Having given birth to a child, we do not cease to be children ourselves. And, in turn, we argue, swear and sort things out with our mothers.

Is your mother constantly advising you about something, trying to impose her opinion, interfering with your relationship with your husband, teaching you how to raise children, or, even worse, has completely withdrawn? It’s difficult to be an understanding daughter when you’re an adult and you have a family, a job, and interests.

It happens that mothers try:

• do not let your daughter go from you: as a result, her personal life suffers;
• to raise your daughter to be “another you”, imposing your taste and your views and in every possible way rejecting your daughter’s opinion if it does not coincide with her own;
• adjusting your daughter’s husband to your ideal;
• step back completely: the daughter is an adult and should figure it out on her own.

How to behave? There is no need to go ahead or create a scandal. Mom is a dear and close person, relationships with whom are very important. Try to eliminate the factors that provoke such situations.

Live apart!

Young people should live with their family. It is almost impossible for all parties to be happy in the same apartment when everyday life gets busy, and a young family cannot have privacy or talk. But if it so happens that it is impossible to separate, we must try to at least take a break from each other. Go on vacation (especially if the atmosphere in the house is tense), travel more.

You need to live separately not only physically, but also psychologically. Many people make the big mistake of letting their mothers in on all the details of family life. To consult means to shift responsibility. Advice after advice, and now the mother is already the full-fledged mistress of the situation, dictating her own rules and making decisions. And who is to blame for this?

Don't wash dirty linen in public

The older we are, the more our mother becomes a friend to us. But still, before talking about your quarrels with your husband, you need to think carefully. Even if it has accumulated! Even if at this moment it seems that the spouse is completely wrong! Peace may soon be established with her husband, but the mother will remember how he offended her daughter, and the reproaches will continue to fall for a long time. Don’t rush to retell your mother’s words to your husband, don’t escalate the situation.

Children - for themselves

Many people believe that a mother is simply obliged to devote herself entirely to her grandchildren and help her daughter at the first call. In fact, this is not true. Mothers have already raised us, and having become grandmothers, they do not have to forget about their personal lives, their worries and interests and turn into round-the-clock nannies. If you accept this point of view, then half of the conflict situations will simply disappear.

We look at mom differently

If we consider ourselves independent and adults, then we simply need to look at our mother not from the position of a little offended girl, but from the position of an adult.

• Let's put ourselves in her place and feel all the circumstances of life. This should be done especially for those who have accumulated grievances for actions committed or not committed by their mother in the past: for example, she did not force her to wear glasses in childhood, and because of this her vision deteriorated, or she did not send her to a music school, but such a talent was lost! Ask the parent how she lived at that time, what worries she had, what the financial situation was in the family. There will probably be a lot of circumstances that you had no idea about. Then the grievances will go away by themselves. If not, then understand that mom is an ordinary person who can also make mistakes. Forgive her for this.
• We don’t like it when someone else’s opinion is imposed on us, do we? We don’t impose our own. If you don’t like something about your mother: appearance, habit, manner, way of life, you need to talk about it carefully. If mom doesn’t listen, then you should accept her for who she is.
• Can't forgive and accept? Are your emotions just asking to come out? We write a letter to mom. We describe everything that has accumulated - without concealment. We pour everything out there until our soul becomes calm. And then we tear up the letter, burn it or delete it (if it is electronic). After such psychotherapy, you will be able to build a constructive dialogue with your mother and say everything with restraint and calmly, without offending her.
• And of course, don’t forget to call mothers, visit them, take an interest in their lives, and help. Even if our views do not coincide now, they are still family and friends for us. And our relationship is an example for growing children. Let this example be positive.

Children resenting their parents is a phenomenon that occurs in almost every family.

It’s scary to admit, but some even adult children think about this:

• how to teach parents a lesson for insulting them;
• how to take revenge on parents for insult

And only a few think about how to get rid of resentment towards parents, how to forgive parents for offenses (namely, how to forgive parents for children’s offenses).

Why can a person be offended by his parents?

Psychologists identify 3 key reasons why grievances arise:

1. Inability to forgive. Sometimes even religious people find it difficult to sincerely forgive. And this is the main reason for the problem in question.
2. The desire to manipulate (consciously or subconsciously). By making someone feel guilty, the person receives a certain benefit.
3. Failure to meet expectations.

Do you have any complaints against your parents? If yes, read this article, and maybe everything will finally fall into place.

Resentment towards parents of adult children: psychology

Many adult children are ready to name dozens of times when their mom and dad did wrong. They think: “I won’t be like them,” “Everything is wrong in my life,” etc. Is it familiar?

Looking ahead, I would like to note that there is no point in being offended by your parents. Moreover, you have no right to hold a grudge against the people who gave you life. By the way, you will never be able to thank your parents for such a priceless gift - your birth. The only thing you can do is give life to another person.

What do psychologists advise on the topic “Children’s grievances against parents in adulthood”:

1. You shouldn't try to forgive, you should try to understand. You DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO JUDGE your parents. Instead of constantly replaying grievances against your parents in your head, try to understand them at least a little. Perhaps they did not have a resource (not enough money, difficult work, little experience, etc.).
2. There is no need to remain silent. Allow yourself to talk openly and honestly with your parents. Do you feel offended? So tell this to mom and dad. Nobody argues “mom and dad are saints, they should be valued, respected and loved,” but first of all they are people, your family. Perhaps, in a frank conversation, facts that you were not aware of will be revealed to you. And then you can return to point No. 1. It is possible that the parents have become wiser and calmer. They may want to admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. Give them a chance!
3. Allow your father and mother not to admit their mistakes. Yes, you can often hear “We did everything right, but now we see what an ungrateful child we raised.” Well, it is the parents' right to project their picture of the world. You have your own. Convincing an adult parent is unnecessary. You shouldn't expect your father or mother to change.
4. Learn to understand the language your parents speak to you. Perhaps a constantly nagging mother shows her love in this way, and a constantly criticizing father thereby tries to guide you on the right path (this is how he takes care of you).
5. Allow yourself to be sad for a while, talk to your little self. When a child receives insults from his parents, he is in the state of a defenseless being who has no choice. As adults, we can admit our vulnerable feelings, we can feel sorry for our little self and explain to ourselves that we cannot do this with children.

And please, don’t spend your entire adult life running around with childhood traumas like a chicken and an egg! Live calmly and free from resentment. No, well, if you like to feel sorry for yourself, continue, of course, to complain that you were bullied as a child, you were not given money, your mother did not love you, and your father often took the belt. There is always a choice: either leave childhood trauma as an experience, or allow grievances to destroy today’s and future life.

How to forgive grievances against parents?

If you set out to understand how to get rid of children’s grievances against their parents, it would not hurt to find out what such things lead to.

Did you know that resentment against parents:

• block money;
• deprived of peace;
• interfere with building relationships with the opposite sex;
• don't let you be happy;
• cause terrible diseases (): tumors, headaches, skin rashes, stomach and duodenal ulcers, etc.

Resentment towards parents leads to other ailments. Do you need it?

Working through resentment towards parents

Do you want to get rid of childhood resentment towards parents? Go for it!

How to let go of a grudge against your parents:

1. Write a letter of grievances to your parents. Take a pen, a piece of paper and write down all your experiences. Should I give this letter to mom and dad? That's your business.
2. Finally learn to love yourself. What does it mean to love yourself? This is to get rid of aggression towards yourself, this is to understand that you are a divine creation. In Christianity there is a well-known commandment: “Love God above father and mother, above son and daughter. Love God with all your mind, with all your soul, with all your heart.” The question is, how to love God? If you direct love to heaven, then it turns out that you are giving your feelings to heaven; if you direct love to the icon, then you bow to the creation of human hands. A person is closer to God in soul. This is where (into oneself) one should direct love. Loving God means loving yourself as a part of Him.
3. Find out how to forgive parents for childhood grievances from Torsunov. Listen and watch the video “How to work off the karma of relationships with parents”
4. Read it.
5. You know, write this:

Dear mommy!

I accept everything you give me, completely and completely, without exception. I accept it for the full price it cost you and costs me. I will make something out of this for your joy. It shouldn't be in vain. I honor and treasure this, and, if allowed, I will pass it on in the same way as you.

I accept you as my mother and belong to you as your daughter. You are the one I need. You are big and I am small.

Dear Mom! I'm glad you chose dad. You both are the ones I need! Only you!

Once upon a time, these lines were dictated to me by one very amazing person - an experienced coach, whom I want to thank endlessly for cleansing my (and not only my) soul.

Do you have children's grievances against your parents in your heart? I would like to believe you already know what to do with them!

In conclusion a parable about resentment against parents. Have a handkerchief ready to help hold back the flow of tears.

A parable (or maybe a real story) about FORGIVENESS

“I won’t forgive,” She said. - I will remember.

Forgive me,” the Angel asked her. – Sorry, it will be easier for you.

“No way,” She stubbornly pursed her lips. - This cannot be forgiven. Never.

Will you take revenge? – he asked worriedly.

No, I will not take revenge. I'll be above it.

Do you crave severe punishment?

I don't know what punishment would be enough.

- Everyone has to pay for their decisions. Sooner or later, but everyone… - the Angel said quietly. - It's unavoidable.

Yes, I know.

- Then forgive me! Take the weight off yourself. You are now far away from your offenders.

No. I can not. And I don't want to. There is no forgiveness for them.

“Okay, it’s up to you,” the Angel sighed. – Where do you intend to store your grudge?

Here and here,” She touched the head and heart.

- Please be careful- asked the Angel. – The poison of resentment is very dangerous. It can settle like a stone and drag you to the bottom, or it can give rise to a flame of rage that burns all living things.

This is the Memory Stone and the Noble Fury,” She interrupted him. - They are on my side.

And the resentment settled where she said - in the head and in the heart.

She was young and healthy, she was building her life, hot blood flowed in her veins, and her lungs greedily inhaled the air of freedom. She got married, had children, made friends. Sometimes, of course, she was offended by them, but mostly she forgave them. Sometimes she got angry and quarreled, then they forgave her. There were all sorts of things in life, and she tried not to remember her offense.

Many years passed before she heard that hateful word again—“forgive.”

My husband betrayed me. There is constant friction with children. Money doesn't love me. What to do? – she asked the elderly psychologist.

He listened carefully, clarified a lot, and for some reason kept asking her to talk about her childhood. She got angry and brought the conversation back to the present, but it took her back to her childhood. It seemed to her that he was wandering through the nooks and crannies of her memory, trying to examine and bring to light that long-standing resentment. She didn't want this, so she resisted. But he saw it anyway, this meticulous guy.

“You need to cleanse yourself,” he concluded. – Your grievances have grown. Later grievances stuck to them like polyps on a coral reef. This reef became an obstacle to the flow of vital energy. Because of this, you have problems in your personal life and things are not going well with your finances. This reef has sharp edges that will hurt your tender soul. Various emotions have settled and become entangled inside the reef, they poison your blood with their waste products, and this attracts more and more settlers.

Yes, I feel something like that too,” the woman nodded. – From time to time I become nervous, sometimes I feel depressed, and sometimes I just want to kill everyone. Okay, we need to clean up. But as?

Forgive that first, most important offense, the psychologist advised. “There will be no foundation and the reef will crumble.”

Never! – the woman jumped up. – This is a fair insult, because that’s how it all happened! I have the right to be offended!

Do you want to be right or happy? – asked the psychologist. But the woman did not answer, she simply got up and left, taking her coral reef with her.

Several more years passed. The woman was again at the reception, now with the doctor. The doctor looked at the pictures, leafed through the tests, frowned and chewed his lips.

Doctor, why are you silent? – she couldn’t stand it.

Do you have any relatives? - asked the doctor.

My parents died, my husband and I are divorced, but there are children and grandchildren too. Why do you need my relatives?

You see, you have a tumor. “Right here,” and the doctor showed on the photograph of the skull where she had the tumor. – Judging by the tests, the tumor is not good. This explains your constant headaches, insomnia, and fatigue. The worst thing is that the tumor has a tendency to grow rapidly. It's increasing, that's what's bad.
- So what, am I going to have an operation now? – she asked, growing cold with terrible forebodings.

No,” and the doctor frowned even more. – Here are your cardiograms for the last year. You have a very weak heart. It seems that it is squeezed on all sides and is not able to work at full capacity. It may not survive surgery. Therefore, first you need to treat the heart, and only then...

He didn’t finish speaking, and the woman realized that “later” might never come. Either the heart won’t stand it, or the tumor will crush.

By the way, your blood test isn't very good either. Hemoglobin is low, leukocytes are high... I will prescribe you medicine,” said the doctor. - But you also have to help yourself. You need to put your body in relative order and at the same time mentally prepare for the operation.

But as?

Positive emotions, warm relationships, communication with family. You will fall in love eventually. Look through the photo album and remember your happy childhood.

The woman just smiled wryly.

Try to forgive everyone, especially your parents,” the doctor unexpectedly advised. – This greatly relieves the soul. In my practice, there have been cases when forgiveness worked wonders.

Oh really? – the woman asked ironically.

Imagine. There are many auxiliary tools in medicine. Quality care, for example... Caring. Forgiveness can also be a medicine, free of charge and without a prescription.

Forgive.

Or die.

Forgive or die?

Die but not forgive?

When choice becomes a matter of life and death, you just need to decide which way you are looking.

Headache. My heart ached. “Where will you keep your grudge?” "Here and here." Now it hurt there. Perhaps the resentment had grown too much, and she wanted more. She decided to displace her owner and take over her entire body. The stupid resentment did not understand that the body could not stand it and would die.

She remembered her main offenders - those from childhood.Father and mother, who were either working or arguing all the time. They didn't love her the way she wanted. Nothing helped: neither A's and certificates of merit, nor fulfillment of their requirements, nor protest and rebellion. And then they separated, and each started a new family, where there was no place for her. At the age of sixteen she was sent to a technical school in another city, given a ticket, a suitcase with things and three thousand rubles for the first time, and that’s all - from that moment she became independent and decided: “I won’t forgive!” She carried this resentment within herself all her life, she swore that the resentment would die with her, and it seems that this is coming true.

But she had children, she had grandchildren, and a widower, Sergei Stepanych, from work, who tried to care for her ineptly, and she didn’t want to die. Well, the truth is - it was too early for her to die! “We must forgive,” she decided. “At least try.”

“Parents, I forgive you for everything,” she said uncertainly. The words sounded pitiful and unconvincing. Then she took paper and pencil and wrote: Dear parents! Dear Parents! I'm not angry anymore. I forgive you for everything.

My mouth felt bitter, my heart sank, and my head hurt even more. But she, squeezing her pen tighter, stubbornly, over and over again, wrote: “I forgive you. I forgive you". There was no relief, only irritation rose.

Not like that,” the Angel whispered. – The river always flows in one direction. They are the elders, you are the youngest. They were there before, you were there later. It was not you who gave birth to them, but they who gave birth to you. They gave you the opportunity to appear in this world. Be grateful!

“I’m grateful,” the woman said. “And I really really want to forgive them.”

Children have no right to judge their parents.

Parents are not forgiven.

They ask for forgiveness.

For what? – she asked. -Have I done anything bad to them?

You did something bad to yourself. Why did you keep that grudge inside of you? What do you have a headache about? What stone do you carry in your chest? What poisons your blood? Why does your life not flow like a full-flowing river, but flow in feeble streams? Do you want to be right or healthy?

Is it really all because of resentment towards parents? Was she the one who ruined me?

“I warned you,” the Angel reminded. – Angels always warn: don’t save, don’t wear, don’t poison yourself with grievances. They rot, stink and poison all living things around. We warn you! If a person chooses to be offended, we have no right to interfere. And if it is in favor of forgiveness, we must help.

Can I still break this coral reef? Or is it too late?

It’s never too late to try,” the Angel said softly.

But they died a long time ago! There is no one to ask for forgiveness now, so what can we do?

You ask. They will hear...

Or maybe they won't hear. In the end, you are not doing this for them, but for yourself.

Dear parents,” she began. - Forgive me, please, if something is wrong... And in general, forgive me for everything.

She spoke for a while, then fell silent and listened to herself. There are no miracles - my heart aches, my head hurts, and there are no special feelings, everything is as always.

“I don’t believe myself,” she admitted. - So many years have passed...

Try differently, - advised the Angel. - Become a child again.

How?

Get down on your knees and address them as you did in childhood: mom, dad.

The woman hesitated a little and sank to her knees. She cupped her hands, looked up and said: “Mom. Dad". And then again: “Mom, dad...”. Her eyes opened wide and began to fill with tears. “Mom, dad... it’s me, your daughter... forgive me... forgive me!” Her chest was shaken by approaching sobs, and then tears flowed in a stormy stream. And she kept repeating and repeating: “Forgive me. Please forgive me. I had no right to judge you. Mother, father…".

It took a long time before the flow of tears dried up. Exhausted, she sat straight on the floor, leaning against the sofa.

How are you – asked the Angel.

Don't know. I don't understand. “I think I’m empty,” she answered.

Repeat this daily for forty days,” said the Angel. - Like a course of treatment. Like chemotherapy. Or, if you want, instead of chemotherapy.

Yes. Yes. Forty days. I will.

Something was pulsating, tingling and rolling in hot waves in my chest. Maybe it was reef debris. And for the first time in a long time, my head didn’t hurt at all, well, just about nothing.

I dedicate this article to my mother!

My dear, the best mother in the world, thank you for existing!

Your daughter =

After the massive passion for psychology, almost each of us felt the beauty of the phrase “We all come from childhood.” Parents were instantly given responsibility and blame for everything that happens to a person in adulthood. It doesn’t matter what your childhood was like: nannies, fulfilling any whims, expensive toys, governesses or wooden toys nailed to the floor, a drinking father and a mother working three jobs, who had neither the strength nor the time for you, but lived anyway from hand to mouth. Both have complaints against their parents.

Some were beaten, some were scolded, some were constantly dissatisfied, some were punished for nothing, some were endlessly compared with other children, some were reproached for parental self-sacrifice.

But the children have grown up, the parents have aged. They often need help, and upbringing does not allow them to simply abandon old people to their fate. What's happening? Billing begins. “Do you remember what you told me about this and that? Why did you punish me then, it was not my fault! I will never forgive you for music school!”

It is not clear what these people are trying to achieve, these are completely meaningless words. It is impossible to turn the mince back; your mother will not be able to return to your childhood and do everything as you told her. She cannot undo her words and actions. Even if she now admits that yes, she is guilty (why not guilty - a little further), what does that matter to you? If you didn't have a bicycle as a child, and now you've earned money on a Bentley, then you still didn't have a bicycle as a child!

I’ll say more: if mom got a magic wand somewhere and was able to move through time, she would do exactly the same. She would say the same words, scold in the same way, or would still not buy what you dreamed of. This is how people’s psyches are structured: everyone, always, in any situation, when making a decision, does what they think is best, correct and reasonable. At the moment when a decision is made and an action is taken, a person always chooses the best path from his point of view. This does not mean at all that the decision is objectively correct, correct and will lead to positive consequences. People tend to make mistakes: they misunderstood, overestimated the importance, did not have all the information, listened to bad advice, did not take into account the details. But at the moment of committing the act, the person was sure that he was acting in the best way under the circumstances.

This understanding generally makes life much easier: you need to realize that everyone acts well in their own way.

And you shouldn’t, by the way, reproach yourself for your actions: in that situation, you acted in the way that was optimal for you at that time. You could not make another choice, you had no choice at all. You acted in the only way possible, even if you later realized that there were other solutions.

This choice was made for you by your brain and your psyche.

Mom couldn’t help but leave you in kindergarten for five days. Dad couldn't help but spank your butt. They both couldn't help but get divorced.

Neither you nor your parents are to blame for anything. You have nothing to be offended by. Well, unless the universe allowed you to be born into the wrong family. But here the claims are against the universe, not against mom and dad. Moreover, if it were not for a specific man and woman, a completely different person would have been born. You are a random coincidence; in principle, you could not exist.

Your parents are the people they were born and raised. They had their own traumas, their own life circumstances that made them like this. You didn’t choose them, but they didn’t choose to give birth to you. It's just the way things turned out. You don't get offended by rain or wind, do you? Although they can cause unpleasant sensations, do you somehow accept the fact that the weather on the planet does not depend on you and you cannot control it? Same with parents.

Resentment only poisons your life. You just can’t grow up, you keep waiting for mom and dad to owe you and give you what you demand.

Now let's be honest: why do you still communicate with your parents? Because you love? Not really. Because debt? Partly, but also not entirely. Because you are terribly afraid that they will be gone, and you won’t forgive yourself. And you will have to live with this burden. And it is true.

But is it possible to make communication with elderly parents, if not pleasant, then normal and non-traumatic? It's simple and difficult at the same time. It is necessary to switch roles. You are now an adult, and your parents are like little children. Now the game will follow your rules. You will decide what is acceptable in relation to you and what is not. What topics are forbidden, and what topics are you ready to talk about? You can stop any attempts at control if they are unpleasant to you. You can hang up if mom doesn't want to understand that you don't intend to talk about it. You don't have to call your mom every evening if it bothers you.

You won't believe how quickly your relationship will begin to improve. As soon as you take the position of an adult, and your parents are convinced that you are firm in your position, they will recognize that you are taller, stronger, more mature and now the control levers are in your hands. They will begin to listen to you, accept your schedule of visits and the scope of assistance that you are ready to provide. They will stop criticizing or patronizing you. Now it seems like a fantasy to you, but in most cases, if on both sides of the dialogue there are people who generally love each other, everything will go well.

And once again: no one is to blame. Life just happened that way.

Resentment towards your mother: how to forgive and let go

May 27, 2017 - 3 comments

How quickly the years flew by. Childhood, adolescence, youth. Now you are an adult, you are in complete control of your life and do not depend on anyone. You have absolutely no problems communicating. You easily find a common language with all people, except for one single person - your own mother. Any contact with her causes terrible discomfort, and you feel how this damn resentment towards your mother is stuck in a lump in your throat!

Why is it that every time you communicate with your nearest and dearest person, the accumulated constant grievances against your mother come to mind? Like pictures of a distorted kaleidoscope, situations from the past scroll through, when instead of praise you were showered with only dissatisfaction and criticism.

No matter what you did, no matter how hard you tried to be the best among your peers, for your mother you were always the worst of all. Her words - “Everyone’s children are like children, but it’s unclear who you are!” - still, like a razor blade, they wound your soul and form a lasting feeling of resentment and injustice towards you.

Resentment towards my mother: I was disliked and underestimated

What did you do wrong and why did your mother underestimate your efforts? Why do you still feel like you weren't loved? Every day, grievances against the mother grow exponentially, causing constant internal discomfort. And you understand with your mind that a mother is the closest person in the world, worthy of boundless love from her child. But in your heart there is only pain and emptiness.

Strange paradox, isn't it? The only one who could give life to each of us is a mother. First, you carry it anxiously for nine months, then you don’t sleep at night and worry every time you cry. Giving ourselves completely in our childhood years, and then loving unconditionally throughout our lives.

So why does this terrible feeling of resentment towards the mother arise? How to forgive and let go of resentment, how to overcome it once and for all? Is there any point at all in fighting this destructive feeling?

The root of the formation of resentment

Let's try to look at the root of this problem. Knowledge of System-Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan will help with this.

Resentment as such can only be experienced by people with an anal vector. They are conservative by nature, have excellent memory, and their psyche is focused on the past. This is necessary to fulfill the natural role of the species, which is to transfer the experience and knowledge accumulated by past generations to the future.

According to system-vector psychology, each vector has a certain geometry of comfort, through the prism of which its owner perceives the world around him. In the anal vector, the geometry of a comfortable state is a square with smooth walls. That is why for such people it is always important that everything is straight and equal, because this is the only way they feel inner balance.

When someone does something towards such a person, be it positive or negative, he has a need to repay him in kind. When someone has done something good, a feeling of guilt arises, prompting him to be grateful. And if he feels that he was treated badly and unfairly, resentment arises. Thus, the psyche of a person with an anal vector is regulated by feelings of resentment and guilt.

When someone has harmed, insulted, or done something that the owner of the anal vector perceived as negative, he cannot simply forget and move on. He will carry within himself a resentment that will only grow over time. He will return to this again and again until he takes revenge and feels balanced.

A constant return in one’s memory to negative events from life, living through these situations again and again creates a state of stupor in life for a person with an anal vector. He lives in the past, not realizing his natural mental properties in society and not fulfilling his species role, and cannot adapt to changes and to life.

How does resentment toward a mother affect life scenarios?

The relationship with the mother is of great importance for the owner of the anal vector. The way they develop in childhood completely determines his life scenario. Therefore, when a child with an anal vector has a grudge against his mother, this breaks his fate and makes his entire future life unhappy.

Since for such people the past takes priority over the present and future, they always rely on their first experience. In the case of problems in the relationship with the mother in childhood and the emergence of resentment towards her, this experience affects relationships with other people at all levels. Almost always it is transferred to women, and sometimes (if the strength of the offense is very great) it is projected onto the whole world.

The person becomes aggressive and dangerous to society. He develops a short temper, he may begin to take offense at even the slightest trifles and careless words - he is unable to fight his conditions. His whole life turns into continuous revenge, which at least somehow compensates for the insult.

When this is a resentment towards the world, which takes its roots from a resentment towards the mother, a person no longer shows aggression only towards people. He takes pleasure in destroying, breaking and spoiling everything, just to somehow alleviate his condition.

With all this, the resentment itself can be repressed deep into the unconscious. The person himself may not even understand that he is offended and that it is the offense against his mother that controls his entire life scenario and does not allow him to receive joy from life. A person does not know how to forgive and let go of an offense because he is not aware of it.

How does resentment arise against a mother?

Resentment towards the mother arises in a child with an anal vector if he is raised in a manner inconsistent with his natural mental properties. This happens when the mother has the skin vector. Due to the fact that people see others and the world around them only through themselves and do not distinguish others by their innate properties and abilities, they perceive children in the same way.

So, a mother with a skin vector, the properties of which are speed, switchability and saving time and resources, sees only shortcomings in her anal child and tries to re-educate him. She sees a problem in the fact that he is thorough and slow by nature. Not knowing how else to cope, he begins to urge, rush, tug. She replaces one demand with another, not allowing her to finish what she started. This puts the child under stress.

Constant stress from communicating with the mother causes a feeling of resentment and injustice in a child with an anal vector from early childhood. The mother herself may be in a bad state for one reason or another, and because of this, the child loses a sense of security and safety, which also causes resentment.

"No" from all sides

When the mother’s skin vector is not very developed or is in a state of unfulfillment, she can begin to control the child in everything: “Don’t go there, don’t do that, don’t stand there.” And if he asks to buy him something, it always meets with a sharp “no”. Constant prohibitions and restrictions from the mother cause enormous stress and suffering. When this happens throughout childhood, a very great resentment towards the mother is formed.

In addition, for a child with an anal vector, praise and approval are a very important need, and skinny people can be very stingy in showing positive emotions. When a child does not receive praise at all, but mistakes are constantly pointed out to him, this causes a feeling of injustice and resentment. “Nobody appreciates my efforts.” He loses motivation to act.

But resentment towards the mother can also form if the mother also has an anal vector and is herself in a state of resentment and frustration, not knowing how to forgive and let go of her past grievances. In this case, she can reproach her child, show cruelty towards him, humiliate and insult him. All this also becomes the cause of resentment that the child will carry with him all his life.

How to get rid of feelings of resentment towards your mother

The knowledge of system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan makes it possible to forever get rid of not only the oppressive and destructive state of feeling resentment towards the mother, but also helps in the future not to experience similar states towards other people. After all, resentment towards the mother, towards people or towards the world is postponed throughout the entire life scenario.

Life turns into continuous failures and does not bring joy and pleasure. It’s as if something is constantly preventing you from getting the pleasure you want from life. Some invisible force controls from the unconscious, inhibiting development and movement towards set goals.

When we realize the root of resentment, it becomes the best therapy for all the troubles and failures on our life path. Life without offense becomes a reality, and not a ghostly illusion. A person is freed from severe internal discomfort, experiencing a colossal surge of energy and vitality. Life begins to bring pleasure, and not painful suffering, as before.

Hundreds of results people who have completed training in system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan are the best proof that grievances not only go away once and for all, no longer tormented by the question of how to forgive and let go, but they never arise again.