Often, the only reason for unfulfilled desires is a lack of faith. We passionately desire, and at the same time we do not believe that it will work out. A sad rule: a person gets what he wants.
We don’t believe in ourselves, we don’t believe in God and the Universe, to whom we send desperate signals: “I want to get a lot of money!”, “I want this person!”, “I want this job!”
On the one hand, you indicate that you really, really want to get something, on the other hand, you nip in the bud all opportunities for quickly changing your life.
What can help you gain faith in yourself and in all the miraculous powers that can make your wishes come true? How to believe that everything is possible and everything will work out?..
Losing My Religion
The first reason for lack of faith in one’s own strengths and the ability to achieve what one wants is the little experience (or even its complete absence) in forming one’s personal faith. Everything that we believe in, we heard from our parents, educators, teachers, read from the greats, and so on. These are external sources from which ready-made attitudes came to us: “If you study (try, work) poorly, you will not achieve anything,” “He may be poor, but he is honest,” “Nothing just happens that way,” and the like. We take it on faith - and live with this faith.
Have you noticed that most achieved people, as a rule, have a personal charter and their own ideology by which they and their corporations live? At one time, these people took responsibility for realizing their dream of succeeding. And along with this - responsibility for your actions and words, your failures and defeats. For a person who becomes his own measure of all things, it is natural for him to develop a whole complex of personal beliefs and his own faith.
A pessimistic conclusion from the above: in order to gain your faith and get the opportunity to get what you want, you need to take full responsibility for your life (we wrote in more detail about what this means). The conclusion is optimistic: it is available to everyone.
To believe is to see
“Sometimes seeing is believing, and sometimes the most real things in the world are invisible” (The Polar Express).
The second reason for disbelief is that most of us do not take on blind faith what we have never encountered: you have to see it to believe it. If there is no previous experience (this has never happened before, it has never worked out like this) – then it is almost unrealistic to believe that it will happen now and that it will work out now.
How to solve this problem?..
Finding Faith
There is an effective method based on NLP (neurolinguistic programming) techniques that will help both “increase” non-existent experience and create a belief that has not existed until now.
Forming a new belief
Express a specific belief that you want to believe. Naturally, it must be relevant to you and, of course, it must be unreal - otherwise, you would already believe in it.
We take responsibility
First, for the fact that you undertake to believe in the belief you created. Naturally, this will not happen quickly - and in today’s fast-paced world, where most new technologies are aimed at efficiency, this cannot but be frustrating. But even in such a world, each vegetable still needs its own specific period of ripening. So, …
...Introducing a new belief into the subconscious
Accustom your brain to the familiarity, naturalness, and even routine of a new belief:
— create a tradition of writing down your belief on paper every morning.
- print and stick your belief in all visible places in the house, put it in your wallet, stick a sticker with this inscription in your diary.
- every day, take a minute to visualize - imagine that your belief has already become a reality. Since you receive information about the world through 5 senses, for the brain there is no difference between what already exists and what does not exist in nature - if you present it to it in a quality manner. Create an experience in your brain: a picture and a feeling of something that doesn’t exist yet. Since our entire reality lives there, this is the most direct way to create the desired reality for ourselves. All that is needed for this is a system, daily exercises that will not take up much of your time.
Find reinforcement for your new beliefs today - in past experiences. For example, a person who wants to receive more money will probably be able to remember the time when he.
- communicate with those who are already close to your new beliefs, and who are already living the way you would like - and whose example will help you root your faith.
- find confirmation of your new beliefs in everyday life. Collect motivational stories - those who have already achieved what you want to achieve - to fuel your own faith.
According to your faith it will be given to you. This famous biblical saying is known to all Orthodox Christians. But many people don't even know what they believe. That is, they believe in something, for example, in what the media tells us, writes in newspapers, neighbors say, in what seems to us, but certainly not in themselves. Almost all people lack self-confidence. Many people simply don’t believe in themselves for several reasons (more on that below). That’s why the article is called: Is it possible to believe in yourself and how to believe in yourself?
I’ll answer, it’s impossible to believe in yourself just like that. To believe, you need a reason that will make you do it. For example, you do not believe that a person can fly. If you see a flying person, at first you will be surprised, for a very long time and loudly, but after a while this will be the norm for you. A fact is a fact and there is no point in arguing with it. You're not surprised when you drive a car. You just press the pedal, turn the steering wheel and swear while standing in a traffic jam. And once upon a time, creating a car was a fantasy, not to mention telephones. Well, how is it that voice is transmitted through the air? This is actually so difficult!
It's the same with faith. To believe in yourself you need proof To stop believing in yourself, you also need proof. Now you don’t believe in yourself because something happened in your life, because of which you stopped believing in your strength. Worse, you no longer consider yourself worthy of what you want. Let's dig deeper and figure out what happened that made you stop taking yourself into account.
Reasons for not believing in yourself
The first reason for not believing in yourself is your environment., which constantly proves to you that you won’t succeed. Your relatives do this job especially well. How often have you told them that you want to do this and that, and they answered you: “You won’t succeed because...” and give a lot of arguments why you won’t be able to do it. They will start listing to you examples of people who were bigger than you, had better connections, were more gifted than you, and they failed to do what you set out to do. So don’t poke your nose where you don’t belong – this is for the elite. Or they will begin to list examples from their life, feeding you with their negative experiences, and, of course, you will have a problem, and you will simply abandon this idea. Nice, isn't it?
The second reason is comparing yourself to others. There will always be someone better than you at what you want to succeed at. For example, in sports. This karateka fights better than you, and he has more chances to become the champion of Russia than you. You constantly compare yourself with him, and your faith in becoming the champion of Russia passes to him. Even worse, during sparring he beats you up because you are sure that he is stronger than you. You start not giving 100% and lose to him. To believe in yourself you need victory, to disbelieve in yourself you need defeat. Everything is simple and clear!
Constantly comparing yourself to someone else seems to take away your faith. A person begins to think like: “How can I succeed in this matter if Petrovich himself could not. So I shouldn’t even try.”. It’s thoughts like these that take away our faith.
The third reason for lack of self-confidence is, of course, failures and failures. This reason is the main reason why a person stops believing in himself. Some people say - "Just believe in yourself". This does not work. A person cannot believe in himself after forty-two. But how can this be done if life has proven to a person that nothing comes easy, you have to work everywhere, have talent, connections and other attributes that help achieve success.
Many people, after a series of failures, simply stop trying anything. Why do you think? Because failure hurts, and pain is what a person tries to avoid. All people strive for joy, but sometimes they get into trouble and cause themselves pain. And with each failure a person believes in himself less and less, and vice versa - with each victory he believes in his abilities more and more.
By the way, we all face failure. So don’t think that you are the only one in the whole world who is so poor and unnoticed by God. Successful people make more mistakes than ordinary people. This means they experience more pain and disappointment. This really looks like masochism. In the end they win and...
How to believe in yourself?
Let's move on to answering this question. So how to believe in yourself? I hope you haven't forgotten the first reason for not believing in yourself. This is your environment, which tirelessly imposes its opinion on you. It's worth listening, but it's better to think with your own head. If you decide to do something, then you should not share it with those people who will make fun of you. Keep your plans secret from such people, act in a "stealth".
At the age of 19, my brother and I decided to open ice cream by weight. We told our ancestors about this, and they started telling us you know what. They said that all the places were already taken, this should have been done earlier, it’s difficult, you need to know this, and so on. And they told us this many times. But we didn’t listen. We began to act quietly. After five months of hard work (April 18, 2010), we opened. The ancestors did not know about this. And when we told them, their eyes widened. Mom even shook my hand. So you do the same.
Don't take other people's experiences 100%. This is the experience of strangers. Just say - "Paid". This experience is of no use to you, you have your own life and you are a different person who grew up in a different time. What they had will not happen to you again. Lightning does not strike in the same place. Remember this.
The second advice is the opposite. There are such rare individuals who will always support you in your endeavors. This again could be your parents or friends. If you doubt something, go to such a person, talk to him, and I am sure that after the conversation you will have full strength for action.
And now about comparing yourself with others. We need to get rid of this forever. Comparing yourself with someone who is better than you will not help you believe in yourself. Of course, sometimes you need to compare, but not so often. Do you really think that all successful people are simply the most gifted, smart, beautiful and talented people in the world? Of course no. If Vasya is better than you in something, this does not mean that he will succeed in his business. Maybe he doesn’t have the same patience and efficiency as you? These are the most necessary qualities for success in any endeavor, including self-discipline. In addition, you can get along well with people, but Vasya cannot. Then they will help you with something, but Vasya will not be helped because he is such a fool.
Let's talk about failures. Everyone has them. And here you should not focus on them. Instead of thinking about failure, look for an opportunity that will help you achieve your goal. Thinking about failure is a brake, looking for opportunities is a gas. Which pedal are you pressing? A person loses faith when he thinks about failures, and gains when he thinks about victories. Most of us think specifically about failures, since failures cause strong negative emotions - disappointment, despair, despondency. The joy is not so strong, it passes quickly. But those negative emotions do not dissolve so quickly. And of course, it’s difficult to act when there are such bad memories in your head.
For example, the tenth girl has already refused to go on a date with you. Of course, making such an offer for the eleventh time will be very difficult. You will be sure that you will be refused. Although, then why be afraid! And yet, there will definitely be someone who will agree to go on a date with you. Yes, even if it’s the forty-third, there will still be one (if you change tactics).
Therefore, in order not to lose faith in yourself, do not think about failures, think about new opportunities. New opportunities promise you victory; thinking about failures will not move you from your place.
How to believe in yourself
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Confidence in yourself and your abilities is the key to success. A person who considers himself insignificant is doomed to failure. Fear of failure forces you to give up high goals and leaves your potential unrevealed. Self-confidence, on the contrary, gives endless energy and strength, helps to achieve incredible heights. A self-confident person can withstand and not break under the pressure of any obstacles and failures. But how to believe in yourself? What needs to be done to make fear and uncertainty disappear?
Why don't you believe in yourself?
Take a closer look at small children. All children are characterized by a sincere conviction that they are right. They are ready to cry, scream, throw hysterics, just to get their way. They are sure that the whole world belongs to them. You just have to put in a little effort and what you want will be yours.
But where does this feeling disappear with age? Many parents try to protect their children from making mistakes and warn them all the time. However, if a child constantly hears “you won’t succeed”, “you can’t”, “this is unprofitable, unpromising”, then his confidence will melt before his eyes. With such upbringing, any goal will seem impossible.
Over time, a child who was not taught in childhood to overcome obstacles and look for alternative ways to solve a problem will begin to doubt himself and his abilities even more. Every failure will be perceived as a personal drama, a tragedy on a universal scale. In the end, an insecure adult will prefer to be content with little.
How to change?
It is never too late to gain faith in yourself and become a confident and successful person. The main obstacle is fear. Sometimes it’s really not easy to overcome it, but the effort expended will definitely not be in vain. So what should you do?
- Feel your fear and uncertainty, feel it with every cell of your skin. Try to describe your feelings. Where is he hiding? Perhaps your chest feels tight, your breathing quickens, your fingers go numb? Remember these emotions. Knowing your enemy by sight is very important.
- Accept yourself as you are. It's normal to be afraid. The only difference between a successful person and a failure is that the former has learned to deal with his fear. Don't scold yourself, you will definitely learn to control this feeling.
- Get support. Encouraging words and reliable support are very important. You must strive to surround yourself with reliable people who are always ready to lend a helping hand.
- Set yourself a goal. First, small, easy to do. Develop a plan to achieve it. Having received what you want, remember these pleasant sensations. Now take on something more difficult.
- Analyze which qualities help you in solving problems, and which, on the contrary, hinder you. Focus on developing your positive sides. Remember that only the flower that is watered regularly grows.
- Make a list of your victories. You don't have to write them down on a piece of paper. The main thing is to remember that achieving your goal is not a problem for you. Maybe not right away, maybe not exactly as planned, but you did it. And you will do it more than once.
What is absolutely forbidden to do?
Throughout our lives, we often make the same mistakes, each time stepping on the same old rake. In order not to completely bruise your forehead, it is important to abandon the previous pattern of behavior. Here is a list of those settings that are best abandoned forever:
What kind of insecure person is he? Most often, this is a smart guy who is afraid to talk to a girl, a hard worker who does not dare to take a high position in the company, a beautiful, kind housewife who thinks she is ugly. There can be a lot of examples. All that unites these people is their weak side. Therefore, you need to work on it.
To believe in yourself, you need to challenge your fear. Are you afraid to talk to a girl? Go out into the street and ask the first person you meet. Do you consider yourself not beautiful? Sign up for a photo shoot and submit a photo to a beauty contest.
Along the way, find something to do that you think is worthy of respect. For example it could be:
Sometimes it's really hard to believe in yourself. Don't back down. Personally, I advise you to look at the situation from a different angle. As they say, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Sublimate the energy of loss, despair, fear, perhaps this is what will help you unlock your potential.
Irina, Samara
Many people wonder how to believe in themselves. Everyone understands that this is really important for a full and successful life. Each individual is unique, but not everyone realizes this. But believing in yourself always helps you achieve your goals. There is a famous saying that goes something like this: “To be sure of triumph is to almost win.” This quote can be slightly modified. Then it will sound like this: “Believing in your strength means becoming a full 50% accomplished person.”
What is the secret of successful people?
Pay attention to famous people who achieved their goals and became successful; look at famous actors, politicians, famous rich businessmen. What do they have in common? That's right, each of them is a fairly confident person. Do these individuals really have no flaws? Naturally, there is, but these people have learned to believe in themselves so much that their shortcomings often seem like advantages. And for some they are simply not noticeable. So why can't you follow their example and become an accomplished and confident person? What is the reason?
Identifying the causes of complexes
Many people cannot believe in their strength, because they are hampered by complexes acquired at one time or another in their lives. You must try to defeat them. However, in order for the struggle to be successful, you need to understand their cause. Some have complexes related to the body and figure. For others, they appeared in adolescence, when the opinion of the majority mattered greatly.
Self-hypnosis
Once the causes of the complexes are established, you can begin to get rid of them. There is one good method to help develop self-confidence. You can also use it to defeat complexes. We are talking about self-hypnosis. This is a very effective method of psychological influence by an individual on himself. There are several options for self-hypnosis.
Three effective ways of self-hypnosis
Stand in front of the mirror and thoroughly examine your reflection. Try not to focus on what you think is a flaw. Instead, celebrate your strengths. Maybe you have a beautiful color either or your nose is just lovely? And perhaps your toned body is what’s great! Remember: one day you will develop self-confidence. Give yourself credit for these benefits. Right now, at this moment, standing in front of the mirror, shower yourself with many compliments. After some time, you will notice how your self-confidence and self-esteem will go up the mountain. At the next stage, try to turn your flaws into advantages. Think about how you can successfully present them or disguise them well. You can do anything! This method of self-hypnosis is very effective. However, of course, you need to understand that you may not get amazing results the first time. Building self-confidence is a labor-intensive and lengthy process. But the result will please you. Self-confidence is the most important thing in every person’s life. It is very important to be aware of this.
2. The next method of building self-confidence is as follows: you need to take a piece of paper and write down all your good sides. We are talking about both appearance and spiritual qualities. Try to remember at least 20 benefits. Now read this list. There are so many good things here! Isn't it nice to realize this? Praise yourself for the work you have done and for your advantages. And whenever you have doubts about your abilities, re-read this list many times. You are unique and you have a lot to love about yourself! Don't forget this for a minute. You will see, pretty soon you will have faith in yourself.
3. Keep a notebook to record all your small and big victories. Record even the smallest achievements in it. And re-read this regularly. This way you will realize that you are, in fact, an accomplished and successful person, and you will develop self-confidence. Learn to love yourself, and then fate will smile on you.
Believing in yourself: quotes
There are many sayings regarding self-confidence. Let's remember some of them.
1. said that a person who thinks that he is not capable of any action deprives himself of power.
2. Susan Boyle also has her own opinion on this issue. She claims that every person has many enemies who are ready to convince him that he is not capable of anything. Therefore, you should not convince yourself of this on your own.
3. Mikhail Genin encourages you to believe in your star, even if it is not yet known to astronomers. A very optimistic statement.
4. Johann Goethe said that self-confidence can be called magic. And when you succeed, you can achieve all your goals.
5. According to the opinion, only by believing in unreal happiness can we receive quite tangible benefits.
6. Erich Fromm argued that it is necessary to be an undying candle and support for yourself. Great advice by the way. He also argued that one must act in accordance with one’s truth, that it should always illuminate the path.
7. says that it’s great when a person holds his own light switch in his hands. And this is truly wonderful. We can turn on the lights at will.
8. It's also worth heeding the advice of Neale Donald Walsh. He calls to shine in the midst of darkness, but not to complain about it. You shouldn't forget who you are when you're surrounded by things that have nothing to do with you.
Finally
Great sayings, aren't they? Remember them and repeat them regularly in your mind: this will only make your self-confidence stronger.
It is often difficult for a person to believe in himself, especially when it seems to him that he is useless and unworthy of happiness. But in reality, you are very valuable in your own right, and you deserve more. If you cannot see the good in yourself, you should look at simple techniques that will help you begin to believe in yourself. You can evaluate your achievements, set goals, make new friends, put your skills to use, or you can simply start taking care of yourself and work on your self-esteem. In this article you will learn about how to believe in yourself.
Steps
Developing a positive outlook
- Try starting with this: “Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m useless, but I want to see what I can do. What do you think I’m good at?”
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Find something you believe in. You may find it difficult to believe in yourself if you are always trying to please others. Look for things that you like and truly believe in. Being passionate about something will help you work harder, and at some point you will know what you are capable of.
Set yourself achievable goals. This will allow you to believe in yourself and your ability to achieve what you want. Goals should be relevant to your skills and achievable. For example, you decided to study to become a veterinary assistant because you love animals. In this case, a short-term achievable goal would be to enroll in studies. When you do this, you can set a new realistic goal that will lead you to achieving your long-term goal.
- Be willing to step out of your comfort zone from time to time. Even if the goal is achievable, you will still have to do things you wouldn't normally do.
- Once you come up with a goal, work on it until you achieve it. Don't give up halfway if things get difficult. If the goal is very complex, try breaking it down into several small ones and take on one at a time.
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At the end of each day, take stock. Reflection is an important part of working on yourself. Reflection will help you understand what you do well and what you still need to work on. At the end of each day, reflect on your progress. If one day you fail to do what you intended, learn from that experience and avoid repeating the same mistake in the future.
- For example, you couldn't get up in the morning and go hiking as planned. This will make you realize that you lack motivation in the morning. Try setting multiple alarms, maybe even placing some of them a meter away from the bed so you have to get up to turn them off. You can choose a different time for your hike so that you don’t have to force yourself to do something in the morning.
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Be persistent. Sometimes we want to give up because we are afraid of failure, but it is not unusual to encounter difficulties in a new endeavor. Don't blame yourself for doing something wrong; rather, give yourself permission to try new things without worrying about the consequences. Many successful inventors have come to the conclusion that having the right mindset is more important to success than being fixated on a goal.
Take on challenging tasks. If we always choose the easy way, we may decide that complex tasks are beyond our capabilities. Prove to yourself that this is not true by taking on something difficult. Do things that bring you satisfaction, even if it takes work. You can do anything! Remember that a complex task can always be broken down into several simple ones.
Learn to speak your mind. If in some situation you have your own opinion and you know how you can do something more efficiently, do not be silent! Don't settle for the current state of things. Take an active part. This will let others know that you can control the situation and express your wishes. It will also allow you to surround yourself with people whose beliefs and expectations are similar to yours. Research has shown that in order to feel more comfortable around people, it is important to work on your self-confidence and your ability to express your desires.
Help others. By helping other people, a person begins to better understand what he is capable of and becomes more self-confident. Helping others through volunteering and doing acts of kindness every day gives a wonderful feeling of self-fulfillment. It also gives you the opportunity to express and develop some of your character traits. If you help others, you will feel confidence that you have never felt before.
Make a list of your achievements. This will help you in the first step. Sit down and write down everything you have achieved in life. Include even little things like learning how to assemble IKEA furniture or throwing a party for a friend or relative.
Talk to people who love you. If you find it difficult to see something beautiful in yourself, you can talk to your loved ones at any time. Sometimes it is difficult for us to see something good in ourselves, but close people always see it.
Personal care
Take care of your appearance and hygiene. It will be much easier to believe in yourself if you are confident in your appearance. To always look and feel good, take care of your hygiene and get yourself in order every day.