Narcissism is one of the manifestations of a personality disorder - a psychological condition characterized by inflated self-esteem.

If we put medical terminology aside, narcissism can be described as pathological love for one’s own person, which is expressed in the form of constant narcissism. People with this problem face difficulty in social adaptation in society because they do not know how to build communicative connections with others. Even the closest circle of the “narcissist” finds it quite difficult to get along with him on the same territory. In this article, we propose to consider various aspects associated with this personality disorder.

Daffodils are not only cute flowers, but also a certain type of personality In the minds of many people, the word “narcissus” brings to mind the image of a snow-white flower with a yellowish center. However, the word is also used as a medical term for personality disorder.

Narcissism is a pathological narcissism accompanied by inflated self-esteem.

It is the above-mentioned legend that best demonstrates the characteristics of narcissism. However, with the development of modern medicine, the concept in question has lost its clear boundaries. Today, the term “narcissism” is used to describe not only narcissism, but also ambition, in which a person is firmly convinced of his superiority over others.

When faced with various life difficulties, narcissistic people cannot find an explanation for them, which gives rise to internal conflicts. The presence of such conflicts can cause more serious mental disorders. This explains the need to combat pathological narcissism.

How narcissism manifests itself

1. Having considered what narcissism is, the definition of which was given above, we should proceed to the signs of manifestation of a personality disorder. Thanks to many years of research on this issue by the world's leading experts in the field of psychology, medicine has the opportunity to determine the presence of the personality disorder in question based on the following signs:
2. Excessive attention to the importance of one’s own person;
3. Contempt for those people who do not meet the criteria of perfection, in the opinion of the narcissist.
4. Desire is constantly in the spotlight, becoming an object of admiration.
5. A strong belief in the uniqueness of one’s own personality.
6. Passionate desire to possess material wealth and power.
7. Complete or partial lack of feelings of compassion.
8. Arrogant demeanor, shockingness, commercialism.
9. Concealing one's own negative qualities, increased criticism of the shortcomings of others.
10. Aggression and violence in response to constructive criticism.
11. Having a strong belief that everyone around you is jealous of your success.

Boasting about imaginary “achievements.”

In everyday consciousness, a narcissist is a person who is in love with himself

It is important to mention that there is no affectation in the behavior of narcissists. All actions carried out aimed at admiring one’s own person bring them true pleasure. Narcissistic behavior is a focus on self-gratification, which is the exact opposite of playing for the audience.

According to statistical data, narcissism in women has a pronounced form of expression. This can be explained by “feminine nature.” In order to attract the attention of men, women are forced to pay increased attention to their own appearance. However, “dancing in front of the mirror,” frequently changing outfits and constantly adjusting one’s hair are not signs of a psychological disorder.

At a young age, signs of narcissism in women appear quite rarely. Most girls between the ages of sixteen and thirty do not need constant attention to their own appearance. Moreover, arrogant behavior and elevating one's own status above others can help attract the attention of the opposite sex.

Narcissistic women prefer gentle and caring partners as life partners.

The presence of the pathology in question implies a constant need for admiration from others. The character of a man is the last thing that interests women of this type, so most men next to a narcissistic woman have a certain dependence on the opinion of the majority. Since narcissists reserve the dominant role in relationships, they prefer to avoid alliances with decisive and ambitious individuals.

The first clear signs of narcissism in women appear after childbirth. Since the child is a direct reflection of the mother, she pays increased attention to creating an ideal image. The life of such children is quite difficult, since their mothers constantly expect extraordinary abilities from them. Many mothers try to instill their own ideals and worldviews in their children. A child in such a family grows up in constant stress due to the fact that every action taken must evoke approval from the mother.

Narcissism is, first of all, a character trait; it manifests itself in an individual’s excessive and inflated love for himself.

Male narcissism

Signs of narcissism in men are most pronounced during adolescence. Life activity and a constant increase in the circle of friends forces a teenager to look for various ways to take a leading position among his environment. However, narcissists tend to have no close friends. At a young age, narcissistic boys pay increased attention to their own appearance. In modern society, such behavior can be regarded as a manifestation of non-traditional orientation.

Quite often, men suffering from the psychological disorder in question experience difficulties in building relationships with the opposite sex. Despite the fact that such relationships may be interesting and unusual for women, very soon they realize that the man is paying less and less attention to their union.

When men with this personality disorder create a social unit, they direct all their attention to further self-affirmation.

A woman who is next to such a man can calmly perceive his shortcomings. Psychology characterizes narcissism in men as a pathological infatuation with one’s own ambitions. Children in such families experience an acute lack of parental attention and love, since the woman gives all her love only to the man. The main problem with male narcissism is that achieving goals does not cause a feeling of satisfaction.

Having reached middle age, a man comes to the conclusion that narcissism does not bring the same pleasure, but it is too late to turn his attention to other areas (career achievements, family values).

Relationship between two narcissists According to psychologists, couples consisting of two people with pathological narcissism are quite common. Family relationships of such couples are built on the foundation of love for one’s own personality.

. In such couples, each partner pays increased attention to himself, and the second does not show a negative attitude towards such behavior. Partners in such couples constantly support each other, which promotes mutual understanding and the absence of conflicts.

The emergence of narcissism is based on the early assessment of children's actions by parents.

Unlike parents, children in such couples have a rather difficult time. Most parents suffering from narcissism try to embody in their children what they could not achieve on their own. According to psychologists, in most cases, a family of two narcissists raises a child who is prone to this psychological disorder.

Narcissism is a mental illness that can cause sexual deviation, aimed at feeling sexual attraction to oneself. The terms “autoeroticism” and “autophilia” are used to describe this pathological condition. According to experts, it is the narcissistic behavior that is the cause of the appearance of this pathology. At the initial stages of the development of the disease, a person receives real pleasure by admiring his own reflection.

Thoughts about one’s own ideality become the cause of euphoria and delight. At a certain stage of sexual deviation, narcissism manifests itself in the form of physical self-gratification, where during the process itself the narcissist takes pleasure in the feeling of his own beauty.

Freud's opinion

The founder of many psychotherapeutic practices, Sigmund Freud, said that the syndrome in question is often observed in children raised in single-parent families. In his opinion, the pathological love of a single mother for her own child leads to the fact that at a certain stage of growing up, the child begins to personify himself with his own mother. It is this reason that is the root of internal conflicts that become the basis for the formation of mental disorders. In the case of boys, such an attitude from the mother can cause a tendency toward homosexuality, since feminine traits predominate in a man’s character.

The term "narcissism" has been used in the field of psychoanalysis for more than one century. Sigmund Freud introduced several similar concepts, from which narcissistic libido should be distinguished. This term should be understood as sexual energy directed towards one’s own personality. According to a famous psychologist, this condition is a mental disorder that requires timely treatment.

Everyone has narcissism to varying degrees.

Contact with a narcissist

A narcissist is a person with a complex mental disorder who needs to communicate with people around him. However, in the process of communication itself, various difficulties may arise due to a specific manner of behavior. It is important to understand that the desire to rise above others is not a negative character trait, but one of the symptoms of the disease.

When a person’s social circle contains people with obvious signs of the syndrome in question, the first person has to adapt himself to a certain framework of communication. First of all, most narcissists seek to devalue the virtues of others. In order to feel their own importance, narcissists are forced to constantly search for the shortcomings and shortcomings of other people. Based on this, when communicating with such a person, you should open up as much as possible in order to reduce doubts in your person. This approach to communication makes narcissists feel respect for the interlocutor.

Treatment of narcissism

Narcissism is a disease that can become the basis for more complex mental disorders. However, people suffering from this syndrome rarely turn to psychologists because they do not notice the symptoms of the disease. In their opinion, the chosen behavioral model is correct and adequate. In the case of deficit narcissism, the person is highly dependent on public opinion. With this form of pathology, the patient does not receive a sense of satisfaction from his own personality. To feel important, the patient needs constant admiration from others, otherwise a serious internal conflict may arise.

A person with the disease in question needs urgent psychological treatment. It is very important that psychotherapy sessions are carried out by an experienced specialist with extensive experience in the treatment of personality disorders.

Surely each of us has encountered in life a person who sees nothing else but himself. We jokingly call such people “narcissists,” recalling the hero of ancient mythology. But few people realize that such behavior can sometimes be a sign of a disease called pervasive narcissism.

According to ICD-10, this disease is a specific disorder of personality and behavior. It is characterized by:

• Unreasonably high self-esteem.
• Lack of feeling for another person.
• Superiority over others.

Diagnosis of the disease is not based on specific criteria; it is enough for a specialist to see the signs of the disorder. Narcissism has a lot in common with sociopathy. But its main difference is that a narcissist strives to achieve his own success with all his might, while a sociopath is unable to adhere to a goal for a long time due to his immoral life.

The most dangerous person for others is a person suffering from perverted narcissism.

Such a person will be:

• Manipulate people.
• Turn any situation to your advantage.
• Avoid open conflicts.
• Imposing on other people a good opinion of yourself.
• Appreciate only what concerns only their person.

Why does narcissism occur?

Experts cannot pinpoint the exact causes of the disease, but they identify several stimulating factors.

The first of them is an inferiority complex. Low self-esteem inherent in childhood can be provoked by defective upbringing: permissiveness or excessive severity. In addition, narcissism can develop in children who are unfamiliar with parental praise and support or, conversely, who have grown up in the image of an idol for worship.

An important role in the development of narcissism is played by genetic predisposition, namely the degree of resistance to stress and temperamental characteristics.

Signs of the disease often appear in adolescents, but in this age period it rarely signals the development of the disease and goes away as the child grows older.

In some cases, narcissism is a symptom of a serious mental disorder, such as schizophrenia. For some time, patients ceased to understand reality and began to perceive themselves as higher beings.

Signs of narcissism in men and women

Narcissism in men is manifested by an attempt to gain some kind of significance in the eyes of others and their own. By catering to his ambitions, the patient often achieves high career success, but the heights achieved are quickly replaced by spiritual emptiness. On average, until the age of forty, a narcissist derives happiness from the emergence of new goals and their achievement. But having crossed a certain age limit, they begin to feel emptiness and worthlessness. In addition, they find it increasingly difficult to relate to people around them. According to statistics, family members of many narcissistic men become victims of their abuse.

Narcissistic women stand out for their ambition. They often quarrel with their children because they set high expectations for them and are very disappointed when they do not get what they expected. Such a woman’s husband will most often be calm and caring, but she will not respect him. A couple will have an “interesting” union where both partners suffer from narcissism. In such a relationship, mutual rivalry and caustic criticism will come first, so this relationship will end quickly.

Diagnosis of pathology

Diagnosis of the disease and any of its forms involves a physical examination of the patient in order to understand the reasons for the presence of problems that provoked a personality disorder. If there are no such diseases, the specialist resorts to a structured interview. During this technique, he studies the patient’s words and behavior, draws appropriate conclusions and identifies typical symptoms of a psychological illness.

As practice shows, recognizing a narcissist is not difficult. Such people have problems in all areas of life, while the patient himself does not agree with this. Denial of disharmony in life is a characteristic symptom of narcissism. Another striking sign of the disease is an inadequate reaction to criticism: a narcissist will never be able to calmly listen to negative information about himself.

In addition to interviews, the specialist may use other psychological techniques.

Studying patients for perverse narcissism involves differentiating the disease from antisocial, borderline and hysterical disorders. Since the patient himself does not understand the problematic nature of his condition, people from the narcissist’s close circle most often seek qualified medical help. From them, the doctor can also learn useful information that will facilitate the rapid diagnosis of the disease and the selection of effective therapy.

Recognize and neutralize – treatment of the syndrome

When developing therapeutic measures, the specialist takes into account the individual characteristics of each clinical manifestation of the disease. Since the disease is chronic, its treatment can be very problematic. As practice shows, in every situation, properly designed psychological assistance plays a key role in the patient’s recovery. Considering the fact that patients rarely voluntarily agree to treatment, the specialist is obliged to find the right approach to the narcissist. Very often, to do this, they begin to demonstrate favor and respect for the patient.

Psychotherapy shows a high therapeutic effect in the treatment of perverted narcissism. Classes are available individual and group. Conversations are held with patients to help them recognize and neutralize the illness that has affected them. They are taught to evaluate themselves correctly and make rational decisions. At this stage, the psychotherapist is required to competently reveal the essence of narcissism as a disease. If he does not do this, the patient may resist treatment, arguing that it is a loss of personal dignity.

The use of special medications is advisable if the patient suffers from:

• Depression.
• Panic attacks.
• Phobias and similar mental problems.

In such a situation, a specialist can prescribe the patient to take tranquilizers, antidepressants and herbal medicines.

Pharmaceuticals can only minimize the symptoms of the disease, but not cure the patient from it.

Prevention measures

Since narcissism develops based on certain reasons, its development can be prevented if the child is raised as a normal person from childhood.

To do this, parents need:

• To instill in your child self-respect and independence from the opinions of others.
• Allow your child to cry if necessary.
• Be able to firmly refuse the baby’s whims and not give in to hysterics.
• Praise the child if he honestly deserves it. At the same time, experts advise not to praise his merits to others in the presence of the baby.
• Protect your child from family scandals.
• Raise a child with the idea that he is an important part of society, but those around him should not fulfill his every whim.

Narcissism is understood as a character trait in which a person tries in every possible way to protect his personality from any criticism. Such a person has narcissism and inflated self-esteem. If any claims are made against his person, he becomes very upset and angry. A person suffering from narcissism is confident in his exclusivity, in the fact that he is a truly unique creation. He demands to be treated according to his inner conviction. At the same time, there is often a disdainful attitude towards other people, and an opinion is formed that others should blindly fulfill the wishes of the narcissist. It may seem strange to someone to say that such a person suffers, but he suffers from his own views and does not give himself the opportunity to truly enjoy life. Let's take a closer look at this issue.

Recognizing narcissism is not at all difficult. As a rule, such a person himself begins to demonstrate his problem. This is not the case when the difficulty is hidden and hidden in every possible way even from close people. You will not pass by someone who is constantly demonstrating something, trying to seem better than he really is. Signs of narcissism are literally striking and cannot go unnoticed by others.

Heightened self-esteem

Narcissism expresses itself in inappropriately inflated self-esteem. Such a person thinks that he is much better than others. He sees those around him as unworthy of his attention, stupid and petty. If a narcissist is at least somewhat involved in intellectual work, he will despise ordinary people engaged in hard physical work. In most cases, the narcissist is lazy and will not do anything without wanting to. Such narcissism does not allow you to build sincere relationships or find true friends. Inflated self-esteem prevents you from really working on your shortcomings, since they are not even noticed.

For such a person there are no internal barriers or restrictions. She is incapable of giving because she only cares about her own comfort and well-being. In most cases, people around notice this personality trait, and it cannot but repel. As a result, a person becomes even more lonely and strengthens his own rightness regarding his person.

Waiting for admiration

Another sign of narcissism is a manic desire to gain the admiration of people. Thus, a person becomes stronger in his irresistibility and uniqueness. Narcissism is a one-man show. Most often, such a person does not really represent much, but talks a lot and attracts excessive attention to himself. He knows how to charm, constantly talks only about himself, emphasizes his strengths and hides his shortcomings. In fact, such a person suffers from extreme self-doubt and tries to hide it behind a mask of narcissism. It is important for him to receive recognition from people. Otherwise, he will not be able to fully exist. Such a person cannot sit alone at home; it is important for her to convey some ideas and views to others. Basically, any thoughts and views will relate directly to his own person. Narcissism only forces you to take, and sometimes forcefully, and not to give. That is why such a person sooner or later begins to feel deeply unhappy.

Ignoring criticism Narcissism sometimes completely clouds the mind. The person does not notice anyone around him. He ignores criticism and turns a deaf ear to any comments. Sometimes it is much more difficult to come to an agreement with him than with an aggressive person. This is how a person behaves who has become extremely entrenched in his own superiority over others. Men and women are equally susceptible to the influence of narcissism in their lives. And if a person does not have an understanding of the need to treat others with respect, then he will not do it.

Lack of compassion

Usually a person has some awareness that other people can also suffer and at some point they need help and participation. A true narcissist does not recognize these laws. For him, the whole world revolves only around his own needs and desires. By default, he accepts concern for himself from those around him, and does not strive to thank him for anything. He will never show sympathy. Someone else's grief does not concern him in any way. Lack of compassion is also a sign of narcissism. The more callous and impenetrable a person is, the stronger his sense of personal exclusivity grows.

It costs him nothing to offend his interlocutor. Sometimes people deliberately provoke others into a quarrel in order to make sure that they are irresistible.

Self-confidence

True narcissism necessarily implies intense self-confidence. It is difficult to convince such a man or woman of anything. For some people, signs of narcissism literally appear on their faces. They demonstrate in everything how much they love themselves. Most often, they will argue to the last, defending their interests even when no one is trying to challenge these interests. As a rule, such people are quite ambitious and believe that they can achieve any success. At the same time, they actually put little effort into developing somehow. All their activities come down to creating the appearance of success, and not really attracting it into their lives. Overconfidence as a sign of narcissism is quite easily recognized. If a person constantly demonstrates to others how wonderful and unique he is, this is already a significant reason to think about it. The demonstration of success is also imaginary.

A characteristic sign of narcissism is a sense of personal exclusivity. Such a person, as a rule, is convinced of his irresistibility, that his capabilities are much wider than those of those around him. Narcissists love to attract attention to themselves and constantly turn the conversation to the topic of themselves. They cannot and do not want to learn to understand the people around them, they do not consider their deeds and actions to be at all significant.

It is incredibly difficult to interact with such a person. Sometimes it feels like you have to constantly break through a thick wall of misunderstanding. In addition, feigned mannerism and pride can be incredibly annoying and repulsive. That is why such people are in most cases lonely and no one needs them.

Narcissism in men and women

Narcissism occurs in both men and women. Men place the main emphasis on their achievements. A narcissistic man will treat a woman with disdain. A narcissistic man perceives the whole world as a gift for himself alone. He is not used to denying himself anything, sacrificing his interests. Such a man is always right. Even if he hasn’t really achieved anything in life, everyone will talk about how he managed to achieve incredible achievements. In fact, a man who has made it a rule to admire himself is often financially dependent on his mother or his other half. Men are narcissists who are more demanding and proud than women. In some cases, such people do not care at all about their family, because they get used to taking care only of themselves.

As for women suffering from narcissism, such individuals are extremely concerned about their own appearance. They are unlikely to earn money themselves. Most likely, their plans include finding a man with a fat wallet who will support them all their lives. Such women admire themselves at every opportunity. Men, in their understanding, exist only to satisfy their many needs. All this, of course, is sad, but men often really sometimes admire such ladies, because they seem inaccessible, they want to be conquered, conquered.

Like any phenomenon, the development of narcissism must have its own reasons. These reasons are quite specific, since they affect the problem of personality development.

Low self-esteem How to get rid of this? Just work on yourself, eliminate the reasons that led to the development of narcissism as a defensive reaction. When a person does not know what to do with his own life, problems will inevitably arise. It is worth understanding that depending on the opinions of others will not add happiness. You need to learn to develop your own opinions on important issues. Narcissism is a phenomenon that needs treatment. Moreover, treatment must be a meaningful and serious step taken of one’s own free will. Correcting low self-esteem will help improve the situation.

Overprotectiveness

Another reason for the appearance of narcissism is excessive care on the part of parents. When a child’s every step is watched, he forms a strong opinion that he himself will not be able to achieve anything in this life. In most cases, strong guardianship harms a person’s development and does not allow him to be himself. As an adult, such an individual will constantly try to seek confirmation of the correctness of his actions from others. And this behavior needs treatment.

Psychological trauma

A significant reason for the development of narcissism is the presence of one or more psychological traumas. A clear sign of internal trouble is precisely the conviction that other people must meet your requirements. Narcissism is often formed as a result of an incorrect approach to life. It can arise for many reasons, completely independent of upbringing.

Treatment of narcissism

Narcissism needs treatment because it makes a person suffer. Such treatment should be based on the formation of adequate self-esteem and on learning to respect others.

Developing Empathy

Selfless giving will help build empathy. A person must realize that one cannot constantly listen only to oneself and strive to satisfy only one’s own needs.

The individual must notice that there are other people living nearby who are in great need of help and support.

Special self-development trainings that require helping others will help you get rid of the false sense of superiority over others. Group psychotherapy is an excellent method of treatment for those who cannot imagine their life without narcissism. Men, as a rule, begin to heal faster than women. This is due to the fact that if he comes to realize his responsibility to his family, then this cannot be taken away. But in many cases, a woman still relies on her husband and it is difficult for her to give up many material benefits.

Recently, the slogan has become popular - love yourself, otherwise you will not be able to achieve success in life. When there is increased and unjustified self-love, then this is narcissism, which can cause serious problems. It is important to combat such deviations, otherwise the situation may worsen.

What is narcissism - definition

Psychologists believe that self-love is of great importance for every person, but there are times when everything goes beyond the boundaries and then we can already talk about narcissism. This is understood as a character trait that is expressed in high self-esteem and inexplicable love for one’s own person. In explaining why people are called daffodils, it is worth mentioning the ancient Greek myth that tells the story of the son of a river god who loved himself so much that he could not tear himself away from his reflection in the river and eventually died of exhaustion.

Destructive narcissism

This type of narcissism means a distortion or impairment of the ability to realistically perceive and evaluate oneself. It arises due to existing fears, disappointments, prohibitions, prejudices, and so on. The narcissism syndrome manifests itself in a great desire to be in the center of attention and to receive confirmation of one’s own importance from the people around him. The destructive type is characterized by an inadequately contradictory assessment of oneself. In addition, such people are closed and perceive others distortedly.

Pathological narcissism

This term refers to a disorder of character with serious personality disorders. People with such a problem can lead a successful life and occupy significant positions in society. Pathological narcissism is a psychological disease that can begin to develop in infancy, and the reason may lie either in the coldness of the mother or in excessive love.

Primary narcissism

This condition refers to the characteristics of a newborn and is explained by the fact that libido is more focused on oneself than on the world around him. Primary narcissism describes the initial state of the baby, since he is not yet able to distinguish between himself and external objects. The child feels omnipotent because all his needs are met quickly and unconditionally. In the future, the narcissist will be tempted to return to his original sense of security and narcissism, and this is secondary narcissism.

Perverse narcissism

This is the most severe form of narcissism, in which a person is unable to perceive other people as individuals. He easily takes advantage of others and does not think about their feelings and desires. The characteristics of a narcissist indicate that he constantly wants to assert himself at the expense of others, but at the same time he does not enter into open conflict. People with this disorder enjoy moral violence. The consequences of communicating with such a narcissist can be dire, ranging from serious depression to suicide.

Narcissism and sex

The presented concept in sexology has a different meaning, and it is understood as receiving sexual satisfaction from oneself, for example, while observing one’s body in the mirror. Psychopathy and narcissism are related in that when the situation is aggravated, a person experiences obsessive thoughts and actions, for example, frequent and prolonged masturbation. Often this state of affairs leads to serious disorders and cannot be avoided without the help of a specialist. Because narcissists are constantly searching for the perfect partner, they often engage in promiscuity.

Signs of Narcissism

You can recognize a person who admires himself by several characteristics:

1. He loves to talk, so he always inserts his opinion on any question, but what others say does not interest him at all. In addition, when telling any news, narcissists necessarily apply it to themselves.
2. Takes care of your health and appearance.
3. Narcissism and personality transformation are manifested in the fact that a person constantly thinks for himself so that he can feel comfortable and convenient.
4. The narcissist cannot calmly accept constructive criticism, and the narcissist considers even a small remark an insult.
5. Has a negative attitude towards people who require care, this also applies to animals. This is explained by the fact that they attract the attention of others, and narcissists do not like to share.
6. Narcissism manifests itself in the desire to hide one's shortcomings and exaggerate one's strengths.

Narcissism in men

In most cases, male narcissism manifests itself in the desire to assert oneself and prove one’s worth to oneself and others. Narcissists are literally delusional with success, are two-faced and consumers of women. Psychology explains that narcissism in men is a path to loneliness, since problems in the family and society cannot be avoided. If the worst form of this psychological condition is observed, then aggression may manifest itself, expressed in domestic tyranny.

Narcissism in women - signs

Women who suffer from narcissism spend a lot on caring for their appearance. Very rarely, such ladies earn money on their own, and they have sponsors, for example, men or parents. Narcissism in women is manifested in their consumerist attitude towards members of the opposite sex. What’s most interesting is that men themselves admire such ladies, because they seem so inaccessible to them. Women with narcissism often have problems communicating with children because they have excessive demands on them.

Causes of narcissism

Factors that provoke narcissism are of different nature:

1. Anatomical. Experiments have established that people with this deviation have a thickening of the cortex and outer membrane of the brain, as well as changes in some nerve cells. Scientists have determined that such disruptions affect parts of the brain responsible for the feeling of empathy.
2. Psychological. Male and female narcissism can be triggered by a variety of circumstances and include genetics, upbringing and numerous psychological factors. The most common reasons include excessive parental care, dependence on the opinions of others, psychological trauma and illness.
3. Children's. Many parents don’t even think about the fact that they are raising their child incorrectly. Permissiveness, excessive forgiving love, lack of attention from parents - all this can cause the development of narcissism, which is actually a defense mechanism.

Narcissism - treatment

It is rare to cope with a problem without the help of a psychologist. At first, the person will take a defensive position, so the specialist uses various tricks to win over the patient, for example, demonstrating his recognition and respect. At the same time, the psychologist uses numerous methods to regulate self-esteem. The disease narcissism includes two types of therapy:

1. Individual. The specialist uses various psychological practices, the main goal of which is to explain to the patient the principles of the formation of narcissism so that he accepts his problem. This often takes a long time.
2. Group. Working in a group is a must as it helps develop a healthy personality and learn to perceive other people. Group therapy teaches you to suppress narcissism and feel normal in society.

Test for narcissism

To diagnose the disorder, different techniques are used. It is mandatory to conduct a general examination and survey of those close to you to find out what caused the development of the deviation. There is a generally accepted NPI test that was developed in 1979, but it cannot be the only diagnostic tool. It is recommended to carry out the test together with a psychologist, who can additionally give the patient’s close relatives advice on how to survive in the world of narcissism.

The NPI test (you can pass it) consists of 40 pairs of statements, from which a person chooses only one option that is suitable for him. It is not recommended to think about questions for a long time, as this reduces productivity. The optimal time is 7-10 minutes. After this, the specialist analyzes the results and draws certain conclusions, for example, what type of narcissism is, how much the problem has worsened, and so on. In addition, the results help the psychologist develop the right treatment strategy.

Narcissistic personality disorder is considered one of the most insidious mental illnesses. Scientists were able to determine whether self-esteem affects human behavior only after studying the borderline forms of this disease. Next, we present the detailed results of their research.

Even the ancients had a story about a narcissistic young man. The instructive story tells about a pretty young man - Narcissus, who was in search of love. He had such a high opinion of his beauty that he even refused the beautiful nymph Echo. Soon after this, Narcissus accidentally noticed his reflection on the water. Unable to take his eyes off the picturesque face, he remained frozen in one place. Subsequently, a flower of the same name grew there, reminiscent of excessive self-love.

Thanks to the myth, self-centeredness, which is destructive for humans, received a sonorous name. The collective image of a narcissistic and arrogant personality was ideally embodied in an ancient legend. A short parable was able to convey the essence - the pretentious and distorted self-perception characteristic of all narcissists. Let us consider the phenomenon of narcissism in more detail.

Is narcissism a syndrome?

First of all, this is a complex mental disorder that causes harm not only to the “carrier”, but also to others. The matter is not limited to just inflated self-esteem and an inadequate need for people’s admiration. A person really thinks that he is superior to others (even relatives and partners). A narcissist demands special attention and royal privileges. He behaves arrogantly in society and treats its participants with contempt. Beginning in adolescence, the self-adoration of such people subsequently goes beyond all boundaries. A person develops obsessive fantasies about imaginary greatness. And high self-esteem does not justify this. For narcissists, it is rather inflated, not necessarily based on specific achievements in life.

The spectrum of mental disorder is quite large: from a “normal” narcissist to a pathological disease. The phenomenon can be classified as follows:

1. Constructive narcissism

This type of disorder is classified as so-called “healthy” manifestations. The need for dominance, communication and attention, one way or another, is characteristic of many of us. And it is not at all necessary to accuse all public people (athletes, politicians or actors) of excessive narcissism in advance. It is quite possible that a person simply wants to reveal his talent, help society, and realize healthy ambitions. The only exceptions are those people who achieve a high position in society in order to dominate others. By the way, this is the most common type of narcissism.

2. Vulnerable narcissism

This type of disorder is somewhat less studied because its representatives are difficult to identify. Behind a social mask and ostentatious bravado, they hide low self-esteem and mental vulnerability. Unlike the constructive type, vulnerable narcissists are afraid to show themselves in public: their sensitivity to criticism is too high. However, like the self-obsession of loved ones. Even phlegmatic and inconspicuous guys believe in their uniqueness and do not allow any doubts about it. However, they are easier to upset than public narcissists. Their self-esteem is shaky.

3. Narcissistic personality disorder

The extreme degree of development of narcissism is its pathological form (NPD). In this case, a person’s egoism goes beyond all moral boundaries. The behavior of a narcissist is akin to the habits of some wild animal. He easily makes reckless and immoral decisions, reacts aggressively to fair comments, and distorts even obvious facts in his favor. Such self-affirmation at the expense of others brings a lot of suffering to the loved ones and partners of the narcissist.

Narcissism and its symptoms

You can put together a number of factors that in one way or another influence the formation of a narcissistic personality:

1. Genetic factors (heredity really matters);

2. Biological (in individuals with NPD, scientists have discovered a lack of gray matter in the area of ​​the brain responsible for emotional behavior);

3. Social (if a strict parenting style can give impetus to the development of hidden narcissism, then constant praise is a constructive type of illness).

Excessive sensitivity, experiences of violence, family problems or permissiveness can also cause the development of the disorder. The onset of the disease can be determined by characteristic signs:

Grandiose conceit and the illusion of one’s own exclusivity;

A sense of superiority and, as a result, a tendency to exploit others;

Absence of the slightest sense of guilt for the heinous acts committed.

The narcissist skillfully devalues ​​others, and at the same time idealizes himself. This brings him some peace of mind. He is really concerned about his own image in the eyes of others, and does not allow criticism of it. He is in constant search of values ​​and status things that confirm his reputation as an exceptionally highly developed person. This is a supporter of bohemians, the elite class. A priori, a narcissist must be able to break any rules. All orders of a powerful person must be carried out unquestioningly, and motives must not be questioned. This is his credo.

At the same time, a person’s self-esteem may be unstable and fragile. The protective redoubts of the grandiose Ego sometimes so obscure the real personality that a person himself cannot understand himself.

Perverse narcissism and its treatment

Not every narcissist will cause outrage if he is somehow offended. Many people with signs of NPD try to fight their disease. However, there is also a category of people who are truly dangerous to society. They are called perverted narcissists. A feature of the psyche of such children is a tendency to moral violence in all its forms. Abuse is often accompanied by a distortion of the present state of affairs. By constantly turning a partner's words and arguments inside out, a perverted narcissist can easily drive him to suicide.

At the same time, they do not choose weak or inherently complex people as victims. Perverted narcissists are interested in successful representatives of the human race, full of health and strength. They squeeze their juices out so much that victims still have to heal psychological trauma for many years. Despite good camouflage skills, a perverted maniac can be identified by the following signs:

Negative attitude towards former partners, shifting responsibility for the breakup onto their shoulders;

Inability to admit one's mistakes, as well as a tendency to judge and criticize others;

The narcissist’s persistent desire to live together, to tie a partner to himself;

Visible deterioration in well-being, problems with psychosomatics after the start of a relationship with a perverted vampire;

Skillful imitation of human emotions along with the manifestation of reactions more likely to be characteristic of an animal or a psychopath;

Pathological envy coupled with a thirst for appropriation;

Taking pleasure in the suffering of others;

Conscious position of the victim to develop a guilt complex in the partner;

Denial of reality, avoidance of responsibility.

The goal of a perverted narcissist is to make others love him more than himself. Like a leech, it attaches itself to a person’s energy. At the first stage of the relationship, he uses the tactics of the “candy-flower period.” Treats you to your favorite dishes and gives valuable gifts. However, the feeling of inner insignificance, desperate envy and the illusion of one’s own greatness take their toll over time. Negative feelings spill out like an icy shower onto the “beloved” person. Communication becomes terrible, respect for the personality of the other disappears somewhere, and behavior becomes inexplicable from the point of view of ordinary logic. Instead of a loving partner, a ruthless monster appears.

Such a drastic change is necessary for the narcissist to make his victim feel guilty about what is happening. The methodical destruction of a partner's self-esteem, his humiliation and declassification are only occasionally replaced by outbursts of a complacent mood. These short-term “honeymoon” revivals are needed only to keep the partner close, to form codependency.

Then comes the second stage of unhealthy relationships: the narcissist actively uses mental blocks and insidious tactics. Coldness in relationships, irrational attacks of anger, torture by silence, threats of separation, ridicule of the partner's sensitivity, demonstrative non-compliance with one's obligations, accusations of dramatization - all this is in the arsenal of a perverted maniac. He seeks to depersonalize a previously healthy human personality in order to completely subjugate it to himself.

Narcissism in women

The excessive ambition of women with NPD is immediately noticeable. They spend an enormous amount of time and money on caring for themselves and treat their partners with conscientiousness. They try to choose caring and sensitive men for themselves, so that they can then mercilessly exploit them. They have absolutely no respect for them, they almost directly call them rags. At the same time, they don’t consider it necessary to earn their own living; they look for sponsors. Another distinctive feature of female narcissism can be considered problems in relationships with their own children. There is no true love between mother and child. Women often demand too much and do not rest on their laurels. Parental narcissism does not bring joy to children in life. Men, at first, admire their arrogant ladies.

Narcissism in men

If you look at the statistics, NPD is more often observed in men. It all starts in adolescence and then progresses slowly and surely. The peak of the disorder usually occurs after 35, when a person achieves high status in society. He gets the opportunity to assert himself and prove his exclusivity to everyone around him. Male narcissists openly use their women to climb the social ladder. In borderline forms of the disease, they become domestic tyrants and moral abusers. However, by doing so, the two-faced guys only bring the moment of their loneliness closer. Not every woman can withstand their regime.

Narcissism and forms of its treatment

Since we have already dealt with the behavioral patterns and key symptoms of NPD, we will now present ways to treat it. The difficulty of the latter lies in the fact that narcissists rarely turn to professional psychologists. They have difficulty admitting that they have problems. Most often, these guys come to the appointment because of a conflict with their partner. An experienced clinician will quickly recognize the behavior of a narcissist while observing their interactions.

Another reality that psychologists have to put up with is the impossibility of radical personality change. In the process of therapy, it is only possible to change a person’s attitude towards his own behavior, to open his eyes to the damage being done to all parties. Treatment can be considered successful if the client begins to better understand his meager emotions and discuss them with others. Learns to take responsibility, abandons exorbitant and unrealistic goals. Tolerant of other people's and own mistakes, and adequately perceives criticism. However, bypassing the narcissist's defensive posture is very difficult to achieve. Sometimes you have to play giveaway - to demonstrate your respect in every possible way to regulate a person’s self-esteem.

Treatment should take both individual and group forms. During group therapy, the patient learns to perceive and respect human dignity.

Narcissism and personality transformation

Freud wrote about pathological self-love in a negative aspect at the beginning of the century. Narcissism in psychoanalysis was viewed exclusively pejoratively: the patient was denied the opportunity for successful therapy due to his emotional impenetrability. In other words, they put an end to the person’s personality and rejected the person. Narcissism, according to Freud, has long served as a fundamental basis for psychological research, but further practice has shown the master’s judgments to be erroneous. Scientists have identified key disturbances in the interaction between the ego and the true personality, and have been able to classify mental disorders more structurally. Narcissism began to be considered not only in clinical psychiatry, but also in ordinary psychoanalytic offices.

Professionals have begun to recognize the objective reactions of a person with NPD who has gone through a specific traumatic experience. Determining a person's true identity allowed therapists to talk about the possibility of personality transformation. Moreover, the modern world initially sets unrealistic standards that undermine the human psyche. Nowadays you need to be smart, rich, forever young, etc. to keep up with the times. The inability to be perfect undermines self-esteem and provokes mental problems in a person. Social networks may not directly cause narcissism, but they do contribute to its development in every possible way. The narcissist, like any other person, gets an excellent opportunity for self-expression. At the same time, the level of his protection on the Internet increases many times: he can erase a negative comment or remove an unwanted interlocutor at any time. Low empathy finds its justification in virtual etiquette. And showing exclusively positive aspects helps to perpetuate the disease.

Despite the fact that doctors now allow the treatment of mental disorders, internal self-improvement and transformation of a person is often an overwhelming task for him. A conscious and strong desire of the narcissist himself is necessary in order to achieve significant success in this direction.