Everyone experiences changes in their lives. At first it seems to us that one day this will come to an end, but in fact life is an eternal change, an endless process of renewal. There is even a Chinese proverb: “Nothing ends, but everything changes.” This is how people move forward.
These tips are for those who are experiencing a series of endless changes and do not know how to cope with it. We all still have a lot to learn.
1. Spend only 20% of your time doing the wrong things, and spend 80% on the right things.
It's easy to complain. If you spend 80% of your time doing what is right and 20% of your time is wasted, then what? It is easier to balance life in this way than to answer the question: “So what to do now?”, when you were deliberately mistaken in 50% of cases, hoping for chance, luck, God’s grace and a curve that you are already tired of taking out.
2.You are doing at least one thing right in this bedlam
You can curse your life as much as you want and complain until you get tired of it, but even if your everyday life has plunged into complete chaos, you are still doing at least one thing right. Are you at least reading our advice now, see? Steps are taken one after another.
3.If everything you've tried doesn't work, find a new way.
Let's say you're stuck, stuck and don't know where to go or what to do. Are you repeating the same thing over and over again? So force yourself to do something different! A new action will definitely give a new result, and small changes will result in one big one.
4.Today is a new day
We have all already had the opportunity to verify this from our own experience: the past has no relation to the future. The future can be better! Unless you ruin it with your own hands. You need to realize that the past cannot be changed. Focus on the present or you'll miss your chance. Leave the past in the past and plan for the future.
5. Understand what you want
Really, what? The future is a blank slate. If you can see it, hear it, feel it, then everything will work out for you!
6. There will always be problems
And no one can avoid them. There will be tiny problems, and some the size of an elephant. If it seems to you that you are always upset, disappointed and inconsolable, this only means that you do not notice the bright moments. It is physically impossible to be depressed every second.
7. It is not necessary to understand the cause of the problem in order to solve it.
The vast majority of people believe that to solve a problem it is necessary to get to the root of it and only then eliminate it. “If I knew what led to this... If I could change it...” Unfortunately (or fortunately), there is not a grain of truth in this belief. Double problems await those who strive to comprehend everything. Understanding does not always trigger change. There will always be new moments, new nuances. Life is not a book.
You have enough strength to at least control yourself. It turns out that everything is already good.
Stress is everywhere: in the office and at home, in stores and in traffic jams. However, many people face such difficulties in comparison that a three-hour traffic jam will seem like flowers. A serious illness, betrayal of a loved one, bankruptcy makes the world too cruel.
How to find the strength to resist all negative situations in life? Some are trying to fight them, some are simply trying to avoid bad events, others are ready to endure all the problems and wait until they resolve themselves. No matter how you operate, here are helpful tips to help you get through difficult times and move on.
How to Get Through Hard Times
1. Avoid negative thoughts
If you have any problems, then you constantly think about them. All this fills your life with negativity. This is the easiest option, complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. It's easy to always be prepared to fail. But this will not help you overcome despair. This destructive attitude will only make the situation worse. Learn to find something good or useful even in a negative situation.
2. Learn to feel happy
The ability to rejoice is a well-developed habit. You must consciously strive and extract only the good from any situation.
3. Failures and setbacks are part of life, it makes you stronger
Of course, no matter how much we want it, there are times when not very good things happen. However, we always have a choice in how we respond to failure and setbacks. Try to learn from these situations and look at them from a different angle. The experience of failure and setbacks is priceless. A lot of successful people failed big time before they took off.
4. Friendship
This is what you need for a faithful friend, so that at the right moment you can lean on his strong shoulder. All your thoughts are filtered through the prism of your own needs and desires, so you cannot always be objective in your judgments. A friend will help you find the right solutions or simply support you with a kind word. In difficult times, any help will be useful.
5. Stop torturing yourself
Beating yourself up is perhaps the biggest mistake you can make during difficult times. Feelings of guilt due to unfulfilled plans, missed opportunities or unhappy relationships. By tormenting yourself, you spend a lot of energy in the wrong direction. Better direct this energy towards recovery.
6. Think about your victories
No matter what happens now, you cannot be a failure at everything all the time. I am sure that you have victories and successes, talents or useful skills. Remember them and don't despair.
7. Avoid your fears
Sometimes your greatest fear is just an illusion. More often than not, people experience fear of the unknown. They don't yet know whether something will be good or bad, but they only think about the bad outcome. Banish such fears and stop being afraid of things that do not exist.
8. Everything passes
Life is never perfect and that's not a bad thing. No matter how bad it is right now, don't be upset. Remember that after the black stripe a white stripe will certainly come.
9. Don't make big decisions
Try to avoid making big decisions and plans during difficult times in your life. During this period, you will not be able to find answers to fundamental questions.
10. Live in the present
Your future depends on you now, it is not determined by past mistakes and failures. You can make things better or worse. However, you cannot change or skip the present moments as they are the building blocks for your better future.
Remember that bad thoughts only attract negativity. Only you can control your mood and it should not depend solely on external success and prosperity. Even millionaires can suffer from depression and beggars can have fun.
Each of us has hard times. And those who ended up at the top did not fall there from the sky. What truths do people rely on to overcome difficulties and move towards their goals? If someone has already walked this path, then you too can conquer your peak. How can you make wiser choices? how to survive and not lose yourself?
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger... (Friedrich Nietzsche)
The wisest, most successful and respected people we know were not always like this and were not always at the pinnacle of fame.
Of course, they knew defeats, failures, poverty, they lost loved ones, but they still managed to get out of the depths of their own experiences and despair to the light of hope.
Everyone's life has had its ups and downs. Only after experiencing this did they learn to feel, understand and appreciate their lives.
Hard times temper a person, fill him with understanding, sympathy and deep wisdom. People are not born like this - they become like this... or don’t become like this.
The only secret is that everything depends on ourselves. When they come hard times, and we face difficult trials, we either allow this situation to do whatever it wants to us (even destroy us), or we become stronger.
The choice is only ours.
Whenever you are faced with a choice, be careful: do not choose what is convenient, comfortable, respectable, recognized by society, honorable. Choose what resonates in your heart. Choose what you would like to do, no matter what the consequences. (Osho)
Pain is a part of life that helps you grow above yourself
Many people are afraid of themselves, afraid of their feelings. A person can rant for a long time about how wonderful life is, how bright love is, and then, shuddering, turn away from them.
Often, we hide our brightest feelings from ourselves - because both love and life itself can sometimes be very painful, so we try to protect ourselves from feelings that bring pain, and in fact, to protect ourselves from life.
For some reason, from childhood we are convinced that any pain is bad, it is harmful to us. But how can we experience true love and real life if we are afraid of our feelings?
Pain awakens a person, makes him feel alive and loved. And we, most often, try to hide it.
How do we know how strong we are in a difficult situation? It all depends on how we cope, that's all that matters.
Pain is our feeling, and all feelings are part of the person himself, part of our personal reality. And, if we are ashamed of them and hide them, we allow lies to destroy our reality.
We have the right to feel and endure pain, the right to be scarred from this pain... We have the right to feel our life and love, we have the right to become stronger, wiser, more true.
...remember, the person who hurt you was caused by you. He's a doll. Don’t be angry with him, but show him gratitude for his strength, for his help on the path to the New. (Amu Mom)
The right attitude is half the victory
We all have dark days and hard times. Hoping that our lives will always be wonderful is like dreaming of a sea where the waves always rise up and never fall down.
After all, the waves rising up and falling down are part of the same ocean. You will be able to come to terms with the reality of your life's ups and downs.
Then it will become clear that sometimes, in order to fly to the top, you have to go down. To surface, you need to push off from the bottom.
Life, of course, is imperfect, but still beautiful. After all, our goal is not to achieve perfection, but to live an imperfect life well lived.
When you open your eyes every morning, take a fresh look at your life and take everything as it comes. Everything around is wonderful.
Every day is an invaluable gift. Those who think that life will always be with them are mistaken. She is worthy of admiration and respect.
Don't let negativity penetrate your soul. Don't let bitterness stop you from experiencing the sweetness of life. Don't let dark days rob you of hope.
Let others disagree, be proud of what you know - the world is beautiful! Change your thoughts and you change your reality.
If you do something beautiful and sublime, and no one notices it, don’t be upset: the sunrise is generally the most beautiful sight in the world, but most people are still sleeping at this time... (Osho)
And it is especially important to have the right mindset when it becomes necessary to admit that...
The biggest fears are illusion
When they come hard times, it’s not easy for everyone to follow the voice of their heart and continue on their path, but if you allow false fear to stop you, that’s where the real tragedy is.
Fear can be overwhelming, it may seem huge to you (in the history of mankind, fear has destroyed more people than all the armies of the world), but... it is not at all as strong as you think.
Your fear has only as much power as you give it. Yes, yes, you are the master of your fears, so use this power!
The key to the problem is recognizing your fear and specifying it. Illuminate it with the radiance of your words, so that it does not remain an all-consuming and formless darkness surrounding you.
Fear will not let you forget about yourself, but your heart will remain open to meet the enemy. Because refusing to fight is already a defeat.
Each of us has the power to overcome our fear if we face it. Be brave! And remember that being brave means overcoming your fear.
This means that you don't let fear stop you on your life's path.
Taking on the challenge of the unknown despite all fears is what courage is. There are fears, but if you take on the challenge again and again, gradually these fears disappear. (Osho)
Experience gives development
Over time, we realize that life is not at all what we imagined it to be - neither harder nor easier - it is both easy and difficult at the same time.
But all this makes life more interesting. If a person manages to maintain a positive attitude towards his life, then almost any surprise will be pleasant for him.
When you stop expecting life to be just the way you like it, you begin to appreciate it more for what it is.
After all, only over time do we understand that the greatest gifts life presents to us are not at all in the packaging in which we expect.
If everything doesn’t work out as we plan, we still gain experience. And experience is the most valuable thing we can get from life, because it makes us stronger.
We all have the power within us to transform our hurts and anxieties into wisdom—we just have to embrace it.
Accept what happens to us, use the knowledge and experience gained in order to continue our path in life.
The experience gained gives us a huge advantage in the future.
The Japanese say: “If there has been no crisis in your life that is difficult to survive, you should buy these experiences for big money.”
These mysterious people know that wisdom does not come to a person at birth or with age. Wisdom is experience gained in difficult situations, and with it comes understanding of life.
Your life is your responsibility
Most people are afraid of responsibility. By blaming other people for our misfortunes, we deny that we are responsible for our own lives - we give control of our lives to someone else.
Ultimately we will always have to pay for it. And the sooner we stop trying to shift responsibility for our happiness to someone else, the happier we will be.
And if you are unhappy now, it is your own fault. Our happiness, first of all, depends on how much we trust ourselves - in our determination to be responsible for our life, from this moment until its very end.
And it doesn’t matter who was responsible for it before. Everyone should start thinking for themselves, deciding for themselves, choosing their own path in life.
Be the hero of your own life, not its victim.
Your life is a canvas! Draw what you want and don't listen to those who can't draw!
The present is the only thing worth worrying about
The past no longer exists - we cannot change anything there. There is no future either. We live only here and now, and we deal with reality as it is at this moment.
Of course, we are working towards our ideal tomorrow. But in reality we are still dealing with the present.
Often people turn away from the present, do not appreciate it, thinking that somewhere is better, brighter, more beautiful. They wish they were somewhere else.
But the whole secret is that where you are now is exactly where you need to be in order to get to where you would like to be tomorrow.
Your friends, your family are too beautiful to ignore. Remember how wonderful it is to live, love, dream.
Look around with your eyes wide open and you will see a sea of possibilities in front of you. Most of what you fear simply doesn't exist.
Much of what you love is much closer than you think. Look how wonderful your life is, after all.
Happiness can only be created for yourself in the present. It does not have the ability to exist somewhere in the future, or remain in the past, as many people think.
Too many young people are waiting for happiness in the distant future, and too many older people think that their best days are long behind them.
Don't let the past and future steal your present.
Die to the past at every moment, whatever the past may be, heaven or hell. Whatever it is, die for him, and be fresh and young, and be born again... (Osho)
You always have something to be grateful for.
IN hard times being positive is not at all naive - it is your symbol of composure and strength. Life always gets better when you smile.
You are doing the right thing if you continue to smile and appreciate your life, despite the fact that there are reasons to cry and complain.
Imagine waking up tomorrow with only what you were grateful for yesterday?
Think about the beauty that surrounds you, look at it and smile. Be grateful for all the little things in your life, because if you put them together, you will see that they are not such little things.
And at the end of the day we live, it is not happiness that will make us grateful, but gratitude that will make us happy!
Everything you have is already more than enough, more than enough to be grateful and appreciative. Don't ask more from existence. Just enjoy what you've been given. And the more you enjoy, the more will be given to you... (Osho)
Give the grain time to germinate
Do you remember how uninteresting it was to solve easy problems at school, it became boring.
So it is in life - what is easiest to achieve is rarely worth achieving. Any good deed takes time to complete.
A little patience - and you will get the desired results.
Imagine what would happen if all our desires were instantly fulfilled, what would we dream about then? We would lose the pleasure of waiting for the result and the path to achieving the goal.
Patience is not the ability to wait at all, it is the ability to maintain a good mood while putting in enough effort to achieve the intended goal.
The desire to stay focused while moving one small step at a time. By moving one small pebble at a time, you can ultimately move mountains, because every pebble, no matter how small, moves us forward.
Don't dream of instant fulfillment! You deserve more. What comes easily is just as easy to disappear.
And something that requires a lot of time and effort often outlives its creators.
Even if you are very talented and put in a lot of effort, some results just take time: you won't get a baby in a month even if you get nine women pregnant. (Warren Buffett)
No one has the right to judge and evaluate
On the way to our goals, we often turn to others to evaluate our progress. But often people are simply not capable of this...
Remember that you did not come into this world to live up to someone else’s expectations, just as others did not come to meet yours.
It’s better to create your own, unique path through life. After all, for each of us, even the concept of success is our own.
Success is a life lived the way you want it.
You don't have to be a big personality to impress people. You don't have to be famous to matter.
You don't have to become a millionaire to be successful. And you don't need other people's approval. Just believe in yourself and what you want to achieve.
You can be a modest and quiet person, and yet be a master of your craft. Quiet success is much more real than a bright, flash-like success.
You yourself determine what success is for you. You, not anyone else.
When someone condemns you, remember the immortal words of Aristotle. Hearing slander directed at himself, he remarked: “I try to live in such a way that no one will ever believe these words of yours... (Osho)
You are not alone
When you feel bad and scared, you look around and see a bunch of people who seem to be in perfect order.
But in reality this is not entirely true. Each person experiences difficulties and hardships in their own way.
If we have the courage to talk to people about this, we will realize that this feeling of loneliness and loss is common to everyone.
Many of those around you at that very moment are experiencing the same experiences and the same feelings.
And no matter how difficult or pitiful your current situation seems to you, know that there are still many people experiencing the same emotions with you.
And when you tell yourself, “I'm all alone,” it's just your anxious brain telling you a convenient lie.
You are not alone, because everything that happens to you has already been experienced and felt by other people. They may not be near you, and you cannot communicate with them right now, but they really exist.
And if you are in despair now, know that I often experience, feel and think almost the same as you. I'm very concerned about many of the same things that bother you, and although some people may not understand us, we understand each other. You are not alone!
Anyone who can be happy alone is a real person. If your happiness depends on others, then you are a slave, you are not free, you are in bondage... (Osho)
P.S.
The fact that life is complex is one of its greatest gifts. Only by facing life's difficulties do we become stronger.
This power gives us the opportunity to successfully achieve our deepest and most cherished desires.
It is because life is difficult that we can make it truly wonderful.
It is the complexity of our lives that gives us a chance to overcome all these difficulties - and get unforgettable pleasure from it.
This gives us the chance to truly change our lives.
So remember...
When they come hard times, we must be strong enough to deal with them. Don't dream of an easy life - rather, dream of being strong enough to overcome the obstacles that confront us.
What helps you cope better? hard times? What truths help you move forward, no matter what? Leave a comment and share your thoughts.
When, from everything that has befallen you, you reach a state that you can no longer stand, do not retreat under any circumstances. This is exactly the place where your destiny will change... (Osho)
Be the hero of your own life!
There is not a single person in the world who has not experienced a “black streak” in life. Either something is not going well at work, then there is a misunderstanding in the family, financial problems, a car was stolen, etc. And often after such unpleasant situations the question arises: “Why me, why do I need this?” But not everyone can understand why difficult times are given. It is important to draw the right conclusions from any situation and only then will it bring benefits and the necessary experience.
Undoubtedly, all people are different and each has its own character and psyche. Human behavior in difficult and critical situations mainly depends on them. However, everyone changes throughout life, hardens and learns, so difficult times are simply necessary to cultivate fortitude, patience and self-understanding.
Why does a person need difficulties?
As strange as it may seem, everyone needs difficult times and unpleasant situations in life. There are many reasons for this:
- gain experience;
- feel the difference between “good” and “bad”;
- strengthen character;
- get out of your comfort zone, etc.
After a difficult situation, a person gains experience and next time it will not be a problem for him, because he will know how to act. In addition, without difficulties it is impossible to form your own character and strengthen it. In difficult times, a person discovers himself as an individual, he begins to understand what he is capable of, his moral, physical abilities and potential.
Also, when troubles arise in life, especially if they are serious, you can not only understand yourself better, but also determine which of your friends, acquaintances and relatives are real and will support you in any situation. This is important because it is always important to understand who is nearby and who you can rely on, and who you shouldn’t even communicate with. Difficult times sort people out. And this happens naturally.
Of course, you don’t need to look for trouble on purpose in order to strengthen your character or understand what you need. They will find you at the right time. But at the same time, you shouldn’t miss opportunities simply because you’re afraid of trouble. Many people throughout their lives, due to lack of self-confidence or their own success, often simply do not take advantage of the chances that circumstances provide them. Moreover, this happens all the time simply because of the fear of failure. But it’s stupid to miss a great opportunity without even trying to do something. Often what seems impossible is actually not so. And fate loves those who are not afraid to take risks and do something new.
Some are of the opinion that difficult times are always given to a person for some purpose, as a lesson. Therefore, they need to not only be experienced and endured, but also the appropriate conclusions must be drawn. Often, if a person has not done this, then there is a high probability that the situation will repeat itself again and again.
It is simply necessary to teach your children to solve problems and be able to get out of difficult situations. Because by protecting the child from everything all the time and doing everything for him, parents only harm him. Such a person, growing up, is simply unable to independently withstand the troubles of life and this has a serious impact on his health and nervous system. And he can rarely achieve success in life without constant pushing and control from the outside.
How to get through a tough time
Usually the first reaction of a person to whom something unpleasant happens is despair and anger. However, you need to teach yourself to perceive this correctly. It is important to experience difficult times as lessons that simply need to be completed, something like quests in computer games.
As Michel Montaigne said: “You must be able to endure what cannot be avoided.”
You need to learn not only to solve problems with dignity, but also to understand that you simply cannot influence some circumstances, no matter how hard you try. This will not only keep your nervous system healthy, but will also teach you to adequately assess the situation.
It is necessary to understand that under any, even the most unpleasant circumstances, there is no need to give up, despair and begin to feel sorry for yourself. It is important to be able to “take the hit” and not become depressed. You need to understand that sooner or later the troubles will end and everything will get better. You should also not try to control everything and everyone, there are situations that a person simply cannot influence, you just need to come to terms with them.
If difficult times have begun in your life, then you should not dwell on unpleasant sensations. In order to survive them, you need to find some kind of outlet for yourself: a favorite activity, communication with your family, etc. Simple things like this will help you feel more comfortable and happier, which in turn will directly contribute to making better decisions and staying calm. Even this does not necessarily require financial investment; you can find something you like from simple activities, the main thing is to do it with pleasure.
In order to help yourself relax and relieve nervous tension, you need to engage in physical activity: go to the gym, run, do exercises at home, etc. This will give an outlet for negative energy, and even after the troubles are over, you will still have something beautiful, fit body and health. Exercising also contributes to the production of happiness hormones, which will also come in handy in a stressful situation.
It is not so important how many times difficult situations will happen in your life, the main thing is how much benefit you will take from them. It is not always possible to immediately understand why something happened to you; in most cases, this happens over time. However, nothing happens for nothing; everything is needed for a purpose. Understanding and accepting this is simply necessary for every person. To survive difficult times and any troubles, you must always remain optimistic and believe that they will end, but the experience will remain. No matter how difficult the situation is, there is a way out of it.