I was unsure of myself. What to do if you are not sure about the correctness of the decision? Causes of self-doubt

James Victor is an author, designer, director and director of an independent design school. He also teaches, and every semester he conducts an impromptu survey on student shyness by simply asking them who considers themselves shy. Each time, at least three-quarters of the students raise their hands... although only at shoulder level, not higher. But is this phenomenon typical only for students studying fine arts? What about other professions: accountants, engineers, managers - do they suffer from this? Are we all embarrassed?

: Shyness is not a genetic factor. There is no such gene responsible for timidity. This is what is formed within us under the influence of the environment, family, successful or unsuccessful moments in life. Here is a simple example from the life of James, which is painfully familiar to me personally and probably to many of you:

“As a child, I was very shy. I don't believe I was born this way. But they always introduced me something like this: “And this is our baby. He's a little shy." And I began to feel shy! It became a habit. An authoritative person told me that I was shy, and I began to live with it, as if I had always been like this.”

Unfortunately, as an adult, you realize that this habit gets in the way. Finding yourself in an unfamiliar public place or in front of a camera, you have to pretend to be someone else - as if you are comfortable and calm. Years of practice can help dull the fear, but every time you find yourself in a similar situation, you need to show courage to overcome your shyness.

It turns out that shyness is a banal habit, not a personality characteristic given from birth. Likewise, confidence is one of those ambiguous traits, like willpower or intuition, that can be developed and trained like a muscle. But, like any physical exercise, it is hard and requires constant work. And, more importantly, constant awareness.

This means being, as they say, here and now, remembering your main goal, and not being distracted by extraneous thoughts or delving into your head. Do not listen to the formidable critic within yourself or imagine that others are, judge them or try to predict their reaction. Just move forward and do it confidently!

The lives of many involve an almost daily struggle with shyness. All this time, every time you have to take a big step out of your own comfort zone. This is accompanied by exhausting experiences, constant anxiety and a feeling of deep self-doubt. The inner critic begins to say: “I’m too stupid, ugly, young... Nothing will work out... Everyone will laugh, or they won’t even look...”

Why do we find ourselves immersed in such deep thoughts? What's so bad that could happen to us? We are simply... Most people are so afraid of failure that they prefer not to take risks. Even worse, risk becomes something you try to avoid at all costs. This is how a habit is formed. We deprive ourselves of the opportunity to stop distancing ourselves from people so that they can contact us and respond to our actions.

Fear of rejection is normal. Everyone has periods of self-doubt: for some it’s seconds, for others it’s longer. Fear is a test: it means you must pay close attention to something, gather your willpower and not get confused.

Doubt comes not only from the inner critic, but also from the outside: from friends, family and “well-wishers” who try in every possible way to protect you from danger and keep you in your (or their) comfort zone. Trust yourself, face your own fears, do not give in to the public call to “be like everyone else.”

Your desire for confidence encourages others to confront their fears. Your freedom from fears is a reminder to them of THEIR imaginary restraint and of the limitations that they set for themselves. However, your confidence will be a beacon for others. People are designed this way: they follow those who are strong and self-confident. A confident person is a very strong motivator for others.

The point is not to create armor for yourself in the form of an alternative Super-Ego or awaken an indomitable inner spirit... It is important to be on alert and not let fear rule your life. So that you can perceive yourself as you are, calmly endure fear and doubt. Confidence does not live under the rule of fear and doubt, but perceives them as an integral part of life.

Confidence gives you the courage and freedom to move forward, ask for help, demand more and what you deserve. And most importantly, a self-confident person calmly endures failure if it happens.

Before we dive headfirst into building true self-confidence, let's take a step back and try to understand what confidence is.

Confidence is knowing that what you have will later become what you want and make you happier. This is a necessary condition for an idea to become an action.

Confidence is the ability to believe in yourself when a big deal comes up, raise your hand when an interesting project comes up, or speak at a conference (and without any anxiety!). Confidence is not a 100% guarantee that everything will always work out, but it helps you get out of your comfort zone, expand your boundaries and set a course for success.

Statistics confirm that success has more to do with confidence than competence. So here are five steps to self-confidence.

1. Act confident

As strange as it may sound, to learn to be truly confident, you can first fake confidence. In the wild, some animals pretend to be brave in the face of danger. Pretend too.

Self-hypnosis doesn't work. Our brain analyzes and compares our expectations with our experience and real life situation. If these two aspects do not correspond to each other, the brain goes out of control and you begin to experience stress. Anxiety and negative thoughts appear, due to which all self-confidence disappears. So what should we do?

Better prepare for an exciting situation, rehearse in front of a mirror (pay attention to both the tone of your voice and facial expressions) and look at others positively, enjoy communicating with them. This will give the brain “sufficient reason” to believe that our positive attitude corresponds to a favorable external situation, and confidence will appear on its own.

2. Remember that you expect more from yourself than others expect from you.

The good news is that the whole world will believe what you show. Thank God, no one can read your thoughts or know about your fears and anxiety.

The bad news: you can misinterpret any sideways glance, any random word, any reaction of people to your actions, and then worry about this (thought up by you) issue.

In this case, psychologists recommend listening to your inner voice (don’t get scared ahead of time, no one is going to persuade you to engage in self-hypnosis). Try a little experiment: for one week, write down what thoughts are spinning in your head (exact wording) when you feel a lack of self-confidence.

By simply recording and analyzing your self-talk, you'll be one step closer to reducing and hopefully eliminating these thoughts.

In addition, it is useful to write down and keep on hand a list of your achievements, experiences, events that made you feel important, confident, and understand that your actions are beneficial.

Every time your inner voice gets out of hand, take a three-minute break, pick up a list, and remind yourself how good you can be. Provide your brain with tangible evidence when you need extra reassurance.

3. Monitor your physical condition

I understand that it is a cliché to say that you need to take care of your health, but this cliché did not appear out of nowhere. Have you ever wondered why all successful leaders, without exception, regularly play sports? If you overwork, eat fast food, don't sleep enough, and lead a mostly sedentary lifestyle, it becomes harder to show the world the best version of yourself.

You don't need to train until you drop for several hours a day: a 30-minute walk from work to home or climbing the stairs to the 10th floor can be enough to release endorphins. Start with small changes in your usual lifestyle and gradually get used to them.

Difficulties and, accordingly, stress need to be added to your life in very small portions. It is necessary to trick yourself so that both physical and mental health are in balance.

4. Increase your output, change your internal dialogue

Do you know why most people's communication skills leave much to be desired? Because they are in their own thoughts. Instead of focusing on their interlocutor and demonstrating their affection, they think about how not to blurt out something stupid and what smart thing to say next. The main reason for this behavior: they were poorly prepared.

It's almost impossible to be truly confident if you haven't prepared enough to put your best foot forward. Think about the people you are talking to. What do they really want? What's stopping them? How can you help them?

If you focus on helping your interlocutor, you will get rid of anxiety and receive the same genuine interest in response.

This method is worth using to promote your services or if you want to make an impression at any event.

Take the time to research materials on the topic and your audience. Every hour spent doing this activity will bring a disproportionately large result. And what happens when you get positive feedback? You guessed it - you will gain lasting, genuine self-confidence.

5. Fail fast, fail often.

The dreaded word that paralyzes even great people and prevents them from achieving success is failure. It especially haunts those who are perfectionists by nature and are chronically afraid of doing something wrong.

But failures happen in our lives, it’s simply inevitable. In fact, if you don't make mistakes, it means you're not learning anything new. Remember Ramit Sethi’s saying more often: “It’s not a failure, it’s a test.”

You're just checking that it won't work. And when you know this, you can move on and find ways that will lead to the desired result.

And most importantly: once you come to your senses after another “failure,” you realize that you don’t feel empty. After all, it is these experiences that help you face your fears and achieve your goals in the future.

Lack of self-confidence prevents a person from building social relationships and achieving his life goals, leading to self-dissatisfaction and depression. I offer 10 effective tips , which will help you get rid of self-doubt.

What do you think is the difference between a coward and a hero? Both experience fear, but the hero changes his attitude towards fear and directs his energy towards achieving victory, while the coward suffers or hides in the bushes.

Any events in our life are neutral, and only we make them positive or negative. This should be taken into account if a person wants to get rid of self-doubt.

Causes of self-doubt

The culprits of self-doubt can be various factors: the genetic code of parents, improper upbringing, negative environmental influences, the media.
In the modern world, overflowing with temptations and mass patterns “look how cool I am, do like me,” “if you look like this, you will succeed,” and so on, turns the unique personality of each person into a gray average individual who, instead of expressing his originality and uniqueness, loses self-confidence, focusing on public opinion and comparing himself with others.

Let's consider one of the first factors in the appearance of self-doubt - the genetic code of the parents. It turns out that self-doubt, like some character traits, can not only be acquired over the course of life, but also inherited from parents and grandparents. In other words, when coming into this world, a child whose relatives are not entirely self-confident, inheriting this genetically, tends to grow up to be a less confident person than his peers. However, even with such a seemingly hopeless situation, there is a way out - genetics can be changed by developing confidence and personal strength.

Some, feeling that the source of their insecurity comes from previous generations, begin to be internally offended and condemn their parents, and even worse - blame. However, this idea of life is not entirely fair. It should be understood that each generation is smarter than the previous one. A person comes into life to solve not only his own personal problems and go through the path of his development and self-improvement, but also to solve the problems of his ancestors. And pass on to children a more perfect hereditary code. Therefore, the task of every genetically insecure person is to cultivate self-confidence, which is achieved by love and trust in oneself and in the world.

The second very important factor in the emergence of self-doubt is upbringing in childhood. Some parents, out of good intentions or out of misunderstanding, reprimand their children with phrases that are imprinted in the subconscious for a long time and create self-doubt. How often on the street and in public transport you can see a picture when one of the parents, in a rude and dissatisfied voice, harshly “raises” their curious, naive and world-exploring child - “Leave it”, “You don’t know how”, “Don’t touch”, “I told you”, “Again” you did it,” “Listen”—the list goes on. But this tiny creature with pure intentions already at such a young age shows its individuality and uniqueness, and perceives the world as it is.

The third factor in the list of the emergence of self-doubt is the social environment. The social environment demands submission from a person and breaks his personality, suppresses a person and creates self-doubt. Here it is very important to remain true to yourself, not to succumb to the influence of others, not to be guided by the opinions of others, not to identify yourself with others and to remember that each person is unique and inimitable.

One of the most important factors, in my opinion, is the media. Unfortunately, nowadays people (especially journalists) tend to focus on negative information. A striking example of filling people's thinking with negativity is the news on television: wars, murders, disasters, violence - these are the main topics of the news. And how many people start the day by watching the news, programming themselves with negativity for the whole day and not even knowing it. It is television that creates uncertainty about the future and a feeling of insecurity. If you understand that self-doubt is one of your main and biggest problems, then it is worth making an effort to overcome self-doubt, gain confidence and pass it on to your descendants.

Self-doubt appears primarily due to fear of communication.

Because the person doesn't know how:

express your feelings;
defend your interests;
understand people;
establish contacts;
too tactful, afraid of offending;
too modest.

Failures in communication lead to psychological blocks; a person withdraws into himself, becomes embittered, and is unable to establish contacts and build social relationships. This occurs due to the inability to understand people, the nuances of their speech or emotions. He accumulates resentment, bitterness, despair. Unresolved conflicts or problems go into the subconscious.

To overcome failures in communication and get rid of self-doubt, psychologists advise considering the following::

The more communication, the less uncertainty.
You should focus on the process of communication, rather than on fear or internal reactions.
During a conversation, be focused on the interlocutor, and not on your own thoughts and feelings.

During a conversation you should:

speak clearly and loudly;
look your partner in the eye;
stay free and relaxed;
express your demands, desires and feelings using the word “I”;
do not apologize if you have to ask for something;
do not apologize if you make demands;
thank you for the service provided;
not to be aggressive, not to insult or offend another person;
show respect for the other person's position.

When I was young, I also suffered from self-doubt. I cried when I couldn’t fight back or stand up for myself, I felt timid in a variety of situations, I was afraid of other people’s opinions, condemnations, and people talking about me “behind my back.” And I was constantly given life situations in which I had to learn to show my strength.

There was nowhere to look for advice on how to change yourself. And psychologists and psychoanalysts could only be seen in American films. So I had to think about my problems myself and look for a way out.

Every time I approached the mirror at any time of the day and in any form, I told myself that I loved and respected myself. Looking at my reflection, when I liked myself the most, I tried to fix it in my memory and feel like I was in that state all the time.

I began to respect myself and praise myself for the slightest successes and achievements. I stopped engaging in self-criticism.

Changed my behavior in everyday situations:

She was the first to start a conversation with neighbors, with fellow travelers on public transport during long trips, and in queues.

She asked me to close the window on public transport and give up my seat.

I asked the store clerks to serve me. Even if it was a self-service store and I could find the goods myself. I started talking to them.

I chose expensive jewelry, tried them on for a long time, asked to see others, watching the sellers, and realizing that I was causing their dissatisfaction.

I began to say “no” more often when they asked me for something, and it was clear that they wanted to take advantage of me.

I stopped paying attention to what they said about me.

She entered into conversations in large companies, expressing her opinion on a variety of issues.

This kind of work on myself helped me get rid of self-doubt.

As a result of my search, 10 tips on how to get rid of self-doubt appeared.

1. Love and respect yourself.

2. Constantly feel yourself in your best image, which you yourself have formed.

3. Praise yourself for the slightest achievements and successes.

4.Change your behavior in everyday situations.

5. Communicate more.

6. Don’t focus on possible failures; guilt and self-flagellation do not lead to results.

7. Avoid self-criticism and criticism.

8. Don't compare yourself to the ideal that you created in your imagination.

9. Don't set extremely high demands on yourself.

10. Repeat affirmations.

Know that confident man

highly values his capabilities;
believes that his own strength is enough to achieve any goal;
does not hide his feelings, desires, demands;
knows how to refuse;
find a common language with people;
knows when to start and end a conversation.

Praise yourself for the slightest achievements, if you were able to:

defend your interests in a dispute;
speak calmly and confidently in public;
calmly accept “sideways glances” and discussion of one’s own person;
convince a person during an important conversation;
find the strength to not pay attention to the opinions of people whose opinions you previously perceived as painful.

Take the path of self-improvement, don’t give up on your plans, be persistent.

Love and respect yourself, and people will love and respect you. They feel your energy and what you think about yourself and how you evaluate yourself.

My 10 tips on how to get rid of self-doubt will help you overcome self-doubt, raise your self-esteem and the opinion of people around you.

With wishes for self-confidence, .

I would be grateful if you leave a comment and express your opinion about the article. Share the article 10 tips to get rid of self-doubt on social media. networks!

__________________________________________________________________________________

Leave your comments or additions to the article!

There are a huge number of people who are unsure of themselves. It is this quality that greatly interferes with life and becomes the reason for turning to psychologists.

Almost every woman says the phrase “I’m not sure” at least once in her life. After all, situations happen when the ground is literally cut out from under your feet and you don’t know what to do. However, for some girls, a feeling of insecurity in their own beauty, talent, intelligence, and kindness is the main obstacle to a happy and successful life.

Where does uncertainty come from?

What feelings are hidden behind such a streamlined phrase, how am I unsure of myself?

Fear

There are certain stereotypes in society, the essence of which is that the natural feeling of fear is declared bad and unworthy.

Just remember the notorious: a man should not be afraid... of darkness/heights/responsibility, a woman should not be alone, etc. When a person experiences such fear, he begins to experience psychological discomfort and becomes unsure of himself.

Fear of not living up to someone’s expectations, not meeting the expectations of society, parents

The desire to live according to the principles of “this is how it should be” is laid down in childhood. Not every girl will be able to put aside her own desires and start living her own life. Worrying about what others will say, you begin to acquire all sorts of complexes, including a feeling of insecurity.

Fear of being ridiculed, experiencing a feeling of humiliation

There are many people who are not afraid of getting into a comical situation, and even fewer who are not. However, everyone makes mistakes; they are a way to understand yourself, an opportunity to find other ways to solve problems. It is impossible to learn not to make mistakes and not cause censure from others. After all, mistakes are experience.

What a pity that there is no miracle pill that you can take to gain confidence. However, it is still possible to correct the current situation. The first step to this is to acknowledge the fact of uncertainty and find ways to overcome the problem.

So, whoever once said: “I’m not confident in myself, what to do?” will begin to look for ways to overcome this feeling and will definitely find it!

Learn to live with doubts

Any task, especially if you are doing it for the first time, is accompanied by a feeling of self-doubt. Learn to perceive doubts as an indispensable attribute of any endeavor.

But remember that doubts are just emotions that cannot change objective reality. Learn to live with doubts without submitting to them, create your own life, continue what you started.

Remember your strengths

Sometimes self-confidence leaves even the most confident and successful ladies. At such a moment, remember that doubts and feelings of uncertainty are just a manifestation of your emotional state, companions of a bad mood, and, possibly, poor health.

Statement of your own merits and achievements will help you cheer up in such a situation. There is no need to praise yourself; it is enough to specifically list (you can write the list on a piece of paper) everything that you have achieved and that you are proud of. This simple exercise will help “turn” your consciousness into a positive and creative plane.

How to overcome inhibitions when communicating

Often a feeling of uncertainty overtakes people when communicating with strangers or unfamiliar interlocutors. My tongue literally goes numb, my palms sweat, my cheekbones seem to be cramping, and one thought is beating in my head: what if those around me don’t understand what I’m saying. What if I blurt out something stupid?

In this case, psychologists advise remembering that 95% of people remember and worry only about their own problems. At a subconscious level, a person isolates only what concerns his life. A stranger probably won't even notice your mistake.

Finally, remember that a sense of self-confidence is usually inherent in positive girls who know how to find the good in everything. Become like this, let your life’s leitmotif be the mantra: I’m sure everything will be fine! It shouldn't be any other way! Author: Svetlana Pruss

Self-confidence is not an easy thing. Often, self-confidence depends on the opinions and behavior of others, although the only thing that should matter is what a person thinks about himself. A person controls his own life, so self-confidence is a quality that can be developed.

Steps

The appearance of a confident person

Try to appear like a confident person. If you look like this, sooner or later you will start to feel like a winner. Dress in a way that makes you feel comfortable, not in the way you think confident people dress. Here are some tips:

Spend time on personal hygiene and appearance. Take a shower every day, brush and floss your teeth, and take care of your skin and hair.
Dress like a confident person. You don't need to completely change your wardrobe to feel comfortable in your clothes. Being comfortable and wearing clean clothes will help you exude confidence. Remember that you will look more confident if you like your clothes.
Remember that self-confidence should not be built on appearance. Try walking around in things you don't feel confident in throughout the day, and try to gain confidence from your inner state alone.
After all, you wouldn't take out the trash in an evening dress. If you think you look good, you probably do.

Pay attention to your posture. Posture can say a lot about you to other people, so try to convey to others that you are in control of everything that happens. Straighten your back, pull your shoulders back, don't look at the floor. Your gait should be energetic. Sit with your back straight. If you look like a confident person, others will perceive you as such.

Smile. It's hard to believe, but even a small smile can defuse a difficult situation and help people relax. Scientists have found that smiling can reduce the amount of stress hormones in the body. If a person frowns, no one will want to approach him.
- If you are afraid that your smile will seem insincere, do not try to force yourself. An insincere smile is immediately visible. But if you're truly excited about the person (or the opportunity to practice), don't hold back and smile from your heart.
. This is a small thing, but it can endear you to people. Don't be afraid to meet someone's gaze: this will let others know that you are available to talk to and that you respect the other person, acknowledge their presence, and are interested in the conversation. By not making eye contact, you come across as a rude person who doesn't respect others.

Watch your gestures. If you see a person sitting in the corner pretending to play a game on their smartphone, would you want to walk up to them and say hello? If you want people to be attracted to you, let them know that you need it.

Try not to look away. If you have learned to look people in the eyes, it's time to start practicing. Have you ever thought that other people are just as shy to make eye contact as you are? Try looking into someone's eyes and see who can hold the gaze longer. Most likely, your interlocutor will be the first to look away, which means that he is also not entirely comfortable.
- We do not recommend looking people closely in the eyes. Your goal shouldn't be continuous eye contact that makes people feel awkward or afraid. This exercise helps you realize that other people are also shy to look others in the eyes. If your interlocutor understands what you are doing, simply smile. Now you can relax.
The mindset of a confident person
1. Think about your abilities and positive traits and write them down. No matter how sad you feel, try to praise yourself and remember what you are strong at. Thinking about your strengths will distract you from thinking about what you perceive as weaknesses and strengthen your self-confidence. Think about what you like about your appearance, your relationships, your abilities, and most importantly, your personality.
  - Think about the compliments others give you. Is there something that others have noticed that you haven't? Perhaps someone complimented your smile or your ability to remain calm in difficult situations.
  - Think about your achievements. You can remember both things that others noticed (for example, performing better in a group) and things that only you know about (for example, doing a favor for someone to whom it meant a lot). Think about how much this means. You are well done!
  - Think about the qualities that you would like to develop in yourself. No one is perfect, but if you try to become a good, respectable person, you deserve praise. The fact that you want to work on yourself shows that you are humble and have good intentions, and these are very valuable qualities.
    - Write down all these things and re-read the list every time you feel bad. Add to the list if you remember something else.
2. Think about the barriers to self-confidence. Write down on paper all the things that prevent you from feeling confident in yourself: bad grades, introversion, lack of friends. Now answer a few questions. Are these good reasons? Are these arguments logical? Or maybe these are just your assumptions? The correct answer would be “no” to the first two questions and “yes” to the third. One or two things cannot determine how valuable you are as a person.
  - Let's say you got a bad grade on your last math test, so you're dreading the next test. But if you studied hard, asked your teacher questions, and studied for a test, wouldn't you get a higher score? Of course you will. you failed once, and this case cannot affect the overall picture. There is no reason for you to feel insecure.
3. Remember that self-doubt is familiar to everyone. Some people manage to hide it, but almost everyone has experienced this feeling. You are not alone! If you know a person who is confident in himself, know that, most likely, he also has situations when he doubts his abilities. Self-confidence is never absolute.
  - Many people are so busy thinking about the impression they make that they simply don't have time to think about anyone else. You've probably noticed with what pleasure people love to discuss something insignificant. The attention of 99% of people is directed inward. You can breathe a sigh of relief and accept the fact that you don’t have to do everything perfectly all the time.
  - Stop comparing yourself to others. Life is not a competition. If you try to be ahead of others all the time, you will only get tired faster. You didn't have to be the smartest, handsomest or most popular person to be happy. If you cannot get rid of the competitiveness in your character, direct it to work on yourself. Try all the time to be better than your past self.
4. Treat self-confidence as a process, not as a goal to be achieved. Confidence is not a finish line, and you won't always move forward—sometimes you'll feel like you're back at square one. Take a deep breath, remember the obstacles you have already overcome, and promise yourself not to give up. In the most difficult times, it is important to praise yourself, even if you have not done anything new.
  - It is unlikely that one day you will wake up and realize that you have become a confident person. Have you ever suddenly realized that you are smart, interesting, talented or punctual? Most likely no. If you don't see immediate changes, it means you're already there. Look at yourself from the outside.
5. Remember that you have self-confidence from birth. When you were first born, you didn't think about who heard you cry or what you looked like. You simply existed. Society has pointed the finger at you and made you feel the need to meet certain criteria. But this feeling is acquired, which means that you can get rid of it.
  - Try to find your innate self-confidence. It is in you, it’s just hidden under the compliments, threats and assessments that accumulate in every person over the years. Exclude everyone from your picture of the world. They don't matter. Your self is beautiful. Your “I” exists outside the value judgments of other people.
6. Try not to get caught up in your thoughts. Self-doubt has nothing to do with the outside world, which means that you need to be distracted from your thoughts more often. If you find yourself having an internal dialogue again, stop. The world revolves around you - start rotating with it. Only the present moment is important. Do you want to be part of this moment?
  - Most events take place in the external world (assuming that reality is what it seems). Constantly thinking about how you feel and how you look makes it difficult to live in the present. Try to think less about the past or future. Think about what is in front of you now. Surely there is something interesting there.
Behavior of a confident person
1. Do what interests you. If you've always wanted to try a sport or discover a new hobby, go for it! Working on your skills will make you realize that you are talented, and this will strengthen your belief in your abilities. Master a musical instrument, start learning a foreign language, sign up for a painting course, start doing some project. Do what really interests you.
  - Don't be discouraged if you don't do well right away. Remember that any activity is a process. It's important to appreciate the small victories and use this time as an opportunity to relax rather than strive to be the best.
  - Come up with a hobby that you can do in a group. Communicating with like-minded people will allow you to make new friends and strengthen your self-confidence. Find something interesting to do in your city and meet people who like the same things as you.
2. Talk to strangers. Self-confidence is not just a state. It's also a habit. This applies to all people. To build self-confidence, you need to train. One way is to start conversations with strangers. It will be scary at first, but with each new conversation your self-confidence will grow.
3. Don't apologize more often than circumstances require. Asking for forgiveness is a good character trait (and many people find it difficult to do). However, you should not apologize when it is not necessary. If you have offended someone, asking for forgiveness is being polite. But if you apologize when you have done nothing wrong, you will feel that you are inferior in status and that you must be awkward. Before you ask for forgiveness, consider whether the situation requires an apology.
  - Use different phrases. You can express regret without resorting to an apology. For example, if you are afraid that you have disturbed someone, say this: “I hope I didn’t bother you too much.”
  - Excessive apologizing makes a person feel insecure. There is no point in this because no one can be more valuable to you than yourself. Why apologize if you haven't done anything wrong? Do you really feel guilty? When a person constantly asks for forgiveness, his words lose value. If you apologize for any reason, you stop putting meaning into your words. Treat words of apology as saying “I love you.” They should only be said on special occasions.
4. Accept compliments with gratitude. Don't roll your eyes or shrug your shoulders - you deserve the praise! Look the person in the eye, smile and say thank you. Being grateful for praise doesn't mean you forget about humility. On the contrary: it shows that you are a polite person and confident in your worth.
  - Give return compliments. If you can't get used to compliments, try returning compliments to compliments. You will feel better knowing that you have compensated for the praise, and you will not seem selfish to others.
5. Build your self-confidence by helping others. Praise someone or do a good deed. You'll make someone's day better, which will make you feel better too. If you become a source of positivity, people will be drawn to interact with you, and everyone will feel better for it.
  - Many people feel embarrassed when they are praised. But if you give someone a compliment, there is a high chance that person will praise you back. But praise the person sincerely, otherwise you may receive a harsh response.
6. First, take a deep breath. When a person breathes quickly and shallowly, the body prepares to either flee from danger or fight (the fight-or-flight response). Stop and you will quickly feel better. Fortunately, everything is simple.
7. Try to consciously slow down what you are doing. Remember how you felt when you were a child and ate too much sweets - you started to fuss. Your behavior should correspond to your breathing. Great, now you are calm.
Expect success. Many things happen in life simply because a person really wants something. When we think we will fail, we stop trying. When we feel like we're not good enough, we often don't behave well enough. If you expect success, you are more likely to get what you want. Pessimism interferes with your abilities.
- You may feel like you can't predict the future and that expecting success is illogical. Yes, but if you expect to fail, why not expect to succeed? Both can happen, but one is more likely to happen.
- Focus on what you want, not what you don't want.
Take risks. Sometimes risk is the only way to get ahead. To succeed, you need to put yourself in situations that allow you to learn something new. It is impossible to master something instantly. If you keep doing what you are doing, you will never learn to do anything better. It's important to take risks to grow.
- Failures are inevitable. They are possible, but they don't matter. The only thing that matters is your ability to return to your activity even after failures. Everyone has mistakes, but not everyone finds the strength to continue. It is overcoming difficulties that strengthens self-confidence, but to do this you must first face failure.
- Try to get out of your comfort zone to learn something new and become more confident.

Only you know yourself. Love yourself and people will be drawn to you.
Be grateful for what you have. Often self-doubt becomes a consequence of a lack of something: recognition, luck, money. If you appreciate what you have, it will be easier for you to overcome insecurity and dissatisfaction. Inner peace will increase self-confidence.
Imagine yourself in different situations where you could show self-confidence, wit, and leadership qualities. If you even just imagine yourself as you would like to be, self-confidence will no longer seem like an unattainable quality. You will believe that you are capable of becoming more confident.
Live every day as if it were your last day. Nobody knows how much time is ahead. Who cares what people think as long as you think positive thoughts and feel good about yourself?
As you pass by the mirror, mentally compliment yourself. Do this until you begin to consider the compliments to be valid.
First thing in the morning, look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you have already accomplished a lot and that you will not let anyone or anything stop you.
Try not to slouch - poor posture can make a person look distant and insecure. Slouching also indicates vulnerability. The person seems unfriendly and unhappy, but you want to make a completely different impression.
Don't be afraid of other people's judgment. This may be holding you back from moving forward, so just do what makes you happy.
Talk to people you don't know. This will help you to contact the outside world more often.
It doesn't matter what other people think about you. Do what you want to do and confidence will come on its own. Don't pay attention to gossip. Know that you have been given this life because you can live it.
Treat yourself the way you would like others to treat you. Having a positive attitude towards yourself is beneficial because others will treat you the same way.