Why does the teacher find fault? How to differentiate between prejudice and demandingness

Despite numerous innovations in education, in many Russian schools the following principle applies: “The teacher is always right!” On the one hand, this is justified: if we take into account the desires of all the children in the class, there will not be enough time for learning. On the other hand, it often leads to arbitrariness on the part of the teacher. How should parents behave in this situation? Psychologist Maria Baulina talks on Rambler/Family.

There is safety in numbers

Some parents believe that it is necessary to teach their child to independently resolve conflict situations and not interfere in his relationships with teachers. But most schoolchildren, especially primary schoolchildren, do not have sufficient diplomatic skills. Quite often, children not only cannot find an adequate solution to the problem, but also aggravate the conflict or stop defending their rights. Therefore, the task of parents is to show by their own example how to get out of a difficult situation without compromising their psychological state. In addition, the active behavior of mom or dad equalizes the forces of the conflicting parties, since the student occupies a subordinate position and does not have the necessary freedom of maneuver. Seeing that parents prefer to stay away, the child feels helpless and lonely.

At the same time, when talking about conflicts with teachers, we must proceed from the fact that the teacher can be both right and wrong. Therefore, before you put on Superman’s cape and fly to save the offended child, you need to listen to the teacher’s position.

Conflict with teacher

You should not catch a teacher on the way to school or start a conversation about a child when you accidentally meet in a store. Try to follow the rules adopted at school and make an appointment with the teacher in advance.

Do not make the child’s conflict with the teacher public by raising the issue about it at a parent-teacher meeting. Also try not to discuss the problem with other parents. Unfortunately, among them there may be “well-wishers” who will convey your words to the teacher in a distorted form, damaging your reputation. In addition, it is important that the child’s classmates do not find out about the details of the conflict in order to avoid gossip.

Do not start a conversation with the teacher with explicit or indirect accusations. It's better to start with a neutral phrase like: "I would like to know about my child's progress and behavior." If the teacher has any complaints, he will definitely express them.

Through the mouth of a baby

As a rule, in any conflict, the points of view of the parties differ greatly from each other. Moreover, this concerns not only ideas about who is right or wrong, but also about the content of claims. Children often formulate very uniquely the problems that arise in their relationship with the teacher. For example, a child may talk about how only “stars” can use colored pencils in math lessons, and this is the only way you will learn about the peculiar division of children in the class.

Many children, when assessing their relationship with a teacher, operate with the category of love. What can you do if every child wants the teacher to love him?! Therefore, when a student says that the teacher does not love him, it is important to understand whether the child means that the teacher does not show love (which is quite normal!) or shows disdain.

In order to prepare for a conversation with a teacher, try to collect as many facts as possible. For example, find in your child’s notebooks works that show C grades for several blots and no errors.

Child at school

When speaking with your teacher, try to remain dignified, no matter how hard it may take. Do not curry favor with the teacher, do not exaggerate your child’s guilt in order to reduce the intensity of passions. Don't be afraid that the teacher will “ruin the life” of your son or daughter. If a child’s rights are violated, it is necessary to make him feel comfortable at school. This is a much more important task than the coveted “A” in Russian or English.

Even if your child’s knowledge barely corresponds to a C, this does not give the teacher the right to publicly call him a “stupid.”

When talking with a teacher, make sure that the conversation is based on specific facts, and not on his emotional assessment of the situation. Do not hesitate to clarify and ask again why the teacher made such conclusions about the student’s behavior.

Take into account not only the characteristics of the child’s actions, but also the nuances of the atmosphere of the educational institution: relationships in the classroom, the teacher’s teaching style. They may go against your views on life, but in this case it is better to play on the opponent’s field and by his rules.

If the teacher does not seem like a child-hater, seek help from him as a professional and experienced teacher. Ask a direct question: how does he see a successful way out of this situation and what advice can he give to you and your child?

If you can’t have a constructive conversation with your teacher, don’t be afraid to move on to other levels of problem solving. There is a school psychologist, head teacher, director, representatives of the education department, etc.

In some cases, moving to another class or school is not a defeat, but an opportunity to get rid of a whole bunch of problems at once.

Sometimes teachers are overly demanding of children and needlessly scold and bully them. If your child finds himself in this situation, you can help him by reading one of the conspiracies that I will talk about in this article. By the way, these conspiracies not only restore the normal attitude of teachers towards children, but also make studying easier.

Conspiracy for a good teacher attitude

This conspiracy is guaranteed to save your child from the teacher’s biased attitude towards him. You will immediately notice the effect of the conspiracy - the child will become calmer and will receive good grades.

To carry out the conspiracy, take a raw chicken egg and when the child is sleeping, go up to him, place the egg on his forehead and quietly say:

“Just as the egg appeared before the hen, so the student is more important than the teacher. Shut the mouth of my son’s teacher (name of the teacher) with rotten eggs, so that he does not bother my son in vain. Amen.”

After this, you need to fry the egg for your son in the morning (make scrambled eggs). In three days the teacher will be replaced - he will treat your child like a human being.

A conspiracy to prevent teachers from being scolded

A child can do this spell on his own. In the morning, when he enters school and crosses the school threshold, he must say to himself three times:

“I came to learn, not to cause nagging. Let the teachers be kind and fair to me. Amen.”

And his studies will take place peacefully, without conflict with teachers.

Conspiracy for easy study

This plot is done at night while the child is sleeping. Boil three chicken eggs. Light a church candle, place eggs in front of the candle and say seven times:

“Just as the egg was the beginning, so let learning serve as the beginning. May it be simple, clear and successful. And may the good angels help my son, the servant of God (son’s name), learn easily and with interest. Amen.”

A conspiracy to increase good grades

For this plot you need an onion. The child himself can do the plot. The bulb must be placed in a jar of water so that 1/4 of its part is in the water (where the roots are). And I must say a spell on the onion:

“As the onion grows, so will my grades grow. Just as the onion goes feather by feather, so will I get five marks after five. Just as the meadow grows young and green, so I will become an excellent student. Amen.”

And you need to put the onion on the windowsill so that it starts to grow. It is necessary to periodically change the water and monitor the onions. When the onion grows to its maximum (and stops growing), you need to add another onion, and the child needs to eat this grown green onion himself.

If your child needs to take final exams, I can recommend another article -

DatsoPic 2.0 2009 by Andrey Datso

In many Russian schools there is a principle: “The teacher is always right!” On the one hand, this is justified: if we take into account the desires of all the children in the class, there will not be enough time for learning. On the other hand, it often leads to arbitrariness on the part of the teacher. How should parents behave in this situation?

There is safety in numbers

Through the mouth of a baby

Summit

Even if your child’s knowledge barely corresponds to a C, this does not give the teacher the right to publicly call him a “stupid.”

Many students have conflicts with teachers. In most cases, this happens through the fault of schoolchildren, but often through the fault of the teachers themselves. One such situation can discourage interest in a particular subject forever.

Why do teachers find fault and what is the right thing for children to do? The first rule is not to remain silent about it, but be sure to talk to your parents or even a school psychologist.

Among the reasons for teacher nagging, the most common are personal hostility and the desire to gain benefits. Most parents whose children are bullied in class trying to appease teachers with gifts or money. This is fundamentally wrong, because with such actions they create a bad tradition and themselves encourage teachers to such behavior. Problems with teachers most often arise among “new students” who had to change school and place of residence, for example, because of their parents’ work.

How to understand that the behavior of a teacher, especially a class teacher, does not correspond to pedagogical ethics? The teacher who delivered goal unfairly to find fault, does the following:

invades the student’s personal space, publicly ridicules his shortcomings, discusses his family affairs, health or other problems;
compares children with each other, elevating “favorites” and humiliating others;
encourages teenagers to report each other;
threatens to punish for the slightest offense;
lowers grades and tries to “fail” the student.

Of course, you can buy the teacher such a desired gift or treat him to dinner at a restaurant, but this will not get rid of all unpleasant situations in the future. It is necessary not to buy off problems, but to solve them. Parents will not be able to be there all their lives and come to the rescue when needed. Eat several ways to solve such a misunderstanding:

Transfer to another school. Sometimes this is the only way out. There is no need to be shy or afraid, but clearly and firmly tell your parents about your intentions.
Seek justice through the press, contact the director or the education department (provided that the teacher openly demands money or it has become unbearable to study). In this way, you can unite with other victims of the teacher’s bad attitude and achieve his punishment.
Adapt to the situation, that is, ignore the teacher’s nagging or pretend to agree. Perhaps, if the teacher understands that there is no reaction to his criticism, he will lose the point of finding fault and fall behind.

Some teachers offend, as they say, out of good intentions. In other words, criticize means they see potential. This is also the wrong approach to the student, especially if he is already a teenager and emotionally unstable. In this case, you should try to figure it out with the teacher yourself.

After the lesson you need to come and clarify, what wishes he has regarding the educational process of a particular student. You need to show that you are ready to hear the teacher, that his opinion is important to you. There is a chance that he really wants the best for the children and wants the best of them to develop to the maximum.

If you have made such a conclusion, there is no need to go into confrontation, respond with rudeness and express dissatisfaction. Promise the teacher that you will try your best and that you appreciate his concern.

If the teacher continues to cling and spoil the mood, you need to learn not to pay attention to criticism, but to take into account only constructive comments.

How to properly prepare for a lesson? We must immediately realize that school was invented not at all in order to mock children, but in order to educate them into smart, civilized people. You can choose a class or gymnasium with an appropriate focus in order to devote more effort to the subjects that you like. But it happens that even your favorite disciplines “do not come to mind” due to conflicts with the teacher. Perhaps, instead of arguing with him, it is better to just listen to him carefully to better understand the material. Paying attention in class is already half of your homework.

If you want to find out something directly on hand (regarding its topic), you should think through questions and possible arguments in advance if you are not satisfied with the teacher’s answer. You can write them down and look at the cheat sheet, so you will show your interest. You need to speak calmly, without barbs or bad words. If a teacher shouts or expresses himself tactlessly, this does not mean that you need to take an example from him.

It is necessary to write down in class what the teacher recommends. This could be an abbreviated version or even short notes. No teacher will like it if during his lessons they look dreamily out the window or chat with friends on the phone. He will consider it a sign of disrespect and will definitely not praise you.

Everyone knows that it is rude to laugh and talk with other students during class. But if these are remarks on the topic, then they are acceptable. The teacher always sees when students are interested in what he is talking about and when they are not. Teachers love active students, so don’t be shy to ask interesting, leading questions. But anyway try to argue less, because school is a temple of knowledge, and not a studio for discussions and shows.

If the teacher doesn't like your behavior, politely apologize and try to prevent him from calling your father or mother to school. But if he still wants to meet his parents, he should not go with them, this will only aggravate the conflict.

If a teacher made an entry in his diary, for example, “Laughed in class,” or “Chewed gum,” this is not a reason to make him a sworn enemy. Look at such comments with humor, and henceforth behave civilly.

It is not uncommon for teachers to deliberately present material poorly and give bad grades, and then offer individual services for payment. You should not agree to this, because in this way you will only perpetuate this harmful practice. Everything needs to be fine analyze and find out for yourself whether you need a tutor or you are able to master the discipline yourself.

Study more at home, look for additional literature, and use the Internet. If you are confident in your knowledge, but your grades are unfairly lowered, You can contact the Department of Education or other authorities. Teachers do not need hype and red tape, and after trying to protect their rights, they can change their attitude to a more adequate one.

So, to resolve a conflict with a teacher, you need to adhere to following rules:

find out the reason for the nagging;
try to smooth out the situation in a calm, peaceful way;
be cultured and balanced, not be fooled by provocations;
do not lie to your parents that everything is fine, or, conversely, exaggerate the teacher’s guilt in your favor;
if everything turns into open hostility, move to another school.

When trying to resolve a conflict show that you don't want to quarrel, but to find a common language. Do not interrupt the teacher, let him express the essence of his requirements. Perhaps he is fundamentally right, but he chose the wrong approach to the student. Share your vision of the educational process, but in an unobtrusive manner. You can praise the teacher, but don’t suck up!

Adolescence is a period of personality and worldview formation. The teacher must understand that he is no longer communicating with a child, but with an adult who has his own dignity.

If the boss makes our life completely unbearable, we can change jobs, or, in extreme cases, quit and live poorly but happily. If a teacher makes a child’s life miserable, he has no choice, because he cannot refuse to come to school. The only thing he can do is turn to his parents for help. How can you help a child whose teacher is harassing him with nagging and comments?

First, we must try to understand what is behind the child’s complaints. Perhaps the teacher's complaints are justified, and the child is really very distracted, forgetful or lazy. Very often, parents do not notice problems that catch the teacher’s eye for a long time. If the teacher's behavior can truly be regarded as groundless nagging, it is important to communicate with the parents of other students. Sadly, there is a chance that we are simply talking about a peculiar style of teaching, from which all students suffer equally. The chances of re-educating a teacher are very small, and, apparently, the main skill that a child will take away from these classes will not be knowledge of the subject, but the ability to adapt to different types of authorities. Also, by the way, a very good skill...

If, after an initial investigation, it turns out that this is really a matter of nagging aimed strictly at one child, parents will have to take certain measures. First, you should talk to the teacher herself. Often, a detailed, calm conversation with an explanation of how hard the child perceives such an attitude and constant comments radically improves the situation.

At the same time, of course, it would be nice to try to find out what caused the teacher’s behavior. Very often, children whose knowledge is ahead of their emotional development become victims of unfounded claims. These are smart, developed, well-read children, accustomed to amaze adults with their reasoning and cause constant delight. In the classroom, such children often speak without permission, argue with the teacher, insist on their own vision of the issue, putting the teacher in an awkward position, and sometimes simply disrupting the lesson. In this case, of course, it would be useful to teach the child the concepts of hierarchy, submission to social norms and etiquette.

If an attempt to resolve the situation directly fails, the only thing left to do is complain. First of all, you need to talk with the class teacher, then with the school counselor (“yoetset”), and, if all this does not help, with the school principal. In many cases, a complaint and demonstration of a clear parental position is enough for the teacher to learn to control herself, even if a particular student irritates her in some way. In some cases, the situation is so hopeless that it is easier to talk to the school administration about transferring the student to another class.