We all want to be happy, to experience joy. But this does not mean that life will always be cloudless. If a person is alive, sadness will inevitably come his way. And the more he loves life, the deeper his feelings for other people, the harder these moments turn out to be for him. There is sadness that comes and leaves a person without lingering. Sometimes suffering is caused by reasons that cannot be forgotten for the rest of your life. For example, in adolescence, parting with your first love can be very acute and painful.
But, after several months or years, it is usually remembered with a smile. Such memories are more like a slight sadness for a past childhood. However, for example, losing a child is a loss that remains until the end of days. The methods of working with different types of mental anguish differ from each other. What to do if your soul is very heavy? How can we relate to our state of mind in different situations?
Bereavement: Accepting Your Feelings
Melancholy always remains melancholy. You cannot get rid of it by simply trying to rationalize what is happening. When your heart is heavy and you want to cry, you can’t hide it. However, even if a person is in a state of deep sadness, this does not mean that he is prohibited from experiencing joy. In fact, sadness comes in order to be accepted - and even while experiencing this feeling, it is possible to experience a more meaningful feeling of joy. Not momentary pleasure or laughter, but a deeper sense of gratitude for life.
Instead of running from sadness or trying to disguise it, it is better to listen to this feeling and accept it. Longing and sadness mean that life once provided you with a gift; and now, having lost it, you understand how valuable it was, how worth it was to be part of your existence for some time. It could be a relationship with another person, or a living being that was important to you, or anything else - this gift was so precious that in its absence a deep sadness is born in the soul. Moreover, it was provided to you in a world where no one has any guarantees about their present and future.
Imagine a world without such gifts. Every human life would then be a complete tragedy. “It is better to lose love than not to burn with love at all,” you will probably agree with this Shakespearean quote.
All things in our world, including sadness, have a dual nature. The philosophers of antiquity knew about this. Make sure you see more than just the dark side of your feelings. For the gift that fate has given you, you should thank it.
If sadness occurs for other reasons
But often the state of sadness arises for other reasons related to certain events. Sometimes it happens that it is not clear why exactly your soul is heavy. This happens in two cases: either when a person cannot independently determine what exactly causes melancholy and sadness, or when so many problems accumulate in life that it becomes impossible to identify the true cause.
In both cases, you can use an approach that allows you to gradually solve the existing difficulties. For example, you may be overwhelmed by the overwhelming amount of work that needs to be completed within a certain time frame; due to real or imaginary shortcomings of your figure; due to a recent job loss or separation from a significant other.
If it is impossible to determine which of these factors caused depression, you need to gradually begin to work on all these areas: go to the gym, finally start doing work, post your resume on the Internet (or a profile on a dating site).
Of course, this approach will seem obvious. But it’s not so easy to take concrete steps in reality, when your soul is very heavy and the future seems hopeless. If a person manages to overcome himself and begin to work on at least some problems, this will already help to alleviate his condition.
What if the sadness doesn't go away quickly?
If sadness has settled in your soul, it is not easy to cope with this condition, even as an adult and morally mature person. Each of us periodically craves attention from others, care and support. Especially if the state of melancholy has settled in the heart for a long time. Therefore, if you have friends or acquaintances who can support you, do not neglect this support. If this is not possible, then you will have to take on this role yourself. Unfortunately, many adults - especially residents of megacities - even with a vibrant social life, can find themselves completely alone.
Of course, in this case it is also necessary to treat your feelings with understanding. Try, if possible, to treat your “inner child” as carefully as possible, as psychologists sometimes conventionally designate the emotional component. There are a few simple techniques you can try to do this.
- First, think about those people in whose presence you felt protected. This could be parents, grandparents. Look at yourself through their loving eyes. Feel the warmth emanating from them. Feel their love, which is not dependent on your achievements or mistakes you have made - it truly is unconditional. Ask yourself a question: do they want (or would they like, if they are no longer alive) for their child or grandchild to suffer like this now?
- Secondly, in order to make up for the lack of emotional energy, it would be useful to turn to your higher “I”. You can also find a lot of useful information about this concept. Let's say briefly - the higher “I” is a kind of ideal of a person, the model that he, consciously or unconsciously, strives to become. This is an imaginary copy of a person who already has all the qualities and skills necessary for a successful and happy life. Sometimes a parallel is drawn between the higher self and a person’s guardian angel in the Christian tradition. In moments of difficulty and despair, remember this ideal.
To reconnect with him and get the energy you need, swipe. Sit in a comfortable position, relax. Imagine the higher “I” - yourself, who managed to overcome all the difficulties and develop the necessary volitional and emotional qualities. Feel how strong this person is, how many wonderful talents he has. Then imagine yourself connecting with this copy, becoming one with it.
- The third technique will help calm the inner child. No matter how old a person is - thirty or fifty - there will always be a small child living inside him, still demanding love and attention. To give it the heat it needs, you can do the following. Make a bundle out of any clothes you own so that it is the size of a baby in diapers. Take him in your arms. Now clearly imagine that you have a real child in your arms. This child is you. Visualize the baby's face clearly. Then tell your child how much you love him. Reassure him that you will never leave him. Then you can play with him, or continue to lull him to sleep.
Sometimes the best way out, when your heart is very heavy, can be to contact a specialist. In our country, unfortunately, working with a psychologist is not yet a common enough way to help yourself. Often, not without reason, people do not want to trust psychologists. After all, many of them tend to evaluate people in a stereotyped way, assigning them to one category or another and not paying due attention to the individual characteristics of the situation. Therefore, it may take time to find “your” psychologist with the proper experience and good professional intuition.
However, in the future these efforts will pay off handsomely. After all, difficulties, including psychological ones, are not resolved on their own. And knowledge of everyday psychology is of very little practical use - otherwise everyone who believes that they will “solve their problems themselves” would have long been successful and happy.
In any case, anyone who experiences sadness should treat themselves and their feelings with due patience. Accept help from loved ones and friends. Don't forget to praise yourself even for things that may seem insignificant or taken for granted. This will help bring about speedy emotional and spiritual healing.
“Without sorrow there is no salvation, but the Kingdom of Heaven awaits those who endure.”
Venerable Seraphim of Sarov
Depression, loneliness, detachment from the world...
How scary these words are when your soul hurts. Of course, I would like to wish everyone that their hearts will always be bright, that joy will always live in them. But there is no earthly life without pain. Many of us have had or will have moments when we feel bad and want to cry; when you don’t want to see anyone, you don’t want to talk to anyone; when there is no desire to eat or move. It seems that I would lie there for years and wait until my soul hurts and my heart wants to rejoice again. But, as a rule, in life all problems fall on a person and turn into a big snowball. Possible causes of depression: loss of a loved one, troubles at work, lack of variety, loneliness, a premonition of something bad, sad memories, loss of the meaning of life, unrequited love, failures, self-doubt, dissatisfaction with oneself, quarrels, misunderstanding of loved ones, complexes, rumors , lies, “black streak”, betrayal.
What to do when you feel bad and want to cry?
What to do when you feel bad and want to cry? Maybe cry? Yes, this is a great option. It’s a pity that it’s short-term, and after it your head hurts.
Here are a few more ways that may help when you feel bad and want to cry:
- Start correcting mistakes (if we are talking about them at all, if there is something to correct).
- Organize a noisy, fun celebration.
- Workout.
- Allow yourself to sleep as much as you want.
- Review your diet. Start eating more dark chocolate, cheese, coffee, bananas, oranges.
- Relax in a bathhouse, massage, spa, etc.
- Go on a trip.
- Do meditation.
- Seek help from a doctor or psychologist.
- Immerse yourself in difficult work.
- Walk more and relax in nature.
- Start a renovation.
- Go shopping.
- Do charity work.
Personally, being an Orthodox person, I advise you to confess and receive communion. Priests call depression the cry of the soul about its ill-being. You should not fall into the sin called “despondency.”
What to do when you feel bad and want to cry, everyone can decide for themselves. The main thing is to do something. Of course, time heals any wounds. But it is precisely that moment when mental pain pours over the edge that you also need to be able to experience correctly.
What not to do when you feel bad and want to cry:
- Tirelessly analyze your condition, constantly replay traumatic events in your head.
- Ask yourself questions: “Why do I need this?”, “Why did this happen to me?” If you really can’t ask questions, then it’s better to think: “Why (for what purpose) were the tests sent?”
- Blame yourself or someone else.
- Develop a plan for self-destruction.
Depression is dangerous in all its forms. Remember this. I recommend Sinelnikov’s book “Love your illness.”
Yes, it is difficult (or even impossible) to give recommendations on the topic “What to do when you feel bad at heart and want to cry” in one article. I just want to ask you to accept all trials with gratitude. They make us stronger. Or I really want to believe it.
What do you do when you feel bad and want to cry?
What to do when everything is good, but your soul is bad?.. Agree, you often hear this question today from loved ones, friends, even in a conversation with a stranger.
In the modern world, the need for a sincere conversation has grown so much that people open up to a random passer-by without thinking. And you can often hear that everything is going well in the family, at work, at home, but in my soul it’s so dreary that at least... What could be the reason?
Human psychology is designed in such a way that noticing the good is much more difficult than stewing in your own juice of complaints, bad mood and negative thoughts. Please note that the above is subjective and exists only in the inner world of a person, where he is his own master. Whereas the events that are happening: a pleasant wife, healthy children, success at work are objective things that you see with your own eyes, but for some reason you still don’t appreciate. “Why are you bothering with your “everything is fine”? I know it myself! And at least the howl of a wolf in my soul! It’s squashing like hell!” I would like to note one feature - in the negative verbal flow there will be no questions “what should I do? how to get out? A person simply walks in a circle, sucking away his sadness over and over again. It seems that he even enjoys this activity. Still would:
- a good way to attract attention,
- raise the importance of your person, two,
- hide from problems, three,
- do not talk about matters that require his active participation and his own decisions, four,
- searching for the causes of your troubles outside: in circumstances, people, five,
- if someone says that there is no benefit or benefit for him in his own whining, do not believe it. Eat! The only question is to find it.
When everything is good, but your soul is bad, this is often said by those who have no real problems. They allow themselves to be melancholy. True, this usually does not last long... after all, thoughts are material. And as soon as life strikes properly in a vulnerable place, the desire to live, to do something, and, most importantly, to return to that state when, as it seemed to me, everything was bad! But you can’t unwind events - either change the point of view in your head in time, or deal with the consequences.
What else is the reason for “everything is good, but my soul is bad”
besides an advantageous position? A person is stuck in a past, morally or physically painful event. If the incident continues to torment him, it means:
- he is unable to cope with it on his own,
- or there is something especially valuable there... Ask, how can pain be valuable? Some people see the meaning of life in suffering. Some people try to prolong their relationship with a person through their experiences, even if only mentally; others through pain received long-awaited care, pity and love - can you really part with someone like that?.. Everyone has their own benefits. But again, it depends on how you prioritize. What will be more significant - a real calm life or a stormy pool of memories?
You can object that very often the state of “everything is good, but my soul is bad” haunts for no reason. Are you sure? Or, in fact, there is no desire to find a reason? You know, what’s amazing is that a person is ready to say that “I feel bad, my soul is heavy” endlessly, but as soon as you bring him to a possible specific source of what is happening, he is ready to escape!..
Another probable reason for “everything seems to be fine, but my soul is bad” is the ancient desire to attract trouble, in popular words “so that life doesn’t seem like raspberries.” Why not raspberries?! What is dangerous about when everything in life comes with ease, joy and splendor? Humanity has survived for many centuries in the struggle: with nature, disasters, and with its own kind. Maybe that’s why, when there is complete calm, there comes a feeling of “something is wrong... well, everything can’t be fine.” We need resistance, struggle, no matter what, the main thing is the struggle - for justice, goodness, honesty, for raising children, ecology, for truth!.. This is the pulse of life, this is what it means to feel alive and significant! Eternal polarities between which the restless soul rushes...
You ask, how can it be different? Then try to find the opposite of the state of creating, enjoying what you love, loving, painting, writing, planting a forest, growing future crops, baking delicious pies. Notice the difference - the result in the above will be something tangible that can be touched, an object - a cake, trees, bread from grown grain, a painting, a book. And what is the final point of the struggle - to satisfy your “ego”?..
What to do when everything is good in life, but bad in your soul?
- the key word is do. Complaining and whining is encapsulated energy, immovable - “I complain because I feel bad ↔ I feel lousy, that’s why I complain.” And any energy is a flow that must be allowed to flow. Without hesitation, do something, without looking at the bad mood and stupid thoughts about universal sadness: make someone coffee, put the apartment in order, cook something delicious, remember who you promised what and do it, do work, even if you don’t like it, now The point is not this - but in the process of pulling yourself out from the inside. There is a magical Chinese proverb: “When you wash a cup, think about the cup” - think about what you do. Try it - it works flawlessly.
- understand why you need the “everything is very bad” state? Don't be silly, admit it.)
- of the psychological methods that really help here - I offer techniques for getting rid of negative emotions:, and
We have already written about depression and apathy, but what to do when you just feel bad at heart, and you seem to understand that it will pass, but you want to somehow speed up the process? First of all, accept this state, do not try to reject it - absolutely all people are susceptible to blues, to a greater or lesser extent. This is due to the change of seasons, lack of sunlight, and hormonal changes in the body. In order to quickly return to a good mood, use our tips on what to do when you feel bad.
1) Eat positive! The first thing you need to do in the fight against the blues is to reorganize your diet by adding foods that improve your mood. These include milk, tomatoes, fish, blueberries, broccoli, red peppers, bananas, cottage cheese, whole grain flour products, all kinds of cereals and almonds, as well as citrus fruits. Don't forget about the visual component of nutrition - when food looks beautiful, your mood and appetite increase on their own. It will be great if you get excited about cooking a new dish, such as almond and banana curd pie. Inhaling the wonderful aromas in the kitchen and enjoying the results of your labors (preferably not alone), you will quickly forget about all your worries.
2) "Injections" of joy. Imagine that your feeling of “bad soul” is a disease that is perfectly treatable, and follow the prescription for the most positive films, books, TV series and magazines that you can find. Re-watch your favorite comedies, films about love, in which a happy ending always happens, re-read positive books, in general, remember everything that has ever made you laugh, touched you and lifted your spirits, and take it in heavy doses!
3) Surround yourself with care. Very often, a depressed state is a sign of fatigue, thus your body reminds its owner that it is not a machine and requires rest, care and affection. Give it to him immediately! Go for a massage, take a fragrant bath, stop stressing out at home, let someone else cook for a few days, for example, or go with the whole family to eat at a public catering. You definitely need to reduce your stress level, and to do this, forget about problems and worries for a while, and focus on your loved one. The sooner you get out of your current state, the sooner you can return to your life with its sorrows and joys.
4) Get rid of the old. There are two wonderful methods available to everyone for those who don’t know what to do when they feel bad. One of them is a general cleaning of your archives and mezzanines. No, we don’t force you to wash the windows and vacuum the far corners: your task is to get rid of all the unnecessary old trash that completely unreasonably takes up space in the apartment, not letting new positive energy into it. Haven't used the item in the last six months? This means that you don’t need it in principle. Donate and throw away everything: old notebooks, clothes, broken furniture, unnecessary books and home decoration. Notice how much easier it becomes to breathe with each discarded bag or box - of course, because you are getting rid of ballast, the burden of the past that does not allow you to move forward.
5) Create something new. The second practical technique, which is a logical continuation of the first, is creation. Paint the sun or flowers on the wall, repaint (repaint) the wallpaper in a bright color, liven up the room in which you spend the most time with flowers, fabrics, something new. This will help breathe new energy into you, so that your soul becomes light and joyful.