, let your moments of weakness be just minutes, and the rest of the time be positive, bright and productive!
With love,
Olga Yakovleva
and the Academy of Experts team
P.S. How do you combat pessimism? What methods do you use and which ones always help you? Share in the comments.
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| Heading:And from our window the grapevine is visible
Pessimism has deep roots. We inherit something from our relatives by genes. That is, if your parents and grandparents loudly repeated: “Don’t become an optimist! Never!”, then it will be more difficult for you. It will be even more difficult for you if your parents never thought about an optimistic outlook on life and believed that it was better to think about the bad. Then at least there won't be disappointment if bad things happen. Yet pessimism is not the best life strategy. Because it has long been proven that optimists move through life faster and more confidently and achieve their goals. It’s simply more pleasant to live and communicate with them! Optimists move the world. Pessimists do not let it capsize. How to overcome pessimism? How to become a more optimistic person? I wrote about this in detail. And here you can read about my next experiment about how I tried to overcome the pessimism in me.
Martin Seligman identifies four ways to convince pessimistic thoughts of their inconsistency:
1. Where is the evidence?
2. Don’t cling to yourself - there were probably other reasons for what happened.
3. Trouble has occurred. So what? Learning to “drag”
Over the course of a week, I tried each of them, and more than once! It turned out that I am an incorrigible pessimist! Where is the proof? Serious pessimistic thoughts like “I’m so tired of all this”, “everything is bad for me”, “I’m a useless housewife” visited me eight times in a week! And you can’t even count the little things. So what? I dealt with pessimistic thoughts with one left, that is, one left... hemisphere. And it’s not worth counting the little things, because there was another reason for all this - we were moving!
Wednesday was spent under the motto “Who is faster” - I stack the boxes or Daniel (my youngest son) lays them out. At first I was faster, but Daniel improved his tactics. He began to climb into the boxes, and all I saw after that was his hand throwing out all the contents and sly eyes peeking out from time to time from the defensive structure.
“I’ll take both children to sports,” my husband took pity on me, and you can pack in peace.
Great! Only Alexander doesn’t like to go to sports in the evenings.
And I will offer him to ride on his own bicycle without pedals, he will not refuse.
And so it happened. With anxiety in my soul, I watched my husband on a bicycle with a trailer, in which Daniel was sitting, and Sasha, weaving along the road next to him. Nothing will come of it. He won't make it! It will fall and break!Where is the proof? They are not and cannot be, because they have never traveled so far in such a configuration! But there is no evidence, there is no point in making a mountain out of a molehill. March to collect boxes! And I trudged to the fourth floor. And the disturbing thoughts disappeared as soon as I plunged into getting ready.
I never thought that this process could be such a pleasure when no one interferes :) Ah, the children arrived safe and sound, happy and smiling, two hours later.
Since this morning I have been haunted by the thought of participating in the competition “What has changed in my life after I became a blogger.” What a competition! Need to pack! And faster than Daniel unpacks! Everything should be ready on Saturday and I only have one room packed into boxes! I won't be able to do anything! Where is the proof? There are none. I have moved many times already, including several times abroad and back to Russia, and it’s okay, I didn’t miss the plane and didn’t pay much extra for the excess. But then I didn’t have Daniel. Yes... These 12 kilograms greatly outweigh me. I will have time to do everything if I refuse this competition. Great. My thoughts calmed down and inspiration awoke. Giving up something is my favorite technique. After it, I always returned to what I had planned with a great energy charge. This is what I needed. You have already read about the result
My husband's parents came to my aid. My mother-in-law repacked several boxes for me and did it four times faster than me. Everything turned out smooth and smooth for her. And everything in my boxes is crooked and askew. I'm a lousy housewife. Ding-ding! I’m really not the best housewife, but I have a PhD degree! Moreover, legal sciences, not household sciences. The pessimistic enemy is defeated and flees the battlefield.
Saturday. Moving day.
We get up at seven in the morning. A car with loaders should arrive at half past seven. My biggest fear is that they won't come. They probably won’t come... We’re starting to “detragize.” Even if they don't come, we still have two weeks left to move. Let's find others. Without worrying at all, I poured myself some tea and stood by the window, looking at the road. Why not look at her one last time. Especially when a red truck pulls up to our entrance.
Sunday
Hurray! We moved! Everyone is equally happy - we finally have our own home! And they are dissatisfied in their own way. The husband is racking his brains over how he will connect the Internet to his work area. I look at the overgrown garden with three cacti and think how I will dig everything out there and create a patriotic flowerbed! Daniel loudly complains that he can no longer stand on the toilet and splash in the sink - it's too far away.
Daniel! - I shout to him to the place of his new splashing - at the sink in the kitchen. - You'll be all wet again!
Thoughts went in the right direction without any direction there. Pessimism, comrade mother. The child keeps himself occupied while you are here unpacking boxes, and you also appear! Really, let him do his own thing. And if he gets wet, it won’t be all of him, but only his sleeves and stomach. Let's change and dry. And so - 20 minutes of time to put everything out of the boxes, without fear that Daniel will put it all back again :)
Monday
For the second night in a row, before going to bed, Daniel stands in bed like a toy soldier and yells. I calm him down, but at least he cares! How tired I am of all this! What exactly? Only that Daniel does not want to fall asleep in his crib in a separate room. He can be understood. If I were now forcibly torn away from my bed and placed in another room, albeit with a stunning view from the window, I would be upset too. Moreover, the window is closed at night. And I didn’t have time to get tired of everything else. We just moved the day before yesterday :)
The next morning I woke up on my own, sleepy and cheerful. For the first time in the last two years, the children slept all night without waking up!!! Keep it up, stalwart tin soldier!
I've been trying to get Daniel to sleep after lunch for two hours. The results are still the same as in the evening. It's 15.30. He should have gotten up by now, but he still hadn’t fallen asleep. I'm tired of sorting through boxes and thinking about how to keep this living space in order? My husband is sleeping after a night shift. Daniel jumps between us, happy to be back in his parents' bed. I close my eyes and think how bad things are for me. And to be more specific? The question pops up by itself. Daniel can’t fit in, there’s no Internet, the TV doesn’t work, the phone doesn’t work either, I can’t write, I can’t check my email, I’m also not able to order the missing furniture. Look like that's it. While she was listing, Daniel snuggled up to his dad and fell asleep :) How good! Well, now let's get to work!
My conclusions about the fight against pessimism:
- Most of my pessimistic thoughts came to me in the afternoon or evening, when I was tired. As soon as I managed to rest, the pessimism disappeared.
- Most of my pessimistic forecasts did not come true. If I said something like “nothing good will come of this” or “Daniel, you're going to fall off your chair,” it ended up being the opposite. Everyone remained alive and well.
- You can and should fight pessimistic thoughts. Pessimism has nothing to respond to worthy counter-arguments, and he raises his hands and leaves :)
Successful fight against pessimism!
Your Masha
Guard: here you can order and purchase signs in Moscow.
Question to a psychologist
I often, even every day, feel depressed. I myself am a pessimist. I also want, like others, not to think about bad things, to laugh, to have fun, but it doesn’t work. my pessimism is killing me. There are moments when I can’t think about bad things, but then bad thoughts come over me again. I really want to be optimistic, but I just can’t. I can laugh, but after that I fall into deep depression again, as always. I am very afraid of the future, that I won’t succeed. what should I do? I want to be optimistic
Hello Daria, do you want to be an optimist and are asking how to become one?
First, you need to better know what qualities are inherent in optimism; you can find it all on the Internet. Then, you should develop these qualities in yourself by repeating them every time until they no longer become your habits.
Your despondency and negative thoughts have also become a habit, which is why you quickly fall into them. You should still make an effort so that your habits that prevent you from becoming an optimist finally recede into the background and allow new positive habits in behavior, in words, in appearance to come first.
This can be compared to working out in the gym. If you go there from time to time, without some kind of consistency, then you will hardly be able to build up muscles. Even if this works out, over time they will return to their original state due to the lack of constant action. Likewise, you need to constantly develop positive habits in yourself, only then can you completely get rid of your sad thoughts. Everything that is trained, develops. Persistence, work, desire and patience will help you with this. Best wishes.
Bekezhanova Botagoz Iskrakyzy, psychologist of Astana
Good answer 7 Bad answer 1Optimism is the habit of thinking and focusing on the good. ONLY YOU control your thoughts, so don’t say I CAN’T, tell me honestly, I don’t want to and I won’t, because at first you need to make an effort! Then IT becomes a habit. Lack of confidence in your strength is one of the signs of negative thinking, start working on managing your thoughts, start believing in your strength and everything will work out!
Dushkova Olga Nikolaevna, psychologist Syktyvkar
Good answer 4 Bad answer 1Hello, Daria.
Much of pessimism comes from uncertainty and self-flagellation. Most likely, you doubt your capabilities, you think that you will not be able to cope with the problem. You doom yourself to losing in advance and justify it in advance: “Well, I knew that everything would work out this way! Why bother.” It’s easy to hide behind pessimism and explain away your doing nothing. I think that you are angry with yourself, but you can’t help it, because you’re sitting in a warm and cozy swamp and don’t want to get out. If you call yourself an optimist, then you need to fight, first of all, with yourself: with your laziness, uncertainty, and comfortable existence. An optimist believes in himself and his capabilities. You, Daria, need to “roll up your sleeves” and work day and night. It's time to get out of the warm swamp.
Reshetnyak Galina, psychologist Taldykorgan
Good answer 2 Bad answer 0