Good day, friends! Question from Elena: I was in Church, talked to Father, he told me that I should stop judging other people, he told me to pray for this. After that, I myself began to notice that I constantly judge others, even when I am alone, and this really bothers me. Help, tell me how to stop judging others?
I’ll say right away that almost all people suffer from the bad habit of judging others or themselves. Just the degree is different for everyone. Some people live only by grinding other people's bones and derive malicious pleasure from it. As a rule, this is the only thing that gives them their unclean joy.
The roots of condemning others grow from his wounded Ego and unfinished work. And the higher a person’s degree, the more prone he is to arrogant judgment of others. Let's look at the definitions and root causes of this vile sin.
What is judging other people? Esoteric reasons
Judging others – a negative habit and the undeserved right to arrogantly judge others for their shortcomings, while not seeing the merits of people and the Good in their souls.
The main motive why a person condemns others is self-affirmation, the desire to elevate himself by belittling (humiliating) others (that is, to raise his self-esteem by lowering the value of other people). To make this easier, the judge prefers to ignore the merits of other people and magnify their shortcomings as much as possible.
But such an approach to raising one’s self-esteem (at the expense of humiliating others) always leads to deep internal dissatisfaction, justification for one’s shortcomings, and an increase in internal anger. This inevitably leads a person to a dead-end life situation, when someone who judges others cannot change anything in his own destiny for the better.
To get rid of the habit of condemning, judging others, you need to understand and remove the internal root causes of condemnation.
Esoteric root causes of condemnation of people:
- Ego and pride. When one person considers himself smarter and better than others, he gives himself the right to judge everyone. It is arrogant to criticize and judge their deeds as if he were a god. But such criticism is never constructive, fair and fruitful, it does not create anything good, does not eliminate shortcomings, but only strengthens and feeds mutual negativity (generates evil).
- (the underside of pride). When a person has low self-esteem, instead of strengthening it, he tries to belittle the dignity of other people, going over and exaggerating their shortcomings and weaknesses. But this strengthens his own negative attitude towards people and his inability to see the good in them. Judging others always destroys positive connections with people and bright feelings towards them (love, respect, gratitude, devotion, friendship), and accordingly destroys relationships.
- Dislike of people (lack of kindness in the heart) and others. There are people who are negative in their essence (dark souls), and the only source of joy for such people is gloating, dark joy from the humiliation, condemnation and suffering of other people. such people are dead, dry and bitter, so they are not able to be kind, experience pure joy and love. What made their heart this way? There are many reasons. One of the main ones is accumulated unresolved issues on others, on oneself, on fate.
Judging others. Additional definitions and explanations
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said: “And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not feel the beam in your own eye?... You hypocrite! First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Other words of Christ: “Judge not, lest ye be judged.”
Everyone has shortcomings, and it is much easier to judge others for their weaknesses than to work on yourself to get rid of your own. We need to understand the following: if we judge other people for their sins, it will never make us and our lives better!
And the one who knows from his own experience how difficult it is to get rid of his shortcomings and weaknesses will not judge others for their sins, but will wish them Good in working on them.
Good quotes to think about:
People, having neither the power nor the competence to do so, condemn sinners both verbally and mentally. While only he can condemn, pass a sentence and carry it out. When we condemn a person, we usurp the rights of God. “Who are you who judges another?” - says the Apostle Paul. God alone can justify or condemn someone. We people must learn to “see our sins and not condemn our brother.”
Condemnation is a demonic state. The first one to fall into this was the devil himself. The devil condemned and slandered God before the ancestors, and then began to teach condemnation of people.
Of course, there are quite advanced cases when a person is literally like an automaton, like a zombie, for whom condemnation of others and gloating have become the way and meaning of life, and he, like a drug addict, can no longer live without it. In such cases, as a rule, there is an incorporation of entities and the person no longer controls himself. You can't do without good help here.
And in other cases, you can overcome the habit of judging by working on yourself on your own or with.
People judge others because they have no self-esteem and little kindness in their hearts.
- Start with your attitude , with kindness towards yourself, with the ability to see, accept and appreciate your strengths. Next, you need to learn to see and accept the good (virtues) in other people. If a person truly respects himself, loves and values his Soul, he has no need to belittle the dignity of others in order to rise above them. Study and work on the articles in the section.
- Ask yourself: why, why, why am I condemning this person? Write down all the answers that come to your mind. Analyze the reasons for condemnation: envy, resentment and revenge, low self-esteem or pride, hatred of people (desire for evil), etc. If you understand the individual internal reasons, it will be clearer to you what you need to work with. You will find a fairly large set of practices for working on yourself on the page.
- How to fight the very habit of judging others and what to replace it with.
- When you feel the urge to judge others and wash their bones, immediately take a piece of paper, a pencil, and start writing down, separated by commas, your shortcomings, weaknesses, sins, failures that prevent you from living and which you would like to overcome in yourself. This will direct your attention, mind, potential and will into a creative direction, into working on yourself! :)
- The next step is to write down all the positive qualities and achievements that you want to replace your shortcomings and failures with!
- The third step is to write down those people from whom you can learn the virtues and achievements recorded in the previous paragraph.
This exercise will make you better and kinder, you will learn to respect other people more, appreciate them for their merits, wean you from the habit of judging others, directing your attention to your own development!
If you have any questions - !
Also read related articles
Post update. I would rewrite this post a little, because... It's a bit too chaotic and everything is in a heap. But I don’t have time yet, and I don’t have a coherent understanding of how best to rewrite it, so I’ll leave it as it is, there’s a lot of valuable information here.
The topic of non-judgment is one of the most difficult to implement. No matter how much it is worked on, it still spirals out again and again in new situations, and begins to spoil the mood and eat up energy.
But often condemnation sits within us for years towards a loved one - parents, children, partner, friends.
Probably, we condemn our loved ones or those towards whom we act as rescuers most often and most strongly. The most common reason is that they live in the wrong way, with the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, for ruining their lives, for not loving us enough or loving us in the wrong way. But the rescuers there have their own hellish triangle - Karmpana “Rescuer - Persecutor - Victim”, along which they can walk along the edges at least several times a day, at least once every six months. And even if at first there were seemingly harmless motives for salvation without obvious condemnation, then still later a more obvious condemnation appears, because the rescuer always considers the other to be more flawed by default. There are also twists of consciousness and psychodefense that the other person is stronger and more advanced, but the rescuer feels stronger. And often there is not only condemnation for the fact that another is leading some kind of self-destructive course of action, not for the actions of that person as such, but for the attitude towards him, the rescuer, which he does not like.
It often happens like this: people themselves mess up - they are in an imbalance in relationships, stick to someone who doesn’t want to have something in common with them, teach them how to live, start arguments, quarrels and scandals, get into the boundaries of other people, and then respond receive behavior they don't like and begin to judge that person.
The topic of condemnation has a lot to do with our external locus of control, our own egoism, categoricalness, pride (a sense of self-importance). It is connected both with our capacity and with the ability to switch.
Usually the person whom we condemn and with whom we conduct dialogues in our heads is the one on whom we ourselves depend, the one whose figure is large enough. Some try to practice forgiveness in relation to the one they condemn, that is, to stand on top of him wearing a crown (if we speak in terms of Evolution, i.e. psychoprotection) “I am stronger,” but often they call even more strongly to the person and all this situations internal. In general, if you stand on top and put on a “white coat”, something like “objectively I’m right, he’s wrong, but I’m smarter, that’s why I won’t get to the bottom of him with my truth” - this means closing off a lot of the real truth, and not this “objective” one. And when you don’t see the truth, there’s nothing to work with. For example, why a wife condemns her husband is a huge question with a lot of nuances. But simply editing the locus and dividing the boundaries will help, even without understanding what and how things really are.
I really like this piece from Marina Komissarova:
“Why, time after time, people with borderline bugs attribute to me calls to “forgive your parents.”
I never called for this, you confused me with some kind of saint.
Are you a judge at the Last Judgment, so that your highest forgiveness is worth something?
There is no need to forgive your parents, this is also a merging of boundaries, just move away from them if for some reason you cannot communicate normally with them, if they have tormented you before or are tormenting you now. It is better to help frail parents if they took care of you as a child, this is the norm for an adult. But if you were kept in a closet and beaten, you don’t need to care about such parents, well, to hell with them.
And there is no need to forgive them either. You just need to let go.»
This is from the article “Sadistic Parents”.
This topic is also strongly related to borders.- we believe that if it seems to us that we know what is best, then we have the right to interfere in the lives of other people, to dictate something to them “from above.” Or remain silent, shy or afraid to speak up, but at the same time condemn and dictate within yourself.
And he also conveys this idea well, why there is no need to judge others (and also yourself). Why is this really not necessary in life?
Here's how he discusses this topic:
Why is condemnation the destruction of oneself?
The most important idea that Alexander Palienko is trying to convey to us is when we judge someone, we take their problems and sins upon ourselves.
We are destroying ourselves, our health, our future, and bringing our old age closer.
Instead of solving our own problems, approaching the implementation of our own planned program, we solve other people’s problems and shorten our lives.
So lately I've been trying to remember and ask myself the question - Do I really want to take on his problems right now?
In our selfishness and sense of self-importance, we believe that there is some kind of universal solution that is equally good for us and for that completely different person. And we try to bring him to him, or we simply condemn him when he behaves differently - for example, he deceives, causes pain, or otherwise, in our opinion, acts badly.
But in reality, each person has his own, unique path - which was conceived long before he was born on this planet (this I believe). He has his own genes, his own childhood, a set of his own qualities and shortcomings, which, as he develops, he must transform into advantages. Don't compare yourself to him. Everything is completely different from conception and even before. Every, every minute of his and your life.
This is his program that he follows, good or bad. His bumps and lessons. His gigantic path, which consists of millions of seconds, many even before his birth. Your own path and level of consciousness, which you have no idea about.
Ask yourself a question: Do I really, not knowing what path he took, how he passed it, what tasks he had on this earth, what people he encountered all these years, do I consider myself the right to dictate to him what to do, or simply the right to judge him?
Is it accurate? I consider myself such a global super expert that at this point in his life I would now be much better than him, and would I have acted somehow better and more effectively for the entire huge chain of his life at all stages?
Well, if yes, if you think that you think that after all this you would have acted definitely better than him in such a situation, having gone all the way... Then, probably, you have the right to get his problems and show this person and everyone how you have to go through them)
So far I have drawn some conclusion from what Alexander is talking about.
Here's from him:
"When we
condemn
let's adjust
we're offended
let's consult
making excuses
we are in a hurry (about someone)
we begin to live by the laws of this person and the one to whom we make excuses, whom we adapt to, whom we condemn.”
Stay on high frequency energy
Besides the fact that we take other people's problems upon ourselves, we are also switching to low-frequency energy- this means that we create not the most pleasant events in our lives instead of those that could have happened if we had maintained a neutral attitude and positivity.
Remember the movie "The Secret"? There is also an excellent book “Power” - I will also definitely make a separate post about it, it contains many quotes from famous physicists and Nobel laureates about how this world actually works and logically justified why you should not switch to low-frequency waves.
This is exactly what the 4th “magic” rule of Alexander Palienko is about.
“Looking for the good in everything. The ability to speak creatively and think, then the program of creation begins.”
“Our society has raised us in such a way that we are accustomed to looking for flaws in everything and condemning others. Remember what you talk about when you get together in a company? As a rule, there is an expression of dissatisfaction with everything: from neighbors to the government and the president. And the body tunes in to the energy that we constantly use. After all, if you take a cigarette from a smoker, the body will demand it out of habit, even though it is harmful.
When we live at the level of condemnation, we switch to low-frequency vibrations that form negative events. You need to learn to see something positive in all situations: the weather is sunny, a bird is singing beautifully, a passerby is wearing a great suit, etc.
By doing this regularly, we program the subconscious to be positive, and the brain begins to snatch positive events from the world around us. The ability to look for beauty in the world, embedded in the subconscious, will guide you through life.
When you come to the store, you will find the best shoes, and when looking for a job, you will choose the most interesting and highly paid one, etc.
When you learn to see the positive in life, no matter what happens, you will understand that with the bad comes good. S. Lazarev (author of the books “Diagnostics of Karma”) has a phrase: “If you feel good today, then look back. That’s where, when you felt bad, your good was laid.”
And here’s another from one of Alexander’s last speeches:
“When I looked at people who have large debts and a lot of loans hanging on them, it turned out that they have three points in their behavior: bragging, giving advice and judging. These three points drive us into loans and debts.»
Loss of energy
When judging someone, we engage in internal dialogue, walk around and say many, many times everything that remains unspoken and what we think in relation to the person. We take a huge amount of energy from ourselves completely in vain. And the more the significance of this event and the figure of this person grows, the more energy flows into this hole.
We see it in ourselves
There is also a very common opinion (which I still have difficulty understanding)). That everyone around us is mirror people. That if we did not have some quality in us, we would not see them in another. That most people in our lives appear specifically to point us to something.
Well, at least the egocentric attracts the egocentric, the infantile - the infantile - I believe in that.
And Alexander Palienko also talks about this:
“If we forgave someone, and he does it again, it means we didn’t forgive him the last time. Forgiveness means accepting yourself in such a situation. Accept yourself as the same. Accept this in yourself.
If something annoys or angers us, we become angry or condemn it within ourselves.
As soon as we work through all this, the subconscious will begin to present other situations where we need to work on our categoricalness and bring it into multitasking.”
About weak people (vampires)
It is usually extremely difficult not to judge weak people or those who constantly try to provoke you into negative emotions and are fueled by them.
“Weak people (vampires): their way of life is to complain, carry on empty conversations, talk about the past, adjust, be offended, make excuses, feel guilty, judge everyone around, feel sorry for themselves.
When we help the weak, we become weaker ourselves, and make these people even more degraded.
When we help the strong, we become stronger.
Difference between the WEAK and the STRONG. In fact, everyone who is weak but STRONG can admit it to themselves, and try to take responsibility and change what happens to them. That is, the strong also vampirize from time to time, one way or another, but they admit it slightly.
THE WEAK are those who are not going to change something, take responsibility and admit to themselves that they behave this way. They try to make excuses or blame everyone around for the fact that things are so bad for them. For the weak, this is a specific way of thinking and living, and it is from here that they draw energy for themselves.”
There will be a separate post about weak people, but for now the gist is that, as far as possible, it is better to get rid of most weak people in your life. And then condemnation will also leave you. All the same, all the condemnation will not go away from life, it will be enough to work through) But life will become much easier and more pleasant.
But in general, I have a hard time imagining such a strong person who tolerates the weak and aching for a long time. Unless the strong one is wearing the crown of the Rescuer, and then this situation is quite useful for him to realize this moment. And so - you always want to get rid of it as quickly as possible and no longer communicate with such people.
What to do
So far I am drawing the following conclusions for myself:
- don’t get hung up and learn to switch quickly, learn to separate boundaries and get away from the person COMPLETELY. Accept his right to do as he pleases.
Adjusting your locus of control to internal means not relying on other people in your life and not overthinking their lives and actions, not exaggerating, not getting hung up on the influence and ALLEGED influence (which is probably much less than it seems) of other people’s actions on you. Realize and admit, voice to yourself that I blame, condemn, scold another person and stop and think about what I can do about this situation to make ME feel better
- make your life more eventful, pump up YOUR resources, so that there is no time to concentrate on the little things. Helping other people, altruism helps to reduce the degree of egocentrism
- to be aware of our infantilism and egocentrism, our desire to “climb into arms”, which perhaps someone did not like and in response we received behavior that we condemn, OUR dependence on a person, our desire to receive something from him - that is including his approval, his inappropriate behavior
- learn gratitude and respect for people and their contributions to our lives, of their own free will
- if you judge someone and cannot stop, try to remove this communication or this person from your life, if it is not useful, and if possible, switch your attention to other interesting things.
Reduce the degree of tragedy.
In general, work exclusively on yourself.
In this article I lumped everything together) Esotericism, psychology, my own conclusions. Maybe one thing will help someone reduce the number of judgments in their life, and something else will help someone else.
Receive daily short posts on the topic of self-development and personal effectiveness, life improvement:
True, the mystery of the Universe: why are people important to us so often ready to besiege rather than help? And that would be fine, but sometimes it comes to crazy conflicts. For a solution I had to turn to psychologist and gestalt therapist Anna Nazarova.
Human factor
Probably our biggest problem is that we are all human; no other forms of intelligence have been seen on Earth. Expecting applause in response to the fresh idea of running ten in a week, you, admit it, often forget that the guy opposite has a personal life, and it usually contains problems. Headache, fatigue and just a bad mood are completely valid reasons for a sour “Well, I don’t know. Are you in shape?” And before you write down your loved one as a scoundrel, take a minute to find out how he is doing. It does not matter? Let's move on to the next point.
Reasons for conviction
Of course, situations are different, and it's not just about you. And, for example, in a parent who has been saying for thirty years that “they can’t wear minis with your legs.” As soon as you rebel, your mother or grandmother becomes offended: “I’m loving! Who else will tell you the truth? Since (see the previous paragraph) even parents are completely earthly beings, it makes sense to stop and put them on the shelves - what are they?
- We are talking about varying degrees of aggression. It's time to accept: yes, you can annoy those around you, and even those closest to you. For example, because in their coordinate system it is important to live “the right way,” but here you are going to Italy again. I could have already given birth to three people and not deal with nonsense. It's clear?
- Your family is afraid of your failure. If the person next to you is a narcissist who reacts sharply to her own failures, most likely she also tends to feel your losses deeply. And the more a person is afraid of failure, the more strange it will be to perceive your successes. Something like: “Have you been promoted? Why? Remember, if you fly high, you’ll fall hard!”
- Girlfriends, teachers, husbands and even parents may see you as competition., they have a right. And then hold on: with all the power of their authority they will try to deprive you of your advantage, that is, of confidence in your abilities.
- Your family is afraid of your failure. If the person next to you is a narcissist who reacts sharply to her own failures, most likely she also tends to feel your losses deeply. And the more a person is afraid of failure, the more strange it will be to perceive your successes. Something like: “Have you been promoted? Why? Remember, if you fly high, you’ll fall hard!”
For some, it becomes easier just to think that “it’s my mother’s bad mood, and not my fat legs.” By the way, at this point it would be good to remember if you messed up. Maybe she didn’t call for six months and now she showed up in a daring skirt? Then the mini is not something that seriously worries parents. If there is nothing of the kind, and you seem to have figured out the reasons for the discontent, it’s time to learn to live with it.
How not to criticize yourself
When a child is reprimanded (primarily by parents and teachers), somewhere in the depths of him a critic is formed. This is an inner voice that is always happy to explain to its owner that dancing in public on the school principal’s desk is a dubious idea. That is, as you can see, a critic is a useful thing, and there is no point in getting rid of him, especially since this is precisely impossible. Sometimes, however, he gets carried away, and then it becomes simply unbearable to live “with such a terrible nose,” and all the nasty words of those around him fall into fertile soil. To prevent this from happening, you'll have to come to an agreement with yourself.
- You need to acknowledge the very fact of the existence of an inner critic.
- Realize that we are talking about an ambiguous figure, but one that initially has a positive purpose (are you glad that you never decided to paint yourself purple?).
- Learn to listen to yourself and hear. Often we encounter a critic when we are already in the midst of a conflict, when we are about to shed a tear.
- Try to establish a dialogue. Your goal is to make sure that during conflicts he does not stick his head out, plunging you into the abyss of self-criticism.
- The hardest part: you have to accept that sometimes that inner voice will still drive you to despair.
- Realize that we are talking about an ambiguous figure, but one that initially has a positive purpose (are you glad that you never decided to paint yourself purple?).
How not to quarrel with your family
It’s easy to say: “Learn to negotiate and listen,” right? The good news is that you can feel the critic coming. If during an unpleasant conversation you feel your fingers going numb or your cheeks starting to tingle, you are breaking into a sweat or goosebumps are running down your back, it’s time to move the dialogue into a peaceful direction, or even end it.
How to deal with the problem
It is clear that avoiding conflicts forever will not work. So, having found your critic, move on to negotiations.
- Find support. Even if you think that there is nowhere to get it, this is not true. It is impossible to live and grow in a state of absolute criticism, and therefore there is a very strong part of you sitting inside you, which turns on when you are satisfied with yourself and feel comfortable. Remember this feeling, evoke it more often. Your “And I’m still wow!” or “I can, if I don’t get nervous!” - hooks that, if necessary, you can catch on to, avoiding falling into despair. If everything is sad today, look for a resource on the side. Agree with your friends about a week of unconditional support; Share your successes with those who will definitely appreciate it in order to balance critical words addressed to you with praise.
- Write down 3-5 things that explain why something won't work out for you. Now make a list of reasons why you should still try. Let there be one more point in it.
- Visualize your inner critic: is it he or she, what does it look like? Find out what he is protecting you from. Promise that you will listen to his warnings, but in return ask him to sometimes let you go through all the troubles. Keep records of your achievements and demonstrate them to your strict supervisor. In the end, he will definitely have mercy and begin to believe in your strength. This means that it will become easier for you to resist other people’s criticism, you will feel more confident.
- Write down 3-5 things that explain why something won't work out for you. Now make a list of reasons why you should still try. Let there be one more point in it.
And finally. If, after reading this text, you recognize yourself, but still don’t see any way to get things moving, think about turning to a specialist for help. We're serious.
Pechorin is the main character of the novel by M. Yu. Lermontov. He is a plot-shaping character who holds all parts of the work together. He is a romantic by character and behavior, by nature a person of exceptional abilities, outstanding intelligence, and strong will. He evokes involuntary respect with his unusual courage. It is he who rushes first into the hut where Vulich’s killer hid. He, according to the testimony of Makim Maksimych, went to the wild boar alone. Pechorin is not afraid to die in a duel. The hidden powers and spiritual capabilities of the protagonist are emphasized by his associative connection with the image of a sail, which is important for Lermontov. Pechorin sometimes feels like a sailor, born and raised on the deck of a robber brig, his soul seems to have “merged with storms and battles.”
Pechorin's good aspirations did not develop. His moral character is ugly, and his vital activity is extremely low. In the novel we see a cold, cruel egoist who, in his splendid isolation, sometimes hates people. He plays them like pawns. For the sake of a capricious whim, without thinking for a second, he tore Bela out of her usual environment and thereby ruined her life. And, most likely, death really became a deliverance for the poor girl. Makim Maksimych correctly says that Pechorin did not know what to do with her. He would, of course, “leave her sooner or later.” What would happen to the girl then? She fell in love with Pechorin.
Of course, I condemn Pechorin for offending Maxim Maksimych, a good man who sincerely loves him. At the meeting, Pechorin did not find a single warm word for his old friend.
Thus, communication with Pechorin brings only disappointment, suffering, and unhappiness to everyone around him. He destroyed Vera's family life and grossly insulted the love and dignity of Princess Mary. Even the peace of the “honest smugglers” was disturbed by him for the sake of empty curiosity. Pechorin brings only pain and grief to the other heroes of the novel.
It would seem that neither the suffering nor the joy of others will ever hurt Pechorin’s feelings. But it is not so. For example, at an evening at the Ligovskys’ he felt “sorry for Vera.” During his last date with Mary, there was a moment when he almost fell at the girl’s feet.
The situation with Grushnitsky is also interesting. Pechorin ruined him, And yet, when comparing the main character with Grushnitsky, it is clear that Pechorin is not a scoundrel. Moreover, describing the conversation he overheard, the hero says that if Grushnitsky had not agreed to participate in the conspiracy, he would have “thrown himself on his neck.” However, he agreed, and “poisonous anger” filled Pechorin’s soul. Here they are - the people surrounding the main character of the novel. Firstly, they are sometimes worse than him. Pechorin is at least honest with himself and others, does not cheat his soul, does not hide behind beautiful phrases. Secondly, the smart and honest Pechorin, probably not for the first time in his life, encountered betrayal. Such an environment could not help but embitter him, lead to a lack of faith in friends, in love. Another thing is that Pechorin does not look for the good in people and does not value good people.
I condemn Pechorin for the fact that, having great inclinations by nature, he does not know what to do with his strength and talents, and wastes them on useless matters and empty amusements. However, the position and fate of the “hero of the time” are perceived as tragic. He evokes sympathy for himself simply by the fact that he feels acute dissatisfaction with himself, there is no complacency or narcissism in him. He is not satisfied with either the surrounding reality or the individualism and skepticism characteristic of him. He is constantly tormented by doubts. So, for example, Pechorin tells Maxim Maksimych that he has an “unhappy character”, that he often becomes the cause of the misfortunes of others, but he himself is no less unhappy. He cannot help himself, although he understands that this is a poor consolation for the people who suffered because of him.
In my opinion, Pechorin would like some meaningful activity, but he does not find use for his powers in the circumstances in which he lives. Science was easy for him, but he quickly got tired of it, because he realized that nothing depended on his learning. He could have enjoyed life like people of his circle, he could have wasted money, but he was disgusted with it. Most rich people, both then and now, would be quite happy with Pechorin’s life.
Pechorin is an egoist, of course. He sometimes quite easily “steps over” people, disturbs their peace, breaks their destinies. And for this I condemn him. But Pechorin is not just an egoist. He is an egoist willy-nilly, due to the circumstances that determine his character and actions. This is what makes him sympathetic. In the image of Pechorin, Lermontov sought to show that the state of society determined Pechorin’s skepticism and pessimism. Yes, Pechorin does not take into account his class, he judges society, sometimes without the right to do so, since he himself is cruel to people. But he is dissatisfied with his aimless life, he has not found his ideal. And yet he asks himself the question: “Why am I living?” Pechorin judges himself first of all, he is honest and this is precisely why he arouses sympathy for himself.