Dejection is a passion that is familiar to everyone. It manifests itself in different ways, often hiding behind some decent appearance and therefore it can be difficult to distinguish. But you need to be able to distinguish it, because this passion is insidious and very dangerous. She, as she says, is all-conquering death. What is despondency?
Dejection is a mortal sin!
It manifests itself in two forms - sometimes as unbearable boredom, melancholy, and sometimes as laziness and indifference to spiritual pursuits. In the latter case, a person may not have a sad appearance at all; on the contrary, he can have fun, joke and treat everything with some kind of liveliness. Everything - except reading the Holy Scriptures, prayer and other spiritual activities.
People who are not believers, due to the emptiness in their souls, are often in a state of extreme despondency. I think that most cases of the so-called are precisely despondency in the extreme. I will tell you such an incident from my youth. One person I knew closely whose father committed suicide. And this young man fell into a state of depression - to such an extent that for weeks he lay with his face to the wall, and he did not need anything. His mother was an unbeliever, had a secondary pedagogical education, and therefore believed that she knew everything. And she drove him even further with her moralizing. It ended up that their neighbor, a believing grandmother, took pity on this guy and persuaded him to go to church. He started going to church.
Jesus Prayer
He understood little, observed little, but walked from time to time. He immediately felt much better. Then he became acquainted with our company, became involved in it, and since we tried to lead a Christian life and more or less strictly observe fasts, he, too, began to behave the same way. He felt even better. Then, when we told him about how to deal with passions and in particular with despondency, he began to look after his soul, pray and completely gave up all kinds of medicine, and became a normal person. True, he had to lie to the doctors. They asked him: “Well, how?”, he said: “Nothing.” “Are you taking medicine?” - “I drink, it helps a lot.” If he had said that he didn’t drink, they might have forcibly put him in the hospital - that was the time. But in reality he didn’t take anything. Here is an example of the fact that depression is simply a person’s state of mind, despondency from the fact that there is no God in the soul.
Doesn't a believer feel despondent?
This condition is typical for many people. Moreover, we see around us people who are not only despondent, but in the deepest despair. One famous ascetic of our time said that modern unbelief is a consequence of despair, all of humanity has fallen into despair. That is, people feel such hopelessness, they are so desperate for their salvation that they already deny the existence of God in order to be able to live in peace. But this only intensifies the melancholy, and the person tries to drown it out with something. For example, he starts drinking and tries in this rude way to find some kind of peace of mind. A more sophisticated way to drown out inner melancholy is a person’s desire to enjoy works of art, to some kind of abstract activity.
But, of course, it would be wrong to say that a believer does not experience despondency. It happens, and very often. Now I will not talk about despondency as a heavy battle brought on by demons, but I will talk about the type of despondency that occurs most often - laziness. This is what St. Gregory of Sinaite calls despondency. When he lists the main passions, instead of the word “despondency” he says ““. This is the same laziness, only in relation to spiritual and moral subjects. I don’t want to go to church, I don’t want to pray, read the Holy Scriptures and generally work on my soul. Why?
Cleanse the soul
Because we see how many passions there are in our soul and how much needs to be done to cleanse it. As happens in life: you come, see that you need to chop a huge pile of firewood, and you immediately think: “Come on! Maybe somehow we’ll endure it, we’ll freeze, we’ll wrap ourselves in a sheepskin coat, we’ll cover ourselves with a blanket...” There is such a good example in Otechnik. The father sent his son to cultivate the field. He came, saw that it was all overgrown with weeds, became depressed and went to bed; then he got up, looked at the field and went back to sleep. He did this for several days. When his father came and asked why he had not done anything yet, he replied that he was depressed because there was a lot of work, and that’s why he was sleeping. Then his father told him that if every day he cleared at least the same area as he occupies during sleep, then the matter would have already progressed. The son got to work and, with God’s help, gradually cleaned everything up.
This is familiar to everyone. When there is a lot of work, a person gets scared, gives up and begins to think that “you still can’t do all the work.” This quality of ours, which manifests itself in ordinary human affairs and activities, makes itself felt in spiritual life. Something is not given to us - and we immediately say: “I can’t immediately pray like Elijah the prophet, through whose prayer it began to rain, then I won’t do it at all.” Or: “I’ve been asceticizing for three whole days, but I still don’t have unceasing prayer - what is it?” Or: “I’ve been going to church every Sunday for three years now, but I still don’t have dispassion - how can that be?”
An excuse for despondency
It seems to us that there is an excuse for our despondency: “I can’t do it.” But this is really just an excuse. After all, if a person has failures in some everyday affairs, then what does he do? He wanted to go to college, but was not prepared and could not pass, for example, chemistry. What does he start doing if he still wants to study at this institute? He hires tutors, prepares carefully, and teaches chemistry. The following year he manages to pass the exam - and he enters the institute. Nobody is surprised by this. Everything is fine. It is the same in spiritual life: when a person wants to acquire any virtue and for some reason fails, he must also draw a conclusion about why this happened and in what respect he needs to improve.
Let's say he does everything right, but gives in to pride. Therefore, he needs to pay attention to fighting it. Or: he does everything right, but does not have sufficient zeal for prayer, he prays absent-mindedly. This means that he needs to force himself to pray. But we don’t want to make such simple, elementary conclusions that in an ordinary situation we would make without any outside prompting. And we begin to become discouraged instead of starting to work. It didn’t work the first time, it will work the second, the third, but it will definitely work. Even this very struggle, the very forcing of oneself to correct oneself in one way or another already brings grace to a person’s soul.
A trick to combating depression
How to deal with despondency? This can be done in different ways. For some, even eating tasty food helps at times. But if you fight only in this way and don’t use anything else, then there may not be despondency, but everything else will be there. The Monk John Climacus sometimes advises using this trick in the fight against anger. He says: “When you are overcome by anger, you can give some small comfort to your belly.” But it’s good if it’s small, otherwise sometimes a person will be so comforted - to the point of self-forgetfulness! Of course, this is unreasonable. It is permissible to use another trick: make a joke. A priest can make a joke at the right time and with an innocent joke put a person in a cheerful mood. Even if it is not spiritual joy, it is still better than despondency. But this, again, is a trick - a small one that does not fundamentally solve the issue.
The best remedy for depression
And if we approach the problem seriously, then, of course, the best remedy for despondency is prayer, especially the Jesus Prayer. In addition, during times of despondency, you must try your best to do everything as usual, that is, do not give up your usual activities, do not abandon the prayer rule, force yourself to pray intensely, with attention. Mortal memory also helps a lot in this battle. It seems strange: a person remembers death - and his despondency goes away. On the contrary, one should be despondent. However, it is not.
It is the memory of death, of the future life that sobers a person. When he begins to think about eternity, he realizes that against this background all earthly sorrows are insignificant - not only minor, but also serious: a serious battle with one or another type of sin or a dangerous illness, one’s own or those of loved ones. Thanks to mortal memory, everything appears in a different way, namely, in its true light. A person becomes sober and understands that in reality everything that brings him into a state of despondency and disarms him is a mirage and that there is no need to attach importance to all of this.
The main thing in the fight against despondency is self-force
If we don’t force ourselves, then no advice, no miraculous power or supernatural help from above will help us. We must understand that we are free beings and much depends on our own choices. The Lord is always ready to help us, we can say that He has already rushed to our aid, but we neglect this help. We do not notice it because we plunge into the darkness of despondency to such an extent that we do not want to respond even a little to this Divine action that strengthens us in the struggle. It happens that a person will not even do anything, but will simply endure despondency and will not leave his usual work or attend divine services - and the grace of God immediately comforts his heart, he feels that the Lord is with him.
The opposite of laziness, as you know, is hard work. So you need to acquire spiritual diligence. Labor is, as they say, difficult. We may not want to do something, but we know that it is necessary, and we do it, overcoming fatigue and sometimes pain. Work is caused by necessity - we do not do everything only with pleasure - and for the most part it brings comfort only when we have already completed the work and see its result. Even when we start something with pleasure, we still inevitably encounter difficulties and the desire to quit it arises. But imagine, a surgeon is performing an operation, but it’s been delayed for some reason, it’s been going on for three whole hours, and he throws the scalpel: “Let someone else stitch it up, but I’m tired of standing here, already sweating.” What will happen then?
Laziness in the human soul
Laziness in any everyday matter is, of course, bad for a person’s soul, but laziness in a spiritual sense is much worse. If the Lord may yet condescend to someone who is lazy in work and have mercy on him, then for someone who is lazy in prayer, struggling with thoughts and passions, there is no longer any way out. You should not think that the struggle for your salvation is such an easy and simple thing that there should be no obstacles in it. The Kingdom of Heaven is in need. This compulsion is necessary throughout your life, and not so that now you understand everything, work for three days, and then you get tired of it: they say, everything is fine. A person develops and, having changed for the better in some ways, must again and again force himself to achieve greater virtues. So he steadily moves towards eternal life, sometimes achieving the most sublime spiritual results, the most beautiful and, as it seemed to him before, difficult to achieve virtues.
Question answer:
Question
- Father, I can’t seem to improve myself, and this makes me very sad. It seems impossible not to be discouraged. After all, it is obvious to both myself and others that I remain as passionate as before. This makes me want to cry. How not to give in to despondency, and in general, how to deal with the fact that you want to cry?
Statistics show that in winter people most often become despondent, apathetic and depressed. Loses joy in life, thinks about bad things. How get rid of despondency and easily transition from winter to spring?
It is known that everything has its time. So there is a time to be cleansed, and there is a time to be filled. Autumn and winter are a time of cleansing. And spring and summer are the time of filling.
That is why in winter we often feel sad and want the sun, but in spring and summer it is so easy and joyful for us to live.
Winter is the period when the goddess Mara reigns, who sends us many mental tests, spiritual and physical. Having worthily passed all the tests of the winter goddess, a person is purified.
Cleansing and renewing is like peeling off old skin. Remember how they talked about this in fairy tales? First you need to go through certain obstacles, take the necessary actions, and then you will be happy.
And Ivan Tsarevich went through his trials in order to find his beloved, and the Frog Princess baked, sewed and danced in order to find her feminine happiness.
Therefore, if a person has not started cleansing in time in the fall, then in the winter “illness,” that is, the blues, will certainly cover him headlong.
If a person has worked well mentally, has let go of all worries and grudges, has built his tasks and goals for the next year, then a moment of happiness comes in his life. spring renewal and joy reside in his soul.
Who is to blame, or what to do?
It’s good for those, you say, dear readers, who know the laws of nature and live according to these laws. Like, to cleanse yourself in winter...
What if it’s already caught? If the dragonfly sang red all summer, and then winter came? If such an unearthly melancholy has attacked you that you don’t want to do anything, and the good light is not nice, things are not a joy, and your desires have completely disappeared somewhere! What to do in this case?
The answer is simple actually. You can, of course, close yourself within four walls, remain inactive, feel sorry for yourself, and slowly but surely, I would say, move with snail’s steps towards the end of such an unhappy and unhappy life.
And then be reborn and... hey! Our song is good, start over!
And, as you, dear readers, have already understood, it’s fun again to walk the same path in life with unfinished, and often aggravated, tasks from a past life, and it’s all fun, or again not fun, to unravel.
And there is another option. Just understand that you can’t escape your life programs. You will still have to solve your problems. Not in this life, but in the next. Therefore, it is better to quickly resolve everything, in youth language, stop moping and continue to live in good health and excellent spirits.
Jokes aside. But in fact, when a person becomes despondent, when he constantly wants to cry and his soul is torn from pain and suffering, when his whole insides screams “I can’t do this anymore,” a person really has very little strength left to cope on his own.
At such moments, it is important and vital to tell your family and friends about What do you feel, What are you thinking about. And ask them for help.
If you still see a small, even tiny, straw ahead of you that you can grab onto and heal from despondency and depression, then gather all your will into a fist and... grab it decisively!
How to get rid of despondency. 11 ways to wake up
Before listing the list of saving “straws” for getting rid of despondency, I want to say the following.
However, it would be more effective to gradually add the next one to one perfect action, and then the next one. Until you start to invent for yourself OWN ways to get rid of despondency.
It will also be important to note that depression, apathy, despondency, melancholy, reluctance to do anything, reluctance to live - all these are signs of spiritual illness.
This is a sure sign that you don’t have life goals, you don’t know where to move next. Life is “like a fog.” Or you don’t live your life, you don’t achieve your goals, but those imposed on you, you don’t want your own desires.
Give yourself time to think: what is my meaning in life, why do I live, what, in my opinion, is my purpose.
If you want, you can use the help of your family, ask them about your talents and skills. They will contain the answer to why you were born and what tools you have to fulfill your destiny.
Look for reasons why you live. Seek and find.
May the force be with you in this endeavor. And generally speaking.
Let's summarize
So, dear readers.
As you can see, there are enough ways to get rid of despondency. To tell the truth, the most difficult thing in this work is to force yourself to overcome “weakness” and powerlessness and do something. But anything is possible.
The most important, if you feel that you are falling into despondency, you should not give in to this feeling. Drive him away before it's too late.
Getting out of a deep ditch is more difficult than getting out of a small hole or, walking and catching on a bump, to stay on track.
Come up with your own ways getting rid of despondency, apathy and depression. By the way, you can assign yourself awards for the work done and give out prizes. Agree on this with your imagination.
Remember, if you have at least one ray of hope that everything will be fine, if you have even a drop of desire to smile and feel happiness in your chest again, if your soul is happy for even a second with the light of day or a kind word, then all is not lost!
Cling tighter and more confidently to the straw that life hands you. Grab and hold on.
Look, the straw will miraculously turn into a strong stick, the stick then into a strong pole, and then you will completely get out of the swamp onto the shore and joyfully run through the expanses of life.
Then the long-awaited spring update will come!
Every day, take confident steps towards your joy, overcome sadness and melancholy, perform the most incredible actions for you - the main thing is that you again feel like a happy person who wants to live, create and enjoy life!
With love to you, dear readers!
PS: And at the end of this story, I want to give you Alla Pugacheva’s composition “Hold me, straw”.
Alla Pugacheva “Hold me, straw.” Listen
P.P.S.: What methods of filling you with joy do you use? Write in the comments, please. It is very interesting to me!
CLEANSING THE SOUL
Do you want to learn practical ways to cleanse yourself from despondency, depression, and fears?
Find out:
✔ How to get rid of illnesses or bad mental states.
✔ Various methods and methods of baptism.
✔ Get rid of negative programs.
Course "CORRECTION OF THE CURVATION OF THE SOUL"This is what you need!
Why is despondency considered a mortal sin in Christianity, although formally a person does not do anything bad to others? What priests and psychologists say about this, and how best to deal with this condition
Dejection in Christianity is considered the seventh deadly sin, and this causes genuine surprise among many believers. In the usual view, sin is causing harm to another person, for example, theft, murder, envy, betrayal. In the case of despondency, the situation is more complicated: the person does not cause any inconvenience to anyone, and suffers alone. Why is this condition considered sinful, what does psychology say about it, and how can you get rid of it?
Dejection is natural, so why is it a sin?
At any period of life, completely different people may experience irresistible melancholy, which gradually develops into despondency. This is completely natural, especially if you have to deal with traumatic situations. This could be the loss of a job, separation from loved ones, difficulty in achieving your goals. Why is despondency considered a sin? According to the holy fathers and theologians, this condition affects a certain type of people who are “sick” with another sin - pride. In a state of pride, a person believes that other people and circumstances are to blame for his problems and sorrows. It begins to seem to him that everything is going awry, and there is no way out of such situations. At the same time, he does not try to find the reason for failures in himself or his behavior. The danger, according to the priests, is that a person does not want to accept God’s will for what is happening and gradually turns away from it, becoming more and more mired in pride. In the end, a person, driven to despair by his own joyless thoughts, can commit another grave sin - suicide, which will forever close the sinner's path to Paradise.Dejection of the soul: psychology of the condition
What does psychology think about despondency of the soul? This condition is considered a harbinger of depression, and occurs as a result of unresolved internal conflicts or prolonged stress.
Internal conflicts are when expectations do not match reality. People with a melancholic character are susceptible to this, and the slightest trouble unsettles them for a long time. And if such events happen constantly, a person becomes despondent and stops trying to somehow influence the events taking place.
A person stops enjoying what recently made him happy, loses his life guidelines, and what is happening seems to him joyless and meaningless. Gradually, a once full life turns into a dull existence, when nothing pleases or encourages action. People very rarely come for a consultation with a psychologist, and only then when the patient may need the help of a psychotherapist to resolve the situation.
Can despondency be equated with boredom?
The question often arises: are despondency and boredom the same thing? Not really. Boredom is the first “step” to sliding into despondency, when a person begins to stop receiving satisfaction from his life. This condition, if detected early, can be corrected. To work on yourself more successfully, you can consult with a psychologist who will tell you the “sore spots” and help you correct them.In the case of despondency, work with a specialist will be long; in case of prolonged depression, it may be necessary to take antidepressants.
The cure for despondency - methods of salvation
The cures for despondency will be different for psychologists and priests.
Advice from psychologists:
- You should accept the fact that you will have to fight despondency on your own; with passive behavior, it will not go away, but will only intensify. Volitional coercion is extremely important here; without this it is impossible to get rid of this condition
- You can remember what hobbies and activities brought you joy before, and start doing them again, even if you don’t feel like it.
- Find joyful moments in the past, and also focus on the positive in the present.
- If a person feels that it is difficult for him to cope on his own, he should consult a psychologist. It will help you look at the situation from the outside, find “pain points” and make corrections
- In some cases, depression is not a psychological, but a physiological problem. This may occur due to disturbances in the functioning of the endocrine system, or, along with other symptoms, may be a harbinger of various diseases. Therefore, it would be useful to undergo a medical examination to identify possible hidden pathologies.
- Spend more time in nature, consume fresh vegetables and fruits to eliminate vitamin deficiency
- Exercising also helps increase serotonin, the “happy hormone,” and will help fight depression.
- Aromatherapy and massage are auxiliary means that have a beneficial effect on the state of mind
- Communicate with dear and loved ones so as not to feel loneliness and feel important to others
Important! It is worth mentioning that this way of getting rid of despondency is much more complex than the advice of psychologists, but ultimately much more effective.
Prayer for despondency and despair - just to be sure
In the fight against the sin of despondency and despair, prayer to such saints as Nicholas the Pleasant, the Mother of God, John of Kronstadt, and the Great Martyr Barbara will help.
In order for the prayer to bring peace to the soul, the following points should be taken into account:
- You need to pray in a quiet, secluded place, where nothing will distract your attention or interfere
- The text of the prayer should be read slowly and thoughtfully in order to understand every word
- You can pronounce words both out loud and silently
How to deal with despondency: video
Below you can watch a video that talks about how to better and more effectively deal with despondency:St.
Forms of manifestation of despondency:
1) indifference to prayer, temple services;
2) negligence in obedience;
3) (within the framework of monasticism, monasticism) cooling towards the ascetic life until complete disappointment and the desire to leave the monastery;
4) weakening of zeal for faith.
From the experience of the life of the Church it is known that quite persistent, zealous Christians can be subject to despondency. With this in mind, the Apostle Paul, turning to his fellow believers, deliberately drew their attention so that, looking at his sorrows, they would not lose heart ().
Consequences:
Even by the standards of mundane, everyday life, despondency is recognized as a rather dangerous psychological state.
Dejection can contribute to rapid fatigue, dissipation of memory and attention, loss of interest in pressing problems, professional and family responsibilities. It often serves as a factor provoking depression or, worse, suicidal tendencies.
A fairly common accompaniment of despondency is the desire to drown sadness in a glass, pour alcohol into the melancholy, get distracted, lose yourself in entertainment venues. However, such a folk remedy “helps” only for a short time. In some cases, this leads to long-term drinking bouts. Drunkenness in itself is already destructive for both spiritual and physical health, and despondency accompanied by passion often leads to a much more disastrous result: emotional burnout, personality degradation, conflicts, etc.
Within the framework of religious activity, despondency prevents the proper performance of Christian work. During private prayer or temple prayer, it interferes with internal concentration, promotes wandering and dispersion; in more acute forms, despondency can develop into and even completely distract a person from.
Fighting methods:
Methods of combating despondency can rely on both psychological and ascetic means.
As psychological means it is recommended: not to give up; load yourself, to the best of your ability, with useful work (including what you like, what you love); try to adhere to the daily routine, routine; do not withdraw into yourself, do not distance yourself from communication with loved ones; do not get hung up on the subject of sadness, try to distract yourself from depressing, gloomy thoughts through useful and interesting activities (reading, physical education, walks in the fresh air); avoid malicious advisers-parasites, etc.
The most important Christian (ascetic) means of overcoming despondency is prayer (even if it is carried out through effort, through “I don’t want”). In the Gospel, prayer is directly opposed to this sin: “one must always pray and not lose heart” (). In addition, despondency, like any other, requires. If possible, you should try to go to church, participate in public prayers, in the Sacraments of the Church, and ask your neighbors for prayerful remembrance.
Archpriest Valerian Krechetov:
– How to deal with despondency if you don’t even have the strength to pray?
- Well, what do you mean you don’t have the strength to pray? Is it impossible to say “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner”? Quite possible. Or: “God, be merciful to me, a sinner.” And this is possible. Well, if you fall asleep, sleep. When you wake up, pray again. Why be sad? Everything goes here. Remember the ring of Solomon: “Everything passes, this too will pass.” Every moment – we’re talking now – and it’s already passing. And so all life. Therefore, it is not worth torturing yourself with what is already passing. It's absolutely crazy what happened. And even more so for what has not yet arrived. This doesn’t exist yet, so why suffer?
Dejection is a state of mental and physical parameters that belongs to the asthenic pole of human self-perception, which is characterized by the presence of an apathetic mood and depression. Complete despondency is characterized by an unwillingness to do anything and a lack of any interest in one’s own situation and life, is accompanied by a strong loss of strength, and is a concomitant element of depressive disorder in the affective sphere.
Being close in its meaning and feeling of grief, melancholy, melancholy, despondency is not synonymous with them and reflects greater indifference to what is happening. During grief, a person feels pain and loss, the importance of who (or what) he is grieving for; with melancholy, the emotional sphere is captured by sadness, while with despondency, practically nothing touches the human soul. Such an apathetic and insensitive state can lead to the development of diseases of the psychoneurological spectrum, cause suicidal thoughts and attempts, in the hope of ending a meaningless existence or in the hope of feeling something. Dejection is also difficult to experience because a person does not forget how he previously perceived the world, i.e. he remembers his joy and delight, pain and sadness, how his eyes burned and how the world played with colors, but now he sees only grayness, and feels only emptiness.
What is despondency
This state is characterized by a loss of the sense of time, when there are no prospects for the future and the emotional moments of the past are gradually erased, each one becomes insanely similar to the previous one - among such monotony, not only all hope or passion is lost, but also a person’s ideas about himself.
A special place is given to the state of despondency in religion, where it is even ranked among the mortal sins. It is worth noting separately that the state of despondency characterizes not only an individual, but can be used in relation to a certain social group or an entire state (this state is caused by the lack of competent leadership, distant and ambitious goals in the future, as well as the presence of leaders who do not have strong charisma and intrapersonal strength).
When falling into despondency, a person chooses how to deal with it independently - some convert to faith, some go to psychologists, and some independently pull themselves out of the destructive swamp of indifference, literally by the hair. But a way out of such a state is not always provided; some remain in it for years or end their life’s journey in despondency.
Complete despondency sets in if you ignore the causes and give up trying to get out of the grayness, but how to start getting out depends on what causes the condition.
Dejection is a rather dangerous state of decline, in which not only the mental sphere suffers, but painful sensations can manifest themselves at the somatic level. falls, the importance of the surrounding world, relationships and processes tends to zero, sleep disturbances are observed, passivity increases, the desire for loneliness becomes theoretically acceptable, and sometimes practically desirable, as a way to stop the gray swamp red tape, just like psychostimulants and hallucinogens, designed at least somehow diversify life and pump up the sensory sphere. Similar symptoms manifest themselves in people in a state of sadness, acute grief and sadness, but if its duration goes beyond a week, and the degree of manifestation of these aspects increases, then you need to go to friends or a specialist.
If you observe a similar condition in your loved ones, and they refuse to admit the presence of problems, refuse to change anything, then we can talk about the need for therapeutic intervention - go for a consultation with a psychiatrist or psychotherapist with a medical license so that they can tell you how to prevent the progression of despondency may require hospitalization. Like any emotional state, despondency has varying degrees of severity; how to deal with them depends on the duration and reasons favoring the development of the apathetic state.
The most serious are force majeure circumstances beyond human control (wars, disasters, natural disasters, illnesses and deaths of groups of people and individual members). Such circumstances greatly undermine a person’s usual supports, unsettle him and serve as a development for many negative emotional experiences, but it is worth noting that, being the most destructive to the human psyche, they are the least common triggers of despondency.
Much more often, the cause of this condition is significant relationships and the negative aspects that occur in them - divorces and insults, resentments, inattention and other destructive aspects of human relationships. It is they, being part of significant relationships, that most often manifest themselves, in contrast to fires and wars. Expecting caring and grateful attitude from loved ones constantly confronts a person with a discrepancy with reality (this is normal, since we all show both strengths and weaknesses), the question remains how a person copes with such incidents, how much one accepts the weaknesses of others and allows life to flow in its own way.
And if in some cases the influence of surrounding people really objectively influences a person, then changing relationships or social circles can improve the emotional background; the situation is much more complicated if people have nothing to do with it and are only objects of the internal projections of the sufferer. You can drive yourself into despondency under physiological conditions (illness, physical exhaustion, prolonged lack of sleep), as well as under a certain psychological make-up based on an inadequate perception of the outside world. The perception of the world shifts when passing age milestones and crises, when old life and social roles change (marriage, moving, new position) and a person’s inability to quickly adapt to changed conditions.
With increased demands and expectations from others, the person waiting ultimately suffers, noticing the uselessness and futility of getting what he wants from the outside world, instead of reorienting himself to achieving it on his own. In principle, frustration of any significant needs leads either to a surge in achievement motivation, or to resentment, internal closeness and despondency to experience disappointment. This is a mechanism that protects the psyche from encountering experiences that currently exceed its resources, but being in constant despondency can become more dangerous and lead to a chronic state of desensitization.
How to get rid of despondency
Dejection can be compared to an extinguished inner fire, when a person not only does not see where to move, but also does not understand why to look for this path. Being passionate about some idea or activity will help you get out of this state, but you shouldn’t demand that you take a keen interest in everything that’s happening—it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to jump out instantly. You should give time during which you can simply look closely at various trends and genres, you can come to the sections and be a motionless, mute spectator, you can walk the streets, looking for something that can emotionally hook you. Being surrounded by people full of excitement and hope, aspirations and positive outlooks, whose energy can move mountains, has a positive effect on getting rid of despondency.
The human psyche is structured using mirror neurons, and moods and attitudes to life are transmitted through direct contact with a person. This statement is true in relation to any states and emotions, so even if you are a desperate cheerful person, surrounding yourself with depressive whiners, you risk losing your passion very quickly. Be aware of who you communicate with and what activity is happening around you. If you are despondent, then consciously, controlling the process (after all, interest, like the leading system, is temporarily disabled) choose everything that is as opposite to despondency as possible.
It is believed that the opposite of despondency is cheerfulness, but this is a rather crude and superficial view, since it reflects only one aspect of the concept. If you look deeper, the opposite of despondency is inspiration or creativity. While despondency represents emptiness, dullness, disinterest and inaction, inspiration includes creation, fullness, active activity, if not physical, then mental. It is the loss of connection with one’s creative component that causes the loss of the taste of life, and accordingly it is necessary to overcome the illness by returning creativity to one’s life. There is no need to paint pictures if you have never done this, but you can remember your love for baking and come up with a new recipe or make repairs from scrap materials - the entire surrounding space is a blank slate for flight, you need to try to find your abilities and desires.
Look for the causes of your condition and eliminate them, rather than endlessly struggling with the consequences. If you are depressed by the monotony and boringness of your work, then you can cheer yourself up as much as you like, but as long as the activity remains the same, the result will be disappointing. In this option, you should either change the activity or introduce exciting elements into it. The lack of visible results leads to despondency with the same probability as complete well-being, only the wording is different - there is no point in striving, because everything is useless or because everything is already there. A shake-up, leaving your comfort zone, arranging your own austerities allows you to feel first the lack, and then the desires that give rise to aspirations and a thirst for activity, sweeping indifference out of the main parameter of reality.
Don’t be afraid to change your life, especially if you don’t care anyway, then in the worst case scenario you will remain in the same state. Go to unfamiliar cities, increase your social circle, load yourself with new work or hobbies - it is not necessary that you will like the new city, but new acquaintances will delight you. Perhaps, from active life changes, people will feel limited (and this will give birth to the idea of opening their own development courses), perhaps new cities will be horrified by their dirt and ruin (and you will think about a volunteer movement to correct the situation). All the emotions gained during the new experience will be useful in order to jump out of despondency, but whether it is love and admiration for the world or indignation and anger at the existing order of things is not so important.
Take care of the physical support of your body, because despondency disturbs the production of hormones and somatic sensations - make up for the lack of endorphins in all possible ways. The best option is physical activity (choose jogging, gym, fitness training, swimming pool), bananas and chocolate (direct suppliers of the hormone of happiness into the body), touch and intimacy (tactile sensations and orgasm produce a huge amount of necessary substances that normalize functioning of the hormonal system). Replenish your supply of essential vitamins (gnaw vegetables and fruits, drink them in capsules or fizzy drinks - the main thing is that all microelements are contained in the required quantities), walk more often, saturate your body with vitamin D, which is one of the main helpers in the fight against.
Drugs and alcohol are depressants, so using them in a state of despondency will drive you into a blind corner, the way out of which will lie exclusively through a psychoneurological dispensary. If you feel the need to stimulate emotional processes, then for now it is better to sign up for training using or go to individual psychotherapy.
Don't stop setting goals for yourself, let them be small things for every day - working out, meeting a new person, choosing a hairstyle. Firstly, the awareness of achieving goals helps to overcome the feeling of one’s own uselessness, secondly, it gives direction for movement, and thirdly, it facilitates the process of getting out of despondency, because it is still easier to follow a written plan, which you can draw up as you read this text. Otherwise, in the absence of motivation (and this is precisely what is striking for such a state), all invented strategies for overcoming despondency will be nullified.
Dejection and sadness - how to deal with it
Dejection, like sadness, significantly changes a person’s life and is familiar to almost every adult. A world that requires you to be in a constant manic state, to heroically overcome problems and sorrows, further strengthens such feelings by preserving them. Fully experienced pain goes away from life, giving place to other, sunnier experiences, and if you pretend that everything is in order, closing the negative feeling in a dark closet (from yourself or from society), then it will destroy the personality from the inside, taking away strength and poisoning existence, but not completely retreating until it is released and lived.
The state of sadness does not bring anything good, and in its long course it can break a person, so many strive to fight it quickly and radically, looking for the necessary pills. The problem is that medications will help establish neural connections, metabolism, nervous system function and normalize hormonal levels, but they will not help change your worldview and ways of reacting.
In most cases, a person himself provokes the development of sadness and despondency, choosing this path out of habit. Remember how wary society is about joy, but tragedies and bad moods always have a right to exist. The habit of perceiving change as a problem and the need to put everything back to its previous place through incredible efforts does not justify the costs and spoils the mood, closing the opportunity to see behind the changes not a tragedy, but the possibility of new achievements and positive endeavors. It is worth starting to monitor your automatic thoughts, introduced external reactions, subjecting them to serious criticism and a forced search for positive aspects. Take a pause before accusing yourself of awkwardness or narrow-mindedness, or explaining the bad attitude of others to your ugliness, and not to their lack of culture. Such critical thoughts often have no relation to reality, but reflect an opinion (usually causing severe trauma) from previous life situations.
Reinforce your resource states and monitor your internal automatisms. Avoid the reasons that lead you to a sad state, and if you are already depressed, then try to choose a clear course and follow it without remaining motionless.