Sometimes it seems that the world is divided into two parts. On the one hand, success, health, material wealth, and on the other, failures, anxieties, illnesses, conflicts and lack of money. What to do if difficult times arise and life seems very difficult? How to survive difficulties in life, how to overcome unpleasant events?
How to survive failure
Every person has hard times. Some people cope with them more easily; for others, failures become an insurmountable burden in life. What's the secret? Why do some people cope with life's difficulties? Practicing psychologist Carol Morgan has developed several rules on how to survive failure.
We accept the situation
Our experiences only happen if we refuse to accept reality. If something can be changed, then action must be taken. But if nothing can be done, then there are two options. The first is to accept the situation and overcome the negativity. The second is to savor your failures and suffer.
There is no definition of "failure"
Carol advises eliminating the words “failure”, “failure”, “I’m unlucky again” from your vocabulary. It is worth remembering that all great people faced failure before their success. They didn't give up and learned from their mistakes.
What failure looks like in our eyes
It all depends on the point of view; if trouble is a global problem, then it will fill all emotions and thoughts with negativity. Sometimes it is useful to think that a situation is a lesson and you can benefit from it.
In most situations, external reality is our internal program. We want to think that circumstances change us. But in fact, they often appear because of our attitude. How to survive troubles? You can start changing yourself to change the situation.
If it doesn't work out now, then the best is on the way.
Carol Morgan says that often good things happen after something goes wrong. For example, getting fired from your job seems like a disaster. But over time, it turns out that this event helped me find my calling. Morgan recommends trusting that everything is as it should be.
Let go of desires
How to survive failure? Do not attach great importance to your desires. Many people, not getting what they wanted, fall into negativity. It is worth trying to be happy regardless of getting what you want.
Let us experience joy
Morgan says he knows a lot of people who literally forbid themselves to have fun. They are very dependent on their problems, internal chaos, that they cannot understand how to cope with difficulties. The psychologist advises focusing your attention not on difficulties, but on joys.
Avoid comparison
Yes, let someone have better times now, but why not look at those who are worse off than you? Many people live in a state of poverty, disease, and hunger. What great thing do you have that you can be proud of? What is worth living for in order to survive a difficult period in life?
I'm not a victim
We ourselves create the image of a victim and an unhappy person in our thoughts. It is worth taking personal responsibility, going through difficulties, coping with your thoughts and actions. The psychologist recommends giving up the image of a victim and becoming a winner.
Everything will change
How to survive difficult times? It seems to us that there is no way out of their difficult situation. But there will be changes, nothing lasts forever, you need to give up the habit of thinking that everything will remain this way forever.
Carol Morgan advises believing that miracles are possible. You need to believe that happy events will happen soon. How to overcome difficulties in life? Sometimes you just have to believe in miracles.
How to deal with problems
Problems do not allow you to live in peace, there is no strength left, the difficult period has dragged on. How to survive problems? Recommendations:
- We make lists. We describe all the difficulties point by point. When information is transferred to paper, the head is freed. We arrange them in order of importance. What needs a quick solution? What can be left to chance? What situations can we let go of? As a result, there won't be many problems left. We pay attention to the most important ones and develop a solution plan.
- Let's leave the worry behind. How to cope with problems without anxiety? Let us spend 30 minutes a day worrying, during which time we list all the horrors of what could happen. We spend the rest of our time searching for a solution.
- There is no need to blame anyone for your troubles. Only we ourselves are responsible for our lives. Negativity, anger and envy towards other people will only slow down the way out of a difficult situation.
- Letting go of the past. We try to live here and now. No need to hold grudges. Look for patterns of events in the past. The situation has already happened, no one knows how life would have turned out, whether it would have become more difficult or easier for you.
Video: speech by Viktor Frankl, a psychologist and concentration camp survivor. He managed to take this terrible experience as the basis for his scientific research.
Psychologists about life's difficulties
Many classics of psychology wrote about how to cope with problems and get through a life crisis. But the most famous work belongs to Viktor Frankl, it is called “Psychologist in a Concentration Camp.” His life itself is an overcoming; he survived in inhuman conditions. People died before his eyes, they were insulted and humiliated.
What helped Frankl survive? He followed his concept, the psychologist assures that in difficult conditions it is not those who have a healthy body who survive, but only those who have a strong spirit. His books and concept of perseverance have helped millions of people around the world find meaning in life.
How to deal with failures? Grow spiritually, don’t give up, look for the meaning of life and believe in the best.
Marina NikitinaIt is difficult to find a person who does not know what the difficulties of life are. But there are millions of people in the world who do not know how to overcome these difficulties. They lie to themselves, denying the existence of difficulties, give up, stopping any attempts to solve problems or understand them. What does this lead to? Nothing positive. A person falls into prolonged depression or develops nervous and mental illnesses.
If you are a strong-willed person, accustomed to facing the truth, then this information will not be useful to you. If you don’t have the courage to solve problems, work on yourself from today, because you have already taken a small step in this direction - you have decided to learn how to overcome difficulties.
Diagnosis of problems
To fight the enemy you need to know him by sight. Therefore, first we will determine the presence of difficulties and see which category they belong to. Life difficulties:
Serious problems from outside (loss of the most expensive property, a house burned down, a large sum of money was stolen, death of a loved one, incurable illness).
Difficulties of moderate complexity (you were kicked out of work, your wife is sick, you have no means of subsistence).
Difficulties in self-identification, psychological problems (feelings of inferiority or worthlessness, depression, panic).
Domestic difficulties (tired of cleaning, cooking, quarreling with my husband because of his carelessness, plumbing is out of order, not enough money, the phone is broken, difficulties in family life).
The problems described in the first two points are not necessarily the most difficult. The third type of problems - psychological - can be of any complexity. The subtle world called “psyche” is difficult to analyze, so to deal with this kind of problem, you have to try. Everyday difficulties from the last category are only at first glance inferior in complexity to the previous ones; they drag you into a pool of sadness, fear, sluggish, destructive hatred of yourself and the rest of the world. Therefore, any of the problems is serious, especially for the one who has it.
Making a strong-willed decision to fight
Giving a clear name is mandatory, because vague complaints like “I feel bad, my soul hurts, it’s hard, and I don’t know why” and “cure” are impossible.
After recognizing the problem, you already have a formulation. It’s not always easy to take even this step, but don’t think about it, do it in order, so to speak, in small steps. In this way you will go through the entire long, albeit difficult, path. Don't forget: “Great things start small.”
After looking your difficulty in the eye, the problem will already decrease in size. Now it will not pulsate in your exhausted brain every day or seem like a black bottomless abyss. No, after the bold step of identifying the problem, you have already seen your enemy and know its size. It turns out that this is not a bottomless abyss, although it is very deep in some particularly serious cases.
How often does it happen that a person knows a problem that has been bothering him for a long time, but does not want to fight, he is disappointed in life, does not believe in himself and walks around like a psychological corpse - Homo Sapiens lives, eats, breathes, but has lost interest in anything , life only by the fact of its existence is disgusting. What can I recommend?
Strange as it may sound, if it seems to you that the end has come for the person you previously saw in the mirror, this is good because there is nothing to lose in such a situation. All that remains is to make the decision to fight, to solve problems.
You may ask, what to do if it is completely unclear which direction to move? Should you do something even if you are not sure about the right path? Of course yes. Here's an example. Imagine that there is a small wooden box in front of you. It is filled with balls of the same size, but of different colors: first, a handful of black balls are poured, and the same amount of white balls is poured on top. The box is closed.
Now we draw parallels: one of the black balls is you. The ball lies at the bottom of the box, there are black balls around, there is also a large layer of balls on top and the situation seems completely hopeless, since there is no way to get up and the ways to solve the problem are unknown.
Now imagine that you pick up the box and start shaking it. Yes, at first glance you are doing things at random. You don’t know what’s going on inside, you know one thing - when you shake the box, at least something happens inside. Now let’s reveal the cards: in the process of such shaking, the balls in the box begin to mix. It happens chaotically, but everyone has heard the theory of probability.
So, according to this theory, the balls in the box will eventually return to their initial position with almost zero probability. So to do at least something is in a decadent mood. And then, you see, while shaking, you will understand in which direction you need to tilt the box and your ball will be pushed up by other balls.
Difficulties in a person's life
Imagine life without difficulties. It seemed like it could be better. You will be surprised, but it is the presence of difficulties that shows us how good life can be, gives us food for thought, and makes us, like the balls from the example above, move. If difficulties in a person’s life disappear, then there will be nothing to compare the rest of the events with; no one will even imagine what difficulties are, or what joyful events are. There won’t be any, since everything will be painfully the same.
To maintain vitality, to maintain self-control, you must always remember what was written on the ring of King Solomon. It said, “This too shall pass.” When he had, he looked at this inscription and calmed down, because there was an instruction that everything would pass. But he was in no hurry to rejoice too much, so as not to be upset later, because even in this case he looked at the inscription and was convinced that this too would pass, that everything in the world passes and passes.
Ways to overcome life's difficulties
Overcoming the difficulties of life is organized in many different ways. First way: follow the example of King Solomon. You can actually have your ring engraved in a jewelry store and always wear it on your finger. Another way to look at this wise expression is to make a beautiful sign that will hang in a prominent place in your home.
Let in your head not a picture of a sad development of events for you, but this useful phrase. In the meantime, you will begin to take any actions, at least to distract attention, then you will understand what to do to directly solve the problem.
Don’t be afraid to think about your enemy - about the problem that poisons your existence. It is better to take courage and analyze whether the grief is as great as its tortured brain imagines. Analyze this. Ask yourself: “Yes, I have a problem. And what follows from this? What are the consequences of an unresolved problem?” You need to present honestly: choose not only negative consequences, but also a positive outcome of events. After all, you must clearly understand that there are always several possible outcomes, and excluding positive ones, you leave yourself no chance to change anything.
Remember that you need to be sure to break the repetitive cycle of negative thinking. This is difficult because thinking patterns (the paths along which thoughts travel through the neurons of the brain) are already like well-trodden paths: the more they are followed, the larger they become. It’s already difficult to think differently, but you do it. All events in life move after your thoughts. That is, first you give an assessment of the event in your head, painting it in some color, and only then through the prism of your assessment you look at everything else. Throw away black colors from your palette of thoughts at least for a while. Any event for the universe has no emotional coloring, neither good nor bad. So for one person an event will be bad, but for another it will be good. Only people evaluate events, only you decide whether you will learn a lesson from what is happening or whether it will crush you with your own permission.
If your problem came from outside, for example, a loved one died or you were left homeless, then the positive thinking techniques described above will come to your aid. If the problem concerns your psyche and worldview, the “breaking the pattern” technique will help. The mechanism of the passage of thoughts (nerve impulses) through the neurons of the brain has already been described above. It is much easier for a lazy brain to let its thoughts follow already known paths - patterns of behavior. You will have to make a strong-willed effort to “pave” a new path.
In reality this method looks like this. Experiment with any thought (you don’t have to immediately think about the problem that’s bothering you). For this exercise, any statement that you don’t doubt at all and that is already firmly stuck in your brain is suitable. Usually it is from such thoughts and behavioral reactions that a pattern is formed.
Next, try to doubt this statement. This will be difficult to do, because it has already been established many years ago and it seems that there can be no other opinion. When you try to convince yourself that things that have been familiar for a long time may not be at all what they seem, you will feel a kind of resistance. It’s like cutting a path for yourself in the impenetrable jungle with a machete, sweating despite the fact that nearby there is a path already cut through the thickets.
If you work on yourself so regularly, you will definitely pave new paths. It cannot be otherwise, this is exactly how you once formed ideas about the world that you are now guided by, without subjecting them to analysis. But it is precisely for a conscious life, and not a semi-automatic one, that we are given the opportunity to become aware of ourselves, along with which we need to be responsible for our thoughts and actions.
There is another plus: when you look for new variations (logical connections), new connections are formed among billions of neurons in the brain, even if such thoughts seem fantastic at first - it doesn’t matter, the main thing is to cover the brain with a network of connections. Then one day a brilliant idea or an amazing solution to a problem will come to you, which you could not even think of before, because the overwhelming number of neurons are now connected to any of them, even a distant neuron (although the word “remote” does not fit the description of instantaneous neural connections ).
“If you cannot change your circumstances, change your attitude towards them” - stick to this rule.
23 March 2014, 15:41█ One day, a daughter, a young woman, came to her father and said sadly:- Dad, I’m so tired of everything, I have constant difficulties at work and in my personal life, I just don’t have the strength anymore... How to cope with all this?
█
█
Failure doesn't mean I'm a failure;It means that success is yet to come.Failure does not mean that I have achieved nothing;It means I learned something.
Sit back, relax. Turn to your breath, trust it without trying to control it. We have some difficult issues to address, and it's important that you feel comfortable...
█ █ Pay attention to any occasion (even a very minor one) that will allow you to feel pleasure. Use affirmative sentences.
█
█
They come when you have lost your way so much that the light at the end of the tunnel has become barely visible.
█
█
Once upon a time there lived a Little Soul who once said to God:- I know who I am!
█ █ I spoke to my inner lover and asked: why such a rush? After all, we feel that there is some spiritual force that loves birds, animals and insects.
█ █ One day a small gap appeared in the cocoon, and a person passing by stood for long hours and watched a butterfly try to exit through this small gap. A lot of time passed, the butterfly seemed to give up its efforts, and the gap remained just as small.
█
█
How did I create this situation? - you ask from the position of the owner. “I take responsibility for the situation I created.”
█
█
When we give ourselves a second chance and get a little help, very often things work out for us!
█
█
A distinctive feature of the happiest people is the ability... to overcome the most serious obstacles.And happy people are fired from their jobs, they also go broke, get sick and become depressed!Like everyone else, they have many problems.But they have the mental strength to concentrate not on problems, but on solving them.
█ █ “WHY me?” "Why now?"“WHY did she leave me out in the cold?”This question can drive anyone crazy.
BOOKS ABOUT DIFFICULTIES:
██
██ A book in the dystopian genre from a modern writer. Interesting)In the world where the main character, Celestina North, lives, there are certain rules, for violating which a person can receive a stigma.For a wrong decision - a stigma on the temple.For lies - on the tongue.For attempting to rob society - on the right palm.For treason against the Tribunal - Brand on the chest, where the heart is.For not keeping up with society - on the sole of the right foot.Therefore, if a person does not want to be branded, then he should lead a decent lifestyle, watch his appearance and speech, not contradict the Tribunal, because he is the law, in general, he should be ideal in everything...QUOTES ABOUT DIFFICULTIES:
If you feel bad or difficult, find someone who is worse and more difficult than you and help him.
If your life is a struggle with a headwind, then stop this pointless activity and use the time to talk with yourself, think about your own life. Then you may be surprised to find that the wind has changed direction.
Luule Viilma
I don't like difficulties...
I love candy!
Under no circumstances should you lose hope. The feeling of despair is the true cause of failure. Remember: you can overcome any difficulty. Be calm even when you find yourself in a difficult and confusing situation: it will have little effect on you if your mind is calm. On the contrary, if the mind allows you to be angry, then you will lose peace, even if the world around you is serene and comfortable.
If you fall, try to pick up something from the floor while you are lying down.
Scottish proverb
Difficulty is a good thing. When everything is comfortable, easy - well, boring, because you want it even softer, and you feel that if you don’t touch you at all, you can no longer do anything at all. Therefore, we must perceive difficulties as medicine, as a saving work, as a blessing. Petr Mamonov
From time to time we get into trouble. Do you know why they come? They come to make you aware of the good things you have. It makes life more alive. Accept it.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
Never regret anything: sometimes troubles happen for good, and dreams don’t come true for the better.
Everything has a reason. Everything is done for a purpose, and every failure carries a lesson. I realized that losses - both personal, professional, and even spiritual - can significantly expand the horizons of a person. They lead to inner growth and provide a whole range of spiritual gains. Never regret the past. Treat him better as a good teacher. Robin Sharma
TESTS MAKE US IMPROVE
Many believe that the trials of this life are certainly retribution for past sins. But is metal heated in a forge because he has sinned and must be punished? Isn't this being done to improve the properties of the material?
If you are in a bad mood, if you have been offended or upset, use the power of a smile. Even if no one sees you, try to smile to show yourself that you are above all difficulties. Think that you are invulnerable, immortal, eternal. Give yourself a smile, as you sometimes do when passing a mirror. Even if your smile is a little forced, it will still help. As soon as you smile, you will feel in a better mood. And in a good mood, it will be easier for you to solve your problems.You have no idea how much good a simple smile can do for you and the people around you. When you receive another blow from life, tell yourself: “Everything could have been much worse” - and smile...
Mother Teresa
Turn troubles into strength
conducive to your spiritual development.
If you remember the benefits of problems and apply them to the practice of transforming your thinking, they become desirable for you. From harmful they turn into kind and useful.
Some situations you can handle, while others you have to endure. For example, it doesn’t matter how upset you are that your house is not made of gold, you are still powerless to turn your bricks into gold. No matter how upset you are that the earth is not heaven, you cannot turn the earth into heaven. And there is no point in worrying about such things. No matter how upset you are about your problems or how irritated you are about little things about other people, there is absolutely no reason to worry.
Lama Zopa
I asked for strength - and God sent me trials to strengthen me.
I asked for wisdom - and God sent me problems to puzzle over.
I asked for courage - and God sent me danger.
I asked for love - and God sent the unfortunate ones who need my help.
I asked for blessings - and God gave me opportunities.
I didn't get anything I wanted, but I got everything I needed!
God heard my prayers...
Mother Teresa.
Take a broader look at your troubles. If someone accuses you of something, do not respond with abuse: imagine that this accusation loosens the bonds of your narcissism, and therefore strengthens your ability to care for others.This method is very difficult to use, but if successful it will bring many benefits.
Dalai Lama
Life gives you only those experiences that best contribute to the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know what kind of experience you need? Very simply - the one you are living at the moment.
Eckhart Tolle
The best indicator of the level of consciousness is the ability to calmly relate to life's difficulties.
They pull the unconscious person down, while the conscious person rises more and more.
Eckhart Tolle
When you ask God about your problem, don't give Him instructions, just tell Him about it...
Now I'm contemplating how to survive life's problems and other everyday situations that are common problems. Overthinking is a natural part of life for many people. It usually helps people find ways to solve their problems and makes them ready to overcome life's difficulties and barriers.
There are a wide variety of advantages and disadvantages to being an overthinker. Do you want to know the reasons why those annoying thoughts about problems can't leave you alone? Read on to find out some undeniable reasons why you obsess over your problems and get some tips on how to overcome this habit.
1. Lack of trust.
Lack of trust is the main reason that causes problems for suspicious people. When you doubt what you are doing, you allow uncertainty and fear to take control of you. You never know where your decisions will take you, which is why you should take risks without torturing yourself. When you start making decisions, your confidence will automatically increase. When you are confident and strong, you will overcome all difficulties.
2. Be careful.
I think it's better to make decisions quickly and easily. All you have to do is get rid of the habit of doubting yourself. Revision forces you to look at a situation many times because you have a hunch that you didn't do everything right. Consequently, you will never be happy or satisfied that you made the right choice. Try to be more confident in yourself and your abilities. This will help you be less obsessive about your daily decisions throughout the day.
3. You are constantly restless.
Anxiety is a natural reaction to new and unknown situations. According to various studies, many young people are restless by nature. They often have a hard time imagining how things could go right. Such people attract problems because they prefer to paint scary pictures in their minds. It is advisable to focus on positive thoughts and ideas on how to achieve your goals rather than dwelling on your failures. I believe it is possible to change your personality traits and habits, and I am confident that you are strong enough to overcome anxiety. Do your best to become an optimist and develop a positive outlook on the world.
4. Deliberation.
Sometimes people believe that deliberation can be a kind of protection against trouble. I think overthinking kills your success. There are more benefits from action than from inaction because experience makes you more mature and stronger. Overthinking increases the chance of losing an opportunity because your brain is always thinking about the situation, looking for another solution.
5. You can't relax.
It often turns out that you can't free your head from a problem that you can't stop thinking about. Many sensitive people live in constant tension because they do not know how to relax and replace the chain of negative thoughts with positive ones. I have found the best way for me to distract myself is by exercising or doing yoga. Yoga is the perfect tool to calm your imagination and ease your worries. Just sit on a chair and imagine a place that makes you feel confident, free and satisfied.
6. You want to be perfect.
You should be aware that the costs of being a perfectionist are high. Many people who struggle with perfectionism tend to live with anxiety all the time. Perfectionism forces reflection because perfectionists are always trying to do something better. They may also wake up in the middle of the night thinking about what needs to be done. This lifestyle can easily damage your mental and physical well-being. You must understand that no one is perfect, and it is better to get rid of the habit of complicating everything.
7. You exaggerate your problems.
Exaggerating your problems and constantly analyzing your actions often turns into a bad habit. This habit tends to keep you away from a happy life. It is extremely difficult to break this intoxicating habit, but you should always try to stop overthinking and change those annoying thoughts. You should keep yourself busy with some interesting activity. This will help you overcome suspiciousness.
Thinking is an integral part of your life that will help you achieve your goals and avoid troubles, but you must know the difference between thinking and being suspicious. The tendency to overthink problems can have a negative impact on your health.