Rules of conduct accepted in society. Basic rules of etiquette in society

Interpersonal communication in society requires each person to comply with certain norms and rules of behavior. The rules and norms of human behavior in society are known under the concept of etiquette. The main purpose of etiquette is to protect the honor and dignity of a person when communicating in society. Historically, the norms and rules of etiquette developed a long time ago. In each state they were enshrined in special laws, the observance of which was strictly monitored.

Etiquette in society implies the unity of a person’s high internal morality with externally worthy manners. Only such harmony of the internal and external “I” makes it possible to make a person’s behavior sincere and natural.

Modern etiquette is universal and contains global rules and norms, although each nation makes its own additions to it based on national and cultural traditions.

Etiquette contains norms of behavior that regulate a person’s actions in various public places. Based on this, there are different types of etiquette that correspond to the places where a person finds himself.

Business etiquette – regulates the rules and norms of behavior in the workplace.

Diplomatic etiquette is the rules of conduct for members of the diplomatic corps when communicating with representatives of the country in which it is located. It regulates the procedure for visits, diplomatic receptions and meetings.

Military etiquette is the rules of conduct for military personnel, defining a strict hierarchy and unquestioning adherence to the orders of senior ranks.

General civil etiquette - rules and regulations governing everyday communication between people. Respectful attitude towards elders, men towards women, between passengers in transport.

The rules of etiquette are not absolute and should be followed depending on the situation. What is unacceptable in one case may be the norm in other circumstances.

Etiquette norms are, as a rule, unwritten rules, unlike morality, but knowledge of them is an important part of the formation of a person’s internal culture. A cultured person not only accepts these rules, but also strictly follows them not only in public places, but also at home. The basis for the formation of internal etiquette is goodwill, responsibility and dignity. In addition, etiquette is impossible without tact and a sense of proportion, which should be inherent in every well-mannered person. Being friendly to people and at the same time having a sense of proportion will help you present yourself with dignity in any situation.

Thus, etiquette in society requires a person to constantly cultivate an internal culture based on a respectful attitude towards the entire society.

Introduction

1. Dating etiquette

2. Greeting etiquette

3. Farewell etiquette.

4. Everyday etiquette

Conclusion

Bibliography

Introduction

Our era is called the age of space, the age of the atom, the age of genetics. It could rightfully be called a century of culture.

The point is not only that many cultural values ​​that were previously the property of select aristocratic circles have become available in our country to the broad masses of readers, viewers, and listeners. Thanks to the growing activity of workers, an increase in the amount of free time, and the introduction of scientific and technological achievements into all spheres of public life, the culture of human relations and the culture of communication between people is becoming increasingly important. The greater the technical and economic potential of a society, the richer and more complex its culture, the higher the culture of the people who live in it and who govern it should be. Professional, moral, aesthetic, intellectual culture is needed in everyday life and at work. Both labor efficiency and reasonable use of leisure depend on it.

Over the past half century, social life has become more complex and its rhythm has accelerated. In rapidly growing cities, millions of people live side by side in relatively small areas. Everyone meets hundreds, if not thousands, of other people every day. With them he goes to work, works at an enterprise, stands in line at the box office of a cinema or stadium, relaxes in friendly company. People come into contact with each other in a wide variety of moral and psychological situations. The question of how to act, how to behave and how to relate to the behavior of another in a particular case becomes particularly acute due to the enormous diversity of characters, opinions, views, and aesthetic tastes. To find the right solution that allows you to preserve your dignity, your beliefs and not offend another person, you need to take into account many circumstances, show tact, restraint, perseverance, and a desire to understand your interlocutor.

However, even good intentions and subjective honesty do not always save us from mistakes and mistakes, which we later have to repent of. Everyone knows this from their own experience. Over the many centuries of the existence of human culture, a number of rules of behavior have been developed that promote mutual understanding, allowing to avoid unnecessary conflicts and tension in relationships. These rules are sometimes called the rules of good manners, or the rules of etiquette.

Etiquette is a word of French origin meaning manner of behavior. It includes the rules of courtesy and politeness accepted in society.

Modern etiquette inherits the customs of almost all nations from hoary antiquity to the present day. Fundamentally, these rules of conduct are universal, since they are observed not only by representatives of a given society, but also by representatives of the most diverse socio-political systems existing in the modern world. The people of each country make their own amendments and additions to etiquette, determined by the social system of the country, the specifics of its historical structure, national traditions and customs.

1. Dating etiquette

On the street;

In transport;

In a restaurant, theater, museum;

And other public places.

On the one hand, it is indecent to impose your company on a stranger. He may be completely unwilling to communicate with you.

According to the rules of decency, as well as according to everyday norms, to get to know someone you need an intermediary in the person of a mutual friend. You need to contact him in order to be introduced to the person you want to meet.

When you are introduced (this applies to both men and women), then by the reaction of your new acquaintance you will be able to understand whether he wants to continue acquaintance. And if you see his coldness, you should not insist on continuing the relationship.

The basic rules are as follows: with the words “Let me introduce you...”, “Allow me to introduce you...”, “Olya, meet...”

A man is introduced to a woman.

Younger people are introduced to older people.

Guests arriving later will benefit those who arrived earlier.

If guests arrive one after another, and you do not have time to introduce them to each other, your relative or good friend can take on this responsibility.

Having escorted the guest into the room, everyone there is told his name, after which the names of the others are called to this guest.

If there are only a few guests, you can introduce everyone separately.

As they introduce themselves, the men stand up.

Women may remain seated unless the guest who enters is much older than them or occupies a high position.

If two women of different ages meet, it is correct, turning to the older woman, to say: “Let me introduce you...” - and say the first and last name of the younger person, and then name the older woman. In other words, age and authority have an undeniable advantage in this case. The same principle of emphasized respect determines the norm of acquaintance, in which a man is usually introduced to a woman, or an employee to a manager. If you need to introduce peers or people of equal status, it is better to introduce someone closer to you first, for example, your sister - your friend.

When it is necessary to introduce several persons at the same time to a well-known, distinguished person, his last name is not pronounced at all (it is assumed that everyone knows it).

We introduce our wife, husband, daughter, son with the words: “My wife”, “My daughter”. Getting to know your mother and father is an exception to this rule: we introduce everyone we know to our parents, and not vice versa.

It is very useful, when introducing your acquaintances, to add, for example, the following clarification: “My friend N is a surgeon, and this is Z, my friend at the institute.”

When introducing a person, you should pronounce his last name clearly and distinctly. I would especially like to warn against mixing it up or making an inaccurate emphasis.

Clarifications like: “Mr. N is the brother of the famous actor Z!”

For people who are not confident in their memory regarding other people's names, it is advisable to offer: “Please meet me...” And then rely on someone else’s initiative. This way of presentation is quite acceptable.

If a new person joins an already assembled company, pronounce his name loudly; the rest, giving him a hand, call their own.

Are you traveling on public transport with a friend, and at one of the stops your friend gets on board? Is it necessary to introduce your companions? If you exchange only a few words with the newcomer, then you don’t have to introduce him to your friend, but do not forget to do this in case the conversation becomes general.

One of your family members comes to your work. Should it be presented to employees? Not necessarily if you have a purely official relationship with them.

At work. The new employee is introduced to the team by the manager. Old employees bring the newcomer up to speed and behave in such a way that the latter feels comfortable in the new place within a few days. The newcomer should not be privy to the complex personal relationships between some employees, as well as mutual grievances.

The form of addressing each other among members of the same team depends on the degree of their friendly sympathies and established traditions. But in any case, it is unacceptable to address a friend only by his last name.

Life in a holiday home is characterized by somewhat simplified forms of dating. The words “Let me see your book” can begin close communication.

In such an environment, it is best to introduce yourself to your roommates and tablemates. General acquaintance and the creation of a good atmosphere are facilitated by “getting to know each other” evenings, which are common in some holiday homes.

Among young men and women of the same age, it is quite acceptable to use only first names when meeting.

The first to give his hand is the person to whom the other was introduced, i.e. a woman extends her hand to a man, a senior to a junior, a leader to a subordinate. The person introduced waits patiently, ready to extend a hand, but in no hurry to do so.

When a man is introduced, he always stands up. A woman does this only if she is introduced to a much older woman or a man of respectable age and position. Girls under 18 always stand up when meeting adults.

The mistress of the house always stands up to greet the guest, regardless of his gender and age.

If one of the invitees arrives late, when everyone is already sitting at the table, the host should introduce him to everyone at once and seat him in an empty seat. The latecomer can then get to know his closest neighbors at the table.

When you happen to meet an acquaintance on the street walking in the company of a woman you do not know, you are supposed to bow and leave the acquaintance the right to decide what to do first - greet you or introduce you to the woman.

But what if there is a need to be represented, and there is no one nearby in society who could help you with this? You just need to offer your hand and say your last name - clearly and distinctly.

Since we are talking about surnames, it should be noted that a good memory for surnames often helps in life. A person whose name we quickly remember many years later feels flattered. However, there are often people whose last names stubbornly disappear from their memory. If you find yourself in a similar situation, I advise you to glorify in such a way that this vice will not be noticed. But if you are completely unlucky and there is no way out, you will have to admit: “Sorry, I forgot my last name.” In such cases, it’s a good idea to defuse the situation with some kind of joke.

It's never too late to engage in self-education. If you decide to radically change your behavior and become stylish and modern, then you need to learn the basic rules of etiquette and learn good manners.

• Harmony of soul, body and mind. Such a harmonious connection allows you to be happy, which is what most representatives of the fair half of humanity dream of.
• Each of them wants to love and be loved, do interesting things, feel respected and have a good reputation in society. But all this is not as simple as it might seem at first glance. Behind this lies a lot of work and hard work on yourself.
• Becoming a real lady is not an easy task. For this, it is not enough to dress well, have a beautiful and well-groomed appearance and do what you love. You must have an inner charm that will allow you to attract interest in your personality
• It often happens when an outwardly beautiful girl becomes uninteresting literally after 5 minutes of dialogue with her. Whereas a girl who is not very attractive in appearance, but at the same time quite self-confident, is able to attract the attention of others. She is polite, modest, knows how to carry on a conversation correctly, and has good manners in her behavior.
• Good behavior cannot go unnoticed. However, in modern life it is extremely rare to find a morally and spiritually strong person, especially among young people. Therefore, it is never too late to engage in self-education. And we’ll look at how a girl can learn good manners in this article.

Girl has bad manners

First of all, let's look at what manners of behavior will never make a girl a real lady. So, bad manners.

• Increased curiosity in communication
• Gossip with friends
• Humiliation of the interlocutor's personality
• Snitching in a team
• meanness
• Vulgarity and rudeness
• Complacency

This is just a short list of those manners that you need to literally “erase” from your character. And this process must begin immediately.

Adult girl etiquette

A cultured person is, first of all, polite and tactful. To cultivate such qualities in yourself, you need to learn to clearly monitor your emotions and thoughts, that is, control yourself. For example, you are walking in the park, and suddenly someone rushes by at full speed and accidentally pushes you to the side. Naturally, the first thought that comes to your mind on a subconscious level is strong indignation. And it is precisely at this moment that you must control that your emotions do not turn into action, and that rude words do not “fly” out of your mouth in pursuit of the person who pushed you.

Important: You must learn to calmly and slowly perceive everything that happens around you. This will prevent you from committing rash acts.

Now think about what behavior might irritate people. This list is likely to be quite impressive, so you can list them on a piece of paper. Arrogance, loud laughter, swearing, smell of alcohol, etc. Work to ensure that there are no such moments in your behavior.

Watch how cultured people behave in society, on the street, in public transport. Try to instill such character traits in yourself. Behave modestly, do not argue in situations where this issue does not concern you. Do not show that you are smarter, more beautiful and more modern than your interlocutor. Remember that politeness and modesty have always adorned a person.

Etiquette for a 21st century girl. Etiquette of a modern girl

Now we’ll talk in more detail about how a modern girl should behave in society, at work, at a party, when communicating with her man, with her friends, we’ll look at a girl’s clothing etiquette and decent behavior.

Speech etiquette for a girl

Let's start with the fact that speech etiquette for a girl is not a simple game of memorized phrases. You need to learn how to communicate correctly with people in order to win over your interlocutor. You don't need any special knowledge for this. It is enough that your speech is filled with politeness towards your interlocutor. When choosing a form of greeting, fill it with feelings, do not forget to show with all your appearance that meeting a person is really pleasant for you. You can say hello in different ways: kisses, handshakes or just a kind word. The main thing is that it be heard by those to whom it is addressed, and not by everyone around. There is no need to pause during a meeting.

Never be afraid to say hello first, even if the man in front of you is a stranger. Remember that the one who is better mannered says hello first.

Video: Features of speech etiquette

• Suppose you are invited to visit. There is no need to follow those rules that say “guests are always late.” It's not cultural. Moreover, such behavior is nothing more than disrespect for the owners of the house
• By the way, a cultured girl will not allow herself to be late for a business meeting, the theater, cinema, or even a meeting with her friend or work colleague
• When entering the house, be sure to greet all guests first. You should not check the rooms for cleanliness and run your eyes from one piece of furniture to another. Girls with good manners cannot afford such behavior
• While visiting, try not to talk on the phone. If someone calls you at this time, politely ask the guests to apologize and step aside. Explain to your interlocutor that you are currently visiting and as soon as you are free, you will certainly call him back

• Don’t look at your watch often – this can show your hosts that you are not interested in their place and are in a hurry to leave.

Etiquette rules for a girl on a date

• If a properly brought up girl with good manners does not allow herself to be late for a visit, work or a business meeting, then with a date the situation is a little different. But this is kind of an exception to the rule
• However, why do etiquette rules recommend that a girl be a little late for a meeting with a guy? It is believed that this is a kind of prevention for men
• While he is waiting to meet the girl he likes, he has the opportunity to weigh everything again, to be alone with his thoughts and intentions
• But you can only be slightly late for a date. If a guy waits too long for you, it may interpret this as disdain for him.

• If this is your first date, and naturally the guy will shower you with a lot of compliments, then you shouldn’t tell him about the efforts you make to look like this, where and how much you bought this outfit or mobile phone, etc. Remember speech etiquette for a girl and its basic rules.

Never call a guy yourself after the first date - he should show interest in you himself.

Clothes etiquette for girls

As the saying goes: “You’re greeted by your clothes, you’re seen off by your mind.” This stereotype has become a part of our lives and has not lost its relevance at all times. A girl’s correctly selected wardrobe indicates her level of education.

Important: Clothing should always be appropriate to the atmosphere of the event and its setting. A well-mannered girl will never allow herself to appear at a social event with bright makeup and a short leather skirt.

• Clothes should be beautiful. This rule applies not only to the wardrobe, which is intended for going out into society, but also for home
• A properly brought up girl will not allow herself to be in the house in an unkempt robe or nightgown, even an expensive one.
• Home clothes should be comfortable, simple, neat and beautiful. You should always look beautiful and well-groomed in order to receive a sudden guest or go out at any time

• Another rule is to cultivate a sense of tact and taste. Those girls who wear a lot of jewelry look defiant. There is one unwritten rule - wear no more than 13 jewelry. These include bracelets, earrings, chains, bright inserts, buttons, belts, etc.

An elegant woman is a good posture, which means a straight back, gently lowered shoulders, a tucked in stomach, straight legs at the knees, a raised chin and slightly bent elbows.

Restaurant etiquette rules for girls

Sooner or later, a moment comes in a girl’s life when she will be invited to dinner at a restaurant. The rules of restaurant etiquette begin right at the door of the establishment. The first person to enter a restaurant is always a man who approaches the metro-giver and inquires about the availability of seats. He must move the chair for the girl and help her sit down.

• At a restaurant table you need to sit with a flat wall, not lean your elbows or cross your legs. Never wear makeup during lunch or talk on the phone unless you have an important call. Ordering is a man's lot. A lady can only express her wishes and consult with a man
• In addition to the fact that a properly brought up girl knows what style of clothing to choose and how to apply makeup correctly, in a restaurant you will also be required to know how to properly arrange your handbag and umbrella
• What do the rules of etiquette say in this case? If you have a clutch, you can put it on the table or on a nearby empty chair. The same applies to small handbags. But with larger accessories you need to behave correctly - put them on public display, at least not tactfully. If possible, hang your bag over the back of a chair. Otherwise, you can put it under the table so that it does not interfere with you
• When entering a room, immediately close your umbrella, even if it is wet. You cannot leave an open umbrella at the entrance with the intention that it will dry out better this way. In each restaurant, special accessories are provided for this case that allow you to leave umbrellas in them - take advantage of this

How to accept gifts for a girl? How should a girl behave in a relationship?

• If you have a boyfriend, then behave with him the way you would like him to behave with you. Remember that, first of all, a guy wants to see femininity, understanding and beauty in his chosen one
• Ease and ease in behavior always attract a man, regardless of his status and age. Give him the opportunity to feel stronger around you. But by giving him the palm, do not lose your own dignity
• Learn to say “thank you” correctly! It is so customary in society that a man should please his woman with gifts. And how often you will receive them depends on how you accept his gift.
• To be honest, modern women have forgotten how to accept gifts in such a way as to inspire a man to do this as often as possible. Many of the women limit themselves to a dry “thank you,” or, at most, a kiss on the cheek
• But you must make sure that your man can also feel the joy of this event. Dry gratitude is not enough for him. He dreams of seeing delight in your eyes, joyful and sincere emotions

• Express your gratitude with many pleasant and warm words and do not forget to note his exquisite taste even if in fact you are not particularly delighted

Rules of business etiquette at work

A set of laws called etiquette exists not only in social life, but also in the business environment. This is a kind of passport to the world of business people and a standard of communication. It is customary to judge a person by his deeds, behavior and ability to build the right relationships in the business sphere.

Therefore, compliance with the rules of business etiquette at work plays a significant role. We can talk endlessly about this, but we will try to briefly describe to you the most important rules of etiquette:

1. Time is money. This means punctuality, respect for the interlocutor and his time. No person will enter into relationships with those who do not know how to plan their work day, sort out urgent and important matters and do not keep control over the course of all events

3. Dress code. Neat hairstyle, business attire and properly selected jewelry

4. Order on your desktop means order in your head

5. Workplace for work. It is not permissible to waste working time on gossip, empty conversations and chatting on the phone

6. Be able to listen and hear. Business etiquette involves hearing your opponent, and not just listening to him

7. A healthy atmosphere within the team, the basis of which is respectful and equal relationships between colleagues, goodwill and timely assistance if necessary

8. Maintain telephone etiquette. Telephone conversations in modern society are capable of establishing relationships between competitors and conducting negotiations correctly and in a timely manner. Telephone communication during business hours is permitted only for business purposes. Personal telephone calls are only permitted if absolutely necessary.

Calling etiquette rules

Phone calls have their time, just like business. A well-mannered person will not allow himself to disturb his friend with a phone call earlier than 8 a.m. and later than 10 p.m., unless this call has been agreed upon with him in advance.

• The rules of etiquette dictate that if the mobile connection is interrupted during a conversation, then the person who called the first time needs to call back
• If you are talking on the phone with a stranger, be sure to address him as “you”
• When you call, be sure to say hello and introduce yourself. When communicating, use only impersonal forms. It is not ethical to address the subscriber with words such as “girl”, “young man”, “woman”
• Be sure to answer business calls within the first three rings. If you are calling, it is not customary to wait longer than six rings for the call. A business conversation cannot last more than 5 minutes
• If you expect a longer conversation, be sure to ask the subscriber if he has the opportunity to devote 20-30 minutes to you, for example
• If you are in a restaurant, put your mobile phone in your bag or pocket. Never put it on the table
• It is not civilized to write messages or “sit” on a social network while communicating with a real interlocutor
• Never answer someone else's phone

Etiquette rules for girls in society

Not only the girl, but also everyone around her must follow the rules of behavior in society. It is known that society influences a person’s character. Therefore, if you decide to learn good manners, then you cannot part with them in any society, regardless of its level.

A decent girl will not allow herself to “fall face down in honest company,” but, on the contrary, will conquer those around her with her manners, appearance and upbringing.

• Never respond to the greeting "good afternoon" with a short word - "good
  Behave in a calm, polite and courteous manner
• When leaving the room, try to hold the door for the person following you
• If the rules of etiquette in society allow a girl to wear a hat and gloves indoors, then you must take off your winter mittens and hat
• The rules of etiquette prohibit everyone, without exception, from swearing, speaking loudly, discussing, laughing and gossiping

Etiquette rules for girls in company

Video: How to communicate beautifully? Rules of etiquette

Etiquette rules for girls with parents

Sooner or later in every girl's life there comes a time when a guy introduces her to his parents. This is always exciting for a girl and she tries in every possible way to make the best impression of herself. But don't overdo it!

• Etiquette rules recommend remaining yourself, behaving calmly and civilly.
• Don’t show your parents your excitement, but you also don’t need to hide it by randomly twisting the ring on your finger or straightening your hair.
• When meeting for the first time, you should not take the initiative in the conversation - behave modestly and correctly, and sincerely answer your parents’ questions. Try not to talk about yourself unless you are asked to do so.
• Spread out a glass of alcohol at the table throughout the evening and don’t fall for your future father-in-law’s tricks of pouring alcohol on
• Don't refuse treats. Moreover, admire their taste
• Do not bring any animals as a gift. It is also not customary to give perfume, underwear and cosmetics until you really get to know your parents’ taste.
• Don't stay up late. When leaving, be sure to invite the groom's parents to visit in return.
• Simplicity and naturalness are the main rules of a modern and properly raised girl. First of all, you need to respect yourself and be yourself. Then you won’t have to hide your complexes, laugh loudly in the theater or cinema, or avoid communicating with your loved ones
• Simply, if something surprises you, be surprised; if it makes you happy, smile! But for yourself, not for others. Then those around you will be able to immediately notice this sweet creature, with a bright and clean face, open, kind and well-mannered

How can a girl learn good manners?
Rules of social life for a girl

In conclusion, let's list 20 rules of female etiquette.

1. Always be neat and tidy
   2. Do not wear more than 13 decorations, including bright buttons
   3. Avoid talking about money, health, politics and religion at the table.
   4. Don’t go on a visit without calling
   5. Do not dry the umbrella open in the office, at a party or in a restaurant.
   6. Do not use plastic bags from the supermarket as bags.
   7. Do not place your bag on your lap or on your chair.
   8. A handbag is for ladies, not men.
   9. Do not wear a hat and mittens indoors
   10. The man always enters the elevator first, and the one standing closest to the door exits.
   11. Do not discuss people who are not present in the company
   12. Address people over 12 years old as “you”
   13. Before opening the door of the room, be sure to knock
   14. Do not place your mobile phone on a table in a public place
   15. Do not write an SMS message while talking with a real interlocutor
   16. In a concert hall or a movie theater, walk towards those sitting
   17. You can’t laugh loudly and announce publicly that you’re on a diet.
   18. Observe speech etiquette
   19. In a restaurant, the one who says the phrase “I invite you” pays off.
   20. Be punctual and open to conversation

Etiquette rules - how to make an unforgettable impression

Ticketing is a rather complex science, which is fraught with a number of features. The main subtlety is that the rules of etiquette do not always make absolute sense. It all depends on the place, time and circumstances. Having comprehended these rules, each person will be able to avoid awkward situations.

A review article on the topic of etiquette rules will give a general idea of ​​this concept. We will help you navigate different life circumstances when you need to show your best qualities in communication and behavior.

Etiquette concept

The historical roots of the very concept of “etiquette” lead to France. In a general sense, this term denotes a set of requirements assigned to a particular culture that are imposed on human behavior in each individual situation.

According to the dictionary interpretation, etiquette- these are generally accepted rules of behavior in society, established forms of treatment. The practical essence of etiquette is that it allows people to use ready-made rules behavior, manners and forms communication with different people.

First rule of etiquette

For over 40 years, World Greetings Day has been celebrated annually. It is not without reason that this event receives such attention. The fact is that greetings- this is the first rule of etiquette.

If communication takes place face to face, then you cannot do without a smile. The first impression leaves a deep impression, and there may not be another time to correct your opinion about yourself. Since ancient times, evading greetings has been considered a clear example of bad manners.

Communication etiquette

Etiquette is a tool that allows you to achieve what you want from communicating with loved ones, friends or colleagues. To do this, you need to understand certain rules and use them in practice.

Any communication should begin with a polite greeting and competent address. Even if the conversation is tiring or uninteresting, you need to show attention to the interlocutor. In this case, you will gain his favor and maintain a pleasant impression of yourself.

Details speech etiquette We have outlined it in detail in, let’s just add a few more words about a concept that is relevant today - the rules of talking on the phone.

Telephone etiquette

Even the shortest conversation on the phone should be conducted in accordance with generally accepted rules of etiquette, be it of a business or domestic nature. Today, almost everyone has a mobile phone in their pocket. Therefore, the culture of telephone communication lives and develops with the times.

Communication has always brought people together, even if it's just a phone conversation. Such a conversation should fit within the framework telephone etiquette. It is important not to forget the words of greeting and farewell, to be able to clearly express thoughts and stop in time, giving the floor to your interlocutor.

Etiquette standards are studied from school and throughout life. Companies that care about their reputation even conduct special training for employees on how to communicate over the phone. When carrying out business negotiations, not only the personal authority of the speaker is at stake, but also the image of the organization.

Behavior rules

A person does not go beyond the sociocultural space throughout his life. Thanks to the installed rules of conduct, he maintains normal relationships with others. This is important for every educated person.

Mutual respect can be earned by adhering to the rules of politeness. Non-conflict people show restraint and do not allow harshness and rudeness in their behavior. They try to avoid even the slightest conflicts and absurd situations, using the basics of etiquette science every day.

True benevolence, unselfishness, sensitivity, politeness and tact are the main qualities of a person on which good behavior is built. They are important at all stages of communication and relationships. Such qualities will allow you to soothe mental pain, smooth out resentment and prevent grief at all.

Good manners

Mastering good manners enriches a person's spiritual beauty. They are directly related to proper upbringing. Such manners are manifested in gait, clothing, facial expressions, intonation, actions, and treatment of people.

A cultured person must be able to behave with restraint, modestly, tactfully and attentively towards others. He must be responsible for his words and actions. These are the key qualities on which good manners are built. And they, in turn, are regulated by etiquette. This is their subtle connection.

At one time, Goethe compared a person’s manners to a mirror reflecting his portrait. These words have not lost their meaning and relevance in the modern world. People around them notice everything, they judge a person by their behavior, which sometimes reveals more than they would like. To be at your best, you need to keep an eye on your manners.

Table etiquette

When going to a gala event or a family dinner, a romantic date in a cafe or a business meeting in a restaurant, it is important not to forget about good manners and table etiquette rules. A cultured person should know them so as not to lose face.

Table etiquette is determined by a number of features and national traditions, but we must at least remember the generally accepted rules. The culture of behavior at the table seriously affects the impression of a person. The inability to eat, take food or drink correctly can turn you away from communicating with such a person.

Modern table etiquette rules are available to everyone. They reveal the purpose and use of serving items and regulate norms of behavior during meals. Mastery of this difficult science will allow you to feel much more confident at any table.

Etiquette at a party

It may seem that being a guest is easy and fun. In fact, to become a welcome guest, you need to be able to behave beautifully, that is, to respect guest etiquette. Every educated person should learn its instructions and subtleties. It is not for nothing that the term “persona non grata” is widely used, which literally means an unwanted guest.

You need to be able to arrive at the appointed time, in a good mood, and not empty-handed. You also need to leave on time, with gratitude for the invitation and warm welcome. It is important to be able to behave with dignity in any environment and company.

Norms and rules of etiquette

The norms and rules of etiquette have been honed over centuries. Changes are made to them by different peoples who honor their national and cultural traditions. Despite this, there are generally accepted guidelines for behavior and communication between people.

Every well-mannered person sets himself the task of not only becoming familiar with the rules and norms of etiquette, but also trying to follow them. This is an important component of an individual's internal culture.

Basic rules of etiquette

The treasury of etiquette rules never ceases to be filled with the development of society. In it you can find norms and rules of behavior for all occasions. Every self-respecting person should know at least the basic ones. In this article we only give an overview of the concept of “rules of etiquette”; you can easily find specific examples on the Internet.

Following key ethical rules simplifies interactions and generally makes life in society easier. Compliance with them allows a person to show his good manners and education.

Rules of good etiquette

Following the rules of decency does not mean at all that someone should dance to someone else’s tune. A person who truly respects himself and others will try to adhere to rules of good etiquette so as not to cause inconvenience to yourself and other people. To do this, it is enough to master simple and useful rules of good manners. Then not only your personal life, but also the surrounding reality will become more beautiful and kinder.

Applying the rules of good etiquette is a guaranteed success. They will help you quickly establish good contact, evoke the right reaction and generally feel confident.

Rules of etiquette in society

A person, being a social being, must behave in society with dignity, guided by the rules of etiquette. They are aimed at making behavior natural and not feigned.

Sincere feelings have always been valuable. To express them, every member of society must strive for self-improvement. Inner harmony of a person is achieved by combining high morality with exemplary manners, which arise from the rules of etiquette in society.

Etiquette for girls, men, children

Today, we rarely remember the times of chivalry and how nobly real heroes treated women. Where can you find such gentlemen now? You can only see them on the silver screen rather than meet them in real life. Real ladies are also rare today. A girl with refined manners is a rare guest in our area.

The fact is that the weaker sex today communicates with men on equal terms. And representatives of the stronger sex are afraid or do not know how to demonstrate their gallantry. Gender differences are disappearing, but the rules of etiquette for today's girls and men are no less relevant than in ancient times.

The subtleties of graceful manners are important not only for adults, but also for children. They will help convey the correct model of behavior in society. The child will be able to communicate without difficulty with peers, family and strangers. Having mastered the rules of good manners, children will learn to behave at school, at the table, and in the cinema. Their social adaptation to adulthood will occur painlessly.

Office etiquette

Office etiquette is a set of appropriate rules established in work groups in order to determine the behavior of employees. These rules correspond to moral and moral principles. Compliance with the prescribed requirements must be mandatory for both managers and subordinates.

Rules of office etiquette are important for maintaining a normal working climate and increasing labor productivity. Their implementation is of fundamental importance for stable and fruitful cooperation with clients and partners.

Office etiquette prescribes requirements for behavior not only within one’s team, but also when collaborating with external entities. When maintaining business communication with foreign partners, you need to know their rules of etiquette, traditions and customs. Only such relationships can become long-term beneficial for both parties.

We spoke in general terms about the rules of etiquette and the components of this concept for different aspects of a person’s life. It is appropriate to consider the details of good manners in different circumstances separately, in detail, for each situation. It is impossible to reflect the rules of behavior in all their subtleties in one material. Therefore, we consider this article to be a starting point into the world of etiquette and will use it as content for subsequent articles on this topic.

Article added: 0000-00-00

"Greetings

Greeting is the most common custom in our daily life, requiring a great sense of tact, good manners and friendliness.

Any conversation begins with a greeting; there are many forms of greeting, and each form has its own origin.

How to greet?
Who greets first?
Who and where to greet?

The general rule of greeting when meeting: the younger ones greet the elders first, the men greet the women first, exceptions to this rule: the one who enters the room, be it a man or a woman, is the first to greet those present, the one leaving is the first to say goodbye to those remaining.

If there are several people in the room, they greet first the mistress of the house, then other women, then the owner and other men.

When greeting a man, the woman offers her hand first. If she limits herself to bowing, then the man should not extend his hand to her. The same thing happens between older and younger men.

Men always stand (with the exception of the very elderly and sick who find it difficult to rise), greeting both women and men.

A woman does not stand up when greeting a man; greeting the woman, he stands up. Exceptions: the mistress of the house, when receiving guests, always stands up to greet them; women also stand up to greet very elderly men.

After greeting his peer, the man can sit down. If he greets an older man or woman, he should sit down only after they sit down, or with their permission. If the mistress of the house offers to sit down, but she continues to stand, you should not sit down.

It was not customary (and even now most people continue to refrain from doing so) to say hello and goodbye across the threshold, across the table, or through any partition.

However, in recent years, even at the highest levels, leaders of countries or governments have shaken hands across a table or some kind of barrier. The chiefs of the protocol departments of the foreign ministries refrain from commenting on this matter.

Who greets whom first under “equal conditions” (age, gender, social status)? To answer this question, perhaps we should recall the clause in the French military regulations, which states that among officers of equal rank, when meeting, the more well-mannered one greets first. In fact, this is the only correct solution to the issue not only for the military, but also for civilians.

Not accepting the hand extended to you means inflicting a grave insult on the one who offered it: this is done only in relation to persons who are considered either extremely unworthy or extremely hostile.

If you are wearing gloves, then when greeting, you need to take off the glove, the exception is for women who greet men: they do not take off the glove.

Naturally, women’s hands are not kissed in such cases. The custom of kissing women's hands is more widespread in the West than here. It is preserved in cases where, depending on certain circumstances (anniversary, awards, etc.), they want to emphasize special respect and affection for a woman.

The kiss should be “symbolic”, expressed in a completely light touch of the lips on the hand. Juicy "smacking" is considered vulgar. Both in the West and here they don’t kiss girls’ hands. It is also not customary to kiss a hand when meeting on the street. During receptions, guests only kiss the hand of the hostess.

Introduction when meeting

As a general rule, you should always introduce people you know to each other if they approach you while you are talking to someone and if those you are talking to do not know them.

Presentation order: First you name the one who is younger in age (if the age is the same - by position, if the position is equal - the one who comes up), introducing him to the older one, and then you introduce the older one to the younger one.

If a man and a woman are introduced, they introduce the man first, then the woman. To do the opposite is considered very incorrect.

Exception: If a young woman is introduced to a very old man, the woman is introduced first.

When presented they are called: first name, patronymic, last name, sometimes - if required - a brief indication of social status is added (engineer, doctor, teacher, etc.). Naturally, when meeting very famous people - writers, artists, scientists, etc. - this addition is omitted: it would show that you consider the person to whom you are introducing the “celebrity” to be a very ignorant person.

If you want to meet someone present during meetings, exhibitions, or other ceremonies, it is better if you are introduced to that person by someone who knows both you and the person you want to meet. If there are no such people, then you are allowed to introduce yourself, but this can only be done in exceptional cases, the importance of which would justify such a departure from etiquette, with the obligatory observance of the necessary “distances” (for example, it would be immodest for an ordinary engineer to introduce himself to the minister, etc. .), so as not to risk encountering even very polite bewilderment.

However, self-representations are permitted in practice. In such cases, you should first apologize, then, having identified yourself, indicate your position or profession and, if the attitude towards you is favorable, briefly state the reason that made you ask for a few minutes.

When you are asked to introduce someone you know, then in many cases (except for those in which you have absolutely no doubt) it is better to first find out the attitude of the person you want to meet to this proposed acquaintance; such a procedure will protect you from possible reproaches and discontent from those who did not at all want to acquire these acquaintances.

You are visiting and you have guests

First of all, a general rule: people go on a visit only by invitation, even if they say to you: “We are always glad to see you” or - moreover: “You are always a welcome guest”, elementary politeness requires that the day and hour of your visit to your friends or friends were previously agreed upon with them, exceptions to this rule can only be allowed in relation to close relatives and very large “bosom” friends. But it is also necessary to observe tact in relation to them and, if a meeting is desirable or necessary, try to warn about it in advance.

You also cannot bring your friends, acquaintances, or children to visit without prior agreement. They don’t take their “four-legged friends” with them when visiting. Hosts, in turn, should spare guests from the presence of their pets - not everyone likes it when a dog sniffs them or licks their hands or a cat climbs onto their lap or shoulder.

You need to come to visit as close as possible to the agreed time: come earlier - the hostess does not have everything ready, and she herself is not yet dressed for receiving guests; come later - everything may get cold, burnt, etc., and her pleasure the guests' food will be ruined.

You don’t bring your bad mood to visit if you know that you are the only one or the most desirable among other guests and if due to some exceptional circumstances, anything can happen! - hopelessly depressed, bad mood - it is better to call or come to those who invited you 15 minutes before the appointed time, explain the situation and apologize to those who invited you for the inability to accept their invitation for that day. They will understand you, because most people, when receiving guests or going on a visit, do not expect and give preference to a rich and tasty table, but are looking for an interesting conversation, a lively exchange of opinions, human warmth and friendship.

A good custom is to bring flowers when you come to visit, which the hostess should place in a visible place. Less often they bring small gifts - a book, a toy for children, etc.

The issue of children when receiving guests is very important. You can bring children with you to visit only by agreement with the inviters. On the other hand, when receiving guests in the presence of your children, you need to be aware that your, perhaps legitimate, admiration for their talents should not necessarily be shared by the guests. Therefore, there are fewer stories about their abilities, and even less demonstrations of them.

If your child is naughty or does something wrong in front of guests, do not punish him in front of them. Without noise and abuse, he must be removed, without including guests in the process of education (the latter is permissible only in cases of very close acquaintance and friendship between families).

You should not allow children to interfere in the conversation, interrupt elders, whisper something “secretly” in your ear, or pester guests with questions or their stories if they are not invited to do so.

When you come to visit your children, do not allow them to run around the apartment without permission, climb with their feet on the sofa, armchairs (you need to wean them off this at home), open drawers, rearrange things, etc.

Other people's children should not be reprimanded in front of their parents.
A polite guest “does not notice” what may be unpleasant to him, what may seem wrong in the behavior of the hosts. He does not interfere in disagreements that may arise between them, does not take the side of any of them. In turn, tactful, polite hosts do not invite guests to be arbiters in their affairs.

Invitations to guests should be made at least a week before the meeting: everyone may be busy, everyone’s time may be “scheduled” many days in advance, and you should not be offended if your invitation is politely answered that “unfortunately” for one reason or another, it cannot be accepted on the day you proposed.

Of course, you should not invite people at the same time that you know do not like each other. If you do not know about the nature of the relationship between those invited, it is better to inform each of them about who they are going to meet.

Verbal invitations (at work, at a meeting in the theater, etc.) should not be made in the presence of other people you know whom you do not invite. You should also not talk about the “wonderful evening” you spent with one of your mutual friends, in the presence of those who also know the hosts of this “wonderful evening”, but were not invited to it.

Conversations when receiving guests should be tried to be general, to maintain the atmosphere of participation of all invitees, but no one should be forcibly “drawn” into the conversation.

The host needs to be prepared to play the role of “chairman of the meeting”: if you notice that among the invitees there is a danger of talking about a topic that is obviously undesirable for anyone, you need to try to give the conversation a different direction. You can’t give ready-made recipes here - it’s a matter of your tact and experience.

You should not support or develop unfavorable reviews about absent mutual acquaintances. You should try to stop such conversations at the very beginning of their occurrence with some joke or distracting remark.

With my wife when invited - no arguments, no sugary tenderness. Do not exchange a “understanding” look with her in case of any awkwardness or mistake made by any of the invitees. Do not exchange remarks in a foreign language if the guest does not know it - this is especially offensive for him: everyone knows that “secular people” did this in front of their servants, so as not to be understood by them.

PRESENT

The custom, widespread throughout the world, of giving gifts to each other on various occasions, is beautiful in its human essence: to bring joy, pleasure to another, to bring him some benefit or help.

However, this is precisely why the choice of gifts must be treated with great attention and tact, otherwise, instead of joy and pleasure, you can cause, at best, bewilderment or annoyance in the person who received the gift from you. After all, you need to remember that in most cases gifts are symbolic or utilitarian in nature, so if you give a woman a bottle of alcohol and an old man heavy dumbbells, this will be perceived as a mockery. Of course, this is an extreme example of the tactlessness of giving gifts, but remember, have you ever witnessed when the recipient of a gift has a puzzled look on his face, meaning: “What should I do with this?”

It is relatively easier to give gifts to people whose tastes, habits, inclinations or needs you know well. In these cases, you can rarely make a mistake, and it’s all about your material capabilities. BUT how can you guess the tastes, inclinations, and needs of people you don’t know well? Here the main role should be played by your observation in relation to those to whom you want to give something. You need to take care in advance to draw conclusions about their hobbies and lifestyle based on individual statements and comments. You can get some information about this from their good friends (of course, not by asking, but by fragmentary remarks, remarks, etc.). You can’t just ask those to whom the gift is intended what they would like to receive. Such questions are allowed only in relation to children, and even then only of preschool age.

The worst thing when choosing a gift is to focus on your own taste: it can be very far from the taste of the person you want to please.

They say that books and flowers are unmistakably good gifts. However, when making these gifts, you need to be tactful and be sure to take into account the age, gender, profession, etc. of the person receiving the gifts. In the West (and here too), a married man does not give flowers to a girl, and a woman does not give flowers to a man. As for books, we can advise: firstly, you should not give books whose contents are unknown to you, and secondly, the nature of the books should also be correlated with the individual data of the gift recipient (gender, age, interests, etc.).

You should not give very expensive gifts to your acquaintances - they put the recipients in an awkward position: after all, it is customary for “ordinary acquaintances” to respond to gifts with approximately the same response, and not everyone has the opportunity to give an expensive gift.

You should first remove (if possible) the price indicator from the gifts you bring - they are undesirable in all cases.

All gifts (except flowers) are given or sent closed.

When a gift is given in person, the recipient must reveal it in the presence of the giver, unless someone (not a family member of the giver or recipient) who has not made the gift is present.

When receiving any gift, they are grateful for it, even in cases of disappointment or annoyance.

If the gift given to you is a household item, in the future, do not miss the opportunity when meeting with the giver to show that you are using it: this will give him great pleasure, and this, in turn, is a good gift (not excluding, however, expression and response material gratitude).

At the table

The ability to behave properly at the table and eat gracefully has always been considered one of the criteria by which a person’s general cultural level was judged.

Over time, this table etiquette underwent certain changes: some rules died out, new ones appeared, but the basic norms that will be discussed remained unchanged.

Knowing these rules will help you navigate correctly in all situations related not only to sitting at a table, but also to participating in official and friendly receptions at various levels, as well as in your daily practice.

Often, especially now, when business relations with foreign firms and enterprises are developing, people have to deal with unfamiliar dishes, types of service, etc. After all, each country has its own culinary characteristics and its own methods of serving guests.

The most reliable recommendations in cases where you have to encounter something hitherto unknown - take your time, carefully observe how your hosts or more experienced table neighbors “manage” this unknown. By doing this, you will rarely make a mistake. But even if you made it, don’t be overly upset: such mistakes of “newbies” are treated with due understanding.

In general, the basic rules of “table” etiquette in our country do not differ from those adopted in most countries of the world.

When you sit down at the table, you should first of all pay attention to your posture. No matter how beautifully the table is decorated and set, no matter how elegantly dressed those sitting at it are, their careless, sloppy poses will too clearly disrupt the harmony of the overall picture.

If you are sitting upright, but not tense, leaning lightly on the back of a chair that is not so close to the table that you have an involuntary urge to rest your elbows on the table, but not so far away that you have to use your whole body while eating dexterity so as not to drop on the floor what should be in your mouth, you will feel how from this alone your movements at the table will become natural and relaxed and you will feel simple and comfortable.

An exception to this rule can be made if you are talking with a person sitting opposite you and, due to a loud orchestra playing or noise, you cannot hear your interlocutor. In this case, when you lean forward, you will lean on your elbows placed on the table. However, this is only permissible when the food has not yet been served.

If a woman is sitting next to you, you should help her sit down - pull out a chair, wait until she sits down (and she can sit down only after the mistress of the house sits down), until all the other women and the “main guest” sit down (he is always on the right from the hostess), then sit down with the other men present.

Place the napkin. Very old people still remember the times when they tucked it into the collar of their shirt (hence the expression “tuck it in the tie” that remained in the language, which meant drinking heavily). Now in our country and in the West, both women and men place the napkin on their knees, where it remains until the end of the ceremony. It is not customary to wipe your lips firmly with a napkin. It is only lightly applied to them before drinking wine or water, so as not to leave greasy marks on the glass. Before leaving the table, the napkin should be placed on the right side of the plate, and if the plate is removed, then in the center. In this case, there is no need to carefully fold the napkin; it is enough to place it in such a way that it does not unfold and does not fall off the table.

The food begins to be served from the lady sitting on the right hand of the owner. Food and cigarettes are served from the left hand, soups and drinks from the right. They take napkins from the right.

When the food is served to everyone present, the hostess, starting first, thereby indicates that it is possible to start eating. If there are many guests at the table, there is no need to wait until everyone is bending over the plate. In this case, the food will cool down and lose its taste. Therefore, after three or four people have been served, the hostess invites them to start eating. If for some reason the hostess does not do this, then it will not be wrong if you, noticing that five or six people have been served, start eating. However, etiquette allows you to do this only after the women sitting next to you have started eating.

If you are serving national food or a dish that you have never tried and you don’t know which way to approach it, see how the hostess handles it. It will not be a violation of etiquette if you ask the hostess about what this dish is made from and how to eat it correctly. It is possible that this dish was served specifically to introduce guests to the peculiarities of national cuisine. Your questions in this case will be very helpful.
If you drop a knife or fork, do not try to pick it up. Ask for another device. Not only in this case, but also in all others, when you have made a mistake, do not apologize or try to correct it by attracting the attention of others.

If anyone present at the table makes a mistake, try not to pay attention to it, and especially do not try to “help” the offender by talking about how you or someone you know once committed an offense that ended more sadly, since it was flooded not only the tablecloth, but also the hostess’s dress was damaged, and serious damage was caused to the family set.

If minor offenses associated with awkward, careless movements can be forgiven, then actions that lead, even through ignorance or forgetfulness, to violations of the basic rules of behavior at the table, can cause the most serious complications.

So, it is not customary to smoke at the table until coffee is served. Many guests may find the smell of smoke unpleasant. In addition, smoking interferes with the full perception of the taste of the food served. Therefore, smoking at the table is considered a sign of disrespect for the hosts, a demonstration of disdain for their efforts spent on preparing dinner.

A gentle reminder to guests that the hosts do not welcome smoking during lunch is the absence of ashtrays on the table before coffee is served.

The breakfast menu consists of one or two cold dishes, one hot fish dish, one hot meat dish, dessert, coffee or tea. As a rule, first courses (soups) are not served for breakfast, but including them on the menu would not be a mistake. The lunch menu differs from the breakfast menu in that soup is served after cold appetizers.

The table is set accordingly. The fork to the far left of the plate is for appetizers, to the right of it, closer to the plate, is a fork for fish dishes, and finally, next to the plate is a fork for meat dishes. The soup spoon lies to the right of the plate. To the left of it, in the same order as the forks, a knife for appetizers, a knife for fish dishes and a knife for meat dishes are placed respectively. Knives are placed with the blade facing the plate, which is said to be associated with some rather interesting historical traditions. In the era of feudalism, weapons were used easily and often. Therefore, in order not to darken the atmosphere of the feast, as a reminder of the need to restrain passions, as well as a symbol of peaceful intentions, the blades of the knives were turned not towards the neighbor, but towards the plates.

The forks are placed with the tip up, and the spoon with the bulge down, so that the tines of the fork and the sharp edges of the spoon do not spoil the tablecloth.

There are never more than three pairs of knives and forks on the table. If necessary, some dishes are additionally served with knives, forks and other serving items. For example, for dishes of oysters and crabs you will be given a special small fork, and for fruit - a fruit fork and a fruit knife. Directly behind the plate, parallel to the edge of the table, lies a dessert spoon and a teaspoon.

If butter is served, the knife for it lies on a small bread saucer, which is placed on the left side of the plate. Utensils for salt and pepper are also placed on the left side of the plate, but a little closer to the center -

The napkin is placed on the plate. It can be placed next to it only if, even before the guests are seated at the table, it is necessary to put some food on the plate. If a napkin is placed next to the plate, then, according to etiquette experts, this will indicate a very immodest intention of the owners to demonstrate the beauty of the service, which can cause negative emotions in guests, equivalent to those that appear at the sight of a gold ring worn over a glove.

At official breakfasts and lunches, both here and in the West, it is customary to serve guests with second and third (and sometimes more) courses twice. This must be kept in mind in order to decide for yourself the question: is it possible to leave part of the food uneaten? If you liked it and would like to be offered it again, then, having finished the first “portion”, place the knife (right) and fork (left) with sharp ends on your plate: this is a sign to the wait staff so that in the case of a second After serving this dish, it was again offered to you. If you did not like the dish or were satisfied with its quantity, then you should put the knife and fork together in the plate on the right - this means that during the second take-out you will not take this food.

If you liked the food, then during the second round, both here and in the West, for the most part, they do not hesitate to take “a little more.”

It is considered extremely impolite to talk at the table about your tastes - what you like and what you don’t, and dietary prescriptions made to you by your doctor, about the impact of certain food ingredients on your health, etc.

"They're not late for the meal!" - this ancient rule is very firmly adhered to, not only during official ceremonies. Housewives all over the world really don’t like it when guests are late for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

Ask them - they will tell you the reason for this. Late arrivals must not exceed the official protocol limit of 15 minutes. After a half-hour wait, you have no right to be offended if they sit at the table without you or if you are not offered a dish that has already been passed around to the guests: you have broken the “conveyor” along which the guests are served. The rule followed by the ancient Romans remains in force: “Tarde venietibus ossa” (“Bone for those who are late!”). Yes, and the place assigned to you “according to rank” at the table may be occupied by another guest, and you should also take this without offense, as a fair punishment. In general, delays in such cases are regarded everywhere as signs of disorganization, lack of concentration of the person who allowed them and his disrespectful attitude towards the people dealing with him.

Arriving at an invitation earlier than the stipulated time is considered equally impolite: the hostess may not have everything ready, “her mouth is full of trouble,” and she has to receive guests and take time off from unfinished business. For housewives, this version of guests’ negligence is even worse than the first.

The conversation at the table should be conducted with both neighbors, without giving preference to one of them. If you find yourself next to people you don't know, you can introduce yourself to them.

It is considered extremely impolite to consider whether plates, glasses, etc. are clean, and completely unacceptable to wipe them with a napkin or handkerchief. If the dishes seem to you (and even are in fact) not clean enough, bear with it, without wincing or showing the slightest signs of dissatisfaction, just draw the necessary conclusions for yourself in case of repeated invitations to this house.

You should take the same stoic position if you find anything inedible in your food (a sliver of wood, a hair, etc.), which, by the way, can happen even “in the best houses of Philadelphia.” “Under no circumstances show the slightest sign of your feelings.If you do not want to acquire an irreconcilable enemy in the person of the hostess, move the “find” to the edge of the plate, cover it with a side dish - and continue the meal as if nothing had happened.

The serving of alcoholic beverages is subject to certain rules.

Cold appetizers are served with pre-chilled liqueurs or vodka. As a rule, alcoholic drinks are not served with soup, but an exception may be made for sherry. The fish dish is accompanied by chilled dry white wine, and the meat dish is accompanied by dry red wine at room temperature (15*-18* C). Chilled champagne or dessert wines are served with dessert, and cognac or liqueur is served with coffee.

Thus, each dish is accompanied by the appropriate type of wine. It is unacceptable to demand that wines be served according to your personal taste. A person who violates this rule inevitably creates a reputation for himself as an uncultured, ill-mannered person.

If an informal lunch or breakfast is being held, for example, in a restaurant, where only a few guests are present, then the host either draws up the menu himself and makes an order in advance, or, at the request of those present, orders the dishes that they have chosen. In both cases, the number and range of dishes may not coincide with the menu for formal lunches and breakfasts.

Before starting such a lunch or breakfast, the organizer may also ask those present what drinks they prefer. Expressing your personal opinion, you can refuse alcoholic drinks and ask for juice or mineral water. It will not be a violation of the rules of etiquette if you say that you prefer, for example, red wine, and throughout the entire dinner you will drink only that.

Excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages has always been considered unworthy of a well-mannered person. It is not for nothing that the rules of conduct developed under Catherine II emphasized that at the table one should “eat sweet and tasty, and drink with moderation, so that everyone can always find their feet when leaving the door.”

A person familiar with the rules of etiquette will not try to ensure that his guest drinks too much wine against his own wishes. If your neighbor does not drink this or that proposed drink, you should not find out the reason for this behavior, offer to replace the drink, or look for disrespect in this way towards you personally or the owners.

You should not drink wine when your mouth is full of food.

Toasts at formal dinners or breakfasts are made only after dessert has been served, when champagne has been poured.

At informal dinners, as well as at other receptions, toasts may be made more often, but, as a rule, not earlier than ten to fifteen minutes after the start of the reception. After making a toast, there is no need to drink all the wine poured into the glass. It is enough to raise the glass above the table, bring it to your mouth, sip lightly or drink a little wine from it.

It is not customary to clink glasses at formal dinners. In general, you should not overuse clinking glasses. The custom of clinking glasses arose in those distant times when it was not considered a serious sin to add poison to the glasses of guests or neighbors at the table. Therefore, in order to assure the guests of his peacefulness, the host not only poured some wine into his glass first and drank it, but all the guests during the feast repeatedly “exchanged wine,” that is, poured from their glass into the glass of their neighbor, and then symbolically connected the glasses - clinked glasses.

Nowadays, the threat of poisoning is not so urgent, but the process of clinking glasses can complicate the course of the feast, especially if there is someone who wants to “combine” his glass with the glasses of all the numerous guests. In any case, when clinking glasses, do not extend your hand far beyond the table. If they clink glasses after a toast, the man should hold his glass lower than the woman’s.

Wine, rum, cognac, liqueur are drunk in small sips, slowly. Only vodka can be drunk straight to the bottom.

When pouring drinks, hold the bottle with your whole hand at the level of the label so that the index finger is on the neck. When lifting the bottle, you need to turn it a little so that the wine does not drip onto the tablecloth.

From a full bottle, first pour into your glass. At a reception, before pouring wine into the guests' glasses, one of the waiters pours a little wine into the host's glass. After tasting the wine and coming to the conclusion that the quality of the wine is good, the owner gives permission to the waiters to pour wine into the guests’ glasses.

Many foreign restaurants have a similar rule. Having opened the ordered bottle of wine and filled the glass, the waiter waits until the visitor tastes the wine and nods his head to indicate that he is satisfied with its quality. Otherwise, the waiter is obliged to replace the bottle.

Drinks are poured into glasses and glasses standing on the table. However, in some cases, for example in Japan, when offering a drink, they wait until the visitor or guest raises his glass, thereby confirming his desire to drink this or that drink. When refusing alcoholic beverages, you should not cover the glass with your hand, any object, or demonstratively turn it over.

Drink glasses are placed on the right side of the plate in one line one after another, starting to the left of the largest one. However, in order to make the table setting look more elegant, a free arrangement of glasses is often used, in which the rule is observed: large glasses should not cover smaller ones. For example, a water glass will be located directly above the knives, a champagne glass a short distance to the right of it, wine glasses will be located between these two glasses closer to the plate, a vodka glass will be located directly above the soup spoon.

The stronger the drink, the smaller the glass or shot glass into which it is poured. Therefore, vodka and liqueurs are poured into small glasses. It is customary to pour cognac little by little into large glasses that taper towards the top. The aroma of the drink is better felt in them. Tulip-shaped glasses are used for wines, but unlike dessert wine glasses, dry wine glasses are larger, with a wider top and a longer stem.

For any wine, medium-sized, transparent, unpainted glass glasses can also be used. Stained glass glasses are used only for white wine. A champagne glass can be of two types - either narrow and tall with a long stem, or a wide and low bowl.

Rules for handling knives, forks, spoons, etc. have been developed over many years, and their main purpose is not, as many believe, to entangle the process of eating with numerous prim formalities. Compliance with these rules, and this is confirmed by practice, allows you to use cutlery most rationally, as well as harmoniously distribute human movements when eating.

Let us dwell on the description of only the basic rules observed when eating.

Soups served in deep soup bowls. However, broth and cream of soup are usually served in a cup with one or two handles. They begin to eat the broth and puree soup with a spoon, lightly holding the handle of the cup with their left hand. Once the soup has cooled sufficiently, you can lift the cup by the handle and drink the soup directly from the cup. When lifting a cup, you should not stick your finger into the eye of the handle or stick out your little finger.

To cool the soup, do not blow into the plate, cup or spoon. Stir the soup lightly with a spoon until it cools down.

They try to prepare the soup in such a way that it does not contain ingredients that cannot be completely put into the mouth. However, if you still come across large pieces of vegetables, dumplings, dumplings, etc., they are carefully crushed with a spoon.

Minor difficulties are usually encountered when a little soup remains in the plate and every contact of the spoon with the plate begins to serve as a source of unpleasant sounds. How should you eat soup in such a situation? The most common answer, in a half-joking manner, recommends tilting the plate away from you in the case when you are not very concerned about preserving the tablecloth, but are very careful about your costume. If the suit is less valuable to you than the tablecloth, you tilt the plate towards you. In truth, the Solomon solution is to leave the soup uneaten.

There is no need to dramatize the consequences that tilting a plate can cause. Therefore, when there is not much soup left in the plate, it is customary to slightly lift the plate with your left hand and tilt it away from you. By doing this, you can continue to adhere to the rules of using a spoon without much difficulty, namely: fill the spoon with soup in a motion away from you.

They eat soup from the edge of a spoon, bringing it parallel to the mouth. Therefore, a round-shaped soup spoon best suits its purpose.

Meat dishes eaten with a knife and fork.

Everyone knows that when eating, you need to hold the fork in your left hand and the knife in your right. However, in everyday practice we tend to neglect this rule, and therefore, when the need arises to use it, it turns out that lack of experience entails a whole series of mistakes.

One of the most common is using a knife to put food on a fork. You can use a knife to slightly adjust what you are about to take with a fork. You can’t cut everything you can with a knife and then use only a fork. Those meat dishes that can be easily dismembered with a fork are not cut with a knife. Such dishes, for example, include meatballs, lula kebab, and cutlets.

When eating food with a knife and fork, they are constantly held in the hands, even at the moment when only the fork is used. When cutting food, the fork and knife should be held at a slight angle to the plate, and not vertically. The handles of the knife and fork should be in the palms.

There should be no doubt about which knife and fork to start eating with. No matter how many knives and forks are on the table, You should always start with the device farthest from the plate. As new dishes are served, the knives and forks used change.

While eating, do not lean low over the plate. According to etiquette guides, in this position you will resemble a bird pecking at grains.

You should stay as straight as possible, only leaning forward slightly.
If the food you tried is very hot, drink water. Any other actions are unacceptable. No matter how disappointed you are with the taste of the food, the piece of it that is in your mouth should be eaten. Only fish bones and fruit seeds can be removed from the mouth.

You should not fill your mouth with large amounts of food.

When you need to take a glass or bread, place the fork and knife crosswise on the plate: the fork with the convex part up, and the knife with the tip to the left. You can place the fork and knife on the plate so that their handles rest on the table. However, in this case, you will need to be extra careful, since if you move awkwardly, the knife or fork may slip off the plate and fall on the table.

If you want to show that you have finished eating, do not move the plate away from you, but place a knife and fork parallel to each other on it. In this case, their handles will be turned to the right. The fork should have its tines facing up.

The dishes, which must be taken from the tray by the guests themselves, are placed on plates using a serving fork and spoon. Food is taken with a spoon, which is held with the left hand, while helping with a fork in the right hand. It is unacceptable to serve food from a common dish with cutlery served for one guest.

At the table, as far as possible, you should not take food with your hands.

Game It is customary to eat (even the smallest birds) with a knife and fork. Using a knife and fork, separate as much meat from the bird as your skill and dexterity allow. If any difficulties arise, it is better to leave the food uneaten.

Given the inevitability of such difficulties, owners strive to prepare and serve game in such a way as to make the process of cutting it on a plate as easy as possible.

Fish dishes eaten with a special fish knife and fork. In this case, the fish is not cut with a knife.

The fish knife began to be used relatively recently - during the reign of Queen Victoria in England, and therefore some jealous guardians of traditions, considering it as an “innovation”, prefer to eat fish dishes using two forks.

Fish has always been considered a “difficult” food, since fish bones can cause a lot of trouble. A fish knife with a wide, rounded end is mainly used to separate fish bones from meat.

If you still need to remove fish bones from your mouth, then they should be placed on a fork leaning against your lips, and from it onto a plate.

Salads, served as additions to roasts and game, are taken from a large dish using the spoon and fork supplied with the dish and placed on small plates from which they are eaten.

Before the advent of stainless steel knives, the use of knives for cutting salad and fruit was avoided, as this caused their surface to darken. Currently, there are no serious reasons why you should not use a knife to cut lettuce. In addition, it is not so easy to eat salad without resorting to a knife.

Fish, meat, vegetable and other salads are placed on your plate and eaten using a knife and fork.

Bread take it with your hand (not with a fork) from a common plate and place it on a plate specially intended for it. Bread is eaten by breaking off small pieces with the hand, which can be eaten in one or two servings.

The butter is spread on a piece of bread, which is held with the fingers of the left hand on the plate. You should not spread a slice of bread with butter while holding it suspended. If your cutlery does not include a knife specifically designed for butter, you can use any other knife, but you must ensure that the remains of other foods are not transferred to the butter by this knife.

Jam, jam is first placed on a bread plate, and then placed on slices of bread.

You should not crumble bread onto a plate in order to pick up the remaining sauce.

Sandwiches take with your hands if they are served with drinks before the start of dinner. At the table, sandwiches are eaten with a fork and knife.

The cheese is taken with a special fork and placed on your plate, and from it onto bread or thin dry cookies; The processed cheese is spread on slices of bread with a regular knife used for butter.

Sausage and ham Serve sliced ​​and peeled, slices of sausage and ham are placed on a plate with a fork and eaten with a knife and fork.

Fruits eaten with a fruit knife and fork. The apple and pear are cut into four parts or eight slices on a plate, then the core is removed, the slices are peeled and eaten by taking them from the plate with your hands.

Break the plums in half with your fingers and remove the pit.

Cherry pits, as well as seeds and hard grape skins are, if possible, discreetly removed from the mouth onto a spoon.

Watermelons and melons are served in slices and eaten with a spoon or knife and fork.

The grapefruit is served cut in half, with the edible middle part peeled with a knife and sprinkled with powdered sugar. They eat with a spoon.

Place the orange on a plate and, holding it with your left hand, use a knife to cut the peel from top to bottom into slices. The peeled orange is divided into slices with a knife. The bones are removed with a knife.

The peel of tangerines is easily removed, so they are peeled and divided into slices by hand without the help of a knife. The seeds are removed in the same way as when eating cherries and grapes.

Berries, including strawberries, are sprinkled with sugar and served with whipped cream. They eat them with a spoon.

You can peel the banana until halfway and, holding it in your hand, eat it, biting it into pieces. However, it is preferable to peel the whole banana, place it on a plate, cut it into pieces and eat it with a fork.

It is not so common these days, but it is still possible to see a table set with small cups of water to rinse off fingers that may be stained by fruit juice. These cups are placed on the left side of the plates. The fingertips are dipped into water and then wiped on a napkin.

Currently, the use of bowls for rinsing fingers is widespread in Eastern countries, where many foods are eaten with hands.

Tea and coffee. Probably the least problems arise when you drink tea or coffee. It is rare now to meet a person who would pour tea onto a saucer, blow diligently into it, and then not even drink, but inhale the tea with some special dashing whistle. This is how they drank tea at the dawn of the 17th century, when tea was brought to Europe from China. The first admirers of this drink used small cups without handles - a copy of the Chinese ones.

However, mistakes are also made when handling these drinks. After stirring tea or coffee with a spoon, leave it in a glass or cup, whereas it should be placed on a saucer. Dip cookies into tea or coffee, and also drink tea or coffee when your mouth is full of food. Taking the cup, they insert their finger into the eye of the handle and mannerly put their little finger aside.

Sugar in the absence of special tongs, take it with your hand, not with a spoon, and lower it into a cup.

Cake and biscuits are eaten with a dessert spoon.

The cookies are eaten by breaking off pieces.

A slice of lemon, taken with a special small fork, is placed in a glass of tea or a cup of coffee, the juice is squeezed out with a spoon, and the remainder is taken out and placed on the edge of the saucer.

Lemon is usually also served with fish dishes and some meat dishes. In this case, the lemon is placed on the dish and, pressing on it with the convex side of a fork, the juice is squeezed out.

You should drink tea slowly, especially not in one gulp, getting burned and puffing. But don't hesitate too much. Iced tea is tasteless. And besides, you will look ridiculous sipping tea when all the other guests have finished.

In many countries it is customary to invite guests for coffee. This does not mean that you will only be served coffee. You may be offered tea, as well as cookies, cake, nuts, and sometimes cognac or liqueurs. But you shouldn’t expect to be fed meat or fish. And you yourself, when inviting guests for coffee, should not fill the table with all kinds of snacks or an abundance of wine bottles.

By placing a napkin on the table or getting up from the table, the hostess (or owner) indicates that dinner is over. Only after this sign can guests also put down their napkins and rise.

At the end of lunch, when getting up from the table, they do not leave the chair aside, but move it back to the table. A man helps his neighbor up by pushing her chair out and then returning it to the table.

You can leave official ceremonies only after the “main guest” in whose honor it was held has left. At friendly meetings, on the contrary, one should not wait for the departure of the one who may be considered by the hosts to be the most welcome guest, whom they would like to keep longer than others.

In such cases, be guided by the formula J.-J. Rousseau: “A smart man retires a minute before he would be superfluous.” It doesn’t hurt to remember the Eastern wisdom: “The host needs a guest like breathing to a person. But if the breath comes in and doesn’t come out, the person dies.”

In behavior at the table, in handling cutlery, in the manner of eating, there can be many small details unfamiliar to us, especially when communicating with foreigners - after all, each country has its own specific rules, sometimes depending on the traditions of the national cuisine. Therefore - once again: look closely at how the hostess, the host and your neighbors at the table act, and do everything as they do - there will be no mistakes."