How to get rid of old anger. Ways to get rid of anger

What should and should not be done to cope with irritation and contain anger? These 13 tips will help not only mothers, but...

The pace of modern life and frequent stress affect us, making us nervous and irritable. Outbursts of anger and aggression cause inconvenience to both you and those around you. Especially, . Let's learn to deal with anger together!

Everyone has an outburst of anger or anger. But if you have depression, you may want to add anger to the list (along with sadness, sadness, trouble sleeping, and changes in appetite) of common symptoms.

If you find that you have become very short-tempered, irritable, grumpy, impatient, this may indicate depression, according to psychiatrists.

Treating depression can reduce anger. But there are things you can do yourself to dull the intense and sometimes dangerous feeling.

How to Control Your Anger: Use the Count to 10 Method (100)

Thomas Jefferson once famously said, “When you're angry, count to 10; when you're angry, count to 100.”

Angry people get wound up right away, and in such a state you can do or say something that you will greatly regret later. Counting slowly to a number you like will give your blood pressure and heart rate a chance to return to normal. Time cools the dust.

How to Contain Anger: Forgiveness

Even if you still don't forget the incident, forgiving the person who made you angry is a great way to overcome anger. Forgiveness can help you stop the tape effect, where negative thoughts play over and over in your head like a terrible scene from a movie.

An angry person cannot stop thinking about what made him angry. Stopping destroying yourself with constant thoughts and repetitions does not mean accepting the negative actions of another person as the norm. It simply means that you are not going to turn against him and allow negativity to take over your life.

How to Control Your Anger: Get Distracted

Another way to let off steam is to distract yourself. An effective start would be to set a personal scale, where 1 is a state of calm, and 10 is extreme irritation and anger.

When you are between 5 and 10, do something that will distract you from the negative emotions before you start trying to solve the problem.

This could be painting, cooking, walking, or doing a crossword puzzle. Anything.

How to Control Your Anger: Take a Deep Breath

Taking a deep breath can ease the pangs of anger. Slow breaths slow your heart rate. It is recommended to take deep breaths from the diaphragm, rather than shallow ones from the chest. Soothing music and muscle relaxation exercises may also help.

Some people turn to yoga, which also emphasizes the role of breathing.

How to Control Anger: Don't Deny You're Angry

People who are able to understand and accept their anger are less likely to resort to aggression or violence, according to a 2011 study published in the journal Emotion. Those who know how to classify their emotions know how to control them.

They think more deeply about emotional experiences and are more sensitive to the causes and possible consequences of emotions. Thus, in a state of anger, they will quickly be able to effectively cope with negative emotions and are much less likely to resort to extreme measures of getting rid of emotions - hysterics, drunkenness and drugs.

How to control anger: write

Journaling allows you to slow down and think through how you will respond rather than react.

What is the difference? The reaction is based on emotion. Our emotions are natural, but they do not always have a logical basis. When we respond, we choose how to respond. We mentally think through how we want the story to develop and how best to implement it.

How to Contain Anger: Don't Make a Scene

Instead of storming the room and yelling at your guy for not paying attention to you, write about it or use some other anger management tactic. Once you feel calmer, enter the room and say that you miss you and would like to do something together.

As it comes back, so it will respond - the rule applies unconditionally.

How to control anger: exercise

Aerobic exercise, such as brisk walking or jogging, can be a great way to deal with anger. You experience the same physiological sensations as when you are angry - adrenaline, sweating, heavy breathing. But there is a reason for this and it has nothing to do with negative emotions.

You have an explanation: you're on edge because you've practiced. Exercise also releases endorphins, chemicals that help us calm down and manage our emotions.

How to Control Anger: Practice Compassion

Empathy is incompatible with anger and aggression.

It is difficult to feel anger and compassion at the same time. Therefore, it is absolutely normal to do something nice for the person who is taking you out. Research shows that compassion can also dispel another person's anger.

How to Control Your Anger: Don't Send Emails or Messages When You're Angry

Never, ever send anything to anyone when you're extremely angry.

If you really need to say something, write a letter and send it to the drafts folder so that you can re-read it later and think about whether it’s worth sending.

This will give you time to find a sane and rational response to the situation. And don't be afraid to tell the person who offended you that you need time to think about the problem.

How to Control Anger: Try to Be Grateful

Simple gratitude can make us happy - as much as it helps us move away from anger.

You don't necessarily have to be grateful to the person who hurt you, but you can be grateful for other things in your life, big and small.

Long-term gratitude practice may even improve your health, according to scientists.

How to control anger: talk to each other, but not right away

Determine how intense your anger is on a scale of 1 to 10 before you decide to speak up. If you have been driven to white heat and you immediately try to start a conversation, a conflict awaits you. Wait and cool down.

When you feel that you have control over your anger and can express what's on your mind without destroying everyone and everything in your path, it's time to start a discussion.

How to Control Your Anger: Consider Prayer

This option isn't for everyone, but scientists have observed that people who prayed for another person, be it a stranger, a bully, or a friend in need, experienced less anger.

These observations took place regardless of the person's religion or diligence. To some extent, prayer can distract from angry thoughts. When people pray, they give others the benefit of the doubt, which dispels their own negative feelings.

If prayer is not your thing, spend a few minutes thinking about the purpose of your anger and see if you can give it the benefit of the doubt.

They say that every year people become angrier and angrier. There are a lot of quarrels and disagreements going on in the world, emotions are overflowing. But why does this happen? Next, we will try to answer the question of why people get angry and how to get rid of anger. You will learn the opinion of a psychologist about this and will be able to understand the reasons for your anger.

What is anger and why do people get angry?

If you want to get rid of anger, pay attention to yourself from the very beginning. There is no need to say that your neighbor is evil or familiar. Study yourself, maybe it's all about you. Ask yourself the following question: why am I angry? and am I angry at all?

If I often get angry and show aggression towards others, it’s worth thinking about whether something might be wrong in my personal life. Perhaps you need a rest, a vacation, you need to relax or something like that.

Anger as a response

After you have understood yourself, you can think about what does not suit other people, in fact, why people get angry. People often show aggression as a response to actions from others. For example, they are unhappy with what their family, friends or relatives are doing. This results in dissatisfaction and anger.

Anger as an indicator of strength

To get rid of anger, keep in mind that some people are angry only because they want to show their superiority over another person. They believe that if they show anger, the other person will then fear and respect them. Such anger can arise from a boss towards a subordinate, seniors towards juniors, etc.

Alcohol as a source of anger

An undeniable fact is that alcohol can cause a lot of anger in any person. Often the kindest people become aggressive after drinking alcohol. But even if they are not angry while drinking alcohol, this does not soften its effect. Brain cells gradually die off, and over time a person loses his values, becomes angry and dissatisfied with everything.

Remember that all people have some good in them. Even the most notorious criminals were once good people. Something influenced their life, some circumstances changed it. And after that, such people began to show anger and aggression. Don't be those people.

If you want to get rid of anger, always tune yourself to positive emotions. Constantly examine yourself, look deep into your heart. Try to forgive people, even those who did something bad to you. Show strength not through anger, but through your character. And then you will see how your life will transform, how many more new and bright moments it will give you.

Often, many people do not know how to get rid of anger, but it can appear completely unexpectedly, be it trauma or loss. In most cases, you will be able to hide your feelings. However, one should expect the arrival of negative emotions that will not go away on their own. In this state, you can, if you wish, make others guilty of something, not paying attention to the fact that it is not their fault. Psychologists characterize this state as displacement of anger.

Feelings of anger can also affect a person both emotionally and physically. Anger can even be acknowledged when talking to someone or when applying physical stress to the body. The most effective method of getting rid of anger is playing sports, as it reduces muscle tension.

It also happens that the feeling of anger gradually increases, and at some point you can no longer cope with it. It can also cause you to feel unwell and feel depressed. This article will help you answer this question: “How to get rid of anger?” He will also give some useful tips on this topic.

Advice one

To begin with, you just need to realize that you have a feeling of anger. It is a clear understanding of your problem that often becomes the reason for solving it;

Tip two

To get rid of anger,>try to find an interlocutor who understands you and whom you can trust. When talking with him, you will have the opportunity to understand what you are currently feeling;

Tip three

Without undue embarrassment, try to communicate with yourself. Even a tape recorder or player that can record the entire dialogue is perfect for these purposes. Afterwards you will have the opportunity to hear your feelings, which will seem foreign, not yours. It was as if it were a completely different person;

Tip four

Try to make a clear list of your feelings on a piece of paper. It should also indicate what worries you most. Then you will have the opportunity to indicate ways to influence what you would like to change.

Tip five

Try to identify those things that you cannot change. A simple list of them is a very useful thing. To get rid of anger, occasionally remind yourself that there are also things that are beyond your control. At first it is very difficult to realize, but with daily repetition of this information it begins to become habitual.

"Hello! Please help me understand this situation. I am 29 years old, and throughout my life I have been surrounded by people who cause me a lot of pain - my parents, my sister, my husband. They swear that they love me, but every now and then they insult me and even use physical force, however, then they always ask me for forgiveness. Because I don't want to lose them, I constantly forgive. But a feeling of hatred and a desire for revenge grows in me.

Sometimes I have terrible images in my head of how cruelly I could take it out on them. I am overwhelmed by the desire for revenge, it prevents me from living, it torments me. Only common sense stops it. If I let my anger go free, there will be a lot of blood, police and, possibly, my own crippled fate.

Tell me, how can I get out of the situation that has developed over the years? How to get rid of anger and resentment towards loved ones? Oksana Borisenko."

How to get rid of anger towards loved ones, answers psychologist Elena Poryvaeva

You know, I re-read your letter several times in a row and I really sympathize with you. But, on the other hand, I can’t understand why you still remain in a relationship where you continue to be insulted and beaten under the pretext of supposed love? Why do you need this? Obviously loneliness scares you more than violence against you and humiliation.

>You want to get rid of anger, but you don’t even try to save yourself. Moving away from them, leaving this relationship (leaving everyone alive) - this could be the beginning of the path. You want to get rid of anger, but choose the path of a martyr - “I will suffer, forgive, suppress anger in myself, and then, maybe, I will take revenge, and... I will suffer again because of them, but now sitting in prison or a mental hospital " Why do you need to suffer so much all your life because of them? Do you have the right to your own life, or are you created only to be a punching bag for your so-called “close people”?

I sympathize with you, because you have accumulated so much pain that just one thought is enough and terrible images of revenge fill you. I understand how much effort it must take you to push it deeper every time. And, unfortunately, every day it becomes more and more difficult for you to control these feelings and more and more strength is required for this. Strength taken away from everything else that may be in your life.

I don’t want to create illusions for you: this needs to be dealt with - long and carefully. Otherwise, it will sort itself out with you, and then the consequences can be disastrous not only for your freedom, but also for life in general.

And also take into account that feeling (hating, getting angry, etc.) and acting (“taking it out on them”) are two different things. If you want to get rid of anger, know that you have the right to any feelings. The question is what will you do with them next - cripple yourself and your destiny or create your own fulfilling life.

Anger can eat you up inside and slowly destroy your life. While anger is a natural emotion and a healthy reaction, giving in to it is dangerous. You have to learn to let him go for your sake. Here are some tips on exactly how to do just that.

Steps

Part 1

Basic Steps

Understand anger. When present over a long period of time, anger becomes an emotion that hurts the person experiencing it more than the person or people it is directed at. Anger often occurs when someone wants to avoid feeling hurt by a situation, but this anger can only end up hurting him or her further.

Identify the root of your anger. Find out what specifically is causing you pain. Only by identifying the loss or underlying problem can you confront it and let it go.

For example, if your spouse cheated on you or left you, naturally you would be angry. The sense of loss you are experiencing is most likely due to the loss of feeling loved, valued and respected.
As another example, if you feel angry after a friend betrays you, the loss that leads you to sadness and anger is the loss of friendship and companionship. The more important this feeling of friendship was to you, the greater will be your loss, and the greater will be your anger.

Allow yourself to grieve. Because anger is often a mask to hide pain, remove that mask when you are alone and allow yourself to grieve that pain or loss without feeling guilty or weak about it.
- Denying your grief is not a strength, although many people mistakenly believe that experiencing grief and sadness is a sign of weakness. When something upsetting happens, there is no real point in denying how much pain it causes you. The pain won't go away just because you refuse to admit it. In any case, the pain will remain longer if it is preserved internally.
- Instead of saying, “I'm fine,” admit, “I'm suffering.” In the long run, this acknowledgment will help relieve pain and anger more effectively than denial.
Replace resentment with compassion. Another way could be to try to put yourself in someone else's shoes. Consider the reasons the offender might have for such actions. You may never fully understand someone else's motives, or maybe you will agree with them after accepting them, but you will find it easier to stop being angry at someone after you spend a little time in his or her head.
- People rarely hurt others without hurting themselves in some way. Negativity spreads like a disease, and if you are caught by someone else's negativity, it is likely that the person caught it from someone else before.
Sorry. This does not mean that you have to accept, respect, or forgive the wrongdoing that caused your anger. In this sense, forgiveness only means making a conscious decision to let go of the grudge and desire to take revenge on the person who did you wrong.
- Understand that forgiving someone may not encourage the other party to change their behavior. The purpose of forgiveness in this sense is to cleanse yourself of the anger and resentment that is growing inside you. Forgiveness for one's own benefit is an internal necessity, not an external one.
- Forgiveness can help you build healthy relationships, achieve greater levels of spiritual and psychological well-being, reduce stress and anxiety, lower blood pressure, reduce symptoms of depression, and reduce your risk of alcohol or drug abuse.
Part 2
Approaching anger on a personal level
1. Take a more optimistic view. Remember that every cloud has a silver lining. Even though the situation that caused your anger may be extremely negative, there may be some positive aspects or side effects that are actually beneficial to you. Identify them and latch on to them to help you cope.
  - In particular, consider any ways your pain has helped you grow as a person. If that doesn't work, consider how your pain has put you on a new path that leads to good things that you might not have experienced if you skipped the path entirely.
  - If you can't find the positives in a bad situation, look at other good things in your life and other things you can be grateful for.
2. Write a letter or journal. If you keep a diary or journal, write about your anger as often as necessary to help you release it. If you don't have a journal, you can write an angry letter to the person who initiated your anger to vent your emotions. But don't send it.
  - Sending a letter is almost always a bad idea. Even if you phrase it as politely as possible, the other party will likely take it poorly, especially if he or she suffers from low self-esteem or other personal pain.
  - Ideally, you should write a letter, read it out loud, and tear it up or burn it as a form of symbolic release.
3. Scream. There are times when a person feels so angry that he or she feels the urge to scream. If you're facing this kind of anger right now, pause reading and scream into your pillow. Screaming gives you physical release. The mind and body are connected, so by physically releasing your anger, you can also help relieve some mental emotions.
  - As a precaution, you should make sure your screams are well muffled by a pillow to avoid disturbing your neighbors.
4. Practice. Like screaming, exercise provides a physical release of your anger. If you're not a big fan of exercise, you can still start small by walking more.
  - This works best when you find a form of exercise that you enjoy. Take a walk in the picturesque park, take a swim in the refreshing water or throw a couple of balls in the basket.
5. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. When memories of past anger begin to surface, quickly replace the thought with something positive to prevent your mood from worsening.
  - You may remember something good in the past, think about something exciting ahead, or think bigger by daydreaming.
  - Although, as a general rule, you will want to avoid thinking about things related to the person who hurt you, even if those thoughts are positive. Remembering the way it was can increase the pain of how things turned out, only increasing your anger as a result.
6. Metaphorically throw it away. If many of the details of a given situation upset you, you may want to find something symbolic to represent those components of your anger before throwing them away.
7. Find a hobby you like. Sometimes the best way to heal from negative emotions like anger is to have a positive hobby that you are truly committed to investing yourself in.
  - If you don't have a hobby yet, try a few different ones. Take a class in painting, cooking, knitting, or any other potential hobby that catches your attention.
Part 3
Approaching Anger on a Spiritual Level
1. Pray. If you believe in God, pray for strength of spirit and a willingness to let go of your anger. When you are unable to let go of your anger on your own, asking for Divine help can help soften your heart enough to release the anger.
  - If you can't find the words to express your anger and pain while praying, you can also look online and in prayer books for pre-written prayers that describe exactly how you feel.
2. Meditate. Whether you subscribe to any particular faith or not, meditation is a good way to stabilize your body, mind and soul. There are many types of meditation you can try, so choose what's best for you and your needs.
  - When learning to meditate for the first time, choose a basic meditation program and create a calming space for yourself, but not so relaxing that you fall asleep during your meditation exercises.
3. Turn to your faith. Again, if you believe in a higher power, relying on that higher power to find strength to overcome anger and resentment can be a successful idea.
  - In particular, if you believe in God and that God is loving and active in the process of human history, release your negativity and realize that God has a purpose for your pain and has not abandoned you.
  - Consult with the religious leader at your worship center or others who share your faith for support and guidance. Read biblical texts or spiritual books written on the subject of anger and forgiveness.

Your child again spilled soup on the floor, your subordinate once again did not understand the task, your spouse returned home late. Anger instantly boils inside you, you want to tear and throw, say a bunch of nasty things to the culprit. And then you don’t remember what you said and burn with shame for your behavior... After all, you could have done something differently?

In psychology, anger refers to emotional arousal of an aggressive nature. In other words, anger prepares our body to behave differently in order to eliminate the injustice that appears before you. It would seem that the situation is not so terrible and dangerous, but where do such outbursts of anger come from? Let's figure it out.

Reasons for anger

Hurt pride. It seems to many people that in one situation or another the offender deliberately hurts their pride with words or behavior, which causes severe pain. In this case, there is a desire to take revenge on him: “An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.”

Feeling powerless. If you take it out on a child, perhaps events have accumulated in your soul in which you constantly felt disadvantaged, could not or were afraid to object (for example, to your parents, boss, spouse). It is much easier to subordinate a child to your will than an evil boss.

Loading with aggression and trying to direct it in a “safe” direction. If you are ready to lash out at virtually innocent people: your spouse, parents, children, other relatives or even animals, this means that you have “recharged” aggression at work or in any other aggressive place, and are trying to direct your aggression into a safer, and perhaps , defenseless riverbed. For example, a small child, he will not dare to be rude in response, and an old grandmother is so used to enduring nagging in silence... Here we should not forget about the “boomerang” effect - everything bad comes back in a multiply amplified version...

The desire to defend one's opinion. If you notice that you suddenly explode in response to mild criticism from colleagues, spouse, friends, this means that subconsciously you are trying to defend your opinion in front of all the people with whom you once wanted to argue - educators, teachers, parents, past bosses and etc.

The disadvantages of anger are that you risk failing important projects and affairs, and most importantly, losing the trust and respect of people close to you. No wonder they say, “The word is not a sparrow; if it flies out, you won’t catch it.”

How to overcome anger?

How to deal with this? Let's look at 10 ways to overcome anger:

1. Constructive expression. Under no circumstances should you stifle your anger and your discontent. In one of the episodes we talked about psychosomatic diseases that are the result of pent-up emotions. What to do then? We live in a cultural society, therefore, it is worth learning to find adequate words to express our anger. For example, “I feel very uncomfortable right now. Let's postpone this conversation so as not to say unnecessary things to each other" or "I am upset/offended/angry/not happy with this situation.

What can we do now?

2. Imaginary enemy. This method came to us from the West. Western psychologists created relaxation rooms in companies, where they could beat dolls symbolizing bosses, paint their photographs, etc. Interesting, but looks like black magic. If this method confuses you, try a simpler one. Seclude yourself in your office and do some exercise - pretend to be a boxer: clench your hands into fists and deliver several “strong” blows to your imaginary opponent. If you don’t want to fight, you can imagine the offender in a funny situation - falling into a snowdrift, spilling tomato soup on himself, receiving a fat two from the teacher, cut out of velvet paper.

3. Photo of the screaming person. If you notice frequent outbursts of anger, place a photograph of an obnoxiously yelling person on your desk and try not to be like him.

4. Letter to the offender. Take a piece of paper, or even better, a notebook, and write down everything that comes to your mind and more. You need to write in detail and to such an extent that you no longer know what else to write. Then read it, calm down, tear it up and throw it away.

5. Behavior management:

Watching for signs of anger. Observe your anger symptoms. How do they look? Maybe the blood rushes to the face, the heartbeat/pulse quickens, breathing becomes difficult, or tension appears in the shoulder girdle and hands? Find in yourself that “last straw” that overflows the thicket of patience, followed by an explosion of anger.

Avoiding a stressful situation. As soon as you feel the “last” sign of anger, you should leave the game, telling your interlocutor something like this: “I’m too angry/nervous, I need to leave for a while. We will continue our conversation later." This will not be an escape; you warned your interlocutor in advance. After you have left the room/office, calmed down and returned, you should not act as if nothing happened. And this situation should be indicated: “I just got very angry for nothing, it has nothing to do with you, I apologize for that” or “I just got very angry because this situation annoys me / this person’s behavior is completely unacceptable / the current situation puts the work of the entire enterprise at risk "

6. Rest. If your job or other activity requires maximum effort from you, you should establish a daily routine where you can devote proper time to proper rest: go to bed early, take a walk during your lunch break, devote your weekends to your favorite activity - trips to nature, cooking your favorite dish, engaging in a hobby. If there are a lot of household chores on the weekend, distribute them wisely among all family members.

7. Sports. No matter how trivial it may sound, physical activity correctly distributes our irrepressible energy and charges us with positivity. Choose pleasant sports for yourself (fitness, shaping, yoga, exercise equipment, dancing, swimming) and the result will not keep you waiting long.

8. Breathing exercises. In situations of impending anger, use breathing exercises. Take a deep breath, hold your breath for 2 seconds, repeat 10 times.

9. Sedatives. You can take tinctures of valerian, motherwort, hawthorn, a sedative mixture or water treatments (contrast baths, cool showers).

10. Someone else's anger. If you are subject to another person's anger, act according to the situation. Distract him - ask your interlocutor for a glass of water, drop your pencil, and then change the conversation to another topic. In some situations, you can directly explain: “When they raise their voice at me, I don’t understand anything. Let's talk calmly. It’s very important for me to know that you don’t feel that way.”

How do you deal with anger - or readers' opinions

Alexandra, 28 years old

There are people who can easily cope with anger and rage. But there are also those who cannot do this. Here are a few options: 1. Imagine something pleasant, remember happy moments from your life.

2. Do something to distract yourself (washing dishes, cleaning, cooking).

3. You can go to the store and treat yourself to something, if possible.

Dmitry, 30 years old

I usually walk away from the person or situation that makes me angry. Or I can take the player, put on headphones and turn on the music I like at full blast.

Choose the option that you like and try not to think about the bad.

Aggressiveness is inherent in us by nature and, every time we suppress it, we direct our power against ourselves. The accumulated energy of anger and anger destroys us from the inside, causing illness, fatigue and depression. Is it worth it to come to this? How to get rid of accumulated grievances and negative emotions?

Give free rein to your feelings

Outbursts of anger and anger are a protective reaction of the body when our internal fuses are triggered. In this way, we get rid of the emotions and experiences that overwhelm us. But not everyone is capable of this because of their beliefs: some believe that openly expressing anger is bad, others believe that this is how they show their weakness.

But our strength lies in recognizing our weaknesses. Therefore, it is very important to allow yourself to be angry and experience anger. You don’t forbid yourself to laugh, do you? And joy is the same natural emotion as anger, only without your internal limitations. Get rid of beliefs that hold back the manifestation of your true nature, and free yourself from accumulated emotions without condemning yourself.

If you need to express your emotions on a physical level, do so (without harming yourself or others, of course). Take a pillow and start boxing, write a hate letter and burn it, lock yourself in the car and scream at the top of your lungs.

Don't take it to the limit

The best way to cope with anger is to tell the person who made you angry about it. Just say: “You know, I don’t like it when you do that or when you talk to me...” or “I’m upset with you because...”. Of course, it is not always justified to express everything to your face. You can address the offender through the mirror. Play out the situation that pissed you off, and, imagining in the mirror the one who offended you, express everything you think about him. After your anger has dried up, try to sincerely understand and forgive him. Forgiveness will help you completely free yourself from anger and aggression.

Keep a diary

Have you noticed that similar situations often make us angry? Keep a diary and write down everything that caused your anger. Describe what made you angry and how it made you feel. The world around us works like a big mirror, reflecting what is happening inside us. It often happens that we ourselves provoke a certain behavior of people towards us.

Is there something coming from you that makes others want to annoy you? Think about whether the person causing you dislike reflects what is in you. Perhaps he is doing something that you do not allow yourself to do. Assessing what is happening will help you find the reasons for your anger and change your own beliefs.

Learn to pause

An uncontrolled surge of irritation and anger can greatly harm you, ruining your career or personal life. The fee for a minute of weakness can be unreasonably high. Therefore, it is very important to learn to cope with the indignation or anger that grips you.

The easiest way to cope with yourself is to take a deep breath and count to ten. If possible, take a walk. Movement will help you cope with running adrenaline.

When you feel that you can barely restrain yourself from saying too much, mentally take some water into your mouth. Let the plot from the fairy tale about the enchanted water help you with this.

Once upon a time there lived an old man and an old woman. Not a day went by that they didn't swear. And although they were both tired of fighting, they couldn’t stop. One day I went to their house as a fortune teller and gave them a bucket of enchanted water: “If you feel like swearing again, take a mouthful of this water, and the scourge will pass.” As soon as she was at the door, the old woman began to nag the old man. And he took water into his mouth and remained silent. What now, should the old woman shake the air? - it takes two for a fight! So they got out of the habit of fighting.

Get rid of accumulated aggression

The following techniques, borrowed from the Taoist teachings of Shoy-Tao, will help you get rid of anger, anxiety and internal blocks.

Buddha's smile

Exercise "Buddha's Smile" will allow you to easily achieve a state of mental balance. Calm down and try not to think about anything. Completely relax the muscles of your face and imagine how they fill with heaviness and warmth, and then, having lost their elasticity, they seem to “flow” down in a pleasant languor. Focus on the corners of your lips.

Imagine how your lips begin to move slightly to the sides, forming a light smile. Do not exert any muscle effort. You will feel your lips stretching into a barely noticeable smile, and a feeling of incipient joy will appear throughout your body. Try to do this exercise every day until the state of “Buddha’s smile” becomes familiar to you.

A step forward is a beast, a step back is a man

This exercise is especially useful for shy people who are ashamed of their anger and ashamed of its manifestation. Take a step forward, causing wild rage in yourself, feel the readiness to destroy everything in your path. Then take a step back, performing the “Buddha smile” and returning to a state of absolute calm.

Again, take a step forward, transforming into an angry beast, and a step back, returning to the state of a person. Stepping forward, reinforce your rage with screams, you can swear or clench your jaw forcefully. When taking a step back, it is very important to catch the moment of relaxation, paying attention to the muscles.

This exercise requires a lot of emotional investment. Stop as soon as you feel tired. By doing it regularly, you will see that your steps will become faster and faster, and you will learn to easily move from rage to complete calm.

Remember: these techniques and exercises will help to temporarily relieve aggression and get rid of anger, but will not eliminate the original cause of their occurrence. Contact a specialist for qualified assistance. Take care of yourself!