What to do if you can't control your emotions. How to learn to control your emotions: effective techniques and advice from psychologists

- This an integral part of human essence, They are the ones who make us human, who show that we have feelings.

Most importantly, they can be used to determine how a person feels at the moment.

But not always emotional expression is a plus. You need to be able to control your emotions and feelings. Let's find out how to do this.

An emotionless person: why is he like this? Find out about this from ours.

Ability to control yourself

Why doesn't everyone have the ability to control their emotions?

Every person has emotions and feelings. They come in two types: positive and negative.

But it is not always necessary to express them vigorously and vividly, even positive ones, not to mention the second type. Sometimes it's inappropriate, this can have a bad effect on relationships, work, etc.

Therefore, it is important to learn to control yourself and manage your emotions. But as practice shows, this is not so easy to do.

Not every person can boast impeccable self-control and complete control over the situation. After all, we are all different and our reactions are also different. Not everyone can immediately pull themselves together and hide what they feel at the moment.

But you need to not only learn to mask and restrain emotions, but also not take it out on others.

To achieve results, it is worth practicing special techniques that will help even those who, as they say, “It’s all written on your face”.

Emotional regulation of behavior - what is it?

What is this concept in psychology?

Our emotions motivate us to a certain model of behavior.

Everyone's emotions may manifest themselves differently, but the meaning remains the same.

This or that emotion will be expressed in a similar way by everyone. This is called a form of behavior.

Regulation of behavior occurs due to emotions, but at the same time, it exists in opposition to these same emotions. All acts of will are accomplished in spite of human emotions, all actions are done in spite of any feelings and sensations.

The lower a person’s level of this self-regulation, the more his emotions will take hold of him. That is, emotional regulation of behavior is the ability to control oneself, no matter what.

How to learn to restrain your emotions and feelings?

To learn to control your emotions and feelings, you need to master certain techniques that regular training will give positive results.

Anger considered the most powerful human emotion, it destroys everything in its path. Anger not only destroys a person from within, but can also harm relationships with others.

But you can restrain your emotions if you know how.

Ways and techniques of self-regulation of the condition

We are all human and we all have emotions. But sometimes these emotions are significantly make our life difficult.

You cannot restrain your feelings all the time; the accumulation of negative emotions is fraught with bad consequences not only for health, but also for loved ones.

For example, if every time someone at work causes complete negativity, it accumulates and one day the anger will develop into real anger, which is not very good. Also, a person who is in constant tension may lash out at close people.

To prevent negative emotions from greatly affecting your life, you need to learn to see them, and then live them wisely and let them go so that they do not bring anything bad into your life and do not affect your relationships and health.

You can’t “swallow” everything that makes you unhappy, that... Therefore, it is important to learn self-regulation.

Certain methods will help with this, which are aimed directly at ensuring that a person learned to control my emotional state.

Training

Nowadays there is a huge number of different lectures, trainings and seminars, which are aimed at self-regulation of emotional state.

Such events are usually carried out by people who have positive experience in this matter. Different trainings may have different programs, it all depends on the person who conducts it.

But they one common goal— teach the audience to independently control their emotions and manage them correctly.

Usually the training begins with an introduction, this can be a short lecture, voicing the main questions that need to be answered. Then everyone gets to know each other, introduce themselves, they can even talk about their problem and how it interferes with their lives.

It is filled with various games that will help people practice controlling their emotional state.

During practice, all participants can be divided into several teams if conditions require it.

Emotion Management Techniques

Some people find it very difficult to restrain their emotions or even manage them correctly. But this must be done because not everyone likes excessive emotionality.

Often, people who find it difficult to control their emotions have a difficult time in a team, especially for those whose work is closely connected with society.

Such activities require a lot of emotional investment. But feelings are not always positive, so It is advisable to keep excess negativity to yourself and not show it.

How to control yourself at the right time?

At the body level

At the level of consciousness

The most effective way is to “pause the conversation.” If you experience feelings of irritation, anger, malice, etc., then the best option would be to simply ask to postpone the conversation for a while.

In this way, you can buy time for yourself to think carefully about everything and find the right words.

Using Imagination

Techniques that use imagination:

Our imagination is considered a rather powerful weapon in the fight against emotional control; it gives limitless space:

External control

There are situations when feelings just go off scale and it becomes difficult to contain them.

If you have a leaf on hand, you can tear it into small pieces, squeeze or crush it, in general, do whatever calms you down.

If it is not possible to do this manipulation, then you can draw some abstract drawings in a notebook, while trying to press down on the pen/pencil as hard as possible. Just try to do this as unnoticed as possible for your interlocutor.

Maybe, what you love can calm you down. For example, you can drink your favorite drink, eat something delicious, or listen to music. In general, do what makes you a little bit what you always do.

Exercises

During unpleasant situations, a person usually has his attitude towards the current circumstances “written on his face.”

It is known that emotional and physical states are interconnected. Therefore, it is worth controlling both.

If it is difficult to control your emotional state, then this can be easily learned. A number of special techniques and exercises will help each person be more restrained in your emotions or, on the contrary, show them more.

How to learn to control emotions and not succumb to provocations:

Emotions play an important role in human life. Failure to manage them can lead to unfortunate events. This article will tell you what emotions are and how to control them correctly.

The content of the article:

Emotions are one of the functions of the neuropsychic activity of the body, perception and reaction to the world around us and the events occurring in it. People express their attitude to this through emotions. The ability to control a situation to one degree or another is inherent in everyone. What seems simple and ordinary to us, scientists have been studying for many centuries. It is interesting that for a full life a person needs not only positive, but also negative emotions associated with anger, resentment, and despair.

Why control your emotions?

In order to become happy and free, a person must be able to manage himself. Lack of control over your emotions is fraught with thoughtless actions. Feelings are unpredictable and can interfere with even good intentions at any time. Their spontaneous nature makes it difficult to move towards their goals.

Everyone experiences emotional experiences differently. When negative, a psychomotor delay occurs, which can even cause pathologies. Failure to control your emotions can also lead to:

Offense to loved ones. In a fit of anger, a person is capable of uttering many unflattering phrases and insults to his family. Resentment is the same as aggression.
Loss of trust. As a rule, it takes months, and sometimes years, to build close relationships with others. You can lose them once and for all by simply weakening control over your own feelings.
Cardiovascular diseases. Intense psychological distress can lead to serious physiological consequences. Often it is the heart that suffers the most.
Decreased immunity. Any stress has a destructive effect that can reduce the resistance of the body's defenses.
Psychological disorders, depression. Under prolonged moral and emotional pressure, a person can fall into depression, a way out of which is possible only with long-term drug treatment.

Suppressing emotions is ignoring a problem, fearing how to solve it. Many people believe that a person needs psychological release, and to some extent this is true. Psychologists have long said that if you give yourself the opportunity to cry or get angry, depression will ease. The latter state appears due to the absence of any psycho-emotional experiences.

As we grow older, we learn how and when to express our feelings and how to control our emotions. If the outbursts of consciousness do not find a way out, then they accumulate. And to avoid this, you have to choose - to suppress or still manage emotions. The first option, unlike the second, will not help solve existing problems, but will only aggravate them. It's like a time bomb waiting to happen.

By managing our emotions, we strive for peace and tranquility, and by suppressing them, we live in fear and risk many chronic diseases. Most emotional states have a strong impact on a person’s behavior in society. That is why special methods have been developed on how to properly manage your emotions.

Note! Uncontrolled feelings can cause significant harm to relationships with other people. For example, it is difficult to find people who want to communicate with a person who “explodes” for any reason.

The main types of emotions in humans

Since feelings cannot be the same in different circumstances, it is quite logical that they are divided into certain types. Emotions can be positive, negative (negative), neutral.

There is a special type of emotion - affect, in which a person is practically unable to control them. It’s like an emergency program of the body: depending on the circumstances, a person can become aggressive, go on the run or become numb, kill someone, although he hasn’t even hurt a fly before.

Positive emotions are:

Delight is a strong rise in positive emotions.
Trust is a feeling when open, trusting relationships are built between people.
Pride is usually a positive self-assessment of one's own or others' actions.
Joy corresponds to an internal feeling of satisfaction.
Love is a feeling of deep affection.
Tenderness strengthens relationships and creates affection between people.
Pleasure is expressed in receiving a positive emotional background.
Liking is liking a person based on shared views, values, or interests.

Negative emotions are:

Grief is a person’s reaction to loss, the loss of a loved one.
Fear is a negative feeling associated with a threat to human safety.
Anxiety - occurs in a situation of anticipation of an uncertain danger.
Anger is essentially an affect directed against experienced injustice.
Despair is a state of human hopelessness.
Revenge is an act of retribution for grievances and evil caused.
Schadenfreude is the joy associated with someone's failure.
Melancholy is also called mental anxiety.

Neutral emotions manifest themselves like this:

Curiosity is a petty interest in learning about unimportant details.
Amazement is extreme surprise at something.
Indifference or apathy is a state of complete indifference to current events.

All negative feelings are provoked by the external environment and our reaction to it. Therefore, they are more difficult to cope with than emotions of internal tension. We may or may not be irritated by certain factors, but the whole point is in our perception of the universe.

Emotional reactions to stress can lead to both positive and negative consequences. It would be wise to immediately understand the problem and find a way out of the current situation. Feelings will arise, but their influence will not be so strong, it will be easier to react to external factors and control them.

What emotions need to be worked on?

It’s not just negative emotions that need control. The skills to control positive feelings and reactions to certain factors also need to be learned to apply. It is worth working with those emotions that can cause suffering, both to yourself and to others, as well as those that make you feel shame for what you have done in the future.

Nowadays, coping with internal anxiety, stress, and negative situations is not at all easy. A person has to live non-stop, constantly striving to survive, to be no worse than others, to earn money. All this leads to moral exhaustion. And now he is forced to look for an answer to the question of whether it is possible to control emotions without wasting a lot of time.

Christianity talks about the seven deadly sins, such as stinginess, envy, lust, gluttony, despondency, laziness, and pride. They are the cause of many of the resulting vices. Because of pride, we plot all sorts of intrigues against people; because of envy, we hate those who have achieved more than us.

If we combine these vices into the “three pillars” of the emotional world, we get the following:

Selfishness. The part of the personality that wants recognition, praise, superiority over other people. This shows our social existence, the image that we want to leave in the minds of the people around us. Selfishness also includes: envy, greed, pride, resentment, gloating, vanity, ambition. This is a strong source of our experiences.
Thirst for strong experiences. Thrills that bring physical pleasure, such as lust and gluttony. Participation in intrigues, creation of conflict situations. Addiction to television, computer games.
Weaknesses. They are expressed in weak character, lack of will, dependence on outside opinions, excitement, nervousness, passivity, fear, cowardice, humility, despondency and laziness, etc.

The ability to control emotions will help you avoid most problems.

Methods for managing emotions

How to control your emotions? We often ask ourselves this question. Our attitude towards emotions is somewhat similar to our attitude towards old age, which, as Cicero said, everyone wants to achieve, and having achieved it, they blame it. The ability to withstand stress and not give in to impulses that are not consistent with the demands of reason has always been considered the most important characteristic of human wisdom.

In order not to become a patient in a neurosis clinic, you must be able to pull yourself together. But, unfortunately, many do not know how to learn to control their emotions. There are many methods for this.

Psychologists advise first to master the following methods:

Restrain yourself. It is necessary not to respond to provocations, not to react to every boor. Before responding to the offender, you should count to five. It is necessary to learn to block emotions on the advice of psychologists: first we think, then we speak. We breathe calmly, our speech is even. You can go out, drink a glass of water to calm down, think and respond adequately.
Self-hypnosis. This is often saying certain phrases to yourself, for example, “I am calm,” “I control myself.” An esoteric method of self-hypnosis - for those who master energy techniques, enhancing courage and suppressing fear. Self-hypnosis can be used to change negative emotions to positive ones.
Switch or use shock therapy. Not every person can fight back an opponent. Sometimes it's easier to switch your thoughts to something positive. For example, ask an unexpected question. There are many ways to control emotions. Use your imagination as a canvas, imagine that your opponent is singing a funny song or has a funny hat on his head. Mentally draw a tall, strong wall around you. Try to disconnect from reality for a while. In this case, the provocateur will not be able to provoke a response. The “cap” method helps especially well: if your opponent yells or insults, but there is no way to answer him, you need to imagine him under a dome or some other thing that can muffle the sound of his voice.
Meditation. It helps you control not only your body, but also your spirit. Concentration techniques make it possible to develop states of peace and relaxation, understand yourself and consider your anger, and learn to let go of your negative emotions.
Daily exercise. Sometimes accumulated negativity prevents you from mastering yourself. To eliminate it, you can load your body with even the simplest exercises. Morning jogging and classes in sports clubs will help tidy up not only the body, but also the soul, and all the negativity will be burned away during training. If you feel angry, just play sports and let it out.
Prayer. It is recommended to read the prayer not only before going to bed, but also at any free moment. If a believer feels that he is losing control, he needs to close his eyes and read a prayer, ask God for strength, take away all the negativity and give him patience, wisdom, and goodwill. The main aspect is built on peace and tranquility.
Yoga breathing pranayama. Prana is life energy, breath. Yama - control, management of feelings. The breathing technique, which is designed to learn how to manage your emotions, allows you to experience negative outbursts and gain inner peace. The power of pranayamas is that it affects both the general condition of the body and the emotional sphere of a person.

All methods of controlling emotions have a right to exist and can be used both separately and simultaneously.

In order to learn to restrain yourself without showing a violent reaction to certain events, you need to know the basic rules of “emotional hygiene”:

You should try to get rid of financial problems as quickly as possible. Having returned debts to friends, paid off loans, gotten rid of obligations, of course, the emotional state will not immediately become ideal. But since he is largely influenced by internal experiences, then, having gotten rid of at least financial problems, it will become much easier to control himself, and peace will appear.
Make your home comfortable and cozy. It’s not for nothing that they used to say: “My home is my fortress.” This is where there is room for personal space, the opportunity to be alone or invite guests, while setting the tone for the conversation. It will be important to allocate a separate area for relaxation.
Strive to climb the career ladder. In an impulse to quickly realize self-realization in work matters, a person has little time for emotional outbursts. And if everything works out and goes like clockwork, then there is no negativity left at all.
Determine your main goals in life and boldly move towards them. In general, the action is similar to a career, with the only difference being that it is suitable for a person who is less ambitious or has already managed to realize himself.
Broaden your horizons, make new acquaintances. New people, meetings, communication leave no room for negativity. But it is not at all necessary to control positive emotions.

Controlling emotions is an integral part of human development. The ability to restrain feelings also depends on the type of character (melancholic, choleric, etc.).

How to control your emotions - watch the video:

Negative emotions (anger, resentment) are often the cause of physical and psychological illnesses. Positive energy, in turn, can strengthen both the psychological and physical health of a person. People who are unable to control their emotions often fall into a so-called state of passion. And frequent stays in this state can lead to diseases such as schizophrenia. Jusik especially for website

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Today, controlling your emotions at work is considered more than just good manners. In some companies and industries, self-control is a prerequisite for employment. He will tell you what it really costs and how to control your emotions at work without harming your psyche. Women's magazine Charla.

The special features of “unobtrusive Russian service” have long since sunk into the past: nowadays you rarely see a salesman standing behind the counter “in the pose of a sugar bowl” and yelling at the buyer. Large companies that serve clients and have large teams educate employees through a variety of corporate trainings and seminars. As a result, we are increasingly greeted with polite smiles and friendly attitudes. Employees within the team seem to effortlessly maintain impartiality and restraint.

As already mentioned, restraint and ability to manage emotions is good form nowadays. In some areas, employees are required to smile and have a positive attitude towards customers (salespeople, waiters, etc.). In other areas, on the contrary, you need to behave impartially and it is better not to show any emotions at all (doctors, lawyers, etc.).

According to special studies, suppressing emotions is quite exhausting and suppresses the psyche, and ostentatious friendliness is somewhat easier than the eternal “poker face”.

But we are all living people. Sometimes excessive demands or unfair reproaches from superiors can bring us to tears. The stupidity of colleagues and the nagging of clients makes you want to shout, slam your fist on the table, or even take more radical actions. It is clear that even if we manage to restrain such reactions through willpower, this takes a lot of energy. What if such cases are repeated and repeated day after day?

The same studies showed that even simply remaining calm at work is so tiring that work itself becomes less productive by the middle of the day. What can we say about the body’s reaction to the constant suppression and containment of anger or resentment?

So, should you give free rein to your emotions and smash everything around to smithereens, you ask? If this were possible and would not entail the payment of claims for damaged property and injuries, then yes, it would be good for our psyche. But in addition to the listed troubles, such behavior can attract followers... and then the world around will turn into chaos.

What to do? Learn to properly restrain yourself, consciously control outbursts of anger and resentment at an early stage, learn to give free rein to your feelings away from prying eyes. Psychologists say that the essence of controlling emotions is not to successfully suppress them, but to manage them. Unclear? Let's try it simpler.

If you are pissed off, and at the same time you maintain a calm face, restrain your feelings and do not give them any outlet at all - this cannot be called ability to control emotions. If you are trying to figure out why someone else’s actions or words hurt you so much, you admit to yourself that this person has “gotten you” and know ways to “let off steam” - this is control and management.

That is, the essence of control is this: you need to admit to yourself that you feel something at all, and not suppress any feelings. You need to admit to yourself that you have now experienced negative emotions and not blame yourself for it. It is necessary to understand in the most thorough way why this particular situation or person caused such emotions. Give your emotions an outlet.

How to control your emotions at work: irritation

No matter how hard we try to keep the Christian commandments, we will not be able to “love” all our neighbors indiscriminately. There will always be someone who will irritate us simply by their appearance, for no seemingly any reason.

If there is such a person in your environment and you have to constantly contact him (that is, you cannot simply not communicate with him), psychologists advise that the first thing you should do is try to understand what it is about him or his behavior that irritates you so much. It's not easy. Because some irritants act as if gradually, not amenable to simple analysis. But this is necessary to clarify the situation.

If you managed to determine the reason, it is not at all forbidden to report it to the colleague who has such a bad effect on you. Just talking and finding out the reasons for his behavior is enough for him to stop annoying you. If you cannot immediately understand the reason, try to take a closer look at the person, find out more about him, and put yourself in his place. Then it will be easier to find the irritant. Or maybe you will learn something about him that will distract you from irritable thoughts about him, and you will stop reacting that way.

In any case, it is important to understand that any work on oneself, as in our case learning to control emotions at work, is daily and painstaking work that will require enough time and effort. If you don't give laziness a chance and are truly interested in success, you will succeed.

Psychologists believe that even people whose irritability is due to temperament (read: nature) may well learn to control themselves. And this must be done, otherwise everyday irritation can develop into a stronger and more destructive feeling - anger.

How to control your emotions at work: anger

Anger is one of the most powerful emotions, very difficult to control. It takes a lot of energy to suppress anger, and yet it cannot be said that in the end it is completely successful.

If you have ever been angry, you probably remember how you felt at the “boiling point” and as it cooled down. Emotions are ready to spill over, the consciousness does not reason, does not analyze the causes and consequences. Hands are shaking, legs are buckling, eyes are looking for someone to “take a break” from and throw out bursting feelings. When the anger passes, a reaction occurs: lethargy, emptiness, drowsiness. What kind of productive work can we talk about here?

Working on anger control must also begin with yourself. First of all, psychologists advise understanding what feeling you are actually experiencing, is it really anger? Maybe it's fear or another feeling that seems to be disguised as anger and anger? Then it would also be good to understand the real reasons for anger and analyze the situation.

Anger is an emotion that needs to be thrown out, otherwise it will eat you up from the inside. Of course, you obviously shouldn’t do this, but you can turn your feelings in a slightly different direction. For example, use your imagination and imagine a vivid picture of reprisals against the culprit of your anger.

Imagine how you rebuff him, don’t be afraid of your fantasies, the brighter they are, the faster you will get rid of the negativity.

If it is not possible to go out and indulge in fantasies at the moment, and you feel that you will lose your temper, just try to speak more quietly and slowly, pay special attention to this, focus your attention on the rhythm of speech and the pitch of your voice. This can cool your anger, help you switch slightly, and smooth out your emotions. If you have the opportunity to retire, try to relieve psychological stress with: do some exercises, just climb the stairs several times at a fast pace. Physical activity is generally very desirable for those who experience and at the same time are forced to hide negative emotions on a daily basis.

You've probably heard that in Japan, many large corporations have full-length portraits of their bosses. These “benefits” are designed so that any employee can express to his superiors everything that he thinks about him. Or even hit it once.

At first glance it seems quite wild. But psychologists say that this is an excellent way out of the situation. After all, if you look at it, the boss is a person even busier and burdened with responsibilities than you. He has many more stressful situations and irritating factors than you. That is, he often simply does not have time to consciously control his actions, words, etc.

In a good company, of course, the bosses are quite competent in this regard and trained control your emotions at work, but they are also people and sometimes they can accidentally break down. And they don’t have time to talk to you, explain something, or apologize. Therefore, they do not at all mind that employees deal with their, so to speak, other “I”.

But splashing out emotions through assault is more likely the prerogative of men. Women are softer and more vulnerable creatures. This does not mean that they are incapable of experiencing anger, because they are capable! But for many of them, the intensity of emotions leads to banal tears.

How to control your emotions at work: tears

Tears are very difficult to hold back. If we can close our jaws tightly so as not to say too much or clench our fists in our pockets so as not to let them enter, then it is almost impossible to force ourselves not to cry.

First of all, psychologists again advise, you need to understand why you have this particular reaction to what is happening, for what reason you cannot control yourself? Perhaps it’s all due to long-term stress, extreme fatigue due to the large amount of work that has been hanging on you lately, poor health, illness, some experiences not related to work?

When the cause is found, it needs to be dealt with and eliminated as quickly as possible. Never allow yourself to think that it is your fault that you are offended and brought to tears, do not blame yourself for it. Of course, an unrestrained person, accustomed to not hiding his emotions, most often looks for and finds exactly the object that allows him to treat himself this way. That is, the screamer subconsciously feels that you will allow him, senses your vulnerability and unwillingness to fight back. But this is not your fault. This is his choice and his fault, not yours at all. However, you cannot leave everything as it is.

If you react the way he expects, he will continue to terrorize you. You should change your behavior, not give him the pleasure of seeing your pain and tears, resentment.

Easy to say, but difficult to do. And here psychologists suggest several simple ways to calm the tears that come and prevent yourself from crying. Firstly, since you know how everything can end, you need to be prepared for it. From the very beginning, try to step back from what is happening and observe the situation from the outside. Let the offender yell or make sarcastic comments to his own health, and you try not to think about his words, do not take them personally.

Also try to imagine him in some funny situation, you can even have fun in your thoughts, or even laugh out loud.

If you feel like you can't "hold the punch" and the tears are close, turn all your attention to your breathing. Try to breathe more deeply and not very deeply, focus on this, do not let your emotions take over you and throw you off your rhythm. You can drink water, counting every sip you drink - this will make you distracted. These methods are also good if the cause of your tears is not a person, but some specific situation that deprives you of peace of mind.

Here we have listed just some of the simplest ways to curb your feelings and tried to explain why it is important to control your emotions at work, rather than suppress them. For more in this direction, of course, it is worth studying the literature, maybe consulting with a psychologist or enrolling in special courses.

The most important thing is to recognize the problem, understand its importance for your mental and even physical health. This will be the first step towards the ability to control yourself and competently cope with your emotions.

Alexandra Panyutina

Emotions! This is what blinds people. Through the prism of emotions, the truth is distorted beyond recognition.
“Natalia Solntseva. Elixir for Joan of Arc"

It is known that in order to achieve a good result, as a rule, you need to have a cool head and a clear mind. This applies to almost all endeavors. But very often people who set a goal are faced with the problem of controlling emotions. No matter how smart or thoughtful a person is, he will make mistakes, especially if he is driven by strong emotional outbursts.
This article will tell you how to control your feelings and emotions, not give in to impulses of anger and rage, always remain calm and look soberly at the current situation.

In order to learn to control your emotions First of all, you need to understand the very nature of human sensitivity. Having chosen a tactic for controlling feelings, you need to correctly understand that control is not suppression and that everyone, even the most impulsive and vulnerable person, can master themselves.

Feelings and emotions in the aspect of the modern world

The culture of the modern world constantly imposes on people the opinion that a person is a kind of bundle of emotions who is obliged to express his entire “I” in full glory. As a rule, all the heroes of modern cinema, literature or the gaming industry are people guided by completely different emotions and feelings that they do not try to hide. Anger, envy, hatred, thirst for revenge, love, jealousy, devotion, etc. A person can completely subjugate his emotions and thoughts, but this is long-term work on himself, which many consider unnecessary. But it is worth remembering that we do not live in a fictional world and the violent manifestation of our character does not always play into our hands.

A person at a subconscious level absorbs everything he sees, read or hears and gradually realizes the fact that he is no longer able to control his emotions. Referring to the modern foundations of society, which tirelessly promote the cult of personality, a person seeks constant justification, trying to protect himself by the fact that the actions were committed in a fit of strong psychological stress.

But we have all at least once experienced that feeling of emptiness and disappointment when, it would seem, everything is going according to plan, but at one moment it breaks down and sometimes there is no longer a chance to return to the starting point.
Unwittingly, we become hostages of our own ambitions, feelings and beliefs, trying to instill in ourselves the idea that it is absolutely not necessary to know how to control our emotions. Human psychology is structured in such a way that the desire to show one’s own “I” is sometimes much stronger than the desire to achieve the desired result and at the same time completely control one’s inner world. But if you still see the point in keeping your desires and emotions under control, then it’s worth figuring out why this is necessary?

Control emotions??? TO ME? LOOK AT YOURSELF!

The main reason to learn to control your emotions is the desire to be happy and not to reproach yourself for committing rash acts. Emotions constantly take precedence over a person’s consciousness, and this interferes with sober thinking and awareness of the current situation. Very often we regret the actions we have taken, twist them in our heads and imagine different options for getting out of the situation. But why should we think about it later, if everyone has the opportunity to comprehend what is happening at the moment of its occurrence and take the most advantageous position?

There is no need to waste words... Emotions will pass, only reason will remain. Well, then you’ll have to correct the situation that you didn’t think about right away...

Why don't we learn to control our negative emotions? After all, everyone is well aware that our emotions not only devour ourselves, but also give an advantage to other, calmer people. For opponents, emotional people are an open book. How to control your emotions and why this is necessary is the main question that people who want to achieve their goals without damaging their inner world should ask.

Calmness is stronger than emotions. Silence is louder than a scream. Indifference is worse than war.

Emotions have a unique property of multiplying. This means that one tiny but strong emotion can grow to an incredibly large scale, while attracting thousands of its own kind. Sounds like a description of a virus, doesn't it? But no matter how bad it may sound, emotions are the viruses of our soul, while we control them and keep them within acceptable limits - everything is quiet and calm, but as soon as we give them free rein, everything goes wrong. It is because of our emotions that we hurt our loved ones and ourselves, allowing the virus to completely take over us and our inner demons to show their faces. Negative emotions take over us and happily drive us into a corner, thereby preventing us from rising up.

Emotions that need control

Before exploring various ways to control emotions and feelings, it is worth clearly understanding and highlighting those aspects of your character that most need a strong rein. First of all, it is worth remembering that not only negative emotions can be destructive for your mental state, but also positive feelings sometimes lead to fatal consequences.

Negative emotions do not end in the past, this is their difference from positive ones - they are forced to be projected into the future.

As a rule, all emotions can be divided into three subtypes, which affect a person differently and push him to rash actions:

Egocentrism and narcissism.
This category includes all emotions that require nourishment from others. These are feelings that require self-affirmation, power, attention, recognition in the eyes of others. People who are focused only on their selfish ambitions suffer from envy, pride, greed and demonstrative display of their character. The fact that self-improvement is a good character trait has not been canceled. But if you concentrate too much on your self-esteem, emotions take precedence over reason and, as a rule, such people do not encounter anything but negativity from others, which leads to frequent depression, hatred of others and a feeling of complete loneliness. Selfishness is one of the most powerful emotions, which entails a whole chain of various troubles and psychological disappointments.

Weaknesses and complexes.
Another subtype of emotions is human weaknesses, which he cannot overcome and because of this he falls into a state of despondency. Such a destructive disorder is fraught with laziness, shyness, apathy, melancholy, fear and cowardice, as well as submission to a stronger person. People who do not control such feelings often lead a secluded life and, over time, cease to set any goals.

Carnal needs and the desire to escape reality.
This list will include those desires and emotions that make a person feel unclaimed in life, which creates a desire to hide from reality and gain satisfaction through physical aspects, such as gluttony, lust, thirst for money and power, the need for adrenaline and quarrels with others , secrecy and reluctance to perceive reality.

There are three aspects of human emotional psychology that exist in everyone, so it is important to remember them and clearly understand which trait of your character needs the most control. The rest of the article will tell you how to learn to control your emotions in relationships with people around you and describe the main ways to control yourself. But first of all, you need to understand what benefits such practice will bring.

What will a person gain who learns to control the impulses of his emotions?

Positive emotions always outshine negative ones.

There is a whole list of pleasant sensations available only to those people who have learned to control themselves, for example:
1. Good health and joy felt every day.
2. Calmness and tranquility.
3. Attentiveness and insight.
4. Success in all endeavors and accurate goal achievement.
5. Warm relationships with people around you.

But the main feature for all people who control their emotions is that they easily manage their lives and are not led by their weaknesses and emotions. You just need to know how to control your emotions, and anger, irritation, dissatisfaction will leave the abode of your soul forever.
Several ways to control emotions

Psychologists around the world advise several effective ways that will help you learn to control your emotions, get organized and make your life bright, bright, and most importantly, planned. Do not forget that in addition to negativity, there are such qualities as patience, kindness, calmness and nobility.

The worst mistake is to respond with emotions to the emotions of your opponent.
Instead, a firm, measured answer.
TV series: Lie To Me / The Theory of Lies (Lie To Me)

Several methods of self-control:
Restrain yourself. In any conflict situation, try to let the negativity pass you by, count to ten and gain calm. If you can adequately respond to provocation, this is your first victory! After this victory, you can begin to slowly suppress emotions, block it and try to ignore any manifestation of it.

Switch yourself to foreign objects. In any situation, when you are overcome by anger, during any quarrel, simply switch your attention to any object in the room, stay calm and imagine that now you hear not a scream, but the singing of birds. Try to disconnect from reality for a while.

Switch the interlocutor to a foreign object. Let him shout or provoke you, just stun him with a completely ridiculous off-topic question; as a rule, this unsettles the interlocutor and the conflict ends.

Self-hypnosis will help you replace a negative emotion with something pleasant and soft. Just think that instead of anger, you may experience more vivid emotions. You can repeat mantras - a very effective way.

It is also easier to control emotions for those who practice various techniques of meditation or prayer, the main aspect of which is built on calmness and tranquility.

Identification is also an indispensable way to control oneself. Choose a character from a movie/book/cartoon that you want to be like and try on his mask. You must bring the role to perfection!

The main fighter against all negative emotions is physical exercise! If you feel angry or other bad emotion, go in for sports and throw it out.

Video about emotional intelligence explains in detail how to learn to control emotions

Learn to be in harmony with yourself, suppress large outbursts of uncontrolled emotions and feelings, and you will notice that life is much brighter and simpler than you thought.

This is just a small part of where you can start your self-improvement. Get to know yourself from all sides!

Do you often lose your temper in difficult situations? Agree, the inability to control your emotions often interferes with life. Therefore, managing them is very important. Don't know how? We'll tell you!

This article is intended for persons over 18 years of age

Have you already turned 18?

What are emotions?

There are several definitions of the concept “emotions”. Some call this concept the expression of emotional experiences using voice and facial movements. Others are situational manifestations of feelings (short and quick). Still others are feelings that are expressed specifically for others. In other words, to summarize all the definitions, emotions are expressive movements that carry information about a person’s state and convey his attitude to a particular action or event.

There are several types of emotions:

positive - forgiveness, joy, admiration, pleasure, etc.;
negative - envy, hatred, anger, anger, irritation, etc.;
neutral - acquiring different shades in different situations (for example, surprise).

Why do you need to control your emotions?

The ability to manage your emotions is very important for any person. First, emotions often arise in the wrong place and at the wrong time. Secondly, our emotions can hurt people around us. Thirdly, if we are overwhelmed with emotions, it will be much more difficult for us to concentrate on anything. Excessive emotions make it difficult to relax and unwind. The ability to manage emotions is a sign of a developed personality and an educated person who is able to control his feelings even in situations where it is very difficult. The ability to manage emotions needs to be developed. You can do this yourself or with the help of specialists who will give you practical advice.

How to learn to manage your emotions?

More than one book is devoted to acquiring the skills to manage emotions. This question is studied by such a science as psychology. We will try to briefly summarize the most basic tips on how you can gain control over yourself.

1. Watch your face.Before the emotion gains strength, remove it by changing your facial expression to a more neutral one. If you can do this, the intensity of passions will immediately subside. If this causes you difficulty, then you need to resort to training the skill of calm presence. This skill is one of the most effective and simple ways to manage your own feelings. Its essence is as follows: create a list of situations in which your face expresses emotions (curves, wrinkles, twitches, etc.). This often happens in situations where you have to do something unpleasant. Take control of this everyday situation (for example, washing dishes) and practice a calm face. In a couple of weeks you will start to succeed, and in six months you will have developed a corresponding habit. Your face will remain calm in any situation, and at the same time your character will become balanced and calm. A greater effect can be achieved by filming yourself. This way you can see how you have learned to control yourself, and this will inspire you to continue training. If you want to teach your child to gain control over himself, it will be enough to give him the command every time: “Stop, stand still for a minute with a smile!”, and in a minute you will see the result.

2. Watch your breathing.Your emotional state will immediately change if you change the rhythm and frequency of your breathing. If you need to raise your energy, it is enough to do exercises accompanied by sharp and strong exhalations. If you need to calm down, start taking calm breaths in and out.

3. Learn to control your thoughts, as they tend to control our attention. If you think about the positive aspects of life, you trigger positive emotions (negative thoughts create negative emotions). Your job is to avoid negative thoughts. This can be done by switching to other, more positive thoughts. To do this, you need to either say positive phrases out loud, or imagine bright positive pictures (for example, beautiful flowers, a rainbow, etc.).

4. Learn to manage your mood.The emotions you experience depend on your mood. Therefore, your task is to constantly improve your mood. The easiest way is to choose an action that improves your mood and do it every time. For example, you improve your mood by walking in the park, then every time your mood deteriorates, go for a walk in the park.

If you approach the issue from the perspective of mental hygiene, then the following exercises will help you find lasting joy:

start taking pictures of your unhappy face. You won’t like it, and you will subconsciously look for an option on how to make your face happy;
standing near the mirror, repeat the phrase ten times: “What a bad mood I’m in.” As a rule, after the fifth repetition a smile appears and the mood becomes much better;
If you are overcome by negative emotions and are in the grip of a bad mood, smile as widely as possible and maintain this smile for a while. You will immediately feel the negative emotions recede;
laugh sharply - your mood will immediately improve;
distract yourself from negative thoughts by turning your attention to positive aspects;
mentally talk to yourself, asking questions: “Why do I need this emotion? What are the benefits of this emotion? Is there a different way to respond to the situation?” In dialogue with yourself, negative emotions will leave you;
recharge yourself with the emotions of other people - a smile will cause a return smile;
use chromotherapy and aromatherapy. Surround yourself with bright color pictures that improve your mood, your favorite smells;
know yourself. The more you know yourself, the better you will learn to control your emotions and your mood. Try to talk more with friends and relatives about your feelings, then over time you will learn to accurately determine which emotion is possessing you at a given moment in time, and you will control it;
use self-motivation. Determine those goals that will move you forward, give you the strength to overcome negative emotions, control your emotions;
be positive. Treat any life situation more simply and try to see something good in each, even the most difficult one;
avoid negativity. Choose your emotions yourself and don’t let anyone influence them;
learn to let go of the situation. There are enough events in every person’s life that leave an unpleasant aftertaste. Let go of these situations, get rid of the burden that prevents you from moving forward;
read books. Reading books gives you a lot of impressions and positive emotions. The book helps fight bad mood and depression, helps achieve inner harmony;
Choose a hobby or hobby you like. Then you will have no time left for negativity, all your free time will be devoted to what you love;
change the situation. Take a break from events and people that cause you negative emotions and recharge yourself with positive impressions.

Why is it important to know how to manage your emotions and feelings?

Strong emotions can add bright colors to your life, but at the same time they can destroy your health and psyche. Negative emotions dull your sensitivity to other people and contribute to the destruction of relationships with others. All your energy resources are spent on experiences, which means that you no longer have enough of them to achieve anything significant. For example, negative emotions can hinder your career if you fail to control them in the negotiation process.

As for health, negative emotions are the cause of many diseases, both psychological and physical. Therefore, it is very important to prevent neurological reactions by controlling negative emotions in order to avoid sad consequences. People who remain in a state of stress for a long time put their health at great risk (psychosomatics). This is especially important for students and schoolchildren during exams. Is a person able to cope with this on his own? Yes, definitely. By taking control of your emotions, you will become the master of your life and make it happy and harmonious.