How to resolve a conflict situation. Strategic rationale for conflict

Professional conflicts are a necessary evil. We have to defend our point of view, point out to others their mistakes, and achieve our goal in conditions of lack of time or resources. Sometimes this is difficult and even painful, especially if not all parties to the conflict are willing to maintain a work ethic.

In a work environment, confrontation is part of the production process, and most often local skirmishes take place quickly and quite correctly: both parties understand their role and are results-oriented. As a result, labor conflicts already contain the grain of a compromise that just needs to be found. But sometimes we have to deal with those who “play dirty”, using methods of everyday scandal in a work situation: getting personal, veiled or direct insults and substitution of concepts. Does everything to turn a constructive conversation into a domestic quarrel. What are the reasons for this kind of conflict?

What does the aggressor stand for?

“A person who voluntarily enters into conflict communication, as a rule, has already experienced a feeling of humiliation,” says psychologist Anatoly Dobin. Unfortunately, almost everyone has experienced this feeling, but for some people the experience of humiliation is devastating. For example, if it was received in childhood, from people significant to the child.

“Such people,” continues Anatoly Dobin, “are characterized by suspicion and a desire to constantly control their environment. Their goal is to prevent the humiliation of their personality from happening again.” Unfortunately, this manifests itself as touchiness and a tendency to see an attack where there is none. When such a person is approached with work offers, he may take them as an attempt to belittle him as a person and professional.

There is a conflict, not of interests, but of ideas about the situation. While one of the participants in the industrial conflict believes that we are talking about work issues that need to be discussed and moved on, the other believes that his honor and dignity are in danger, and therefore it is necessary to immediately defend them. By humiliating someone else's dignity.

The goal of the aggressor is to offend, to find a sensitive chord of the interlocutor

Gender stereotypes are used (“women don’t understand anything”), insults based on age (“I’m too young to point out”), hints of incompetence (“recruited from an advertisement”) or someone’s patronage (“daddy put it in”). It can be direct and rude or veiled, but it is no less offensive. There are no forbidden topics for the aggressor, and sooner or later he achieves his goal: having touched a sensitive chord, he finally drags his interlocutor from a work situation into a domestic conflict.

It’s worth responding to an insult with an insult at least once, or even just showing that the words hurt you, and the aggressor can celebrate victory: the work topic is forgotten, the result is not achieved, but the nerves are frayed and human dignity is humiliated.

There is only one way to get out of such a situation with honor: do not enter it. However, this is not about avoiding confrontation. The way to resolve a professional conflict is to consistently strive to keep the situation within the framework of working negotiations. Let the other person try to offend you or hurt you, you must achieve a result, and that’s all that matters. First of all, for this you need to control yourself.

How to Avoid Conflict

“If you've lost control, you've lost everything,” says psychologist Robert Bakel of the University of Toronto. - Manipulative behavior is aimed at causing an emotional reaction in you, forcing you to behave aggressively or, on the contrary, to defend yourself. If we lose control, we do exactly what the manipulators want us to do. And we lose because we are entering a game that is impossible to win. Self-control is mandatory, and this is precisely behavior control. You may become angry or upset if that is your choice, but you need to watch your behavior.”

Dr. Bakel offers several simple rules, following which a polite, well-mannered, socialized person can emerge victorious from a labor conflict with an aggressive manipulator.

Don't rush to answer. Before you get into a conflict at work, think about how you can deal with the situation while experiencing and causing minimal unpleasant emotions. Only then act.

Yes, this means that you should take care not only of your feelings, but also of the feelings of your interlocutor. Remember that he is human, even if he behaves inappropriately. That it might hurt him too. Moreover, he is in pain right now, and even if it is not your fault, it is in your power not to aggravate his suffering.

Pay attention to the speed and volume of your speech. An excited person tends to speak faster and louder, causing the other person to also raise their voice. The faster the speech, the less thought there is in it and the higher the likelihood that something irreparable will be said. Do not hurry. Weigh your words.

If possible, take a time out. This doesn't mean you need to avoid conflict, but rather put it aside. If you see that your opponent is seething with negative emotions, invite him to reschedule the conversation. “I’m not ready to talk to you about this now. Let's make an appointment for tomorrow." This gives you time to prepare and gives your opponent time to cool down. In addition, since the conflict occurs in a team and in front of colleagues, it is possible that one of them uses their influence to calm the aggressor.

Don't take risks. Sometimes we think that with one well-aimed blow - perhaps a good joke or a particularly damning argument - we can put an end to a confrontation. But what works so well in sitcoms rarely works in real life. Be correct and don't try to finish everything in one fell swoop.

Focus on results. We get what we focus on. If someone behaves aggressively and provokes you into conflict, you can concentrate on the insults, and then there will only be more of them. Or you can move the conversation into a constructive direction, leaving provocations and insults behind the scenes. And this brings us to the main recommendation.

Words that will help in confrontation

"Yes". Even arguments against must begin with the word “yes” - it is human nature to calm down when people agree with him.
"We". Not “us against you,” but “we are with you.” Try to include yourself and the other participant in the conflict in one social group: people more easily side with representatives of “their tribe.”
“I understand that you are upset” - in response to all attempts to insult you. This way you simultaneously reject the insult and grant forgiveness for it.
“It’s really not easy” and other phrases that will show: you realize that your opponent’s life is not easy, but the situation requires additional effort.
“I heard you” is almost a forbidden technique. Use only if negative argumentation has gone in a circle, and this is the third circle.
“Let’s both take a time out and meet in an hour (at three, tomorrow at ten)” - if you understand that the interlocutor, under the onslaught of emotions, has lost touch with reality.

Don't take the bait.“Bait” are words that have no other purpose than to make you lose your composure, control of yourself and the flow of the conversation. When you lose your temper, you hand over the reins of power to a person who is not inclined to look after your interests. All curses, all insults, all sexist, racist remarks are “baits” designed to distract us from the essence of the work conflict. The answer to them is simple: “I understand that you are upset, but the work must be done.”

Don't give in. Don't return blow to blow. Don't pretend that you even noticed the blow. All you need to do is stick to your line.

Yes. This is hard. The person who is now trying to hurt you may be cruel. But only you can decide whether his attempts will be successful. Only you can decide whether it will really hurt you. By the way, the pain will subside as soon as you achieve your goal: for example, promises to complete the work by Wednesday, provide technical support or provide financing. The result is an amazing healer for a wounded soul, and only it, by and large, matters. Of course, if we are talking about work, and not about love.

Conflicts are always a problem. And no matter in what area they arise, be it business or personal life, we are faced with the same questions: how to resolve the conflict or how to avoid it in the future. Of course, it will not be possible to avoid conflicts; even in the strongest relationships, in the most trusted business, from time to time disagreements arise that can develop into a serious conflict. In this article we will not talk about how to build ideal relationships that will develop without disputes and conflicts, but we will focus our attention on something else - how to properly get out of conflict situations. After all, you don’t want serious scandals and problems? Right?

What is the best option for resolving conflict situations? What immediately comes to mind? I am sure that you have thought of many possible options, but among all of them, only a compromise will be optimal. Both sides must make concessions, change their vision of the situation, find a common solution to the problem, one that would suit both.

So, how to come to this compromise, because in words everything is easy, but in reality it turns out to be not so simple. Let's look at 10 basic rules with which you can resolve any conflict situation.

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1. Keep your emotions in check.
The first rule is that you must learn to think with a “sober” head, and not involve ego and emotions in your decision. It very often happens that, out of emotion, a person will say something, do certain things, and then, when he cools down a little, he begins to regret everything he said. And this happens all the time. Emotions cloud your judgment, inflate your ego, and make you think that you are taller and smarter than your interlocutor. This is not right, this is a road to nowhere. Many Eastern cultures and religions place great emphasis on the ability to control your thoughts and emotions. Why do you think Tibetan monks are so calm, conflict-free and reasonable? Yes, because they think first and do not involve emotion. Learn!

2. Don't beat yourself up
There is a wonderful Zen saying: “I think less, I laugh more.” What do you think it's about? How often have you encountered the fact that a person himself came up with a problem, screwed himself up, got offended, and even inflated the conflict from this? It happened, didn't it? Did you do that? I'm sure so. So, you don’t need to think too much, you don’t need to hype yourself up about something that hasn’t happened yet. You yourself build a chain of non-existent events in your head, develop them yourself, and begin to believe in it so much that then many problems arise.

For example, your business partner is late for a meeting, the phone is turned off, there is no connection on the Internet, you wait and begin to imagine why this happened. And as soon as he enters the office, you begin to attack, accuse, make some kind of claims based only on your invention. Don’t rush your horses, don’t get nervous ahead of time, because you don’t know the true reasons for being late. Such cases are all too common, and until you learn to live in the moment now, learn to perceive everything as it is, conflicts cannot be avoided.

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3. Choose the right time

Often conflicts arise when one of the interlocutors is not ready to talk. If you see that your colleague is not in a good mood, that he is not having a good day today, then do not interfere with your questions, recommendations or advice. It’s better to wait until tomorrow, let everything work out for him, and then start the conversation.

It is also better to conduct all negotiations in the afternoon, approximately 1-1.5 hours after lunch. Why? By this time, the person will have already “started up”, will have entered into the work process, will have time to have lunch and relax. A well-fed and positive-minded interlocutor means a minimal risk of a conflict situation.

4. Look for the cause, not the effect.
We are all accustomed to dealing with the consequences of conflict, but we do not want to analyze what caused such a person’s behavior. Always take a broader view, go beyond the conflict, try to analyze the situation and understand how to avoid similar problems in the future.

5. Live in the moment now
Another mistake that leads to serious conflicts is past memories. Why do you reproach a person for what has already passed, why do you remember his past “sins”? This will in no way help resolve the conflict, but on the contrary, will add fuel to the fire. Try to live in the moment now. Just think, nothing exists except now. The past has already happened, and it cannot be changed, therefore, there is no need to be very upset about it, and we don’t know the future, therefore, put aside worries about it too. There is only here and now - remember.

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6. Don't accumulate problems.
There is a great saying: “Problems must be solved as they arise.” And this is the true truth. There is no need to accumulate grievances, experiences, or any controversial issues. Try to discuss everything at once, decide, come to a common denominator. Problems can be compared to a snowball, which only gets bigger and bigger every day, and if you don’t reduce it, then at one point this lump will fall on your head with enormous force, bringing with it a whole set of conflicts and unpleasant situations.

7. Don't hold grudges
This rule is closely related to the previous one. There is no need to harbor grievances, hatch an insidious plan for revenge, or secretly invent and impose something on yourself. If you want to live without conflicts, then you should learn to calmly, without unnecessary emotions, discuss all controversial issues. The faster you resolve your internal conflict, the faster you discuss it, the better, because this will help you free yourself from unnecessary thoughts, and most importantly, from unnecessary speculation.

8. Don't insult
Do not stoop to the lowest level - insult. Scientists have proven that if during a quarrel a person gets personal and begins to insult his interlocutor, then this is an indicator of his weakness, his wrongness, his inability to prove his point of view. As a rule, the person who begins to insult is the one who understands that he is wrong, but his inflated ego does not want to give in, and cannot find any other way than to say nasty things. Remember that an insult will not improve the situation, but will only become the basis for a new quarrel, an even greater conflict.

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9. Watch your tone.
Sometimes it’s not so much the words, but the tone with which they are spoken that can greatly offend your interlocutor. Therefore, always watch how you pronounce this or that phrase. Don't be sarcastic, don't tease, don't make fun of any qualities, because most people may not like this behavior. Always try to put yourself in the place of another, to project your actions onto yourself. Behave the way you want to be treated.

10. Don't throw tantrums.
It has been said more than once that hysteria is a powerful way to manipulate another person. Yes, it can calm the conflict for a while, but the problem will remain, the situation will never be resolved. So what's the point of being hysterical, behaving provocatively, raising your tone if, as a result, everything remains as it was?
But what if you are not the initiator of the conflict? What to do in such a situation?

Your mouth is locked Do you remember when you were in school when you were advised to shut your mouth and throw it away? Try something similar. To make sure you don’t say anything unnecessary, fill your mouth with water and wait until your husband says everything he was going to say. If you suddenly swallow water, take more. A person cannot talk to himself for a long time. Soon he will get tired of it and he will shut up. And discuss the situation itself later, when he leaves.

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Act outside the box If you are being yelled at, try hugging or kissing your husband. It is unlikely that after this he will want to continue the quarrel. You can also try to move the conversation to another topic. Ask for a glass of water or to close the window.

You should not cling to words. A phrase taken out of context loses its original meaning. You should not cling to individual words, because then you are guaranteed a huge scandal.

Don't think that you are the root cause of everything. You are not always the cause of a quarrel. Perhaps the cause of irritation is failure at work, a quarrel with friends, or the rudeness of others. After all, not everything revolves around you.

Remember, with the right approach, any aggression can be minimized. The main thing is to know how to do it.

Conflict at work is commonplace. According to studies, disputes take up about 15% of working time. The most common reason is complete incompatibility between employees due to a discrepancy in their views on life or a certain situation. What is absurd for one is acceptable for another.

But sometimes conflict at work can be beneficial. They help to come to a common decision. In such a stressful situation, employees can see each other's true colors. But the main positive result is to find a solution to the problem and end the quarrel.

Causes of conflicts

The work team is selected spontaneously. First of all, the professional skills of the employee are important. Personal qualities come second. This is why employees cannot always find a common language and maintain normal relationships.

The main reasons for disputes at work:

differences in culture, status, level of power;
illiterate and unclear tasks;
violations of management principles by managers;
poor attitude of superiors towards subordinates;
psychological incompatibility of employees;
lack of an objective system for assessing the success of work;
differences in professional goals;
different salary levels;
the importance of each employee to varying degrees;
distortion of information (rumours, gossip), etc.

In many ways, the microclimate in a work group depends on the leader. His task is to create a cohesive team built on trust and respect.

Otherwise, there will be tension and misunderstanding in any work situation.

Types of conflicts

The parties to conflicts at work can be different. The most common tandem is a quarrel between 2 employees. And also, conflict at work often arises between one employee and the team or with management. The main thing is to stop in time.

Between 2 workers

The main reason is the difference in views on work activity. One believes that it is enough to do one’s job well; for another, self-development and improvement of skills are also important. It happens that one employee underworks, while another overfulfills the plan. The first considers his colleague to be lazy and a bad employee, the second calls the enemy a despot obsessed with work.

Conflict between two employees

Another popular cause of conflict is the cleanliness of the workplace. For some, it is important that everything around them is tidy and neatly folded. For others, the norm is chaos and slight disorder. In this case, it is better to create separate workplaces for workers and seat them away from each other.

Between employee and team

Occurs when a new employee joins an established team. He finds it difficult to make contact. Any violation of norms of behavior is a cause for conflict.

Another typical situation is a newly arrived boss. People often react negatively to changes, so at first they may not perceive the new leader.

Between employee and superiors

Competent bosses are sensible people. They will not create conflict situations over trifles. Most often, a quarrel arises due to professional incompetence. The employee failed to meet the sales plan, made a serious mistake in the report, submitted all the work after the deadline - the reasons are very different.

In this case, the positive aspects of the conflict:

desire to make the employee a professional;
employee training;
eliminating a systematic problem;
clarifying relations with the boss with a positive outcome, etc.

But there is another popular reason for conflict with managers - personal hostility. If the boss is tolerant, he will not attach any importance to this. Otherwise, he will not hide his irritation from being next to such an employee. His comments will concern appearance, gait, demeanor, pronunciation and other things.

Conflict with boss at work

The solution to conflict situations in this case is dismissal. The boss may not do this himself, but will in every possible way push the employee to take this step. If an employee loves his job and wants to stay, he needs to know how to behave during conflicts.

Basic Rules:

respond to reproaches with dignity and politeness;
keep your distance (don’t lose your temper, restrain your emotions);
ask for a specific reason for the conflict;
offer to resolve the conflict;
listen carefully to the leader.

If the boss’s work is controlled by a person with a higher position, you can contact him. Personal hostility is an indicator of poor competence, because a manager must be tolerant of every employee. The only caveat is that the employee must have counterarguments and evidence of the boss’s guilt.

Between groups in a team

In this case, conflicts arise in a team with an unhealthy microclimate. Personal antipathies have a very clear and negative impact on relationships between employees. They begin to divide into small warring groups. Most often, they are united by the same views on professional activities.

Subsequently, the race begins for the title of “best group” in the form of increased productivity, successfully completed projects, etc. For management, this is a positive aspect, because there is an opportunity to increase profits. But such competition will negatively affect other, less successful groups.

Group conflict

Another situation is the presence of an informal leader. He gathers around himself active, enterprising people who are ready to work for the idea.

But there will always be those who are categorically opposed to such an outcome. For them, leaving their comfort zone and working in a stressful situation is an unacceptable option. Therefore, hostility arises between activists and passive workers.

Types of behavior in conflict situations

Some people keep social distance. They practically do not make contact, and accordingly, in conflict situations they can take a neutral position. Such employees do not understand why they should waste time and energy on others, so they direct it into work. Any conflicts are considered meaningless.

Another behavioral strategy is aggressors. Most often, they are the ones who provoke conflicts, fiercely defending their interests. They completely refuse to take into account the reasoning of others. By temperament type, aggressors are choleric. For them, conflicts, quarrels, scandals are energy recharge.

Characteristics of aggressors:

do not get pleasure from work;
the main goal is to receive a salary and increase personal income;
productivity is low, because they are often distracted by extraneous matters.

Another participant in conflicts at work are intriguers. They compare their salaries with those of others. If their income is lower, envy appears. The victim is ridiculed and reproached. Any manifestation of humiliation on their part brings great pleasure. Promotion, transfer to a better office, a separate office and other successes cause irritation and hatred among colleagues.

Professional conflict due to jealousy

The oppositionist is the boss's favorite. Few people notice him, but he watches everyone. He knows all the details of his personal life and work issues, which he reports to management. Such a person is not liked in the team and they are trying to “survive”. He does not build friendly relations with anyone. Does not enter into conflict situations, otherwise remains silent and neutral.

Consequences of conflicts

Most often, conflict has negative consequences. But there are situations when it has a positive effect on all parties to the dispute. First, it allows you to identify a diversity of views, learn the peculiarities of thinking and opinions of colleagues. It provides useful additional information regarding the cause of the conflict.

Consequences of conflicts that were promptly resolved and eliminated:

Employees feel involved in the team and in the discussion of important work topics. They feel important. In the process of solving a problem, hostility and injustice are eliminated.
Employees become more cooperative. They develop their own position and strategy of behavior. They understand how not to behave so as not to become the initiator of another quarrel.
Reduces the likelihood of groupthink. Employees learn to express their opinions tolerantly and competently. In the process of discussing a conflict situation, they learn to respect each other.
But if the conflict is not resolved immediately, the outcome will not be very happy. A person will form a certain opinion about the other participant in the dispute, as an enemy and adversary. He will perceive his decisions as correct and logical, and the actions of the other side as absurd and stupid. Subsequently, such an employee will become self-centered and will react negatively to other people's suggestions and ideas. It is especially dangerous if this person is a boss.

Ways to resolve conflicts

The first correct decision is to find out the original source of the deterioration in relations with colleagues. This is done during the discussion process. Gather all participants in a dispute or conspiracy together. The disputing parties explain their positions. They analyze what exactly does not suit them in the current work situation.

Resolution of a quarrel occurs only if every dissatisfied employee takes an active part. Next, possible options for resolving the conflict are proposed and the one that suits everyone is selected.

Chief's position

It is necessary to have only reliable information. Rumors and gossip are something you can never rely on. The second rule is not to reward for denunciations! This significantly lowers the image and worsens the reputation of the boss in the eyes of his subordinates.

If some adversities have been noticed in the conflict, it is better to observe the employees. This will allow you to determine the initiator of the quarrel and the cause of the next dispute.

Don't start public fights. If there are problems with only 1 or several employees, it is better to have an individual conversation.
Do not take sides in a conflict. Have your own position and explain it competently to the team.
Don't put yourself above others. Despite a high position, you need to know your place and not cross boundaries. It is better to follow the collective rules (if there is no smoking in the room, then the manager should not do this either).

Initially, you need to realize that a conflict is brewing. In this case, you need to be able to control your emotions and think about the consequences. If the situation allows, it is better to leave the office or get away from the aggressor.
Another effective method is touch switch manipulation. The point is to distract colleagues from the conflict so that it does not achieve its goal.
If the conflict is provoked by 2 people, you need to analyze the strengths of the enemy. You can ask to evaluate the work from the point of view of a professional or find out his opinion about some work moment (if this was not the cause of the quarrel). Remember, a compliment is the best weapon.

Conflict resolution is mandatory

Other ways to resolve conflict with employees:

Sniper technique. Pretend that you didn’t hear the provoking phrase.
You can ask again indifferently. In most cases, the initiator of the conflict is lost, and the dispute does not develop further.
Intimate talk. Ask your opponent directly what exactly irritates him. This is how the argument turns into a constructive conversation. Most often, the conflict exhausts itself, and people learn to analyze their own mistakes and behavior.
Ignoring. If hostility is not substantiated in any way, then it is better to simply ignore it and react neutrally to the aggressor. He will see that he is not of interest to the enemy and will calm down.
Admitting a mistake. If the cause of the conflict is poor quality work, the employee should apologize and redo the work.

Remember, in any conflict situation you need to remain calm.

Confident intonation, moderate rate of speech, low timbre of voice, straight back are the main tools.

Conclusion

Conflict situations at work can arise at any time and for various reasons. The main thing is to prevent their development in time or completely eliminate them.

Do not forget to remain human in any situation. People are different, and this is worth taking into account. Learn to remain calm in any situation, and conflicts will not take up precious working time. Focus your energy on increasing your productivity.

A third of an adult's life is spent sleeping. The rest of his conscious time (400 hours per month) is devoted to work and leisure. Moreover, 160 of them, 2/5 of the total time, are given to work for the benefit of society. If a person has conflicts at work, then he is in a stressful state almost half of the time.

There are situations when an increase in adrenaline in the blood contributes to the achievement of high results, records, and the birth of masterpieces. Athletes, artists, musicians and performers can work successfully in such an internal limiting state.

However, an extraordinary situation that forces the average member of society to experience strong negative emotions can leave them unable to work for a long time. What kind of effectiveness can we talk about if your eyes are filled with tears of resentment, your hands are shaking, and you want to run?!

A conflict situation negatively affects the results of common work also because it ceases to be collective. Sometimes the struggle of interests not only completely excludes mutual assistance, but even gives rise to sabotage.

A conflict between engineering workers from different departments can only ruin their mood, but discord in the team will certainly affect the quality and efficiency of the work of the entire team.

Causes and types of conflicts at work

With colleagues

Disputes and quarrels

Conflict is disagreement between people. There is no agreement in either a dispute or a quarrel. What is the difference then:

Arguing colleagues They do not set themselves the goal of offending or humiliating their opponent. The task of the parties, on the contrary, is to make the enemy their ally, convincing him that he is wrong. It is in such disputes that truth is born. Such conflicts are called constructive.
Quarreling people also have a theme of disagreement. But they do not present demonstrative arguments, but by influencing the feelings of the enemy, they try to scare him, eliminate him, and force him to remain silent. By appealing not to the mind, but to the feelings, it is impossible to get to the bottom of the truth. These conflicts, in which winning at any cost is more important than finding a solution to the problem, are generally considered destructive.

Both types of behavior are possible between colleagues, but have different consequences.

If disputes lead to the achievement of positive results, provide experience in cooperation and improve relationships in the team, then quarrels, on the contrary, create intolerant relationships, worsen mood, lead away from the common goal and reduce work efficiency.

Interpersonal conflict

Most often in a team it appears on the basis of dissatisfaction with the inequality of distribution of benefits, resources, burden or sanctions. This happens often where several people do the same job.

Discontent and calculations begin not only in places where there is a shortage of resources or goods, and not only in places where the loads are very high and the sanctions are terrible. Conflicts due to unfair distribution occur even in the most prosperous organizations.

Personality and group

If there is a conflict in a team with a colleague who violates the norms of behavior, communication, and appearance accepted here, then this is natural and justified. But not only that.

Sometimes the reason for a “boycott” may be the existence of an informal leader whose personal interests push him into conflict. A support group forms around him. It is difficult to get out of this situation. You will have to either recruit the same group of associates or overcome your pride and have a heart-to-heart talk with the leader.

With the leader

Internal conflict

There are often managers who devote themselves completely to their work. The need to be a husband, wife, father, mother, to live a full family life and the inability to achieve this tear apart the human psyche. The director lashes out at his subordinates and sees them as to blame for the current situation.

Convince the boss?!

Is there any point in conflicting with your manager? Yes, if there is real support from outside and above, if a quarrel precedes dismissal.

And if the boss listens carefully to the complaints, is inspired and, despite the risk of losing respect from the rest of the team, admits that he is wrong. This perspective on conflict resolution is found only in movies. In reality, “the boss is always right, and if he’s wrong, read point one.”

To prevent conflict situations and remove the soil for their growth, the manager needs to fairly distribute material benefits. Having accurate information, it is correct to distribute “carrots and slaps in the face.”
Gossip and denunciations should not be encouraged.
Don't be afraid to get fired.
You can't have a public showdown.
To resolve a conflict, you should not take sides, at least apparently.
A real leader should be happy when his subordinates not only come together to sing and sing, but also demand from him all together not to fire their grandfather-guard-veteran.

If such a team can be raised, the manager will have someone to rely on in difficult times.

When applying for a job, find out, as much as possible about your professional responsibilities, salary, bonuses, rules of conduct in a team, work hours, dress code, etc. This information will save you from disappointments, grievances, and first conflicts and will tell you what to do if they arise.
Remember, the team does not require keep pace with everyone, but it won’t allow you to stray too far from the pack. You cannot be allowed to smoke in a room where everyone else is a non-smoker. Don't irritate the team with your extravagance. Believe me, everyone here is like that, but they know how to keep things in moderation.
Don't quarrel, but argue. It's great when a difference of opinion leads not to a fight, but to a compromise. Never discuss your opponent's appearance or character when it comes to an accounting report.

How to behave to avoid work disputes

Everything listed in the previous section should be repeated here. But you can add different situations.

Gossip

Very often conflicts arise due to gossip and rumors. The more closed you are, the less information the team has about you, the more your colleagues will speculate and speculate about your personal life. This is how a person works - everything unknown excites and intrigues him.

It's easy to deal with this. Tell us everything about yourself. It is not interesting to write on already printed text. You will no longer be a “blank slate” that can be filled with any scribble. Gossip will die out on its own.

Envy

Nothing can overcome this feeling. There are people who can be jealous of anything. even your 6 fingers. Try to have a heart-to-heart talk and tell them how inconvenient it is when you have 6 fingers on your hand. Or simply ignore the negative message, thinking: if they are jealous, then there is something to be desired.

You must behave honestly, with dignity and never shy away from official disputes. Avoid quarrels! Remember that anyone who insults you in a quarrel can be discouraged (even defeated) by your calm smile “And I love you.”

Video: Conflict at work

Conflicts... This word is constantly heard in modern society. Personal and work disagreements lead to various negative situations when people are forced to look for ways to resolve them with the least moral losses. That is why conflict prevention is the key to healthy relationships, when there is no need to search for ways to reconcile.

What is conflict

In modern psychology there are many different definitions of this concept. But they all assume that conflict is the most acute phase of resolving various contradictions. They arise in the process of interaction and consist in the opposition of the participants in the situation, accompanying it with negative emotions. Most scientists focus specifically on the contradictory goals and interests of the subjects of the disagreement that has arisen.

There is a definition of contradiction as a speech act, which distinguishes three stages of the struggle of interests, the result of which is a conflict:

differences of opinion;
contradiction in dialogues;
direct struggle, expressed in conflicts of action.

Thus, conflict prevention means the absence of any speech acts intended to cause harm of any kind to the other party.

The essence of the conflict

In order for conflict prevention to be sufficiently effective, it is necessary to understand what the essence of the contradiction is, which has four characteristics;

structure;
dynamics;
function;
control.

The structure of the conflict consists of:

object (subject of dispute);
entities (individuals, groups or organizations);
flow conditions;
scale;
strategies and tactics of behavior of the subjects of the situation;
outcome.

The psychology of conflict involves a dynamic process that consists of the following stages:

objective situation when objective reasons for conflict arise;
conflict interaction, where the incident itself occurs;
conflict resolution, which can be complete or partial.

Conflict performs various functions, and some of them are quite important for effective interaction between the parties:

dialectical, which involves identifying the causes of conflict interactions;
constructive, which involves directing the tension caused by the situation that has arisen to achieve the goal;
destructive when different personal and emotional colors of relationships appear.

Conflict regulation essentially comes down to the ability to manage it. Management, in turn, is divided into external and internal. In the first case, control over the situation is entrusted to the leader, in the second, personal control of one’s behavior is necessary.

Main stages of conflict situations

The reasons for disagreements can be very different, but common to all of them are the stages of the emergence and resolution of a dispute. So, the stages of the conflict are as follows:

the moment of emergence of a conflict situation, which can be provoked by one or several people;
awareness of the current situation, expressed in changes in mood and various critical statements addressed to the opponent;
open confrontation, when the parties take active action with the aim of causing offense or other moral damage to the enemy;
the opponent’s awareness of the conflict situation and the beginning of response actions;
development of conflict when certain demands are put forward;
the finalization of disagreements through requests, conversations or administrative methods, consisting of a court decision, dismissal, etc.

As you may have noticed, these stages of conflict move from one to another, regardless of the type of disagreement that arises.

Outcome options

There are different options for resolving conflict situations:

leaving it when one of the parties does not notice or pretends not to notice the disagreements that have arisen;
smoothing out contradictions when one of the subjects of the conflict either agrees with the claims made by the other party or justifies himself;
compromise, when both parties make mutual concessions in order to resolve disagreements;
an increase in tension when the onset of a conflict is particularly abrupt and turns into a serious confrontation that is not limited in time;
suppression of a conflict by force, when one of the parties or both subjects is forced to accept a certain point of view.

Types of conflicts

The psychology of conflict involves its division into types depending on the basis. Thus, the following factors can serve as the basis for identifying it as a separate type:

sources of occurrence;
social consequences;
scale;
forms of struggle;
subjects' tactics.

Conflicts are also divided into two types in relation to an individual subject:

internal;
external.

Internal conflict involves the contradiction of the desires of one person, and external conflict involves disagreements between him and the environment. The nature of the external conflict, in turn, can be interpersonal, intergroup, or such that it arises between an individual and a group.

Interpersonal conflict is the most common and consists of a clash of interests of different individuals. Intergroup conflict, as a rule, arises in a work atmosphere when the interests of small groups turn out to be opposing. As for the conflict between an individual and a group, this kind of disagreement is also typical in the business sphere, when the interests of the organization contradict the interests of the individual.

In addition to such disagreements, there are many others: family, teenage, personal or generational conflict. In each of these situations, problems arise with the closest people, which means everything must be done to prevent this.

Family conflicts

Unfortunately, despite all efforts, conflicts in the family are an inevitable phenomenon. And the point here is not that people don’t like each other, it’s just that not everyone knows how to resolve differences peacefully.

Conflicts in the family can be between spouses, between children, between parents and children, between spouses and their parents - there are many options. However, the question arises: why do some couples live happily ever after, while others become enemies and separate forever? It's all about people's attitude to the current situation. The subject of the conflict can inflate the scandal, increasing its scale, but it is within his power to end it without great moral losses.

The slightest reason is enough for a conflict situation to arise. Sometimes it becomes like a game of table tennis, when partners throw mutual accusations at each other like a ball in a game. This can go on for quite a long time, it all depends on the desire and ability of the parties to make trouble.

In fact, there are many ways to maintain peace in the family. For example, if frequent disagreements began to appear not so long ago, you can try to express your complaint and ask your spouse to voice it in his own words. Psychologists say that most problems in couples arise due to misinterpretation of the words of their spouse. After trying this method, you will quickly become convinced that the essence of the conflict has no basis.

If the reason for the disagreement is a discrepancy in desires, take a piece of paper and write what you would like to do. It is advisable to have at least 5 items on the list. Then compare your desires and try to deduce from them something common to both. You will be surprised how effective this method is.

However, it is worth remembering that, regardless of the reason for the disagreement, the main thing is to find out its reason. Conflict prevention is to listen and hear each other. In addition, it is necessary to voice your desires without expecting that your spouse will guess them. If you follow these two rules, the number of conflict situations in family life will be minimized.

The problem of fathers and children

In modern society there are three main directions: older, mature and young. Generation conflict is a normal component of the relationship between elders and younger ones.

As for the discussion of this type of disagreement, a transition to micro levels is inevitable, when this kind of situation becomes commonplace in any average family, where the views of parents differ from those of children or teenagers. However, different worldviews do not necessarily lead to conflict situations.

How to avoid generational conflict? The only way out of this situation is to accept the views of the other side, mutual respect and tolerance. For example, pensioners, having stopped fulfilling their daily professional duties, find themselves in a difficult psychological situation when they need help and support from loved ones.
Teenagers, in turn, are at an age when categorical behavior and complete denial of the opinions of adults is normal for them. Between pensioners and young people stand mature people, who may also suffer from different views on the lives of their parents or children. In this case, each party must be tolerant of and respect the opinions of others. Only such mutual understanding can be the answer to the question of how to avoid conflict between different generations.

Teenage conflicts

In adolescence, which is considered one of the most difficult periods, conflicts occupy a special place, being an integral part of social life. Conflicts among adolescents arise not only in relationships with parents, but also when communicating with peers. Often, it is the child’s difficult relationships with friends that become a serious cause for parental concern. At this time, adults are required to make every effort to help the teenager avoid difficulties in communication. There are several rules that, if followed, can help avoid such situations and help a teenager move to the next stage of life as painlessly as possible. So, if your goal is to prevent conflicts, you are required to:

Don't blame the teenager for everything. It is at this stage of life that trusting relationships with adults are crucial for him. Therefore, it is extremely important that the child knows that he can trust you in any situation without fear of accusations against him.
Find out the reason for the disagreement. Find out from your child all the details of what happened before drawing conclusions. If a teenager withdraws into himself, you should talk to school teachers and find out the cause of the problem.
Realize that parental intervention is not always beneficial. If we are talking about a quarrel between best friends, who can swear several times a day, and sometimes it comes to a fight, then the intervention of adults will only have a negative result. Before deciding to help your child, find out all the details of what happened.
Do not show indifference. The position of an outside observer is not always beneficial. For example, if your child has serious problems with peers who do not accept him into their circle, this can lead to serious psychological problems in the future. This situation should be taken under control as early as possible, finding out the reasons for such behavior.

Your friendly attitude and tolerance are crucial in resolving teenage conflicts painlessly.

Personality conflicts

Especially common are personal conflicts that can arise both between colleagues and between people connected by various social ties. They, as a rule, appear due to the impossibility of accepting the point of view, ideology, value system and other attitudes of the enterprise. Also, disagreements may arise between employees due to the incompatibility of their characters and other psychological characteristics.

The main quality that helps in overcoming such situations is tolerance towards the opinions of others. It is necessary to realize that no one is obliged to share your point of view, because each person has his own opinion. Awareness of this fact makes it easier to perceive personality differences.

Conflict resolution styles

Depending on the goals and interests of the subjects of a conflict situation, the following styles of conflict resolution are distinguished:

Competition is one of the most stringent options for resolving conflict situations. Suitable for people who seek to solve a problem primarily to satisfy their own interests. The style is most appropriate in cases where the subject of the conflict is an employee of the organization, and resolving the situation is within the competence of the manager. In this case, it is competition that will teach employees to obey, and will also help restore faith in the success of the enterprise in a difficult situation.
Evasion is expressed in postponing making a decision for too long under various pretexts. This leads to the fact that the situation only becomes more complicated over time, which is why this style is the least preferred.
Adaptation involves focusing on the behavior of others and an unwillingness to defend one’s own interests. The result of choosing this style of conflict resolution is a concession to the opponent’s demands and recognition of his rightness.
Cooperation involves solving a problem in one’s favor, taking into account the interests of the other party. This is the most acceptable style of resolving social conflicts, because it is the key to maintaining peaceful relations in the future.
A compromise based on mutual concessions on both sides. It is suitable for situations where the goals of the parties coincide, only the ways to achieve them differ. This style of conflict resolution is often the best option for the participants.

Basic ways to resolve conflict situations

All existing methods of conflict resolution can be divided into two large groups: negative and positive.

Negative means a struggle for one’s own interests, the main goal of which is to change the conflict situation. This can be achieved in various ways:

influencing the other side;
changing the balance of power;
using both true and false information about an opponent for one’s own purposes;
correctly assessing the other side and its capabilities.

This method of resolving a conflict is quite aggressive and often leads to a breakdown in unity between the parties in the future. This is why it should be avoided whenever possible.

Positive methods of conflict resolution involve negotiating to determine the most optimal solution to the situation. They, as a rule, require concessions from the subjects and lead to partial satisfaction of the interests of the parties.

Thus, there are many ways to resolve conflict situations, but the best way is to prevent it.

How to avoid conflicts

The most common reason for this kind of disagreement is a person’s excessive emotionality. If your goal is to prevent conflicts, you should learn to:

calmness and resistance to stress, thanks to which you can calmly assess the current situation;
keep your emotions under control in order to be able to convey your arguments to your opponent as effectively as possible;
listen and pay attention to the words and expressions of feelings of others;
realize the right of each person to resolve this or that situation in his own way;
do not use offensive words or do things to humiliate your opponent.

Following these rules will help to avoid the emergence of various conflict situations, and therefore the need to look for the optimal way out of them.

Should conflicts always be avoided?

A conflict situation is always a clash of interests. Such a confrontation assumes that each side will try to defend its desires and point of view, which will inevitably lead to various kinds of disagreements. Of course, it is difficult to argue with the fact that a bad peace is better than a good quarrel, and it is better to remain silent somewhere than to provoke a scandal.

But if you look at the situation from the other side, it turns out that conflicts also have certain benefits. For example, they help to see existing problems in a new light. This applies to both personal relationships and business ones. Expressing your opinion is always better than silently experiencing your own dissatisfaction. In personal relationships, such silence will sooner or later lead to a large-scale scandal, which could end in a complete separation of people. This applies to couples, friends and even parents and children. No person can silently endure dissatisfaction all his life; sooner or later it will come out. The later this happens, the worse the consequences will be. That is why the periodic occurrence of conflict situations will help avoid global problems in relationships. However, it must be taken into account that they must be resolved correctly so that they do not drag on and become a habitual way of life.

As for business relationships, conflicts of various kinds also make it possible to see the problems existing in the team, the solution of which should be started as early as possible.

When people live for years without a conflict situation arising, this indicates a lack of closeness between them and indifference to each other. No one can read another person's mind and fully meet his expectations. Therefore, you must definitely speak out your desires, even if this leads to a small conflict. Trying to reach an agreement and solve the problem peacefully will improve relationships instead of causing harm.

However, too frequent disagreements are also not an indicator of a healthy relationship, so preventing conflicts is sometimes the best way to resolve the situation.