Good manners– one of the most important indicators of a well-mannered, cultured person. From early childhood, we are instilled with certain behavior patterns. A cultured person must constantly follow the norms of behavior established in society – observe etiquette.Knowledge and compliance with etiquette standards allows you to feel confident and free in any society.
The word "etiquette" came into the Russian language from French in the 18th century, when the court life of an absolute monarchy was taking shape and broad political and cultural ties between Russia and other states were established.
Etiquette (French) etiquette) – a set of rules of conduct and treatment accepted in certain social circles (at the courts of monarchs, in diplomatic circles, etc.). Typically, etiquette reflects the form of behavior, treatment, and rules of courtesy accepted in a given society, inherent in a particular tradition. Etiquette can act as an indicator of the values of different historical eras.
At an early age, when parents teach their child to say hello, say thank you, and ask for forgiveness for pranks, learning occurs. basic formulas of speech etiquette.
– This is a system of rules of speech behavior, norms for the use of language means in certain conditions. Speech communication etiquette plays an important role for a person’s successful activity in society, his personal and professional growth, and the building of strong family and friendly relationships. To master the etiquette of verbal communication, knowledge from various humanitarian fields is required: linguistics, history, cultural studies, psychology. To more successfully master cultural communication skills, they use such a concept as speech etiquette formulas.
In everyday life, we constantly communicate with people. Any communication process consists of certain stages:
- starting a conversation (greeting/introduction);
- main part, conversation;
- the final part of the conversation.
Each stage of communication is accompanied by certain cliches, traditional words and fixed expressions – formulasami speech etiquette. These formulas exist in the language in ready-made form and are provided for all occasions.
To the formulas of speech etiquette words of politeness include (sorry, thank you, please), greetings and farewells (hello, greetings, goodbye), appeals (you, you, ladies and gentlemen). Greetings came to us from the west: good evening, good afternoon, good morning, and from European languages - farewells: all the best, all the best.
The sphere of speech etiquette includes ways of expressing joy, sympathy, grief, guilt, accepted in a given culture. For example, in some countries it is considered indecent to complain about difficulties and problems, while in others it is unacceptable to talk about one’s achievements and successes. The range of conversation topics varies across cultures.
In the narrow sense of the word speech etiquette can be defined as a system of linguistic means in which etiquette relations are manifested. Elements and formulas of this system can be implemented at different language levels:
At the level of vocabulary and phraseology: special words, set expressions, forms of address (thank you, excuse me, hello, comrades, etc.)
At the grammatical level: for polite address, use plurals and interrogative sentences instead of imperatives (You won't tell me how to get there...)
On a stylistic level: maintaining the qualities of good speech (correctness, precision, richness, appropriateness, etc.)
At the intonation level: using calm intonation even when expressing demands, dissatisfaction, or irritation.
At the level of orthoepy: use of full forms of words: з hello instead of hello, please instead of please, etc.
On organizational and communicative level: listen carefully and do not interrupt or interfere in someone else’s conversation.
Speech etiquette formulas are characteristic of both literary and colloquial, and rather reduced (slang) style. The choice of one or another speech etiquette formula depends mainly on the communication situation. Indeed, the conversation and manner of communication can vary significantly depending on: the personality of the interlocutors, the place of communication, the topic of conversation, time, motive and goals.
A place of communication may require participants in a conversation to comply with certain rules of speech etiquette established specifically for the chosen place. Communication at a business meeting, social dinner, or in the theater will differ from behavior at a youth party, in the restroom, etc.
Depends on the participants in the conversation. The personality of the interlocutors primarily influences the form of address: you or you. Form You indicates the informal nature of communication, You – to respect and greater formality in conversation.
Depending on the topic of conversation, time, motive or purpose of communication, we use different conversational techniques.
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“Well”, “there”, “here”, “like”, “in short”, “in general”, “as if”, “that is”, “so to speak”, “uh-uh”, “mm-mm » — found your “favorite” words and sounds? The list goes on. All these elements greatly clog our speech, making it rude, absent-minded and unattractive.
No swearing
Expanding vocabulary
You have probably already noticed the repetition of the same words to express emotions, different feelings and describe events - this indicates a rather meager active vocabulary, that is, one that you constantly and regularly use in communication.
To avoid this and diversify your speech, you need to constantly expand your vocabulary by reading fiction, memorizing poetry, and practicing writing your own poems and essays.
Getting rid of surzhik
Unfortunately, this problem is relevant for a considerable number of residents of Ukraine - the speech culture of many people suffers from the use of elements of surzhik in communication, and for some, their speech consists entirely of this hybrid of Ukrainian and Russian languages. Analogues of surzhik also exist in other countries where people live in a mixed linguistic environment.
Constantly working on your speech, reading books and even dictionaries will help you overcome this obstacle. You can also ask your friends to correct you during a conversation if they notice that you have used the wrong word.
When dealing with verbal garbage, it is important to first determine which words are superfluous in your vocabulary, and then carefully monitor your speech. Record yourself on a voice recorder and analyze what was said. Think about what words can replace unwanted vocabulary, work with dictionaries of synonyms. Start studying speech styles - you must know these features in order to communicate culturally in different situations without contaminating the corresponding vocabulary in any way.
Rules of speech etiquette
Since we all move in society, a high culture of speech is impossible without observing certain rules of communication with other people:
- When you approach someone, you must take into account the gender, age and sometimes social status of that person. What you say to a friend or family member may be inappropriate and even rude to a stranger, an older person, or a higher rank.
- Addressing “you” usually occurs within the family, between friends and good acquaintances. You can also use “you” to address children of primary school age. In other cases, such a transition occurs only with the separate permission and consent of the communication participants; before this, the address “You” is considered acceptable. Although in our time the boundaries of such addresses are blurred, addressing a person on a “you” basis without permission is considered impolite and familiar.
- There should be no place for insults, rudeness and contempt in communication. You need to treat your interlocutor kindly, or at least calmly, neutrally, but in any case, respectfully.
- Learn to listen and show interest in the interlocutor, ask him questions. When communicating with a person, it is ugly to yawn, get bored, or repeat what was said due to your own inattention, without the need to be distracted. In the same way, it is impolite not to allow the interlocutor to speak out himself, to interrupt him or to talk only about himself. It is better to appear modest than to appear overly self-confident and intrusive.
- Watch your facial expressions and gestures. Don't actively gesture unnecessarily or get too close to the other person without their permission, especially in a formal setting.
- If you see an acquaintance on the street, shouting to him and communicating loudly from a distance is blatant lack of culture.
- Try to avoid talking about politics and religion - these topics are quite sensitive and can become a bone of contention even among friends and relatives, not to mention strangers.
Speech etiquette formulas
Speech culture involves the use of well-known speech etiquette formulas. These are a kind of templates, speech clichés that are used in conversation in a certain situation and taking into account the characteristics of national communication. Many of them have been known to us since childhood.
According to speech etiquette, a conversation begins with a greeting, and only then the main part of the conversation takes place. These formulas must be used appropriately and appropriate to the situation.
In the morning we greet our acquaintances by saying: “Good morning,” but in the evening we say: “Good evening,” and not vice versa. We can say “Hello” to a friend, good acquaintance or colleague, but it is unlikely, for example, that a schoolboy would greet his teacher this way.
If the interlocutors do not know each other, then after the greeting an acquaintance should occur. It is customary to use formulas such as: “I would like to introduce myself...”, “Allow me to introduce myself...”, “Let me introduce myself...”, etc.
When the communication is over and the speakers disperse, you must remember to say goodbye to each other. At the end of communication, the following formulas are used: “Goodbye”, “All the best”, “See you soon”, “See you tomorrow”. All of them mean the end of a conversation and farewell, although they have different semantic connotations - a wish, a premonition of a new meeting, or even doubt about it (“Farewell”).
But in the main part of the conversation, we can use politeness formulas depending on the situation and purpose of communication. For example, when you need to ask for something, phrases such as “I have a request for you...”, “I would like to ask you...” are used.
We definitely use “Please”, the same word is a polite formula for responding to gratitude. Be sure to thank the person who fulfilled our request or provided assistance with the formulas “Thank you”, “Thank you”.
When expressing condolences to a person, they say: “Accept my condolences,” “I’m very sorry,” “I grieve with you.”
There are many more similar expressions with a similar structure for many other situations, depending on the purpose, location of the conversation and the status of the participants in the dialogue, which are used to emphasize politeness and respect for the interlocutor.
A high level of speech culture is not just an indicator of an intelligent person, but also a quality that makes it possible to advantageously express oneself in society, at an interview or at work.
It's finished! Your boss has invited you to a dinner party. Finally, you have the opportunity to see many important people there, and perhaps make influential acquaintances. It would seem that you have nothing to worry about - you have long learned in which hand to hold a fork and spoon, how to behave at the table, and in general, you are prepared according to all the rules of etiquette. However, there is one caveat - your speech and ability to conduct small talk may not leave the best impression of you. The thing is that in the Russian language there is also etiquette, only verbal.
Russian speech etiquette is the rules and norms of communication formed under the influence of national culture. Their main principle is politeness and respect for the interlocutor. It is also worth remembering where and how to apply speech etiquette. Different countries have their own rules of polite communication, but if you are not abroad, you must follow the rules of address in Russian speech etiquette.
The main thing is that your speech matches the situation in which communication takes place. Two directions can be decisive when choosing a form of speech. Firstly, the setting - formal or informal. Secondly, it matters to which person your speech is addressed. Here it is worth taking into account his gender, age, the degree of your acquaintance with the interlocutor, his personal merits and social status. It is also worth remembering who to greet first if at a particular meeting you will meet many people with whom you already know. So, who do they greet first:
- the man greets the woman first;
- if a woman is significantly younger than a man in age, then she is obliged to greet him first;
- the same applies to all other cases. If an older and younger person meet, the younger one always greets the older one first;
- the junior in position also greets the senior in position;
- a member of a delegation is always the first to greet its leader;
Formulas of Russian speech etiquette
The peculiarities of Russian speech etiquette lie in certain words, phrases and fixed expressions. They are used in three stages of conversation: at the beginning of the conversation, or introduction, the main part of the conversation and the final part of the conversation. For competent interaction of all three stages, as well as for using the norms and rules of communication, the formulas of Russian speech etiquette are used. Basic formulas, such as a polite greeting or gratitude, are learned from childhood. With age, speech etiquette acquires more and more subtleties. Let's consider speech formulas used in different situations:
1. Starting a conversation, greeting:
- health wishes: hello;
- use of meeting time: good afternoon, good evening;
- emotional greeting: very glad;
- respectful greeting - my respects.
2. The main part of the conversation. The formulas for this part of the conversation are used depending on the event during which communication occurs. This could be a festive meeting, or a sad event associated with the loss of loved ones or other unfortunate events. This also includes conversation in a normal everyday setting.
Forms of communication in a festive setting have two types - an invitation to the event itself and congratulations if you have already come to the holiday.
- Invitation: come, we will be glad, let me invite you, I invite you, may I invite you.
- Congratulations: I congratulate you with all my heart, please accept our congratulations, allow me to congratulate you, we congratulate you on behalf of the team.
- Sad events. At events that have a tinge of grief and sadness, it is necessary to use forms expressing sympathy and condolences: accept my condolences, I offer you my sincere condolences, I mourn with you, I offer you my heartfelt condolences, allow me to express my deepest condolences, I sincerely sympathize with you, hang in there.
- Everyday work environment. Communication with superiors and colleagues includes a lot of features of speech etiquette. These could be requests, compliments, advice and gratitude. Also, in a work environment, it is impossible to do without refusing and agreeing to the interlocutor’s requests:
- advice: I would advise you, let me offer you, I would like to offer you, let me give you advice;
- request: if it doesn’t bother you, I earnestly ask you, don’t consider it difficult, may I ask you;
- gratitude: thank you very much, I express my gratitude to you, let me thank you, I am very grateful to you;
- compliment: you are an excellent conversationalist, you look great, you are an excellent organizer;
- agreement: ready to listen to you, please, I don’t mind, do as you think is right;
- refusal: I have to refuse you, I am unable to help you, I cannot fulfill your request.
3. Ending the conversation. Depending on how the conversation proceeded, farewell to the interlocutor can take different forms.
SPEECH ETIQUETTE
1. Specifics of Russian speech etiquette
Speech etiquette is a system of rules of speech behavior and stable formulas for polite communication.
Possession of speech etiquette contributes to the acquisition of authority, generates trust and respect. Knowing the rules of speech etiquette and observing them allows a person to feel confident and at ease, and not experience awkwardness or difficulties in communication.
Strict adherence to speech etiquette in business communication leaves clients and partners with a favorable impression of the organization and maintains its positive reputation.
Speech etiquette has national specifics. Each nation has created its own system of rules of speech behavior. In Russian society, such qualities as tact, courtesy, tolerance, goodwill, and restraint are of particular value.
The importance of these qualities is reflected in numerous Russian proverbs and sayings that characterize ethical standards of communication. Some proverbs point to the need to listen carefully to your interlocutor: A smart person does not speak, an ignorant person does not allow him to speak. Tongue - one, ear - two, say once, listen twice. Other proverbs point out typical mistakes in constructing a conversation: Answers when he is not asked. Grandfather talks about chicken, and grandmother talks about duck. You listen, and we will remain silent. A deaf man listens to a mute man speak. Many proverbs warn about the danger of an empty, idle or offensive word: All a person’s troubles come from his tongue. Cows are caught by the horns, people by the tongue. A word is an arrow; if you release it, you will not get it back. What is unspoken can be expressed, what has been said cannot be returned. It's better to understate than to overtell. It buzzes from morning to evening, but there is nothing to listen to.
Tactfulness is an ethical norm that requires the speaker to understand the interlocutor, avoid inappropriate questions, and discuss topics that may be unpleasant for him.
Consideration lies in the ability to anticipate possible questions and wishes of the interlocutor, the willingness to inform him in detail on all topics relevant to the conversation.
Tolerance means being calm about possible differences of opinion and avoiding harsh criticism of the views of your interlocutor. You should respect the opinions of other people and try to understand why they have this or that point of view. Closely related to such a character quality as tolerance is self-control - the ability to calmly respond to unexpected or tactless questions and statements from an interlocutor.
Goodwill is necessary both in relation to the interlocutor and in the entire structure of the conversation: in its content and form, in intonation and choice of words.
2. Technique for implementing label forms
Any act of communication has a beginning, a main part and a final part. If the addressee is unfamiliar to the subject of speech, then communication begins with acquaintance. Moreover, it can occur directly or indirectly. Of course, it is advisable to have someone introduce you, but there are times when you need to do it yourself.
Etiquette offers several possible formulas:
Let me get to know you.
I'd like to meet you.
Let's get acquainted.
Let's get to know each other.
When contacting an institution by phone or in person, it becomes necessary to introduce yourself:
Let me introduce myself.
My last name is Sergeev.
My name is Valery Pavlovich.
Official and informal meetings of acquaintances and strangers begin with a greeting.
Official greeting formulas:
Hello!
Good afternoon
Unofficial greeting formulas:
Hello!
The initial formulas of communication are opposed to the formulas used at the end of communication; they express the wish: All the best (good)! or hope for a new meeting: See you tomorrow. Until the evening. Goodbye.
During communication, if there is a reason, people make invitations and express congratulations.
Invitation:
Let me invite you...
Come to the celebration (anniversary, meeting).
We'll be glad to see you.
Congratulation:
Let me congratulate you on...
Please accept my sincere (heartfelt, warm) congratulations...
Warm congratulations...
The expression of the request should be polite, delicate, but without excessive ingratiation:
Do me a favor...
If it’s not difficult for you (if it’s not difficult for you)…
Please be kind...
May I ask you...
I beg you very much...
Advice and suggestions should not be expressed in a categorical manner. It is advisable to formulate advice in the form of a delicate recommendation, a message about some important circumstances for the interlocutor:
Let me draw your attention to...
I would suggest you...
The wording of refusal to fulfill a request may be as follows:
- (I) cannot (unable, unable) to help (allow, assist).
It is currently not possible to do this.
Please understand that now is not the time to make such a request.
Sorry, but we (I) cannot fulfill your request.
I am forced to refuse (prohibit, not allow).
3. Interaction of speech and behavioral etiquette
Etiquette is closely related to ethics. Ethics prescribes the rules of moral behavior (including communication), etiquette presupposes certain manners of behavior and requires the use of external formulas of politeness, expressed in specific speech acts.
Compliance with etiquette requirements when violating ethical standards is hypocrisy and deception of others. On the other hand, completely ethical behavior that is not accompanied by adherence to the norms of etiquette will inevitably make an unpleasant impression and cause people to doubt the moral qualities of the individual.
In oral communication, it is necessary to observe a number of ethical and etiquette standards that are closely related to each other.
Firstly, you must treat your interlocutor with respect and kindness. It is prohibited to offend or insult your interlocutor with your speech, or to express disdain. Direct negative assessments of the communication partner’s personality should be avoided; only specific actions can be assessed, while maintaining the necessary tact. Rude words, a cheeky form of speech, an arrogant tone are unacceptable in intelligent communication. And from a practical point of view, such features of speech behavior are inappropriate, because never contribute to achieving the desired result in communication.
Politeness in communication presupposes an understanding of the situation, taking into account the age, gender, official and social status of the communication partner. These factors determine the degree of formality of communication, the choice of etiquette formulas, and the range of topics suitable for discussion.
Secondly, the speaker is instructed to be modest in self-assessments, not to impose his own opinions, and to avoid being too categorical in speech.
Moreover, it is necessary to put the communication partner in the center of attention, show interest in his personality, opinion, and take into account his interest in a particular topic.
It is also necessary to take into account the listener’s ability to perceive the meaning of your statements; it is advisable to give him time to rest and concentrate. For this reason, it is worth avoiding too long sentences, it is useful to take short pauses, and use speech formulas to maintain contact: you, of course, know...; you might be interested to know...; as you can see...; note…; should be noted... etc.
The norms of communication also determine the behavior of the listener.
First, you need to put other things aside to listen to the person. This rule is especially important for those specialists whose job is to serve clients.
When listening, you must treat the speaker with respect and patience, try to listen carefully and to the end. If you are very busy, it is permissible to ask to wait or reschedule the conversation for another time. In official communication, it is completely unacceptable to interrupt the interlocutor, insert various comments, especially those that sharply characterize the interlocutor’s proposals and requests. Like the speaker, the listener puts his interlocutor at the center of attention and emphasizes his interest in communicating with him. You should also be able to express your agreement or disagreement in a timely manner, answer a question, or ask your own question.
The rules of ethics and etiquette also apply to written speech.
An important issue in business letter etiquette is the choice of address. For standard letters on formal or minor occasions, the address Dear Mr. Petrov is suitable! For a letter to a senior manager, a letter of invitation, or any other letter on an important issue, it is advisable to use the word “respected” and call the addressee by name and patronymic.
In business documents, it is necessary to skillfully use the capabilities of the grammatical system of the Russian language.
For example, the active voice of a verb is used when it is necessary to indicate the active person. The passive voice should be used when the fact of an action is more important than the mention of the persons who performed the action.
The perfect form of the verb emphasizes the completeness of the action, and the imperfect indicates that the action is in the process of development.
In business correspondence, there is a tendency to avoid the pronoun I. The first person is expressed by the ending of the verb.
4. Speech distances and taboos
Distance in verbal communication is determined by age and social status. It is expressed in speech by using the pronouns you and you. Speech etiquette determines the rules for choosing one of these forms.
In general, the choice is dictated by a complex combination of external circumstances of communication and individual reactions of the interlocutors:
the degree of acquaintance of the partners (you - to an acquaintance, you - to a stranger);
the formality of the communication environment (you are informal, you are official);
the nature of the relationship (you are friendly, “warm”, you are emphatically polite or tense, aloof, “cold”);
A person’s speech is a very important characterological feature; it can be used to determine not only the level of education, but also the degree of his responsibility and discipline. His speech reveals his attitude towards other people, himself, and his business. Therefore, any person who wants to achieve success in communicating with other people needs to work on their speech. The rules of speech etiquette, a summary of which each of us learns in childhood, contribute to better mutual understanding between people and help establish relationships.
The concept of speech etiquette
Etiquette is a set of norms and rules of behavior, usually an unwritten code that each person learns along with culture. Compliance with the rules of speech etiquette is usually not required by anyone to follow in an order or in writing, but they are mandatory for everyone who wants to improve relationships with other people. Speech etiquette prescribes the desired verbal presentation of typical communication situations. No one came up with these rules intentionally; they were formed in the course of human communication over thousands of years. Each label formula has its own roots, functions and variations. Speech etiquette and etiquette rules are a sign of a well-mannered and polite person and subconsciously set up a positive perception of the person using them.
History of origin
The word "etiquette" came into French from Greece. Etymologically, it goes back to the root meaning order, rule. In France, the word was used to refer to a special card on which the rules of seating and behavior at the royal table were prescribed. But during the time of Louis XIV the phenomenon of etiquette itself, of course, did not arise; it had a much more ancient origin. The rules of speech etiquette, a brief summary of which can be described by the phrase “successful communication,” begin to take shape when people had to learn to establish relationships and negotiate with each other. Already in ancient times, there were rules of behavior that helped interlocutors overcome mutual mistrust and establish interaction. Thus, the code of good behavior is described in the texts of the ancient Greeks and Egyptians. In ancient times, etiquette rules were a kind of ritual that suggested to interlocutors that they were “of the same blood” and that they did not pose a threat. Each ritual had a verbal and non-verbal component. Gradually, the original meaning of many actions is lost, but the ritual and its verbal presentation are preserved and continue to be reproduced.
Functions of speech etiquette
Modern people often have a question about what are the rules of speech etiquette for? The short answer is to please other people. The main function of speech etiquette is establishing contact. When the interlocutor follows general rules, this makes him more understandable and predictable; we subconsciously trust more what is familiar to us. This goes back to primitive times, when the world around was very uncertain and there were dangers from everywhere; observance of rituals was then extremely important. And when the communication partner performed a familiar set of actions and said the right words, this removed some of the mistrust and facilitated contact. Today, our genetic memory also tells us that a person who follows the rules can be trusted more. The rules and norms of speech etiquette perform the function of creating a positive emotional atmosphere and help to have a favorable influence on the interlocutor. Speech etiquette also acts as a means of demonstrating respect for the interlocutor, helps to emphasize the status distribution of roles between communicants and the status of the communication situation itself - business, informal, friendly. Thus, the rules of speech etiquette are a tool. Part of the tension is relieved by simple etiquette formulas. Speech etiquette, as a formal part of ethics, performs a regulatory function; it helps to establish contacts and influences the behavior of people in typical situations.
Types of speech etiquette
Like any speech, etiquette speech behavior is very different in its written and oral form. The written version has more stringent rules, and in this form etiquette formulas are more mandatory. The oral form is more democratic; some omissions or replacement of words with actions are allowed here. For example, sometimes instead of saying “Hello,” you can get by with a nod of the head or a slight bow.
Etiquette dictates the rules of behavior in certain areas and situations. It is customary to distinguish several different types of speech etiquette. Official, business or professional speech etiquette determines the rules of speech behavior when performing official duties, during negotiations, and when preparing documents. This type is quite highly formalized, especially in its written form. The rules of Russian speech etiquette in formal and informal settings can be very different; the first signal of a transition from one type of etiquette to another may be a change from addressing “You” to addressing “you.” Everyday speech etiquette is characterized by greater freedom than official etiquette; there is greater variability in key etiquette formulas. There are also such types of speech etiquette as diplomatic, military and religious.
Principles of modern speech etiquette
Any rules of behavior are based on universal principles of morality, and speech etiquette is no exception. The golden rule of speech etiquette is based on the main moral principle formulated by I. Kant: act towards others as you would like them to act towards you. Thus, polite speech should include formulas that the person himself would be pleased to hear. The basic principles of speech etiquette are appropriateness, precision, brevity and correctness. The speaker must select speech formulas in accordance with the situation, the status of the interlocutor, and the degree of familiarity with him. In any case, you should speak as briefly as possible, but not lose the meaning of what was said. And, of course, the speaker must respect his communication partner and try to construct his statement in accordance with the rules of the Russian language. Speech etiquette is built on two more important principles: goodwill and cooperation. treats other people with an initial attitude of goodness, he must be sincere and friendly. Communicators must do everything on both sides to ensure that communication is productive, mutually beneficial and enjoyable for all participants.
Etiquette situations
Etiquette regulates behavior in various situations. Traditionally, speech differs significantly in official settings and in everyday life, as well as in different forms of its existence: written or oral. However, there are general rules of speech etiquette in various speech situations. The list of such cases is the same for any sphere, culture and form. Standard etiquette situations include:
Greetings;
Attracting attention and appeal;
Introduction and introduction;
Invitation;
Offer;
Request;
Gratitude;
Refusal and consent;
Congratulations;
Condolences;
Sympathy and comfort;
Compliment.
Each etiquette situation has a stable set of speech formulas that are recommended for use.
National features of etiquette
Speech etiquette is based on universal, universal moral principles. Therefore, its basis is the same in all cultures. Such universal principles, characteristic of all countries, include restraint in the expression of emotions, politeness, literacy and the ability to use standard speech formulas appropriate to the situation, and a positive attitude towards the interlocutor. But the particular implementation of universal human norms can vary significantly in different national cultures. Variability usually manifests itself in the speech design of a standard situation. The general culture of communication influences national speech etiquette. The rules of etiquette, for example, in the Russian language suggest maintaining a conversation even with strangers if you happen to be in a confined space with them (in a train compartment), while the Japanese and the British will try to remain silent in the same circumstances or speak on as neutral topics as possible. In order not to get into trouble when communicating with foreigners, you should, when preparing for a meeting, familiarize yourself with their etiquette rules.
Contact situation
The basic rules of speech etiquette at the beginning of a conversation are related to the speech format of greetings and addresses. For the Russian language, the main greeting formula is the word “hello”. Its synonyms can be the phrases “I greet you” with an archaic connotation and “good afternoon, morning, evening”, which are more sincere compared to the basic formulation. The greeting stage is one of the most important in establishing contact; words should be pronounced with sincere intonation, with a hint of positive emotionality.
The means of attracting attention are the words: “let me/permit me to address”, “excuse me”, “excuse me” and adding an explanatory phrase to them: ideas, requests, suggestions.
Treatment situation
Addressing is one of the difficult etiquette situations, since it can be difficult to choose the appropriate name for the person to whom you need to address. In the Russian language today, the address “Mister/Madam” is considered universal, but in speech they do not always take root well due to the negative connotations in Soviet times. The best way to address someone is by first name or patronymic, but this is not always possible. Worst option: using the words “girl”, “woman”, “man”. In a situation of professional communication, you can address the person by the name of the person’s position, for example, “Mr. Director.” The general rules of speech etiquette can be briefly described as the desire for the comfort of communicators. In no case should the address indicate any personal characteristics (age, nationality, faith).
Contact termination situation
The final stage in communication is also very important; the interlocutors will remember it and you need to try to leave a positive impression. The usual rules of speech etiquette, examples of which we know from childhood, recommend using traditional phrases for saying goodbye: “goodbye,” “see you later,” “farewell.” However, the final stage should also include words of gratitude for the time spent communicating, possibly for working together. You can also additionally express hopes for continued cooperation and say parting words. Speech etiquette and etiquette rules recommend maintaining a favorable impression when completing a contact, creating an emotional atmosphere of sincerity and warmth. This is helped more firmly by the formula: “it was very pleasant to communicate with you, I hope for further cooperation.” But cliched phrases must be pronounced as sincerely and with feeling as possible in order for them to acquire true meaning. Otherwise, farewell will not leave the desired emotional response in the memory of the interlocutor.
Rules for introduction and dating
The dating situation requires resolving the issue of conversion. Business communication and contacts with unfamiliar people require addressing as “You”. According to the rules of speech etiquette, “you” is allowed only within the framework of friendly and everyday communication. The introduction is formalized by such phrases as “let me introduce you,” “please introduce me,” “let me introduce you.” The presenter also gives a brief description of the represented person: “position, full name, place of work, or some particularly noteworthy detail.” Acquaintances must, in addition to voicing their name, say positive words: “glad to meet you,” “very nice.”
Rules of congratulations and gratitude
Modern rules of speech etiquette in the Russian language offer a fairly wide range of formulas for From simple “thank you” and “thank you” to “infinitely grateful” and “very grateful”. It is customary to add an additional positive phrase to words of gratitude for a great service or gift, for example, “very nice,” “I’m touched,” “you’re so kind.” There are extremely many congratulation formulas. When writing a congratulation on any occasion, it is worth thinking about individual words, in addition to the usual “congratulations,” that would emphasize the specificity of the occasion and the personality of the person being honored. The text of the congratulation must include any wishes; it is advisable that they are not template, but correspond to the personality of the hero of the occasion. Congratulations should be pronounced with a special feeling, which will give the words greater value.
Rules of invitation, offer, request, consent and refusal
When inviting someone to take part in something, you should also follow the rules of speech etiquette. The situations of invitation, offer and request are somewhat similar; in them, the speaker always slightly reduces the status of his role in communication and emphasizes the importance of the interlocutor. A stable expression for invitation is the phrase “we have the honor to invite,” which notes the special importance of the invitee. For invitation, offer and request, the words “please”, “please”, “please” are used. In the invitation and proposal, you can additionally say about your feelings towards the invitee: “we will be glad/happy to see you”, “we are pleased to offer you.” A request is a situation in which the speaker deliberately reduces his position in communication, but you should not overdo it; the traditional form of a request is the words: “I ask you,” “could you please.” Consent and refusal require different verbal behavior. If consent can be extremely laconic, then refusal must be accompanied by softening and motivating formulations, for example, “unfortunately, we are forced to refuse your proposal, since at the moment ....”
Rules of condolences, sympathy and apologies
In dramatic and tragic etiquette, the rules of etiquette recommend expressing only sincere feelings. Typically, regret and sympathy should be accompanied by encouraging words, for example, “we sympathize with you in connection ... and sincerely hope that ....” Condolences are offered only for truly tragic reasons; it is also appropriate to talk about your feelings and offer help. For example, “I offer you my sincere condolences for... this loss has left me with bitter feelings. If necessary, you can count on me."
Rules of approval and praise
Compliments are an important part of establishing a good relationship, these social strokes are an effective tool in establishing a good relationship. But giving compliments is an art. What distinguishes them from flattery is the degree of exaggeration. A compliment is just a slight exaggeration of the truth. The rules of speech etiquette in the Russian language state that compliments and praise should always refer to a person, and not to things, therefore the words: “how does this dress suit you” are a violation of the rules of etiquette, and a real compliment would be the phrase: “how beautiful you are in this dress". You can and should praise people for everything: for skills, character traits, for performance results, for feelings.