Increasing the level of empathy in working with clients. Developing Empathy

Empathy seems to be an absolutely positive concept: the need to empathize with others is confirmed by all sorts of moral authorities - from the Bible to modern scientists. But what if we think about the negative consequences of emotional sensitivity? Paul Bloom, a professor of psychology at Yale University, wrote that the power of empathy is greatly overrated, and lack of it does not necessarily make you a bad person. T&P translated the main points.

When people ask me what I'm working on now, I often say that I'm writing a book about empathy. People usually smile and nod, but then I add, “I’m against empathy.” This often causes awkward chuckles.

At first, this reaction amazed me, but then I realized that being against empathy is like saying that you hate kittens: a statement so wild that it can only be a joke. I also learned to clarify terminology and explain that I am not against morality, mercy, kindness and love, being a good neighbor, doing the right thing and making the world a better place. My point is different: if you want to be a good person and do good things, empathy is a bad guide.

The word "empathy" is used in different contexts, but here I use the most common meaning, which harkens back to what 18th-century philosophers like Adam Smith called sympathy. This is the process of perceiving the world through the eyes of other people, the ability to take their place, to feel their pain. Some researchers also use the term for the colder processes of assessing what others are thinking: their motivations, plans, beliefs. This is sometimes called cognitive empathy as opposed to emotional empathy. I'll stick to this terminology in my discussion, but it's worth remembering that the two types of empathy involve different brain processes (you may have one kind of empathy and not the other) and that most discussions about the importance of empathy for morality focus on it. emotional aspect.

We are endowed with a certain level of empathy from birth: the sight and sounds of other people's suffering are unpleasant for small children, and if they have such an opportunity, they try to help by stroking and calming the upset person. It is not a uniquely human trait: primatologist Frans de Waal that chimpanzees often hug and stroke the victim of someone else's attack. Empathy can arise automatically, even against our desire. Adam Smith describes people "of delicate senses" who, upon perceiving a wound or sore on a beggar, "are apt to feel an unpleasant sensation in the same part of their body." The capacity for empathy can also be enhanced by imagination. In one of his pre-presidential speeches, Barack Obama emphasized the importance of “seeing the world through the eyes of those who are different from us - a hungry child, a laid-off steel worker, a family that lost everything after a hurricane... When you think this way, you push boundaries worrying about other people, whether they are close friends or strangers - and then it becomes more difficult not to do anything, not to help.”

“Most people believe that the benefits of empathy are as obvious as the harms of racism: that is, too obvious to require confirmation.”

Obama is right about that last point—there's strong public support for what psychologist Daniel Batson calls the empathic altruism hypothesis: When you empathize with others, you're more likely to help them. In general, empathy helps to blur the boundaries between you and another person, it is a powerful remedy against selfishness and indifference.

Most people believe that the benefits of empathy are as obvious as the harms of racism: that is, too obvious to require confirmation. I think this is a mistake. I believe that certain aspects of empathy make it a poor guide for social policy. Empathy is full of biases: we are more likely to empathize with attractive people, those who look like us or have the same ethnic background. And it is very limited: it connects us with individuals, real or imagined, but makes us insensitive to quantitative differences or statistical data. As Mother Teresa said: “If I look at the crowd, I will never do anything. If I look at one person, I will take action.”

In light of these nuances, our social decisions will be more just and moral if we try to abstract from empathy. Our politics will become better when we realize that a hundred deaths are worse than one, even if we know the name of that single victim. And we recognize that the life of a person in a distant country is no less valuable than the life of our neighbor - even if our emotions pull us in the other direction.

But if you accept this argument, there are other considerations beyond public policy. Imagine your daily interactions with parents and children, partners and friends. Empathy may not improve our politics, but it seems to be an absolute blessing when it comes to personal relationships - the more of it, the better.

I believed it before, but now I'm not so sure.

One of the most thoughtful advocates of empathy is psychologist Simon Baron-Cohen. In his 2011 book, The Science of Evil, he argues that the idea of evil should be replaced by the "destruction of empathy" and that high levels of empathy make individuals and entire societies virtuous. People vary in their ability to empathize, and Baron-Cohen suggests a scale from 0 (no empathy at all) to 6, where a person is constantly focused on the feelings of others - a kind of constant hyperarousal. The scientist describes the personality of the sixth type:

“Hannah is a psychotherapist and she has a gift for tuning into other people's feelings. When you walk into her living room, she reads the emotions in your face, posture, gait, posture. The first question she asks is “How are you?”, but this is not a formal platitude. Her intonation sounds like an invitation to trust, open up, share. Even if you respond with a short phrase, your tone will reveal your inner emotional state to her, and she will quickly continue: “You seem a little sad. What upset you?

Before you know it, you're opening up to this great listener, who interrupts you only to reassure you or express concern, reflect your feelings, sometimes offering soft words of encouragement to make you feel important. Hannah doesn't act this way because it's her job. She behaves equally with clients, friends and even strangers. She has an endless need to empathize."

It's easy to see why Baron-Cohen was impressed by her. Hannah seems like a good therapist and seems like she could be a good mother. But imagine what it's like to be her. Her concern for others is not caused by any special attitude towards them; for her, everyone is equal: both friends and strangers. Her drive cannot be controlled or stopped. Her experience is the opposite of selfishness, but just as extreme.

Moreover, such a strong capacity for empathy comes at a cost. People with this syndrome often enter into asymmetrical relationships, where they support others but do not receive enough support themselves. They are also more likely to suffer from depression and anxiety disorders. The ability to feel someone else's pain leads to what psychologists call empathic stress. This state can be contrasted with non-empathic sympathy - a more distant manifestation of love, kindness and care. It’s worth taking a closer look at this difference, because empathy fans are starting to get confused here, believing that the only force that can motivate a person to do good deeds is the empathic impulse. But this is a mistake. Imagine that your friend's child drowns. A highly empathetic response in such a situation is to feel what your friend is experiencing, which is great grief and pain. This won't help much - you'll only experience emotional exhaustion. In contrast, sympathy includes caring and loving one's friend and a desire to help, but it does not require sharing in all his suffering. Doctors take care of patients without experiencing emotional empathy, and it is their calm and composure that is sometimes the best support.

When we think of people who are at the other end of the Baron-Cohen scale, at zero, we usually think of psychopaths (or sociopaths, or people with antisocial disorder - usually all these terms are used interchangeably). In pop culture, psychopaths serve as the embodiment of evil, a term that describes everything from predatory executives and callous politicians to serial killers like Hannibal Lecter.

There is a standard questionnaire test that identifies psychopathy, developed by psychologist Robert Hare. For many people, the main test item is “callousness/lack of empathy.” There is a line drawn here between emotional and cognitive empathy, as many sociopaths have an excellent understanding of what is going on in other people's heads, which allows them to be excellent manipulators. But they are unable to share other people's pain - that's why psychopaths are such bad people.

“People with Asperger's syndrome and autism have low levels of both cognitive and emotional empathy. Despite this, they do not show any inclination towards violence and exploitation of others."

What about aggressive behavior in general? Are aggressive people less capable of empathy? Even I, a skeptic, can imagine that there is some subtle connection between empathy and aggression, suggesting that a person with great capacity for compassion would feel unpleasant about hurting other people. But recent evidence summing up all the available research on the connection between empathy and aggression leads to a different conclusion. According to these data, the connection is very weak.

A crucial test of the theory that low empathy makes people bad would be to study a group of people who lack both empathy and other traits associated with psychopathy. Such people exist. Baron-Cohen points out that people with Asperger's syndrome and autism have low levels of both cognitive and emotional empathy. Despite this, they do not show any inclination towards violence and exploitation of other people. Moreover, they often follow strict moral rules and are more likely to become victims of violence than to initiate it.

Do I think empathy is irrelevant or destructive to our relationships with people? This would be too harsh a conclusion. There are many studies that find a correlation between the level of empathy and willingness to help a person. Many of them were carried out poorly. They often measure empathy through self-observation of participants, so it is not known whether scientists are dealing with actual levels of empathy or people's beliefs about themselves. However, there is some scientific evidence that a high capacity for compassion increases the likelihood of altruistic behavior, so it would be wrong to dismiss the role of empathy in human morality.

But we know that a strong capacity for empathy does not make a person good, just as a weak capacity for empathy does not make a person bad. Virtue is more associated with distant empathy and kindness, with intelligence, self-control and a sense of justice. And to be a bad person is, first of all, not to care about others and to be unable to control your appetites.

It is very important when you are surrounded by people who can sincerely support you, put themselves in your position, and empathize. Unfortunately, such properties are not inherent to everyone. These are empaths, people who have the ability to sense the inner emotional world of others.

According to S. Freud, people with empathic abilities can not only objectively evaluate and understand the feelings of another, but also pass these experiences through themselves.

This article will help you learn how to develop empathy.

Empathy is not just the ability to empathize and feel someone else's soul, but the ability to understand the mental and emotional state of a person, feel his emotions and at the same time realize that they belong to him.

An empath is a person who is in control of his own subconscious.

Empathy is not reading the inner emotional world of another person from his facial expressions and gestures. A true empath does not need all this.

Empathic communication has several levels. Simply put, it’s like living a different life, while you need to leave your own and penetrate the spiritual world of another person. Having entered such a state, the empath does not turn off his sensitivity, thereby monitoring the emotional changes in the opponent’s moods.

If possible, how can we develop empathy?

Empathy is conscious empathy, it can be learned, but it will seem extremely difficult for people who have never felt before. It is impossible to change in an instant. This will take a lot of time, first you need to change your beliefs.

According to psychologists, this is a natural gift, therefore, if you have the makings of empathy, it can be trained and improved.

Developing Empathy

Start observing the gestures and facial expressions of other people. This will help you learn to feel their emotional state. Follow people, study character traits, observe from the outside. This will not only help you learn a lot, but will also allow you to learn to objectively evaluate your actions. You look at how a person behaves in different situations, in which he is more nervous or shows excitement.
Awaken your sensitivity towards others, help everyone who needs help to the best of your ability.
Practice listening techniques. This is the most important point. You need to learn to hear another person. Surrender to this process completely and deeply, do not interrupt, do not criticize in any way, do not draw negative conclusions, do not set any guidelines. You just need to bare your soul, leave everything outside of your “I” and completely immerse yourself in your opponent.
Talk to strangers. Don't wait until they ask you for help; if you see an upset person crying, come over and try to console him. You shouldn’t immediately jump in with questions, people are different, some are closed. And some will gladly respond to your offer of help; sometimes it is easier for a stranger to tell about their everyday problems.
Read books, fiction and scientific, any literature that will help you in self-improvement. Study techniques, practice them. Draw conclusions from what you read. This will definitely come in handy in practice. All this will help develop the ability of empathy.
Having imbued with the feelings of another person, check yourself to see if you have identified them correctly.

This way, you can figure out how to develop empathy.

Participation in the production of artistic sketches will be a good training. This is an excellent practice in remembering faces, in the ability to look at yourself from the outside, and transform into other people, birds and even animals.

How else can we develop empathy? Role-playing games, dancing, watching touching films, and listening to good music will also help with this. You need to strive to develop your own emotional sensitivity, and with it empathy will appear.

How to develop empathy in an adult? This can be achieved through special training. It is better to train in the company of a group of people. This could be relatives, family, colleagues or friends.

How to develop empathy: exercises

You need to guess the emotion. Each participant in the game is given sheets of paper on which a certain feeling is described. And one by one portrays it, everyone guesses.
"Reflection in the mirror." One participant becomes a mirror, and the other looks into it and shows different gestures and facial expressions. The task of the first is to repeat everything, to reflect. This exercise is done in pairs. After a few minutes people switch roles.
"Talking on the phone". One person is supposedly talking on the phone without saying a word, the other person’s task is to guess who he is talking to.

This is just a small list of games and exercises for developing empathy. In fact, there are a huge number of them, and therefore you can definitely choose the appropriate option for yourself.

Well, the sense of empathy is developed in an adult.

What is he like, this unique person - an empath?

People who have achieved a high level of empathy through self-improvement are, firstly, very kind, and this is a genuine quality. Secondly, they are compassionate, sincere, sensitive, attentive, and will never blame anyone for their own failures. Merciful.

These people manage their emotions competently. Otherwise, they can lead to dire consequences associated with deterioration of one’s own health.

Being an empath is a true gift. If there were more such people in our world, country, society, how many wars, troubles and misfortunes would be avoided. Therefore, both adults and children need to develop the ability to empathize.

Is it worth developing empathy in a child?

Of course yes. This is a wonderful life experience in learning about yourself and others. The child gradually develops sensitivity.

The first urges of empathy arise from infancy. When the baby begins to react to the crying and cries of other children. Two- and three-year-old children are already learning the emotions of not only their own, but also those of those around them. At the same time, the child not only empathizes, but can already express sympathy for another child.

Development continues for up to ten years. Already at this age they know how to empathize with loved ones and can take their place.

If it is visible in relation to other children and even toys, you should sound the alarm. We need to fight this so that we don’t have to solve even bigger problems later.

You can judge empathy in children by studying how developed it is in their parents. If they have the above qualities, then children will certainly become empaths.

Of course, its development will also depend on the psychological environment in which the child is raised. In a good family, this is a manifestation of love, warmth, kindness, affection, tenderness.

Well, this is not enough, the development of empathy lies entirely with the parents. Why? Because compassion and empathy are not just the spiritual development of a child, but also the study of relationships between people. Children begin to look closely at those around them and are already trying to project their emotions onto themselves, that is, look for similar experiences with their feelings in them.

So, now it’s clear why it is necessary to develop empathy in children.

Developing empathy in teenagers

Family is the foundation. Her walls are love, respect, mutual understanding, affection, empathy, polite communication with children. A child cannot develop empathy on his own. He doesn't understand the feeling of pain well. Therefore, those teenagers who lived in our imaginary house have the makings of empathy.

Empathy in teenagers is only possible if they have good, sincere relationships with their parents. If this contact is disrupted, the child’s psyche suffers first of all, which, of course, will negatively affect his development.

To have empathy means to be able to empathize and understand the emotional mental world of another person, be it pain or joy. Therefore, it is vitally important to give the teenager a strong, trusting, friendly foundation.

How to develop empathy in children?

The best experiences are shared through games. Eg:

You can read a fairy tale full of emotions, and then discuss each character with your children, describe their character traits, and draw some conclusions.
If fish that live in an aquarium and sea creatures could speak, what could they tell?
What did the kids think when a wolf snuck into their house? Were they scared or didn’t understand anything? And what did you feel when you were in his stomach?

Through role-playing games, the child learns to transform, while developing soulfulness and thus begins to understand the emotional world of another person.

Let the child come up with a fairy tale on behalf of a fox or giraffe that lives in the zoo and then in the wild.

How does a leaf feel when it is plucked from a tree or bush?

You can play association games, for example, show children different objects or figures. Of course, they will understand that they are all different, and a parallel can be drawn that people are also different, but they need to be understood so that everyone can live well, comfortably and exist together.

Thanks to the above examples, it is clear how to develop empathy in a child.

It needs to be developed! This will make our world a kinder and better place. People increasingly withdraw into themselves, think only about their personal lives, and do not care about other people's problems. This is scary. If everyone starts to think about this situation and solve it, it will become easier for everyone to live and interact with each other.

Human resource is not an impersonal concept, and an HR specialist, whatever one may say, has to work with specific people, interact with them, try to understand their motives, the reasons for certain actions, and find a common language. At the same time, when “penetrating into the inner world” of your colleagues, it is important not to become a victim of manipulation yourself.

Have you ever wondered why it is easy for you to communicate with one person, you behave at ease, openly, but with another you seem constrained and dream of ending the conversation as soon as possible?

Perhaps you didn’t even think about it.

We are simply intuitively attracted to an interlocutor who listens to us carefully, understands our emotions and feelings, does not give any assessments to our actions, does not torment us with advice “from his own life”, respects our opinion (even if he does not agree with it)... Then an amazing feeling appears unity, the feeling that you are both on the same wavelength.

What is this magic of communication? What is it? Is it possible to learn it? And is it possible to use it not only in everyday life, but also in business?

Surely you have experienced compassion, affection, pity, empathy, empathy, sympathy, etc. - it’s impossible to list them all.

Today we will talk about empathy.

The concept of empathy is believed to come from the Greek pathos - a strong and deep feeling close to compassion, with the prefix em meaning inward direction.

You can experience empathy even if you fundamentally disagree with the point of view of your interlocutor

Showing empathy for your interlocutor means perceiving the inner world of another, but without losing touch with yourself. This means that you must retain the ability to return to your own world of experience. If the shade “as if it were happening to me” (the key part is “as if”) disappears, then instead of empathy, identification with the emotional state of the interlocutor arises, you become infected with his emotions and experiences to the same extent as he. Empathy does not mean “putting yourself in the place of your interlocutor”; it does not mean copying his feelings. Empathy is an attempt to see things through the other person's eyes. Another very important point: you can experience empathy even if you fundamentally disagree with the point of view of your interlocutor. Those. you are capable of deep understanding of the feelings of the person with whom you are talking, you distinguish your own emotions from those that arose in response to the emotions of the “other party” in the conversation.

Many of you have probably heard of psychologist Carl Rogers, the founder of client-centered psychology. He defines empathy as follows: “To be in a state of empathy means to perceive the inner world of another accurately, while maintaining emotional and semantic nuances. It’s as if you become that other person, but without losing the “as if” feeling. Thus, you feel the joy or pain of another as he feels them, and you perceive their causes as he perceives them. But there must definitely remain a shade of “as if”: “as if it were me who was happy or upset.”

Empathy is not formal logic or evaluative reaction.

Have you noticed an interesting effect - when the interlocutor is very interesting to you, you are sincerely interested in him and do not notice how time flies during the conversation. Why is this happening? Because you are trying to understand and anticipate the individual characteristics of the person with whom you are talking. And then empathy becomes a most valuable tool for understanding human individuality, and not just the ability to demonstrate complicity and empathy.

Empathy promotes effective communication

Why do we need empathy? It is possible that it promotes effective communication between us, helps to understand difficult situations, predict people’s choices and actions, and creates a feeling of psychological comfort.

Employees of HR departments in their work constantly feel the need to understand the interlocutor as fully as possible.

Whether we are interviewing a potential candidate for a vacant position, resolving conflict situations, creating a motivation system, creating project teams, “retaining” talent, optimizing the number of personnel and conducting a “closing” interview when dismissing employees - in all these cases it is vital for us it is necessary to listen and hear our interlocutors.

To work effectively and efficiently with personnel, you need to understand the essence of the true motives of the employee’s actions, the sources of his interests, the reasons for lying, and the goals of isolation.

If you have ever encountered the formation of a team, then you will confirm that within it (especially at the “storm” stage) a variety of emotions are raging, which are extremely difficult to control and direct in a constructive direction. Guiding a ship through a storm, figuratively speaking, is not an easy task for any captain. It’s worth making a reservation here. We are not talking about a natural phenomenon, but about the five stages of team formation: formation, storm, normalization, execution and completion. If we talk about the “storm” very briefly, we can characterize it like this. Initial optimism after the starting spurt gives way to pessimism, if not fear, in front of the challenges ahead. Feelings of frustration or disagreement regarding goals, responsibilities in a project.

And in order to achieve a common result, it is necessary not only to listen, but also to understand the point of view of each team member, to come to a common opinion, while avoiding a conflict of interests and the collapse of the team.

If your company has implemented a motivation system based on an individual approach, then only through empathic listening (also called “active listening”) you will be able to determine the internal motives of each employee, which means you will hit the mark by making a specific motivational offer to a specific unique specialist, to the expert. And, as a result of competent development of the motivation system, solve the problem of retaining key specialists of your company. And in our time of high competition, the last task is especially relevant: after all, a talented specialist, an expert can also be a talented manager, leader.

Accordingly, when “good” people leave, they often take their entire team with them.

Business erases state and national boundaries. Nowadays you won’t surprise anyone with the multinational composition of the company’s personnel, as it was 15 years ago. The intercultural characteristics of the company require from the HR specialist special knowledge in the field of relations (including business) and a deep understanding of the intricacies of the culture of the various countries and faiths whose representatives work in the company. In cross-cultural companies, where HR becomes the link in the formation of a common corporate culture, empathy is indispensable.

If your company practices mentoring, be sure to discuss with mentors how to demonstrate empathy in mentor-mentee relationships. Of course, before handing over a student to a mentor, you will conduct professional testing - an analysis of his knowledge, skills, perhaps even psychological, but do not forget - this is just an HR “technique”.

No tests can replace “live” communication. And successful communication is an understanding of the goals and objectives of your interlocutor, motives, reasons for his actions and words. Only then can a mentor be effective, because he will know exactly how to “push” his student to the desired result, how to correctly “present” new professional information, how to give feedback (so that it is motivating for success).

It is believed that empathic understanding of an interlocutor depends on the richness of one’s own life experience and the ability to tune in to the same emotional wavelength as one’s interlocutor.

How to learn empathy? Start with yourself. Live in harmony with yourself, be positive and transfer your mental comfort and positive feelings and attitude towards life to relationships with friends and colleagues around you, look for individual ways of interaction that will help you unlock the potential (both yours and your interlocutor), find resources for fruitful cooperation.

Sometimes people tend to confuse pity and empathy. And if pity can harm business, then empathy cannot. Empathy does not imply indifference. On the contrary, it is an understanding of the difficult, tragic (or, conversely, happy) situation of the employee and the opportunity - if necessary - to help him.

Articles in this section

How bosses accelerate employee burnout
Five reasons why you lose interest in work because of your boss's behavior.
What to do if happiness strikes you during a crisis?
Business literature is full of advice on how to survive in crisis conditions. They especially often remember the Eastern wisdom that crisis is new opportunities. Indeed, hundreds of Russian companies suddenly received an impetus for development precisely because of the reduction in imports, the fall in the ruble exchange rate and other delights. But new opportunities also create new problems. This article is about how to deal with them.
The publication is based on the author’s personal observations.
When Subordinates Trick You: A Practical Guide
If you are a manager with at least 3 years of experience, rest assured that your subordinates have fooled your brains dozens of times already. And if you are the director of a large holding company, then it happens every day. Although you may not have noticed it. I offer instructions: how to smell it and what to do with it.
How to keep timesheets as efficiently as possible?
A time sheet is an indispensable tool in the work of any organization. Its maintenance is prescribed by law, and underestimation can negatively affect the company’s work. The report card allows the manager to see the overall picture of employee attendance at work.
How to choose the right personnel control model for you
Many managers, when deciding for themselves the question of how to “keep subordinates in check,” hardly think about what control strategy they will adhere to. As a result, elements of completely different strategies are often mixed, which leads to the futility of all efforts. For most managers, two strategies are most useful: external control and internal stimulation.
A cruel leader. Who's to blame?
In Russia, a future leader who is not happy with his team is formed in an educational institution. Here students are taught how to build teamwork, how to increase team efficiency, but no one teaches personal effectiveness. Working with personal effectiveness, personal…
TOP 6 management mistakes that can hinder the development of a company
In one of his latest articles for Forbes, Glenn Llopis, an American entrepreneur and business consultant, spoke about the mistakes of top management, which ultimately negatively affect the success of their businesses.
How small companies can solve design problems
How should small and medium-sized businesses build project management processes – “according to science” or “as usual”? Better, as common sense dictates, says Alexander Krymov. Read about the specifics of project management in small companies.
The problem of Russian business is its superficial attitude towards personnel
The crisis once again forces managers to optimize their business and identify reserves that can be used in the new situation. Experts from the recruitment agency Unity compared Russian principles of work in recruitment with German ones and came to the conclusion that the main point of growth is company personnel.
“Business Sergeants”: the problem of line managers
Low-level managers are the “sergeants” or “warrant officers” of the company. They can become the most influential cell in the business hierarchy if you take care of their career development. Alexander Krymov on the search and training of line managers.
Commonly used HR strategies during periods of financial instability
In recent years, Russian companies that have overcome the 2008 crisis have consistently expanded their business and, accordingly, adjusted their staff levels in such a way as to have a slightly larger number of employees than was absolutely and minimally necessary.
However, in recent...
Recommendations for employers during a crisis
In recent years, Russian companies that survived and overcame the 2008 crisis have invariably expanded their business and, accordingly, adjusted the number of personnel in order to provide a certain personnel reserve that covered their actual personnel needs.
Increasing employee productivity can be a challenge even for the most competent manager. Fortunately, many managers have a significant range of tools at their disposal to increase motivation. So, one of the most common ways to increase motivation is to...
Labor productivity in the company: challenges of the crisis
Labor productivity in Russia has always been lame compared to abroad, it is lame now and, most likely, will continue to be lame. In times of crisis, it is worth returning to this issue.
Assessment of the effectiveness of the HR Department
How is the role of HR changing in a modern company? What are the expectations of top managers from the work of the HR department? How does your company evaluate the effectiveness of the HR department?
Gamify it: How to Inspire Your Team to Great Deeds Using Game Mechanics
Increasingly, at HR conferences and the pages of industry publications, you can come across the term “gamification” - in the context of working with staff motivation, increasing sales, strengthening corporate culture and other tasks of increasing efficiency. What is gamification and why right now the HR community is so actively talking about this tool - after all, in fact, it has been used for a long time.
Exit interview: understand the reasons for leaving and take action
The exit interview can confidently be called the “gold standard” in the relationship between the company and the leaving employee. It is very important for an employer to say goodbye to a valuable employee “well” and at the same time receive useful information from him on how to retain other employees.
“Own” people in the company. Nuances of relationships
In practice, there is often a situation where senior management employs their relatives or acquaintances as employees of the company. Such actions may carry risks both for the work of individual departments and for the business as a whole.
What is management?
Anyone, even a recent MBA graduate, knows that you can argue all day about the truest, best definition of the word manager. But it bores me. So let's think together about the main thing, about the essence of what we expect from a professional leader (we are not yet considering the rest of your work: increasing profits or releasing more advanced widgets). What does management come down to?
Corporate trainings: are managers born or made?
Every year, millions of dollars and thousands of hours are spent trying to teach leaders and managers how to lead and provide effective feedback to their employees. However, a significant portion of these trainings do not produce the desired results. Many managers remain poor mentors. Maybe the reason is that it can't be taught?
How to find a common language with subordinates? Two examples that definitely should not be repeated
Tatiana was an amazing, highly motivated manager in an international organization headquartered in Washington.
When she was promoted to a management position, she inherited a small team of employees. Her direct subordinates were very categorical, cynical, straightforward...
Preparation of management reporting in-house and outsourcing
In addition to financial reporting for shareholders and counterparties, consisting of a balance sheet, profit and loss statements and cash flow, more and more companies regularly prepare management reporting, which is necessary for senior management to make decisions.
6 Rules for Successful Accounting Outsourcing
The key to the effectiveness of accounting outsourcing is competent preparation for the transfer of the process, which begins immediately after the decision to switch to outsourcing is made and ends with the signing of an agreement with the service provider. You can prepare for the transfer yourself, with the help of external consultants or specialists from the selected provider. In any case, there are several universal recommendations that will make the transition to outsourcing as clear and quick as possible, and its further use effective for the company.
Creating a dream team!
If you really want to take a leap forward in your personal or professional development, then you will have to expand your circle of close connections. Once you find three people who can help change your life, your goal will be to bring them into your inner circle and create a strong relationship based on trust and respect. This is great, but where to look for such people?
How to draw up an outsourcing agreement correctly
How to retain a valuable employee? Vaccination against tough management
Situational analysis (or analysis of current situations) is carried out by any person on a daily basis, consciously or unconsciously. You can't take a single step without it. We need to analyze current events in order to decide how to behave in the future. Situational analysis is the process of assessing external and internal circumstances in order to determine a rational line of behavior. Technologically, it consists of three consecutive autonomous stages (procedures). Situation analysis is also most effectively used to help the team identify applied problems and find effective solutions.
Assessing the economic efficiency of the HR service
The article is published within the framework of cooperation between HRMaximum and Candidate of Economic Sciences, Director of the Zelenodolsk branch of the Institute of Economics, Management and Law, Associate Professor of the Department of Marketing and Economics of the Institute of Economics, Management and Law (Kazan) - Ruslan Evgenievich Mansurov. Latest…
It is necessary to determine the required number of specialists in the company
The issues of determining the optimal number of company personnel have always been relevant and, to a certain extent, controversial. Moreover, if we consider the issues of determining the required number of workers, then these issues have been worked out quite well. Since Soviet times (especially for industrial enterprises), all kinds of standards for the number of personnel, standards for equipment maintenance, time standards for various works, etc. have been developed, which for the most part have not lost their relevance today due to the low rate of introduction of new equipment and the transition to new technologies.
The issues of determining the number of personnel of specialists in management departments, such as accounting, economic planning department, financial department, etc., remain poorly developed. If we turn to the regulatory framework of the Soviet era, then these methods and norms are hopelessly outdated due to the sharply increasing demands made in a market economy.
Principles of adaptability in the structure of an organization
In a dynamic and increasingly changing world, traditional management methods based on rigid plans and programmed decisions cease to work. Change is forcing a shift in emphasis from anticipating change to ways to build organizations that can absorb change and turn instability to their advantage. Just like in nature, to survive in a rapidly changing environment, you need to adapt to it. To create an adaptive organization, it is necessary to understand the laws and features of its functioning.
How to deal with consumer non-payments?
This problem is less common in retail trade and more common in the service industry.
At the initial stage, you should try to contact such counterparties and first verbally and then in writing state your claims. Practice shows that in 10-15% of cases this works. And in our book we present several versions of such letters.
It is necessary to assess the economic damage from high staff turnover
The article is published within the framework of cooperation between HRMaximum and Candidate of Economic Sciences, Director of the Zelenodolsk branch of the Institute of Economics, Management and Law, Associate Professor of the Department of Marketing and Economics of the Institute of Economics, Management and Law (Kazan) - Ruslan Evgenievich Mansurov. Latest…
Working with freelancers: who is right and who is wrong
Freelancers are workers who are hired for one-time jobs when there is no need for an employee on staff or their employees are busy on other projects. Opinions about working with freelancers are usually split 50/50: some have had terrible experiences, some have had very positive ones. As a rule, clients continue to turn to those freelancers with whom there were no problems with the timing and quality of the work performed. In this article we will look at the pros and cons of a freelancer, as well as the features of the process of working with him.
The Bear and the Secretaries (a tale about secretaries and managers)
Once upon a time there lived a Bear named Michal Potapych. He was the owner of a medium-sized buying and selling business, and at the same time he was a director, because he rightly believed that without the supervision of the Boss, the office servants would take the entire business into holes and hollows. ...
Three dragons for a new manager
Attention, colleagues! Please read this article carefully. Perhaps it will save you from terrible danger and help you not only survive your first managerial problems, but also become a successful leader in the future.
Features of personnel management of a small enterprise
A special feature of a small enterprise is the close interaction between management and staff. Small enterprises often lack documents regulating personnel work, and there is a system of unofficial guidelines. This encourages an individual approach to each situation and employee, but leads to the emergence of conflicts and the expression of personal likes and dislikes of the manager towards employees. Let's consider what methods of effective personnel management in a small enterprise will increase labor productivity and ensure the success of the business.
How to ask for a salary increase
Often, heads of structural units turn to the personnel service with a request to assist in increasing the wages of their subordinates. HR specialists, as a rule, willingly agree to help and intercede with the CEO, acting as a kind of “parliamentarians”. But do HR employees themselves often increase their remuneration? And what to do if the HR salary in the company has been in need of an increase for a long time, but management doesn’t think about it at all? This article does not claim to be a mandatory guide to action, but the techniques described in it have been tested in practice and may come in handy.
Machiavelli syndrome. On resistance to change in an organization
Change has always caused resistance. This topic was first outlined by the founder of European political science, Nicolo Machiavelli, in his treatise “The Prince” (1513): “There is nothing more difficult than taking on something new, nothing more risky... or more uncertain than leading...
Express assessment of the state of the HR brand
Exactly the opposite: “bad advice” on management
Of course, the following “recommendations” for management are more likely to resemble the famous “bad advice” of Grigory Oster rather than a guide to action. Using irony, with the help of these "backward" tips, we aimed to clearly illustrate the "prohibited practices" of management that should not be used in the workplace if you want to achieve effective management and performance of your employees. Knowing these techniques can also be helpful in diagnosing abusive management.
How to create an internal bureaucracy
“Without a piece of paper you are a bug,” says a Russian proverb. By the way, insects, i.e. insects are the most prosperous class. Small companies feel quite comfortable without extra paperwork. But if your “bug” is growing rapidly, you’ll have to think about them too!
If subordinates are "stars"
Often in the team you manage there are employees who are smarter, stronger, and more educated than you. This is a natural process, psychologists say, ordinary intelligence, the one that allows us to add up huge numbers in our heads or develop the design of the most high-tech airliner, fades away with age. The peak of intelligence is 25 years old, then it steadily declines due to physiological reasons. But ethical intelligence, which gives us the opportunity to successfully interact with people, grows with age. Therefore, it is quite natural that young ambitious talents are managed by mature and experienced people. It is believed that in modern business it is ethical intelligence that is more in demand and brings more dividends than ordinary intelligence, oddly enough. But is it strange?
Manipulation by the leader
There are no unmanipulable leaders. If a leader believes that this is not happening to him, then this means only one thing: he is being manipulated especially skillfully. The one-sided dependence of one person on another encourages the dependent to develop different ways of influencing his boss, both defensively and offensively. Check out the proposed collection of manipulation methods and assess the likelihood of their manifestation in your environment.
Management system based on goals (results)
The management system by objectives has received wide recognition among practitioners, as it provides good results in achieving planned indicators. As a result of the coordination of goals at all levels and in all links, motivation to work and interest in achieving goals and objectives increases. A clear time frame for solving the organization’s problems allows you to move towards obtaining the final result in small steps.
Unification of organizational structures of holding enterprises. The need for changes during the transition to a unified wage system
The process of forming a holding or operating company is associated with solving a number of legal, managerial and political problems, and, as practice shows, the task of creating a unified organizational structure is not given due attention at this stage. They remember…
Planning the work of an HR manager
The effectiveness of the HR service depends not only on the level of personnel management costs, but also on how the HR manager manages his most valuable resource - time. Often, important and urgent matters are postponed due to low self-discipline, inability to prioritize tasks, a “littered” workspace, phone calls and visitors who have to be distracted. HR specialists often ask the question: how to properly organize work during an eight-hour working day?
What prevents managers from effectively managing subordinates?
Using only three resources - experience, intuition and common sense - a leader unnoticeably accumulates problems. As a result, he has to constantly struggle with reality, instead of enjoying his professional work. We tried to formulate those problems of a manager that seem to be the most typical. Not all of them are common to all current leaders. However, any of those who are not inclined to burden themselves with regular self-development will experience some of the listed obstacles.
Golden Rules of Project Management
Projects, by definition, are unique. Each project is organized to achieve its specific goal. A project can also be a separate enterprise with specific goals, often including requirements for time, cost and quality of results achieved. However, there are some general principles that guide successful project management. They are called the “golden rules” of project management.
Teamwork: Key Success Factors
Teamwork is a special case of delegation of authority and responsibility. In a traditional structure, the task and associated authority are assigned to the owner of the job. The combined competence of group members should ensure problem solving and...
Evaluating the effectiveness of the work practices of Russian PR specialists
There is an opinion that assessing the effectiveness of PR is necessary, first of all, for the customer. However, evaluating the effectiveness not only allows the client to evaluate how much the PR campaign influenced sales volumes and the position of the brand in the market, but also makes it possible to convince clients of the need for PR activities, indicate the pros and cons of the implemented activities and make recommendations for the future. We present a study conducted among Russian PR agencies.
Negotiation techniques and tricks
The content of negotiations is based on a simple formula: transfer of information, argumentation and adoption of a joint decision. However, in the implementation of these stages the main action unfolds and the art of negotiators is revealed. A negotiator needs to be able to recognize when a particular technique is being applied to him. Let's look at a number of negotiation techniques that are used throughout all three stages of the formula presented above.
How to organize and successfully conduct a meeting
One of the most difficult types of business interaction is meetings - especially if they are held in a situation of conflict in the organization. In addition, for a number of organizations, meetings are the highest governing body. These recommendations will help you make meetings more manageable, increase the likelihood of their success, reduce the risk of conflicts or unforeseen situations, and ultimately have a positive impact on the organization's strategic plans and the psychological climate in the team.
The sales department can work like clockwork
The sales department of any company can be compared to a clock mechanism, consisting of a bushing, shaft, spring, pendulum, levers and other elements that move according to the laws of mechanics. The sales department is also a mechanism, only instead of “springs” and “pendulums” there are sales tools, and instead of a watchmaker there is a head of the sales department.
Key responsibilities of a manager for organizing effective management
Good work starts with careful organization. If you want the work to be completed with the proper quality and within the required time frame, you need to pay close attention to the organization of this process. If the required responsibilities are presented in the form of a list, then it will include the following functions: setting the task and organizing execution, distributing responsibilities and ensuring interaction, building relationships, analyzing results, auditing the effectiveness of processes, etc. How to implement them in practice?
Employee turnover calculation coefficients
Typically, employee turnover is tracked by recording those who leave and assuming that a new employee will be hired to replace the person who leaves. The half-life ratio always shows that the tendency of employees to leave the company is highest during the first weeks of work; they should be taken into account to show whether the company is actually losing a particularly large number of employees at the beginning of their work compared to the previous period. Attrition rate is the most easily calculated and widely used. However, it can be disorienting for two reasons.
Last Resource: Chaos from Loyalty
“Get to know each other. This is Vladimir Leonidovich, a very decent and honest person,” the client introduces the employee. The consultant pretends to be a “teapot” and asks: “Who are you, Vladimir Leonidovich, in the organization?” And again he receives a response from the client: “I told you so!” This…
Putting plans into action: Eight strategic components
Most plans to implement change fail. More than 70% of projects that are developed to implement changes in companies either never reach practical implementation, or in practice they bring much less benefit than planned. For your strategic plan to work, you need to ensure that every component of the plan necessary to sustain change and achieve success is being implemented. There are eight of these components in total.
Human weaknesses must be exploited
What is negotiation - a process, confrontation, battle, just work? Negotiators are too interdependent. As Ilf and Petrov said, consent is complete non-resistance of the parties. Moreover, in each case you are dealing with different people, different companies.
Definition of SWOT analysis
“SWOT analysis” is a classic method of risk analysis and development of project strategy options. SWOT is an abbreviation of the English words Strength (strength), Weakness (weakness), Opportunity (opportunity), Threat (threat). As can be seen from the name, the meaning of the analysis consists of contrasting (“weighing”) the opposing qualities of the project:
A look from the outside: Chicken grain by grain / Russian businessmen will have the hardest time
The crisis year is passing. Now it doesn’t matter whether the crisis is over or not. Over the past year, a new reality has emerged. Everyone has slowly adapted to the new state of the market: they have reduced staff, learned to do without loans, forgotten mortgages, corporate events and...
No sooner said than done, or a technique for setting tasks
Every manager does several necessary things in his daily practice: plans, controls, praises or scolds, and, of course, distributes tasks to employees. But not always and not everything works out the way we would like.
Personnel migrations
Promotion or a change in the range of functional responsibilities is not only a serious “test of strength” for an employee, but also a good way to prevent a number of complex problems in personnel management. How do intra-organizational moves take place in companies and what problems does personnel rotation solve?
Cost optimization or reduction: how to find the right path?
In the current financial and economic situation in the country and in the world, many companies have to look for ways to survive. Some are frantically rushing to diversify their business, some are cutting staff en masse, and some are trying to save themselves by sequestering the budget. How to decide what to do? The answer to this question lies in the plane of the decision-making system. But it is still better to make even the wrong decisions than to be inactive and not make any.
Eliminating Destructive Leadership

People who do not sell anything to customers, but only observe them (cleaners, cloakroom attendants, receptionists, etc.) often know more about the needs of customers than employees who are motivated to sell. This is how empathy works - the ability to “stand in the shoes” of another person, and therefore understand his pain. The managing partner of the service design agency Inex Partners talks about how to teach empathy to your employees and use this superpower.

The fashionable word “empathy” is the ability to empathize with other people. This is a physiological feature of our brain, it is believed to be based on the activity of mirror neurons (responsible for imitative behavior, they “decipher” for us the feelings and emotions of another person based on his facial expressions and gestures). Essentially, empathy makes us understand the feelings of another person and, due to this, leads to the decision that we would make in his place.

But only similar experiences can truly help you understand someone else. Having felt “in your own skin” the client’s pain, knowing his needs and principles of decision-making, you will be able to offer him even what he may not have thought about yet, but what he desired deep down. This creates a new customer experience, and with it, motivation to choose your company again and again.

Companies that align their efforts with the customer's perspective increase the satisfaction of existing customers and more easily attract new audiences. That's why Apple's customer service training program includes a separate course on empathy.

What empathy can do for business

Freedom from scripts and personalization of solutions

If an employee asks himself the question: “What exactly does a person need right now?” - he no longer needs scripts. He is more like a doctor who makes a diagnosis based on symptoms and customizes treatment than a mover who rearranges boxes.

Quick response to customer wishes

Internal empathy - the understanding that an employee shares the client's pain - allows the company to respond very quickly to feedback from the front office, quickly change processes in the company and make them as convenient as possible for employees and clients. In some companies, customer happiness managers appear, whose task is to make customers feel good.

Employees become agents of change

One of our retail clients asks retail store employees to write every evening about the problems that customers encountered during the day. All information is sent to the central office, and at the end of two weeks, field employees receive a report on changes in work adopted based on their feedback. This creates trust between employees and the company.

How to include empathy in business processes...

Check the level of empathy among employees at the stage of selecting people for the company

There are certain tests for this: applicants are shown faces or photographs of other people and asked to determine what emotion this person experienced. People with developed empathy determine this very quickly.

Send new employees “to the fields”

Let them observe clients and then share what they saw - because empathy develops through observation.

Self-experience

A top manager should periodically live through the experiences of employees and clients and share what he has discovered.

Show empathy towards employees

And they will learn to do this for clients - mirror neurons will help.

...and why it's difficult

Established opinions about others

It seems to us that we already know everything about our clients. We have statistics, reports, a secret shopper - and that's enough for us.

Business focuses on past performance

All decisions are made based on trends and statistics. Sales forecasts are based on data about how much you sold in the past and how much you want to sell in the future. And the question of what we can offer the client does not arise.

Culture of shifting or spreading responsibility

People often say: “We need to talk to the client,” “We need to pay attention to the client,” and very rarely: “I want to ask the client.” The tasks are formulated abstractly.

Thus, the job description of a call center manager states that his main task is to answer calls, work with objections and create customer loyalty to the company. In fact, his first task is to listen to the person; the second is to continue listening even if the client is screaming; the third is to find a solution that will maximally help the client solve his problem; fourth - if possible, show the person how the company cares about him.

Empathy in action:
How researchers got used to the experience of Shokoladnitsa clients

In the fall of 2016, our service design agency received an order to prepare the rebranding of Shokoladnitsa. The chain's managers are accustomed to comparing it with other Russian coffee shops. But we immersed them in a different environment - we flew to Paris and went to coffee shops there, and then discussed what they saw. Benchmarking in Europe made it possible to disconnect from Russian standards and the sense of know-it-all - in unfamiliar conditions, a researcher who is able to notice unexpected details “turns on.”

After the first hypotheses (about how the behavior of coffee shop visitors depends on the duration of the visit, purpose and company), it was important for us to see the context of the client’s life in Russia. In October-December 2016, we conducted an ethnographic study for Shokoladnitsa to detail the customer experience.

Observation

At first we simply observe people - we look at their behavioral patterns. When the client arrived, what did he order, did he leave a tip, did he argue with the waiter, how long did he spend in the coffee shop, and with what face (happy or not) he left. Based on observations, a “customer journey map” (CJM) is compiled.

In-depth interviews

Based on the results of the first and second stages, we create a list of questions for in-depth interviews. We collect stories of the worst and best visits to cafes - usually people are willing to tell which experience was the most critical for them.

When they share stories, it's like they're showing us the tip of the iceberg. And by asking questions, we find out what problems they solve, what goals they want to achieve, why they went for this service or product and why they stop using it.

In one of the in-depth interviews, an elderly woman who has been going to Shokoladnitsa since Soviet times said that visiting the coffee shop helps her feel modern: “I come there and watch the young people. And I’m starting to feel like I’m one of them.” This was an insight: we, as researchers, never perceived Shokoladnitsa as a place where people come to make sure that they are in trend - we believed that people only come there to eat. But it turned out that older people, for whom social adaptation is very important, get a feeling of being modern in coffee shops. That is, it is not the “Chocolate Girl” who is growing old with them, but they are getting younger along with the “Chocolate Girl”.

Another insight: we saw that in the evening customers want a different menu, a different atmosphere (candles, more subdued lighting). As soon as Shokoladnitsa began introducing new scenarios for evening visits and changed the principle of serving dinners, it received an additional flow of customers, an increase in evening sales and an increase in the average check.

Term "empathy" comes from the Greek word “feeling” and denotes the ability to recognize and understand the internal experiences of another person.

If a person can determine the emotional state of other people, he is called empath.

For the first time, the definition of empathy in psychology was given by Sigmund Freud, speaking about the need for any psychoanalyst to be able to put himself in the place of his client.

There is not only emotional, but also aesthetic empathy, that is, the ability to deeply feel an artistic image.

This concept applies to almost all emotional manifestations of the individual: both positive and negative. If compassion implies the ability to sympathize in a difficult situation, then empathy also covers other feelings - anger, fear, joy, etc.

The depth of manifestation also varies: some people respond to emotions superficially, while others are completely immersed in the world of other people’s experiences. There are no substantiated explanations yet. Neuroscientists believe that this phenomenon occurs due to the work of so-called mirror neurons.

Without the ability to empathize, a person cannot become a good psychoanalyst or psychologist. This quality contributes to the development of communication skills and allows you to create productive working relationships with the patient that will contribute to solving a person’s personal problems. Many people far from science associate empathy with the presence of superpowers. However, this is not so: this property is quite explainable from a scientific point of view and has nothing to do with extrasensory perception.

It is important to note that empathy occurs without the participation of the intellect. Many researchers believe that this is an innate personality quality, determined genetically.

In the process of personality development, the ability for deep empathy can either increase or, on the contrary, weaken. Development depends on the richness of the individual’s inner world, the subtlety of his perception, the ability to listen to his interlocutor and a number of other factors. With the help of various trainings, empathic capabilities can be developed (only if they are inherent in the individual from the very beginning). Such trainings are very useful for people who, due to their line of work, have to communicate a lot and want to develop their communication skills.

Classification

Currently, psychology distinguishes several main types of empathy:

emotional, based on imitation of the behavioral reactions of other people;
cognitive, which is based on thinking processes;
predicative, manifested in the ability to predict the behavior and emotional reactions of others.

Probably, the ability for such perception is inherent in almost every person from the beginning. And this property needs to be developed in oneself in order to learn more effective communication. This is especially important for people who, by profession, often engage in communication, for example, psychologists, managers and teachers.

Levels of empathy

There is a classification of empaths based on the depth of awareness of the feelings and emotions of the people around them. Before moving on to classification, it is worth saying a few words about people who are completely devoid of the ability to empathize. As a rule, these people are inaccessible not only to the feelings of others, but also to their own emotions.

Non-empaths can determine how another person feels only by indirect manifestations, using intelligence and analytical skills. For such individuals, emotions are a somewhat frightening, uncontrollable factor that only makes life more difficult. Often, a complete lack of empathic perception is demonstrated by people with schizoid character accentuation, who are more prone to abstract logical constructs than to the world of feelings and emotional experiences.

Sociopaths are completely deprived of this ability: precisely because of the lack of the ability to empathize with others, they often commit illegal acts, not realizing that this can bring pain to others.

Empaths are able to identify their own feelings and understand what others are experiencing. At the same time, empathy for empaths is a natural process that does not require intellectual effort or awareness.

Level 1 empaths are able to identify what they themselves are feeling. At the same time, only fairly simple shades of feelings are available to them. They can perceive the emotions of others and do not always know how to differentiate other people’s emotions from their own.
Level 2 Empaths
are well aware of what emotional experiences are. They are able to intentionally read other people's experiences by looking into a person's eyes or taking a closer look at his motor skills.
Level 3 Empaths, as a rule, are aware of their own capabilities. They can clearly differentiate their own feelings from those of others, and they can determine the state of another without direct contact, for example, during a telephone conversation or even correspondence.
Level 4 empaths the entire range of other people's emotional manifestations is available. They can be aware of others' feelings without the need for direct contact. We can say that such people have increased intuition, which is often confused with extrasensory abilities. At the same time, level 4 empaths are able to understand not only emotions, but also what caused them.
In addition, such people manage to easily understand the emotions of several individuals with whom they are in direct contact. Level 4 empaths make excellent psychologists, psychiatrists, teachers, doctors, and even investigators. It is interesting that such individuals can even understand the emotional state of animals.
Level 5 empaths are able to use their abilities to manipulate the emotions of others.

Diagnostics

To understand whether a person is an empath, it is necessary to determine the presence or absence of empathic character traits.

Developing Empathy

Special testing is carried out to determine whether a person is able to understand the feelings of others. For diagnosis, psychologist A. Mehrabyan developed a special emotional response scale. Typically, this test is used for positions that require the ability to empathize with others and understand their emotional state.

Many people want to develop this ability. Psychologists say that this can be done, but you will have to put in a lot of effort and regularly perform simple exercises: Active listening
. Try to learn to listen and ask questions that reveal as much as possible the topic being discussed and the person's personality. The ability to share your own emotional reactions to what you hear (“When you told me this, it was very painful and unpleasant for me”) helps to develop empathy.”"Refuge"
To perform this exercise, you need to take a comfortable position. Try to imagine your own personal refuge. This could be your own home or an imaginary hut in the forest, a house in a clearing or a cave in a rock. Visualize your shelter in every detail. This place should evoke a feeling of peace and tranquility. Whenever you feel the need to get rid of anxiety, imagine your refuge: you will immediately experience relaxation and remove excess emotional “load”, which will allow you to better understand your interlocutors. Learn to give compliments.
This is not about flattery: just don’t be afraid to tell others that you like their hairstyle, that you are amazed by their abilities and skills in any field of activity, etc. Over time, this will become a habit, and you will become a much more pleasant person to talk to . Unfortunately, negative feedback is more common in our culture: people easily criticize each other, but have difficulty giving compliments and praise. Carefully analyze your own behavior.

Don’t think that this is pointless soul-searching: by analyzing your actions, you will be able to better understand those around you.

It has been proven that the higher the ability in question, the more actively a person tries to avoid disputes and conflicts. If this fails, the empath gradually puts an invisible barrier between himself and other people, which helps him to remain in a calm state, while simultaneously destroying his unique ability to empathize with the emotional world of others.

Developing empathy in children

Children, as a rule, have extremely pronounced empathy. This helps them explore the world and their own personality, build emotional contacts with others.

A child’s empathy depends on how much the ability to empathize is developed in his loved ones. Empathy develops well in children whose parents do not have problems with their own emotions and give the child love and care. In such a family, children develop abilities for altruism: understanding the feelings of others, the child easily comes to the aid of others. Fostering empathy is the task of the child’s parents.

You should not try to forcefully make your child an empath. At an early age, the baby simply will not understand the angry parental phrase: “Look, you brought your sister to tears!” Of course, the child will quickly realize what his parents want from him and will be able to feign remorse for his actions.

Such behavior cannot be called genuine empathy. Parents should show by example what empathy is and why it is necessary. In addition, some children are not at all predisposed to such an ability: in this case, simultaneously with the emotional sphere, one should work on the ability to understand other people's experiences on an intellectual level.

Practical use

The practical application of empathy is possible in the following areas:

Personnel management. Thanks to the ability in question, you can understand how employees feel about their work. Empathy is very important for people who are involved in sales: they can understand the buyer's emotions and develop more effective product promotion strategies.
Psychosomatics- an area that lies at the intersection of psychology and medicine and studies the connection between the psyche and the body (soma). Within the framework of psychosomatics, conflicts that lead to the development of various diseases, types of characters and personalities that act as a predisposition to certain diseases, etc. are studied.
It is believed that the psychological factor plays a significant role in the development of all diseases with the exception of injuries. Even infectious diseases, one way or another, are associated with the psyche, because the emotional background affects the immune system. If the doctor is an empath, he will be able to quickly determine what factors caused the disease and build productive communication with the patient, which will make a huge contribution to healing.
Working with motivation and fulfillment of desires. In the modern world, trainings aimed at identifying one’s own goals and intentions are in demand. An empath is able to sense what another person really wants, which makes him an extremely effective coach.
Pedagogy. An empathic teacher is able to find an individual approach to each student and build psychological contact with even the most difficult students. Typically, such teachers are not only able to convey material of any complexity, but also leave an indelible mark on the souls of their students.

Empathy - It’s a very valuable skill, and with a little effort, anyone can develop it. You shouldn’t give up on this: an empath finds everyday communication with others much easier and is able to achieve great success in life using his unique abilities.

Video on the topic: Empathy. Someone else's pain | Great Leap