The power of promises you make to yourself. I will use my strengths to make the world a better place.

I continue to sum up 2015 and summarize scattered thoughts. At the same time, I decided to publicly make myself several promises for the next year.

In 2016 I promise myself:

1. Give yourself more love and attention. “I” should always come first for any person. Firstly, only a happy person can make others happy, because you cannot share what is not there. Secondly, only a strong, healthy, strong person in every sense can help others - often desire alone is not enough, there must also be opportunities. Finally, thirdly, every woman wants to smile at her reflection in the mirror. And for this it is necessary that the reflection corresponds to the ideal. If you look like a scarecrow, then there is nothing to smile about. So I promise

today finish the “beauty schedule”, in which you describe all the procedures for every day, and strictly adhere to it;

Stop focusing solely on price when purchasing skincare products; savings are important, but the ingredients on the packages are written for a reason, and no one canceled the experience, because if the brand was rude before, then there is no reason to believe that it has changed for the better;

look every day in such a way that you won’t be ashamed to stand in front of the camera at any moment;

admit the fact that I have bad, weak nails (and my hands are my weak point and are in terrible condition), and, not forgetting about strengthening supplements and procedures, regularly do extensions and corrections (and regularly - this is once every 2-3 weeks , and not in season and before important events);

honestly don’t cut your hair for a year (light periodic trimming doesn’t count) and see what, coupled with my numerous masks, this will lead to;

achieve by the end of 2016 those goals that are “tied” to well-being and appearance.

2. Give more love and attention to your husband, home and friends. And this is not at all difficult - there is plenty of time in the day, but most often it is spent very irrationally. If earlier I thought that Internet addiction was not for me, today I am ready to admit that I am addicted to a number of social networks and the news. So I promise

take full charge of caring for the house and no longer try to delegate it to your husband (it is not forbidden to ask him for help);

give the house a cozy look by actively working on its furnishings;

stop hiding beautiful tablecloths and expensive plates “for a special occasion” in boxes and cabinets: every day is unique and deserves the best;

Develop an effective schedule that allows enough time for daily relaxation so that you can spend time with your husband or friends.

3. Pay attention to self-development. In my case, this term includes learning foreign languages, reading and listening to audio books and lectures, professional growth, meditation and sports (cardio, strength training, swimming, yoga). All of these items are included in my list of goals for 2016. So I promise

read at least 84 books (the list was compiled in advance, but if necessary it can be adjusted, including quantitatively - upward);

read at least one book each in French, Spanish, English and Arabic (in the latter case, reading comprehension is not yet necessary :));

take the Basic Internet Copywriting Course by Pavel Berestnev twice - the second time with a mentor in order to pass the test and gain access to paid orders of the Copywriting League;

take (including repeat - refresh) all the professional courses that I have, as well as the “Implementation Wizard” training;

include time in your daily schedule for morning stretching and meditation;

adhere to a developed sports plan, which includes three sports sessions (cardio plus strength training) per week, and gradually increase the number of sports days;

achieve by the end of 2016 those goals that are “tied” to growth and self-development.

4. Stop freezing. I'm sick of it. Today I got angry, opened all the windows wide and took off one of the sweaters - and you know, I felt warm all day. And in general, I am sure that everything starts from the head. So I promise

to harden yourself and by next winter - perhaps - swim in the sea all year round, that would be cool;

engage in self-hypnosis - I’m sure that I can convince myself that the girl is warm :);

If possible, find environmentally friendly and economical means of heating.

When we promise something to others, we certainly try to preserve our reputation and fulfill our promise. This is how to win an argument - a matter of honor!

But we often act completely differently with ourselves. Why does such self-dislike happen? And why is it so important to keep your promises to yourself? Properly formulated promises to yourself are the best tool for achieving important goals. The words “goal” and “promise” are almost identical. But the “promise” appeals to our conscience, appeals to our sense of self-respect. That's why it's so important to promise yourself something when other methods are less effective.

How to make promises to yourself?

Make promises to yourself only by clearly articulating the end result. For example, if you want to lose a few extra pounds, tell yourself: “I promise that tomorrow I won’t eat sweets all day.” This form of posing a thesis statement will not allow you to shirk the promised actions, because deceiving yourself is very unpleasant.

If you replace promises to yourself with the simple word “must,” then they will never take shape in the final result, but will become just another demands on yourself, causing discomfort and therefore directed into emptiness.

In order for the promises made to yourself to have the maximum effect, it is necessary to take into account such nuances as:

Realism. Imagine that a person made a promise to himself to run 10 km every morning. But his body does not have the proper level of endurance. Will he be able to achieve such a goal?

Feasibility. Promises made to yourself must be achievable. You shouldn’t throw around idle vows even in front of yourself, much less in front of others.

Necessity. If a person has made a promise to himself that is dictated to him by stereotypes, false goals, or solely by the interests of others, then fulfilling the vow will not bring him any joy.

A good promise to yourself is like a contract with yourself. If we fail to fulfill the terms of the contract, we begin to consider ourselves dishonest people. And no one wants to experience such emotions, so it is more pleasant to fulfill a contract with yourself than to refuse it.

What does the promise technique bring to people’s lives?

A clear promise to ourselves helps, organizes our lives, and helps us achieve great results. With the help of such a commitment, you can increase your own income, solve problems with communication or health. You just need to set the right goals.

But how can you determine whether the goal is set correctly? It is enough to start from the very word “correct”. Is it right to wake up in the morning with a terrible hangover, or should you call a taxi and leave the party early? Is it right to take care only of yourself or is it necessary to remember about your loved ones? The word “right” contains an important meaning that helps us set the right goals and avoid false and momentary desires. Of course, go only with what is right for you. Then your resources will be directed to the most significant things. All this works when a person makes an irrevocable decision to act.

If you make promises to yourself and keep them, it means:

You treat yourself as the best project of your life;

You use your energy wisely and rationally;

You live only according to your own scenario, you are the creator of your own universe:

You know what you want from life and you get it;

You take care of yourself by not allowing harmful desires to break you;

You love yourself and love the people around you;

You are fulfilled and have much to offer the world.

A contract with yourself is the best way to check how you feel about yourself. When a person knows how to keep his word to himself, he will become attractive to other people, because there is no trick or deception in him. The promises you make to yourself will help you realize, put into words and gain motivation to fulfill your desires and. They will help you do those things that you haven’t gotten around to, change your life in the direction you always wanted, but somehow there was no time for it, they will structure your life and give impetus for achievements.

About the useful art of making achievable promises to yourself

Before the New Year, we promise ourselves that from the first of January we will begin a new life, in which there will be a place for self-development, sports, long family walks, culinary experiments and Saturday family dinners. I want to break away from all the previous years, when a new life never began, so there are a lot of plans. How to set goals that are easy and pleasant to achieve, and make a plan that you will definitely implement?

Happiness in the family or a toned butt? Choosing a goal and looking for internal motivation

When we set a goal, whether it's exercising regularly or learning to bake Napoleon, we want the outcome to be rewarding and satisfying. No one wants to waste time on something that will be unnecessary and disappointing. How do you determine what is truly worth the effort?

Oksana Anishchenko, psychologist

If we don't set a goal for ourselves, we begin to live to realize other people's goals that they impose on us. It is important for a person to understand what he is striving for and to see the direction of movement.

It would seem that dependence on other people’s opinions and the impudent “are you weak?” remained in adolescence. But do we really want to go to the gym (and haven’t been going there for years now) because we really need it? Isn’t the feeling of guilt for my own supposed laziness and disorganization caused by the fact that my Instagram feed is sparkling with hot photos from exercise machines, and I’m sitting alone at home with uninflated abs?

Only your own goal will work, which:

meets our needs,
lights a sparkle in the eyes,
brings you closer to the desired lifestyle and a sense of harmony.

You can safely refuse all others, let others chase after them.

But wait, the gym allows you to stay healthy, confident and attractive to your man. Yeah, that means this is what it is, a true desire - to feel good and catch the admiring glances of your husband! And not to learn how to cook complex cakes, but to finally improve relations with the mother-in-law, who considers her a bad housewife.

” When we see the real goal, we can choose a comfortable means of achieving it.

How about belly dancing on Saturdays and a master class on signature pies from the husband's mother (to please her, of course)?

“I want everything and more”: correctly formulating the goal

How quickly and easily we can bring it to life depends on how we formulate the goal. The correct formulation makes the goal tangible and real: it helps to visualize the result, clarifies the scope of work, allows you to clarify vague details and suggests a shortcut.

We set a goal that concerns ourselves

When formulating a goal, let’s focus on ourselves, because we are the ones who will achieve the result. For example, the intention to knit a sweater is easy to implement; it depends on our actions. If the goal concerns another person, then without his desire we can act only through manipulation or threats. It’s unlikely that anyone will like this, and it won’t have the desired effect.

Oksana Anishchenko, psychologist

Setting a goal that concerns another person and requires active action from him means shifting responsibility to another when, for example, we ourselves do not understand how the situation can be improved. Then we act from the position of a child - we want someone to come and change everything. But if we give someone responsibility for our desire, then, of course, we begin to get angry if he does not fulfill it, and we try to force him to move towards the goal instead of us.

If you have a desire to change something in your neighbor, you need to ask the question: what do I feel next to him, what emotions cause discomfort? Then ask yourself: what do I want to feel?

For example, when we say: “I want my child to stop being naughty,” we, firstly, immediately imagine a naughty child, and, secondly, we mentally transfer responsibility for our well-being next to him. From such a picture, only one reaction can arise - irritation. We unconsciously begin to move towards making the child capricious, because we imagine exactly this image.

We need to look at how we feel around a capricious child - maybe powerlessness, anger, even fear. And think, what would you like to feel? If we say: “I want to feel calm next to the child,” then we shift the focus of attention to ourselves - and take responsibility. When we say: “I am calm around my child,” the corresponding behavioral reaction is triggered, and we unconsciously approach this state.

It's not easy to accept that we can't change other people. But there is good news: when we change, those around us feel it and begin to move forward too.

Formulate the goal in the present tense

We make it easier for ourselves when we formulate a goal as if we have already achieved it. This allows you to tune in to quickly move towards results. Scientists have proven that performing any actions in the imagination can affect our ability to perform them in reality. Neuroscientist Chris Frith described an experiment in which one group trained by doing physical exercises, while the other only mentally imagined themselves exercising. Experience has shown that the latter were not much behind the former: real exercises increased muscle strength by 30%, and imaginary exercises by 22%. Psychologist Barbara Sher recommended that her patients from the social adaptation center act on the “as if” principle: as if they had already settled into a new company, or knew how to pass interviews, or had become effective employees. And we can formulate the goal as if we have already achieved it, for example: “I earn N thousand per month” (instead of “I want to earn N thousand per month...”).

Oksana Anishchenko, psychologist

Our thinking operates with the help of imagination. When we say that we now have something, an idea of this object immediately arises in our imagination and a behavioral reaction is triggered. The simplest example: imagine a lemon, and salivation begins. This does not depend on whether the lemon is actually there: the brain and body react to the picture as if it were part of reality. When the idea of a goal appears in the imagination as something we already possess, a corresponding reaction is triggered.

We formulate the goal affirmatively

The wording must not contain the particle “not”. The reason is the same imagination. When we declare an intention through a negative statement (for example, “I don’t smoke”), the brain, first of all, grabs onto the familiar picture of a smoking person and develops this image. The brain does not perceive the initial goal “I quit smoking”, being distracted by a familiar intense experience. But you can say: “I am healthy, my skin is clear, my breath is always fresh.” The brain itself will eliminate indicators of ill health, including smoking; they are not needed to achieve the goal.

We formulate the goal clearly

Just saying “I’m healthy” or “I lead a healthy lifestyle” is not enough. It is not clear what we mean by these concepts: is the lifestyle healthy enough or does it still need to be worked on? It is useful to formulate the goal in detail: “In 2017, I go to yoga twice a week and eat three fruits a day.” “I should be outside more often” can be replaced with a clear one: “Twice a week I walk for an hour in the nearest park, on weekends the whole family goes for a walk in the forest.”

A vague goal gives room for compromise: I’ll put it off until tomorrow, I’ll make an indulgence today, I didn’t promise that I would study English every day! In addition, vague formulation makes the goal unattainable: it is not clear where we are going and what to do to get there. Uncertainty causes loss of motivation.

” To check whether the goal has been clearly stated, you can ask the question: “How will I know that the goal has been achieved?” The answer should be clear: “I will reach my goal when I weigh 64 kilograms.”

We begin to act immediately!

Making a plan

The plan is designed to save you from a million details that flit around in your head like annoying midges and prevent you from concentrating. Sometimes we give up on a goal because the path seems unclear and confusing. The plan allows us to look at the front of the work: firstly, everything may turn out to be simpler than imagined, and secondly, we will know how to go towards the goal.

” I like to use a reverse shot. It helps to unravel the tangle of necessary actions and break each stage into small steps. This is similar to the children's puzzle "help the bunny through the maze", which is easily solved by sliding the handle from the exit of the maze to the entrance.

To make a reverse plan, we write down all the steps, starting with the action closest to the goal and furthest from us. Then we will determine the next steps, up to the last one. It must be so tiny and light that it can be done immediately. The chain of actions can branch, then you need to work on each direction separately.

For example, our goal is to organize a children's party. What do you need to celebrate?

Invite guests.
Choose a place
Prepare an entertainment program
Prepare a treat.

Let's start from point A. What does it take to invite guests? Call them or give them beautiful invitations. To do this, we need to decide how many people we can accept and who we will invite to the celebration. Can I make a list? I'll ask the child who he wants to see at the party!

What do you need to choose a place and program? Explore possible options and calculate your budget: an interactive show from animators in a children's center, a culinary master class in a pizzeria, or competitions from mom at home. I’ll call Natasha and find out where she got the script for Anyutka’s birthday party, and then I’ll look on the Internet what children’s centers offer.

This is what the plan will look like(click on photo to enlarge)

This scheme is also suitable for more complex ideas. When we write steps in reverse order, it's easier to account for the capricious details - each action follows from the previous one.

We set a deadline and measure our strengths

To make a goal achievable, you need to clearly define a deadline. If we give ourselves too little time, we will become nervous and despair because we don’t have time. If it’s too much, let’s relax and leave everything until the last moment. Think back to college: have you often studied exam papers during the semester when the sessions are still far away?

If it takes a lot of time to achieve a goal, you can break it down into stages and set deadlines for each. For example, you decided that in 2017 you will learn English to the Intermediate level in order to get your dream job in the future. Let’s clarify the details: from January to March we take an online course for beginners and take the Elementary test in March. From April to June we attend a language school and pass the Pre-Intermediate exam. And so on, until the final certificate.

” You can tell a significant person about your plan or even publicly declare it on a page on social networks. For some, this tactic motivates them not to give up and meet the deadline.

It is important to adequately assess your own capabilities and not take on too much. If you have several goals, highlight two or three of the most significant ones, and put the rest aside for later. By taking on everything at once, we risk becoming exhausted and disappointed in ourselves.

Adjusting the goal

From time to time, ask yourself whether the chosen goal is still relevant? There is no shame in adjusting plans or even abandoning plans altogether. If you promised yourself to re-read all of Dostoevsky over the summer, but after the first book you realized that this was a bad idea, don’t force yourself.

” The goal should help our development, lead to a harmonious and joyful life, and if you persist out of a sense of duty, you can get thoroughly stuck in the swamp.

Remember, in any case, you didn’t waste your time in vain: you tried something new, gained experience in self-organization and discipline. And if it’s a shame that you have to start all over again, remember the words of Edison, who invented the light bulb not the first time: “I didn’t suffer defeats. I just found 10,000 ways that don't work.".

Oh, this question is how to become successful. What is “success” for a woman? Why does one feel fulfilled in the family, personal relationships, at work, and the other does not?

We are all on equal terms, but not everyone achieves the desired success. What then influences its acquisition?

I have great news for you, just take 3-5 minutes of your time. Read this article and get the answers.

Often wealthy women who can afford a lot come to me for personal consultations. These women “personify success” in the understanding of others, they are doing well financially, but are a “complete fiasco” in relationships.

And every time I work with them, I become more and more convinced that for a woman success is, first of all, a feeling, a state.

For a man, success is measured by the result that he receives from the actions he takes, and for a woman, it is a state that is tantamount to happiness.

Why do some people feel it and others don’t? Remember I promised you great news? So here it is:

YOU ALREADY HAVE EVERYTHING TO BE SUCCESSFUL.

You already know this feeling. Remember those moments when you were happy about a completed project. Remember the satisfaction you get from doing what you love. From the fact that you successfully completed everything you planned and got an excellent result.

To be successful, take action!

It is necessary to understand that you need to act, and not “wait for luck". I think you’ve heard more than once about a lying stone and water that doesn’t flow under it.

Don't make life difficult for yourself.

Skepticism is human nature. We cannot believe that such a complex question can have an easy answer. And we begin to look for a problem where there cannot be one. For example, in the absence of luck. Do not search! Otherwise you will find it :)

Cast aside these doubts. Arm yourself with this method, which I prepared especially for you.

I give you a method, following which you will achieve the desired result. Success will be your companion in 2016. I believe that you will smile and think:“Wow, how simple it is! Why didn’t I do this before?”

So, let's look at this method in detail.

Promises to yourself to be successful

How it works? Very simple. For those who work on themselves. Performs any actions on the way to his goal.

Nothing changes in the lives of those women who simply have knowledge. You can read a million books. You can attend a consultation"the most intelligent and effective psychotherapist" , paying a huge amount of money for it.

But you will waste time and money if you do not apply this knowledge. And even worse - you will lose faith that this is even possible.

Your brain is designed in such a way that you can program it to do certain actions (we have already discussed). What I suggest you start with is based on this method.

40 promises that will tell your mind how to become successful.

Make these promises to yourself in 2016, and you will realize that you are becoming happier and more successful. And the best part is that it is completely deserved! You deserve to be successful.

Just tell yourself:

“I, name, want 2016 to bring me joy from my achievements. I promise myself to spend this year loving myself, the people around me and the world. I will accept all changes in my life with ease and gratitude.”

I believe in myself and my success. Therefore, I continue my development every day. I track my weaknesses and strengths and work on them.
I only stay where I am valued, respected, loved.
I take only those actions that improve my life, make it more comfortable and enjoyable. I effectively use my talents, capabilities, and strength.
I say firmly No“everything I don’t want to do.
I carefully weigh my words before I say them out loud (especially to men).
I only accept respectful treatment from men.
I meet new challenges and say " Yes» new opportunities.
I surround myself with happy and successful women who are constantly improving themselves.
I consciously accept myself as I am at this moment in time.
I spend more time with my family and loved ones.
I respect men. Because they fill my life and bring harmony to my relationships. They surround me with care and understanding. They give me the opportunity to be truly feminine.
I analyze the mistakes I made, learn from them and don’t make them again. I treat my mistakes as experiences that help me be more successful.
I treat my body and organism with love, I don’t have and never will have another.
I believe in myself and my success.
Only I make the decision to end or continue the relationship. I don't need anyone's approval for this.
Only a worthy man can be next to me.
I am allowing myself this year to have as much money as I need for all my desires. I'm letting go of my money restrictions. And I easily and gratefully accept gifts from men.
I share my desires and ideas only with those people who support them.
Every morning when I wake up, only I decide how I feel. What mood to spend the day in? I always feel great and am in a great mood, regardless of the situation. I don't let problems affect my mood.
I regularly spend time alone with myself, in my “ secret garden" In order not to be distracted when I need to think about something important.
I only wear clothes that make me feel beautiful.
I only remember the good things. And I repeat only good events in my life.
I'm focused on enjoying life today. Here and now.
When I have an idea, I immediately begin to implement it.
I set comfortable boundaries within my relationships.
I forgive myself as many times as necessary.
I am always ready for reasonable efforts leading to my success. When I get the desired result, I am happy.
I react calmly in difficult situations.
I maintain influence in existing relationships. And, first of all, I show my self-respect in new ones.
I respect and value myself. So I behave accordingly. Always.
I'm letting go of the bad past.
I create a daily routine that is comfortable for me, which will discipline me.
I am able to treat my failures and mistakes with humor.
I make time to help friends when they ask me or when I see that I can help in some way. Be useful.
I don't compromise on things that are of priority to me.
I develop my strong feminine sides rather than focusing on my weak ones.
Every new day, I live better than yesterday, and not better than others.
Only I am responsible for my happiness. I choose only what will lead me to success.
I choose to be a happy, loved and totally rich woman this year.

How to use this list to become successful?

To start, choose 3-4 principles. Make a promise to yourself:“I will stick to them no matter what happens.” Analyze every week to what extent you managed to apply these principles - let each new week bring better results.

1. As soon as you realize that you have dealt with them. I felt how they began to operate in your life - take 3-4 new principles and apply them. Until you achieve results.

2. When you make a promise to yourself, you program your brain for a specific task. You will begin to notice that your mind is giving you more and more ideas in the direction of the assigned task. If you fill yourself up by watching TV series, reading cheap novels"about nothing", then you think about it later, you live the life of the heroes of these works, and not your own. Well, really? 🙂

3. By the way, a very important point. Promise“will begin to work in your life”, if you write it on paper and not just say it. It’s even better if you make a promise to a loved one. You don't want to fail in this person's eyes. And this will become an additional source of motivation.

4.Don't give room to laziness and fears. Act, analyze and act again.

The best way to prepare for the future is to create it yourself.

Accept changes in your life without tension and stress. It is important for a woman to be in a calm state to accept change.

And note some simple arithmetic: multiply by two what you do to be successful.

Analyze and write down what has helped you grow in recent days, weeks, months... Create a list of what has improved the quality of your life. Maybe you liked the effect of the book you read this weekend? Great! Promise yourself to read two! Read twice as much and get twice the results.

Maybe you consulted a specialist, went to a seminar? And she improved the quality of her life, created comfort in the house with her man. Again, don't hesitate. Double the effect

By the way, when I analyzed the effectiveness of the past year, I received the following data:

more than 80% of women who not only regularly read my blog, but also attend trainings, have results in improved relationships with men and in the family.

When I saw this number, I realized that what I was doing was paying off! I want women to be happy and successful. And these numbers speak for themselves.

What is important to understand in order to be more successful.

One quote from Abraham Lincoln comes to mind:“Whoever you are, be better.”

Don't make life difficult for yourself. Always be a better woman today than you were yesterday!

Use the advice of specialists and practitioners. They“ate these tasteless dogs” for you. Don't hurt yourself, it's painful and unpleasant. And it's completely unnecessary.

Be smarter than others - use the experience acquired by people of more than one generation!

Following a simple method"promises made to oneself" , you will completely forget that you were once worried about this question - “how to become successful.”

Imagine that you are looking at a painting painted by a world famous artist. And you tell yourself -“I could never draw like that” .

And this is the honest truth. You can't do it exactly as this person wrote. No need to imitate. We always feel false.

You are unique if you act in your own, recognizable style. And this is exactly what brings the most effective results.

People become great and successful only when they find their uniqueness. Each of us has an extremely rich inner world, open it and you will be surprised how interesting it is.

I want to thank you for taking the time to read this article. Take action, follow simple recommendations and forget about the question “how to become successful”, just be it.

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