Be yourself, look and dress the way you like, set your own rules in life - what could be better? But sometimes it happens that a person simply urgently needs to change himself and his preferences, and in a radical way. How to change beyond recognition? Why is there such a need? We'll talk about this in detail below.
Reasons for wanting to change yourself
There can be a lot of reasons for change, because, as you know, there are so many opinions. People are most often driven to experiment on themselves by the following reasons:
- Love. Especially the first, teenage love, or a strong feeling of attraction to the opposite sex. For the first time in all the years of his life, a person may wake up with the thought: “I want to change beyond recognition, so that my beloved (my beloved) can love me.”
- When a person understands that given the current state of affairs, the way he looks and treats people, he will not achieve anything in life, he decides to make drastic changes.
- The desire to become more popular, to attract attention. Self-centered people are very prone to frequent changes. Of course, they love themselves, but the shell, the appearance in which they find themselves, constantly does not suit them.
- Self-development. A healthy desire to change something in your life, in yourself, arises due to ordinary human curiosity. We all love to learn something new and bring it into our everyday lives.
In addition, there are also psychological factors that push a person to change. Various stressful situations, conflicts and failures can trigger the desire to change. The new image will be perceived by the subconscious as protection from negativity associated with the past.
External changes for men
It is quite difficult for representatives of the stronger half of humanity to change their appearance without the help of a specialist. Below we will consider several ways that are beyond recognition, suitable for men:
- Be active in sports. This is a great opportunity to change not only your lifestyle, but also your appearance. Perhaps many men dream of a beautiful, sculpted body. But achieving such results without physical activity is unrealistic.
- Trim your overgrown beard, mustache, or, conversely, grow it. This greatly changes facial features. Try using colored lenses and radically change your wardrobe.
- Learn to communicate correctly and competently with the opposite sex. which means that in order to get the object of passion into your networks, you need to change the way you communicate.
- Accept yourself as you are. Agreement with your own “I” accelerates the process of both internal and external transformation. When you decide to make changes, be sure to agree on this issue with yourself, analyzing in detail why and for what you are doing it.
Of course, men have fewer options for change. And the most radical method remains plastic surgery. But is it worth resorting to such measures?
Ways of external change for women
All a lady needs to do is visit a beauty salon and she will be transformed beyond belief. How can a girl change beyond recognition? All you need to do is follow simple recommendations:
- Change of wardrobe. Changes in image should be made taking into account the characteristics of the figure. For example, if you have short and full legs, then replacing a maxi skirt with a mini one is not advisable. First, decide which style suits you best. If you previously preferred strict, classic clothes, then for a radical change you can try a sporty or urban style.
- Change of hairstyle. Changing the shape and color of your hair allows you to transform yourself in literally 1.5-2 hours. Were you blonde with long hair? Become a hot brunette with short hair! However, it is worth remembering that frequent hair coloring can lead to hair loss.
- Use of decorative cosmetics. How to change beyond recognition? Apply cosmetics. Correctly applied products can make your face look completely different.
- Weight loss. Do you want dramatic changes? Start with your weight. It is absolutely not necessary to go on a strict diet and exhaust yourself with hunger strikes. It is enough to determine for yourself the number of kilograms that you need to get rid of.
And these are not all the ways to change beyond recognition. Ladies are more inventive in this regard; they can radically change themselves in 1 day, week or month, and without the intervention of specialists.
All changes begin with internal changes. Be sure to discuss with yourself each point that you want to apply to yourself. Representatives of both sexes, before starting to change, should think about what all this is for? If you want to do this for someone or for someone, then ask yourself, will this person be there for you after all the changes? Will you become more successful, more beautiful and more popular? You shouldn’t suddenly change everything in your life because of a fleeting desire - transformation should be gradual and deliberate.
How to change beyond recognition internally? Start with small steps that will gradually change your lifestyle, pace of life, and character.
Set your priorities
Decide what you want most. Create a specific wish list, highlight the most desirable things. There is no need to waste yourself on implementing everyday, everyday plans, for example, such as buying a new washing machine or kitchen stove. Think about the last time you rested, relaxed, and spent time with your family? Start with a vacation, with shared dinners and walks with your family. Lonely people will benefit from communicating with friends and parents and making new acquaintances.
Plan your day correctly. Make a list of the most important tasks for today and cross off items as you complete them - a visual representation helps the subconscious understand that the task has been completed, which means that thoughts about it are no longer appropriate.
Learn what you've always dreamed of
We study throughout our lives, constantly learning something new. But we do not always have the opportunity to obtain the knowledge that is necessary to realize hidden potential. Learn a foreign language, take guitar and piano lessons, try yourself as a singer or designer. Any new role will allow you to open up and change in a short time.
Is it really possible to change beyond recognition in a month due to new skills and knowledge? It all depends on your desire for change, as well as the type of activity that you decide to master. The more complex it is, the longer the process of learning and change will be.
New emotions - new "I"
Travel as often as possible, and not necessarily to foreign countries. Visit every small corner of your homeland - an influx of new emotions is guaranteed to you. Ride a bike, ride through the streets of your hometown, watch the sunrise on the shore of the lake - all this will bring a sea of positive emotions into your life. Make it a rule to smile more often - with a smile, not only you change, but also the world around you.
How to change beyond recognition in a week? Start radiating positivity. Unfortunately, this cannot be achieved in one day if a person is by nature gloomy and does not know how to enjoy life. Special training will help you master this skill.
Remember that your inner “I” is a temple, so do not let any garbage into your subconscious in the form of everyday problems, conflicts, and minor troubles. They destabilize a person’s emotional state, making it difficult to enjoy life.
Repetition and persistence
Be more persistent in your actions, do not give up. Constant repetition, search and eradication of mistakes made allows you to understand how to change beyond recognition. Character can only be changed by identifying the trait in yourself that you want to get rid of as soon as possible, and start working on yourself.
If you decide to change radically, then start by giving up laziness and idleness. Constant control of your thoughts and actions, agreement with your own “I” - this is what will help you overcome the difficulties associated with change.
Live in the moment
What happened to you in the past should fade into the background. Even if past events bring you positive emotions and help you relax, they should still be pushed aside during the change. Remember! The person you were in the past and the person you are now are completely different people.
Concentrate your attention on what is happening at the moment, without thinking about other options for the development of events. While walking, simultaneously fix your gaze on several surrounding objects and people. Immerse yourself in the situation you are in. With constant practice, you will learn to meditate and establish contact with yourself, and also accept reality as it is.
This activity allows you to protect yourself from negativity coming from ourselves and unnecessary anxiety. Accepting reality helps improve a person’s life, helps him change internally, teaches him to love and appreciate what he has.
Perhaps one of the most common and dangerous human misconceptions about a person is the belief that oneself, one’s personality cannot be changed. This faith rests on the conviction that there are qualities, abilities, tastes, habits and shortcomings assigned to us that represent the essence of our personality and cannot be changed. One often hears “Well, that’s the kind of person I am (lazy, without certain abilities, necessary qualities, etc.) I can’t do it any other way and there’s nothing you can do about it.”. Many people think so and carry this belief all their lives.
So is it possible to change your personality? If yes, then how can you change yourself?
Is it possible to change yourself?
Or, indeed, personality is something imperishable and unchangeable, and all the metamorphoses that can occur in it are, so to speak, cosmetic and do not concern its essence. I am sure that you can change yourself and for the better: get rid of personal shortcomings, acquire and develop certain qualities, change your character...
Anyone can, if they want, transform themselves beyond recognition: overcome “natural” cowardice and shyness, becoming strong and confident, moderate their tendency to worry and worry, gaining strong nerves and equanimity. Yesterday's timid and downtrodden young man can become a sociable and young man simply by making some effort.
And it would be a mistake to believe that timidity and isolation are in this young man’s blood and that he is “naturally” tense and not adapted to communication. This mistake, this misconception is not harmless, from a practical point of view, of a nature, such as the misconception that Singapore is the capital of Africa (of course, provided that you do not take the final exams in geography at the institute, and if you fail, you will not A lot of unforgettable impressions await you in the vast expanses of our homeland as part of an army unit).
This false belief is much more dangerous than the harmless geographical one, because, believing that you cannot change yourself, you give up, are afraid to make efforts to work on yourself and live with your shortcomings, which prevent you from living and poison the lives of those around you of people.
Why am I so sure that Is it possible to change yourself?
Firstly, the human species is naturally equipped with a strong adaptive potential, the ability to change, adapting to the conditions of the surrounding reality. This makes a person flexible and makes it possible to change either under external influence or by controlling conscious efforts of the will from the inside, commensurating this effort with the internal need to change the personality. (in the context of this resource, we are interested in the latter, namely conscious management of how we will change and whether we will change at all. We ourselves want to decide what we should become? Right?)
Secondly, there are many examples of how people changed either for the worse or for the better. One such example is myself, the author of these lines. By overcoming internal resistance, I managed to become more self-confident, disciplined, organized and sociable.
This has manifested itself in an improvement in my quality of life and the realization of significant life achievements. But before, I also considered laziness, a tendency to worry and depression, cowardice, shyness, the inability to control oneself and control one’s feelings as my primordially enduring qualities and did not believe in the possibility of changing them.
It seemed to me that I am who I am and will remain so. Reality showed that I was wrong: I coped with depression and anxiety and panic attacks without any pills or treatment, my mathematical abilities improved, (I previously thought that I had none at all), even my musical tastes changed (not just changed, but expanded very much) and much more, this list can be continued for a very long time.
The value of fighting with yourself
So I will insist that the reader of these lines, instead of ruining himself by believing in the immutability of his personality, still takes it and tries to work on himself and change. Even if he fails to become what he wants, his efforts will still be rewarded. Because struggling and trying to cope with the internal resistance that will definitely arise along the way if you want to change yourself always pays off!
By acting in spite of resistance, against your weaknesses and ingrained habits, you train your will and strengthen your character. The degree of control over your feelings increases and a sober understanding of what is happening inside you and what guides you comes!
And exactly the opposite. An individual who is accustomed to viewing himself as a set of unchangeable characteristics, habits, shortcomings and pathologies is always led by his character and weaknesses. He remains as he is.
His will is not tempered in the fight against feelings; he is controlled by his Ego, fears and complexes. Every day he capitulates to them: his will weakens, and his true essence begins to fade behind the abundance of shortcomings and habits.
Internal struggle and resistance and their value are the core of my system of self-development and self-improvement. The value of these things is not only of an instrumental nature (i.e., not necessarily only a means to achieve a certain goal: the fight against complexes in order to defeat them), but also carry great value in themselves. I will write about this more than once in more detail.
Can personality change?
You must understand that your true personality is not a collection of habits, upbringing and childhood traumas. All this is just tinsel and habits of the mind and feelings!. This is a profit, i.e. appeared as you grew and will also disappear as soon as you want it: after all, all this is not written in your genes. Personality is a dynamic concept, constantly changing, and not something predetermined forever!
Well, of course, there are some natural limitations, innate inclinations, etc. Something that you have no influence on, and I understand that very well. At the same time, I see a general need to exaggerate the number of personality factors that supposedly cannot be influenced.
What is simply an acquired shortcoming, manifested as a result of laziness and reluctance to do something, is mistakenly perceived by many as a natural and once and for all defined personality trait! Perhaps this is just a psychological trick designed to relieve a person of responsibility for his character.
This is the same blatant misconception as “innate illiteracy”! (well, think about how it can be innate? We are all born without knowledge of language, our first words are the simplest syllables “MOM” “DAD”) In fact, there are many properties of our being that we fundamentally cannot influence due to natural, There are far fewer natural restrictions than we are all accustomed to believing.
And you will see this for yourself when, as a result of your self-development, you experience many positive personal metamorphoses that will affect those qualities of yours that you previously considered ingrained in you forever.
My experience of personal metamorphoses
I myself managed to overcome many internal negative character traits that bothered me since childhood and would continue to bother me and ruin my life (and I was a very weak and sickly child, and then a young man and had many shortcomings (and still have them, but much less)). It’s a pity that I didn’t pay attention to them even then and didn’t start working on myself, gaining confidence that I was able to cope with it.
And practice only confirmed my confidence, giving me valuable results both in terms of developing my internal potential and in the context of improving factors of external comfort and order (relationships with people, financial situation, life achievements, etc.), as a reflection of personality changes.
Usually those who say “I am such a person and will remain that way” have never tried to do something with themselves and change for the better. Then how do they know that nothing can be done?
How to change yourself? This is a big question and almost all materials on this site will be devoted to this. After all, self-development and self-improvement imply changing oneself and this is always the case. Therefore, this article is simply an attempt to destroy the established misconception and call for action and perhaps instill hope in someone that you can change yourself. And you can find specific recommendations now and later as they are published on the pages of this site - the topic is very broad.
Is it unnatural to change for the better?
Once I ran into such an objection. “Like, yes, you can change yourself, but why do it? Isn't this unnatural? You are who you are, why show violence against a person?”
I asked counter questions: “Well, what do you think shaped your personality, what factors influenced its formation? Why are you the way you are now? It must be due to upbringing, parents, social circle and some innate parameters (heredity, natural predispositions, etc.).
Basically, all these factors are random, those that you could not influence. After all, parents are not chosen and social circles are not always chosen either. Not to mention heredity and genes. It turns out that you consider the development of you as a person under the influence of external, arbitrary factors that do not greatly depend on your will to be natural.
And attempts to consciously influence your character and habits, based on an understanding of who you want to become and the formation of what qualities in you meet your goals - does this mean unnatural? To be led by external circumstances, attributing everything to chance...
What is so right and natural about this? And why is conscious work on oneself, changing oneself for the better in order to achieve happiness and harmony perceived as violence against oneself?”
On the contrary, by independently determining the vector of your own development, you bring the order into your life that you yourself desire and do not allow external circumstances to completely decide what you will be like. This brings you closer to the implementation of your life plan, to satisfaction with yourself, your life and your environment, which you choose yourself, and are not content with what external circumstances have imposed on you.
Regarding the question “why change yourself?” I answer this question, perhaps, in most of my articles, both explicitly and implicitly. I will answer again. Self-development is a dynamic process of continuous improvement of all the best human qualities.
The best and worst qualities of a person
By best qualities I mean those qualities of nature that correspond to considerations of personal comfort and happiness, harmonious relationships with people, success in life, overcoming difficulties, inner peace, order of thoughts, health, willpower and spiritual freedom.
Bad qualities are those that make us suffer, get angry, be torn by internal contradictions, complicate our lives and poison the lives of those around us, make us sick, dependent on passions and desires, weak morally and physically.
By developing good qualities and freeing yourself from bad qualities, you strive for happiness and freedom, but by doing the opposite, you fly into the abyss of suffering and dependence. Self-development implies the first. When you promote the development of the best qualities of your nature, you change, as new abilities appear in you and old shortcomings disappear. This is the meaning of self-development in these positive personal metamorphoses.
That, in fact, is all, no sophisticated philosophy or relative morality, everything depends on your personal happiness and harmony, and not on some abstract ideas. This is what I want you to strive for and what this site is entirely dedicated to.
I have already said what a terrible mistake it is to believe that you cannot change yourself. But another more dangerous thing is the lack of need to change something in yourself. Many believe that they are already the crown of creation, the most worthy representatives of the human species, and they have seen all sorts of self-development sites in their graves.
It really happens that a person is really very developed, but most often he falls into the trap of his pride and pride, believing that he has nowhere to develop, because there is almost always the opportunity to move somewhere and improve something.
And besides, very often education and upbringing are not able to develop personal potential completely (and can even do harm in some places), leaving behind many gaping gaps, undiscovered abilities, hidden anxieties and complexes within the structure of individuality.
Therefore, in almost all cases, it is necessary to make an effort to make something out of oneself: after all, few people are so lucky that their educators and parents were able to give the leap necessary for harmonious development and resolve all emerging internal problems and contradictions.
If you're wondering is it possible to change yourself?, it means you recognize the presence of such properties in yourself that need to be changed and do not consider yourself an ideal and a dead end of development and everything is not so scary, you are taking the first steps towards self-development, standing on the threshold of wonderful metamorphoses.
All that remains is for you, armed with the support that I will provide you with my advice and recommendations for self-improvement, to move on this difficult but bright path with a song.
Can a person change internally? A question that everyone has asked themselves at least once. Not wanting to change the state of affairs in life means the fact that the individual is ready to accept his fate. Painful problems, disagreements, misunderstanding of oneself - these and other complexes completely take away the mood to act and feel the taste of personal freedom. What do many people want? Become rich, gain recognition from others, open your own business, be independent. How to change internally and will this help you achieve your own goal? You will find the most valuable things for yourself in our article.
How to change internally and start living again
Fact is fact, but often the obstacles on our path to success are not people, the politics of the country, but ourselves. Character is what builds each person and allows him to make changes for the better or for the worse. Someone will ask: “I need to completely change, but my character is genetically determined by my upbringing.” Not certainly in that way! If change is truly what will give you a feeling of happiness, then the choice is obvious. “Thoughts and perceptions of the world around us are material,” it’s hard to disagree with this expression.
Every event, thought, word, movement is formed from the internal philosophy of the individual. They are a direct reflection of their own experiences, experiences, dreams. Decision is the main key to personal success. and start changing here and now - such a decision must be supported by motivating actions.
Being honest with yourself is the main rule! Every word and thought must be supported by actions, otherwise the personality will be “canned.” Many psychologists say: “No matter how you love yourself more than other people. Such love should be for good. Learn from your mistakes, stop thinking about what others say, rejoice in small victories, and finally praise yourself - such symptoms are guaranteed to get rid of imaginary prejudices.”
A counter question is created- Can a person change internally if the symptoms of chronic self-rejection are obvious? We need to remember how often a person praises himself for victories in a certain area, approves of the risk of changing the course of affairs, or completely suppresses it. And, most importantly, how strong the emotions are when a person finds himself in awkward/unusual situations in society.
People are more often accustomed to chiding themselves over little things about their own appearance and mental abilities, which demonstrates the chronic hostility of their inner world. This theme is perfectly emphasized by the statement: “Until you can love yourself, trying to change will be pointless.”
The ability to appreciate your individuality is a passport to the world of inner freedom. How can a girl change internally when she doubts her femininity? How can a guy become a different person if he has not formed a strong and confident character? Very hard! The task will be to look deep into your soul and find what you need to fight.
Effective practice for the formation of a holistic personality
Here the topic will be touched upon - how to change internally according to the methods of psychologists. These tips will be the starting point for a new “I”:
Make a list of all the things that prevent you from living to the fullest.
Finding the “root of evil” in everything that happens is the main task that can change perceptions.
Write a motivational letter to yourself, but in the future.
Does the student see himself as a travel photographer? Does a woman want to find her other half? It is important to indicate those actions that a person is ready to perform at any cost.
Assess the scale of the desired future.
What transformations are possible from a certain action? Are there barriers that can be eliminated or their impact reduced?
Admit your mistakes.
Working on mistakes was important not only at school, but at any age! Find ways to solve them, eliminate the risk of repetition of fatal situations that destroy internal integrity.
Constantly write down the doubts that arise on the path to a new “I”.
Character developed over the years, lifestyle and behavior are stumbling blocks that can ruin all attempts. Everyone by nature strives for their comfort zone. Calmness attracts symptoms such as laziness, fears, anxiety, and excitement. Fighting with yourself and others are necessary measures that shape character. It is important to know that many prejudices are artificially created by the mind.
Say what you want out loud.
“I can”, “I can do it”, “nothing will stop me” - such remarks embody the energy within for action. An additional benefit to karma will be gratitude. Love for the world, family, friends, a positive attitude does not give room for negative weaknesses.
Change your worldview and meaning in life
The famous personal growth coach Robert Kiyosaki once said in his lecture: “You need to abandon the outdated framework that oppresses your dreams.” It’s hard to disagree, because they stand on the way to the desired goal. Stereotypes of parents, friends, and the whole society can transform a person’s view of the world and himself. Relatives cannot always objectively give good advice on how to succeed in a particular business. What can be done? Stop relying on other people's principles!
Have your own hobby
Hobbies bring new colors to life and allow you to escape from mental stress. Does being busy take up too much of your time on the path to success? Perfect! It’s also great when you can turn entertainment into an additional source of income or recreation.
Do not judge or evaluate other people
First of all, it is optimal to start with yourself - this will allow you to maintain inner peace and balance. Nerves and worries from a lack of mutual understanding with a friend or colleague will not lead to anything good. The best way is to understand your opponent and interact with him occasionally. If a person is dear, find a compromise. Someone brings quarrels, negativity into life, is a “weighing stone” - avoid him as much as possible.
Don't put off important actions until later
Even if the idea is practically unattainable, it would be a bad idea to abandon it outright. If a need is felt, it’s time to implement it. You cannot justify idleness, because during this time it is possible to translate some stages of the strategy into reality.
Don't despair over little things
“The first pancake is lumpy” and “attempts justify the whole journey” - these statements complement each other. In fact, failures are our useful assistants. Each attempt is a kind of experience, moral preparation, motivation not to stop on the path of one’s own development. It requires considerable determination and willpower, especially if the result is worth it! The strong will not allow themselves to “lower the gas” on the road to their goals.
Can a person change internally? Definitely yes! With every effort, what you want becomes clear and there is no need to doubt it! Of course, you won’t start them right now, but at least you’ll be honest with yourself! Share this article with your friends/family/relatives if you found it useful.
There is no person who would not be faced with a situation when at a certain stage of life the question arises: how to change for the better, how to change your behavior, habits, character?
You can change yourself for the better endlessly, because there will always be something that doesn’t suit you. In the process of life, many of us develop an attitude towards existence that can be characterized in two words - a feeling of helplessness.
It seems to us that life is full of hopelessness and desperation. It becomes especially scary when we are unable to change anything. There are many reasons to think this way - constant pain, endless disappointments, incessant grievances. But as a result, we see one thing - a categorical refusal of life, self-loathing and the inability to see our life in a positive way.
In such a situation, it is important to ask yourself the question: “What leads me to constant disappointments? How can I change myself for the better and change my attitude towards the world?
After all, it is the desire for better and self-improvement that can change a person’s character, his worldview and attitude towards life, then the world around him will treat him completely differently.
Internal and external changes in a person certainly lead to an improvement in life. The highest goals and dreams become accessible. When we are ready to change - we are growing!
Intrinsic motivation
What is one of the main reasons for wanting to change yourself and your usual lifestyle for the better? Often it's fear. Among the strongest motivators are the fear of losing health, family, job, loved one, status, fear of not being able to do something in life.
To start changes, you need to convince yourself and believe that there is always a way out of any situation; it is important to have a strong hope of solving the problem.
Only then does a girl in love, who wants to lose weight and not lose her loved one, start going to the pool and gym. A person who has had a heart attack immediately stops smoking. The fear of poverty and insolvency forces one to work hard.
However, a person will not change himself and his life if he is satisfied with everything and he is sure that he will live well anyway. Those who simply do not see the possibility of solving emerging problems and difficult situations will not strive for change.
People do not fight serious illnesses because they do not believe and do not hope for recovery. To start changing, you need to realize how important and precious everything is to you that can easily be lost.
The beginning of change
There are no ways to change internally quickly and easily. Nor have they come up with magical means for instantly eradicating bad habits or acquiring positive character traits.
The desire to change yourself is not enough - it is important to make some efforts to achieve success. Change begins with a clear understanding of what exactly irritates you or doesn’t suit you in yourself, what prevents you from living peacefully.
You need to find out for yourself what positive or negative qualities you have, what they give you. Then consciously choose those qualities that you absolutely must get rid of in order to change for the better.
There is no need to try to get rid of all bad qualities and habits at the same time. This is an absolutely impossible task!
It is necessary to gradually and patiently cultivate the positive qualities inherent in every person. This process is similar to how a gardener cares for and cares for flowers. Even roses freed from weeds will not bloom and smell fragrant if not properly cared for.
Positive thinking
Every day we hear endless complaints about people, life, injustice. At the same time, everyone knows about the usefulness and importance of positive thinking. It has long been known that people’s thoughts depend on their statements and influence behavior, emotions and feelings.
Priest Will Bowen observed people's behavior over a long period of time. He advised those who wanted to radically change their lives to wear a bracelet on their wrist for three weeks and try to live without complaints, gossip and irritation.
If a person forgot and started saying negative phrases, he had to put the bracelet on his other hand, and the countdown began again. The goal of the experiment is to wear the bracelet on one hand for a full three weeks.
The method used turned out to be extremely effective. The observation participants changed significantly - they learned to notice positive qualities in themselves and the world around them, live without complaints for a long time, and stopped speaking negatively about things and people.
Thus, participants who wanted to know how to change beyond recognition internally learned to control their thoughts and phrases, which led to dramatic changes in their lives. In addition, the experiment allowed everyone to learn a lot of interesting things about themselves and their thinking.
External changes
How to change externally? A question of this kind will certainly arise if you want to change yourself for the better. The general image will certainly begin to undergo dramatic changes as soon as changes appear in the internal worldview.
By learning to use positive thinking, you will stop wasting your strength and energy on useless grievances and destructive thoughts, and you will also be able to forgive offenders and ill-wishers.
As soon as you recognize your uniqueness, you will immediately love yourself and learn to show love to other people. There will be no desire to avoid problems and adversity with the help of alcohol, smoking, or overeating.
You will notice changes in your appearance: straightened shoulders, confident gait, sparkling eyes. The world will begin to change rapidly, and you will have new acquaintances, hobbies, and friends. You will want to change your appearance, your usual image, because you need to correspond to the new internal state.
The opposite course of life changes is also possible. First, a person decides to change his appearance: get rid of extra pounds, get a new hairstyle, update his wardrobe. Then changes immediately occur in the internal content and thinking. A person feels confident because he is satisfied with his appearance.
If you have decided and realized how to change radically (internally or externally), then don’t hesitate, don’t put off starting a better life until “tomorrow,” “later,” or “later.” Begin to be active immediately, regardless of the time of day or day of the week. Appreciate every second, because life passes quickly and irrevocably!
Changes in character
If you want to understand how to change your character for the better, you need to do the following. Take a blank sheet of paper and a pen and make a list of two columns.
In the first column write those character traits that, in your opinion, negatively affect behavior, in the second - indicate the traits that you would like to acquire. Your family and friends can help you compile such a list. This will give you the opportunity to look at yourself from the outside, because often we do not notice or do not want to admit our own shortcomings.
Next, next to the indicated character flaws, you need to write down the proposed ways to turn them into advantages. For example, pessimism can be overcome by positive thinking and a positive attitude, laziness - by an active lifestyle and hobbies, anger - by showing goodwill, etc.
Think responsibly about how your life will change after changing your character. This will motivate you. But remember that it is not enough just to know how to change your character. It is important to put in effort and work, to show willpower, and this is not an easy task!
Sometimes a person's character can be changed by changing their appearance. This is especially true for women. For example, by changing her hairstyle or hair color, a woman notices that her attitude towards the world around her begins to gradually change.
There is also an inverse relationship. When a rethinking of values occurs in the mind, a desire may arise to change externally in order to correspond to your new “I”.
Video “How to become happy”
Changing character is a very difficult task. In an effort to improve yourself and your character, control your behavior and get rid of unnecessary thoughts and actions in a timely manner!
If, when asked whether a person is happy, he says yes without hesitation, it means that the way he lives, what he does, the people around him, etc., suits him perfectly and every day brings him a lot of positive emotions that provide a boost of strength for new achievements. Those who were less fortunate, or rather, who lacked something in order to fulfill their desires - perseverance, patience or courage, will most likely think twice before claiming their happiness, because their plans were not realized.
Phrases like “it’s impossible to change”, “I don’t have enough character to achieve more” are absolute nonsense, because according to psychologists, it’s quite possible to change yourself, and thanks to such changes, you can change your life.
Each of us wants to change ourselves in some way: get rid of shyness or irritability, become more purposeful or cheerful... Changes do not happen instantly. Transformation is a road that we must walk step by step.
What awaits us on the path of change
1. Insight
In general, you are satisfied with everything about the way you live - everything is convenient and seems to be safe. But something is happening. Vivid or completely invisible, it disrupts the usual way of your life, and you suddenly feel an unpleasant stirring of dissatisfaction in your soul. Reality seems to be pushing you: think about it, is this the kind of person you wanted to live?
The awareness of the desire to change one’s character comes suddenly. Something happens that tears off the blinders of everyday life, forcing us to rise above the everyday routine and ask the question: “Who am I and how do I live? Am I happy with this? Do I always want to live like this?” Various internal and external events, intense or not very intense, positively or negatively colored, can push you to such a conversation with yourself. Illness, dismissal from work, a good book, cheating on a spouse, or a chance meeting with a friend.
But in fact, this fateful event that provokes insight is only a trigger that opens the floodgates of consciousness to thoughts that previously remained outside of it.
Most likely, you have been thinking about this for a long time, but did not fully realize your own dissatisfaction - it was too convenient to live according to habit, without changing anything.
You suppressed irritation, did not notice the decrease in self-esteem, compared yourself with someone who had achieved more... And then a meeting with a fellow student who touched something inside, causing both delight and indignation at a way of thinking and lifestyle different from yours... These moments lead to acute awareness of the need to change internally - in order to become yourself. Getting carried away with ideas, making plans and realizing our desires often paradoxically takes us away from ourselves. We get used to imperfections, restrictions and almost no longer feel tightness and spasms. That’s why it’s so important at the moment of insight not to ignore your own feelings, but to listen and try to understand yourself. Why, for example, has it ceased to be interesting in the company of friends or no longer wants to perform feats of labor.
2. Uncertainty
This stage is a test of the strength of our thirst for change. He either confirms your desire to become different, or nullifies noble impulses. How valuable are new ideas to you personally? What is this - a manifestation of your nature or a stupid attempt to put on someone else's dress? A period of doubt will help separate the wheat from the chaff...
“It would be great, but...”, “How will my loved ones perceive this?”, “Will I find more than I lose?”, “Will I be happier than I am now?” - these questions overcome us as soon as we decide to change our lives. Any change means taking risks. After all, you are moving away from your usual state towards uncertainty. It's always scary not to be able to predict the future with 100% certainty.
However, the stage of doubt is necessary. Uncertainty does not deprive us of freedom of choice - it only creates the conditions for our choice to be conscious. This stage makes it possible to avoid mistakes inherent in rash actions. It allows us to assess the importance of what we are going to do and the risks we are willing to take in the name of change.
Uncertainty allows us to evaluate the importance of what we are going to do and the risks we are willing to take in the name of change.
However, if we doubt for too long, it kills our desire to change our character. We “cool down,” lose the energy needed for action, and return to the starting position. Perhaps your expectations from change are excessive, and the bar is too high? Ask yourself honestly what you expect from change, do you realize that working on yourself will require a lot of effort and time and, perhaps, the ability to rise after defeat and start again? And if, after frank answers to these questions, the goal does not become less desirable, limit the time of hesitation and make up your mind.
3. Resistance
After the period of doubt comes a stage of resistance to change. He is characterized by the thoughts “I won’t succeed,” “I’m not capable of such actions.” Is this a reason to abandon the plan?
Inside each of us lives a kind of saboteur who does not want to change his life and blocks all our efforts. Sigmund Freud was the first to discover this universal property of the psyche and call it “resistance.” The function of resistance is to counteract the awareness of desires, feelings or ideas that can destroy the established self-image and lead to changes in life or relationships dear to us. Despite the fact that this is the terminology of psychoanalysis, we constantly observe manifestations of resistance in everyday life - remember how often we tend not to recognize obvious things!
An instrument of resistance is a formed system of attitudes, unique filters through which we look at our lives.
In everyday situations, they can greatly help us, automating routine decision-making, saving enormous amounts of time and energy. The uniqueness of these attitudes determines our character and shapes our individuality. “The best is the enemy of the good”, “I am always right”, “I must” - you need to know these attitudes and take them for granted. This will allow you to make an “adjustment” for them in the situation of making an important decision.
At first, this will not always be successful, and even then only in hindsight. For example, you realize that the reason for yesterday’s quarrel with your husband is that the eternal “I know better” worked. You should not try to forcefully “turn off” your filter starting tomorrow. This will only create an “overfilter” designed to control the previous one, and will only complicate your system of attitudes and slow down the movement towards change. Just know your settings. By being aware of them, you will be able to make a choice, use your usual way of thinking or try to look at the state of things in a way that is unusual for you.
4. Implementation of the plan
Internal transformation is a long path of specific small steps-actions aimed at realizing your plans. Having gone through three stages of change, you have come to the conscious need for transformation. What happens next? How do you feel about yourself? Do you consider yourself to be a generally good person? A positive, healthy self-attitude will help you move towards your goal effectively and at a good pace, while self-blame, which may have pushed you to work on yourself, will be a serious obstacle. Therefore, self-forgiveness, self-acceptance and a kind attitude towards oneself are very important in order for the process of changing one’s character to begin.
Violent activity and a sharp transition to a different behavior are not always signs of internal changes. Radical actions are more likely to indicate a superficial belief that everything will happen instantly and easily, while personal transformation involves deep, lasting changes that manifest themselves in the most ordinary, everyday actions. These are moments of reflection, spoken words of gratitude to my wife, an attentive conversation with my teenage daughter. Every day, every minute of everyday life, doing ordinary things with a focus on the intended goal is a recipe for profound changes.