At the moment, as a primary school teacher, I work in the 3rd grade, on the basis of which an experimental site for multilingual education “Optimization of the multilingual education system in a general education lyceum” was opened last year.
The object of her research is the process of teaching primary schoolchildren two foreign languages, German and English, with a simultaneous start. The purpose of this experiment is to create an effective system for organizing the multilingual learning process.
Together with foreign language teacher O.V. Gunkina tasks were outlined that would contribute to the implementation of this goal, in particular, this
- bring the content of the educational process in foreign and native languages into line;
- development of integrated lessons based on the subjects FL, FL1 and FL2, as well as other subjects;
- development of extracurricular and reporting activities in FL1 and FL2 and RY
As part of this experiment, I developed elective course program
"Entertaining linguistics."
Program of the optional course "Entertaining linguistics"
Explanatory note
The Russian language is a complex academic subject, but at the same time it is also socially significant: it is both a means of communication, an instrument of cognition, and the basis of our culture. Without a good knowledge of the language, it is impossible to achieve success in studies and professional activities. Nevertheless, insufficient literacy remains one of the “sore spots” of our society. In Russian language school curricula, great importance is attached to lexical work, which is mainly aimed at practical exercises in connection with the study of a number of rules, rather than generalizing theoretical foundations.
Today, a new idea is being formed that involves taking into account the versatility of the language itself in teaching.
The success of learning largely depends on interest in the subject being studied. Unfortunately, it is not often that you meet students who say their favorite subject is Russian. The main task of school is to teach students to write correctly. Meanwhile, the language has wonderful transformations of words, beautiful logic, the distance of history and the diversity of countries and peoples, but all this is not discussed in lessons.
Purpose of the program "Entertaining linguistics"- make learning the Russian language exciting and joyful, and, therefore, effective; help students understand the complex structure of the Russian language, comprehend its many mysteries and secrets, turning serious study into an interesting journey into the fairyland of Entertaining Linguistics.
The strict framework of the lesson and the richness of the Russian language program do not always allow this. In this case, extracurricular activities come to the rescue.
Extracurricular work in the Russian language helps fill this gap, because it encourages students to learn something new about the Russian language, to develop students’ independence and their creative initiative.
A distinctive feature of this program is the activity-based approach to the education, training and development of students using the Russian language. At all stages of education, a variety of knowledge is provided that is associated with the curriculum. Classes are based on gaming methods work. The gaming technique helps to involve students in the creative process, activates cognitive activity, and promotes students’ general interest in the subject.
At each lesson of this elective course, I use multimedia presentations, funny poems, riddles, crosswords, games, proverbs, etc., which help increase the activity and efficiency of students in the classroom, affect the quality of academic performance, and develop logical and abstract thinking.
We should not forget that a rich vocabulary and a high level of speech competence in the native language are a prerequisite for successful mastery of various types of competencies in a foreign language.
In this regard, this elective course promotes mutual enrichment of native and foreign languages(in particular German and English), improving linguistic thinking and speech culture.
During classes it is decided problem of differentiation training, the scope of the curriculum is expanded.
The main objective of this course is to promote the intellectual, moral and aesthetic development of junior schoolchildren through improving their linguistic thinking, speech culture, and children's speech creativity; to help them feel the Russian language as a harmonious system, to convince children of the need to constantly improve their spelling skills.
This goal is achieved through:
- familiarization with the main branches of linguistics,
- improving linguistic analysis skills,
- familiarization with various dictionaries and the rules for working with them,
- clarification and enrichment of vocabulary
- conducting integrated lessons.
In an accessible and exciting way, students get acquainted with the wonderful world of words and their meanings, the origin and history of phraseological units, the laws of formation and change of words in the Russian language.
Extracurricular activities with junior schoolchildren are important for ensuring continuity in work on the Russian language between primary and senior classes.
By the end of the training, students should have an understanding of the basic terms and concepts of linguistics;
- basic linguistic terms and concepts;
- main sections of linguistics (lexicology, phonetics, morphology, syntax, punctuation, word formation, spelling, phraseology);
- spelling and conditions for their selection;
- phrases and sentences;
- - sounds and letters, stress, syllable, word;
- - lexical meaning of the word
- -basic rules of orthoepy;
- genres of journalistic style (article, note)
- -the origin of some words and expressions;
- have an idea of the Russian language as a system;
- -use words correctly in speech;
- - distinguish words-paronyms, antonyms, synonyms, archaisms, neologisms, etc.;
- -make proposals of different types;
- explain the meanings of different words and use them correctly, use various dictionaries;
- write articles and notes in accordance with the norms of the modern Russian literary language;
- to interview;
- determine the topic and main idea of the text;
- improve the content and linguistic design of the essay (in accordance with the studied language material).
The program lasts 34 hours.
Approximate thematic planning. 3rd grade.
| № | Subject | Basic Concepts |
| 1 | Great, powerful, magical language. | Historical path of the Russian language. Writers about language. The most precious words. Thematic groups of words. |
| 2 | Wonderful transformations of words. | Charades, metagrams, loggriffs, shapeshifters |
| 3 | On a visit to phonetics and graphics. Orthographic dictionary. | Spelling. What is a spelling? Introducing a spelling dictionary. |
| 4 | How do the words sound? Our friend is the emphasis. Pronouncing dictionary. | Orthoepy. Pronouncing dictionary. Emphasis. A culture of speech. |
| 5 | Word or not word. Getting to know the explanatory dictionary. Multiple meaning words. | Word, syllable. Dictionary. Multiple meaning words. |
| 6 | Origin of words. Introduction to the etymological dictionary. | Etymology. Etymological dictionary. |
| 7 | What do our names mean? | Origin and meaning of names. Old Russian names. Surname. Surname. |
| 8 | Seasons. Where did the names of the months come from? | Origin of the names of the months. History of the Russian calendar. |
| 9 | Why are they called that? Journey into the world of plants. |
Plant names. Origin of plant names. |
| 10 | Why are they called that? Journey into the world of animals. |
Animal names. Origin of animal names. |
| 11 | Journey into a fairy tale. | Names of fairy-tale characters. |
| 12 | Twin words. Introduction to the dictionary of homonyms. | Homonyms. Dictionary of homonyms. |
| Words are friends. Synonym dictionary | Synonyms. Synonym dictionary. | |
| 14 | The use of synonyms in speech. | |
| 15 | Words are enemies. Dictionary of antonyms. | Antonyms. Dictionary of antonyms. |
| 16 | Words are old and words are babies. | Outdated words, archaisms, neologisms. |
| 17 | Journey through Phraseology. Introduction to the phraseological dictionary. | Phraseology. Phraseological turnover. Winged words. Phrasebook. |
| 18 | The proverb speaks beautifully. | Proverbs and sayings. Their interpretation. |
| 19 | The word under a microscope. Introduction to word-formation dictionary. |
Word formation. Morpheme. Word-formation dictionary. |
| 20 | Adventures in the land of Morphology. | Morphology. Morphological analysis. |
| 21 | Let's take a closer look at the cases. | Noun and adjective case. Case ending. |
| 22 | Journey to the land of Action. Where does the verb fall? | Verb - as a part of speech. Mood of verbs. |
| 23 | Journey to the Land of Signs. With a dictionary of epithets. | Adjective. Epithets. |
| 24 | "You can't execute, you can't pardon." Journey to the land of unlearned lessons. |
Syntax. Punctuation. Punctuation marks. |
| 25 | Spelling tales. | |
| 26 | Visiting unstressed vowels. | Rules for checking unstressed vowels. |
| 27 | A chest with unverifiable unstressed vowels. | Vocabulary words |
| 28 | The consonants are twins. | Double consonants. |
| 29 | Invisible people in the fog. | Unpronounceable consonants. |
| 30 | Visit the hissing ones. Visiting Tsarevich Ts. | Rules for writing words with sibilants. |
| 31 | On a visit to silent letters. | Words with ь and ъ. |
| 32 | Together or separately. | Working with dictionaries. |
| 33 | Crosswords in Russian | Vocabulary. |
| 34 | Tournament of Russian language experts | Summarizing the material covered |
Record-breaking words
The longest word listed in the Guinness Book of Records is found in the Hungarian language. It consists of 44 letters: megszentségteleníthetetlenségeskedéseitekért. When trying to accurately translate it, experts disagree, and obviously not everyone will be able to pronounce this “rebus”. According to some versions, the word can be roughly translated as follows: “due to (your) desire to maintain an unblemished reputation.”
Difficulties in pronouncing a foreign word correctly often arise. Thus, in the spring of 2010, the Eyjafjallajökull volcano in Iceland seriously frayed the nerves of airlines and passengers, and for news anchors it became a real test to correctly pronounce its name.
The Guinness Book of Records also mentions the word that has the most meanings in the English language - the word "set". According to the second edition of the Oxford English Dictionary (1989), the word "set" has 430 different meanings.
The rarest sound found in European languages is Czech [rzh]. The most common sound is the vowel [a], there is not a single language in the world that does not have it.
At the same time, in the Serbian and Croatian languages there are words that do not contain vowels, for example, the name of the island of Krk in the Adriatic Sea.
Record-breaking people
Powell Alexander Janulus (74 years old), a former employee of the court of the Canadian province of British Columbia, is considered one of the greatest polyglots - he speaks 41 languages. Another great polyglot of the 18th-19th centuries. Cardinal Giuseppe Mezzofanti was considered, who knew 38 languages and 50 dialects, while he never left his native Italy.
Italian Vanessa Morabito was able to pronounce the most words per minute on February 8, 2012. She managed to say 380 words in the allotted 60 seconds. But Shishir Khatva set another record: on May 12, 2012, he managed to pronounce 50 words backwards in 1 minute 23 seconds.
Amazing facts about languages
The Basque language, spoken in northern Spain, is not part of any language group. There are 800,000 native speakers of this language, and most of them live in the so-called Basque Country - an autonomous region of Spain.
Enantiosemy is known as a linguistic phenomenon where the same word has opposite meanings.
There is also interlingual enantiosemy, which often appears in Slavic languages. Thus, the Polish uroda means “beauty”, zapominać - “to forget”. Czech čerstvý means “fresh”, potraviny - “products”, pozor! - “attention!”, úžasný - “delightful”, and the Serbian “harmfulness” is translated as “value”.
It is interesting to note that “Russia” sounds quite unusual in some European languages. For example, for Estonians it is “Venemaa”, and for Finns it is “Venäjä”.
10 myths about the Russian language
What kind of “coffee” is it, should “president” be capitalized, and is it polite to say “eat” instead of “eat”.
There are standard errors that guardians of the Russian language like to refer to: incorrect emphasis in the word “simultaneously” or confusion with the gender of “coffee”. But there are more interesting cases. Most native speakers, for example, mispronounce the phrase “opinions vary”: the norm is that the stress of this verb should be on the first syllable. We have selected the 10 most common misconceptions about the Russian language based on a lecture by Vladimir Pakhomov, editor-in-chief of the Gramota.ru portal, about myths in the Russian language.
Coffee
Coffee is a loanword ending with the letter "e", but is masculine. In the vast majority, such words acquire a neuter gender in our language - that’s how it is structured, and this tendency is unusually strong. For example, “metro” used to be also masculine (from “metropolitan”), and even the newspaper “Soviet Metro” was published. It is always a mystery to foreigners why in Russian “cafe” is neuter, and “coffee” is masculine. But the masculine gender is maintained by the presence of the obsolete forms “coffee” and “coffee”. This is a kind of linguistic memorial.
"in Strogin"
Anna Akhmatova was very indignant when they said in front of her “I live in Kratovo” instead of “I live in Kratovo.” Another writer suggested that everyone who says “from Kemerovo” should use the same model to say “from the window.” Apparently, during the decade during which the new inflexible version spread, we managed to forget that this rule always sounded different. The indeclinable names of settlements arose from the language of the military, for whom it was important to give the initial forms in the message. Let’s take, for example, Kratovo - from the declension “in Kratovo” it is not clear whether this is Kratovo or Kratovo. One of the most authoritative dictionaries today, the Zaliznyak dictionary, writes about the indeclinable form as follows: “the degree of prevalence of this phenomenon is so great that, apparently, it is already approaching the status of acceptable.”
"call"
“Ringing” - this bogeyman arises in any thematic discussion. There is a logic by which stress shifts in language, and whether we like it or not, these laws work. The transfer of stress from the ending to the root is natural - “smoke”, “cook” and “give” were also previously pronounced with stress on the last syllable, they just have already passed this path. Despite the fact that this makes everyone very angry, we will indeed say “calling” in the future.
President and Patriarch
In fact, these words are written in capitals only for official titles, in the texts of official documents. For example, in the text of the Decree of the President of the Russian Federation, this word is written with a capital letter. But in a newspaper article there is no reason for this, and you need to write it in lowercase. There is also a very persistent myth that when congratulating a person, “birthday” must be written with two capital letters - no, both words are written with small letters.
"in Ukraine"
This is a very sensitive issue, and it constantly goes beyond the boundaries of linguistics. We adhere to this position: the norms of the Russian language have been developing over centuries, and they cannot change in five, ten or twenty years to suit some political processes. Therefore, in Russian it is correct to say “to Ukraine”. In general, the formation of prepositions is not always explainable. Why, for example, “at school”, but “at the factory”? It happened that way. Many people don’t like this, everyone needs to get to the bottom of it. “Everything must have an explanation” is another myth; many things in language cannot be explained.
There must always be one correct option
It’s not good when there are two norms, as is the case with the word “cottage cheese”. This is a very common myth. Variation is in no way a flaw for a language; on the contrary, it is its wealth. And there are different options. There are equal options, as is the case with cottage cheese. There are options for the categories “preferred/acceptable”, “modern/obsolete”, and even errors in dictionaries have their own gradations. In the spelling dictionary and in the dictionary of difficulties there is a clear system of notes in this regard. Let's say a non-recommended option is “vandal”, for example. There are wrong options, and there are grossly wrong ones. The approach in which it is believed that only one option is needed is typical for dictionaries addressed to radio and television workers. There are dictionaries that are aimed specifically at showing the dynamics of change and the richness of language norms. A dictionary is not a textbook; it should not record the only possible options.
Instead of “who is last” you need to say “who is last”
Uspensky wrote about this myth in the fifties in his book “A Word about Words.” Uspensky also explains in the book that each object - the same line - has two edges, and the question is thus untenable. Kolesov has an explanation that this use of “extreme” instead of “last” is borrowed from the Ukrainian language. There is also a superstition: everyone began to say “this was my last performance, last lecture, last show.” The word “last” has several negative connotations. For example, “bad” is the last scoundrel. It is clear why people who risk their lives avoid using this word: climbers, divers, circus performers and pilots. But when we hear in the speech of an ordinary person “when was the last time I was there,” it sounds funny.
The word “eat” is spoken only by ill-mannered people
There was such a recommendation in the dictionary of speech etiquette, according to which you can use this verb in relation to children, women can talk about themselves this way, but men should not say this. I don’t know how fair it is, but it is there - as a simple recommendation.
The pronoun "you" is always capitalized
In fact, “you” is capitalized only when addressing one person and only in texts of certain genres: personal letters, memos, leaflets. This, by the way, is not always obvious to philologists. On Gramota.ru there is a section “Conference Calendar”, where applications from portal users come, and almost every explanation has to be edited, because addressing respected colleagues includes the pronoun “you” with a capital letter.
Electronic dictionaries are less reliable than printed ones
Electronic versions of printed dictionaries are posted on the Gramota.ru website - they are one and the same material. For objective reasons, we have cases of discrepancies in recommendations. Let’s say they often ask how to put the accent in the word “tiramisu”. Previously, we answered that the norm is not defined in the dictionary, and since this word is not established, you have the right to choose the option that you like best. The 2012 academic edition of the spelling dictionary was published, and it recorded “tiramisu” with the emphasis on the last syllable. That is, now that this word has received registration in the language and dictionary fixation, we will begin to answer differently. But, let’s say, for the word “arugula” there is no such fixation yet. Fluctuations in the spelling of recently borrowed words are quite natural for a language. The same goes for the words twitter, facebook and others. It has not yet been determined how to write them. I would write differently: in an article I would write “Facebook” using quotes and an uppercase letter, and in a chat - with lowercase and without quotes.
Christopher Columbus, having stumbled upon a fairly large continent on his way to India, made an absolutely important discovery, otherwise we would be sad without Hollywood and iPhones, but along the way he laid a linguistic mine by calling the Indians Indians. Since I am writing and you are reading truthfully and freely, then perhaps there is some misunderstanding about what the problem actually is. In Russian, a feathered horseman from America is called an “Indian,” and a resident of a densely populated country located on the other side of the world is called an “Indian.” One letter was enough to avoid confusing such different characters. There is also a “Hindu” in reserve. But in Spanish, both live under the same roof: indio, no one ever bothered to correct the mistake of Columbus, who stuck someone else’s label on the Native Americans.
Further more. Not missing a single opportunity to optimize the English language, he also decided to make do with one word for two peoples separated by oceans; in his dictionary they are known as Indian. Neither the Americans, nor the Canadians, who received the Indians as a heavy historical inheritance, nor the British, whose empire included India for a long time, lifted a finger to bring more clarity to their language.
Word hindu, which is often used to say “Hindu” in Spanish or English, cannot be given credit to stupid tongues. Firstly, it is of Persian origin, and secondly, it has a clear religious connotation, since it refers to an adherent of the Hindu traditions, which, as we understand, can easily become a representative of any nationality who has stayed in Goa for more than 2 weeks.
Having naturally learned to understand from the context who is being talked about in certain English and Spanish texts, I once fell into a stupor when I read that in the town of Begur, which is in the Costa Brava tiara, in my opinion, the largest diamond , the most significant attractions are the fortress and casas indianas. We are, of course, talking about some houses, but I’ve been to Begur several times before, and there are definitely no wigwams or palaces of rajahs there.
The website of the Academy of the Spanish Language, without a shadow of embarrassment, explained to me what the word Indiano a character is hiding who has nothing in common with the previous two. It turns out that this is what people in Spain call their compatriots who, during the years of crisis, emigrated to Latin America, got rich there and returned home with a bag of money. In terms of time, this is mainly the 18th and 19th centuries. Indianos were not particularly modest and the main point of crossing the Atlantic again for them was probably precisely to show their not so easy-going neighbors on what scale they could live (Odnoklassniki.ru zero version). This scope is what guests of Begur are invited to see - Indianos’ houses, both inside and out, simply shout that their former owners have had a successful life.
Why the Spanish language took a root that has been muddled from all sides for a word denoting such a very specific group of people is a big mystery. Well, except that I wanted to make fun of the English language, which, by that time already having a polysemantic Indian, was backed into a corner and refused to include a new concept in the dictionary. The British in Begur are a common phenomenon, they love to go there and are actively buying real estate, guidebooks in English are forced to somehow get out and either leave Indiano without translation, or they talk about something “colonial”.
Christopher the Great Confusion, who started all this confusion, of course, deserves leniency - he had enough problems with financing his own expeditions and blank spots on the maps to find time for extremely precise formulations. But I would like more ingenuity from the guardians of the language. The moment is not far off when streams of Spaniards, hungry from the new crisis, will pour to work in the BRIC countries, including India, return from there in silks and with incense and demand a separate place for themselves in the dictionary.
PREFACE
Stirlitz could master the completely unfamiliar
him with your tongue in a matter of minutes.
Moreover, sometimes the tongue was not even tied...
O"KARPOV, Unspoken.
There are rumors that I am capable of languages. Not the same, of course, as Colonel Isaev. Not at all. However, I must admit that creating the illusion of a know-it-all is not so difficult. On occasion, it is enough to count out loud to ten in Latvian, or call someone a fool in pure Japanese. The girls' eyes immediately warm up, and if there is no person in the company who knows Swahili perfectly, rest assured that you will remain the center of attention! And who cares that in a Riga store you wouldn’t even be able to ask for a bottle of beer, and a Japanese with your pronunciation would have committed hara-kiri out of shame long ago...
I realized that I was unlikely to become a polyglot in my first English lesson in elementary school. The day before, my mother had drilled into me a dozen English words, and I had already managed to intimidate my grandmother with my sonorous “es” and “no”. But when in the mouth of the teacher such a simple “es” grew into a terrible and obscene “ESYTYZ”, I realized with bitterness that it would be a long time before I would be able to penetrate the secrets of linguistics. Later, apparently due to some absurd accident, I managed to graduate from the language department, although I did not speak English for another two years after that.
The trouble with people like me is that a frivolous attitude towards life and a constant desire to find humor in everything and everyone leads to the absolute impossibility of engaging in scientific activity. Well, how could I continue studying historical geology after I came across the following phrase in the textbook: " Lower Ordovician deposits of the Franco-Bohemian middle massif of the Alpine-Himalayan folded region are represented by tremadocian conglomerates with pebbles of Cambrian effusives"?
That's when I was kicked out of the institute for the first time.
It’s scary to think that ten years have passed since then. On the third attempt, for some reason, I graduated, and unlike most of my classmates, I did not go into business, find a job, or earn money. Instead, I became a bard and started writing songs and all sorts of fun stuff. What can I do if I always preferred abstract thinking to logical thinking? The desire to look at things from a different angle and turn familiar concepts inside out has become the most characteristic feature of my perception of the world. And I began to write palindromes, thanks to the habit of mentally turning every word I heard upside down. I honor the great poets and take my hat off to the serious volumes of their works, but at the same time, I would not exchange a collection of Edward Lear’s limericks even for the library of Ivan the Terrible. I sometimes sing sad songs, but most often they are not my songs. " Tears were created by poets, that’s a fact!“So let them create more than just tears! We already have enough of them.
A HEDGEHOG NAMED ALFRED
"...We must determine who hu is!.."
M.S.GORBACHEV
Serious linguists all over the world are racking their young, gray and bald heads over problems that are quite scientific. Of course, linguistics is already a rather fun subject for them. Still would! Isn’t it interesting, delving into the dust of manuscripts, to establish the kinship of languages that seem completely alien to each other? Imagine the delight of a scientist who has identified Sanskrit roots in the names of Central Russian rivers, or who has found the answer to the question: why, unlike hundreds of other peoples, Georgians call their father “mama”! But, as you already guessed, “entertaining linguistics” is a special concept.
The first time I thought about the peculiarities of studying foreign languages at the institute was when, in my first year, I was called upon to retell a text. Naturally, I wasn’t ready, I didn’t remember the new words. So I stood doomedly at the board, hoping for a random clue. The teacher herself began to suggest.
- Finally, Ben lost patience and shouted: “Taxi! Taxi!” - she reminded me of the next sentence.
“At last Ben lost his...” I began obediently and shut up. I didn’t know what “patience” would be in English then.
- Patience! Patience!.. - a saving hiss flew through the audience. Unfortunately, I heard poorly.
- Potency! - burst out of my mouth!..
The audience burst into laughter. The teacher looked at me tiredly.
“No, Sasha,” she sighed. - He lost not his potency, but his patience! In addition, potency in English will be “potency”!..
It must have been then that the hope began to glimmer in my heart that at least some benefit could be derived from the boring institute classes. At least, I thought, I’ll get by on linguistic tales! And, I must say, hopes were destined to come true. So I continue to share with you the only capital I have acquired. And I’ll start again with the great and mighty English - the same language thanks to which I finally learned to play the guitar. But, however, this is not what we are talking about now.
On a warm spring day, a group of students filled the atmosphere of the classroom with a quiet, cheerful hum: ten minutes had already passed, and the teacher was still not there. A tempting bird cherry aroma flew in through the open window, erasing the remnants of thoughts about the upcoming lesson from their heads. Yes, in fact, no one was thinking about him anymore when the door suddenly opened and the Englishwoman cheerfully entered the audience.
- Stand up, please! - she sang, stretching her lips in an artificial smile.
The students fell silent in confusion. In the silence that reigned, one could hear hearts breaking as they fell from heaven to earth. And my voice, as always inopportunely, was heard too loudly stating the fact:
- “Stand-up” crept up unnoticed!..
Someone, unable to resist, grunted. The Englishwoman, still smiling, shot her eyes at me, but said nothing. Instead, she put the tape recorder on the table and, having explained the task, turned on the tape and left again. We were asked to listen to the boring text a couple of times, and then, upon the teacher’s return, engage in retelling and translation. The recording was a monologue by the leader of a tourist group, instructing newcomers on what to take with them on a hike. The students, as usual, listened to the tape only half-heartedly, with the exception of Andrei Novikov, nicknamed Andrew, who sat alone and looked out the window, bored. The returning Englishwoman called one of the students to retell the text in Russian, and everyone else, sighing with relief, returned to their underground studies. Only Andrew listened attentively to the unfortunate girl.
“As for shoes,” the student painfully recalled. - Be sure to take sports shoes with you...
- AND BOOTS! - Andrew suddenly shouted from the window.
The entire audience jumped in place and stared at Andrew.
- And boots! - he repeated, looking at us dumbfounded. The Englishwoman blushed. I immediately began to sweat. Why would Andrew shout obscenities so brazenly in the middle of class!
- He wants to say that we need to take the boots! - someone finally guessed...
To tell the truth, I don’t even remember how the situation was corrected...
Andrew himself is quite a remarkable person. It is enough to mention how, returning from a trip to Samarkand with a group of international environmentalists, Andrew complained that this brute, the son of the King of Lesotho, owed him twenty bucks he won at cards and did not return it! But most of all, he himself liked to take foreigners around the local museum. Seeing a carved wooden vase, he joyfully informed the delegates that “This vase is made of... BOXWOOD!”, naively believing that the name of this tree sounds the same in all languages. For those who don’t know English, let me explain that foreign ecologists were amazed to hear from Andrew that this vase was “made out of some kind of crap”!
However, some misunderstandings always occur with this word. Recently, an American friend of mine, who has been living in Russia for six years (well, she loves it here!), laughingly told me how a short circuit happened in her Moscow apartment.
“And can you imagine,” she told me in Russian, with a barely noticeable accent, “such a Russian electrician comes.” Dressed like that, in a padded jacket, smoking some kind of terrible tobacco. I walked around the apartment a little, looked at something there... I later found out that it’s called a “distributor,” right? He points his finger at it and says: “This is all a shield! Do you understand?” I nod my head, I think even a Russian electrician can swear in English. And he continues: “This whole shield needs to be changed!”...
However, to create a comical situation, it is not at all necessary to juggle swear words. Quite normal concepts applied in the wrong context can also work in completely unexpected ways. There was a time when my classmate Anton Krause and I had the opportunity to work as translators in the oil fields of Siberia. We have to admit that at that time, our English left much to be desired. Therefore, immediately after arriving at the place of work, we began to intensively cram long lists of professional terms, in which, however, we were not very successful. And three days later, Anton was unexpectedly asked to transfer negotiations between the technical director of the Canadian company and the Russian head of the field. Krause lost a sweat, but he still fought his way through the linguistic barriers with honor, when suddenly, at the very end of the negotiations, the boss politely asked Anton:
- Son, can you also ask if they have enough salt solution?
Here Anton got stuck, and instead of the simple word “brain”, he unexpectedly said “brain”, finally turning to the Canadian, dumbfounded by such impudence, with the question:
- Mr. Ivanov is wondering if you have enough brains?..
I also did not fail to distinguish myself in front of the Canadian authorities. But the whole problem was my habit of wearing a wedding ring on my middle finger instead of my ring finger. And on the very first day, in response to the boss’s question about my marital status, I couldn’t find anything better than silently extending my hand and showing my extended middle finger...
Another time I became a victim of the elementary lack of education of Canadian oil workers. During a smoke break, one of the drillers, sipping hot coffee, began asking me about the animals that inhabit the forests near Moscow. I managed to list the hares, squirrels, wild boars and moose, when suddenly, at the word “hedgehog” (hedgehog), the Canadian asked in amazement: “Who-who?” “Hedgehog,” I repeated uncertainly, already doubting the correctness of my pronunciation. “I know Alfred Hitchcock, an American science fiction writer,” said the Canadian. “What does Hitchcock have to do with it!” I exploded. “Hedgehog, this is an animal with thorns!” "Ah, a porcupine!" - guessed the Canadian. I backed away in surprise. Wow, an adult has never heard of hedgehogs! At this moment, the rest of the workers entered the change house. “Hey, guys!” my interlocutor turned to them, “here Alex is telling me some stories, that they have an animal in Russia named... - here he turned to me, “What did you call him?” "Hedgehog!" - I growled. The Canadians opened their mouths in shock and, like students in class, mumbled in unison: “Alfred Hitchcock? American science fiction writer?”
My legs gave way and I fell onto the bench. “Are you being a fool?” I asked plaintively, “A hedgehog, it’s such a small animal with quills on its back...” “Ah!” the joyful Canadians smiled stupidly, “We understand! It’s a porcupine!” At this point I was no longer laughing. “Hedgehogs,” I say, “are much smaller than your porcupines. And their quills are shorter. And in case of danger, they curl up into a solid prickly ball!..” “Oh, well? Fuck you!” - an incredulous voice was heard, and before I was speechless, one of the drillers handed me a piece of paper, a pencil, and demanded: “Draw!”
With a sigh, I began to draw. I must admit that before this I had never had the opportunity to portray hedgehogs, so solid cartoon characters with idiotic mushrooms and leaves attached to needles automatically came out from under my hand. The Canadians, on the other hand, surrounded me in a tight ring and enthusiastically clicked their tongues, like the indigenous people of Papua, who are being drawn a simplified model of the bathroom on the Mir space station.
Eventually, the smoking break time was up, and I was relieved to interrupt my spontaneous science lesson. But the thought that six adults did not have the slightest idea about hedgehogs did not give me peace. Returning from work to the base, I noticed a fairly large group of Americans crowding into the smoking room, and decided to continue the experiment on them. “Gentlemen!” I addressed them from the doorway, “Let me ask you a question! Do you know who a hedgehog is?” "Alfred Hitchcock! American science fiction writer!" - ten hamburger mouths responded in unison. In a fit of indecent, silent laughter, I doubled over. Suddenly one of the Americans who entered said: “I’m ashamed of you, guys! Hedgehogs are animals that are found in Europe. They live underground and have shiny black fur!”
ABOUT RUSTY PIES AND SMOKING WASHING MACHINES
Shake well after using!
(Shake after use!)
SIGNING ON THE WALL OF THE MEN'S TOILET
It happened, and I myself had to confuse words. While still in my second year at the institute, I justified myself in a letter to my Swiss friend that she had not received letters from me for a long time, due to the poor performance of my post office. As many have already guessed, I managed to write “mail” (male) instead of the word “mail” (mail). Thus, a sweet girl from the very heart of Europe learned with sincere amazement from the letter she received that the hot Russian guy had not written to her for a long time due to problems in his “male system”...
Immediately, by the way, I remembered one character with whom I repeatedly crossed paths while working for a British oil company on the Cheleken Peninsula in sovereign Turkmenistan. The guardian of all kinds of Labor Codes and State Standards, Boris Nikolaevich Kravchenko did not tolerate the slightest actions of his overseas colleagues that ran counter to his opinion. Knowing only half a dozen English words, Mr. Kravchenko was firmly convinced that any foreigner would understand him much better if he pronounced his name in the English manner - Boris, with the emphasis on the first syllable. So one day, Boris Nikolaevich, short, plump and unshaven, caught the director of the company himself in the corridor of the office. Fearfully breathing on him the fumes of Turkmen vodka and smoking local Belomor in the director’s face, Boris took him by the button and declared:
- David! You f... listen to me. Lissen is here, then. Boris, Boris... Fax Ashgabat! And tumorrow, tomorrow, I mean, Boris Fax Amsterdam!..
Thank God, the director realized that it was just a matter of fax messages. But for a long time, a story about the sexy giant Boris circulated around the company...
Another famous character who worked in the same company was Dr. Alex, a Croatian by birth, famous for once, after examining the leg of one of the translators, he declared in broken English that “Dys mast bi typical... Mushroom!" (“This must be a typical... mushroom!”) It is possible that in Croatian the words “mushroom” and “mushroom”, as in Russian, are the same root, but in English, these concepts are completely unrelated. So, the translator, imagining champignons and boletus sprouting from under his toenails, almost died laughing, and from now on, behind his back, Dr. Alex was called nothing more than “Doctor Mushroom”!
There were also smaller incidents in the company. Once, a certain translator was stopped by an Arab who was in charge of a laundry and asked him to come into the repair department in order to report that one of the washing machines was smoking. A slightly confused translator came to the repairmen and declared from the doorway that “one of the washing machines smokes!..”, which, naturally, was understood by foreigners as: “one of the washing machines... smokes!". Another translator, who went with two Scots to visit us for our secretary’s birthday, distinguished himself when translating the host’s dinner speech. “Make yourself at home,” said the elderly Dagestani, clutching a huge goblet in his hand, “Help yourself and don’t be shy!” Make yourselves at home, help yourselves and ... don't be ashamed!“- the translator suddenly blurted out, which meant: “Make yourself at home, help yourself and... don't be ashamed!“I myself once typed out an official written reminder from Boris about the inadmissibility of hot work in the area of an existing gas pipeline, mechanically translating “hot work” literally: “fireworks”, that is, as “fireworks”! Another time I simply mistyped, writing instead of “pipe " (pipe) the word "pie" (pie), as a result of which a report on checking the condition of the gas pipeline was placed on the boss's desk, indicating that "subject to immediate replacement pies with a layer of rust of more than two millimeters."