Prolonged anger, stress and harbored resentment damage our adrenal glands and immune system.
Can you remember the last time you were really angry with someone? Were you so angry that you just shook at the thought of this person? Very rarely does feeling angry help us get what we want. Often it works against us, causing unnecessary pain. Even the most gentle natures can turn into a vengeful scoundrel at some point if they are pushed to do so.
Various situations in life make us feel sad, hurt, disappointed and angry. Words of hatred come from our lips, although we would never have thought that we were capable of such a thing. We cease to be ourselves, those calm and sincere people we are used to seeing ourselves as. And no, we don't like who we turn into.
Negative emotions destroy us, we need to fight and overcome them. The same method can be used to deal with all negative emotions. To make things easier to understand, we will use anger as the target emotion that needs to be overcome. Remember that this method can also help you cope with other unfavorable strong emotions such as jealousy, guilt, hatred, regret and fear.
Why do we feel disgusting?
Anger doesn't feel good. Frankly, it's a disgusting feeling. Everything inside us shrinks, we sweat, we react (instead of act) in survival mode. Anger clouds our judgment, causing us to react wildly, relying only on emotions. This happens to all of us. Sometimes the anger is so strong that we simply become afraid of the intense hatred directed at other people. And when we cool down, we first of all wonder how we could allow ourselves to fall into such a state.
Answer: very simple. Let me explain. An emotion is our body's response to a thought that may be caused by an external situation. But we look at this situation through the prism of our ideas. And our prism is colored by mental concepts unique to each of us, such as good and evil, mine and yours, like - don't like, right - wrong. Remember that we all have different lenses, and therefore conflicts when interpreting a situation are inevitable.
For example, if someone loses their wallet, our emotions are not that strong. But if it is our own money, we suddenly begin to feel pain and the desire to regain what we lost.
If we have something that we define for ourselves as “ours,” we will experience moral discomfort if we realize that we have lost something or are at risk of losing it. It doesn't matter what it is. It could be my wallet, my pride, my money, my house, my car, my job, my child, my stocks, my feelings or my dog. As long as we feel that it is lost to us or there is a threat of loss, we will experience pain in the form of anger or other strong negative emotion.
We experience pain because we have been taught since childhood to think that those things that we have labeled as “mine” are something that defines who we are.
We identify ourselves with a thing and mistakenly believe that if we have lost something, or can lose it, then we will lose ourselves. Suddenly our ego has nothing left to identify with. Who are we? This question causes great pain to our ego.
In our hearts we feel entitled to more: more money, more respect, a better job or a bigger house. And we fail to understand that our mind will always want more. Greed is a mental state akin to drug addiction, which constantly grows, blinds us, alienates us from reality, and at the same time convinces us that we are acting wisely.
Common components of anger:
Injustice
“We believe that we were treated unfairly.” We tell ourselves that we deserve better, and we buy into the fantasy that someone has treated us unfairly.
A loss
– We feel that we have lost something with which we identified ourselves. Feelings, pride, money, car, work.
Guilt
– We blame other people or external situations, considering them the cause of our loss, we blame them for the fact that we became their victim. This guilt is often only in our minds and is a product of our imagination. We are simply unable to see what is happening from other people's point of view. We become deeply selfish.
Pain
– We experience pain, psychological stress and anxiety. Pain causes physical reactions in our body that disrupt the natural flow of energy and threaten our state of well-being.
Focus
– We focus our attention on those things that we do not want in our lives, and thereby feed them with energy, because we complain about them with inspiration and repeat our complaints to all those who are ready to listen to us. This creates a kind of vicious circle of anger. “We get more of what we focus on.” And this is true, regardless of emotion.
The interesting thing is that if there are two irritated people who are unhappy with each other, then both feel a sense of loss and injustice. Both feel pain and the need to blame the other person. Who is right? Answer: Both are right and both are wrong.
Why should we work on ourselves and overcome anger?
Negative emotions like anger push our body into survival mode, as if telling our body, “We are in danger.” To prepare us for “fight or flight,” a special physiological change occurs in our body. These physiological reactions interrupt the natural flow of energy in our body, which affects our heart, immune system, digestion and hormone production. Therefore, negative emotion is a kind of toxin for the body that interferes with harmonious functioning and balance.
Prolonged anger, stress and harbored resentment damage our adrenal glands and immune system. In women, overload of the adrenal glands can affect the reproductive organs (uterus, ovaries), causing pathologies that theoretically can lead to infertility.
Isn't your physical and mental health worth more than all the psychological pressure you voluntarily submit to?
Is it even worth reacting by responding to our own negative emotions and hurt feelings just to temporarily satisfy our pride?
Anger also clouds our judgment and we become consumed by problems and pain. Instead of moving away from them, becoming free from self-inflicted pain, we make irrational, unwise, self-defeating decisions that will make us regret them. In the case of divorces, for example, legal fees alone can eat away savings, leaving both parties unhappy and poor. In this case, no one wins!
Theoretical basis of mood changes.
Do you notice how quickly you can fall into a negative mood? Perhaps a fraction of a second. On the same basis, we can assume that the same amount of time must be required to move into a productive state. However, the problem is that from an early age we were prepared to remain in an unproductive state. No one introduced us to methods on how to change our state to a positive one. Often even our parents didn’t know this, and they still don’t know.
When negative feelings arise, we have two options:
To follow the habitual pattern that we learned as children, to react and allow the negativity to consume us.
Break the pattern that has been built into us and, in doing so, create new roads that will create alternative opportunities for us.
There are actually three ways to break a behavioral pattern:
Visual – Change your thoughts.
Verbal – Change the way you express your thoughts.
Kinesthetic – Change your physical position.
Okay, now let's move on to practice...
How to overcome anger
Some of these methods may be more effective for some, less effective for others. For me, “Look up!” ‒ the most effective method (that’s why it comes first on this list). I have also noticed good results when using several of these methods at once.
1. Look up!!!
The fastest way to change negative feelings and overcome anger is to instantly change our physical position. The easiest way to do this is to change the position of your eyes. When we are in a negative state, we are more likely to look down. If we look sharply upward (relative to our visual plane), we interrupt the negative pattern of sinking into the quicksand of negative emotions.
Any sudden change in physical position will help with this:
- Stand up and stretch, while letting out an audible sigh.
- Change your facial expression, work with your facial expressions.
- Go to a window illuminated by the sun.
- Do 10 jumping jacks in place, changing the position of your arms and legs.
- Do a funny dance as a joke on yourself.
- Massage the back of your neck with one hand and sing the Happy Birthday song at the same time.
Try this the next time you feel in a negative mood or an unpleasant thought comes into your head.
2. What do you want?
Sit down and write down exactly what you want to get out of the current situation. Your task is to describe the end result that you would like to see. Be clear, realistic and honest. Be detailed in your description. Write down even the dates you would like to see results.
If you have a clear plan and you notice that you are having negative thoughts about what you don't want, you can simply focus on that list.
Also, when we consciously do this exercise, we can realize that those random material things that we thought we needed are not necessary.
3. Eliminate from your speech: no, no.
Words like “don’t”, “no”, “can’t” make us focus on what we don’t want. Language and speech have great power and can influence our subconscious, and accordingly, our feelings. If you find yourself using a negative word, see if you can replace it with another word with a positive meaning. For example: instead of saying “I don’t want war,” say “I want peace.”
4. Find the light
Darkness goes away only when light appears (for example, light from a lamp, or the sun). In the same way, negativity can be replaced with positivity. Remember that no matter what happens to us on an external level, or how bad things seem to us in our thoughts, we can always choose to speak and see things positively.
I know it's hard to do when you're going through a storm of emotions, but I firmly believe that we can learn something new from every situation we encounter.
Look for your lesson. Find an acquisition for yourself in the situation, no matter what it is: something material or mental understanding of something new, or personal growth. Find the light so you can rid yourself of the darkness in your mind.
5. Give in
Give in to our ego's eternal need to be right, to blame, to be angry and vindictive. Surrender in the face of the moment. Give in to the urge to worry about the situation. Become mindful. Monitor your thoughts and learn to separate your thoughts from your personality. Your thoughts are not you.
The game will reach its logical conclusion regardless of whether we give in to emotions or not. Believe me, the cosmos will follow its course, and what needs to happen will happen. If we do not give in, we will simply stress ourselves out for no reason, and as a result our body will suffer.
6. Zone of influence
When we are in a bad mood, we can easily fall into a vicious cycle of negative emotions. We will not feel better if we are around people who also complain about the same problems. It won't help us feel better.
Instead, find a group of people with a positive outlook on life. If we have such people around us, they will remind us of what we already know deep down in our souls, and we can begin to realize the goodness and positive aspects of life. When we are in a bad mood, we can draw energy from them to rise above our problems and negativity.
Just as being around negative people can negatively affect you, being around happy and optimistic people can increase our awareness and help us get out of this unproductive state.
7. Gratitude exercise
Take a notepad and pen and find a quiet place. List (in as much detail as possible) everything you are grateful for in your life: things that happened in the past or present, or things that will happen in the future; these could be relationships, friendships, opportunities, or material acquisitions.
Fill out the entire page and use as many pages as you have things you are grateful for. Be sure to thank your heart and body.
It's a simple yet underrated way to help us focus on what really matters. This exercise can lift our mood. It also helps us gain clarity and remind ourselves that we have much to be grateful for.
No matter how bad things get, we always, absolutely always have something to be grateful for. For that matter, we have the gift of life, we are free to grow, to learn, to help others, to create, to experience, to love. I have also found that meditating quietly for 5-10 minutes before this exercise and visualizing everything on your list after the exercise makes the process more effective. Try it yourself!
9. Breathing techniques for relaxation
Most of us breathe shallowly, and air only enters the upper part of the lungs. Deep breathing exercises will help our brain and body receive more oxygen. Try it:
Sit upright in a chair, or stand up.
Make sure that the clothing does not press anywhere, especially in the stomach area.
Inhale through your nose. Exhale through your mouth.
Place one hand on your stomach.
As you inhale, feel your arm rise as air fills your lungs all the way to your diaphragm.
As you exhale, feel your arm return to its original position.
Mentally count your inhalations and exhalations, gradually align them so that both inhalation and exhalation last the same number of counts.
Gradually add another count as you exhale.
Continue adding counts as you exhale until your exhalation is twice as long as your inhalation.
Repeat this breathing rhythm 5-10 times.
Keep your eyes closed and silent for a few minutes after finishing this exercise.
9. Laugh!
We cannot laugh and be upset at the same time. When we make the physical movement it takes to laugh or smile, we instantly begin to feel cheerful and carefree.
Try it now: smile your most wonderful smile. I need the most sincere and wide smile! How are you feeling? Were you able to feel an immediate surge of joy? Have you forgotten about your problems for a while?
Make a list of movies that make you laugh and keep them at home. Or date a friend who has a sense of humor and can really make you laugh.
10. Forgiveness
I say this to all my vengeful little rascals. I know the idea of forgiving your “enemy” seems counterintuitive. The longer you hold a grudge, the more painful emotions you will experience, the greater the strain on your body, and the more damage you will cause to your long-term health and well-being.
Failing to forgive someone is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the enemy to die. Only this will never happen.
11. Snap the elastic band
Wear an elastic band around your wrist at all times. Every time you notice a thought that may be drawing you into a sad, negative cycle, click your rubber band. It might hurt a little. But it does teach our minds to avoid such thoughts. Pain is a great motivator.
12. Identify and get rid of your triggers
Sit down and brainstorm a list of cue words and activities that trigger this negative emotion in us. Perhaps it is the word "divorce", or someone's name, or a visit to a certain restaurant.
Commit to yourself that you will eliminate all mention of these triggers in your life. If we know something will upset us, why would we let it happen?
13. Determine for yourself what anger brings.
List all the things you acquired when you were angry. When you're done with the list, go through it and count the number of positive items that truly contribute to your well-being. Oh, and besides, “wanting to make another person suffer and experience pain” is not considered “promoting your well-being.”
This exercise helps us bring more awareness, rationality and clarity to a situation.
14. Strive for completion. Solve the problem
Don’t drag things out just to “win” or “prove you’re right.” This is not reasonable for any of the parties involved.
If we simply give in to external events and consciously choose not to pay any attention to them, this does not mean that we sit back comfortably and allow others to trample on us.
Take actions that will help you take the next step and bring the problem closer to resolution. Be proactive and thoughtful. The faster you solve the problem, the faster you can free yourself mentally.
A strange question, you might think, but the answer may also surprise you.
I have always been a “good girl”, so correct, I studied well, behaved well, had no bad habits and, in general, for a long time I was sure that everything was OK with me. Until one moment. It was a training, or rather one of the exercises on working with aggression. What are you doing? Where does my aggression come from? I have always treated people with respect, I do not have and never had enemies, and, to be honest, I didn’t even think badly of anyone. Classic proper upbringing in an intelligent family.
And then a miracle happened, after doing the exercise, my neck was completely wedged, I just couldn’t lift my head, I physically couldn’t. And this continued for several more days. The metaphysical explanation of what happened is that the flow of hidden negativity was so strong that it simply “knocked out” my head. Come on, how is this possible? – I could not agree with this interpretation of what was happening. And only then, after a long time, gaining new experience in self-awareness, I began to understand and become acquainted with the source of negative experiences, resentments, anger, hidden deep inside.
The fact is that we are always taught to be good, taught to be correct, to behave decently. They teach us from early childhood and firmly reinforce this habit with bonuses - sweets, approving words, fulfillment of our desires, parental love. And a child understands from childhood that being good is good and profitable, and being bad is bad and not profitable. And this means, unfortunately, burying all your bad emotions deeper inside and not expressing them. It's as if they don't exist. We swallow resentment and endure, first in childhood, then when we create our own families.
What is the energy of aggression - it is the most powerful, the flow of which simply demolishes everything in its path, it is a whirlwind, sometimes even a tornado. Just imagine: is it possible to lock this tornado inside yourself without causing harm to your body and your soul? You cover it with a lid, but its destructive power is now directed not outward, but inside yourself. The offense is softer, perhaps like a piercing draft. Little by little, but surely, he blows us away, and sometimes we don’t even notice him, but see only the result.
If these energies are not allowed to be expressed, they will continue to destroy us indefinitely. The psychosomatic nature of diseases is not a fiction, but a reality that can be fully understood if you know the laws of energy movement in the human body. I was able to discover and release this energy, but it took hours and practice, and I was very fortunate to have studied psychotherapy myself.
Therefore, when asked whether it is good to be “good”, I can say unequivocally that it is bad for you. But what to do in such a situation, do not throw out all your negative thoughts and emotions on others. Of course not, you won’t help yourself by doing this, and you will harm them.
How to get rid of negativity, how to get rid of anger and throw out grievances without harming others?
Here are some simple exercises:
1. First you need become aware of your negative emotions – resentment, anger, rage, aggression, irritation. Think about whether there are people in your life whose memories cause you pain or unpleasant sensations, remember the last situations when you made a scandal, shouted, got offended, or closed in on yourself. These memories will have to be collected bit by bit, since our consciousness is designed in such a way that memory, for the purpose of self-preservation, seems to erase, or rather hide, all our bad memories away in order to preserve our resource state. Therefore, we will act in steps - we remembered something - we worked it out, we remembered it again - we worked it out again. Don’t think that what happened a long time ago in childhood is not valid today. All this memory lives in us, and sometimes our childhood grievances predetermine our adult behavior much more strongly than our conscious choice.
2. Now you need release all the negativity from yourself
. Here are some ways:
— Dynamic Meditation (Osho). If you know that in your city there is an opportunity to visit Osho dynamic meditation groups, be sure to take advantage. It allows you to let go of yourself and express all your emotions. If you practice this dynamic meditation for 21 days in a row, your life will change with a 100% guarantee.
— Express your feelings on paper. A very simple and affordable way to “self-medicate”. As soon as you plunge into negative emotions and catch yourself doing it, or remember your early grievances, pour it all out on paper. Sit down, be alone, and express all your feelings. Don’t be shy in your expressions, be extremely frank. Just let yourself go, allow yourself to be rude or ungrateful, angry or ugly. Don't judge yourself for “bad” thoughts and words. We are all living people and we all accumulate claims and grievances even towards the best and closest people. And this does not mean at all that we do not love them. After this, you can “rework” it if you feel that everything is not yet expressed, or burn it.
— Sports will help release anger and irritation– , throw darts or take up karate. Introduce your offender if this helps you strengthen your impulse. Only after letting off all the steam will you realize that you were able to let go of the situation and forgive the person. Perhaps after this your relationship will change for the better.
—Use a scream, “shout out” all your emotions, for example, by locking yourself in a car, or secluded yourself somewhere else. Just don’t yell at the person, this will only inflame your conflict even more. All your actions should be environmentally friendly, i.e. do not harm other people.
3. Recognize that you are entitled to all emotions. - both good and bad. And this doesn't make you any worse. and lenient. To answer your question of how to get rid of negativity, remember how small children behave - they get offended or angry, scream, cry, but a few minutes pass and they are already happy, they have completely forgotten all the grievances. Be like them - release everything, then your joy will be complete.©
to find out the latest and most interesting updates. AntiSpam Protection!Natalya Kaptsova - practitioner of integral neuroprogramming, expert psychologist
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As you know, anger is nothing more than the body’s defensive reaction to an irritant. It is with its help that we get rid of excess emotions. True, not everyone likes this expression of feelings, and many suppress this reaction in themselves, destroying themselves from the inside.
How to be angry correctly, and how can you quickly curb your anger without harm to your health?
1. Method for lovers of self-exploration
When angry, a person loses control not only over himself, but also over the situation.
You can change the usual “mechanism” of response by turning your attention inward. That is, self-scanning .
How to do it?
- Accept the situation as it is given to you and feel your anger.
- Determine what specific sensations are present in the head, in the heart area, in the stomach. Doesn't your adrenaline increase? What happened to my breathing? What images are haunting your consciousness at this moment?
The more attention to the analysis of the state, the faster the anger goes away.
2. Calm, only calm!
Meditative method.
- At the moment of anger, close your eyes, distract yourself from the situation and imagine yourself in the most peaceful environment for you (everyone has their own). Any positive images will be helpful.
- Imagine your friend (mom, dad, acquaintance, etc.) who is sitting next to you, and mentally ask him for advice. It is clear that he will not be able to answer you, but your consciousness will do it for him.
3. Looking the enemy in the face
That is, we allow our inner feeling to flare up in full force.
What is the essence of the method?
- You should imagine yourself destroying everything around you because of your resentment—absolutely everything.
- We are not shy about the scale and consequences of destruction - more details and colors! Let the picture created by your imagination completely take over your consciousness.
- And when there is no longer even one stone left on the planet, having “let off steam”, you can remember about your offender.
- Think about the reason for your anger. Most likely, you realize that the problem was not worth such emotions, and on a planetary scale it is simply insignificant.
- Now you can “forgive and let go” of the offender.
4. Rising above our offender
Realize that you are taller than him in this situation.
- Don't stoop to the level of backlash.
- Find a drop of compassion in yourself for the person (as for any patient) and immediately leave.
Or maybe you are a new mother and you have?
5. Letting out anger with music
When you are driven “to the point of white heat”, always I want to shout back
(that's how we are made).
- But yelling at the offender is beneath your dignity.
- Play your favorite music at full volume and sing loudly.
- Sing until you get tired or the anger goes away.
6. We write letters!
If you can’t turn on music - write a letter to the offender .
- Without mincing words, express everything you think about him. In every detail! Paper, as you know, will endure anything.
- Just don’t forget to then burn the letter along with your negative emotions and scatter the ashes to the wind. Or just put it in the shredder (approx. - paper shredder).
7. Anger is healthy
Instead of throwing out anger in the face of the offender choose any sports alternative
- from a punching bag and squats to push-ups and pull-ups.
- If you are an impulsive and hot-tempered person, then in a month or two you will have a six-pack on your stomach and a toned figure.
8. Wash away your anger
- You can literally take a bath or take an invigorating shower.
- Better yet, swim in the pool or take a steam bath.
Water always relieves stress.
9. Let's get angry for good at home
Another great option for dispelling anger is cleaning the house .
- It doesn’t matter what exactly you do - everything will come in handy!
- Start with the dishes, and then see how it goes until your “disheveled” feelings give way to peace in your soul.
10. Buddha's smile
This technique borrowed from Shou-Dao (someone, but the Chinese, in their mental balance, will give a head start to any nation). The method can be useful not only in managing anger, but in general can significantly change your life for the better.
How to use it?
- First, take a deep breath and exhale - we calm down and abstract as quickly as possible from the cause of anger and other negative thoughts. It’s better if it’s from everyone at once.
- We relax the muscles of the face and mentally imagine how they become heavier and warmer, after which, suddenly losing their elasticity, they slowly “flow down” to the neck in a pleasant languor.
- We focus on the corners of the lips. We imagine how they part slightly into a slight smile.
- No muscle effort!
We perform this exercise every day - in the morning, before bed, and at moments when you urgently need the calm of the Buddha.
If you are jealous of your loved one, now is the time
What else can be done if you need emergency help getting out of a state of irritation and anger?
- Get to your warehouse of old magazines (waste paper) and tear the paper until it “releases.”
- Don’t listen silently to the offender - interrupt him and, ironically laughing it off, leave, leaving the last word for yourself. Humor is the best weapon!
- Ask yourself - what would you most like right now? Of course, with the exception of “punch the offender in the face.” And give yourself a moment of “unheard-of generosity” for your willpower. That is, rid yourself of anger by satisfying hidden needs.
- Imagine the offender in a funny way or in a comical situation. This option usually works out great. The main thing is to direct all your strength to the work of your imagination.
Many psychologists advise dealing with anger by suppressing it within yourself. One of the most popular tips is "count to ten". It even helps some. But more often than not, after counting “to ten,” a person simply breaks free, becoming even hotter inside.
remember, that anger should not be suppressed, but thrown out (suppressing emotions is harmful to health and psyche)! You just need to splash it out in such a way that it only brings benefits. For both you and those around you.
How do you get rid of anger? Share your recipes for peace of mind in the comments below!
Psychological methods of neutralizing anger
Rational psychotherapy
Rational therapy is coping with the situation using the mind. One of its variants is the ability to benefit from a situation that previously made you angry. When faced with something unpleasant and irritating, you need to take several deep breathing movements with a long exhalation, and then ask yourself:
“What new information have I just received?”
“How can I use this information in the future?”
“How can I benefit from this now?”
The first question is relatively easy. You'll have to work a little harder on the second one. The third question may initially confuse you, but over time you will learn to answer all three questions with ease - then wisdom will replace anger and your life will change for the better. This approach will help you free yourself from negative emotions and teach you to do the right thing in similar situations. You will perceive conflict as an opportunity to learn something, and anger will leave you forever.
Another effective remedy for anger is humor. If you want to get rid of fits of anger and understand your mood where others would clench their fists and spew curses, learn to find the funny sides in life's most stressful situations. Be observant and ironic. Say to yourself, “Isn’t this funny?” How funny people can be when they take this farce called “social life” too seriously.
Let's now look at a few recommendations from such a specialist in overcoming anger as Rustema. He believes that you can call on not only reason, but calmness and “Christian humility” to help if you say to yourself: “It is not a fact that my point of view is better than any other point of view. My justice, my truth is justice and truth for me, and not for others. No one is obliged to follow my order, my justice, my truth. After all, I am not obliged to follow the rules and guidelines of other people - everyone has the right to their own view of the world - and should not impose it on others.”
Remember that the world is changing - what makes you angry today may only make you smile tomorrow. There is no eternal in this Universe. Every second, every moment, the world changes, and we change with it. Only our inertia and fossilization prevent us from perceiving these changes. Tell yourself: “I am a flexible, fluid, changeable creature. For me there is neither familiar nor ordinary; everything is new, bright, fresh. There is no reason to be angry in this new, bright, fresh, happy world!”
Constantly repeat to yourself that you do not want to judge people, circumstances, processes, or points of view. And - most importantly - you don't need it! What's the use of this judging for you? What's the benefit? It's stupid, it's reckless, it's a waste of your precious time and your priceless life energy. This is contrary to your true nature, which is Love. For the Bible says: “Judge not, lest ye be judged.”
Remember that people don't know what they are doing (including you). If they knew, then it would be impossible to be angry with them, for they would not be mistaken. But since they do not know, it is a sin to be angry with them - after all, everything that happened did not happen according to their will (and not against their will), but happened to them. It happened as it happens with mechanisms (as changes occur in nature, as an icicle falls, and as the wind breaks a tree).
Visualization
Don't accumulate anger. Don't collect grievances. Resolutely release the remnants of anger before they exceed the “critical mass of the explosion.” To do this, use the “visualization” method, which can be used in different ways.
For example, you can mentally change the proportions or characteristics of the person who is causing your anger. In NLP this technique is called “changing submodalities.” The most common version of this technique is to mentally transform your opponent into a baby. You can do this all at once or through a series of intermediate stages, imagining what he looks like at 20 years old, then at 10, then at 5, at one year and finally at the age of six months. Stretch your imagination a little and clearly, in every detail, imagine how your opponent is crawling on the floor, senselessly humming, drooling and wetting his sliders. Believe that very soon the anger will give way to a smile. In addition to visual parameters, you can also change the sound range - imagining how your opponent’s voice changes its characteristics - for example, it sounds very thin and fast, or vice versa - low, dull and slow, as if coming from underground. It all depends on your imagination and sense of humor.
The second way of visualization is not about your opponent, but about yourself. As soon as you feel the first signs of anger in the heat of an argument, visualize them in the form of black smoke or gas filling your lungs. Imagine anger as a thundercloud that grows inside you. Think about the fact that the discharges of this thunderstorm can damage your body and you urgently need to get rid of this dark substance.
Take a deep breath for 3 counts, imagining as clearly as possible how fresh air mixes with black clouds of anger, then take a long, energetic exhale, expelling negative energy from yourself (about 4-5 counts). After this, pause for three counts, during which you mentally say to yourself: “I am cleansing myself of anger!” Repeat this exercise again several times, visualizing how with each breathing cycle the black cloud inside you decreases and the air in your lungs becomes lighter and lighter.
Breathing exercises
If you are losing your temper or anger is just beginning to fill your soul, take a few deep breaths. Stand fairly stable. Take a slow, deep breath in three counts. The inhalation should begin from the stomach, where the first portion of air enters, and the stomach protrudes slightly forward. Then the chest expands and rises. Thus, a wave-like movement from bottom to top is obtained.
Exhale slowly for five counts. Exhale in the reverse order - first the stomach is drawn in, and then the chest is lowered. Exhale pause - 2-4 counts, depending on your capabilities.
Thus, the breathing pattern when performing this exercise will look like this: Inhale (3 sec) - Exhale (5 sec) - Pause (3 sec). We repeat this 5-6 times.
The results of this exercise: additional saturation of the blood with oxygen, return of the heart rate to normal, relaxation of muscles that were previously in a tense state; reduction of emotional stress, distraction from the source of anger, restoration of the ability to rational thinking.
Role-playing games
In order not to become needlessly angry with another person and not to fan the flames of conflict in which good relationships can burn out, try to put yourself in the shoes of the other person - with whom you are in conflict. Be it. Try to understand why he behaves this way. Treat this procedure like a game. After all, it is so interesting and tempting to transform into another, understand his thoughts, feel what he feels.
Place two chairs and attach your name and the name of the other person to the backs. When moving from one chair to another, alternately turn to each other and express your complaints in a calm, friendly manner. Try to understand the needs and motives of the other party's behavior and come to a compromise.
If your anger towards another person is too great and you find it difficult to remain calm and be kind to him, reincarnate into a person or being who could remain calm in a similar situation - a holy hermit, a Buddha, an elephant, a mountain or a cloud. Try to conduct a conversation on their behalf and evaluate how your state and your emotions change.