Yana, good afternoon!
My letter is based on this letter, which was from a girl with strong sensitivity to sounds, light and smells.
Noise has always bothered me quite a lot - it is very difficult for me to concentrate when there is noise nearby, especially “meaningful” noise interferes - conversations or when someone is talking on the phone, chatter on a talk show on TV, songs in Russian. I also can’t sleep when it’s noisy, and I wake up if there are any loud noises. I don't like "background" noise, I don't have a TV, I only turn on the radio or music when I want to listen to the radio or music, otherwise I prefer to spend time in silence (I live alone). This is the preface.
Several years ago, after I graduated from college, my parents bought me an apartment in a newly built building. We did some renovations and I moved there. And quite quickly it became clear that the house was built from shit and cardboard - you could literally hear EVERYTHING that was going on with the neighbors (later I talked with construction specialists who knew how this house was built, and they told me that the internal ceilings in the house were made using very cheap and, as a result, very poor technology.) From time to time the noise from the neighbors was disturbing, but it was tolerable. Until a few months ago when new neighbors moved into the apartment above me, and then my life simply turned into hell.
No, it wasn’t some drug addicts and alcoholics with nightly brawls, or music lovers with loud music who settled there. An ordinary family with a child - the child is not a baby, just small. But they make noise continuously. They talk loudly - so that you can almost make out the words, the child rushes around the apartment with a loud stomp and deafening screams, and throws toys on the floor, they always have something falling, furniture moves, they quite often gather in groups with friends and children, and then the children run around and shout in a crowd. All this continues until late in the evening. It is impossible to spend a quiet evening at home after work. After this situation happened several times - I go to bed, fall asleep, something falls with a crash at the neighbors’ place, I wake up, somehow fall asleep again, a child rushes from above with screams and stomping, I wake up again, and after that I can’t fall asleep half the night - I just stopped sleeping normally. I’ve already failed an important exam twice because I didn’t get enough sleep the night before because of the noise and I could barely think straight, and I can barely work because I don’t get enough sleep all the time. I just hate these creatures already.
That is, my cuckoo has not yet completely moved, and I understand that people are not making noise on purpose to ruin my life, they just live like this - loudly, and it is such an unfortunate coincidence that the house is so poorly built. But that doesn't help with the fact that my quality of life has deteriorated greatly because of it.
I talked to my neighbors about the noise and received responses: “Achotakova?” and “we have the right until 11 pm.” Well, yes, they really do. When they were making noise at three o’clock in the morning, I wrote a statement to the local police officer, it seems that he talked to them, although I don’t know for sure - but I don’t even know if they were even given a fine. At some point, I freaked out, took out a loan, and soundproofed the ceiling in the room. But this didn’t really help, it muffled the conversations a little, but did nothing about the stomping and rumble, plus in the rest of the apartment the noise was not muffled by anything, and it also came into the room.
I can't concentrate on anything when I'm at home, I can't read or study anything, because I sit all tense, waiting for the noise to start (even when it's quiet), and when the noise comes, I'm filled with hatred , and I think: “May you die, you creatures!” Going to bed is now a difficult problem - plug your ears with earplugs (and earplugs are uncomfortable, and some even hurt to sleep with, I’ve already tried a lot of them), turn on “white noise” to somehow muffle the sounds from the neighbors, and then I’ll spend another hour or two I’ll just lie there, unable to sleep.
I myself understand that this is a bad situation. I was even thinking about selling this apartment and buying another one. In general, if the situation is absolutely extreme, then why not. But there are many problems here. Buying an apartment in a newly built house means getting a “bare” concrete box without everything, and another million or at least half a million will need to be invested in repairs, and for the next five years all the neighbors will be doing repairs in such a house, with all the hammers and drills due, and you can also forget about silence. If you buy a second-hand house, you will still have to renovate it; you don’t want to live in someone else’s house. Buy a house with no neighbors at all, neither above, nor below, nor on the side - but it is very expensive, the money from the sale of the apartment will not be enough to buy a house. And with all this, it’s a pity to sell your apartment, you look back at all this lovingly selected tiles, the lamps that I have been looking for for so long, at all sorts of dear little things - and it’s a pity to throw it all away to the point of tears. In addition, there is another moment. I believe that in a situation like mine, when you have trouble thinking due to stress and emotions, it is better not to take on such serious things and transactions - it’s easy to run into scammers, not to pay attention to some important point, to do something stupid is dangerous, All in all.
On the other hand, I also understand that someone else could simply not pay any attention to this noise from neighbors, which is such a big problem for me, and live peacefully and sleep peacefully. I read your posts with envy, Yana, when you write that your cats jump at night, and you hear everything, but at the same time it does not interfere with your sleep. Well, let’s say, if my cat got mad at night, it would bother me, but when he runs around like a heffalump during the day, it doesn’t cause me any irritation, because it’s “my” noise - and not the noise from strangers that I have to listen to forced because there is nowhere to go.
In your response to the letter I mentioned at the beginning, you write that you can “teach” the brain “not to hear” certain noises. That you can learn this if you consciously do it. I think that this would be generally useful for me - it’s not always quiet at work, and sometimes you have to sleep on planes, trains or hostels, where the silence is far from ideal; in general, there are many situations where such a skill could be useful . But I live in the province. We have never even heard of any neurofeedback schools here, there are no good psychotherapists, and I don’t even have money for classes with a psychotherapist on Skype. I still can’t even imagine how to approach solving this problem on my own.
I would really like you to tell me your view on this situation, and maybe suggest something, because you, Yana, always have a very sensible view of things. Sorry that the letter turned out to be so long.
Best regards, N.
Hello!
Yes, I am, of course, in favor of learning to live next to noise and not suffer from it. Especially considering the noise that surrounds you, this is a fact, but it is quite harmless. Those. Yes, small children can really gallop like elephants. But a small child, as you yourself said, is not a crowd of drug addicts. And they will meet you everywhere. It is very difficult to live if every sound bothers you. Somewhere there will be children, and somewhere there will be a tram under the window, a city, a road, an old house with sounds. You can't save enough earplugs and nerves.
Accordingly, yes, we need to somehow wean ourselves from hearing this.
The most important thing is that I know for sure that this is possible!!!
I'm not a neurologist, I don't know how to do this consciously. But I know that the body has such a mechanism, and in many situations it turns on very well.
For example, among others, tram rails run parallel to our house, and a tram passes in both directions every 10 minutes. I don’t really hear it, but my mom has these rails right under her window. She hasn’t heard any of this for a long time, even in the summer, when she sleeps with the door to the balcony open.
I also know people who live very close to the airport, and have long stopped hearing planes flying past their windows. And the people living near the station cannot hear the trains. Do you remember how many times I wrote tragic articles about how people “sniff” something? And they don’t feel, for example, that their house smells of cats, or mice, or some kind of rotten stuff. Or that they themselves smell. And you have to leave home for a very long time so that your sense of smell is renewed,” and you begin to feel that smell again.
I once read an explanation for this phenomenon. Allegedly, we are accustomed to reacting to what is wired into us by nature as “danger”. For example, it smells rotten, this is an important signal, because rotten things can cause poisoning. And when the brain registers that there is a constant smell of this particular rotten meat, but no one is being poisoned, it turns off the reaction to this “dangerous signal” so as not to get nervous again.
It seems to me that the solution to your problem is somewhere in this. You yourself wrote that if your cats were running, it would be “your” noise, and you would react to it differently. Accordingly, here’s a task for you: try to teach your brain that neighbors are also “their” noise.
In fact, I don’t react to the usual stomping of cats, because I’m used to the fact that nothing bad follows it. They run approximately the same routes, and after a certain number of laps they calm down. And I know that this happens every time, after which everyone falls asleep. So nothing in me pays attention to it.
What I mean is that if my cats suddenly make some unusual sound, I really wake up!!! Moreover, I wake up and jump up, even if the sound is quite quiet, sometimes it’s just a rustle or something like that. But this is unfamiliar - it is not clear what is falling there, and on whom, and where. Therefore, anxiety turns on. But I don’t notice the usual. Those. The secret here is to somehow persuade your brain not to pay attention to sounds that you already know everything about.
In general, I read all sorts of books about the work of the brain, and they often say that the brain (oh, miracle!) fully understands human language! This means that some things can literally be said to him! And he will understand! In exactly the same words as we speak, he will understand. There are only some minor nuances. For example, that the brain supposedly does not perceive the word “not”. Therefore, the brain does not need to say “just not to get sick”; this can be understood exactly the opposite. But you have to tell him “I’m afraid of getting sick” or “I really want to be healthy”, something like that. And in general, appeals to the brain need to be formulated briefly, simply and unambiguously. Taking into account the fact that he is a very lazy bastard, and is stupid at every occasion, out of laziness.
However, you can try to talk to him! Reassure him (and yourself). Tell him, “These are not dangerous sounds. This is all falling in someone else’s apartment. This is all happening outside my house. This is all safe for me. I am safe in my apartment, I feel comfortable and good here!”
You can even convince yourself that your favorite apartment is your fortress, and in general is the best remedy for fear. You yourself wrote how much you love her, how you lovingly selected everything for her. So remind yourself how good it is for you here. Tell yourself something about your apartment - that the walls help at home. That at home you are brave and calm. (Only without the “not”, do you remember?) :-))
Honestly, I would literally try to convince myself with words at home that you feel good there, there is no danger, and there is nothing to be nervous about.
Moreover, try to say something positive about the noises you hear. There's only a child up there! It’s really a joy to not be a drunk, not a crazy person, or a bunch of drug addicts. And the child, so alive, is cheerful. That means healthy. Soon he will grow up and will jump less. By the way, if you forget about everything, you won’t even notice how 10 years will pass in this apartment. And if you and your neighbors live amicably, maybe they will live happily above you for another hundred years. And they will not be replaced by something much more terrible. And there are not thieves, not bandits, but just some young parents. In short, tell your head all the best about what you hear. And - that it does not pose any danger.
Because we pay attention to something precisely because of this. Because our body sees some kind of danger in this and worries.
You can also try to work with your anxiety globally. Psychotherapists say that if you dig out the cause of some kind of injury, it is often cured by a large percentage! And they write about this hypersensitivity to sounds that most often the reason is generally banal - once in childhood they were scared by very loud sounds. Something suddenly thundered nearby, they slammed a firecracker, and they screamed in my ear. The man got scared and was injured. Or maybe someone angry was yelling and making noise. when did you threaten to punish? Or did some sounds, maybe not even very loud ones, precede some kind of traumatic event? For example, this is how the neighbors are jumping behind the wall - something thundered dully behind your wall, and then you found out that someone had fallen, gotten hurt, or maybe even died? Or maybe someone once scared (or intimidated) you with some kind of horror that creeps up, and at first you can only hear it?
Or vice versa - maybe, for example, they bullied you at school, sneaked up behind you, and did something bad to you. Could you not have heard about the approaching danger in advance, because there was noise all around? And now you listen personally to every rustle?
Try to delve into your memory - maybe you will find some such events in the past? If it works, then the rest is easy. You have logical thinking. (And fears are very well treated with logic.) You can talk to yourself about the fact that now no one is sneaking up on you anymore. And no one offends you, and no one yells at you, and makes noise, and does not go from knocking on the table to throwing furniture and people. Or whatever scared you - it is no longer dangerous to you, or it is no longer in your life at all. Maybe this will help?
And it’s also good when you’re not sitting in complete silence. And there is no need to drown out something with “white noise”. Include something interesting. There is a trick - there are many activities that can be combined with listening to audiobooks or watching TV series. At the same time, you often don’t have to watch TV series, because you quickly figure out who is who, and then it’s enough to listen to the dialogues. But you need to find something that you like and is interested in. For example, where you like the dialogues. And turn on this series or book - not very loudly. Don't try to out-shout your neighbors. And make it so that it was audible, but you had to listen with some effort to what was happening there. Then “all your ears will go there,” i.e. there won't be enough attention for the rest.
In the evening, when everything gets quieter, you need to turn everything you have on down. (Most people instinctively do this anyway, because the general background is reduced, and the person himself does not want to disturb anyone, and loud sounds seem even louder to him.) So, by nightfall, maybe this something will be playing very quietly. . And many sleep experts have been writing lately that there is no shame in falling asleep to this at all. If you feel better with such a “bump” under your ear.
Sometimes, by the way, sounds can be “drowned out” not only by sounds. For example, some people hear better in the dark. (Because there are no other irritants.) Try leaving some dim lamp on that doesn’t particularly disturb your sleep. Maybe thanks to it, audibility will decrease (because there are other experiences that occupy brain reserves). Or maybe (again) you find that everything is somehow very scary for you in complete darkness. So sleep in partial darkness until the nervous system calms down and learns to sleep soundly and soundly.
I don’t have any more ideas yet on how to calm my agitated brain and distract it from what it hears too closely. It would be very nice if these thoughts of mine somehow helped you. And it would be even better if readers had more tips!
And if you somehow cope with this problem, would you share it with us? Because I think that you are not alone, and there are many who would like to stop hearing the world around them so much.
Exercise 1:
Imagine what will happen if you don't read the right book. Imagine the picture in negative colors. Now imagine what will happen after you read the book. How the world will become a better place.
Exercise 2:
Clear your brain of garbage. Enter into a state of not thinking anything.
How not to be distracted when reading - dealing with noise
Reading productivity is greatly affected by external noise. External noise, both single and continuous, has a very large negative impact on reading productivity. We are talking not just about lowering the level of attention when reading, as was above, but about switching attention from the text to another object.
Very often, external noises distract from reading: they irritate or, on the contrary, captivate you to such an extent that the book is sometimes put aside. We are especially happy to switch our attention from the book (and are ready to do this at the slightest opportunity) if we do not like the material we are working on. Constantly being distracted by external noises, the reader gets used to working with relaxed attention and cultivates inattention.
External noise factor and its impact on text memorization
The factor of external noise while working with a book is objective (after all, we cannot change, for example, the noise conditions in the reading room), but also subjective at the same time: You can change yourself by learning not to react to noise as an obstacle when reading. In order to “not listen to noises,” you need to learn not to evaluate the noises that you hear, not to process them.
If you are distracted from reading by noise behind the wall, you can no longer concentrate and put the book down. Try turning on the TV, and it will distract you from the recently disturbing noises; your irritation will be replaced by a pleasant state. You will forget about the noise that annoyed you, take your mind off it and, even turning off the TV, you will not pay attention to the noise for some time, although it will continue. You can hear the noise, but not listen to it. Thus, the unpleasant was replaced by the pleasant. A temporary shift in attention protected you from the effects of noise.
How to turn off external stimuli when reading books
One of the ways to tune out extraneous noise and learn not to react to it while reading is the tennis ball method, developed at the School of Rational Reading.
This method is based on the principle of double switching of attention. The tennis ball method, as practice shows, is universal: almost everyone who has used it learns to be distracted from external noises and stops listening to them. If the reader, using the tennis ball method, has trained himself to the point of automatism, then the fight against noise will be carried out on a subconscious level, without distracting the consciousness from understanding the content of the text being read. For such a reader, 1-3 seconds are enough to get rid of annoying noise while reading. After this, all attention is again focused on reading.
Quick reading. How to avoid distractions when reading
To get a better understanding of speed reading techniques, enroll in an in-person course, however, you can learn to speed read on your own.
Improve your reading technique and you'll spend less time researching documents. Follow the tips and you will increase your productivity.
Reading types
- Super slow reading. A detailed study of the document is pursued - for example, the study of legal documents.
- Slow reading - for example, a work of fiction.
- Pre-reading. When you need to get an idea of the document you read
- Speed reading.
How to scribble text in speed reading mode
By acting in accordance with this scheme, you will reduce the time it takes to find the necessary information.
- Read the introduction carefully.
- Look through chapters five to ten that interest you. Pay attention to examples and highlighting in the text.
- Review the passages of text that you find important.
- Read the index. Understand the thesaurus and concepts covered in the book. Think about how similar the content of the book is to the content of previously studied documents
- Write a review on the text or a letter to the author.
- Read the author's examples. How many examples are repeated? Does it seem that the author of the text borrowed the content of the document?
- Review the introduction to each chapter, read the last page of each chapter.
- Read the table of contents. Have a general idea of the book's content before reading it.
If you are studying a reference text, you need to study selected passages. Therefore, the reading strategy described is very useful.
How to read documents and articles
First, you should look at the places in the text where conclusions are indicated. And, then, read the document. In this case, the essence of the article will be clear from the first paragraph.
- Study the presentation of the text, the overview, the first few paragraphs, the introductory part.
- Study the conclusion or the final few paragraphs.
- Study carefully the places that seemed most important to you.
Scanning reading. Using the subconscious while reading.
When a person reads quickly, he understands phrases rather than individual words.
Use a diagonal eye movement to scan the page. As soon as you feel that you have found something interesting, then move on to regular reading.
Notes in the margins.
Take notes as you read. Write down questions for the author of the text. You don't waste time. Thanks to notes and formulated questions, the studied text is fixed in the mind. If the document and new information are thought out, then there is no need to return to it.
While reading a book, mark important places with a marker and underline key words.
Look for Alternatives to Reading
"TENNIS BALL" method
One of the most common obstacles to deep reading is external noise. The conversation of neighbors in the reading room, the crying of a child on the train, the sound of a TV working behind the wall prevents you from deeply immersing yourself in the meaning of what you are reading, especially if you have to read something necessary, but not very interesting. As a rule, attempts not to pay attention to external noise are not only unsuccessful, but, on the contrary, lead to the fact that after a long struggle with the noise, the reader begins to analyze what he hears, distracted from reading. (“They talk about illnesses all the time, as if there is nothing else to talk about!”, “Why don’t parents pay attention to a crying child!”, etc.). Gradually, the reader’s irritation grows, and he already has to cope with his own condition.
There is an effective way to combat such reading interference - the “tennis ball” method.
The “tennis ball” method is based on the use of certain processes occurring in the human brain.
You can imagine the human brain in the form of a platform on which fires are burning - centers of excitement caused by the analysis of various information simultaneously entering the brain: the reader comprehends the content of a paragraph - this is a large fire (most of the attention is paid to comprehension), in the room where reading takes place, hot - this is a second fire, but small, because so little attention is paid to the perception of this that the reader almost does not feel the increased temperature. As lunch time approaches, another fire appears and flares up more and more, associated with a feeling of hunger, etc. Such small fires (small parts of attention) light up from all the sensations and thoughts associated with clothing, shoes, comfort of posture, lighting, physical or mental fatigue, etc. The size of the fires-foci of attention is regulated at a subconscious level, so the reader, despite all his the desire to concentrate nevertheless switches attention to noise, distracting from reading. So, at the moment, the main attention switches from comprehending the text to noise as the main source of excitation of the brain. In this case, the following conditions are met:
- The more active the thought processes are, the greater the total sum of parts of attention devoted to the simultaneous analysis of all stimuli (external and internal), i.e. the greater the number of fires.
- An increase in attention to some stimuli is accompanied by a decrease in attention to others (some flaring fires take away the energy and fire of others, reducing them).
- That part of attention grows (that fire flares up) that is directed to the event that is relevant at the moment. For example, if while reading you remember that there is now a program on TV that you definitely wanted to watch, then the success of further reading will depend on what you consider more important (relevant) at the moment.
Consequently, if on an area with a large fire (caused by comprehension of what is being read), a small fire appears (corresponding in magnitude to the irritation due to disturbing noise, and this fire is not extinguished, then perhaps it will flare up, absorbing energy from the large fire, and even can put out a large fire.To prevent this from happening, the “tennis ball” method is used.
The essence of the method is as follows: having caught himself involuntarily beginning to listen to an external stimulus, the reader mentally:
- He puts a spacesuit on his head;
- Imagines an audible noise in the form of tennis balls flying from noise sources;
- He imagines the rebound of balls hitting the spacesuit and hears the clicking sound of the impacts.
All this must be done while reading, without ceasing to comprehend the content of the text. As a result, part of the attention gradually switches from the external stimulus (noise) to the tennis balls, and then to comprehending what is being read, i.e. a double switch of attention occurs. As soon as you start training, guided by this method, in the very first stages of work you will feel positive changes.
The “tennis ball” method (TBM) works as follows: with the appearance of a small but dangerous fire (i.e., as soon as distraction from reading by external noise begins), the reader artificially creates a new and sufficiently large fire caused by tennis balls bouncing off the spacesuit ( i.e., significant attention begins to be paid to the suggestion of the idea of a spacesuit and the balls bouncing off it, as well as the suggestion that the reader hears the sound of their clicking). As a result of the relevance of this process at the moment, a new fire begins to grow by pumping energy from other fires. This leads to a decrease and then attenuation of the fire, corresponding to the external noise.
And at the same time the fire will decrease, corresponding to the comprehension of what is being read, which is undesirable, but forced. After adjusting the strength of the fires for some time, the reader consciously focuses attention on the reading process (i.e., begins to fan the fire, corresponding to the assimilation of what is being read, at the expense of the fire, corresponding to the ideas of the spacesuit and the ball). Thus, after some time, attention shifts more and more to understanding what is being read and less and less remains on tennis balls and, especially, on external noise.
Thus, although the regulation of foci of excitation occurs in the brain at the subconscious level, through training, by practicing certain exercises, you can achieve a switching of the main attention to the object you need.
The tennis ball method allows you to:
- Switch attention from the main stimulus to the worked-out ideas until the comprehension of the stimulus stops.
- Transfer the attention concentrated on these ideas to the main work:
To use MTS, you must first develop the ability to quickly and easily call:
- Feeling of a spacesuit around the head;
- Representation of tennis balls flying towards the spacesuit from a noise source;
- Representation of balls hitting and bouncing off a spacesuit;
- Perception of the sound of balls hitting the spacesuit.
This can be learned step by step as follows:
Stage I
Learn to quickly create and sustainably maintain the sensation of a spacesuit around your head by repeatedly imagining the spacesuit in your mind. A spacesuit or shell can be of any color, size and shape, choose what you like best, but there are two essential conditions: it must be transparent and light.
Stage II
Learn to imagine tennis balls flying from a noise source and dissolving in your head. The balls should be light, of any color and small in size. They must fly slowly. As soon as one ball reaches the head and dissolves in it, another ball immediately flies out from the noise source. (For example, if readers at the next table are disturbing you with their conversations, then you need to imagine balls flying out of the place where these people are sitting). Where and how exactly these balls are born does not matter. The balls should fly out regardless of the volume of the noise and its frequency (for example, if the creaking of a door bothers you, then as soon as the next one is heard, you immediately imagine a ball flying from the door. After the ball dissolves in your head, you imagine the next ball flying from the same place, regardless of whether the door continues to creak at the moment or not).
Stage III
Combine the two previous ideas and add auditory sensations. you need to imagine a spacesuit and balls flying out from a noise source, reaching the spacesuit and bouncing off it, and at the same time hear a clear clicking sound from the imaginary impact of the ball on the spacesuit. Next, follow the bounced ball until it disappears into infinity and also imagine the flight of the next ball, etc.
You can not make the first balls bounce, but pass them through the spacesuit and, only starting, for example, from the fifth, imagine them bouncing.
The first and second stages can be mastered alternately within two weeks. And only after you learn to clearly imagine the spacesuit and the balls separately, you can start combining them and train for another two weeks.
There are, of course, readers who can work fruitfully even in any noise. Some of them even believe that it is better to read while listening to music or with the radio or TV on.
Experts, based on experimental data, believe that everyone should work in the conditions to which they are accustomed. But still, in order to achieve the greatest productivity of mental work, they advise creating silence, but not absolute, but relative. A slight hum, the rustling of pages in the reading room (of course, in the absence of chatter at the next table) contributes to the best assimilation of the text. It has been shown that it is more difficult to maintain attention in complete silence than in weak monotonous noise.
The ability to isolate attention from external noise may become another requirement for improving your reading culture.
Oh, those noisy neighbors knocking on the wall on a Sunday morning. And the loud music, and the screams... Well, don’t drink valerian every day because of this! How to stop being nervous about noisy neighbors? System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan gives precise advice on how not to freak out.
It's all due to low stress resistance
The main reason for worrying about noisy neighbors and generally for the slightest reason is low stress resistance. Online healers and psychologists offer to stop worrying and increase it with the help of a variety of practices, meditations and drugs to strengthen the nervous system. All this only affects the consequences of the problem.
The psyche, constantly loaded with containing internal pain and dissatisfaction, loses stability. The safety margin is not enough to cope with even a little stress. All it takes is a little pressure—a sudden noise—and the calm disappears. Life seems unbearable even because of noisy neighbors.
Are you tormented by fears? Having trouble calming down before an exam? At work, do you have a hard time keeping from shouting? And you can’t relax at home because of noisy neighbors? This is a signal from the psyche about internal problems. About the fact that natural talents are not fully used, and desires are not realized.
How to stop being nervous about noisy neighbors and feel the joy of life
Man is born for happiness. He wants to enjoy life every minute and stop worrying about noisy neighbors. To achieve pleasure, man is given desires. As well as the properties of the psyche and body necessary for the successful implementation of these desires. The more often a person experiences pleasure, the more stable the psyche and the higher the resistance to stress.There are simple pleasures (for example, food), but the pleasure from them is fleeting. But finished work, mental or physical, brings deeper and lasting satisfaction and helps you become calm.
As Yuria Burlan explains at the “System-Vector Psychology” training, owners of different vectors will be helped by various ways to distract themselves and stop worrying about noisy neighbors. This will not increase stress resistance for a long time, but it will be the first step, giving a temporary respite to collect your thoughts.
Step One: Stop Being Nervous and Worrying
For an organized and flexible person with a skin vector, a jog or a dance class would be an excellent stress reliever. Exercising will fill your brain with endorphins and help you spend time with health benefits.Fishing or a family trip to the country will help thorough and serious owners of the anal vector to find balance and no longer be nervous about noisy neighbors. Any craft or caring for indoor plants will do. In general, everything that requires attention and concentration. This is a great chance to pass on your knowledge and experience to children.
Sensitive and thoughtful owners of the sound vector are more likely than others to suffer from noisy neighbors due to the special sensitivity of hearing. Yes, sensitive hearing and concentration on meaning form the basis of the life of a sound artist. A classical music concert is a relaxation for his ears and a sensual pleasure for the boundless universe of his inner world. And at night, earplugs may come in handy.
Step two: increase stress resistance
Any irritation with the world arises due to an incorrect assessment of the situation. We suffer due to a lack of understanding of ourselves and ignorance of our own desires. But even more suffering comes from a total misunderstanding of others and ineffective interaction with them.Can you feel joy for the noisy neighbors upstairs who are celebrating their wedding for the third day? Can! Even if you have to go to work by 7:00. You can also admire the wild play and squeals of children on the playground, remembering yourself at that age. To do this you need very little - to understand yourself. Understand the difference between yourself and others.
Life gives a person thousands of opportunities to become happy. Don't waste it worrying and worrying about noisy neighbors. Awareness of innate properties and desires, the embodiment of which fills life with joy, involuntarily arises during the training “System-vector psychology” by Yuri Burlan. The stable result of the training is the acquisition of stress resistance in any situation, even in real military operations. This is confirmed by the results of people from Donetsk and Lugansk who completed the training:
“...From the results, first of all, I can say that I have become a much more balanced person: if earlier in some situations I could behave ugly and incorrectly, for example, throw a violent, unbridled hysteria or be offended at someone for a long time and sullenly, then Now I respond adequately to all external stimuli. As a result, my relationships with family and friends have improved. I know how to avoid quarrels with them, and in cases where a quarrel does occur, I know how to behave in such a way as not to aggravate the situation, as it usually was, but, on the contrary, to even it out... In general, I can say that I have stopped get on your nerves. In addition, I began to feel much more confident in communicating with people...”
Anastasia M., linguist St. Petersburg
“... Relations with others improved... I began to understand people... And even justify them... My nerves returned to normal... I stopped getting angry for no reason... My relationship with my beloved opened up from a completely different perspective... There are many, many more things that I don’t even remember now...”
Kirill U., Kazan
“... From a hot-tempered person I turned into a calm one, it became more difficult to get me angry, my former irritability disappeared...”
Andrey G., Arkhangelsk
It's easiest not to be nervous in silence
It is a fact! But the world around you is full of movement and is ready to open up before you, bringing joy and satisfaction from the very process of Life. You just have to listen and focus on what is happening around you. And the free online training by Yuri Burlan “System-vector psychology” will tell you what to pay attention to.The article was written using materials from Yuri Burlan’s online training “System-vector psychology”
The ringing of the alarm clock hurts my head, and my morning begins with it. The sound of a hot arrow pierces my head. We need to get up.
Who invented these alarm clocks?
Who came up with the idea that you have to go to work or school in the morning? The climb is difficult. Trying to come to my senses, I go to the kitchen. We need to prepare breakfast. I turn on the coffee grinder and toaster and put on the kettle. The coffee grinder hums, but fortunately not for long, and the toaster fires out.I got rid of the kettle with a whistle a long time ago, although the whistle still had some benefits. All household appliances seem to have been invented in order to harass with their noise; the hum and rumble they make cause irritation and anger.
The city is gradually waking up and the range of sounds coming from the street is becoming wider. A painful day of work lies ahead. The road to work becomes a challenge. The noise of cars passing by, the sharp sounds of horns, the howl of sirens, the sickeningly loud conversations of passers-by. I just want to cover my ears and run away, where there are no sounds that hurt my ears. It seems that there is no hiding from the noise, no escape.
Where are my headphones?
Only in them is salvation from intrusive noises from the outside. In the workplace, noises are of a different nature - the monotonous continuous buzz of the computer, air conditioning systems and many other vague but painful sounds. The ticking of a clock brings particular discomfort to the work environment. But despite everything, the working day ends and evening approaches.Evening is an anticipation of silence. Silence is my salvation, the salvation of my ears and my head, tired during the day. The degree of sound tension gradually subsides, the world around calms down. The desired and much needed calm comes.
Why do loud noises irritate me so much?
Can’t I calmly react and not pay attention to extraneous sounds, like other people?For a long time I tried to understand why exactly I perceive the noise of the world around me so painfully. Why have headphones become a daily necessity?
What is wrong with me?
In an attempt to get rid of the problem, mountains of literature were re-read, but in vain. Consultations with psychologists and following their advice did not bring any results. There is a lot of advice, but no solution to the problem or real help.Trying to get used to it, listening to calm music, remembering something from childhood, changing the environment, reading mantras, calming down - I couldn’t.
My every day was like sound hell until the moment I became acquainted with the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan.
Hidden in the unconscious
According to system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan, people who experience severe discomfort and irritation from background sounds, and who have increased sensitivity to sounds, are the owners of a sound vector.
The sound vector gives its owner special mental properties. By nature, they are endowed with perfect hearing and are very sensitive to any noise. Sound people are given by nature the ability to the highest degree of concentration and abstract intelligence, capable of giving birth to new ideas, cognizing the hidden.
In silence it is easier for them to concentrate, but for a person with realized properties of the sound vector, noise is by no means a hindrance. All brilliant composers are carriers of the sound vector.
But with incomplete implementation, the sound vector manifests itself negatively, including painful hearing. Often these are unconscious consequences of childhood psychotrauma and psychosexual developmental delays.
“Silence mode” is necessary from birth; it is the key to the successful development of a child with a sound vector. Loud screams, especially the scream of a mother, have a traumatic effect on the psyche of any baby. And the hypersensitive hearing of the sound player causes unbearable pain. Sounds from outside become a constant source of suffering. It is from this pain that they hide behind their headphones.
It is possible to get out of negative states by realizing your nature with the help of systematic thinking. Nature entrusts the sound engineer with the global task of realizing the hidden. Realizing his innate properties, a person with a sound vector is included in a completely different relationship with the world around him, along with all its noise.
You can understand why this happens, find the reasons for your reactions to the world around you and, finally, get rid of discomfort at the introductory free online lectures on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. Register and enjoy the sounds of the world around you.
The article was written using materials
Noisy neighbors are the bane of families, especially in city apartments. A misfortune equivalent to the notorious “roads and fools.” Let us note that the quality of roads in the country is improving, reducing the statistics of road accidents, but the question of how to stop being nervous about noisy neighbors is growing.
And what can we tell each other about here? About the obviously sad Friday evening, when you fall asleep anxiously, as if before an exam. Or about Saturday morning, on which we may be awakened by the gentle singing of a neighbor's drill. Another dream of getting enough sleep has collapsed! Tell me about the night when whitewash is falling from the ceiling, heavy metal is rumbling in your head and you can only fall asleep at dawn. The parents of cute, two-meter-tall teenagers went to the country. It's better to drill in the morning...
One can recall noisy neighbors who make scandals at various times and days of the week, notifying about the time and place of the next adultery and betrayal. You can listen to it once. But the drunken voices screaming behind the wall for years... are unbearable!
"Noisy neighbors? Don't worry or be nervous"
Friends and relatives tell you. “What are you really saying?!” Well, go and say what you think! Scare them with police or fines! Get together as a team, write a letter... You just need to stop being nervous! Yes, grab this boy and twist his ears! At work, it happens that you have one worry after another, and you want to at least calm down at home! Where else if not at home to strengthen the nervous system?!”
The neighbors are noisy...
You may be able to stop worrying if you turn on the drill at half past twelve in the morning to hang a shelf. Or should I turn on Alfred Schnittke or the late Paganini loudly at night and go for a walk for an hour in a snowstorm?! Noooo. For some reason, advice from a friend or psychologist doesn’t help either. Do you know any other ways? Have you tried it? And as a result? That's it - noisy neighbors!... probably this can't be cured?
How to stop being nervous about noisy neighbors?! Saw, Shura, cut!!!
It is possible to stop being nervous about noisy neighbors. System-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan will help you learn this. According to it, people are born with certain groups of mental properties - vectors.
As Yuri Burlan’s Systemic Vector Psychology says, understanding what lies behind the desires and properties of a particular person, one can quite easily say a lot about him. For example, to determine his type of thinking, purpose and meaning of life, and even sexuality. By reading a person like an open book, you can interact with him in such a way that it is comfortable, first of all, for ourselves.
For example, you see in front of you a person with an anal vector. This is essentially the owner of the family: he has golden hands, he does everything in the house himself. Yes, it’s slow, the repairs take years, but they’re done with high quality and forever. Perfectionist. Meticulous and reasonable. Family, home are sacred. The meanings of life are also the value of the past, helping comrades, respect and honor. Mom is the most important person in life. By the way, he is most likely an avid fisherman. And as a child, he probably collected stamps, badges or postcards.
It is precisely in these keys that it is worth negotiating with him. Shake hands as a sign of respect. Say that your MOM (or children) are sick now and need silence. He will understand and stop drilling. If, when you meet, you start talking about fishing, raise the topic of returning old textbooks to children’s schools, or the importance of the quality of work and experience, then you will become friends. For a person with an anal vector, fulfilling any request of a friend, a good neighbor (for example, agreeing on what hours to make noise) is not a question!
Noisy neighbors will drive me crazy
There are people for whom silence is vital. Loud sounds increase hostility towards the world around us. The activity of the subcortex, already exhausted by endless thoughts, is aroused, concentration is disrupted and the person is ready to even jump into a noose or jump off the roof, if only the hubbub of noisy neighbors would stop. These are people with a sound vector. They suffer the most and at the same time remain silent, experiencing semantic storms inside.
For the visual vector, which is emotionally excitable, sometimes at the slightest provocation, noisy neighbors can cause panic attacks. The fear of death is their root fear, from which numerous phobias grow. For them, going crazy, swinging emotionally, is like breathing. If one of the children in your family is endowed with these characteristics, do not be surprised that they experience everyday problems that seem to be common for others much more acutely. Help them stop worrying, it is truly vital for them.
How to negotiate with noisy neighbors
Let's remember our standard “crusade” to negotiate.
Firstly, we are no longer just on edge, but practically boiling. We persuade ourselves not to be nervous, but we ourselves are ready to scream and yell from the accumulated anger of many hours or even many days.
Secondly, trying to restrain overflowing emotions, we obviously find ourselves in pretensions and grievances, stumble over our words and get confused in the meaning of our own speech. By this we introduce the interlocutor into retaliatory aggression. It will not be possible to negotiate with a positive result.
Therefore, the first rule is that you don’t have to wait and be patient. Give yourself the task of becoming calm before such a conversation. Second, try to find out who exactly lives above you (to the side) and why they regularly violate public order. Third, we need to determine systematically - who exactly is in front of us, what vector? Who will you negotiate with? For example, if this is a leather worker, it is necessary to talk in the sense of benefit and law and order.